So true! I wasted a year of my life with jms after she told me she 'had no emotional intelligence' - and she didn't! Should have listened - believe the avoidants when they say something!
Talking it out, might work... It depends on how well you can communicate with each other. If it's more work than it's worth, MOVE ON! I believe people CAN change if it's for the right reasons and it's WORTH IT... Be AUTHENTIC! Then you're not playing the other person, and you know your WORTH! Never lose YOUR VALUE! Some people just aren't worth your time!
*One of the biggest red flags is a woman who’s constantly negative or critical - it drains your energy and impacts your confidence. Surround yourself with people who uplift you and support your growth, not those who bring constant drama!*
That's also a red flag for me as well. Or the need to compare me to an Ex right off the bat on a first date. Thats a huge F-NO! Flag for me lol. It may seem like a compliment to say "you're not like my other ex." But there's a underlying toxic mentality in that person just barely hitting the surface in a subtle way.
Men, if you want to overcome the struggle put it in perspective (this has helped me)… You want a woman that respects you more than she loves you. If she respects you, she will show her love and always remain in line. If she doesn’t respect you, just walk away. Give up on the idea of romantic love and you will save yourself a lot of time and energy. You will also attract a more suitable partner as you will sniff the bs out much quicker. Know thyself
Man, I feel so lucky to have found one without any of these traits in excess... She even calls out herself on her bad behaviours sometimes without me having to say anything. And it happens like 5-10% of the time we're interacting. Truly a keeper...
Peace of mind is more important than finding a partner. Better to be single and content than unhappy in a relationship, All said and done, it is ultimately ourselves that we have to live with.
Here are mine condensed to four. Works 100% 4.) Lacks self-curiosity and interest in personal growth, and enjoys talking smack about others. Why look at yourself when other people are always the problem? 3. Poor interpersonal boundaries. Their own and for you. Do they push your boundaries? If they do, can they accept "no" without projecting FOGS on you, even subtly? (FOGS: Fear, Obligation, Guilt, Shame). Women test instinctively. It's expected, but a sane one will respect you more for having firm boundaries. If you don't understand what boundaries are, learn, and be sure you actually have them, no matter how hot she is. Do you say "no", when you know that "no" is the right answer for you? 2. Flakiness - Unreliable, inconsistent, full of excuses, lies, blames others, the world, friends, their boss, planetary alignments, and you for whatever makes them feel bad, which leads us to #1 1. Lack of accountability - Nothing is ever their fault This combo gets you someone, who is unreliable, refuses to own their own sh!t, and invites you to own it for them. If you accept the challenge and choose to play their game, welcome to Cluster B personality disorder hell. The choice is your's. Choose wisely. You get what you let.
@@mukesh.dhimar we never know this things, before it happens to us. That you are here now, to learn and to grow is a direct consequence of what happend. 1 year ago, it happend to me and i invested all my time, in becoming my best version. Ive met someone like this again, 6 weeks ago and it did not catch me anymore. Become the man you want to see next to the woman you want to be with
I listen to your videos and I just nod my head up and down and keep saying "Yep, Yep, Yep, definitely, big time!!" Thanks for your work, there's plenty of us out there. Mine was 30 years ago and I am still haunted by that woman in my heart.
As a man fresh into his forties, I value my peace & quiet and no longer have any interest in getting involved with another toxic woman again. And regarding toxic exes: Never play with trash once it's in the garbage. Let the garbage men deal with it.
Yes - there are lot of women who have mental health issues- So be careful to these women and - Search for a true God fearing woman and has humility and humbleness
These are always so spot on. I see most or all of these things in virtually every woman I have ever dealt with, unfortunately. Good luck finding one that’s different gents.
I escaped a narcissist who was so entitled wanted a man to pay her bills for her, buy her luxury products, nearly killed me trying to please her, she idealised me then devalued me and discarded me, blamed me when I spoke up, shame as I really liked her until the entitlement came about. When you lead with your wallet you’re going to get burned. Since then I came across channels like this, learned about the DSM5 and about attachment theory, narcissism and co-dependency.
@@sphenoidjjj thankfully I could see it coming but it was like the proverbial frog in the frying pan when someone slowly turns up the heat, sorry but I’m not paying anyone’s rent, maid, buy luxury products for them, the new supply she got is though. I’m glad I got out and am rebuilding my sanity.
I've dated most of these types of women!!!! And have concluded, there are no normal women out there!!!! Have been single for 5+ years now, and love the peace I have in my home now!
Yes, my experience also. At least 50% are cluster B. It's archtypical and they have different brains and susceptible to emotional dysregulation. Men have issues too. Collectively it's why thecworld gone right wing, refusal to grow up.
Some of us ladies are good and still out here saying the same things. I just had this discussion with a male cousin of mine last night. It's too bad we non-disorded folks with integrity and kind hearts can't seem to find each other easier. 😢
It’s her birthday today and I’m fighting myself to not call. It feels inhuman to share so much with someone then be forced to share nothing. What a sad state of affairs.
I hope you don't call her. It's not worth getting pulled back in, or disrespected, or toyed with in any way. I know exactly how you feel though. Good luck to you.
Don't call her. I totally understand what you feel, but it's better to keep the distance. I passed the same a few months ago, and I still I'm struggling with this (even with no contact). Be strong and think in yourself. You will be better with the time.
Don't get confused with how you feel & the way someone makes/made you feel.. Your not missing her, your missing how YOU felt around her.. Don't do it, stay strong brother 🤙
Lise, thank you for creating these videos. It’s been nearly three years for me now, and while I’ve come a long way, there are still moments when I experience periods of anxiety tied to the difficult times I had with my ex who has BPD. As a physician, I recognized early during the relationship that she met the criteria for BPD and also NPD traits, yet, unfortunately for reasons such as codependency, I continued the relationship. It lasted two years and was marked by multiple instances of being discarded by her until I took the step to finish the relationship . Your videos have been invaluable in my healing process, and I often revisit them whenever I feel myself slipping back into old feelings. Thank you again for your support and insights.
Amazing video A month ago, my partnership of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, I've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why I am saying this here.
Saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult; I know this from my 12-year relationship ending. But I was unable to simply let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counselor, who was able to help me regain his affection.
I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤
Everytime I listen to you... it's like a revelation... like you were there when I was going through the tides... I at first loved the challenge.. you know maybe I can change her...maybe she need a good man .. one who can make her forget all the "animals" that hurt her... bro save your life... be that nice to yourself...#Properreigns
My ex-wife was almost all of the women described here. If only I'd seen Lise's videos earlier, I might not have thrown 20 years of my life away. I eventually broke free but only when my daughter was grown up. I stayed because I wanted her to have a father. Breaking away is brutal, though. I'm 68 and still in pain. These videos help me to understand that I wasn't crazy, and that I did the right thing in the end in spite of all the suffering.
Yup! How many good men put up with a covert narcissist and their daughters don't even know the personal sacrifice they endured to avoid being a 'step door dad' an undeserved fate of so many good men. Stay 💪 strong. There is a silent majority out there sharing your pain.
@BubbaWhite-indie You are right, my daughter will never know what I endured. Mostly because I would never say anything against her mother in front of her. And for good reason because she loves her mother just as we all did. It would be wrong to drag my daughter onto the battlefield. As husbands and fathers we have to be stoic and suffer in silence. That's why I appreciate the work Lise is doing. It validates everything that went on in our lives. The confusion, the loneliness, the sheer heartlessness of it all. It's telling, though, that my daughter, who is now 20 years old, has chosen to live with me in my little two room apartment, rather than in the family home she grew up in which is occupied solo by my ex- wife. And not through any prompting on my side. She made this choice all on her own.
Wow, this was an absolutely fantastic run down of what can potentially be experienced. Concise, accurate, well explained. Thank you Lise! it's rare to find such straight forward, no filler relationship related info online lately with all the click bait, viral wording and drawn out length. Much appreciated!
Purely platonic relationship between man and woman is not just rare, it's rare like 1% of all relationship. There's always the underlying intention, whoever is saying the opposite is eighter ignorant or haven't seen enough of life. Thanks for the great work Lise!
I have many female friends I have no sexual interest in. I only find a few women sexually attractive and have no desire to involve myself with women I'm not attracted to. I guess there could be some attraction the other way around with some of them, and generally I find men better company and more interesting, but I only wish I found so many women attractive that it was hard just being friends with the vast majority of them.
@@jakelesnake4927 the attraction goes at least one way, this is the point of the problem... it doesnt need to go both ways for there to be a real problem, as long as one of the friends finds the other attractive, then is a problem if youre in a relationship, youre partner will not like it.
What I learned today: 1. Confirmation for red flags that I noticed, with some new connections this year. 2. When a romantic interest is actively not making time to communicate adequately, often making excuses to not show up with fair effort for connection. Run! Quickly, and moved forward towards a future woman that is ready to commit. 😮💨 3. A whole lot more, but I'll stop here. #RecoveringHeart from Inconsistent people. #Learn&Grow #NoRepeats
Hey Lise, I know your content is primarily aimed at men, but as a young woman who watches your videos, I just want to say thank you. I recently broke up with my malignant narcissist boyfriend, and although I know I made the right choice, it’s been challenging. The emotional and verbal abuse, and even the beginnings of physical abuse, were taking a toll on my well-being, leaving me with anxiety, depression, and constant self-doubt. I kept asking myself, “What did I do wrong? Why is he being so cold and distant?” and “What happened to the seemingly sweet man I started to fall for?” Your videos have been a much-needed reminder that it wasn’t anything I said or did. This is just how they treat people once the lovebombing fades and you’re no longer the shiny new object. Thank you for helping me see things clearly.
I appreciate everything you've uploaded! You've helped me to identify I was with a pretty narcissistic woman and you helped me get out of that! Thank you for what you do!!!
Great video! Thank you for confirming my decision to walk away from a very toxic relationship a little over a year ago. Admittedly I let my guard down and ignored many red flags in the beginning. She was 1, 4, 8, and 10 of your list.
Lol I sort of thought the same thing. I think the key is to find someone who is actively working on their issues or to heal yourself so well that women with toxic traits aren't even attractive to you anymore.
Thank you for this. Recent relationship had all these traits. Currently getting out now and its difficult. Feels like your personally talking about my relationship lol
Really useful video. thank you. We all try to see the good in others when dating, however avoiding being ensnared with these types is the classic "an ounce of prevention is worth a TON of cure."
and then there are combinations of the above, insecurity and criticism of others go hand in hand, or she can be helpful in a real crisis, then expects you to put the same effort into her self inflicted crises, "tempests in a teapot", the permutations are endless, if you are a together guy, who loves who he is and what he does, look for the same, the best woman is the one that doesn't need you, and knows exactly why she wants you.
Thanks Lisa, very educational. I had no idea how many different types of mental case women there are. I have up-close-and personal experience and thank God that she wasn't even a girlfriend. Talking about dodging bullets... I think the most dangerous types are the ones who are undiagnosed and think they are normal. Thanks for the video!!!
Great video Lisa !! Thank you for your help here ! Great perspectives and real world examples of how us men can get ourselves completely upside down in a relationship.....right !! Having the inverse expectations of a significant other completely out of phase while we men think where in phase with our significant others and trying to manage, groom and grow a well footed relationship that's already set up for failure from the start. You have identified the barometer of toxic relationships, spousal manipulation, relationship unhappiness and abuse......You have really brought to light facts and traits that all victims of human trafficking share in. People are unpredictable enough but I think your analysis and video presentation goes farther and certainly deeper to help us men recognize and identify the "signs along the way" that cohesive and manipulative people use as a means for there own personal gain climbing on the shoulders of the ones they " love " . I call this the " fertility of a narcissist and seeds sewn to make the perfect victims for narcissists to feed from. Thanks again and keep it coming! Us men can be nieve !
Absolutely! I wouldn't advocate living with someone before tying the knot buuut it might give you a little bit more insight before going 'legal' which essential what marriage is.
Thank you so much for the work you do! I'm about 8 years out and in a good place these days. Some therapy, many books, videos like yours, and determination to recognize the red flags have set me free. Guys, listen and embrace what Lisa is sharing with the world and get out. Lisa, your inner and outer beauty are amazing! Thanks from Texas, Eric ✌️ n ❤
I deeply value your insight and what you offer. I've learned so much from you and have avoided several toxic women in my dating life. I know it's better to remain single, than settle for a toxic parter. I am holding out hope to finding a good woman in my life time. Great things come to those who wait.
Wow I'm listening your video with spanish audio. Is that a new UA-cam feature? Anyways I'm glad that I can share your videos with spanish speakers, your insights are very valuable. Greetings from Peru
Wow!! She was 10/10 on your examples. I stuck thru cuz she has heart issue but in end had to look out for myself. She will find other help from other men like she said many times.#8 Always had guy friends in the loop, went online found herself a sugar daddy cuz she in entitled and I couldn’t pay for the things she wanted . I did everything for her but was never enough for her. Manipulated, micro managed my time, my eyes were open but stuck thru cuz her health and struggle. Took advantage of my empathy. Discarded me as soon as I was worn out and needed time for myself. I walked away. Relationships are 2 way street. Too many details to list but there’s one for every # you mentioned
1) Saved the drama for her bf (YOU) 2) Control freak 3) Me me me 4) For the streets 5) Mental health/Addiction issues untreated 6) Gold digger / Sugar baby 7) Chronic victim 8) Attention seeker 9) Dependant/Insecure 10) Hot & cold / push-pull
Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective digitalinvestigate@gmail. com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.
I appreciate you, but why would I ask a fish how to catch more fish?I love being single.I'm glad I've never gotten married or had any kids and I've made it to 45 years of age.I'm happy I'm independent and I'm free, but you're videos.Entertaining, quite hilarious.Thank you for sharing!!!!😂😂😂
The first thing a man should look at in a relationship is her mother. If she has a bad relationship with her mother, then that is a red flag 🚩 to leave her right away.
I’m coming to grips with the reality of reactive abuse. After finding years' worth of betrayal-evidence of my wife’s affairs stretching back over a decade-I lost my cool, which landed me in jail. As much as that hurt, these 30 days of separation have brought me a strange sense of peace. Being away has made me see her manipulation clearly, the way she kicks people when they’re down, the way she’s turned that cruelty on me now. She’s likely waiting for me to come back, ready to restart her cycle of control and deceit. But I’m done. I don’t need to fight for my things or step back into her prison. Maybe it’s best to let it all go, to walk away for good. This separation may have saved me, forced me to break free from her grasp. I see her for who she is now, and I’m choosing to move forward without her.
Sounds like you are doing the correct thing by staying away from her. You've recognised the cycle of her abuse. How did you find out about the affairs btw?
@@sphenoidjjj Having shared access to her phone, I was able to go in settings, accounts, and backup and restore all messages. I was able to see the entirety of the text thread.
…i was with someone who had 8 out of these 10 red flags 🤯 I cried out to God and He freed me from that nightmare and healed me emotionally and psychologically from the trauma it caused me.
Thank you for your videos Lise they really helped me recover from my previous relationship. Now I am meeting women again, it would be great if you could make a video like “10 questions to ask when dating to uncover a covert narcissist” Then also state the typical good and bad answers. Thanks for all you do. 🙏🏻
Your video “Ten Signs You Are In A Narcissist Relationship”, truly opened my eyes. I watched it because in my “relationship”, I had been accused of being a narcissistic. You helped me realize that I had ascribed vaguely to two of those characteristics. By the time I had finished the video you had completely described the entirety of my treatment during that period.
It’s crazy how I’m noticing the push pull dynamic from my younger niece in how she manipulates her family members. Something tells me some of these behaviors have a genetic trait to them.
You're describing my relationship 46 years off and on it wasn't till the last 7 years as co-owners of a house to fix up and sell ended up being about with a covert narcissist roommate ex-wife educating myself to the max save my life people like you explaining it's too late by the time we start listening but we learn 19 months no contact my adult son is just like her
Wow, you are good…. being 72, I have tried some of types. Not being perfect myself 😊 I have experienced how my unconsciousness leads me to women I should have avoided. But I am married to a Unicorn now 😂
My ex was easily 5 or 6 of these. Unfortunately I fell for the bs that her exs had hurt her and this was the reason for her behaviour. I couldn't fix her but she certainly broke me. Walk away.
@@JohnSmith-wo7ns yeah, you want to help them but if it hurts you, it’s not worth it. I tried and it emotionally wrecked me. I feel conflicted about feeling bad for her. She chose pride and ego over being with me
@Karll541 they start with lies about their exs, we want to show her not all men are bad so try to fix her. Its impossible! They aren't interested in a loving supportive relationship. They're looking to control and manipulate. They're offered all the love in the world but it's never enough. Impossible.
True indeed, I've experienced it. I've been blocked for a month now but she call me. 5 years roller coaster ride and just learned about BPD six months ago. I lost myself.
Towards the end she mentions mixed signals. Anything less than enthusiasm, just walk. If she wants to be with you, she will make it obvious. Wife material will be easy to deal with and drama free. Any games, drama, pettiness, jealousy, keep it moving or fun only.
"when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time".
-Maya Angelou
My ex used this on me as a projection of herself.
every woman will show some traits of these personality types to a certain degree.
This is so true when we thing back our gutts told us something was wrong quite intensely. But we brush it aside.
So true! I wasted a year of my life with jms after she told me she 'had no emotional intelligence' - and she didn't! Should have listened - believe the avoidants when they say something!
Talking it out, might work... It depends on how well you can communicate with each other. If it's more work than it's worth, MOVE ON! I believe people CAN change if it's for the right reasons and it's WORTH IT... Be AUTHENTIC! Then you're not playing the other person, and you know your WORTH! Never lose YOUR VALUE! Some people just aren't worth your time!
To make it easy: don't listen to what women say, judge them by what they do.
*One of the biggest red flags is a woman who’s constantly negative or critical - it drains your energy and impacts your confidence. Surround yourself with people who uplift you and support your growth, not those who bring constant drama!*
That's also a red flag for me as well. Or the need to compare me to an Ex right off the bat on a first date. Thats a huge F-NO! Flag for me lol. It may seem like a compliment to say "you're not like my other ex." But there's a underlying toxic mentality in that person just barely hitting the surface in a subtle way.
My mother
Men, if you want to overcome the struggle put it in perspective (this has helped me)… You want a woman that respects you more than she loves you. If she respects you, she will show her love and always remain in line. If she doesn’t respect you, just walk away. Give up on the idea of romantic love and you will save yourself a lot of time and energy. You will also attract a more suitable partner as you will sniff the bs out much quicker. Know thyself
With my 74 years of living behind me I think I can honestly say you hit every woman in the world in one way or another.
Now isn’t that a sad state of affairs? 🤷♂️
@@DrRock2009Yep 🤷♂️
nice
Yupperoni
😂
Man, I feel so lucky to have found one without any of these traits in excess... She even calls out herself on her bad behaviours sometimes without me having to say anything. And it happens like 5-10% of the time we're interacting. Truly a keeper...
Your work is phenomenal! It helped me to identify a covert narcissistic women that I've been dating. It saved me from so much trouble.
This is factual. It help me a lot too. Very grateful.
She helped me immensely as well. She is factual, honest and cuts to the chase.
You just described every woman. I'll stay single thanks.
I was about to write that before I saw your comment. 😂
Pretty much
Peace of mind is more important than finding a partner. Better to be single and content than unhappy in a relationship, All said and done, it is ultimately ourselves that we have to live with.
This ☝
Thankyou...been with everyone of them..thought i was going insane...
Here are mine condensed to four. Works 100%
4.) Lacks self-curiosity and interest in personal growth, and enjoys talking smack about others. Why look at yourself when other people are always the problem?
3. Poor interpersonal boundaries. Their own and for you. Do they push your boundaries? If they do, can they accept "no" without projecting FOGS on you, even subtly? (FOGS: Fear, Obligation, Guilt, Shame). Women test instinctively. It's expected, but a sane one will respect you more for having firm boundaries. If you don't understand what boundaries are, learn, and be sure you actually have them, no matter how hot she is. Do you say "no", when you know that "no" is the right answer for you?
2. Flakiness - Unreliable, inconsistent, full of excuses, lies, blames others, the world, friends, their boss, planetary alignments, and you for whatever makes them feel bad, which leads us to #1
1. Lack of accountability - Nothing is ever their fault
This combo gets you someone, who is unreliable, refuses to own their own sh!t, and invites you to own it for them. If you accept the challenge and choose to play their game, welcome to Cluster B personality disorder hell. The choice is your's. Choose wisely. You get what you let.
Well written. I wish I'd seen all these videos and your comment before The Demon.
Hang on, thats all women, can you narrow it down a bit please
Facts sad in 2024 with most women are like this
This applies to all genders. I’ve experienced all points you have outlined, with men.
@@mukesh.dhimar we never know this things, before it happens to us. That you are here now, to learn and to grow is a direct consequence of what happend. 1 year ago, it happend to me and i invested all my time, in becoming my best version. Ive met someone like this again, 6 weeks ago and it did not catch me anymore. Become the man you want to see next to the woman you want to be with
I listen to your videos and I just nod my head up and down and keep saying "Yep, Yep, Yep, definitely, big time!!" Thanks for your work, there's plenty of us out there. Mine was 30 years ago and I am still haunted by that woman in my heart.
I've got myself a micro-manager
As a man fresh into his forties, I value my peace & quiet and no longer have any interest in getting involved with another toxic woman again.
And regarding toxic exes: Never play with trash once it's in the garbage. Let the garbage men deal with it.
Heh heh, that’s a good one to remember l! Thanks! 👍
Same story here. Peace freedom & quiet
Same.
Yes - there are lot of women who have mental health issues- So be careful to these women and - Search for a true God fearing woman and has humility and humbleness
Happy to have reached this place in my 20s :)
LOVE YOURSELF FIRST BEFORE LOVING ANOTHER .... be at the best for yourself ....
These are always so spot on. I see most or all of these things in virtually every woman I have ever dealt with, unfortunately. Good luck finding one that’s different gents.
I escaped a narcissist who was so entitled wanted a man to pay her bills for her, buy her luxury products, nearly killed me trying to please her, she idealised me then devalued me and discarded me, blamed me when I spoke up, shame as I really liked her until the entitlement came about. When you lead with your wallet you’re going to get burned. Since then I came across channels like this, learned about the DSM5 and about attachment theory, narcissism and co-dependency.
Leading with the wallet will always get one burned in the end.
@@sphenoidjjj thankfully I could see it coming but it was like the proverbial frog in the frying pan when someone slowly turns up the heat, sorry but I’m not paying anyone’s rent, maid, buy luxury
products for them, the new supply she got is though. I’m glad I got out and am rebuilding my sanity.
been there, glad not to be there anymore.
I've dated most of these types of women!!!! And have concluded, there are no normal women out there!!!! Have been single for 5+ years now, and love the peace I have in my home now!
Yes, my experience also. At least 50% are cluster B. It's archtypical and they have different brains and susceptible to emotional dysregulation. Men have issues too. Collectively it's why thecworld gone right wing, refusal to grow up.
Some of us ladies are good and still out here saying the same things. I just had this discussion with a male cousin of mine last night. It's too bad we non-disorded folks with integrity and kind hearts can't seem to find each other easier. 😢
@npkrn6764
Well said! 😊👍
The thing is, most of the good ones get snapped up when they're young... leaving fewer good matches and more bad ones.
Thank you so much for your expertise! Ex fit every single one of these, but im out of shawshank! Im Free!
I see why BPD is so critical, basically the ten types of women described here are the traits of a woman with BPD.
Yeah, or NPD. Same boat, different colour.
"if you want to keep your sanity" ... love it!
Great advice.
It’s her birthday today and I’m fighting myself to not call. It feels inhuman to share so much with someone then be forced to share nothing. What a sad state of affairs.
I hope you don't call her. It's not worth getting pulled back in, or disrespected, or toyed with in any way. I know exactly how you feel though. Good luck to you.
Do Not. Just remember how she treated you on other birthdays, maybe even hers. Always contempt and cruelty.
Don't call her. I totally understand what you feel, but it's better to keep the distance. I passed the same a few months ago, and I still I'm struggling with this (even with no contact). Be strong and think in yourself. You will be better with the time.
Don't get confused with how you feel & the way someone makes/made you feel.. Your not missing her, your missing how YOU felt around her.. Don't do it, stay strong brother 🤙
It is not a about what
YOU FEEL FOR HER, It is about
HOW SHE MADE AND MAKES YOU FEEL.
Please, take it from an expert.
Let her go.
Lise, thank you for creating these videos. It’s been nearly three years for me now, and while I’ve come a long way, there are still moments when I experience periods of anxiety tied to the difficult times I had with my ex who has BPD. As a physician, I recognized early during the relationship that she met the criteria for BPD and also NPD traits, yet, unfortunately for reasons such as codependency, I continued the relationship. It lasted two years and was marked by multiple instances of being discarded by her until I took the step to finish the relationship . Your videos have been invaluable in my healing process, and I often revisit them whenever I feel myself slipping back into old feelings. Thank you again for your support and insights.
These are the best cutscenes ever. Props to whoever edits your vids
The key phase i heard from this "be honest with yourself"
Amazing video A month ago, my partnership of five years came to an end. The choice to break up with the person I love is something that really gets to me. Even though it's all for nothing, I've done everything I can to get him back, and I couldn't imagine my existence without him. I've tried everything to stop thinking about him, but I still can't help but miss him and think about him often. I don't know why I am saying this here.
Saying goodbye to someone you love is difficult; I know this from my 12-year relationship ending. But I was unable to simply let him go, so I made every effort to get him back. I eventually sought aid from a spiritual counselor, who was able to help me regain his affection.
It's interesting! How can I contact a spiritual counselor most efficiently, and how did you find one?
Father Obah Eze is a wonderful spiritual counselor who has the ability to bring back your ex.
He can assist you; he is Father Obah Eze, and he possesses immense powers.
I just sought him up online thanks to your helpful information. remarkable
I just checked Father Obah Eze online, and he's really genuine. Thank you again ❤
Everytime I listen to you... it's like a revelation... like you were there when I was going through the tides... I at first loved the challenge.. you know maybe I can change her...maybe she need a good man .. one who can make her forget all the "animals" that hurt her... bro save your life... be that nice to yourself...#Properreigns
My ex-wife was almost all of the women described here. If only I'd seen Lise's videos earlier, I might not have thrown 20 years of my life away. I eventually broke free but only when my daughter was grown up. I stayed because I wanted her to have a father. Breaking away is brutal, though. I'm 68 and still in pain. These videos help me to understand that I wasn't crazy, and that I did the right thing in the end in spite of all the suffering.
Yup! How many good men put up with a covert narcissist and their daughters don't even know the personal sacrifice they endured to avoid being a 'step door dad' an undeserved fate of so many good men. Stay 💪 strong. There is a silent majority out there sharing your pain.
@BubbaWhite-indie You are right, my daughter will never know what I endured. Mostly because I would never say anything against her mother in front of her. And for good reason because she loves her mother just as we all did. It would be wrong to drag my daughter onto the battlefield. As husbands and fathers we have to be stoic and suffer in silence. That's why I appreciate the work Lise is doing. It validates everything that went on in our lives. The confusion, the loneliness, the sheer heartlessness of it all. It's telling, though, that my daughter, who is now 20 years old, has chosen to live with me in my little two room apartment, rather than in the family home she grew up in which is occupied solo by my ex- wife. And not through any prompting on my side. She made this choice all on her own.
@@lesilluminations1this is amazing. Although you didn't say anything to her, she knows. Your daughter knows!
Exactly my own experience, practically word for word!
❤@@lesilluminations1
Very good.
As a woman who wants the best for the men & boys of the world, I approve this video!
Wow, this was an absolutely fantastic run down of what can potentially be experienced. Concise, accurate, well explained. Thank you Lise! it's rare to find such straight forward, no filler relationship related info online lately with all the click bait, viral wording and drawn out length. Much appreciated!
Thank you, because it's been crazy trying to help myself. Hard to feel supported after the trauma gets you to believe otherwise.
Purely platonic relationship between man and woman is not just rare, it's rare like 1% of all relationship. There's always the underlying intention, whoever is saying the opposite is eighter ignorant or haven't seen enough of life. Thanks for the great work Lise!
I have many female friends I have no sexual interest in. I only find a few women sexually attractive and have no desire to involve myself with women I'm not attracted to. I guess there could be some attraction the other way around with some of them, and generally I find men better company and more interesting, but I only wish I found so many women attractive that it was hard just being friends with the vast majority of them.
@@jakelesnake4927 the attraction goes at least one way, this is the point of the problem... it doesnt need to go both ways for there to be a real problem, as long as one of the friends finds the other attractive, then is a problem if youre in a relationship, youre partner will not like it.
Oh my goodness . You’ve nailed it young lady .
Great message Lise. This is like the Bible of when to run. Hope you are well. Love from Australia 🇦🇺
What I learned today:
1. Confirmation for red flags that I noticed, with some new connections this year.
2. When a romantic interest is actively not making time to communicate adequately, often making excuses to not show up with fair effort for connection. Run! Quickly, and moved forward towards a future woman that is ready to commit. 😮💨
3. A whole lot more, but I'll stop here.
#RecoveringHeart from Inconsistent people.
#Learn&Grow
#NoRepeats
Hey Lise, I know your content is primarily aimed at men, but as a young woman who watches your videos, I just want to say thank you. I recently broke up with my malignant narcissist boyfriend, and although I know I made the right choice, it’s been challenging. The emotional and verbal abuse, and even the beginnings of physical abuse, were taking a toll on my well-being, leaving me with anxiety, depression, and constant self-doubt. I kept asking myself, “What did I do wrong? Why is he being so cold and distant?” and “What happened to the seemingly sweet man I started to fall for?”
Your videos have been a much-needed reminder that it wasn’t anything I said or did. This is just how they treat people once the lovebombing fades and you’re no longer the shiny new object. Thank you for helping me see things clearly.
❤
I appreciate everything you've uploaded! You've helped me to identify I was with a pretty narcissistic woman and you helped me get out of that! Thank you for what you do!!!
This is a hard one. I think everyone falls into at least one of these categories.
Great video! Thank you for confirming my decision to walk away from a very toxic relationship a little over a year ago. Admittedly I let my guard down and ignored many red flags in the beginning. She was 1, 4, 8, and 10 of your list.
There's no women left after that rundown !
Lol!
Lol I sort of thought the same thing.
I think the key is to find someone who is actively working on their issues or to heal yourself so well that women with toxic traits aren't even attractive to you anymore.
I thought my ex was a 10/10 - this brings a whole new perspective to that expression!
Thank you for this. Recent relationship had all these traits. Currently getting out now and its difficult. Feels like your personally talking about my relationship lol
Really useful video. thank you. We all try to see the good in others when dating, however avoiding being ensnared with these types is the classic "an ounce of prevention is worth a TON of cure."
and then there are combinations of the above, insecurity and criticism of others go hand in hand, or she can be helpful in a real crisis, then expects you to put the same effort into her self inflicted crises, "tempests in a teapot", the permutations are endless, if you are a together guy, who loves who he is and what he does, look for the same, the best woman is the one that doesn't need you, and knows exactly why she wants you.
This is the best video on UA-cam that every good man should hear, see and watch 🎉 Thank You for your time. Blessings From Linden Michigan 🎉❤😊
In my experience, this list rules out dating women
OMG you showed the crazy hot scale video!
The problem is when you have a toxic mother. That is very hard.
amazing video, it says it all! great work
Thanks Lisa, very educational. I had no idea how many different types of mental case women there are. I have up-close-and personal experience and thank God that she wasn't even a girlfriend. Talking about dodging bullets... I think the most dangerous types are the ones who are undiagnosed and think they are normal. Thanks for the video!!!
This was actually totally based, thank you. subscribed
What you need in a relationship is love, respect and communication from both. Otherwise it won't work and isn't likely worth it.
Lise you are amazing. Love your videos. Keep up the great work!
They always have
' friends ' on call🎉
I love the unicorn 🦄 guy! 🙌🏻
Great video Lisa !! Thank you for your help here ! Great perspectives and real world examples of how us men can get ourselves completely upside down in a relationship.....right !! Having the inverse expectations of a significant other completely out of phase while we men think where in phase with our significant others and trying to manage, groom and grow a well footed relationship that's already set up for failure from the start. You have identified the barometer of toxic relationships, spousal manipulation, relationship unhappiness and abuse......You have really brought to light facts and traits that all victims of human trafficking share in. People are unpredictable enough but I think your analysis and video presentation goes farther and certainly deeper to help us men recognize and identify the "signs along the way" that cohesive and manipulative people use as a means for there own personal gain climbing on the shoulders of the ones they " love " . I call this the " fertility of a narcissist and seeds sewn to make the perfect victims for narcissists to feed from. Thanks again and keep it coming! Us men can be nieve !
Great video. Took me many years to learn just a portion of this.
Without communication. there is no relationship.
Without respect, there is no love.
Without trust, there is no reason to continue.
Brilliant this.
@@mukesh.dhimar That's what I thought. Wish had wrote it. Author unknown to me.
@@katray7452 It's OK though. You're spreading it. Thank you.
Very good description. 100% truth, only problem is, that you see all these "traits" when you live with her - or better said to late.
Absolutely! I wouldn't advocate living with someone before tying the knot buuut it might give you a little bit more insight before going 'legal' which essential what marriage is.
2:56 "capture it safely" lol
Thank you so much for the work you do!
I'm about 8 years out and in a good place these days. Some therapy, many books, videos like yours, and determination to recognize the red flags have set me free.
Guys, listen and embrace what Lisa is sharing with the world and get out.
Lisa, your inner and outer beauty are amazing!
Thanks from Texas, Eric ✌️ n ❤
ABSOLUTELY TRUE.
I deeply value your insight and what you offer. I've learned so much from you and have avoided several toxic women in my dating life. I know it's better to remain single, than settle for a toxic parter. I am holding out hope to finding a good woman in my life time. Great things come to those who wait.
Wow I'm listening your video with spanish audio. Is that a new UA-cam feature? Anyways I'm glad that I can share your videos with spanish speakers, your insights are very valuable. Greetings from Peru
Wow!! She was 10/10 on your examples. I stuck thru cuz she has heart issue but in end had to look out for myself. She will find other help from other men like she said many times.#8 Always had guy friends in the loop, went online found herself a sugar daddy cuz she in entitled and I couldn’t pay for the things she wanted . I did everything for her but was never enough for her. Manipulated, micro managed my time, my eyes were open but stuck thru cuz her health and struggle. Took advantage of my empathy. Discarded me as soon as I was worn out and needed time for myself. I walked away. Relationships are 2 way street. Too many details to list but there’s one for every # you mentioned
1) Saved the drama for her bf (YOU)
2) Control freak
3) Me me me
4) For the streets
5) Mental health/Addiction issues untreated
6) Gold digger / Sugar baby
7) Chronic victim
8) Attention seeker
9) Dependant/Insecure
10) Hot & cold / push-pull
Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective digitalinvestigate@gmail. com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.
Great list! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for your work to support and equip men, Lisa. I feel your heart to help and your compassion.
Cool, you have Yggdrasil on your wall 😀🧡
Good analysis. Although, by the time that you are aware you are with one of the "10 types," it is too late. She will devour your soul. 😈
I appreciate you, but why would I ask a fish how to catch more fish?I love being single.I'm glad I've never gotten married or had any kids and I've made it to 45 years of age.I'm happy I'm independent and I'm free, but you're videos.Entertaining, quite hilarious.Thank you for sharing!!!!😂😂😂
This no fluff video, should be memorized by all men. It can save lives
Like the tree of life behind you! 🙌🏻
The first thing a man should look at in a relationship is her mother. If she has a bad relationship with her mother, then that is a red flag 🚩 to leave her right away.
💭
Some say the same about a woman's relationship with her father.
Where do we find a woman that isn't at least one of these?
In the1950's??
Yeah, I feel like if you're dealing with less than 3 of these issues, you're probably doing better than the majority of us.
@@LastEarBenderyeah it’s always spectrum. For me personally, only 2 would be great as long as it’s not too severe
Fairytale novels.
North Korea
I’m coming to grips with the reality of reactive abuse. After finding years' worth of betrayal-evidence of my wife’s affairs stretching back over a decade-I lost my cool, which landed me in jail. As much as that hurt, these 30 days of separation have brought me a strange sense of peace. Being away has made me see her manipulation clearly, the way she kicks people when they’re down, the way she’s turned that cruelty on me now. She’s likely waiting for me to come back, ready to restart her cycle of control and deceit.
But I’m done. I don’t need to fight for my things or step back into her prison. Maybe it’s best to let it all go, to walk away for good. This separation may have saved me, forced me to break free from her grasp. I see her for who she is now, and I’m choosing to move forward without her.
Sounds like you are doing the correct thing by staying away from her. You've recognised the cycle of her abuse. How did you find out about the affairs btw?
Well done brother 🔥
Next time it will be more than 30 days - AVOID at all costs.
Sometimes time away makes you see things much clearly. Stay strong.
@@sphenoidjjj Having shared access to her phone, I was able to go in settings, accounts, and backup and restore all messages. I was able to see the entirety of the text thread.
Really good material as always. Thank you :)
…i was with someone who had 8 out of these 10 red flags 🤯
I cried out to God and He freed me from that nightmare and healed me emotionally and psychologically from the trauma it caused me.
Bullseye. Remarkably helpful. Thank you
Thank you for your positive feedback!
Blessed be dear Lady 🌞
The graph guy is the BEST! classic :) lol.
Thank you for your videos Lise they really helped me recover from my previous relationship. Now I am meeting women again, it would be great if you could make a video like “10 questions to ask when dating to uncover a covert narcissist” Then also state the typical good and bad answers. Thanks for all you do. 🙏🏻
Your video “Ten Signs You Are In A Narcissist Relationship”, truly opened my eyes.
I watched it because in my “relationship”, I had been accused of being a narcissistic. You helped me realize that I had ascribed vaguely to two of those characteristics. By the time I had finished the video you had completely described the entirety of my treatment during that period.
I learned the hard way twice that “victim” types in need of rescue are always sociopathic narcissists.
OK, so you described most single women I meet. Where I can meet the healthy ones who are not in LTR?
all of these describe borderline personality disorder. i learned it the hard way
No problem, most avoid me.
Nice work Lisa
its nice to see you smile with some of the crazy video inserts! :-)
It’s crazy how I’m noticing the push pull dynamic from my younger niece in how she manipulates her family members. Something tells me some of these behaviors have a genetic trait to them.
I've thought so too!
You're describing my relationship 46 years off and on it wasn't till the last 7 years as co-owners of a house to fix up and sell ended up being about with a covert narcissist roommate ex-wife educating myself to the max save my life people like you explaining it's too late by the time we start listening but we learn 19 months no contact my adult son is just like her
Love this talk! Great information!
Thanks so much!
Option #11 The narcissistic type of woman which includes options 1 through 10 in which they meet all criteria!!!
Wow, you are good…. being 72, I have tried some of types. Not being perfect myself 😊 I have experienced how my unconsciousness leads
me to women I should have avoided. But I am married to a Unicorn now 😂
My ex was easily 5 or 6 of these. Unfortunately I fell for the bs that her exs had hurt her and this was the reason for her behaviour. I couldn't fix her but she certainly broke me. Walk away.
@@JohnSmith-wo7ns yeah, you want to help them but if it hurts you, it’s not worth it. I tried and it emotionally wrecked me. I feel conflicted about feeling bad for her. She chose pride and ego over being with me
@Karll541 they start with lies about their exs, we want to show her not all men are bad so try to fix her. Its impossible! They aren't interested in a loving supportive relationship. They're looking to control and manipulate. They're offered all the love in the world but it's never enough. Impossible.
True indeed, I've experienced it. I've been blocked for a month now but she call me. 5 years roller coaster ride and just learned about BPD six months ago. I lost myself.
@isolamii it's so difficult but try to stay away.
Towards the end she mentions mixed signals. Anything less than enthusiasm, just walk. If she wants to be with you, she will make it obvious. Wife material will be easy to deal with and drama free. Any games, drama, pettiness, jealousy, keep it moving or fun only.
According to this video, my wife is a 8/10.
Only if I could watch this video 5 years earlier...
Thank you for your work Lise
All my exes and dates had 3 or 4 of the types mentioned here. Striking but I'm much more happy being single than being in a relationship.