7 Things Narcissists Do When They're Alone
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- Опубліковано 16 тра 2024
- From social media obsession to scheming strategies, discover 7 behaviours that narcissists engage in behind the scenes.
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If you have thoughts about harming yourself, get help right away by taking one of these actions:
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Introduction (0:00)
Supply is Like Oxygen (1:15)
#1: Self-Admiration (2:30)
#2 Social Media (3:18)
#3: Plan & Scheme (4:59)
#4: Ruminating (7:19)
#5: Triangulation (8:20)
#6: Recklessness & Impulsivity (9:27)
#7: Hoovering (9:59)
What They AREN'T Doing (11:12)
#NPD #covertnarcissist #narcissist #narcissism #narcissistic #narcissists
They also snoop and go through your stuff when you are not home looking for evidence or things they can use against you in the future
True!
I guess that can fall under the ''scheming'' category
Yup, my mother did that before I went no contact.
I dono if either of mine did that or not my mom maybe my husband I’m not sure but I feel I fell into doing that often bc I was always trying to sort what was real or true from all the lies I was told constantly 🤦🏽♀️
@@thelight1385
Likely just because they get off on the power rush in the moment, and/or feel paranoid... either they realise the use of that data later or even engage in truly machiavellian manipulative behavior in the first place. Depends on their personality. And It's very creepy and unhealthy either way. Be careful and take care of yourself
Yes they do r😅amble through your stuff for fuel for future arguements and make up some stupid story then say you are a great story teller - wtf
It sounds like the narcissist constantly searches for ATTENTION, ATTENTION, ATTENTION.....
they're able to hold lifetime grudges and belittling memories of others
Yes and raise issues they had with you years ago, decades but never raised with you at the time.
Omg you couldn’t be MORE CORRECT. My mil talks about stuff when she was a kid, she’s 74! She talks behind everyone’s back, trashed everyone, even the family members she leeches off of. They’re all aholes but her sibs provide for her. I have cut her off. She’s entitled, lazy, always the victim, fake, a huge liar and will never admit she’s wrong or apologize. I’m done. Poor husband hasn’t hit the wall yet. He’s starting to see things because she made a mistake and came for me. She has abused him his whole life, he’s used to it, but she crossed a line with his wife, me, I’m hoping he realizes sooner than later.
Take them up on those grudges and never speak to them ever again 😂
It took me about 30 seconds of listening to this video 2 acknowledge how awesome being happily single is.
Wouldn’t u like someone to enjoy what life brings?? I caught a big bass once by myself. Nobody to share the experience with. So empty a feeling. 🥲🍼🍔
@Mister8Music 😆😃. You got THAT right. 😄
I listen to the stories shared with Richard Cooper on The Unplugged Alfa. I feel for men in the dating pool. I understand. I empathize.
I love being single & alone...I will never be married or may nevrt date again.
Thank you.😮
Did you get my message and or question?😮
Covert narcissist is the worst of all. Everything what's said in this video they will do on covert way. They will search for supply but not openly, so it will not look like they are searching for it. Usually they look like innocent, sweet, little victims.
I hate her her now fr
Well said. 👍
It's happening to me now😢
Being a narcissist seems like a "full-time" job. Seems to be very emotionally draining. Torment.
It's a full time career chasing false ego validation.
A lifetime of illusion and despair oozing toxicity.
What a life?
@anth-nyl Very interesting. Are you narcissistic too? With due respect.
@anth-nyl Nothing about this video should make you insecure in yourself if you take a moment to differentiate between NPD and being narcissistic to a normal degree. Everyone is narcissistic or ego, without it we wouldnt survive as a species as we have done, let alone conquered the world. That doesnt make this video dumb, you just gotta watch it with the right amount of understanding of what actually is being said. If you're a normal person, then doing these things the way normal people do, with normal people's intensity and motive is totally fine. Having NPD is different from being a normal level narcissist/egocentric.
@@Bibleinformationandhelp The victims of narcissists are the ones living in true hell. I lived with a female covert narcissist, Im still damaged after 6 years of being free. She? Living a good life with a high education, good salary and a new partner since a few years. She might not be fully happy, but what she and her kind do to others is 10 times as harmful as to what they do to themselves.
What drains a narc's target energizes the narc.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her
Sorry to read this Cheng. It is a deep, deep painful experience to lose t 'love of your life'. Especially our first love. Better u know now, that you are not the love of her life. Time is your friend with a lost love. Work on yourself. Learn a language, musical instrument, gym, etc to turn focus from depressing thoughts. U got this Cheng, u will b ok. 🫂
@@woody4269Relax, it's just spam.
I'm curious why you're watching this video. Because if your partner is a narcissist, you were doomed to be hurt emotionally eventually.
@@cyndimoring9389exactly what I was thinking.
@@cyndimoring9389 that’s not a very compassionate thing for you to say to somebody especially since you have no clue the situation why do that ?
Oh oh oh ✋, I know what they’re not doing …self reflection.
Almost nobody does any serious self reflection and this probably includes you. When was the last time you ever seriously analyzed your own beliefs and values and how you might be wrong about them
@@carsonlantz6293bro i did that like 3 days ago most ppl do it 🥴
@@carsonlantz6293 speak for yourself. You're in the minority if you don't self-reflect your own behavior, it's affect on those around you, and how to improve yourself and be a better person. Normal people do this st sone level every day. Narcissists are incapable of such positive and self-caring and improving behavior.
@@joshuamacer777 I sure see a lot of arrogant opinions and not a whole lot of personality and value changes from people for that to be the case. Like for example people who think they can psychoanalyze everyone around them and judge their value as human beings because of youtube videos.
100%
Drink, do drugs, send nasty texts, over eat, watch porn, send messages on dating apps, play out hero/ victim fantasies in their minds… never a dull moment for miserable narcissists 😢
That actually sounds like fun.
How could someone know that.
Wow ur naming everything she use to do, I never thought any of it was true before
Sorry, it must be a ruff life.
@@conanmn2381 nah it’s a good one I’m at peace they aren’t I’m more worried about them
Criticism can be like acid to some narcissists.
@anth-nyl We shouldn't have to walk on egg shells around either type of person.
@anth-nyl Are you saying many narracists aren't insecure?
Wonderful!!!
@@Bibleinformationandhelp Certainly people with this personality disorder are profoundly "insecure".
But a Narcissist & a Covert Narcissist will NEVER reveal the slightest indication of their insecurities. May God help the person who exposes them. The inexperienced & unaware will always become entangled in their malicious & sadistic web.
Respectfully,
Ben
I'd say to all of them. 😅
1. Self admiration
2.social media
3. Plan and scheme
4. ruminating
5. Triangulating
6. reckless behavior
7. Hoovering
7. Not facing reality- maintain delusional fantasies
thanks for posting the list. the video is a bit long-winded and repetitive. Why are there 2 number 7's tho?
1 masturbation
I was just about to comment exactly what you already have here. Spot on. Our stories are almost all 100% alike. We know.
Juvenile or no sense of humor… narcissistic people are never really funny people; just noxious.
@anth-nyl 7 things someone does to convince others that someone is a "narcissist".....
1. Manipulate
2. Brainwash
3. Rebuttals
4. Manipulate
5. Brainwash
6. Rebuttals
7. Repeat
Excessive shopping, not paying their bills cos theyve no money left. Creating chaos they somehow arent at fault for. 🤯
👏👏👏
Excessive anything...
In my case, it's courses!
Or rather in my wife's case...
Every day of the week, including the weekend.
She works and earns money, and then spends it all, on herself! Photography, painting, sewing, self-defence, swimming, aerobics, astronomy... The list is endless...
And there are probably many, many others, I have no idea she attended...
Oh, did I mention languages? Japanese, Chinese, Spanish...
After she pays for all of the above, there is no money left for her to chip in to our monthly bills... The electricity bill, the gas bill, the water bill, the school of our kids. I have to pay for all of it... Because she only thinks of her needs.
I do not count. The kids don't count.
I have never heard of a course addiction...
But my wife certainly has one!
But there is a positive to all this... :) She is at home, less.
She only comes home, to sleep.
It's enough for me to avoid her in the morning, before she goes off somewhere... and then again, in the evening...
And if we do not talk to each other, we fight less... Yes, sometimes she comes and attacks me out of the blue, but it's not every day. There ARE quiet days... Peaceful days. Days, when we do not fight... all thanks to her courses. :)
Or maybe she has a boyfriend somewhere? Or a girlfriend? It doesn't matter if it's courses or friends... As long as she is out, and not hurting me.
@MS-yf9dw I hear you. My ex would enroll do this from time to time. It would have been more useful for her to get a job, but she was too lazy, unreliable and selfish. I understand your appreciation of the peace, and to avoid seeing her. Eventually you will probably ask yourself why you put up with it. My ex just took, never gave me anything, I came to thinking I deserve more. Even though I'm single now, I'm not being used and drained by her total inconsiderate nature. They are incapable of loving supportive loyal relationships.
This is spot on
@@MS-yf9dwyou really need to be more supportive of your wife.
Just ignore them at all costs. Drive them insane. 😂
💯% Accurate ✔️
Farting helps too
LOLLOL LOL I really needed a laugh. Thanks for that.@@matthewishunting
I ignore them to protect my sanity and pray for them from a distance. I know they're on a spectrum. But, some of them are really wicked and extremely dangerous. People have lost their lives trying to live, interact and remain in relationship with them. NO CONTACT is my go to!!!
You're honestly evil
It's sad that narcissists when they were very young, never got the chance to properly grow and develop their emotional abilities; they will always be a (sometimes very mean) toddler in a grown body...
Not true they had plenty of opportunities to change but kept lying and playing victim because it made their lives “easier” and saw no reason to change.
Plenty of people have gone thru childhood traumas and it didn’t let it get to them and made a better person of themselves.
Saying what you said is enabling them and in fact letting them get away with it, therefore making the narc think it’s okay to keep doing what they are doing.
Mean toddler in a grown up body is an excellent summation, as one of their traits is “low emotional intelligence.”
Disagree. It’s sad that they choose to remain immature instead of taking on the painful challenges of adulthood.
It’s humbling to say “I was wrong - I’m sorry and it won’t happen again”, but we grow from it. The narcissist refuses.
OMG, SOOO MEAN!
@@debracline912 They sure are. 😢
I wish I would have known about all this 40 yrs ago, would have saved me a lot of pain and the destruction of my soul !!!!
They hate to be alone!❤
Or in quietness!!
Yes they do, they’re always looking for somewhere to go where they’ll get company, they don’t care if they push themselves on people either.. so selfish, all about them.
@user-kf3yz7so6q that's for sure! They push themselves on people...too much!
I love being alone and I don't particularly like going out. People annoy me.
@@lex_hayesare you a narcissist?
Totally accurate on all points! You can’t even gently disagree with them! It’s always NO, you’re wrong,I’m right. The manipulation and scheming,conniving is unbelievable.,
I know what you mean when I was just realizing that my ex was a narcissist I had never seen anything like it before. Everything in her entire life was always someone else’s fault and she was convinced her parents and her own children somehow had some pact to try and break her mentally.
It was unreal to witness how much animosity and hatred she had for her whole family and called all of her friends energy vampires that only wanted to use her to somehow better themselves.
Not only she never own up to anything that she done in our relationship she tried to recreate my reality saying she was the only reason I had anything and had a great job, great relationship with my son and family.
It didn’t matter what I would say because she tried manipulating me and tell me that my son hated and and she had to talk to him to save the bond we had.
When I left I not only not know if anything that we ever shared was real, but I hated myself on some level because I started thinking I was going crazy and she was yelling the truth.
She destroyed every momento from past relationships and from my childhood, including any photographs she could find.
In the end she had multiple affairs that I was able to discover and had evidence and she acted like I was fabricating it to hide my guilt for not being the person I was in the beginning. I have no clue how many guys it was but she showed no remorse and even acted amused that I was upset. I lost personal items that can’t ever be replicated and over $20,000 in debt from her falsifying my identity and called my parents to tell them I was beating her and addicted to drugs.
I went into isolation for almost 2 years and just became a mindless drone that just went to work and paid bills I couldn’t make eye contact with anyone.
Yes they are master manipulators but I didn't think they needed to actually think about it. I thought it was like a reflex. I just can't imagine sitting there consciously planning how to manipulate people. The covert narc I knew was controlling everything and everyone all the time. How exhausting.
PLEASE address The Covert Narcissist.
People with this psychological disorder are very dangerous.
Thank you for your consideration.
Ben
Very dangerous indeed
@@keirmathur8623 THANKS for your succinct & accurate reply. 🙂
Please allow me to explain my experience.
I was unwittingly, expertly & cunningly seduced into a relationship with a sincerely evil, Covert Narcissist. It lasted for 7 torturous years. To "physically" escape this woman, I am now literally on the other side of the planet from her. She remains in Turkey & I'm now living in Mexico. Emotionally, she's still too near.
Never-the-less, research indicates a disturbingly high percentage of their "victims" see their only means of escape as suicide. So, I count myself fortunate. Because during the last year or two of our tumultuous relationship, I considered suicide as an "escape" option as well. We worked together in the same school. So, it was impossible to avoid her.
This horrible experience left me with (professionally diagnosed) PTSD. After these past 4 years, I am finally recovering & feeling my PTSD symptoms are fading. Even-so, the emotional scars remain & trusting "humans" will never be easy for me.
Interestingly, Narcissism & Covert Narcissism are two psychological disorders that psychiatrists may attempt to treat...BUT...they rarely...if ever...achieve any success with these patients.
Mainly because when the "treatment sessions" begin to access the cause(s) for either of these 2 personality disorders, the patient will inevitably become overly defensive, verbally abusive, etc. to the doctor//psychiatrist. The Narcissist Patient will eventually stop coming to their therapy sessions & terminate treatment. Basically, people diagnosed with these 2 personality disorders are considered incurable.
Before this experience, I had never heard of Covert Narcissism. I'm certainly not an expert on these disorders. But after several years of research & speaking to more than a few psychiatrists on the subjects, I believe I could teach a university-level class on these personality disorders. 🙂
Additionally, no known medication has shown any positive effect on a person diagnosed with these personality disorders. Certainly not Covert Narcissism.
BTW: Polygraph//lie detector examiners resist testing Narcissists. Because of their exceptional ability to lie without displaying any "detectable" biological & nervous system anomalies.
Clearly, my research & my growing understanding of these personality disorders have been directly beneficial to my recovery & overcoming my PTSD.
If you are recovering from an experience with a Narcissist or Covert Narcissist, I wish you great success. Also, I will make myself available to you if you have any questions, etc.
Best regards from Yucatan Mexico.
Ben
Do you mean what the covert narc does when alone?
If not, there are loads of covert narc videos by Lise, under her videos. They helped me understand my ex wife a lot. And understand myself.
Not a psychological disorder...its behavioral
Married and divorcing one. Devious miscreants
The most important thing I’ve learned about narcissism--
If you think you might be a narcissist…….. you are not!
That thought never crosses a narcissist’s mind!
Just Sayin’
This is good and true. While I've researched this and I was worried I was a narcissist, I found only SOME notes about this. But the VICTIM of a narcissist (or multiple ones) can get so low in confidence, they wonder if it really is them. Because lots of things in articles about narcissists talk about the "victim" strategy of a vulnerable/covert narcissist. It can look a lot like a REAL VICTIM of one.
They never reflect about being wrong😂
No. If you ask them if they think they're a narcissist they'll confirm it.
There's many vids by psychologists on YT confirming it.
The one in my life told me from the start, unfortunately at the time I didn't know the meaning of the word.😢
What I said when they were projecting their behavior onto me.
They always want total control.
My favorite line about a Narcissist I read...." They will give you the shirt off their back. They'll just make sure everyone is looking when they do it. "
I always thought that was Catholicism, my mother is both.
I ultimately really do feel sorry for them. My ex was genuinely tormented internally. Didn't excuse her horrific treatment of me, but I'm one of those overly understanding and tolerant guys... Ya can't fix them though and will die trying, often literally.
Yeah, unless they see it themselves and wanna change you're better of just running for the hills. Sad but true.
They are not tormented internally; they get off on screwing with other people without conscience.
@@ArtemisSilverBow yes they are. I've seen it firsthand. Everything they do, all the awful stuff, is ultimately a mask and a cover to avoid facing it.
My ex was to, and you can’t fix them she was a narc on a serious level and was delusional about it. They will always have a need for a new rush and excitement feeling with supply which is why they jump in and out of relationships and sabotage things that can work for them because they need that fresh feeling of new supply.
My ex , yea the same, she wanted my help, you could see it in her eyes, like a trapped animal, but that Demon inside wouldn't let her go, they hide & protect it , it's the Devil sitting on thier shoulder, it's rare they can be saved, but they do want it , these people are truly possessed , usually by something that happened when young , don't waste your time, it won't work
My ex narc wife would do chores around the house. Then make a list of what she did with check marks and show it to me wanting a pat on the back. Weird. I could do the same chores, never seek validation but if I mentioned I did something, then it became all about how she did the same thing or more. It was always a compare and contrast to "look how great I am!"
My mom used to regularly call me a narcissist when i was growing up, and it never rang true. While i did begin to believe her, I Care very much for others so it always hurt to hear.
Now, being grown, i see the projection. She's never alone, can't sit still, and when criticized she responds with anger rather than humility.
I love her, but it's hard to deal with her.
my mom is the same
I have one of these 😢❤
Much of that stems from the now largely-obsolete (thank God) "Authoritarian parenting style".
The AP style of parenting largely runs on the ridiculous notion of that they "can't be wrong" or challenged (ever).
I understand that one! Been there done that!
Good for you for not estranging from her like so many do to their parents!
Lise you are absolutely spot on. I was married to sociopathic narcissistic for 26 years and you described my X to a "T". I want to see some content about the narcissist and poisoning. I was being poisoned with arsenic for years. Not enough to kill me but, to keep me "SO SICK" I couldn't work and was completely dependent on her. It was truly a miracle of god that my doctors figured it out because arsenic is hard to detect. If a sociopathic narcissist has access to something like Thallium or Arsenic that are very hard to detect, and fell threatened by their supply they will use it. I know this is a sticky subject but it should be discussed
planning the chaos, destruction & character-smearing of their target ... who is an innocent victim of their insane jealousy & ill-placed hatred.
You are describing almost everyone on social media over 10 years
There is nothing good about being around a narcissist. A lot of them have a narcissist ex that's there for them until that blows up. Then they hoover you back. Up to no good when they are alone. Thank you for your great advice. They end up alone, cause nobody wants to be around their toxic behaviour.
My narc ex- husband said same thing. I couldn't live like that. You are spot on!! They do have that narcissist ex in the background. Mine did, talking to her behind my back about OUR MARITAL ISSUES or issues with me. Nobody from his inner circle had liked her since they performed in a band for a long time. They liked me, but they thought the relationship was going to fast. He was, but I needed more time to peep him out. I was the woman he needed but not the one he wanted. He could have gone far with his music career due to my singing talent but he wanted his cake and eat it too and I was not tolerating his adultery, put downs, violent nature, disrespect and neglectful behavior. He knows where his life is headed. He told me and he doesn't care. The universe brought me as a warning and a blessing. He rejected it.
My narcissistic husband always competed with me, and he blamed our relationship issues on me. The grass was always greener on the other side for him. He threw me on the back burner for the first five years of our marriage, running to his parents and friends instead. So I left him. He couldn't handle being alone, however, so he invited friends and family over, left and right, to keep him company. None of them cared that he had been abandoned by his wife and kids--they actually encouraged him to get a divorce so their lives looked better--and this hurt him even more. So he kicked everyone out, repented and begged for me to return. It's been over a year since, and his behavior has gotten so much better. There's finally peace in the house because he's not getting defensive over the smallest thing. (And the people he considered to be friends and family, he now limits contact with because they showed their true colors.)
Even if you’re related to one of these demons you have too have as little contact as you can,they cannot ever be fully in your life
My wife would always raise a conflict with me, then go behind her closed office door. I put a recording device in her office, and she was in there singing to herself while I was ruminating about what had just happened for the next hour.
YES!! Mine does the exact same thing. We could have a blowout and I'll be all upset, she'll go upstairs and close the door and start dancing to music (camera in rooms). Second thing, if it happens near bedtime, she'll be asleep 5 minutes after her head hits the pillow while I'll be up until 5am......they simply don't care.
@hurricaneaquatics
Mine loved to raise a conflict near bedtime. And yes, she would be fast asleep and snoring within minutes of her head hitting her pillow. I, on the other hand, would be awake for hours after that. It's amazing how they seem to run off of the same or very similar playbook.
@@rogerwhoareyou I get it, the worst part is feeling like you're on another planet and losing your mind until you learn about NPD.
That's because after narcissist dumps their toxic waste on you they feel free while you're suffering. It's horrific what they do.
@@ArtemisSilverBow yes
Now we know why some people believe in a better place in the future where the good and pure of heart go to be eternally separated from wicked monster's who eat up souls for fun.
In Gods eyes we are all sinners and need to believe in Jesus and His redeeming work on the cross for salvation from an eternal fallen world. But narcissists are NOT able to believe in their heart . They are deeply entangled in the fear operating system of the demonic realm (the enemy in the bible) Lucifers main 2 fruits are PRIDE and Jealousy but also greed, deceit etc. Its the enemy in the bible. Please get saved because it tells us clearly there is one way to heaven and ONE only. It has been shown to me supernaturally its 100pc accurate.John 3:3 Romans 10:9-11
Fascinating contrast with the psychopath... both basically contemplate and initiate actions while alone in their thoughts, but the narcissist is 'forced' to satisfy its dependence on supply whereas the psychopath can work rationally towards its goal.
And without those bothersome emotions attached. Lol. Well said.
@@brendaplunkett8659 A narcissist dont have emotions for others, they have emotions for themselves and their own suffering, if they're a pure narcissist that is and not only narcissistic tendencies as many people without NPD can have for various reasons.
You could suggest psychopaths are addicted as well to the feeling of gratification and power they feel when they win over others and fk them over. I'd say many (serial) killers are proof of this, they are not only addicted to the power trip, they're so dumb (it's not correct that they are highly intelligent as people think) that they think they have created the perfect plan to get away with murder. They make mistakes in their arrogance because they see themselves as superior when they keep giving themselves away over and over. Just watch the classic police interrogation videos online with psychopathic, anti-social disorder cases and you'll see. They are so dumb it's scary and they do it for which reasons? Addiction to feeling power and superiority over others, no rational line of thinking and then they mess up and get caught.
It’s so crazy these type of people exist. I hope one day they realize what they are doing.
They know what they are doing. They know when they hurt others.
@JoTurner-fg8bx
That's the thing. They do know, but they feed off of hurting others. Like a creature off a movie.
If they don't "feed" that supply they lose. And to a narcissist losing is not an option.
They know they are harming others, but lack the empathy to care about that. Their needs and wants are all they care about.😢
Don't ever make the mistake of interpreting others promoting their business, creative/athletic skills for their careers, publishing documentaries that include past/historic achievements, utilizing online social media platforms for promoting any of the above and for education or entertainment as a narcissistic trait. There are many platforms suited for creative type endeavors and are encouraged.
It's when people get envious, jealous, competitive, and hateful toward others who threaten to take away attention from them, that become a problem. You're going to see that just about everywhere, whether on social media or in person.
Self-promotion is a form of narcissism, it doesn't mean you're a person with narcissistic personality disorder because a diagnosis is different from using a narcissistic (egocentric) trait or tactic. Maaaaany people do some, many or all of the things she said in this video and few of those have NPD. However, you dont need to have a disorder to sometimes, or even often, act in a similar way. Not everyone that act autistic have autism, behavior is adaptable for good and for bad. Childhood, living conditions, general mental health state, stress levels etc all impact how we act during certain stages of our lives. I recognize myself in many of the things she mentioned but not because I am grandiose, or because I want to dominate or push others down, there are other motives and reasons so I dont take offense or get "worried" about having NPD. Overlapping symptoms or behaviors dont equal a diagnosis, however... promoting yourself on social media for attention is a form of narcissism, there's no way around it. It's about getting something from others because you, or the product you promote, is good and worthy of peoples attention, time and money. Normal levels of narcissism and ego is fundamental to human survival, without it we'd die because we wouldn't care about preserving ourselves. It's when things go to the extreme it becomes problematic.
@@porkypileWhat I said earlier stands true. Summed up, don't mistake the difference between self promotion for attention seeking for a sense of superiority vs self promotion for survival through career and business orientation. Comes down to self-centeredness/ego vs building success through promotion, hard work and dedication. I've thoroughly studied Narcicism and Borderline Personality Disorder through certain individuals well over a decade, I know well enough to know the difference between self serving behavior vs self promotion for smart career tactics.
The key word here is lack of empathy. Narcissists have no empathy for others.
No its narcicism,, more camouflaged as genuine, but true to form self centeredness
@coloradoskilife4793 Nope, there are 5 criteria that need to be met in order for it to be narcism. What I said earlier isn't even close.
Angry ppl trying to get the attention they did not get while growing up, that is very sad.😮
I think this just described the Tik Tok business strategy
Wow, I am overwhelmed by these seven descriptions. I just feel sick and sad.
Yes, in my experience with a narcissist the main activity was running from well to well in an effort to "fill their bucket". This was how it was phrased. I have always worked to maintain and repair my bucket hence continuing to hold my self worth intact and therefore less trips to less wells required. It takes less time and effort to repair the holes in your bucket rather than continuously running from source to source to try and keep it full. The holes in their bucket are something they do not see, it brings them shame and increases their lack of self worth. Narcissists dont make me sad but I am sad for them snd their valueless efforts to feel worthy. A definite waste of life. The fulfilment effort is draining for everyone involved... literally.
This gives new meaning to the old german saying that the jug goes to the well until it breaks.
@@nele8554 or leaches go to the source until it dies.
One thing narcissists do when they are alone is..................... fail :) . No imagination, no authenticity, no ability to self soothe, no one to help them, no one to praise them when they do the smallest/dumbest thing right, no one to vent on, no one to blame but themselves, no one to steal credit from, no one to verify their identity by association, hell they even have a highly diminished ability to read and absorb information unless someone's there to "verify" that 2+2=4 or something :).......... I could go on and on, seen it way too many times with way too many former "friends"......
👍🏼👍🏼
The thing is when they had all the love and loyalty from there partners, they mess it up for themselves. Never again will you ever have my love. This is goodbye Deborah.
Without trust etc etc they have nothing
Yeah shirley
I have a neighbor who I had to get a restraining order against, because he was always walking by my driveway, stopping and staring in, and shining a flashlight on my house and property at night. Now, he INSISTS on showing himself to me, whenever I come home. When he hears my car pull up, he runs out to hang out by his motorcycle, so I can see him, then he drives the motorcycle by, while staring at me. When I'm working in my yard, he drives by repeatedly, revving his engine as he passes by. He lights smoky fires in his yard, so I'll smell it. If I do any work in my yard, he'll bang stuff around in his yard, to pretend that he's working, ANYTHING to be heard. He lives in a broken down van on his property, with a motorcycle parked in front for all to see.
@jefferywickens3379 That is so weird. It sounds like a bit of solo gangstalking activity, which is always demonic. I am so over having weird neighbors! It sounds like it could be a weird obsession with you. That's always uncomfortable to have to live with. 🫂
I live next to a lumber yard and a bunch of their scumbag customers/family/friends do that to me, threatening and menacing behavior like that. It's ridiculous, I've even caught them spying on me with a drone, twice!
You’ll have to move.
Sounds more like a dangerous sociopath than a wounded narcissist.
@@nadadenadax4903 sociopaths are narcissists
The frustrating part is that when you confront them a narcissist plays interested in things like therapy and family counseling, commenting that "we all have work we need to do" while what they really mean is "I will do anything to get you to compromise and enable my narcissism". And, if you show them this video they will say that YOU are the narcissist and just want to control THEM. It is an endless circus while the victims of real narcisissm are the ones doing all the research and reflection and have been quietly growing and maturing beyond such childishness for the last thirty years.
Your assessment is spot on. I am coming out of a relationship with a very self-entitled narcissist. Most of what you are saying is spot on. The only difference in my relationship is that she never felt the shame or insuperiority side. She honestly believed what she convinced herself of.
They feel it when they're alone. That's when tbe interjected voices are busy tormenting them.
This is a great video. Absolutely spot on. My ex-narc could not be alone for minutes. Every time I called she was somewhere. The gym, stores, a convention she knew nothing about, strange gatherings at bars, church but wasn't religious. Never had seen anyone do this. However, when she was home she relentlessly called people. Sooo messed up.
Thanks Lise. My ex narc girlfriend after a month of us not talking told me she felt dead inside and she was scared and didn’t know why she felt that way. I could really feel the horror she was feeling by the way she sounded. I truly believe as much of a narcissist as she was, she really had zero self awareness and insight into why she did the things she did.
Sounds like my situation
2:26 2:27 2:27 Zero SELF. EMPTY IN THERE
Both people with NPD or BPD feel dead inside - because they are, there's no core, no kernel, no sense of self. Long story short, there's nobody home.
@@A_n_y_t_i_m_eNone of what you said about BPD is true.
@@HealthWyze Then I guess scholars who devoted their whole lives researching and working with cluster B's are wrong...☺️
This really resonates with me! I started dating my psychopathic nex because he came off as charming, friendly, and charismatic in public and kind, sensitive and humble in person. However, he would consistently talk about his life, past achievements, or instances where someone noticed his work, and he would share stories of how he was victimized and treated unfairly, or he would cast random (accomplished and driven) people in a bad light without really explaining why. He never talked about what he did when he was alone, and I had a ton of hobbies and interests that I never got to discuss with him. (We did not live together, but during the four years of that relationship, he had no idea what I did in my alone time.) Back then, I noticed the discrepancies and decided that a person who was so occupied with gossip and wouldn't discuss the things I was interested in was not the kind of person I wanted to be in a relationship with. (The relationship lacked depth and emotional connection, despite superficially looking great. I did not feel heard, understood, or even that he was interested in me as a person- which was all true.) I empathized with him because his childhood seemed a lot like mine, and I was supportive and encouraging for all those four years, hoping he would become motivated to build skills and believe in his agency. By the time I left him, I was already traumatized and gaslit, but I had just had enough. It's been six years since that relationship ended, and only now am I realizing how toxic and traumatizing it really was, and who he really is.
It's especially easier for narcissist these days since now people hide their real personality to the world. Only people who had spent time with them in a room know how dark and twisted they are. Also I find people who enjoy dark jokes really messed up .
@mrentertainment4923 Are these people who hide their true personalities from the world doing it for safety (from narcissistic people)?
I so relate to finding people who enjoy dark jokes (Also racist jokes. I am learning to discern and not gaslight myself around it. I believe people who 'enjoy' dark jokes or racist jokes could be doing it for the self-serving purpose it does than true amusement at the intelligent/ offensive use of words. I met a (narcissistic) Greek person recently and their Facebook was filled with 'memes' of Indian people defecating outdoors. Sure, that is true and happens because of lack of water/proper sewage drainage/toilets but how is it even amusing to look at that shallow 'humour' everyday. 😅They were trying to be friends with me while seeing me as beneath them, and above them at the same time. They were filled with so many such contradictions and lack of nuanced/comprehensive thinking, and called my comprehensive dialogues 'out of this world logic' 🤷) messed up, and I suppose you had an up-close experience with that?
I believe enjoying dark humour (not too morbid at that) every once in a while is okay but if it's a constant part of their personality then it'd surely make me question my safety around them.
@@thetuckinlady mam your comment is so on point. I believe people who use dark jokes or pretend to not care about others around (lacking manners for exam) are more on the narcissist spectrum. or they are heavily self centred /absorbed .I have a personal experience with a person like this and they said they don't like to invest emotions in others .they are very different from empathic people . while im the one who finds joy in giving to others .although people like us get hurt very easily by wrong people too. these people tend to live life with too logical way and put themselves first because they don't understand putting others first like saints do. abusing gods and idols is 'normal' to liberals because they're not doing anything 'wrong' according to them . even if its making others uncomfortable around .
and for the guy you're talking about he seems like a typical foreigner online who sees himself superior than brown people . mind u most of these online dudes are weird and socially awkward thats why theyre heavily invested online .allot of them are porn addicts and drug addicts .
hes living with a limited mindset and sees Indians as poor and dirty because his parents didn't taught him more about India.
My ex would watch TV on a very high volume, almost as if she wanted to silence her thoughts. If she couldn’t have someone with her, she’d have at least one of her dogs laying down with her. When that failed, for any reason, she checked on her social media. What I did notice was that she could not stand being by herself (even though she had no real friends or close relatives, other than her parents).
My ex did the same thing .. TV thing was really big deal for her .. for awhile I worked from home and she would turn it up so loud I couldn’t focus
She also had a favorite dog that she kept with her on the couch .. but the last dog (had 3) she killed (at vet) while I was at work without warning .. it was healthy and extremely well behaved .. whatever friends or family she had she estranged herself from them for the most ridiculous reasons
Trying to appease a narcissist is like giving CPR rescue breaths but being expected to exhale forever without a break. If you dare stop to inhale, even for the purpose of gaining the ability to keep doing rescue breaths, you get the wind knocked out of you for it. Even when they do the nicest things, they will bring it up later when you’ve reached your limit. When you have the nerve to leave them or distance yourself, they do things like spread your secrets and flip-flop between being nice and encouraging and tearing you down. In my case, I was with a narcissist who told me how she was going to dictate things when I got back, but others aren’t so lucky and only find that out when they return. They make spontaneous utterances without you even having to say a word, such as talking about how they will not manipulate you, and they have grandiose expectations. They make statements to lead you to believe that they are in control of you, and sometimes, they can be dangerous. They clearly say one thing, but backtrack and spin a different meaning behind it. When they are loving towards you, you really feel it, and when they are not loving towards you, you really really feel it. When you are the one who leaves, the smearing campaign begins, but when they leave, they look like the good one in the relationship. They are unstable and cannot make decisions sometimes. Being with a narcissist is like running on a treadmill 24 seven. In short, I had to learn that if a narcissist does those things alone, they will do them way more with a partner. For everyone’s sanity, including the sanity of the narcissist, it is important for us not to feed their egotistical supply to begin with. They will either hurt themselves or hurt themselves more in the process of hurting others and destroying their lives.
Just found your channel.
Glad I did.
I spent 5 months in this hell with a lying, manipulative, hostile, bitter woman that ended when I put a fun to my head.
6 months later, I’m still healing.
You didn't deserve that mistreatment, and I wish continued healing for you. The best thing you did was to sever ties with her.
Oh, I’m over it. It was ALL a lie.
The love and affection was only a sham to set me up so she could knock me down. She used my PTSD against me. I’m a Retired Combat Veteran. I was a Medic (and a Nurse)for 20+ years, with 4 deployments. Last thing she said to me was “You were worthless as a Soldier and worthless as a Medic, and that’s why your friends died.”.
She lied about being a ‘Gold Star Widow’ and was constantly picking fights with me over nothing.
She tried to euthanize my dogs.
Turns out in a previous marriage, she killed her husband’s dogs and stabbed herself in her hand with a knife, blamed him for it and got him arrested. Her own daughter witnessed it and told the police about her history of mental health issues.
It has been expensive, but I’ll come out ahead just fine.
She will be going to jail for a while.
I appreciate your channel as I can gain some understanding of what happened and heal.
Now I know better.
And my dogs are safe now.
How about 20 years of this hell
It's been 18 months and counting
Still healing 😢
I've watched a few of your videos and I have to say that I really love the tree on the wall behind you, such a beautiful piece of art xx.
This is the best channel dealing with narcissists on youtube. Congrats Lise for delivering this fantastic content.
Thank you for your channel, it has elevated my awareness and my perspective on this topic .
Hi And Thank you So Very Much For Sharing This
I Was Just Recently Discarded Horribly Narcissistic Abuse Is Brutal
Sorry to hear this. Hopefully, no children are involved. Parental alienation caused by a narc partner is an unspeakable hell. Never look back - and best wishes for your healing journey.
THEIR loss!
Hardest part is to come. Block them and never let them back in
@@willygates you Are Absolutely Right 🙏
Study everything you can get your hands on about Narcissists. It’s REAL… You Must get Healthy!!
Never go back… RUN!
Wow, this one was one of the most helpful and confirming videos ever. Thank you.
Lise through a computer screen you have helped me so much to understand and identify this behavior and how to deal with it. I spent years* trying to comprehend how to go about this personality disorder and I felt lost my days will be determent and fully dependent on whether she treated me good or bad if she was happy then I was if she was down down I went and finally I walked away it was extremely hard I was honestly going crazy. I learned how to detach myself and be emotionally independent. English is my second langue I wrote the best way I can. Thank you again Lise Leblanc.
I'm not perfect by no means and just want to be happy and work things out in my relationship. My X lady was raised in a family toxic environment. I have seen red flags. However, I hoped that she will overcome her insecurities. In the end she left me and found a rebound guy. As for me. I have been getting back my salvation and motivation to be a better person.
I love the tree of life behind you! Great video, very informative. I work with a narcissist, and this info was very insightful.
Superior is a low standard. Just means well done.
Well done.
Yes.
But Lisa is doing a valuable job for those who are newly interacting with such individuals. You don't have to watch, when the time is right such videos will find you.
This is so SPOT ON! Thank you @LiseLeblar
This "supply" is extreme co-dependency and separation anxiety; what deep narcissists do when they are alone is that they don't do alone. My ex-malignant Narc was always on the phone interacting with her best friends states away. A glitch in this Matrix--now you have 2 people working against you (2 narcs) in triangulation. Extreme co-dependency and separation anxiety are extreme red flags. From now on, I will cross-examine potential partners by asking them if they are ok alone.
The worst things that happened to Humanity regarding Narcissists are the internet and social media/camera phones.
Take away those things and the mirrors out of their house and they cave in and crumble.
This helped a lot! Thanks for such in-depth sharing
Thank you so much! Very helpful!! God Bless you!
Very illuminating. Thanks!
They talk about how they remember anything they’ve ever been shown once, how many friends they have, how hard they work and how you must have done things wrong because they never do
This is an interesting topic! Thank you for sharing ✨
Love your channel Lise!
That was very detailed, professional ❤
You definitely know how they work & as you said only a professional can help them, they will never give up control to a loved one, only a stranger, however if thier friends with a fellow narcissist that person will try to stop them from getting better, & usually succeeds, narcissists usually have someone who is worse than them influencing them, they can't risk being alone,
Thank you! Narcs also spend a lot of time snooping social media and taking endless selfies that they spend ages filtering. They also have a rigid and regular "beauty routine".. LOL.
Wonderful video bravo and thank you very much !
I need to thank you for all the information. It's funny that my ex did these very things you talk about. Almost all of them, but the big red flags were when her entire family (each one and especially her) all said they were crazy at some point. Also when things got bad I suggested couples counseling, and THAT really pisses her off.. I'm no fan of Counselors as I have had more than one betray my trust, however I understand the benefits that one can bring to a relationship.... But she flat out refused and when the faults accusations started in an argument I knew no matter what it had to be over.... That was two weeks ago. Again thank you for your videos, now like you said in a different video, I'm going to stop watching these videos and move on with my life.
(I find myself wanting to delete this comment and move on as I do with so many comments. It's type type type, rewrite and edit- then realize it doesn't matter and delete my entire comment - am I the only one that does that?)
I feel you
keep all your comments up (apart of any incriminating stuff ofc ^^), always. The shame you feel later on in life, when looking back at stuff you once expressed can be reframed into something you can feel good about. Never forget, that wherever you are in life, whatever you think, you are always wrong, but the further you go on, you will be less and less wrong. Life is too complex to just be good at, there is no way, for that to be ever achievable, so no matter what, we will always look back and see ourselves in a goofy light. Just post your thoughts and learn from the reaction of others, instead of giving in to the shame. This is the fastest way to become better, no matter what you do or at what you are good or bad with. Mistakes promote progress, and without mistakes there can be no progress.
@szience what a kind, insightful and empathetic reply. Wow.
Brilliant and totally accurate. Thank you!
What do you mean, accurate to what?
@@joh8379 To my experience with these people. This is exactly what my narc partner used to do. Exactly like that.
Mrs. LeBlanc is on point.
Who can not live alone can not live in a relation......poor people.....i was always wondering why people jump from one relation in to the other and if this dont work out next relation.....mavbe i was lucky amd my mom breastfead me 2 years so i have a deep trust in life in all circumstances.....thank you for your work ...i am learning a lot from you.
Side note: this is probably the best channel I have heard on the topic. She is clear, non judgemental and I didn't end up sobbing at the end of the video
Great work Lise! :)
You seem very happy in this video, Lise.
I always see content geared towards healing from narcissistic abuse, but never any content a narcissist can use to heal their habits...
They never accept that they need to change anything about them selves.
I'm guessing you're only just realizing that somebody in your life is a narsacist. If you still can, get them out of your life now.
Most of them would never search that up to begin with, most are completely against psychology or therapy. Tom Cruise is a great example of this.
They can't be alone or in silence for any length of time. I've known her for over 30 years, but I just had to deal with my remarried narc Ex wife for a few months while my daughter had medical issues. We rode in the car alone extensively over those months and I ran an experiment. On 4-5 of those rides I just stopped talking and started playing on my phone. Within minutes she would be on the phone with her current husband of 17 years, mother, father, sister, daughter, other daughter, or anyone who she could get a hold of.
Next up is the "let's be friends thing". If she cheated on me and left me for another man and gave my family to another man. Why would she want to be friends? Doesn't the whole cheating and leaving me send the message that she didn't want me in her life?
I've gotten so many calls, messages, texts, and selfies from her over the last 17 years. I'm like WTF do you want? Go talk to your new husband or something. Over the years she's constantly telling me to move closer to them and we can hang out. That they would love to have me around. Hell, she even told me on several occasions that I could come visit and stay with them as long as I wanted to stay and that it was her husband's idea and he was OK with it. Now that's weird and creepy shit. WTF is wrong with these people?
Because you didn't put a stop to it
She still knows she can control or manipulate or get into your life in some ways
@@DaMomento Can't just totally cut off communication when you have a child with them. I've dealt with it pretty good for the most part. These days I just grey rock, mirror her, or play along with her and then just leave the situation.
@@ODRiley I was referring to after seperation
To do that in a relationship is very frustrating and it takes out on you
You are still stressed and always on guard
I just left after 20 years once I knew completely she is narsistic
@@DaMomento Yeah, dealing with her for the past 6 months with my sick daughter I finally put the puzzle pieces together. I always figured that even though she cheated and left me for another man that she just never got over me. I was actually right all along. Because most narcs never get over their ex partners because they think they own us. Until recently, I just thought she made a bad life choice, I didn't know she had a mental issue.
@@ODRiley they all are damaged
The puzzle! That's the word. Trying to solve the puzzle but that one piece and you can never find it and you pull you hair and frustrated. Until one day it hits you one day. That's she or he is narsistic. You find the ultimate truth. All the puzzle pieces fit in and boom! You never see all the same any more. She can beg you for days but you know her now. This is what happened to me. She gave up after 3 days. Lol. But she continued to manuplate control and ruin my life trough the kids more than 15 months. The one piece that everyone has to find.
Hi Lise I wanted to comment and say thanks. I was with a girl for five years that had borderline personality disorder. It basically broke me down. It’s been about eight months since I’ve been with her. And I went through a range of emotions during the whole process. I went through hell with her. And I lost myself after her. Even now I still feel like I don’t know who I am fully sometimes. Still working on that. I just wanted to say that your videos along with some books about trauma bonding and personality disorders have helped me detach myselffrom individual like this. Just wanted to say thanks.❤
I wish you all the best as you recover from this experience and rediscover your sense of self
@@LiseLeblanc thank you ❤️🩹
i will probably watch this 100x.
Outstanding analysis. My ex-wife is a covert narcissist. It took me two-years of criticizing myself and wondering if it was me that was the narcissist? My therapist explained why she knew I wasn't immediately. First, I was willing to accept responsibility and apologize for anything I was doing that was wrong or unhealthy. Two... my ex-wife abandoned her dog and I took care of the dog. She never even asked how the dog was? A narc wouldn't have made the personal sacrifice of accepting being alone to take care of the animal.
Narcs don’t like animals I have noticed. They don’t seem to see them as a sentient creature
@@jackiep5009 Your point is interesting. My wife started an instagram account for our dog and he became kind of a celebrity. The interesting part is that she didn't tell me about it or share his popularity with me. I found out when a stranger approached me knowing my dog's name. When I expressed surprise to the stranger I was told they follow my dog on instagram. When I got home I asked my wife what the stranger was talking about and it was only then that I found out about the account. What I came to realize is that my wife used my dog as a prop to share on social media to make people react positively to her. It wasn't about her love for the animal-- he was a prop and so was I.
The worst with narc is their lack true love and constanly make you wrong 😢 ❤
They make you feel unworthy.
Can you tell me more?
I get told this a lot.
I lack true love because I have been burned too many times, and I can see all the red flags now.
I dont make everyone wrong, facts do.
@@fenderblue9485 No, religion does that. They dont need my help.
@@yoshisaidit7250your sentence has way to many "i"'s in it.
@@yoshisaidit7250think outside of yourself for once.
thank you Lise !
This is very accurate. I'm currently living through this.
Hello Her7yn, My prayers are with you.
Best regards,
Ben
The first thing that comes to my mind is, they scheme when theyre alone.
They pre-plan 10 steps ahead and review all the scenarios. It's exhausting
Thank you. Excellent education. I would have wanted to have learned about narcs. Raised by narcs & it was chaos, always unpredictable, lonely.
This was helpful.
They Will Never Admit Fault....They are Not Human...(even I know I can't walk on water)
I can. I can even drive on it.
They’re human
I agree that not everyone is human. People are not all inhabited with the same kind of soul. I am convinced that there are several different kinds of energy that animate these meat suits.
I can Sense their Aura Absence Immediately when Around One before they even say a word...it is like there is a Dark Cloud Hanging Over Them@@calilovebug3897
@@calilovebug3897 and I think it is a narcissistic thing to dehumanize another human being
These people sound fucking insane lol
You have no idea....
Or maybe you do! Lol!
They are.
They are and what’s even crazier is there are empathetic damaged people like me who put up with it. 😢
They are .
@@Indite_Biden google codependency its what u got lol
Some of these also line up with CPTSD, especially mental replays, except with the focus on their mistakes, rather than other's mistakes.
Thanks So Much For Everything You said what a horrible disorder God Bless You ,,& Your Family & Everyone reading this 🙏🙏🙏 Take Care
Tell me 7 things what do covert narcs do when there alone
Same thing but twice as much seeing that they're the type who need to utilize a lot of brain power to deceive people subtly
Please make the same video about Borderlines! Or how and why borderlines discard you!
One in the same, the discard is pretty much the exact same.
To really understand the npd an unfortunate liaison opens our eyes,
We are inoculated by such an experience 🎉
When i was younger I spent countless hours on the phone in front of the mirror memorizing micro expressions so when I look at you I know exactly what emotional feedback to give. It's helped me a lot in life careerwise. I've always wondered if that's a narcissistic trait.
Something you should know more .. i guess nerdy narcissist may use MMOs and other multiplayer games and chat rooms over other more mainstream social media. MMOs are gold mine for coverts from what im learning with the guilds that form in many and female covert can get nearly unlimited supply since there so many males that will chase any attention
Smashing video! In every sentence I see my mother to 100%. Especially if it comes to critizism and not understanding that her supply (in case me, her daughter) is not available anymore to boost her ego. Supergau for my mother - if I am not interested the least of what she was doing all day or how her life is. I prefer peace and tranquilityand as an introvert, decline any form of small talk etc. Many thanks for confirming this once again. She is a deeply traumatised little girl however - but I am not here to heal her and as we know, most of the narcissists won´t ever heal. Simple waste of time.