Wife Wants Divorce? (3 Crucial Mistakes to Avoid)
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- Опубліковано 6 сер 2024
- WIFE WANTS DIVORCE (3 CRUCIAL MISTAKES TO AVOID)
In this video, I want to show you the 3 crucial types of mistakes that hundreds of my clients make when they first find out that their wife wants divorce, and when they first join my program.
If your wife wants divorce, these are the 3 key mistakes you must be aware of, and ensure that you NEVER make, as they will ruin any chances of you ever saving your marriage.
To make matters worse, these mistakes are all things that other coaches and professionals will tell you to do (e.g. How to respond when your wife wants divorce)
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#WifeWantsDivorce
Hey guys hope this was helpful! Leave me a comment with your thoughts? Be sure to check out my brand new masterclass on the 5 Proven Steps to Rebuilding Your Relationship/Marriage. (Warning: Spots are limited)
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I would like to have a personal session with you
If a spouse desired to explore a possibility of whether or not they want to reconcile and you mess it up, is there ever a second chance that they may want to take another chance at exploring a possible reconciliation?
Hey Geoffrey, what does it mean when my wife filed for divorce, but when ever we are together with kids she hugs me, holds my hand? It's very confusing.
I really need your urgent help to save my marriage. Can i please have a personal conversation with you🙏🏽
I reacted extremely bad 3 months ago by trying to persuade her logically and did other things that I feel bad about, all that due to despair. 2,5 months watching geff now and even I did that, I feel like I can still work to at the end, get her back. There's always hope.
Heck yeah! Awesome to hear!
Updates on you mate?
@@vncntbrn @Adam אדם I got huge personal growth achievements, started working on some flaws that I had in my communication skills, personality and thanks to some work I did and Geoffrey's content I can manage my emotions way better now since I changed my interpretations of some situations that I understood wrongly. These are not exactly things related to me and her directly but definitely is the first step to rebuild what has been lost.
While I was working on these things I gave her some time 100% without my existence (something like 3 weeks) and briefly messaged her to understand how open she is to talk with me about stuff, as expected I found a lot of resistance ( meaning that she doesn't feel safety) and didn't try to do anything, just by recognizing my current situation was enough at the moment and I was happy that she at least responds to my messages.
From that moment on, I've been gathering more knowledge about how to create great relationships overall, practicing everything that I learn on people I know ( nice results so far) and once a month I try to have some kind of conversation with her by message because she's at Ireland for at least more 5 months and I in Brazil. When I manage to make her comfortable enough to talk with me by messages or call it will smooth the process by a lot but I'm definitely not hopeful nor anything, just doing all of this mainly because it's gonna be worth it for myself as a person at the end.
I'm facing some issues naturally, like now that I feel really unsure on how I am supposed to talk to her without being inconvenient because she has her busy life and she is in a country where she knows literally no person at all, but I will manage, I'm sure.
Jefferey, You are so right, particular to persons who really want to save their relationship or marriage. You definitely show a real talent in helping your clients. I hope that you are being blessed. I am afraid that my husband is too old to make that change. He has been acting this way for a very long time. Sincerely, Debra
Thank you for these videos Geoffrey. I joined the program yesterday and I am looking forward to real changes in myself. You were the only person that could give me any hope during these hard times. I am currently facing very real resistance from my partner just hearing for once that this is actually a good thing is a breath of fresh air honestly from everyone else telling me it’s over and I should just give up and move on. Thank you very so much
Great! Stay engaged in the paid community and you'll see that your situation isn't even close to being unique/dire/different in any way. Easy stuff! Just master the process and you will be fine!
Hey Geoffrey, your new audience here. I have discovered your channel today, and I have been binge watching your videos. They are all awesome, and you totally deserve a lot more subscribers. Thank you for the efforts you have put in, and thank you for the insights you gave. You made some very good points, and explained them very clearly. Anyways, keep up the good work, and I can't wait to see more videos of you~ ;)
Hey man I'm going to become a dating coach myself. I'm very passionate about doing so. I'd love to get in touch and learn more about who you are and where you've come from, how you learned your skills and what I can learn from you.
This guy is one of the best on the issue. My problem with my wife is that she gets angry very fast and is unable to recognize or admit when she is wrong. She gets angry, starts talking really fast and long and does not let me speak. When after ten of these incidents I respond with a bit of the same action she tells me that I am screaming and I should stop getting angry. This has been an issue for about 8 years and now she left 5 months ago. When I help het with something, she phones and finds something to get mad about..and she repeats her problematic behavior. So if I improve myself and become the ideal husband...it won't have any effect if she does not improve her own behavior. She does the same with our daughter.
I appear to be in a very similar situation with you. We also have a 6 year old daughter. I believe my wife changed a lot when she started taking Adderall (prescribed) even though she really didn't need them to begin with.
Watch my video on playing victim. Lots of victim mindset here in this exchange between you two.
And watch more of my client stories as well. They all repeat one thing in common - once you begin to lead and change the culture of the relationship, you'll be shocked as to how much your partner's behavior can change.
ALL of my clients enroll by themselves, and ALL of them start our blaming the problems on their partner, until they learn how to actually lead the culture properly.
Most men think they know how, but don't...
Most men think they're doing right, until they see their own blind spots.
Read my other comments here - nothing can happen unless people stop playing the victim first, and become a leader. Fully.
@@GeoffreySetiawan it is a bit more complicated then that. I do kot blame my wife for our separation. I was the one that destroyed little by little her patience and her trust in me that one they I would get my act together. 10 years ago I hurt her emotionally when she discovered something that destroyed her confidence in me
I did not sleep with another woman but she discovered that the woman I first loved, two years before her, came back to haunt me. And she forgave me. And ever since 2012 I tried to be the perfect husband. I improved enormously. But she did not recognize the improvement. She on the other hand got worse and worse...and for ten years she became more and more sad...but not only because of what happened 10 years ago but also because of het burnout. Her burnout started 6 years ago. Ans she never went to look for help. Ans she became more and more impatient. She gets angry very fast.. she judges and condemns very fast. And she talked bad behind my back to her family. I defended myself to her sister and her sister denounced me. That evening my wife decided to sleep in another room. Weeks later she left. And she does not question her own actions. Never
She is unable to admit her wrong. Never. And she is unable to know. So I was the cause of the deterioration in the first 10 years of our mariage. We did not adress my betrayal 10 years ago...it infested everything....and 6 years ago she went into a burnout...and now being 45...her burnout together with a midlife crisis she has decided I am the cause of all her problems. If I become a strong confident successful man and father...and I hope she sees that I have improved. But I know that she too needs to change and we need to address the demon of my past. I had a horrific childhood that has had an impact on my mariage. She was able to live with it but my betrayal 10 years ago destroyed her trust. I know que still loves me but i thinks
She believes that she won't find peace if she stays with me. She wants peace...and I have to prove I can give it to her. I al already stronger than 4 months ago. I will be stronger and one say she will see I have become a good and trustworthy man.
Bipolar, trust me tho, it only makes things worse once you bring her back.
@@GeoffreySetiawan If a person doesn't let you get a word in edge wise, and they are displaying the identical toxic behavior to the child...then yes, it is that other person's fault. The guy and his kid should go into counseling to help themselves and to break the codependency with the other person. As they heal, they will then get to decide if they want to stay in a relationship with a person that thrives on drama. Accusing him of a victim complex is ridiculous.
You are good.
Thanks for your vids Geoffrey. Can I ask what to do when there is no contact and she has blocked me? She says she sees my changes but she’s afraid of me going back to my old ways. After that I’m blocked
Atleast if it’s over she ended it in a nice way. But if there’s a 1% chance I’m ready to try
Hi there - Feel free to watch my collection of 50+ client stories where we talk in depth about this. Specifically, look at Scott's and Michael's!
@@GeoffreySetiawan absolutely, will do. Thanks Geoffrey!
@@GeoffreySetiawan absolutely, will do. Thanks Geoffrey!
I’ve been watching your content a lot and around 11 minutes in you mentioned that waiting for your partner to bring up the topics isn’t necessarily a good idea but when I bring it up with my partner she tends to just shut it down and I have noticed that usually when I let her come to me and talk about it it seems to work out better I’ve tried in the past to initiate it and bring up the problems and it just didn’t work out very well and usually we end up arguing and then she tells me to leave
Stop focusing on the WHAT, but HOW.
@@GeoffreySetiawan can you elaborate a bit more
@@lucaswoods1155 What if someone says "I go to the gym, but I still can't lose weight".
Is the problem that he's going to the gym, and should he be asking "Should I keep going to the gym, or not?" (THE WHAT)
Or is the problem with HOW he is spending his time in the gym? (THE HOW).
So look at your comment again -
If you try to approach your partner, and it doesn't go well...
Do you think the question is whether you should keep doing it or not (The WHAT)...
Or do you think your focus should be on learning a different way to approach your partner (THE HOW)?
Also, your partner reaching out to you - do you think she's bringing up the things that truly matter, or just the lighter & surface things?
Think deeply about what I said...
@@GeoffreySetiawan that was eye opening I didn’t look at it like that
Hi Geoffrey, is this even possible when she leaves because she has a lover (colleague from work)? Her head is full of him, she says she is in love with him, so whatever I do seems vain. I am not quite sure if it is even worth any work, it's hard to trust her again even if she wanted to come back. If she did it once or maybe even twice before, seems to be pathological. Thanks
Where did you learn this information? What is your source?
Hi Yolana,
I have spent over $210k on other programs and it has taken me many years to develop a system to be able to teach what I know effectively to my clients.
@@GeoffreySetiawan What programs may I ask?
i currently in this situation and everything geoffrey said so far is on point , he's in the right about this sir.,n im currently folowing all his videos coz its just correct
What if the change my wife wants involves me losing my individualism, myself n my values. My wife wants divorce bcos i finally stood up to her. She controls how i even hold the spoon to feed my baby. Blames me whenever things dont go according to her way even when im not involved.
See my comment to ChrisChrosBelgium. Lots of victim mindset here and many layers of bad paradigms in general - major red flag. You cannot solve your problems with the same thinking/approach/mindset you used to create it.
If you want to change things, you need to learn how to embrace widely different approaches/paradigms.
@@GeoffreySetiawan You are so determined to push your victim complex counseling that you are completely ignoring what they are telling you in their comments.🤦♀️
@@elizabethbottroff1218 Like I said, good thing I do not base my teachings on comments from UA-cam or anecdotal experiences/opinions. I base them on what actually works across thousands of clients. :)
Arguing what works after the numerous evidence we've shown contrary is like trying to argue that gravity does not exist, or the earth is flat.
I realize that just like in those cases, you can present people with 1 million pieces of evidence to support a claim, but there will always be people who latch on the 1 thing that refutes the 1 million.
Okay - you do you, and we will do us! :)
Time will tell which philosophy leads to a happier, healthier and better relationships & life!
hey Geoffrey I'm a little confused and have a few questions so I was wondering if there's any way I can contact you
Hi SAM,
Sure, feel free to reply right here. What about this video and these 3 crucial mistakes to avoid do you have questions about.
@@GeoffreySetiawan well I have a specific problem. I was wondering if you can make a video explaining what to do if your ltr partner only wants to be friends?
My wife been on deployment for nine months and been talking about it.
It’s been 5 months since I’ve been cleaning myself out and getting better than I was before . Is it ok to text my ex gf? We been together for 4 years.
I cheated in 2017, we separated and then I met someone else and had a child with that person. Then we separated again in November if 2021 and I lived with another woman for 7 months. I ended that relationship and one day in June I woke up and realized I wanted to be with my wife and refuse to let go. She is dead set on continuing the separation and divorce. What can I do? She told me to give up and that I can make all kinds of changes but it won’t matter
I hope you didn't give up. I hope you learned from your mistakes and gave your wife no choice but to see your changes
6 months in seperated 2 babies together married 4 years, I lack the skills to lead conversation and start tough ones, me and her txt every day and I've been working on building that emotional safety a lot I ask questions sometimes deep ones, at times she opens up a bit and sometimes not, and state my intentions but not in a needy way and have had her open up to me a little bit yesterday night on the phone she told me about how I can be negative and so on when i did ask deep questions and did praise her but I don't feel like it was the root issue here i lack the skills and today I have a zoom meeting hopefully i get accepted in the program I'm ready i was doing all the wrong things the first 4 months but these last two I've worked on breaking cycles and building safety
Hi JMan Pro.6,
Love it! I am sure you will gain a lot of value and insight from the call.
Just note that yes we do only accept around 10% of the applicants that apply. But if the applicant is not the right fit now, we will always give coaching, insight, and resources on what is needed and the potential to become a client is always on the table.
Here's the situation. This giy is making this way too complicated. If you have been a really good husband and father. Working two jobs, helping take care of the kids, going on vacations., then your wife is cheating on you and wants a divorce? I would agree and divorce her. There are plenty of good quality women out there that won't do that.
Exactly the problem mindset I talk about here -> ua-cam.com/video/BFx1A25Oz8c/v-deo.html
Please let me know if your mindset/approach leads you to finding that perfect woman who can feel fulfilled with this and whether this can help you create the anti-fragile relationship for yourself.
When you do, report back, and please cherish that woman :)