Enneagram: When Good Goes Bad For Type 6
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- Опубліковано 19 гру 2019
- Transformational Enneagram & Relationship Coaching
More info at www.tomlahue.com/
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Dr. Tom LaHue is a graduate of Florida Christian College. He holds 3 Master's Degrees including an MDiv from Liberty Univ. His Doctoral degree is from Grace College and Seminary. He is also a certified Marriage Coach. He and his wife Traci have been married since 1991. They are the proud parents of 5 children and 5 grandchildren.
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![ОРБАН приехал к ПУТИНУ и "отчитался" о поездке в Киев 😁 [Пародия]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/_0ukDovOWq8/mqdefault.jpg)
Favorite six statement ever: “Murphy was an optimist”, in response to anything that can go wrong will go wrong. Lol. (A warm 6 friend using humor to diffuse anxiety)
After narcissistic abuse, all I can trust is just God, not even myself or my family. People are not infallible.
When a 6 is a narcissist, life is difficult.
Truer words were never spoken.
I was raised by a narcissist who wasn't a 6, but I'm a 6 and my first 20 years of life was hell.
This is 💯 percent who I am....
The good, the bad and the ugly. I can see how I sometimes become to obsessed with protecting myself and my loved ones. Thank you for this video.
Dear Dr. Lahue, you and your insight and channel are truly amazing. I am regularly watching your channel. I am a 4w5 sp and have a counterphobic 6 friend. Through your video and insight i finally can understand and acknowledge his enormous and constant underlying fear. That's so great and helpful and valuable. It saved our friendship. Thank you Dr Lahue. Keep on your amazing work.
Hand raised!✋
What came to mind in the after-thought is that problem solving can be seen as bring a "know it all". I think Sixes are commonly misunderstood. With type 6 in perticular, I believe it's important to understand their childhood dynamics.
If you check out some of Helen Palmers work I think you'll appreciate the time she taken to doc. her perspective of childhood experieneces of each type.
Thank you for your time Tom.
Present ✔
You're the best.
Hah, about the "everyone is a complex problem to be solved." So true. I spend a good deal of my chunk not only analyzing other people, but finding problems in myself that don't exist -- I'm often preoccupied with thinking of myself as a problem that needs fixed.
"The mark of 'The Beast'."
Man O 'Man...
"Subscribe to 'Survival Food'."
LMAO!
Tom,
Man, this is too funny. 👍
Nice work.
Ps. You want us around when its time to bunker-down. Trust.
;)
When you said whether the glass is half full or half empty, a 6 will be sure that glass will break… I felt that!! Lol.
- 6w7SP
So, I have a very dear friend who is a 6... When a horrific accedent happened to my sister and brother-in 'law, and they needed a couple of days of help when they both finally got home from the hospital... They asked if I and my (6) friend could travel a couple of hrs to be there for them and lend a hand... My friend refused to join me, as she was afraid to be at someone's home she knew, but not closely... And also concerned over not being "ready" for a trip she was then planning on, 6 weeks from the 2 1/2 days we would have been there helping... I went myself... And it was an amazing time of serving and blessing. I'm learning the Enneagram... And chalked it up to her being an overly cautious and often anxious 6.... And even though it was sorly disappointing that she would not join me, at such a time...knowing her Enn. # was so helpful for me being a 4 with a 3 wing.
She is struggling with this C.19 Virus now as well... Even though she is hunkered down in her home with all she needs... Such times must be tough for the beloved 6's among us!
Absolutely!
I’m a six and when something really makes me anxious I get stuck in a loop until I can ground myself and this might take days even weeks to get myself out of that cycle. I go through all the ways a situation could go wrong so I look for several solutions to potential scenarios. It’s awful but on the flip side I’m someone who lots of people feel secure with because I can be really reassuring since I learned how to reassure myself.
This is my Favorite Lady too, you speak of!
Thank you, that's my six for 54 years straight through. The Loyal Skeptic wears her title as I love my partner!
I am a 6 and an atheist. As much as I appreciate this video I think it had to many religious analogies and to much conspiracy theories labels.
But I can identify with all the other things being mentioned.
Sadly I am one of those sixes that has been holding me back because of the fear of what might happen.
Same here, rather agnostic but mostly cuz neither of the sides makes complete sense to me so i'll just stay in the middle. But I laugh at most conspiracy theories, I guess I trust the current system as an authority right now. Dont like that 6 is always connected to anti-authority as if it's the only way the questioning side of 6 can express itself. The conspiracy/anti authoritarian image of 6 is partly what kept me from relating to the type for a while.
the inherent element of risk in life....oh man. it does keep me up at night, but through therapy and years of grinding experiences that have been difficult, I learning what it means to accept that this element of risk will never go away. and, as many others have already seen, these perceived elements of risk I think I see often aren't as risky as I thought they were.
Thank you for sharing the wisdom of the enneagram and for your excellent way of breaking it down in a conversation that’s so interesting, meaningful and relatable.
A most appreciative 6 😀
You are so welcome!
I'm a six for sure, this is so spot on. I wish I heard this a lot earlier because I am 42 now and as you say, I can't relax and just live.
You are so right with to job related stuff.
Congrats on your daughter getting married and on getting a grandchild
Very educational, thank you from a 6w7☺️
I'd love to hear your thoughts and observations of your daughter who is a 6 with your wife who is a 2!
I will consider that. Thanks.
Yes! That would be amazing. I'm a 6 and my husband is a 2!
I'm a Six and this pandemic has been absolute hell for me. You'd think "Yay! My brain has so well trained me for disasters that I know just what to do!" But unfortunately I have gone over to the "dark side" is Six-ness, and 8:52 nailed it. I don't just order groceries and have them delivered to my doorstep, but I disinfect EVERYTHING with bleach water (except the produce, which gets a thorough wash before using), and I wear a mask to do it, and gloves. I worry that delivery people who don't wear masks might have COVID and have breathed in the space where our front door is and left enough droplets floating around that I or my husband might breathe them in when we go outside (for HOURS afterward), because I read somewhere that the smaller aerosolized droplets with COVID could stay in the air for a long time (never mind that the freaking wind is blowing and I'm sure there wouldn't be enough for a viral load). Going out anywhere (which is RARE for us), especially a doctor's office, means a boatload of safety rules, precautions and supplies. I DEFINITELY do not understand people who don't wear masks when they go out (and goodness, wear gloves, too!).
I might be going insane -- But, thank God, I am NOT A CONSPIRACY THEORIST! We Sixes are not all that kind of crazy.
You just confirmed my thought that being a 6 is exhausting!
@@chrismarrs6440 Extremely. Especially if you're an unhealthy Six.
Im a 6, but i don't think this is 6 behaviour bro, i think this is some anxiety disorder or OCD bruh.
@@thisiswheezie Well, there are all kinds of Sixes, and there are "healthy" and "unhealthy" types, and I fall under that last category. I DO have an anxiety disorder, and medical PTSD, so it stands to reason I would be a lot more diligent/hypervigilant than a "healthy" Six. But the REASONS why I'm a Six, my core fear, etc., is dead-on. I am a Six for sure, not an "Enneagram Something-else with a Side of Anxiety."
@@thisiswheezie Yeah, this person certainly has some actual disorder.
“They demonstrate what they are looking for”.
So, as soon as i finished seeing your video my mother, who is a six, sent me a youtube video on illuminati stuff LOL
I bet she doubts its real too :P
@@answerback-films655 I was once into it, but then you realize that it has no real bearings on you.
No need to waste time fighting a losing battle
@@YEDxYED he meant that 6's are ambivalent about everything
I m a 6 and all that you say gives so much clarity. All this fears usualy i manifest them in my relationship wich is an 8. I always count on him because he looks so confident and he s there for me. In a situation i m always giving him the "vision" on what could go wrong. He doesn t like it and says he s tired of my negativity. But i also came to the point to overcome my fears and i m justy saying: i m going to risk and do this thing even if it s posible that the worst scenario that i see could become true. I think this is a good attitude for a six, to be courajouse and constantly to have to attitude to risk it all. And then they will descover that it s never the end of the world and they will get more optimistic.
Thx u!
How’ve you been doing?
I’m also in a marriage with an 8 and my biggest fear came true of deception and infidelity by the one I had finally trusted! So……is it even possible to get trust and respect back when I’m such a 6w7 and he’s so remorseful and has done a lot of inner work 🤯
Ahahaha it's ironic. I am quite anxious because I can not determine my anxiety, but the more you tell "us" why we 6es are anxious, the more I feel calm because I can reassure myself. Thank God for your Work! It quite helps!
I feel the opposite. I think i general manage well but hearing how edgy we are supposed to be makes me worry about it lol
I like 6s but when unhealthy they are insufferable to be around. I started a job years ago wherein an unhealthy 6 told me, 'You'll find out who you can trust and who you can't.' I found this incredibly paranoid and strange. I did a vid on it: ua-cam.com/video/upAbZ4KbG7c/v-deo.html
Really enjoying your channel. In your 7 vid you mention you are a social 7, where I am also a social variant. So/sp4w5
This is soo accurate.
:-)
Hahaha the last point is dead on... uuugghh.. Why did I have to be a 6? Lol
I'm a 6w5 and I have to say the "rule" things also falls in to the "it depends" category. Because I am a skeptic, I will question the rules. Lol
As a fiercely atheistic six. I gotta say that I respect your videos/works/insights a lot. I just funnily want to admit that every mentioning of the word lord/god/etc triggers me like no tomorrow. XD.
It does make me roll my eyes
Why would you be a "fiercely atheistic" six? Why get triggered? I just wonder why one would be so dogmatic :)) . Thank God, I am no six, they can be so bigoted in their believes and therefore so dreary.
@@weissblau Fear can make one do strange things. Assume stubborn positions and such. The dogmatism comes from a need to strife for known safety. And a mistrust for anything that suggests to sell a feeling of safety, while not being the actual thing itself. So I am scrutinous and skeptical.
@@dennisjonker4804 Thank you. Your answer helps me with dealing with a 6 friend. Sincr I am a 4 , I have difficulty understanding these 6 issues.
@@weissblau I'm glad to have been able to provide a satisfactory explanation.
can you do a video about career choices for 6 etc?
girl8 good idea, maybe.
It makes me an excellent boxer and a terrible student sometimes. Im also an istp.
see... this went from "6s can tell you what all can go wrong" which I identified with... and then went into ridiculous conspiracy theories that defied all logic... which I don't do... then went into "reasons not to belong to any group" which I identify with... and kept going back and forth like that.
so much about the 6 fits, but so much of many types fit. 1s, 4s, 7s, 9s... It's hard to understand what slot I fit into so I can begin to better myself.
I'm a 6w7 and never believe conspiracy theories. I always approach any conspiracy with skepticism. You can't prove them, so they are not true. Not all 6s are prone to hysterical thinking -- some of us are just cautious, skeptical, questioning, and feel like there's no solid ground at times to stand on. So don't rule out 6 because of ridiculous conspiracy theories.
Because THEY ARE CAPABLE OF HAVING AN AGENDA!!!
Does anybody else here have OCD? I have it and I seriously wonder if my personality is a driving factor 😂 constantly looking for danger and thinking something terrible will happen to the people I love if I don't do something a certain way. Which I know isn't logical but being a 6 doesn't make it easy to ignore!
I have it OCD. I am a 6.
God it's a struggle.
@@Priyankafoody it really is! I feel for you!
5/6 and 6/5 seem very similsr but all in all nearly every conspiration th became true...therefore I love to be 5/6 intj-sigma female ....🤣🤩😁😁😄😊🤩🤭😏😚🧐
I don't go to McDonald's or Chick filet, I'm a vegan and a 6
Is their marriage counseling that deal with Ennegream?
Marriage Coaching is what I do...
@@twlahue I looked at your website and did not see pricing for marriage coaching specifically. Perhaps I overlooked it. Is there a link I can look at?