Why you have no friends (the loneliness epidemic hits pretty hard in your 30's)
Вставка
- Опубліковано 8 жов 2023
- The loneliness epidemic hits pretty hard in your 30's.
I'll be discussing some reasons as to why this is happening & what to do about it.
📌BOOK 1:1 TRANSFORMATIONAL SESSIONS W/ME: paperbell.me/evita-pk
📌Limited capacity & serious enquiries only - APPLY for 1:1 mentorship: bit.ly/4dhWUBr
📌FIND ME ON IG: / evitapkcoaching
⚠️ Disclaimer: These videos are for educational purposes only. Information provided on this channel is not intended to be a substitute for in person professional medical advice ⚠️
Scapegoat daughter of a super promiscuous NPD mother, here. Coming up I was hardly allowed to have friends. They were NEVER allowed in our house because my mother hated kids. We also moved around a lot, so I was always the new kid. My mother had a revolving door of men and female friendships that ended because of my mother’s behavior. So, I never really had friends for any extended time or saw examples of it. And my connections were always shallow if at all. Plus, I social anxiety, it was just easier for me to stay to myself. And, I can cut ppl off in a second. I just don’t bond or I bond on a shallow level with people. At the end of the day, I can be cold and just not care. Even when deep down, I do.
I would love a video that is focused specifically on how to recognize a good friend. I’m rebuilding my friendships after going through individuation and learning to recognize good friends and have boundaries
Life has an interesting way of teaching us valuable lessons. Only by taking a moment and see things through it's when we realize that we must stay genuine. When we pour into ourselves, our energy shifts and we become magnetic, we attract what is meant to be. Our beautiful garden suddenly has the perfect conditions for beautiful flowers to blossom, the ecosystem just works without much effort. Ensuring sun and watering our garden will in fact nourish relationships with others.
The same way, we must learn to stay non-attached to particular outcomes and accept people as they are. Demanding change from others is not love. Instead we must change how we interact and show up in the way the want to be treated. Letting them be and decide whether they want to adjust and stay, or walk away. Setting boundaries is key on developing self trust and self reliance, allowing us to respect ourselves and the other person inside the relationships.
I have made a male friend this year but I am the one trying to schedule things so now I'm ready to let him go. I have female friends and cousins but they're all away or not flexible in schedule like me. I need to find like-minded people to hang out with. I am a self-employed businessperson so I am really flexible schedule wise. I want to live a life like in the Regency Era of England where people hang out and "live" but this modern world doesn't afford me company that wants to live the same vibe. I guess I'll just enjoy my own self and that's what I've been doing. Taking myself out on dates and whatnot.
hey Evita, this video was so needed for me. Thank you for continuing to come on here and speak to us, truly. I'm wondering if one day you will make a video about overcoming guilt, shame, and being able to forgive yourself. More specifically and personally, poorly dealing with a traumatic period of life and depression, allowing it affect others negatively around you, causing great pain. Thanks for all you do.
Good suggestion. I will definitely be creating something around that 💜
dont have any friends or family really because of my healing journey been treated awful by "friends" in general working on many of these things you mentioned so eye opening . always thought i wasnt worthy of friends.
I'm in my mid 20's and i have no friends 😂
Sucks. You are still welcome here.
This is excellent advice, it feels like you’re making these videos specifically for me sometimes. Thank you.
Let me be the first to drop love❤
This made me feel better. Thank you
You are wonderful. Thank you 🙏👏🌸
Seems to me sometimes friendship all to often relate to what's on offer. So, if the goings good within your life people act as if you'll have more on offer. They'll wish to stop by to get their own piece of it too through association. Even when families have a strong extended family base, then it also creates a situation where all sort of extra resources are able to be more readily available. Even fun related resources. Which creates a certain form of popularity
I experienced similar with destructive friendships related to alcohol too . I left my old destructive ways behind, and then there were times when i might stop by those places for a quick peek to see whos there and whats happening. There were regular people hanging around there who seemed to me like they'd continued on regularly sitting in the exact same chair for decades
Ive gone from a sense of loneliness to aloneness. Aloneness has actually afforded me the room to think deeply, and to carefully contemplate
Hi Evita, I really love all your videos. i really connect well. You are so true what you say.
Thank you for sharing
Such an important video ❤ I see after watching that... I really have just one friend that meets the requirements and I never feel like I give her enough for her just sticking around my madness. But I will be moving to another country with my partner and I'm so afraid of losing her... And also afraid I will be very lonely, without friends, in this new place. Where do I find such beautiful people? And of course my main question... How to be myself when I don't know who I am apart from anxiety and selfhatred? Ehh
Why do you wanna move to another country if I am not being too intrusive. Is it because of you partner or what are the reasons, and see if it's worth beginning a new life away just with your partner, a lot of people regretted this decision (moving away just for their partner)
This is another great video. I'm currently going through and watching all your uploads since I found your channel! Do you think that the rise of social media has contributed to people feeling lonely and has given the illusion of a friendship being deeper (or more real) than it really is?
Thank you. I think that at the same time of social media being a way to maintain our friendships easier - & stay connected we are definitely not always on the same page with people we think we are friends with. Liking every post & story isn’t exactly as bonding of an experience as making time to actually speak to eachother
A bit of a genius.