This is whyI left my husband 25 years ago. He felt that because he was working he didn’t have to do anything else. I was also working and had a 2 year old and a 2 month old with no help from him. I saved up, got an apartment, furnished it without him knowing and moved out with my boys. I felt like I was a single mother anyway. I needed to raise my sons in peace. It was the best thing I could have ever done. They will soon be 25 and 27 and I couldn’t be more proud of them.
If Aunt Fumi happens to know a course one can take, whether psychology or something, I'm willing to take it. The reality is not every male is supposed to procreate; look at animals....the weaklings don't get a pass. Only human beings, supposed to be better mammals, give weaklings that pass.
No, you choose a man based on his ability to provide and protect. Even the BIBLE clearly teaches this. If he cannot or will NOT provide for you and protect you, STOP dating the LOSER! Always practise Hypergamy.
@Vivien Mary-B Well said, that's because modern women have fallen for romantic love. Since the beginning of time until only 100 years ago, women married and reproduced with men for financial security. So called romantic love was for the poor, and it still is for the poor! Love doesn't pay the rent and love has an expiry date on it. So date and marry for financial security, ladies. By nature females whether human or animals, birds etc mate/marry up with the BEST males.
@Vivien Mary-B Go and watch two UA-camrs who will help you with the information you need: 1. Chrystal Swirlz 2. Shera7 These women will give you a very good breakdown on how to spot AND avoid useless Beta males. In a nutshell, a USELESS beta male does not FINANCIALLY provide and protect his woman. FACTS!
@@vivienmary-b4469 Right. I was literally just thinking this to myself. 😂 A lot of men are truly lucky what women have societal pressure and a biological clock because if women had more time, most of them wouldn’t have even got the time of day let alone the opportunity to pass on their lineages. 😂 this is why they can’t stand picky women who do not care to fit into societal standards. They know they have no upper hand with women that do not care about all of that stuff. 😂😴
I agree with many of her reasons too - but after divorce #2 I would expect someone to realize their choice of men and/or their own flaws probably are part of the problem. Repeating the cycle of breaking up families is just as, if not more, detrimental to the kids and to the woman herself. It's piling trauma on top of trauma...
I couldn’t agree with you more! This is exactly what I was thinking. Only reason I could think of is perhaps she just now realized this and is now choosing to be on her own and not re-marry. It always confuses me how people can make the same mistake repeatedly and not learn the lesson but I have to remember everyone learns differently. 😅
I promise you 85% of men these days are trash. No matter how much many of us women re-evaluate our lives, disappointments still happen, it’s not us, it’s these men these days. Can I tell you that I was on several dating sites and I couldn’t find one good man out of hundreds and I am not exaggerating. Either, some said they are not looking for a fling neither looking for a LTR, some said they just want something casual, others said they are in town and want friends with benefits and it goes on and on. It’s crazy! What do women do who doesn’t want to commit adultery or fornication? They get married..soon after the marriage doesn’t work. It’s either we stay single or choose one of these losers. It’s sad. You’ll say their are good men out there and no doubt, just a few but consider the ratio of women to the few good men. In fact, most, if not all are already taken. Sadly It’s the world we live in.
Fumi... I have felt how she felt however, I would not get married a second time until I heal from the first marraige and analyze what I have to do better and know the red flags before I marry again.
This. Too many women jump from one bad relationship to another. And advising doesn't always work. Many still take the advice in one ear out the other. The best thing to happen to me, was think like a woman act like a man the book. I left my ex when I found out he was cheating through all five years of our relationship. Almost thirteen years later, i met a guy who loves me for me. Fumi is dropping pearls. We need to pick them up. Have a man, only when it's a good place to be. Because you deserve better. No parenting with a broken heart.
Yes, but I know several people who are married and divorced twice, or more. Each time they think the guy is the one until they are not. Women are lonely and want to give the guy a chance because they don't want to be alone.
It takes a special kind of courage to walk away from a marriage and choose to raise kids alone. She's braver than me because I would have given up after the 2nd marriage failed. I pray God sends her all the help and resources she'll need to raise those kids well🙏🏽🙏🏽
I am 45 years old and I tried to freeze my eggs after trying over and over again and trying to hold on for a committed relationship. Frozen eggs have an expiration date too. Now, I am done and content with my 2 dogs at home.
Purrrfect, Catherine. I think more and more women are realising that having a child or children is another brain washing myth that little girls and women have been fed for so long. Having a child will NOT make you happy. It may give you a sense of responsibility but it will not a) make you more happy, b) wealthy, or c) loved more by anyone, especially a man. I am happy with my loving cat and amazing friends and extended family. Having a man is a just a cherry on top of my already beautiful cake of a life.
Tell it Fumi!! I went through a divorce 3 children, juggling everything by myself, but I did it for the kids. Today they are grown...thank God for seeing us through. 🙏
Fumi I swear, you are empowering us more and more with each new episode! Where were you when I was in my 20s???? Please consider writing a book on self love and life experiences, and maybe another book on beauty and make up! You are brilliant. I agree with what the lady said, I hope her life will only improve from now on. You go girl! You’ve got this.
I agree; this hit me hard because this is where I am in my relationship. I feel drained, overworked, under-appreciated, and used. I feel betrayed because I thought he was more of a man in the beginning than now. I feel like a housemaid and a damn enslaved person, lol. It's painful, but whenever we as women speak up, we are labeled as selfish and ungrateful for what a man who never helped to care for his child and his household 🤔 I don't want a relationship to show to say I have one. I feel I would instead be alone than unhappy.
So do something about it! Yes it’s easier said then done but your time isn’t going to come back you accept what you allow! You can have better and things can change but it starts with you :)
I was where you are now. I tried marriage counseling but they did not want to put in the effort. The marriage ended in 2016 but I dragged my feet in filing for divorce. I finally did in 2019. I have been so stress free and taking better care of myself. Only you can decide what is best for you and your family. I wish you all the best moving forward.
My love is with you. I left with three kids after 7 years of marriage. Make the best decision for you - those who love you will want the best for you. I must admit I had to cut off a significant amount of family before I left to keep myself sane and positive. Speak to the creator of the universe to guide you on your way.
I could relate to u and how u feel but what I can say I'm happy now ☺ . I left , I traveled and spent three months out of the country it helped and now I'm back home healthy and happy just not with him. I'm still single but I am just loving my self. U will smile again my dear. Love ❤ u first. 💐
Marriage is not all that its cracked out to be, yet we keep telling single women to get a man and get married, when we damn well well know that marriage is created for men's benefit only. That's why very smart women get married PRIMARILY for the coin$, not love ❤️
Fumi you hit the nail on the head. I learned my lesson with my daughter's father. I never married him thank God I had enough sense to say no to his proposal twice and walk away. But he taught me what I didn't want. And I never let another man put me in that situation again.
My situation exactly and precisely why I was one and done! 😊. Moved to another state, seen my daughter through Ap/Honor classes throughout her school yrs, college, marriage and am so proud of... the woman, wife and mother she is today!🤗. I thank God every day and my parents upbringing... for giving me the discernment I needed...for being a great parent and now a grandparent! 🙏🧘🙏🥰🥰🥰
I agree! you shouldn't stay with your husband if the marriage is not working and can't be fixed! However getting married and divorce over and over again will traumatize your kids also. Maybe you should heal first and learn how to recognize red flags. When you become a parent your kids come first! Focus on your kids and your healing. Maybe later on you will find true and healthy love 🧡
What she said about parenting with a broken heart hit me A LOT! I suffered as a teen when my parent's marriage hit the rocks. I was 19,and in trouble, that was when I realized how emotionally disconnected my mom was from me, and I couldn't go to her for the support I had needed and always gotten from her. But, to go through another marriage without healing her heart was all on her. She was definitely not healed from the first divorce before she went into the following ones; otherwise, she'd not be in this situationa gain. Thanks Aunty Fumi for your take on this.
I love you Fumi, I agree with her reasons. I am also divorced and I did not want to be married in name alone and in a disfunctional situation so I got a divorce. It was scary at the time, but I did not believe I would be my best self if I stayed in that situation. No women should be used and abused by men who claim to love them. You can stand on your own two feet, and get it done.
I did to. I feel great 😊 ❤. Men these days expect you to do everything….and still want dinner on the table. And it’s really a struggle trying to make the marriage work when his sex is bad. Ain’t getting nothing. So.. bye.
I grew up with a single broken hearted mom and YES it’s hard. She did not say anything wrong I was in relationships that were toxic and when I got out I was able to be my best self. I don’t believe in being miserable to stay in any relationship, I don’t believe in staying with someone because everyone likes them but you are not happy being with them. Love yourself, find happiness within you and find your peace within yourself and you will attract love in your life.
All on point, especially the part about keeping your legs shut while in the early stages of dating. Opening them too soon, I’m most cases, is literally giving a part of yourself to someone (who oftentimes does not deserve it) and it creates soul ties! It’s an exchange of energy on a level that I believe many women don’t fully understand and it causes them to lose their power and get hurt. Allow a man to prove to you WHY he is worthy of such a precious gift, and stop accepting the bare minimum! This not only saves you from potential heartbreak, but also allows space and time for him to reveal who he truly is ❤ The question is, will you be paying attention?
Everyone doesn’t get it right on the first, second, third or fourth try. Hell some of us may not have a relationship with someone else that fits into this happily ever after box. But what’s most important is the relationship we have with ourselves.
But number you need to see therapy and stay alone, instead of selfishly let your kids go through men after men after men. Bonding with different men and seeing unstable marriages. If she has a daughter her daughter has seen a terrible example. And her son terrible men
My mom always says..The mouth that a man uses to court you it's not the same one he uses to carry on..Sometimes even when the fruit looks appetising there is worm under the skin..ITS a periodic process..Hello sis your lipstick is dynamite..Love you to pieces😍
I agree with her 110% too. I was young, dumb, naive, very sheltered and married when I just turned 20 y.y. I hurt my ex-husband dearly and he did to me as well. It was SO SO difficult. 💯 However, NOW - I'm in my early 40s and I thank my ex-husband for divorcing me. My personal internal eternal peace is through the roof. Now I'm officially ready as a great wife and I treasure my peace. As I 💕 my life now! I'd rather be single at peace. If ever necessary, again. 💯 💯
This is a wonderful episode. You did justice to it. I just want to add that the lady might also want to go for counselling or a healing session that'll kind of free her from attracting those kind of me.
I agree with the lady 1000000%. Hence another reason women should never judge another woman when we see she’s of a certain age and she’s single or never married. She has chosen to not tolerate or accept certain behaviors. More power to her.
Fumi, I am going through a similiar experience as this lady. And I must say, walking away has reinstated my happiness and sense of purpose in this life. *God bless*
I’m so happy that you understood what she was saying. I’ve only been married once and people don’t understand why I didn’t try harder for the kids. But it was like having 6 children with no stability on his part. And once we share a son he become so jealous of his own child. I can honestly say I am in a better mental, physical emotional and spiritual place. I am ready for love now but have my fears.
I've read ppl say they would have preferred their parents divorced instead of staying together "for the kids". The staying together for the kids only ensured they were raised in a toxic environment cos their parents obviously couldn't stand each other.
Yes!!!! This is how I felt exactly and it was KILLING ME! now Tim in the best days of my life! Go and don't look back. If anybody can't understand your decision, that's not your business that's their problem.
Simply put, if a man is not a problem solver, then he will DEFINITELY be a problem. Majority of divorces are due to lack of or mishandling of finances; no man alive is sexy enough for me to be homeless with him. Another large issue is rating men for "potential" instead of vetting him through his actions, and she had rose-colored glasses on for 3 separate husbands. No shade to this lady, but if she had stopped after the 1st divorce, focused on her, started therapy, and worked on her inner self (these men didn't pick themselves for her, and she may have a "type" she keeps marrying), maybe she wouldn't be nursing heartbreak right now. She stated that her grandparents and parents had longstanding successful marriages, but is that more of a reflection of their love, the relationship standards at the time, or her "stargazing" from outside their respective relationships? It's hard to believe that she would end up thrice divorced if she had great relationships present in her life to model her own after. My guess is mom and grandma dealt with plenty that they didn't reveal to her since it was unheard of to air dirty laundry back then, even within families. I agree that it's better to be alone than in a worthless relationship with essentially an adult child; let him go back to his mom to finish his raising, because that's not your job. I hope that not only is she going to therapy, but that she has her children in therapy as well, because that's a lot of upheaval for a child, and dealing with a heart-broken parent may make them feel invisible, neglected, or that they're somehow at fault for mommy's sadness. I wish her health, happiness, clarity, and most of all, peace.
Great points she mentioned in her video. Sis just ask God to guide you before getting married a fourth time. Your three points are excellent and should resonate with every single and married woman.
I agree with the woman in the video. The situation is sad. She left and hopefully avoided generational pathology. Dysfunction is passed down generations. Hurt people hurt people. Don't let this dysfunction ruin the lives of the children. They are doomed to repeat it as young adults and adults. Thank you for sharing, Fumi. I love your advice.
I never even got married or had children because I never met someone I felt was right for a husband/father. I also hear and see women around me struggle and it is not what I want. My mother had 3 disfunctional relationships (1 marriage) and I wish she had just remained single, especially when I was older to be able to help more.
Good for you! You missed two bullets ie marriage and having a child. Both are expensive and burdensome, emotionally demanding and both WILL age you FAST. Not worth it in my books. It's ALSO crazy that there are many miserable women with unhappy marriages, rotten children etc putting pressure on the next generation of younger women and older single women who rush and get married and have children. These type of lying women are sick and evil because, instead of warning and teaching all single women to remain happily single, they pressure them to walk off the cliff and fall to their death ie marriage to the wrong men and/or having a child with that useless male.
When I was younger, I hated the fact that I was raised by a single mother. But now, as a 32 year old woman, I’m so thankful my mother chose to walk away instead of staying in a toxic relationship. I’ve seen so many women in my life stay in marriages that carve away at their spirit. It’s so sad😔 So good on her for leaving. Side note: I want to come to the meet and greet but I’m scared since I not very good and dressing up and I don’t want to look like a fish out of water 😅
Darling, but that is why you must go!! Go and get ALL the ideas on how to do this from Fumination writ large, and maybe even from Fumi herself!!! Nothing but love in here. If anybody tries to judge you then they are not being true to the ideals of Fumination. ❤
Please don't let clothes stop you meeting people and possibly making worthwhile connections. UA-cam is always there to teach you how to create an outfit to fit you from what you already have. It doesn't have to be a designer, just clean is good enough. Anybody that makes you feel less than isn't worth your time and remember we all bought the same ticket 😉👍🏾
Congratulations. I hope that you have reflected and done the self work to make this next step successful. We often attract what we are. Wishing you well.
I’m with your sister I’ve been married 40 years, but I agree with everything you said because you have to have a clear mind to raise children and my sister. Yes you can do it by yourself. And yes it’s harder. And yes it would be easier if you had a partner, but your partner has to put in 50%, your partner has to put in 75% of the work you do. I bless you and I’m praying for you.
Now this was a great segment 💪🏾💯. I don't have any children but the message was powerful and I'm sure a lot of FUMI NATION needed this reminder, thanks 👑 FUMI 🙏❤️
I felt her first and third reason. Parenting while feeling single with a broken heart is another type of mental break you just don’t want to stay in. I’m transitioning from married mom to single mom and I was not prepared for it but it’s always go go go. I needed this ❤
I’d say she needs to do the inner work it starts with self! What are the red flags she’s not picking up or even ignoring when dealing with men/relationships? How is she vetting these men? Does she have a type? Is she dating for potential? Are they even aligned? No one marries to divorce but after the second time it gets to the point when you may be the problem. Has she ever gone to therapy to do the inner work and healing needed before entering a relationship let’s hope she does it now and settles down even if that’s single
As always Queen Fumi you are spot on. The issue is a lot of women stay unhappily married becos they lack a true sense of their own identity. Being called Mrs so and so rather than be a single parent and emotionally happy... they will be suffering in silence. A lot of people care about how they seem to others rather than showing their children what true happiness and a home filled with love looks like ....
There’s no coming back Fumi one life one chance to leave in this planet so do your best and leave your best life in the God Almighty we serve . Great show ,great clarification and compassion. ❤
Yayyyy. Meet and greettttttttt. I can’t wait. Just in case you need any help planning the one in Nigeria, I’m an event planner and always available to help❤
Fumi..What I learned all men don't want children in the relationship many time we want an extension of him and we want the babies.. He want peace with us if he doesn't ask for children don't give him children.
I agree with her a thousand percent because I was a single mother in a married house. It wasn't a home it broke me down so much I almost lost my mind and my sanity
Totally agree with you sister. Not staying just for the children, they grow and leave the nest. Doing alone for many is TOUGH but comparing that to staying. Chile plz. Peace of mind is super important.
Fumi soon your birthday is April and that horoscope sign is powerful, strong minded and very independent also beautiful calm people.but straight out spoken 😁I'm praying for your reaches of twenty thousand 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼.
Mrs. Fumi, you look amazing that red lipstick should not be called MVP it should be called hypnotic. So this video is so eye-opening because many women are being judged because of this decision this woman made. I agree with her as well. I don't believe in staying with someone if they are no longer in love with me. I will not sacrifice my happiness or my children just because I want to stay married because I want to keep up the appearance of society. Hell to the No! Happy Friday Fumi Nation.
Thank you fumi, for encouragement because I totally agree with her. Motivation for me to process my three divorce and continue to be strong enough to get through it
Fumi ....you've cemented everything I believe in.....I am dying to me in jamaica 🇯🇲 😩...love episode life is so unfair but you have to love yourself first.
I agree with you I had 5 children 2 deceased and never married because of abuse of all magnitudes sure I wanted the love and compassion but it is better to be happy with love of my family than miserable with a man who has known no love because my children are my life 😢😮😅❤❤❤❤❤
Yes that’s why me and my daughters father separated. He assured me we would be creating a family together both working hard together. Nope!!! Couldn’t take it no more he had to go I started to hate him I was losing love
Wow this was my situation last year. Word for word, my goodness. Why are some of these little boys presenting as grown men, just a waste of time and space. Smh. I just pray for the parents that have to do it by themselves, when they do not have the village needed. You got this, one thing at a time, one day at a time. It's not easy at all.
I just love you. Honestly I didn’t want to click this video as I thought it would be a bash single mothers video like the rest of the internet. I don’t have kids, never been married and I cringe at how a lot if these “perfect” women online say someone is not accountable and they are the problem. How dare you? I also hate when men or women say choose wisely.. why? Because all I’ve ever done is pray and help the men I’ve dated and most have taken and broken my heart. How is it now that the woman is a villain. Im not disputing that some pick poorly or lack accountability but there aren’t as many good men out there as you think
Thank You Fumi, she is so right, you are so right I rise my daughter all by myself yes it was very hard with just one child but I made it, my daughter went to college and know she is a power house she works for the government as a manager, and know I have three grand children, the man ended up wanting to see her before he died I don't no what for everything was said and done I had scrap and scrap to take care of me and her. But GOD help me. After all those years I'm still single but that's the way I want it. Men have changed a lot from my eara
(*Asking for the Sisters*)😊 Fumaaay!! I hope you will allocate some time in your Birthday Meet & Greet event for a dj to play some MUSIC.💙 On such a joyful and commemoratory occasion, your sisters will need to get down and shake a tail feather...for YOU!! ...Please & T'anks!🇹🇹
Awesome video. Glad my mum walked away! She raised two wonderful girls who have their v card even in their 30s. We refuse to settle for less but trusting God to connect us with the men he has manufactured for us! As my pastor put it lol!
Benjamin Zulu said once - it's better to be happy Single than lonely and miserable in Marriage. Also better happy in Married than miserable while Single. The point is ...your Mental health, happiness and well-being should always be a priority ✨️.
This is whyI left my husband 25 years ago. He felt that because he was working he didn’t have to do anything else. I was also working and had a 2 year old and a 2 month old with no help from him. I saved up, got an apartment, furnished it without him knowing and moved out with my boys. I felt like I was a single mother anyway. I needed to raise my sons in peace. It was the best thing I could have ever done. They will soon be 25 and 27 and I couldn’t be more proud of them.
🙌🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
My heart. So proud of you.
Lol you did that? I take it that way spoke to him about it but he never listened?
Amen 🙏
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
If there was a thing we could teach young girls....it is to choose a partner not based on feelings only but on how mature they are too.
If Aunt Fumi happens to know a course one can take, whether psychology or something, I'm willing to take it. The reality is not every male is supposed to procreate; look at animals....the weaklings don't get a pass. Only human beings, supposed to be better mammals, give weaklings that pass.
No, you choose a man based on his ability to provide and protect. Even the BIBLE clearly teaches this. If he cannot or will NOT provide for you and protect you, STOP dating the LOSER!
Always practise Hypergamy.
@Vivien Mary-B Well said, that's because modern women have fallen for romantic love. Since the beginning of time until only 100 years ago, women married and reproduced with men for financial security. So called romantic love was for the poor, and it still is for the poor! Love doesn't pay the rent and love has an expiry date on it. So date and marry for financial security, ladies.
By nature females whether human or animals, birds etc mate/marry up with the BEST males.
@Vivien Mary-B Go and watch two UA-camrs who will help you with the information you need:
1. Chrystal Swirlz
2. Shera7
These women will give you a very good breakdown on how to spot AND avoid useless Beta males.
In a nutshell, a USELESS beta male does not FINANCIALLY provide and protect his woman. FACTS!
@@vivienmary-b4469 Right. I was literally just thinking this to myself. 😂 A lot of men are truly lucky what women have societal pressure and a biological clock because if women had more time, most of them wouldn’t have even got the time of day let alone the opportunity to pass on their lineages. 😂 this is why they can’t stand picky women who do not care to fit into societal standards. They know they have no upper hand with women that do not care about all of that stuff. 😂😴
I agree with many of her reasons too - but after divorce #2 I would expect someone to realize their choice of men and/or their own flaws probably are part of the problem. Repeating the cycle of breaking up families is just as, if not more, detrimental to the kids and to the woman herself. It's piling trauma on top of trauma...
I couldn’t agree with you more! This is exactly what I was thinking. Only reason I could think of is perhaps she just now realized this and is now choosing to be on her own and not re-marry. It always confuses me how people can make the same mistake repeatedly and not learn the lesson but I have to remember everyone learns differently. 😅
I promise you 85% of men these days are trash. No matter how much many of us women re-evaluate our lives, disappointments still happen, it’s not us, it’s these men these days. Can I tell you that I was on several dating sites and I couldn’t find one good man out of hundreds and I am not exaggerating. Either, some said they are not looking for a fling neither looking for a LTR, some said they just want something casual, others said they are in town and want friends with benefits and it goes on and on. It’s crazy! What do women do who doesn’t want to commit adultery or fornication? They get married..soon after the marriage doesn’t work. It’s either we stay single or choose one of these losers. It’s sad. You’ll say their are good men out there and no doubt, just a few but consider the ratio of women to the few good men. In fact, most, if not all are already taken. Sadly It’s the world we live in.
I agree
@@lillypieisme I agree with you 💯
My sentiments exactly. I was getting ready to comment the same thing.
Fumi, the American dream exists but you got to be asleep to experience it. That is why it is called a dream 🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂😂
😂😂😂😂😂😢😢😢
I'd never heard the phrase of "parenting with a broken heart" before....that one was deep.
I know , what she meant
@@loisbullock3151 🥺🤗❤
@@gracegeorge7285 🥺🤗❤
Fumi... I have felt how she felt however, I would not get married a second time until I heal from the first marraige and analyze what I have to do better and know the red flags before I marry again.
This. Too many women jump from one bad relationship to another. And advising doesn't always work. Many still take the advice in one ear out the other. The best thing to happen to me, was think like a woman act like a man the book. I left my ex when I found out he was cheating through all five years of our relationship. Almost thirteen years later, i met a guy who loves me for me. Fumi is dropping pearls. We need to pick them up. Have a man, only when it's a good place to be. Because you deserve better. No parenting with a broken heart.
Yes, but I know several people who are married and divorced twice, or more. Each time they think the guy is the one until they are not. Women are lonely and want to give the guy a chance because they don't want to be alone.
Facts!
It takes a special kind of courage to walk away from a marriage and choose to raise kids alone. She's braver than me because I would have given up after the 2nd marriage failed. I pray God sends her all the help and resources she'll need to raise those kids well🙏🏽🙏🏽
I am 45 years old and I tried to freeze my eggs after trying over and over again and trying to hold on for a committed relationship. Frozen eggs have an expiration date too. Now, I am done and content with my 2 dogs at home.
❤
Yes, sis! The key word is content. 👐🏾 👐🏾 ❤️
I just love you girl! You can't come & kill yourself.
💗
Purrrfect, Catherine. I think more and more women are realising that having a child or children is another brain washing myth that little girls and women have been fed for so long. Having a child will NOT make you happy. It may give you a sense of responsibility but it will not a) make you more happy, b) wealthy, or c) loved more by anyone, especially a man.
I am happy with my loving cat and amazing friends and extended family. Having a man is a just a cherry on top of my already beautiful cake of a life.
Tell it Fumi!! I went through a divorce 3 children, juggling everything by myself, but I did it for the kids. Today they are grown...thank God for seeing us through. 🙏
Fumi I swear, you are empowering us more and more with each new episode! Where were you when I was in my 20s???? Please consider writing a book on self love and life experiences, and maybe another book on beauty and make up! You are brilliant.
I agree with what the lady said, I hope her life will only improve from now on. You go girl! You’ve got this.
Hopefully she will see this comment
I agree; this hit me hard because this is where I am in my relationship. I feel drained, overworked, under-appreciated, and used.
I feel betrayed because I thought he was more of a man in the beginning than now. I feel like a housemaid and a damn enslaved person, lol.
It's painful, but whenever we as women speak up, we are labeled as selfish and ungrateful for what a man who never helped to care for his child and his household 🤔
I don't want a relationship to show to say I have one. I feel I would instead be alone than unhappy.
So do something about it! Yes it’s easier said then done but your time isn’t going to come back you accept what you allow! You can have better and things can change but it starts with you :)
I was where you are now. I tried marriage counseling but they did not want to put in the effort. The marriage ended in 2016 but I dragged my feet in filing for divorce. I finally did in 2019. I have been so stress free and taking better care of myself. Only you can decide what is best for you and your family. I wish you all the best moving forward.
My love is with you. I left with three kids after 7 years of marriage. Make the best decision for you - those who love you will want the best for you. I must admit I had to cut off a significant amount of family before I left to keep myself sane and positive.
Speak to the creator of the universe to guide you on your way.
I could relate to u and how u feel but what I can say I'm happy now ☺ . I left , I traveled and spent three months out of the country it helped and now I'm back home healthy and happy just not with him. I'm still single but I am just loving my self. U will smile again my dear. Love ❤ u first. 💐
I left my marriage ❤. I’m doing really well.😊.
This is crazy. You articulated exactly how I felt in my marriage and why I left.
Same here
Marriage is not all that its cracked out to be, yet we keep telling single women to get a man and get married, when we damn well well know that marriage is created for men's benefit only. That's why very smart women get married PRIMARILY for the coin$, not love ❤️
Fumi you hit the nail on the head. I learned my lesson with my daughter's father. I never married him thank God I had enough sense to say no to his proposal twice and walk away. But he taught me what I didn't want. And I never let another man put me in that situation again.
My situation exactly and precisely why I was one and done! 😊. Moved to another state, seen my daughter through Ap/Honor classes throughout her school yrs, college, marriage and am so proud of... the woman, wife and mother she is today!🤗. I thank God every day and my parents upbringing... for giving me the discernment I needed...for being a great parent and now a grandparent! 🙏🧘🙏🥰🥰🥰
Love the lippie! The earrings are to die for 😊
I agree! you shouldn't stay with your husband if the marriage is not working and can't be fixed! However getting married and divorce over and over again will traumatize your kids also.
Maybe you should heal first and learn how to recognize red flags.
When you become a parent your kids come first!
Focus on your kids and your healing.
Maybe later on you will find true and healthy love 🧡
What she said about parenting with a broken heart hit me A LOT! I suffered as a teen when my parent's marriage hit the rocks. I was 19,and in trouble, that was when I realized how emotionally disconnected my mom was from me, and I couldn't go to her for the support I had needed and always gotten from her.
But, to go through another marriage without healing her heart was all on her. She was definitely not healed from the first divorce before she went into the following ones; otherwise, she'd not be in this situationa gain. Thanks Aunty Fumi for your take on this.
I love you Fumi, I agree with her reasons. I am also divorced and I did not want to be married in name alone and in a disfunctional situation so I got a divorce. It was scary at the time, but I did not believe I would be my best self if I stayed in that situation. No women should be used and abused by men who claim to love them. You can stand on your own two feet, and get it done.
I did to. I feel great 😊 ❤. Men these days expect you to do everything….and still want dinner on the table. And it’s really a struggle trying to make the marriage work when his sex is bad. Ain’t getting nothing. So.. bye.
I grew up with a single broken hearted mom and YES it’s hard. She did not say anything wrong I was in relationships that were toxic and when I got out I was able to be my best self. I don’t believe in being miserable to stay in any relationship, I don’t believe in staying with someone because everyone likes them but you are not happy being with them. Love yourself, find happiness within you and find your peace within yourself and you will attract love in your life.
All on point, especially the part about keeping your legs shut while in the early stages of dating. Opening them too soon, I’m most cases, is literally giving a part of yourself to someone (who oftentimes does not deserve it) and it creates soul ties! It’s an exchange of energy on a level that I believe many women don’t fully understand and it causes them to lose their power and get hurt. Allow a man to prove to you WHY he is worthy of such a precious gift, and stop accepting the bare minimum! This not only saves you from potential heartbreak, but also allows space and time for him to reveal who he truly is ❤ The question is, will you be paying attention?
Everyone doesn’t get it right on the first, second, third or fourth try. Hell some of us may not have a relationship with someone else that fits into this happily ever after box. But what’s most important is the relationship we have with ourselves.
Very well said
Elizabeth Taylor comes to mind and that is not to demean her either.
I love this
Totally agree!!
But number you need to see therapy and stay alone, instead of selfishly let your kids go through men after men after men. Bonding with different men and seeing unstable marriages. If she has a daughter her daughter has seen a terrible example. And her son terrible men
My mom always says..The mouth that a man uses to court you it's not the same one he uses to carry on..Sometimes even when the fruit looks appetising there is worm under the skin..ITS a periodic process..Hello sis your lipstick is dynamite..Love you to pieces😍
Deep worm underneath.
She's absolutely correct, my GG told all of her Great grandchildren "You can do bad all by Yourself , If anything doesn't serve you get rid of it".❤
I agree with her 110% too. I was young, dumb, naive, very sheltered and married when I just turned 20 y.y. I hurt my ex-husband dearly and he did to me as well. It was SO SO difficult. 💯 However, NOW - I'm in my early 40s and I thank my ex-husband for divorcing me. My personal internal eternal peace is through the roof. Now I'm officially ready as a great wife and I treasure my peace. As I 💕 my life now! I'd rather be single at peace. If ever necessary, again. 💯 💯
This is a wonderful episode. You did justice to it. I just want to add that the lady might also want to go for counselling or a healing session that'll kind of free her from attracting those kind of me.
I agree with the lady 1000000%. Hence another reason women should never judge another woman when we see she’s of a certain age and she’s single or never married. She has chosen to not tolerate or accept certain behaviors. More power to her.
👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Ms Fumi is on a roll ! ..and I’m loving it !👸🏾💪🏽🙏🏼
Fumi. You preached on this one. I Loved ❤it!! All God’s continued best to you 🙏🏾
Fumi, I am going through a similiar experience as this lady. And I must say, walking away has reinstated my happiness and sense of purpose in this life. *God bless*
I’m so happy that you understood what she was saying. I’ve only been married once and people don’t understand why I didn’t try harder for the kids. But it was like having 6 children with no stability on his part. And once we share a son he become so jealous of his own child. I can honestly say I am in a better mental, physical emotional and spiritual place. I am ready for love now but have my fears.
I've read ppl say they would have preferred their parents divorced instead of staying together "for the kids". The staying together for the kids only ensured they were raised in a toxic environment cos their parents obviously couldn't stand each other.
Whew. I was in TEARS when Auntie Fumi started talking about her stammer. I am SOOOO proud. Cheers. 🥂
Yes!!!! This is how I felt exactly and it was KILLING ME! now Tim in the best days of my life! Go and don't look back. If anybody can't understand your decision, that's not your business that's their problem.
I 100% agreeeeee. Jeff can go sit somewhere else
Simply put, if a man is not a problem solver, then he will DEFINITELY be a problem. Majority of divorces are due to lack of or mishandling of finances; no man alive is sexy enough for me to be homeless with him. Another large issue is rating men for "potential" instead of vetting him through his actions, and she had rose-colored glasses on for 3 separate husbands. No shade to this lady, but if she had stopped after the 1st divorce, focused on her, started therapy, and worked on her inner self (these men didn't pick themselves for her, and she may have a "type" she keeps marrying), maybe she wouldn't be nursing heartbreak right now. She stated that her grandparents and parents had longstanding successful marriages, but is that more of a reflection of their love, the relationship standards at the time, or her "stargazing" from outside their respective relationships? It's hard to believe that she would end up thrice divorced if she had great relationships present in her life to model her own after. My guess is mom and grandma dealt with plenty that they didn't reveal to her since it was unheard of to air dirty laundry back then, even within families. I agree that it's better to be alone than in a worthless relationship with essentially an adult child; let him go back to his mom to finish his raising, because that's not your job. I hope that not only is she going to therapy, but that she has her children in therapy as well, because that's a lot of upheaval for a child, and dealing with a heart-broken parent may make them feel invisible, neglected, or that they're somehow at fault for mommy's sadness. I wish her health, happiness, clarity, and most of all, peace.
Best comment everything starts from self!
🎯
Great points she mentioned in her video. Sis just ask God to guide you before getting married a fourth time. Your three points are excellent and should resonate with every single and married woman.
I agree with the woman in the video. The situation is sad. She left and hopefully avoided generational pathology. Dysfunction is passed down generations. Hurt people hurt people. Don't let this dysfunction ruin the lives of the children. They are doomed to repeat it as young adults and adults.
Thank you for sharing, Fumi. I love your advice.
I never even got married or had children because I never met someone I felt was right for a husband/father. I also hear and see women around me struggle and it is not what I want. My mother had 3 disfunctional relationships (1 marriage) and I wish she had just remained single, especially when I was older to be able to help more.
Good for you! You missed two bullets ie marriage and having a child. Both are expensive and burdensome, emotionally demanding and both WILL age you FAST. Not worth it in my books. It's ALSO crazy that there are many miserable women with unhappy marriages, rotten children etc putting pressure on the next generation of younger women and older single women who rush and get married and have children. These type of lying women are sick and evil because, instead of warning and teaching all single women to remain happily single, they pressure them to walk off the cliff and fall to their death ie marriage to the wrong men and/or having a child with that useless male.
You better preach today I agree, 100, 200%❤❤❤❤
When I was younger, I hated the fact that I was raised by a single mother. But now, as a 32 year old woman, I’m so thankful my mother chose to walk away instead of staying in a toxic relationship.
I’ve seen so many women in my life stay in marriages that carve away at their spirit. It’s so sad😔 So good on her for leaving.
Side note: I want to come to the meet and greet but I’m scared since I not very good and dressing up and I don’t want to look like a fish out of water 😅
Your mama made a good choice to leave
Darling, but that is why you must go!! Go and get ALL the ideas on how to do this from Fumination writ large, and maybe even from Fumi herself!!! Nothing but love in here. If anybody tries to judge you then they are not being true to the ideals of Fumination. ❤
Go to the meet and geeting you will be alright, You could follow Fumi and match up Ur clothing
Please don't let clothes stop you meeting people and possibly making worthwhile connections. UA-cam is always there to teach you how to create an outfit to fit you from what you already have. It doesn't have to be a designer, just clean is good enough. Anybody that makes you feel less than isn't worth your time and remember we all bought the same ticket 😉👍🏾
Go Sis, the Fumination will embrace you❣🙂
She is right....married 3 times and divorced all... engaged to marry again this yr.....I refuse to stay in abuse and neglect and unhappy...I approve
Then there is still hope for me. Never been married at 41 and 0 children. I do desire to get married to the right man thou.
Congratulations. I hope that you have reflected and done the self work to make this next step successful. We often attract what we are. Wishing you well.
Love you Fumi! Your laugh is infectious!Can’t wait to see you in the US!!😘
Fumi, you are gorgeous with or without those lashes.
I didn't realize how much I needed this video....needed to hear someone else say it out loud. Thank you for this!
I’m with your sister I’ve been married 40 years, but I agree with everything you said because you have to have a clear mind to raise children and my sister. Yes you can do it by yourself. And yes it’s harder. And yes it would be easier if you had a partner, but your partner has to put in 50%, your partner has to put in 75% of the work you do. I bless you and I’m praying for you.
I really appreciate your consistency with your videos. I look forward to them daily ❤️
Now this was a great segment 💪🏾💯. I don't have any children but the message was powerful and I'm sure a lot of FUMI NATION needed this reminder, thanks 👑 FUMI 🙏❤️
Thank you for the wonderful advice you are giving to the young people 😘
Once was enough for me. I've been there and done that. I don't need a man to feel complete. "Boy" bye!!!
I admire her courage and self-awareness
I felt her first and third reason. Parenting while feeling single with a broken heart is another type of mental break you just don’t want to stay in.
I’m transitioning from married mom to single mom and I was not prepared for it but it’s always go go go. I needed this ❤
I’d say she needs to do the inner work it starts with self! What are the red flags she’s not picking up or even ignoring when dealing with men/relationships? How is she vetting these men? Does she have a type? Is she dating for potential? Are they even aligned? No one marries to divorce but after the second time it gets to the point when you may be the problem. Has she ever gone to therapy to do the inner work and healing needed before entering a relationship let’s hope she does it now and settles down even if that’s single
As always Queen Fumi you are spot on. The issue is a lot of women stay unhappily married becos they lack a true sense of their own identity. Being called Mrs so and so rather than be a single parent and emotionally happy... they will be suffering in silence. A lot of people care about how they seem to others rather than showing their children what true happiness and a home filled with love looks like ....
I agree with you 100%. She’s learning from her brokenness. She will come out stronger 👍🏽
There’s no coming back Fumi one life one chance to leave in this planet so do your best and leave your best life in the God Almighty we serve . Great show ,great clarification and compassion. ❤
I cannot wait to see you in Trinidad and Tobago, auntie Fumi💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽
Yayyyy. Meet and greettttttttt. I can’t wait. Just in case you need any help planning the one in Nigeria, I’m an event planner and always available to help❤
Thank You Fumi. 100+% with you on this one.
Aunty Fumi you sold me that lipstick I’m getting it right away. You look fabulous as usual😍
Fumi..What I learned all men don't want children in the relationship many time we want an extension of him and we want the babies.. He want peace with us if he doesn't ask for children don't give him children.
not all, i agree the end part
PEACE is priceless. Let that be understood.
Well my, very well said as I knew you would. Love it!❤❤❤
I TOTALLY AGREE WITH HER. !!! YOU CAN DO BAD BY YOURSELF , YOU DON'T NEED HELP IN THAT AREA. !!!!
Fumi, you so understood the assignment! You’re a blessing.
I agree with her a thousand percent because I was a single mother in a married house. It wasn't a home it broke me down so much I almost lost my mind and my sanity
Looking forward to seeing you in Jamaica
That shade is everything on you! I live and I love!!!😍😍😍
Love the lip, you don’t need lashes, you are beautiful as you wanna be sis PERIOD! I love listening to your words of wisdom!!🤎🤎
These earrings are FABULOUSSSS!!!
FUMI….FUMI….FUMI….May God bless you for speaking the truth. There is something soooo painful about DISLIKING the person you love.
My experience too....😏😏ABSOLUTELY TRUE ! 👌🏽
Fumi I can relate to the experience you shared. Learn late that giving them my body is for them not for me. Left used as you said
Love the lip color💋💋💋
Totally agree with you sister. Not staying just for the children, they grow and leave the nest. Doing alone for many is TOUGH but comparing that to staying. Chile plz. Peace of mind is super important.
Fumi soon your birthday is April and that horoscope sign is powerful, strong minded and very independent also beautiful calm people.but straight out spoken 😁I'm praying for your reaches of twenty thousand 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼.
Mrs. Fumi, you look amazing that red lipstick should not be called MVP it should be called hypnotic. So this video is so eye-opening because many women are being judged because of this decision this woman made. I agree with her as well. I don't believe in staying with someone if they are no longer in love with me. I will not sacrifice my happiness or my children just because I want to stay married because I want to keep up the appearance of society. Hell to the No! Happy Friday Fumi Nation.
Again, PREACH IT Ms. Fumi!!! 1100% aggreed!
You are inspiring mama 💕.
flawless
Yeah Fumi Hunney💋 Preach Sister,Preach✊👊 I Will Rather Choose Peace,Then Being In Pieces...👏👏👏
Thank you fumi, for encouragement because I totally agree with her. Motivation for me to process my three divorce and continue to be strong enough to get through it
Fumi ....you've cemented everything I believe in.....I am dying to me in jamaica 🇯🇲 😩...love episode life is so unfair but you have to love yourself first.
It is said you teach people how to treat you. I cant stop a bird from landing on my head, but I can prevent it from building a nest there.
I agree with you I had 5 children 2 deceased and never married because of abuse of all magnitudes sure I wanted the love and compassion but it is better to be happy with love of my family than miserable with a man who has known no love because my children are my life 😢😮😅❤❤❤❤❤
Yes that’s why me and my daughters father separated. He assured me we would be creating a family together both working hard together. Nope!!! Couldn’t take it no more he had to go I started to hate him I was losing love
Wow this was my situation last year. Word for word, my goodness. Why are some of these little boys presenting as grown men, just a waste of time and space. Smh. I just pray for the parents that have to do it by themselves, when they do not have the village needed. You got this, one thing at a time, one day at a time. It's not easy at all.
Darling don't mind the lashes you look gorgeous.
Ms. Fumi, you look fabulous darling in your red lips, loving it💋
I just love you. Honestly I didn’t want to click this video as I thought it would be a bash single mothers video like the rest of the internet. I don’t have kids, never been married and I cringe at how a lot if these “perfect” women online say someone is not accountable and they are the problem. How dare you? I also hate when men or women say choose wisely.. why? Because all I’ve ever done is pray and help the men I’ve dated and most have taken and broken my heart. How is it now that the woman is a villain. Im not disputing that some pick poorly or lack accountability but there aren’t as many good men out there as you think
Thank You Fumi, she is so right, you are so right I rise my daughter all by myself yes it was very hard with just one child but I made it, my daughter went to college and know she is a power house she works for the government as a manager, and know I have three grand children, the man ended up wanting to see her before he died I don't no what for everything was said and done I had scrap and scrap to take care of me and her. But GOD help me. After all those years I'm still single but that's the way I want it. Men have changed a lot from my eara
I will not be a married single mom nope. I will be alone and be happier
I knew something was missing with your make up, Fumi.. it's the lashes😍. I just love your honest repertoire.
(*Asking for the Sisters*)😊
Fumaaay!! I hope you will allocate some time in your Birthday Meet & Greet event for a dj to play some MUSIC.💙
On such a joyful and commemoratory occasion, your sisters will need to get down and shake a tail feather...for YOU!!
...Please & T'anks!🇹🇹
I can't wait for you to come to South Africa
Meanwhile I wrote down the red 💄 MVP by fenty coz I live for it too ❤
Thanks Aunty Fumms
Awesome video. Glad my mum walked away! She raised two wonderful girls who have their v card even in their 30s. We refuse to settle for less but trusting God to connect us with the men he has manufactured for us! As my pastor put it lol!
Eeeeem, i opened the video just to check that beautiful makeup!
This red wooooooo 🔥😍
❤️ from Nigeria Funmi.
Pastor Fumi is preaching up in here!!!!!!!!!!Lawrd!!!!!!
Good Morning Beautiful Queen ❤️
I agree with her as well, thanks for sharing this!
Benjamin Zulu said once - it's better to be happy Single than lonely and miserable in Marriage. Also better happy in Married than miserable while Single. The point is ...your Mental health, happiness and well-being should always be a priority ✨️.