You Must Do THIS To Get Your Ex Back!
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- Опубліковано 8 лип 2024
- Get your Ex back the HEALTHY way.
This video is a summation of the steps you'll want to follow to best increase the chance of a healthy reconciliation with your Ex while improving your life for YOU!
Coach with Rory: www.TheLoveChat.net/Coaching
Get professional therapy (ad): www.BetterHelp.com/Rory
Rory (The Love Chat) explains that the truth is your Ex comes back (IF they come back) when you least expect it. Moving on from a painful relationship doesn’t mean you don’t think of your Ex attractively. Attraction comes when you give them the breakup, back away, don't contact them, and focus on making yourself calmer and more attractive through self-work. - Навчання та стиль
He reached out after 1 year and 8 months, begging and throwing apologies here and there. The thought of taking him back felt like an insult to my healing journey. I just shut him down. So yeah go no contact and focus on you.
So so so proud of you!
@@TheLoveChat thanks to you Rory. Be blessed.
You go girl!! Never take an ex who dumped you. My ex dumped me last summer July 2021 and he blocked me for 2 months and unblocked me and he worn stop texting/calling now. I’ve been ignoring him. So he showed up at my new gym back in 12/14/2021 and I switched to anew gym again, he showed up there on August 2022 and I switched anew gym again. He wont stop. I’ve moved on… it hurt sooo bad that I cried for months now he’s trying to come back. I don’t want to see him ever again!!! So girl.. don’t take him back… let them enjoy the loss.
Here here. I had a similar situation. Out of nowhere leading with I love you and I miss (all while having a new boyfriend on her profile page). So I just let her have it in the most neutral caring way possible. Pointed out the impact her self-centered behavior is having on others. I actually think she was unaware because she always chalked the haters up to "slut shamers.". No I'm inconsiderate/self-centered shaming you.
You’re so lucky! 🙏
I had trouble going no contact the first month. After that I managed to pull it off. Journaling and talking to friends. After 3months she initiated contact about getting money back that she had gifted me. As we met on that pretexts we hung out and I tried to keep things light but she always brought up the relationship near the end of the meetings. After 2 meetings that ended up on bed she is asking for forgiveness, taking responsibility, and wanting to be together again. I agreed with the understanding we will work on the things that we used to not talk about. We are together again, happy, and determined to make it work. Just to help others out : she has told me that even though she broke it off she spent a lot of time crying off and on. Listening to music we liked. She wanted to get back together but was scared to reach out which is why she decided to use the gift/debt as an excuse.
This can work. It did for me. It's going to hurt like hell and you might feel like the anxiety and the pain will kill you, but give it a chance. It took 8 months no contact from me and now we're married. Just try it. You are strong enough.
I would like to hear your break up story time
❤️
Better Help was awesome! Love the channel. To anyone going through this, the love chat is a great channel to lean on. I'm a year and a half out from my divorce and I STILL have some anxious thoughts from time to time. Keep moving forward. It gets easier
Great advice love the video Rory
REMEMBER IF THEY DID YOU WRONG ON PURPOSE ..... DON'T TAKE THEM BACK . YOUR LINGERING FEELINGS WILL COME TO THE LIGHT AND YOU'LL SEE THEY ARE NOT WORTH YOUR TIME ..!
Thanks again Rory
Stay strong boys.
She asked for space and I was completely blind sided. I gave her the space she needed, didn't push, had self imposed restrictions on contacting her and when I finally did (I reached out first which isn't optimal but so long as you play your cards right and let an appropriate amount of time pass I don't see the harm) we, slowly, picked up right where we left off. But that's the goal. If she gives you an inch you'll want to take 10 miles. It's tempting but you have to work for the outcome you want. Relationships shouldn't be work but this is also a time for working on yourself.
Just read the room and see where she is. If you have a nice conversation and you send a smile emoji, she'll send a heart. You send a heart, she'll send two. You send two, she'll send a flirty gif. You send one back, she'll call you late at night just asking to hear your voice. Let her take the reigns. It's more than likely she was the one who asked for distance so she wouldn't be ready for you to swoop right in.
In my opinion there aren't too many instances where it's truly 'over'. If the relationship ended badly with cheating or abuse, she's in a very serious relationship with someone else, engaged/married, or she blocked you on something then I would say you throw in the towel. But if you truly think you're meant to be and you feel like moving on isn't something that should happen then be patient, listen to Rory's advice (cause IMO he's the best coach on UA-cam) and remember why you're going through this in the first place.
You don't just have a crush or are lustful. Those come and go. You're in love. And I know, unreciprocated love is the worst feeling in the world. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But reciprocated love is the best feeling in the world. Two months ago I thought it was over. I thought I would suffer for a long time with these feelings. Now we're stronger than we've ever been. The same will happen to you if do everything you can right. You want to spend a long time with this person right? Well then it's an outcome worth waiting for.
Stay strong, have some patience, lead a fulfilling life and you'll get your dream girl. If it worked for me it can sure as hell work for you.
How long did you give her a space? Also, did you break up with her?
Thanks for the long heart felt share. Hope things are going well and remember no little ego moment is worth losing who you love x
Looking forward to the "impulse breakup" video
PLEASE READ THIS YOU’RE NOT ALONE ! Please don’t give up on you !
Here’s a little bit of my story I hope it helps someone.
After the breakup I started to watch these videos like a religion and Craig’s Kenneth ones as well and they helped me !
We broke up July 3rd and I felt like it wouldn’t ever get better and everyday kept getting worse and worse , I was cheated for the second time in 3 of my serious relationships and started to have anxiety and panic attacks, I almost gave up in life and everyday I told myself one more day, even tho i didn’t had the strength or the will. I started going to the gym, cooking healthy, taking protéines and créatine ., drinking water , allowed myself to cry when needed and allowed anger to be present when needed, I went to therapy once a week, there was 3 days in this 4 months where I couldn’t get up day all and it’s okay, been over 3 weeks or so that my life started to get better and I started to feel better worked a lot on myself mentally and just last week I met a girl that’s really my type , before I couldn’t find anyone attractive and wanted only my ex back . I’m not telling you it’s gonna be easy, I’m telling you it’s worth the journey.
Here something that might soothe you a little , I saw my ex a couple of weeks ago to get the last of my stuff back and she started crying and said that life hasn’t been better since she left me and didn’t want to work things out, I told her she doesn’t deserve me and she has to work on herself. I was kind and emphatic but realist told her the truths I held for months and I didn’t ask to get back together but neither did she. She said that she thought she didn’t deserve me and I told her that she did before but not after everything that happened.
Also, everybody deserve a second chance, people change and that’s why I don’t hold grudge against anyone cuz I’ve done shit in my past that doesn’t define who I am now. I never cheated tho but I’m not my old me, I’m better and I believe people change and deserve a second chance but they need time apart from us in order to realize.
As I said it won’t be easy but it will be worth it. Take it from me I’m still going through it and almost gave up in life at first. Love you all I know it’s hard but please don’t give up !
Thank you for that, it does help. A lot. But not to be a downer or anything, if you hadn't met someone new and much more importantly, if you hadn't gotten that validation from your ex, do you think you'd be at the stage you're in right now? I'm at the gym, therapy and eating healthy phase. but I'm stuck there and there is SO much left unsaid between me and my ex that it has a daily hold on me - For the time being.
Thanks for sharing. Hearing people out the other side does help. Also good to hear from people leaving serious relationships
Love the new channel colours.
wha
@@TheLoveChat The background when I was watching was a red/maroon colour.
Just saw a comment on another channel to check your channel out for some inspiration. I’m in a very dark place since my lady broke up with me. Not doing well at all.
I will fly to see ex and we both are really excited Of meeting up, we are long distance now and have seen each other for 9 months. He said I can stay in his house. I only go for a few days.
Can you make a video about reconnection and reconciliation with an ex romantically that dumped you years after the breakup and years of no contact?
Thank you again! Though I know all it, it gets worse. Feel like poo. And no, I don't want to contact. I am like a diver who was trained to not to breathe under water even if. But this is the second time (I have written it several days ago). It has got even worse and more painful. I haven't done anything bad in this relationship. I am just became very anxious person in this relationship. It never was shown, I just had it in my chest. I simply feel the worst ever.
It will get better - I promise. Stay true to yourself and focus on what you control.
@@TheLoveChat Thank you, Mr. Rory! I appreciate it! I wish I could more about it, but as i had mentioned, I am from Ukraine and now all is limited. Thank one more time!
One more day brother it will get indeed better even if you don’t believe it !
@@DanielDiaz-mk1hs Guys, thank you all! Stupid or not, I want to cry now. I don't fear the war this way as I fear this situation.
Allow yourself to cry, I know it’s hard , my hearth is with you , I wish I could take some of that feeling away brother. You’re strong you’re a warrior and there’s a reason you found this channel not everybody takes the step to healing! Just don’t give up you’re not alone
This is the third breakup im using these videos on. Got my ex back twice, didnt work out though. This breakup was different though, shes smart and thinks purely rationally. She loves me to bits and oh man the attraction was so there. But she doesnt see me as the father of her kids. Just a feeling she couldnt shake from the beginning. Now after nearly 2 years she broke up. Started nc immediately, lets hope.
Stay strong buddy, I can relate to your story. I'm currently in my second breakup with the same girl. Started NC immediately after the bu. Currently on day 75. Idk what's going to happen, but I will wait
@hustensaftjungling4820 ah I tried it twice on the second one. The first time she came back after 6 months, but 3 weeks of nc. Second time it was really done, no love left. This last one I'm on 3,5 weeks now. We're in the same friend group so she sees me texting to the group sometimes. I'm also wondering very much what she's thinking, I've seen her on 2 dating apps
Hi Rory, what's ur opinión on listening to break up songs when being broken up with. Do you think its reinforcing negative thinking or is it good to listen to them to be able to feel and think about the breakup.
I think this comes down to the individual honestly. I avoid trying to trigger more sadness personally. I don't know that there is one "right" answer.
idk if anyone ever did this but i told my ex to block me if there wasn’t any more chances for us thinking she would keep trying but nope she ended up blocking me. Then suffered for 2 or 3 weeks before i reached out from a secondary account. She said she’s trying to get back to normal as much as she can and doesn’t want to revisit the beginning stages of the break up and told me that i suggested the block and she agreed it was best. Long story short she blocked that account too. I believe it’s over for good this time.
You let your emotions get the best of you bro. I know this comment is from over a year ago, but as the dumpee, when they're breaking up with you, it's always best to take a deep breath, speak your peace (nothing toxic!), then immediately go NC and work on yourself.
@@avenuempire she ended up with someone else 2 months later that didn’t work out. she lost her job then decided to try real estate that didn’t work out. She unblocked me briefly then reblocked me after accusing me of asking people about her. I wish her the best i’m in a new relationship where we both don’t have kids. I’m happy
You can miss someone who is not physically present any longer..they dont see you..cant feel you..or hear you...if you were to send an email...how would that stop them from missing you?
It wouldnt..
what if you have no friends that live near by? how can they take you out?
When your in no contact should you still keep there number, or do you literally get rid of every trace of them?
It's up to you. I typically don't delete numbers unless i know there was no emotional bond between me and the other person.
Hey Rory, dunno if you're going to read this, I'm the guy who was drinking every night after work to numb everything, from the last Livestream, you might remember cause of the name
Anyway, been sober the entire week after Sunday, instead of staying home during this time just playing games and getting fucked up I started coming to the gym a second time, at night, and doing light cardio to burn some extra calories (go at noon normally to do weights, I work from home in my own schedule)
Just wanted to thank you for the attention during sunday's Livestream bro, thankfully I only did it for a handful of months so I'm not getting any withdraw effects not craving for that shit
Hellllllllllllllllllllllllll yes I LOVED reading this. THIS is all it takes. ONE STEP at a time!
Together about a year and a half. She came back a whole year later after i applied no contact right away. Took things slow and made it official 6 months later. Fast forward another year and a half of dating, we split again this most recent September. (Ldr btw) Distance was always the problem, we always had a good connection. Does no contact ever work a second time around?? If the relationship was toxic and unhealthy I wouldn’t bother. But it was always full of love and only good memories. Any advice?
Were you in ldr for the most of your relationship before you broke up the first time around? I'm just curious because I might be in a kinda similar situation since my ex of 7 years broke up with me and we were mostly in ldr too, although we meet and travel together around two times per year and was mostly on skype the most days.
@@iconoclast6555 the first time was long distance, and so was the second time. First time we hardly got to see each other, maybe every 3 months. The second time we got together she lived with me for a few months and then went back home to her family. We continued to see each other every month for about 4-7 days. But even with that being the case we broke up for the same reason both times. It was her that initiated each break up and I personally refuse to allow myself to stay in touch with an ex regardless if there was no harm done. She’s a great person overall but I’ve noticed that in ldr I will tend to over fantasize the person I’m with which makes the moments of in person more special. Also want to say I’m sorry you’re going through something similar, i know how hard it can be. But it’s important to remember that you are the prize in this situation regardless of what happened.
@@SawC7 Thank you for the reply bro. I understand why you're asking for advice if no contact will work a second time around, and I hope Rory or others with more knowledge and experience will reply to you. I do wish the best for both of us. I'm working on myself like Rory said in countless videos, but I do hope contact will work for me also because just like your past relationship with your ex, mine was also mostly positive and non-toxic. It was not being able to meet each other for more than two years since the pandemic that did it for us and she got a stressful job and I wasn't there personally to comfort her. I have a lot of regrets because I know I'm the one who didn't do my best in our relationship, I didn't do my best to go to her even after the restrictions became loose and I got mad at her when she asked for my plans for our future. So, if I get a second chance with her, I would really love that because she deserved more from me.
Change the LD if thats the issue or you are just going to repeat.
If my ex contacts me during No contact and keeps blaming me for the break up...how should I treat her?
"I think we both have some blame in this, i'd like to work on things if you're interested - please only contact me if that's what you're interested in. In the meantime i'm going to be working on myself, take care."
I got broken up with 5 months ago and I still can’t stop thinking about her. I feel like I’ve been doing everything, but all I want to do is reach out to her. How do I keep going no contact with this feeling lingering
I'm going to make a video in the next few days that answers this question. Keep an eye out!
yeah it’s pretty hard. i’m entering month 2 of the break up
Rory has those answers for you in most of his videos. You can't stop thinking about them. Just continue to work on yourself!
Does this apply to ALL attachment styles?
Attachment styles aside, we're still humans. As long as there was some level of emotional bonding and you weren't abusive, they always seem to come back at some point. Obviously, given they haven't married or passed away.
Can anybody here tell me why after a 4 years serious relationship, I had sex with my ex after 1 month of the break up and he called me "walk of shame" I dont think I’ll ever get over him calling me that, why would a guy say that??
You or your worth are not defined by how cruelly somebody else treats you. If he said that to you then it says more about him than it does about you. It says he is not a good person and isn't somebody you should value at all. If you can acknowledge that the power and truth of his statement is naught.
Using eft tapping videos has helped me tremendously. It helped me stop drinking alcohol…I was binge drinking 1-2 time a week. But now I haven’t had any for a month and somehow it wasn’t hard! I just didn’t feel like having it anymore. It has helped negative self talk. Recently I’ve been using it to clear childhood issues and I found I have much less resistance to things I usually avoid like exercise.
What if you only dated a short time?
Still works in my experience. But there has to be some level of emotional connection for them to come back. If there wasn't any emotional bonding then flip a coin..
Does no contact work if your ex has moved on?
No contact is for you, and your personal growth. No Contact is not a tool to "make" your ex do anything. Since it is for you - yes it works.
Work with me here: www.TheLoveChat.net/Coaching
Our Discord Community: discord.gg/bnFYpHnm
she broke up with me 2 weeks ago. we are in the same army company( so we are bound see each other). she adored the love and affection i gave her and she was happy to be with me and vice versa but: 1. she didnt believe in sharing her baggage that she was dealing with and 2. she didnt think she was ready to balance her ambitions with a relationship just yet. I listened and feebly told her to stop creating a negative future to what might occur. She agreed we were compatible, had chemistry and it felt good and right but something was telling her she wasn't ready just yet. I am a spiritual person too. I respected her decision. a week later, i spoke to her and told her the "when you feel ready, give me a call, we cannot be friends, I want you romantically only" spiel. Haven't spoken since. We were dating for about a month. What do i do? still doing no contact but it hurts. We meshed so naturally and seamlessly that I am reeling more than i did in past longer relationships. I would have been happy to work through her baggage with her. I am not a savior but having someone next to you, knowing you are supported whiles you are figuring things out could be an added bonus, you know? Her friend thinks she is self-sabotaging and ending things to avoid possible hurt in the future. She ended a good thing before we could see where it went. The foundation was strong and it hurts so much that it ended. I won't lie, i hope she changes her mind in the future when she feels ready to date again. and i hope it will be me that she wants back. Any helpful comments will be appreciated.
Sounds like she may need some therapy. She has some barriers holding her back from really experiencing intimacy with you. Self-sabotage is possible. If you decide to do coaching you can give me more info and I can give a better answer.