This entire stream was a diversion so now when you look up “jerma drug dealer” you find this instead of the multiple times he was arrested in Boston for drug distribution
He was my drug dealer between 2010 and 2019. I mean he was my actual drug dealer in real life. Crazy boutique type designer chemicals that’ll cook your soul. This isn’t a meme. Every club on the east coast pushed his product. I knew kids who carved up their own faces trying to “reach their own nightmares”. My ex almost devoured by gators, looking for the “Big Gonzo Lizard”. He’s ruined _so many_ lives, and I can’t understand how he’s still out here, while everyone else involved is dead or behind bars or clinically insane. I know we say it like it’s some kind of joke but this guy really is fucked.
Jerma handed me a pill and told me to take it if I wanted to “peep the horror”. I was pretty hesitant but he just kept staring at me, so I took it. That night I had visions of my mortal demise & personally met Satan in hell. I’ll never understand why he would create such a horror
Hes a danger to society. I havent been able to sleep at night ever since he spiked my drink. I have no idea what he laced me with but i keep hearing a blender when i try to sleep
it's not a myth. fda considers insects and animal droppings natural contaminants because it's better to have little bits of bugs in chocolate, pasta, fruit, cheese, etc, than pesticides in the water supply. fda rules are based on number of insect parts/fragments per 100g of chocolate, they get oddly specific too. stuff like "200grams of rice can have at most five mouse hairs, 10 droppings, 100 insect parts". or such and such. on average 100grams of chocolate has 5-8 insect fragments/parts, which is far less than the 60 which is the limit the fda has in place. it's just filler/protein, there's no feasible way to produce food at scale affordably and keep every bug/mouse out. insect fragments in chocolate are so small you'd never notice unless you had an allergic reaction to them, it's a real thing, some people can't eat certain foods because of it. edit: double checked on insect bits in chocolate causing allergic reactions and that IS a myth. the bug parts in our food are way too small and few to cause that, my bad.
@@pervasivedoubt150 handsome doctor, in a open lab coat with no shirt (abs showing) and bike shorts walks in carrying his bike on a single finger like it's an empty tote bag. he tosses it up and the bike lands perfectly on a hook on the wall. he unlatches his bike helmet and kneepads, revealing his flowing golden locks and chiseled kneecaps. The perfectly formed but tiny man who was sitting on the exam table, kicking his legs back and forth takes note of all this, he visibly begins pogging at the sight of the handsome doctor's knees. the doctor thinks it's pretty cringe, but he doesn't say it out loud. The doctor turns to the homunculus before him, "says here on the chart you're Jerma985 Elbertson?" Jerma eyes widen and he karate chops the air rhythmically during his response, trying to impress the doctor. "BYEAH, thats me, look at me!" the doctor calmly responds "alright well, your vitals seem fine, can't do anything about the height without painful expensive surgery, so... (his voice drops two octaves and becomes bitcrushed, like jigsaw) YOU WANNA EAT BUGS?" he pulls out a large bug salad bowl, a full man sized portion, of spiders, roaches, ants, worms, etc, all still wiggling and the movement throws a few of them onto the floor. they skitter away as jerma watches nervously. jerma thinks to himself "he's everything I've ever wanted" the doctor, still doing a saw voice, says sternly "MAKE YOUR CHOICE"
@@dan_loeb I'm glad you emphasized how insignifigant this is in actuality, unless you have an allergy. We've all been eating this stuff for years with no issue, there's no reason to start freaking out about it. I've seen people use this to scare people and it's so asinine. Beyond the issue of needing to use more pesticides, having the standard of "no insect parts" in all our food is akin to having the standard of "no dog hair on anything" when you live with a dog. It's straight up impossible, the pesticides just kill the bugs, they don't disintegrate them so even if you physically dunk the food in pesticide you're not removing all the insect parts. Allowing _some_ of this stuff is just realistic and keeps the companies from having to do shady sht to get stuff approved.
So yeah.... I was getting robed and tried the "just throw the money" technique and the guy legitimately said "wtf is this, a jerma skit" and there was a moment of connection, then his fist made a more impactful connection with my cheek. He totally could tell that I knew his reference.
The thing that makes this particular stream of his better is the fact when Joel played it he found it boring and was wondering how Jerma managed to stream it for hours.
I think Joel is very game focused, whilst Jerma makes content from anything. For Joel there's no funny moments, but for Jerma he makes fun of the situation and everything reminds him of something and then he starts making bits and it just snowballs. And Im subbed to both, so this isnt a diss on Joel, they're just very different haha
I love when a time limit is introduced and jerma immediately stops what he's doing and just stands there going "what- what- wh-" for atleast half of the alloted time
I have ADD and I can relate to him lol. Our brains spin out of control when a time limit is introduced, we need half the time limit just to be able to cope with the fact there's a time limit.
If jerma were to actually kill someone we’d never know because of all these jokes we make about it. We’d just think it was another meme if we saw his mugshot on tv
I never watch jerma. The few times I've gotten around and been like I wanna watch jerma. It's always his chat trolling him about his volume at the beginning. He still falls for it 🤣
This is wild that you uploaded this today. I went years back to find Sips’s old vods of him playing this, just yesterday. My two favorite old men on Twitch ❤
"For every ¼ cup of cornmeal, the FDA allows an average of one or more whole insects, two or more rodent hairs and 50 or more insect fragments, or one or more fragments of rodent dung." -CNN Article from 2024
according to USA Today, the insects that are allowed to be in chocolate cannot be cockroaches. the rule you're referencing is talking about "incidental pests," while cockroaches are categorized as "Category I Pests" (vectors) which is a different group than incidental pests
@dumptruck Could you make one of your fantastic long edits of the Clocktower 3 stream. It has my favourite jerma moments but its like 5 hours long. That would be awesome sauce if you could hombre.
35:00 Listen, Germa, it's not about being fancy, it's about the fact that whipped cream tastes like fermented dog shit. It's nasty. I'd absolutely turn it upside down and spray away if it were like custard or slightly melted ice cream, or just softice. But whipped cream? I'd vom.
@@FrostyFoxDrake No that's what I'm saying, I'm not looking down on Jerma, I'm looking up to his miraculous power swallow such huge loads of cream. It's remarkable.
You must have recorded all of this when the game first came out. This game doesn't look like this anymore and its better than it was when it first came out I guess.
I love that the "special drug dealing website" is just discord.
Realistic
Its probably supposed to be telegram
That's probably common nowadays, idk
@@rektanglex It looks more like DIscord but realistically speaking most of them use Telegram.
No fucking thanks.
This entire stream was a diversion so now when you look up “jerma drug dealer” you find this instead of the multiple times he was arrested in Boston for drug distribution
just like the walt disney frozen conspiracy theory
@@isqqcc not a theory if its true
@@sirfudgepops7169 🤑
@@sirfudgepops7169 just like the theory of gravity
yesterday I googled "Jeremy Albertson" and there's an entry for a stolen property ofense, js
This is a REALLY long voicemail.
He was my drug dealer between 2010 and 2019. I mean he was my actual drug dealer in real life. Crazy boutique type designer chemicals that’ll cook your soul. This isn’t a meme. Every club on the east coast pushed his product. I knew kids who carved up their own faces trying to “reach their own nightmares”. My ex almost devoured by gators, looking for the “Big Gonzo Lizard”. He’s ruined _so many_ lives, and I can’t understand how he’s still out here, while everyone else involved is dead or behind bars or clinically insane. I know we say it like it’s some kind of joke but this guy really is fucked.
yeah
Jerma handed me a pill and told me to take it if I wanted to “peep the horror”. I was pretty hesitant but he just kept staring at me, so I took it. That night I had visions of my mortal demise & personally met Satan in hell. I’ll never understand why he would create such a horror
he sold my brother something called "Filler test" and he's been in a coma ever since. How does he keep getting away with it
Yeah what he said
Hes a danger to society. I havent been able to sleep at night ever since he spiked my drink. I have no idea what he laced me with but i keep hearing a blender when i try to sleep
"I wanna play this game more" never plays the game
Jerma is addicted to eating bugs, he wants there to be 3 bug legs in his hersheys bars SO BAD and refuses to believe it’s a myth. What a psycho
it's not a myth. fda considers insects and animal droppings natural contaminants because it's better to have little bits of bugs in chocolate, pasta, fruit, cheese, etc, than pesticides in the water supply. fda rules are based on number of insect parts/fragments per 100g of chocolate, they get oddly specific too. stuff like "200grams of rice can have at most five mouse hairs, 10 droppings, 100 insect parts". or such and such. on average 100grams of chocolate has 5-8 insect fragments/parts, which is far less than the 60 which is the limit the fda has in place.
it's just filler/protein, there's no feasible way to produce food at scale affordably and keep every bug/mouse out.
insect fragments in chocolate are so small you'd never notice unless you had an allergic reaction to them, it's a real thing, some people can't eat certain foods because of it.
edit: double checked on insect bits in chocolate causing allergic reactions and that IS a myth. the bug parts in our food are way too small and few to cause that, my bad.
ONLY if a handsome doctor tells him to
@@pervasivedoubt150 handsome doctor, in a open lab coat with no shirt (abs showing) and bike shorts walks in carrying his bike on a single finger like it's an empty tote bag. he tosses it up and the bike lands perfectly on a hook on the wall. he unlatches his bike helmet and kneepads, revealing his flowing golden locks and chiseled kneecaps. The perfectly formed but tiny man who was sitting on the exam table, kicking his legs back and forth takes note of all this, he visibly begins pogging at the sight of the handsome doctor's knees. the doctor thinks it's pretty cringe, but he doesn't say it out loud.
The doctor turns to the homunculus before him, "says here on the chart you're Jerma985 Elbertson?"
Jerma eyes widen and he karate chops the air rhythmically during his response, trying to impress the doctor. "BYEAH, thats me, look at me!"
the doctor calmly responds "alright well, your vitals seem fine, can't do anything about the height without painful expensive surgery, so... (his voice drops two octaves and becomes bitcrushed, like jigsaw) YOU WANNA EAT BUGS?"
he pulls out a large bug salad bowl, a full man sized portion, of spiders, roaches, ants, worms, etc, all still wiggling and the movement throws a few of them onto the floor. they skitter away as jerma watches nervously.
jerma thinks to himself "he's everything I've ever wanted"
the doctor, still doing a saw voice, says sternly "MAKE YOUR CHOICE"
@@pervasivedoubt150 60 btw
@@dan_loeb
I'm glad you emphasized how insignifigant this is in actuality, unless you have an allergy. We've all been eating this stuff for years with no issue, there's no reason to start freaking out about it. I've seen people use this to scare people and it's so asinine. Beyond the issue of needing to use more pesticides, having the standard of "no insect parts" in all our food is akin to having the standard of "no dog hair on anything" when you live with a dog. It's straight up impossible, the pesticides just kill the bugs, they don't disintegrate them so even if you physically dunk the food in pesticide you're not removing all the insect parts. Allowing _some_ of this stuff is just realistic and keeps the companies from having to do shady sht to get stuff approved.
So yeah.... I was getting robed and tried the "just throw the money" technique and the guy legitimately said "wtf is this, a jerma skit" and there was a moment of connection, then his fist made a more impactful connection with my cheek. He totally could tell that I knew his reference.
Chat is this real?
i really, really fucking hope this has happened somewhere, or that this is real
YOU WANT MY MONEY? GO GET IT! [throws money clip on the ground and runs away]
this implies that there are criminals that watch jerma
@@milkyeyez34 i mean, depending on the definition of criminal... obviously
jerma sitting there chanting shake shack sucks ten times while threatening to blind himself like he’s being held hostage is a psychotic bit
i love the psychotic bits because you can tell he's not aware of how insane he sounds sometimes so its like seeing an actual unraveling
Wtf I started reading this the second it started happening 😂
The thing that makes this particular stream of his better is the fact when Joel played it he found it boring and was wondering how Jerma managed to stream it for hours.
I think Joel is very game focused, whilst Jerma makes content from anything. For Joel there's no funny moments, but for Jerma he makes fun of the situation and everything reminds him of something and then he starts making bits and it just snowballs. And Im subbed to both, so this isnt a diss on Joel, they're just very different haha
Yeah the game just wasn't to his taste. At least he had fun with the police pathfinding.
because joel hates polish people
@@Koselill"For Joel there's no funny moments" Unless he's pausing the game to go on an hour long detour about something completely unrelated.
I love when a time limit is introduced and jerma immediately stops what he's doing and just stands there going "what- what- wh-" for atleast half of the alloted time
I have ADD and I can relate to him lol. Our brains spin out of control when a time limit is introduced, we need half the time limit just to be able to cope with the fact there's a time limit.
@@PointsofDatayour time in this earth is limited
@@PointsofData that's right. Your time is limited. You only have AT LEAST 70 more years for you dude. Gotta watch out!
@@EmmanQuinones5234 NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE
i love when jerma just goes on for 5 minutes talking about how fucked up a situation he made up in his head 30 seconds ago is
dump truck you make waking up worth it
Ong
fr
The zoomer comments kill me
fax@@AdminAbuse
@@AdminAbuse im probably older than you ngl
the concept of homeopathic amphetamine is hilarious
Medicinal crack, even
dextroamphetamine who?!?
when you think about it, this game is just like death stranding
When you think about it, this game is just like death grips
When you think about it this game is just like Hello Kitty Island Adventure.
@@RatBusted I WANT IT I NEED IT
39:52 "so i can put two or three bug legs in my coke" is legitimately one of my favorite unhinged lines from a stream
dude these long edits have turned into the only videos i watch
If jerma were to actually kill someone we’d never know because of all these jokes we make about it. We’d just think it was another meme if we saw his mugshot on tv
"Jerma mass murdered a whole country just so he could make a Jermaland? Oh jerma 😂"
Why is no one talking about how good the cartel plugs voice acting is
liTERALLY. and the animations for him too, i love it
This game has really good quality around the edges when it's not simulator junk asset flip
@@lynxsie4285 These games are made by people who lack the resources and skill, but have a ton of passion and vision for their project.
this was such a jerma game for him to play
love that u editing old streams, always nice to see some classics
"today we're gonna' do drugs"
what do you mean "today", jerma?
what do you mean "we" jerma?
what do you mean “drugs”, jerma?
According to Jerma he has been alive for a decade or 20
I can't believe Jerma changed his anthrax supply with my cocaine and sugar fix!
Anyone got dry rub?? im lookin for a fix
I love this stream ive watched the whole thing like 4-5 times now.
Common DumpTruck W
dumptruck
Sex
i like to imagine that because of the opening bit the whole stream is a voicemail someone got with zero context
Jerma Simulator
man his boston accent is really noticeable in this one
he sounds like a politician when talking about pot
“People smoke weed right?”
*All of California* “… You’d never be out of a job.”
this guy really was a sick piece of work, RIP.
10:22 METH STRANDING 🤣 I literally screamed
"crazed druggy thinks there's a lightbulb inside his microphone"
I never watch jerma. The few times I've gotten around and been like I wanna watch jerma. It's always his chat trolling him about his volume at the beginning. He still falls for it 🤣
ANYWAYS TODAY WE'RE GOING TO DO DRUGS
0:23 starting off with his normal insanity :)
This broadcaster LOVES consuming ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES
the enhanced coffee cheetos chicken bit kills me every time
Love you dumptruck
i love you dump truck
@@kakroom3407 dumptruck.....I am so drunk 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 dumptruuuuuuckkkkkk
I lOve u dum b p traçk
luv jermi dmptrck
love u dump
This is wild that you uploaded this today. I went years back to find Sips’s old vods of him playing this, just yesterday. My two favorite old men on Twitch ❤
"For every ¼ cup of cornmeal, the FDA allows an average of one or more whole insects, two or more rodent hairs and 50 or more insect fragments, or one or more fragments of rodent dung." -CNN Article from 2024
and to think upton sinclair warned us so long ago
what does the “or more” mean how much more D:
CNN isn't a citable source.
Fake News
😀
according to USA Today, the insects that are allowed to be in chocolate cannot be cockroaches. the rule you're referencing is talking about "incidental pests," while cockroaches are categorized as "Category I Pests" (vectors) which is a different group than incidental pests
1:12:05 amazing joke, like a 9.3/10
This video entertained me for a whole week
Watching this on withdrawal to further torment myself 🥰🥰
thinking of ster’s jerma impression makes so many part of this stream
Haha yeah
@dumptruck Could you make one of your fantastic long edits of the Clocktower 3 stream. It has my favourite jerma moments but its like 5 hours long. That would be awesome sauce if you could hombre.
I second this
The bad guy gets bugs bunny hit by a door part never fails to make me laugh
@@stonecoldhooligani3862 shit the proves how much we need the edit i forgot about that bit.
4:31 the crow stuck in the left sky mid-flight is me.
sells drugs "am i going to hurt people" lol....
Thanks for your hard work ❤
I know this is a long shot, but does anyone have that clip of Jerma saying "I dont know where to go!" and freaking out in elden ring?
Late af but there's a Jerma subreddit, asking there might be better
dumptruck saving the day once again
1:03:51 i love how jerma is coming to all the same conclusions that real dealers do
I think jerma should a stream thats just him eating a can of whip cream upside down of course, and Hersheys bars
Good edit friend :)
The SECOND Jerma said he would "show what he means with the whipped cream" I knew it was a bad idea 🤣
Dumptruck is my new favorite jerma editor helllllllll yeah
1:18:19 Headcrab Andy
dutch vanderlind
34:57 jumpscare warning. jerma brings out his teacher noise for half a second
everyone hates dry rub lmao
"letter F but backwords" is killing meee its a scythe
Just subbed thanks for these
Jerma makes me laugh like no one else, honestly. This giy is a jem
13:00 what the hell I was watching this for the first time and before he said that I was like “haha Sauron lol”
jerma definitely created drug dealers with this stream
thanks
I wish Jerma985 was MY drug dealer! :D
1:16:49 peak reference
The part where he lost me with the whipped cream thing is "turning it upside down", doesn't that make it not work correctly?
Not the most ”streets smart” person this Jerma guy
Bless you dumpy
I really need to poop
same
Dude same
@1:05:29 actual escape from tarkov momvent
It baffles my mind that Jerma is the same age as my mom
is jerma ur dad?
@@JoseTV possible
@@mikeyb.0121 is jerma ur mom?
@@goo6428 likely
same, hes just a little bit younger tho
Why does he play games like he's high? 😂
Poopy pants psycho could not even contain his truth!
jermer
34:20 Literal cartoon character
what was censored later in the video? was that just him doing his bit of bleeping things out?
Likely yeah, he wouldn't say anything that genuinely needed bleeped
Ronald Ridaled
Yooo anyone tried that new baking soda mix? 🔥🔥
no way, how does it do with soufflé?
36:13 whippy
40:12 bug legs
42:40 depressed Jerma
So youre not very smart. Are you
Polish simulator
nitty oxy
35:00
Listen, Germa, it's not about being fancy, it's about the fact that whipped cream tastes like fermented dog shit. It's nasty. I'd absolutely turn it upside down and spray away if it were like custard or slightly melted ice cream, or just softice. But whipped cream? I'd vom.
sounds a bit like a skill issue
@@FrostyFoxDrake
No that's what I'm saying, I'm not looking down on Jerma, I'm looking up to his miraculous power swallow such huge loads of cream. It's remarkable.
@@oliverholm3973Jerma *loves* swallowing large amounts of "cream".
You're eating awful whipped cream then, whipped cream should taste like cream that's whipped. Like, not even joking.
ResidentDealer
caught this vid at 420 likes but 2 ppl liked it before i could screenshot. shame...
36:39
thank you thank you thank you xoxo
1:33:54
am i going deaf or is this quiet
no, that's racism. That's not good, man. Focus on the good things in life.
deaf
what the fuck is fake paper
POV: Jerma fans go INSANE due to lack of content
Jerma comment sections have some decent jokes
You must have recorded all of this when the game first came out. This game doesn't look like this anymore and its better than it was when it first came out I guess.
pin this pls :)
Fuck the drugs.
freaky
11:39