I do not agree that this takes place more within non muslim culture and it bled into our Ummah. I think people from our culture rarely spoke or speak about it hence there is no statistic. Also, many times, children are silenced by religious blackmail. We need to stop blaming non Muslims and accept that within our Ummah we have such people that cause such harm because they are evil.
Muslim societies being more homogeneous adds to silencing Individuals. People being worried about reputation f.e. and as you stated using religion as a means to control and abuse. This puts Islam in a bad light and people associate their trauma with religion which can push them away from their deen.
Exactly, emotional and physical abuse is and always was very prevalent in muslim households, this is just pointing fingers, parents read the quran and their haqooq and think they can do anything
I agree with you too….Scholars like himself and others it is part of the Culture why do every Muslim person blame the western world. ABUSE IS ABUSE! It can happen ANYWHERE especially in the Muslim household heck it happened to me since I was just 3 years old. I was BORN TO A FAMILY WHO TORTURED ME SINCE THEN I AM 32 years old now and realizing from my parents mistakes they led me far from ISLAM! My grandfather did not want my mom to be a female or be a girl he wanted a boy but she had ME and emotionally psychologically spiritually mentally tortured me and they did all this haram stuff towards me I was 3 or a kid who was still learning and they listened like to people I had a devil in my body? So they made up stories like that and did ALOT OF SHIRK things since I was a kid. Parents are SUPPOSED TO GUIDE YOU TO THE RIGHT PATH OF ISLAM NOT THE WRONG PATH. My stepdad comes and molested me when I was a teen and it kept on happening until recently. Honor killings when they tried to kill me I am the only daughter? I never did ANYTHING that was bad but they are mentally unstable and asked family members from overseas to find out what is wrong with me. I will never forgive them. They don’t think Allah watches them. The speaker and Sheikhs tell us to have sabr patience but they give us the wrong advice especially in the video
💯 our community will hide it n will say if anything like this comes out you will bring shame to our families. Or my mother or father went through it n we managed to you will manage too. N the vicious cycle carries on with different generations. 😢
This topic isn't discussed enough. There's always high emphasis on parents and their rights and status. Whereas those of children are barely mentioned. Parents aren't being held accountable for their abuse. In fact, homogenous communities will silence the vicitim to keep the peace. Family members need to stand up for the truth. Enabling abuse makes you an abuser too and you will be held accountable for it by Allah. As hard as it might be, we need to stand for what Islam teaches. For what is righteous regardless our connection to the person. Respecting your parents doesn't mean accepting their abuse. Choosing your wellbeing doesn't make you selfish. It's self preservation. And sometimes it means distancing yourself from your family. Be it emotional detachment or physical distance. May Allah grant everyone ease.
Exactly, you are right! Just like this video, barely mentioning what a child's right is over their parents! Islam holds children in higher regard than parents in many ways!
I think we were always told the inverse. The parents were not taught the kids are a gift but just a responsibility from whom they yield a return. Get a child for old age. For their security.
Even in this video, only 1% of what needs to be discussed was discussed. Its really a sad state for the Muslim ummah. The kids who are raised by the abusive parents, will soon grow up and be parents themselves and may end up abusing their own kids. Parents always end up having an upperhand on this topic.
abused children grow up .. we do not have to forgive abusive parents and we dont.. we can measure the effect abuse has on childrens brains now and soon we will be able to expose abusive parents and treat them like the social uisance they are .. don't normalise these people - they have lost their humanity and humanity is losing its patience - and we will pray for them to be punished in hell .
Seems this is the result of religion, that gives supreme power to whoever has power, and shuts down all those who are powerless, meaning sons and daughters.
For a long time, Islamic scholars ignored the fact that parents can and do abuse their children. It was swept under the rug with hushed astaghfirulla’s. This was an injustice done to those abused. As if Muslim parents are above the evil prevalent within human nafs. The Islamic scholars should make amends for the damage done by their turning a blind eye to this issue. Repressed anger due to continually getting ignored can lead to much harm to self and others. I’m sorry to say this, but Islamic scholars are VERY, VERY late in addressing these issues.
My dad is more emotional abuse if I ever say anything he threatens to kick me out and be homeless. I hope to make enough money to get a place of my own soon.
My life was ruined by mine! I’m an adult now, with my own kids! After a lifetime of guilt due to the hadeeth, now I hold them responsible! I wish I had different parents, now I’m an orphan with living parents. I live with perpetual depression and isolation, the effects of their actions affect my entire life, till death. Out of 7 siblings, I got the worst abuse then chucked out the family! I have mental health problems for life now😭 what is the way out of this?
The way out of this is to have faith and pray to Almighty Allah, and everything comes from Allah, do not let Iblees get you depressed or mess with your mind...just have patience plz and Allah will have something better for you.
Sister, its really sad to know this. Don't worry, Allah has Solution for every problem. Solutions are : 1) seek help of Allah with sabr, salah ( prayer) and sadqa ; 2) get counselling from a good psychtrist ( mental doctor) ; 3) Forgive your parents your heart will fill at ease; 4) Follow the Sunnah- Allah will make your life beautiful and finally get halal rizq. And yes, don't forget to make lots of dua. Pour out your heart to Allah. He knows it all and hears your struggle. May Allah make it easy for you ! Sister. and give you the success of this dunya and akhirah.
@@Prince_Unknown1 JazakaAllah The Almighty gave her these parents in the first place. Get some professional help froma reputed, recommended therapist. Stop wasting your precious time with these promoters of hocus pocus.
Thanks for discussing this topic...as our society puts the parents on such a pedestal that nobody even accepts that any parent can do this ...but they actually do it ...not all of them ...but the numbers are overwhelming... I'm myself one such child ..and nobody ever came to help...bcoz i couldn't tell anybody...and if i did ...i was misjudged...n now I'm scarred...for life ...i lost my trust ... I've so many emotional problems..but I can't tell anybody
Its so sad. May Allah help you out. Same thing. I can't talk this thing to anyone. Sometimes i want to leave my home forever. Beacuse of this reason i have left all of my friends. They ask me why you have abandoned us. But i don't tell them the reason. This is a huge problem. I would have killed my mother many years back but because Islam gives so much importance to mother. That's why i have not hurted her.
@@asifali-cy5se you are right brother...those who have not undergone this pain ...rarely understand ... same thing happened to me...i left all my friends too ...i find it so very difficult to trust people...and yet I felt so alone and empty..
@@arjumandsaeed6058 I experienced the same thing just because of practicing my religion.They started to force me to not practice it and I don’t know what to do
Somebody has to go deeper on this subject. This is a big thing in our community. I know a lot of children i grow up with they were actualy orphans. not littarly but they grow up without love our guidance from the parents. Dealing with aggression and manipulation, or mindgames to the point you dont even know who you are. Suffering with mental health issieus as a child and in adult life. I myself have to deal today with trauma and psst. I have trust issiues and cant let people in my life. As a result im 33 now and not married. The thing is u live your life and u dont even know, u only feel sick and strange and different. I had to raise myself and lived a very lonely life with a lot of selfdestruction. Since 2 years im praying now and step by step i now what life is all about. Alhamdullilah.
LAILAHILALLAH, ASLAM alkum sister/brother it's really sad what I just have read, and I know my talk wouldn't make much change but just like our beloved prophet Muhammad saw said this Ummah is like one body if one part of the body is in pain' then, all the body will feel it's effect, May ALLAH SWT bless u and guide u and help u from every derection and protect u and make it easy for u and grant you steadfastness in the path of Allah and have murcy on u and be please with u and protect u from the punishment of hell fire and grave and grant you Jannah at al ferdous AMEEN YA RABBALALMEEN
Lonely in a relationship is real. You could be alone but not lonely. You are lonely when you are surrounded by toxic, cruel, controlling and oppressive family members. Some parents are best to their neighbours, colleagues, strangers but the worst with their own family members. Many people would say dont get angry to the oppressed, but never say dont oppress to the oppressor. The bystander would prefer to blame the victim and justify the oppression that that take place. Good deeds wont compensate the bad manners. But good manners will elevate the status of a muslim.
i’m currently going through this and i harm myself most the time to cope with it which i know is wrong but i can’t control it. The timing on this video coming out was a blessing itself as i was in amidst thoughts of suicide.
For me its opposite. I want to kill my mother because i just can't tolerate her abuse anymore. Only because of fear of Allah i have not harmed her. How badly i want to treat her nicely. But i fail again and again and again...........................
Aslam alkum .Don't do it my bro or sis . Cuz allah said it not permissible to suicide . And there are millions or more of muslims who want to be alive and do one Prostration to allah ALHAMDULILLA you are still here , be patient Allah is with us and this life is a test , may allah make it easy for u , we all ganna die but inshallah with obedience to allah swt . We all belong to allah and we shall all return to him . May allah forgive us and guide us .ameen . ❤️❤️
LAILAHILALLAH, those parents' they should FEAR ALLAH, they should know that they're children BELONG to ALLAH, WHY and HOW ? Could they do that. They belong to Allah not to u how could u harm, a trust and a blessings a responsibility that ALLAH SWT gave it to you, those really took advantage of the blessings that Allah swt blessed them with, and don't worry brother or sister, Allah swt knows and he is just so, don't warry no one will understand more then Allah nor will love u more then Allah no will forgive u more then Allah no one will help u more then Allah and no one will understand more then Allah, don't warry bro/sis Allah swt only put them(parents) with u for a purpose and for period of time, u belong to Allah and they do, what they do will be judge, we will die one day and we will not be with our parents' when we die, we will be separated from them, we are servent of Allah and we belong to Allah not them. So, there judgement is with allah so are we. Only Allah knows what are we going true', it's really upsetting what I just heard from u guys, May ALLAH SWT make it easy for u guys and bless u and guide u and make us and u steadfastness in our religion and protect us from every derection and grant us eman and grant you guy's and my brothers/sisters Jannah at al ferdous AMEEN YA RABBALALMEEN
Who the hell as the right to make you feel like doing that to yourself and why are you harming yourself, you should be giving it back to them... Not even your parents have the right to do that to you.
May Allah punish those who are doing such a thing to their children. You stay strong. Allah is the Most Merciful sure he will help you to overcome this. Ameen
Thanks a lot Shaykh for addressing this issue. Jazakumullah khair !!! This issue needs constant reminders in Mosque and community. Its a big problem in our society. But ufortunately, no one is seriously discussing and talking.
May Allah help the people who are really being physically or mentally or verbally torture,from their parents... Though it is called the safest place of this world.... Only that people and Allah know how much hard this test is...and how it hurts May Allah bless them ameen
Alhamdulillah for this video.. finally it address our issues regarding abusive parents. may our parents realize all of these.. To my daughter, I promise myself not to follow my parents the way they raised me.
@shahnazsultana6231 I have been through it too, but never say that about your mother. Would you wanna see your mother go to hell fire? Forgive her. Regardless of how she treated you, she also has rights upon you, so fulfill those as well. May Allah(s.w) make it easy for you
This didn’t really answer the question on what the young adult should do, or can do. It only repeated about disciplinary vs punishment, and West vs Muslim society. Jzk Khayr nonethenless still interesting topic
If only Rasullah SAW had discussed alot abt the punishments for parents who abused their children, they wld have been aware and be alot more careful abt the way they raise their kids. Sadly, only parents rights were much emphasised by the prophet and not the rights of children. That's why millions of parents abuse their kids and get their way with it and children suffer silently not knowing what to do. They end up growing up with PTSD and other mental illnesses. And eventually also harming their own kids as a result. Sometimes I wonder if the prophet could prophesize so much why didn't he talk abt the parents who will raise abused children?
Maybe he did. But the ones that relayed his messages only chose what was beneficial to them. And most were also parents. Just like how scholars are mostly parents, so may also think they aren’t suppose to be held accountable for their wrongs.
Prophet SAW talked about all unjustices. I'm sure he talked about emotional parental abuse as well as mentioned in the previous reply but it was never relayed However anyone who is wronged will get their justice in akhira So please just pray. I know it's unbearable, but there's nothing we can do
Until we don’t accept we have problem in our community we cannot change anything, kids might not openly talk about problems which we have been suffering due to multiple reasons or respect towards our faith, but as scholars need to start talking about all this topics openly that the problem exist and we have solution to it.
why not set up a Muslims foster home institution to help care and deal with these issues? It should be availlable for all youths to see refuge advice and clarity on such issues. I really hope they can make these
I just become afraid to talk with my toxic mom. Because she always make me feel like I am a stupid one, that's why I don't have any confidence into me nowdays in anything. Because she did it from my very childhood 😔
O you who have believed, be persistently standing firm in justice, witnesses for Allah, even if it be against yourselves or parents and relatives. Whether one is rich or poor, Allah is more worthy of both.” [Quran, 4:135] Thanks ☺️
M scarred for rest of my life! My mind shuts down at times and I am totally unable to respond my surroundings and I feel like I am choking. But I can’t tell anyone. Because talking bad abt my parent makes me look so bad and I am considered the worst one no matter what parents do, the culprits are always children? I wish I had an option to choose different parents 😢
Im being psychologically abused and for my safety for my mental health I'm moving out. I think it's not so bad because sometimes leaving toxic relationships will help you with your mental health to be surrounded by positive thoughts and be more confident of yourself, its not a sin, they may be hurt when we leave or make a good boundary but your emotions and mental health matter too, Allah is not cruel and he is tje smartest of all. He will understand your situation i promise so do what you want to do what makes you feel more safe but beware of taking wrong stepz.
I can relate... You make dua. Try your best to educate/enlighten them by what Islam says is ok and is not. (Draw a healthy line-without fully isolating) Allah sees everything. May Allah make it easy on you and your sibling/s
@@TaMiMS1 Ameen…. salaam alaiykom brother! Thank you so much for your kind words☝🏽 I do everything you have just stated, and I know very well this is my test and I always pray for my Dad to Allah’SWT’ to make easy for me and my parents. My Father is so old school in his thoughts it’s shocking sometimes and when he feels he has me down “emotionally “ then he try’s to go for kill. Metaphorically that is. I am quite strong minded and I have Allah to help me navigate through this, but really, I worry for my Father more so. He has no end to his darkness and it really hurts me when my own father can do and say things that is not good. Allah’ knows best. Thank you so much brother for reaching out. Much appreciated 👊🏽 I pray our Iman stay’s strong and positive and we help each other in this beautiful umma. I’m good Alhamdulilah! I guess there is know limit’s when it comes to parents… The harder the struggle the greater the reward .
@@Nana-oi4iz Aslam alkum dear bro/sis SUBAHANALLAH, SUBAHANALLAH, what a GREAT AND BEAUTIFUL patient only Allah knows how much u gone true and how patient were u, subahanallah don't warry bro/sis ur patient will never never go to waste the greater the test the greater the reword, and Allah knows u can handle it, that's why he is testing u with this test, and Allah swt test who he loves, for tmi ( too much information) I was similing reading ur comment it is...so.. . Beautiful.. it really granted me happiness seeing the way u are handling ur test it's understandable and subahanallah beautiful , I am very happy for u and at the same time there is something in my heart that is heavy, only really allah swt knows what are u really going true', the only think that I can help u with, May ALLAH SWT BLESS and bless u and forgive u and be please with u forever and have murcy on u and grant u more happenies then u grated me and make it easy for u and protect u and forgive and have murcy on ur Father and grant you success in this World and the next and May ALLAH SWT grant u the highest Jannah, Jannah at al ferdous and make u the neighbour of our beloved prophet Muhammad saw AMEEN YA RABBALALMEEN, sometimes by Just a comment u become so inspired ☺️ SUBAHANALLAH
And don't forget my bro's/sis's the dua of the one who have been oppressed, there is nothing between them and Allah even if the person is a disbeliever if he call to allah and he is oppressed LAILAHILALLAH, I can't imagine but pls be careful of who u are making dua for so, be careful who u wrong, May ALLAH SWT protect us
You are an adult, put allah first not your parents... you are allowed to maintain a respectful distance and its THEM you pray for so Allah opens there heart and mind... Nobody has the right to abuse you not even your parents, they are people just like you and me. They are not superior because allah says so, allah means that towards parents who follow allahs guidance on how to be good people who in turn become good parents... its these types of parents that deserve respect.
Whatever my parents do to me, first thing i do is, i look up i say ow allah, whatever happens to me those are still my parents, and please forgive them for whatever they did to me ameen🤲
Me too... I did the same May allah (swt😊forgive them because as a father and mother I love them alot and that's what islam teach us...inside there is alot of pain but it's ok ALLAH is with me🥺❤
i don't think they abuse you, you are blessed with your parents that's why you can make dua for them. if they abused you< you'd have just cried to Allah SWT to escape that place.
May Allah SWT bless Ustaz Gabriel. We all have been in this sort of situation in our life. I used to ill treat my son too I still feel guilty for all what I did to my son. May Allah SWT forgive me
Hmmm thats true in my country Indonesia when the goverment get reports of child abuse the child will be taken to their other family/relative sometime neighbors not to strangers while the parents get punished by law
Save yourself...make yourself independent and leave them if you find the opportunity...it isn't bad...because it will make you a good and sane person...because if you kept living with them you will develop all their traits knowingly or unknowingly and you will become equally abusive for others.. so save others and yourself just leave
The only thing that comes to my mind after seeing this is 'Who r u telling all this to?'. You think the abusive parents will see this video and miraculously change themselves for the sake of Allah?. Yea the only thing that's gonna happen is when we grow up and have kids we'll treat them as per islam so that they don't have to cry in sujood for Allah's mercy :)
I think this is an important topic to discuss and to continue funding on it even getting government assistance from to care for both sides parents and children’s👈💪☝️👍
We should discuss this as well a critical topic children are always under pressure how to deal with abusive parents they instigate their children to disrespect them and then make their children responsible for their bad behavior,it is too common in parents to get angry on tiny household chores and things 😢 parents ruin the personalities their innocent sometime.
you know what at first I was like that easily get angry esp. when my son is doing something bad I get easily angry but Masha Allah after making tawbah I am hardly get angry now and I am more calm now!!!
imām al-awzāʿī (رحمه الله) said: “there's not an hour from the hours of the worldly life except that it will be shown to the slave on the day of judgment, day by day, hour by hour. and not an hour passes of which Allāh - the Most-High - was not remembered in, except that it will be a cause of distress upon a persons soul. so how about someone who goes through hour by hour, day by day, and night after night without remembering his Lord?” [ḥilyah al-awlīyāʾ, 6/124]
Question: Kindly quote one ayah of the Holy Qur'an, one Hadith-e-Mubarika which says clearly and unequivocally that Abusive Parents actually exist. Thanks. Mujāhid reported: A man threw a sword at his son, which killed him. He was brought to ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) for judgment. ‘Umar said: "Had I not heard the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) say: ‘A father is not to be killed (in retribution) for killing his child,’ I would have ordered you to be killed before you leave."
My Dad, Physically Abusive. My Mom, Verbally Abusive, little Physically. Both Mentally, Emotionally, Psychologically Abusive. Even now in my 30, its been 16 since both divorce & i live with Mom. Mom become even more Abusive & her mouth is so Rich of Words. Just few days ago, Mom still angry as I failed holding my Cat as they fight as she stay un dining room. Mom knew I was & am still very actively Ashtma for almost a week. I told her i did held one of the cat but then i took a menthol to breath it like smoke it as my breathing was heavy. She still continue spread her languages with volume up.
we can see the effect of daily trauma on child's brains s . there are clear characteristics of slow down in growth of certain brain areas when a child is emotionally abused daily .. whether or not you have visible recording catching the child abusive parent in the act.. they aren't caring for their kid if their brain is stunted to the point where it will affect the rest of their life if they dont get away from the parent.. abusive parents wont be able to justify their failures soon and i wellcome holding parents accountable for their childs well being .. no child deserves to be disabled for life due to a failure of a parent. and parents "rights" or feelings will ever matter more than their kids basic human rights to grow in good health - bad parenting must be stamped out
What to do when a parent has for the whole life belittled , humiliated, degraded, accused for things that were not the kid's mistake, all the time made fun of the kid's achievements etc so much that the child gets different psychological issue and yet to hear WHAT DID I DO? I DIDN'T SAY OR DO THIS (straight denials)
Out of 5 siblings my mother abuse me alot at first I didn't understand why but as I grew I understand is because of my father whom I still don know... she's so unforgiven and I believe because she's not able to get back at my dad I have to pay the price... I've given her my time and youth but still....it's really unfair ya allah
Look i have no father and my mom tells me that he was a nobody and that i would be like him and drunk and die a nobody. But i had to teach my self how to be a Muslim and everything nobody help me with that and i'm 16 year old that lives in EU had to stop my self to not sell drugs or take them, drink alcohol or smoke and still she calls me not a real man and she is Muslim her self wallah i'm just tired of this shit.
It is quite popular that male children suffer in the hands of their mothers when there's no much love for the fathers. I can totally relate. We gotta remain strong, not only for ourselves, but also for our future kids. We shall prevail and overcome in the end.
Please advise parents how to be a good parent rather than what is not allowed so they can learn. It’s not fair on the children as most of the time communities are relatives of parents and know each other so the child is not allowed to tell or will be punished double. I think the route to a good family upbringing is the mother of she is genuinely interested in a family.
I wish more videos would talk about how abusive parents are doing evil by abusing their power. And really send a message to these abuse parents so they understand. This video like many Islamic videos will dance around the issue but it doesn’t fully address it. Don’t worry about west and cops! They’re doing it the right way to protect children. Instead of speaking about kids being with non Muslims and talk about the evil that goes on with parents who justify their abuse! Everyone is so scared to talk about truth!
There is no place in Islam to abuse anyone, be is emotional, physical etc. Islam does not expect us to be abused. Parents are not above the sharia. If you are getting abused then take steps to protect yourself within the boundaries is Islam and as a last resort distance yourself. Scholars need to speak up more about this as it’s more common these days as the increase in rise in narcassism, etc. Focus on Allah Ta’ala and His Habib ﷺ and be a good person and protect yourself and your imaan as many a people hate Islam due to the upbringing they had. Islam is beautiful and it’s the people that may be not. Again I say that if you’re being abused then protect your wellbeing, do not accept bad treatment doesn’t matter if it’s parents or anyone else but always follow the way of the Beloved Prophet ﷺ in your behaviour. If you need help seek a good Muslim counsellor or a scholar who is empathetic as well as educated in psychology. May Allah Ta’ala protect us all from those who harm us, Ameen
My mother has abused me verberlly emotional mentally all my life swearing cyrsing although i wS there for her showed her love was obedient yet she did, only Allah know why, also very very controlling, then adult life degrading purting me down infrint of other siblings sisters, made me feel small n worthless, not loving me ever support me in any crisis Bt always wanting to know what going in my life evan this was in married life she never stopped, I just took it, hurted me use to cry bt i took if i stand up for myself she would make my life more hell, Now im 57 , she has stopped some things still dont love me, never care when i go through something bad, as she there fir her other kids Always still try to want to control me, i have depression, many health issues, there so many other things All i have done, turn a blind eye forgive her everytime, she has donr this all my life to me Now i resent her , strarted, i can get really ill because of this She, at this age she still want to control me, Throughout my life,
Despite being 57 years old, my father calls himself a Larka (young-man) & his age fellows Larkay (young-men). He is ill-mannerred, disrespectful, has negligible concern for others feelings & sometimes even taunts me. He has worked in KSA & Kuwait as a salesman of cars spare-parts for most of his life. My mother is also like my father. Both of them act like as if they are one of the most respected individuals of the society despite being moderately educated & belonging to a purely middle class family. My father's number is 5th in 10 siblings & mother's number is 4th in 6 siblings & both are first cousins to each other, married in 1987. I'm the eldest with my 2 younger siblings, now over 30 being mild to moderate intellectually disabled. I'm a government school teacher in District Nankana, Pakistan. I'm married to my phupho's daughter since 2016 & have 3 daughters. They didn't even ask me if I liked any girl before marriage. Although my father has told me a couple of times that he wants second marriage for himself despite my mother being alive. He often scolds me especially when I'm alone with him despite me being 34. I'm an MA in English from PU. It drains my mental peace.
Mudasir you have an igo , you think yourself very highly , and think your parents very lowly . You stressed that you are masters in English from Pak univ. Pray for them.
As Salaam alaikum sir Shukran sir May Allah SWT bless us all always aameen It is a very needed topic for me especially "ME" Allah SWT knows what is this and how it is going My parents think I am a hurdle for them in the middle and stopping barakah and money issues at home Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah In which Home ? Which girl is blamed like this you only tell me? Ya Allah SWT Unfortunately there are more horrible things going on in the world But it doesn't mean humanity and religious rules are to be lost May Allah SWT always give good guidance to all the people in this world Ameen summa ameen Make dua all of you please Believe in Allah SWT who is the most merciful Recite Surah Al Fatiha Don't give chance to bad doers please 🤝☪️🙏🙏🙏🙏
Everything here is so abusive even in the school, home or in the masjid even our country imam also beat the children like hell. I'm one of them. I was 9 yrs old. I pronounced 1 Arabic letter wrongly and then he slapped me from then I stopped going to the masjid because I was so scared to go. And now I'm 16 but still I can't recite Quran. It's so shame to say like this and I can't say this as reason so now I'm learning to recite quran by my self. I have a phone on my hand so I can learn everything on it. In school also all teachers are like this, they love beat us. And my father too. Yesterday night I got beaten up. Can't understand is this is a punishment or Allah is testing me ? All I want run away from this country and from this people. Proudly saying my country's name SRI LANKA.
I have an Eating Disorder and my mother doesn't understand it she asks me to just quit what i do but she doesn't understand it's difficult for me but I'm trying my best ,she taunts and torments me and I get angrier and become disrespectful towards her but i feel very guilty and ashamed later on i feel like I'm dying inside ,i don't want to misbehave and argue with my mother, i love her but she doesn't corporate with me ,she expects fast recovery, what should i do?
“A lot of our problems will be resolved if we were in a Muslim system “. These issues are worse in Muslim countries but somehow it’s the systems fault. It’s almost like he’s scared to say it’s a problem within the Muslim community. Yes the western world dose have the same problem and he’s talking about how “shocking” it is , when they do it they don’t use the holy Quran and a Hadith to justify what they do so I’d say it’s worse in the Muslim community because we have a blueprint” the Quran and suna “ but that only gets used against the child.
LAILAHILALLAH, bro/sis what are u saying? Life is a blessing but it's blessing for those who see it as a blessing and a hell for those who see it as a bad place but u should know that happiness is not achieve in this life and u can't look for happiness in this life so, it will be Hard, but it will be easy for those who are patient and and eman and god consciousness because they truly understand what is the meaning of life, May ALLAH SWT forgive our short caming and protect us and make our relationship with our parents full of love and passion and honour and respect for eachother and May ALLAH SWT BLESS you bro/sis and have murcy on u ameen ya rabb
@@افراحابراهيم-ن4ن it is hell for those damned with an abusive parents..we need to be stricter with punishing abusive parents .. they are a nuisance to society and should be separated from it.
What about a 20 years old smoking weed and depending on there father mother and he tells his mom hussshhh is that right please answer me because my son sent me this video and taken advantage of this video please 🙏🏻 reply
Assalamualaikum. Surah Al Isra ayat 23 - "And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word." Hopefully, this ayat answers your question. This is a double-edged sword - in your case, your son has taken advantage of you and your husband's kindness but I hope you would keep in mind that even you could use this as your "advantage", a.k.a. "weapon", against your son as per mentioned by Ustaz Nouman Ali Khan himself. Many of us watching this video here are children who have been hurt by our parents, I am hoping that you don't do that to your son either by having this powerful ayat to your advantage. Don't let him be one of us. Try to help him by educating yourself on parenting. I am sorry if I have stepped over any boundaries or hurt you in any way, this is just my sincere advise because broken children are usually a result from childhood trauma (learnt this from Psychology).
tell her exactly what is unacceptible .. see how she treats the kids.. if she abuses them .. divorce her and send her packing .. more mothers mentally abuse their kids than fathers.. you will know within a couple of years if they are capable of change - never normalise abuse.. if they arent changing their brain is damaged and they need to seek help .. and you need to protect the kids
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Alhamdulillah .. May Allah swt guide all parents in this world to stop abusing their children physically and mentally.
Is there any way I can email you regarding my personal situation plz for advice 😭kinda urgent.
I do not agree that this takes place more within non muslim culture and it bled into our Ummah. I think people from our culture rarely spoke or speak about it hence there is no statistic. Also, many times, children are silenced by religious blackmail. We need to stop blaming non Muslims and accept that within our Ummah we have such people that cause such harm because they are evil.
Muslim societies being more homogeneous adds to silencing Individuals. People being worried about reputation f.e. and as you stated using religion as a means to control and abuse. This puts Islam in a bad light and people associate their trauma with religion which can push them away from their deen.
I agree with you 2
Exactly, emotional and physical abuse is and always was very prevalent in muslim households, this is just pointing fingers, parents read the quran and their haqooq and think they can do anything
I agree with you too….Scholars like himself and others it is part of the Culture why do every Muslim person blame the western world. ABUSE IS ABUSE! It can happen ANYWHERE especially in the Muslim household heck it happened to me since I was just 3 years old. I was BORN TO A FAMILY WHO TORTURED ME SINCE THEN I AM 32 years old now and realizing from my parents mistakes they led me far from ISLAM! My grandfather did not want my mom to be a female or be a girl he wanted a boy but she had ME and emotionally psychologically spiritually mentally tortured me and they did all this haram stuff towards me I was 3 or a kid who was still learning and they listened like to people I had a devil in my body? So they made up stories like that and did ALOT OF SHIRK things since I was a kid. Parents are SUPPOSED TO GUIDE YOU TO THE RIGHT PATH OF ISLAM NOT THE WRONG PATH. My stepdad comes and molested me when I was a teen and it kept on happening until recently. Honor killings when they tried to kill me I am the only daughter? I never did ANYTHING that was bad but they are mentally unstable and asked family members from overseas to find out what is wrong with me. I will never forgive them. They don’t think Allah watches them. The speaker and Sheikhs tell us to have sabr patience but they give us the wrong advice especially in the video
💯 our community will hide it n will say if anything like this comes out you will bring shame to our families.
Or my mother or father went through it n we managed to you will manage too. N the vicious cycle carries on with different generations. 😢
Thank you so much for addressing this issue. Physical and emotional abuse is soooo common unfortunately. More than we think.
This topic isn't discussed enough. There's always high emphasis on parents and their rights and status. Whereas those of children are barely mentioned. Parents aren't being held accountable for their abuse. In fact, homogenous communities will silence the vicitim to keep the peace. Family members need to stand up for the truth. Enabling abuse makes you an abuser too and you will be held accountable for it by Allah. As hard as it might be, we need to stand for what Islam teaches. For what is righteous regardless our connection to the person.
Respecting your parents doesn't mean accepting their abuse. Choosing your wellbeing doesn't make you selfish. It's self preservation. And sometimes it means distancing yourself from your family. Be it emotional detachment or physical distance.
May Allah grant everyone ease.
Exactly, you are right! Just like this video, barely mentioning what a child's right is over their parents! Islam holds children in higher regard than parents in many ways!
Because preachers believe parents already are pious and responsible of their actions
I think we were always told the inverse. The parents were not taught the kids are a gift but just a responsibility from whom they yield a return. Get a child for old age. For their security.
Fr
Even in this video, only 1% of what needs to be discussed was discussed. Its really a sad state for the Muslim ummah. The kids who are raised by the abusive parents, will soon grow up and be parents themselves and may end up abusing their own kids. Parents always end up having an upperhand on this topic.
abused children grow up .. we do not have to forgive abusive parents and we dont.. we can measure the effect abuse has on childrens brains now and soon we will be able to expose abusive parents and treat them like the social uisance they are .. don't normalise these people - they have lost their humanity and humanity is losing its patience - and we will pray for them to be punished in hell .
Totally agree. Islamic scholars are very ignorant, naive and still wearing rose colored glasses about the difficult issues affecting the ummah.
I would never do so ik how does it feel to get abused every single day😢
My mother is the toxic mom ever
Seems this is the result of religion, that gives supreme power to whoever has power, and shuts down all those who are powerless, meaning sons and daughters.
I waited for this topic and im 40 ! Thank you for discussing about it 🤲🏻 Alhamdulillah
May Allah bless you
For a long time, Islamic scholars ignored the fact that parents can and do abuse their children. It was swept under the rug with hushed astaghfirulla’s. This was an injustice done to those abused. As if Muslim parents are above the evil prevalent within human nafs. The Islamic scholars should make amends for the damage done by their turning a blind eye to this issue. Repressed anger due to continually getting ignored can lead to much harm to self and others.
I’m sorry to say this, but Islamic scholars are VERY, VERY late in addressing these issues.
Amazing comment I ever read on UA-cam video ❤️❤️❤️
You're absolutely right, and if you get backlash it's only because it's true
My dad is more emotional abuse if I ever say anything he threatens to kick me out and be homeless. I hope to make enough money to get a place of my own soon.
Don't worry brother I have same story allah give better just be patient
My first marriage was destroyed because of my mother and my second marriage is also at stake and my mom says I didn't do anything
I'm going through the same stage but with my mom. May Allah help us all to be patient and to escape from an abusive environment. Ameen
My life was ruined by mine! I’m an adult now, with my own kids! After a lifetime of guilt due to the hadeeth, now I hold them responsible! I wish I had different parents, now I’m an orphan with living parents. I live with perpetual depression and isolation, the effects of their actions affect my entire life, till death. Out of 7 siblings, I got the worst abuse then chucked out the family! I have mental health problems for life now😭 what is the way out of this?
The way out of this is to have faith and pray to Almighty Allah, and everything comes from Allah, do not let Iblees get you depressed or mess with your mind...just have patience plz and Allah will have something better for you.
Sister, its really sad to know this. Don't worry, Allah has Solution for every problem. Solutions are : 1) seek help of Allah with sabr, salah ( prayer) and sadqa ; 2) get counselling from a good psychtrist ( mental doctor) ; 3) Forgive your parents your heart will fill at ease; 4) Follow the Sunnah- Allah will make your life beautiful and finally get halal rizq.
And yes, don't forget to make lots of dua. Pour out your heart to Allah. He knows it all and hears your struggle.
May Allah make it easy for you ! Sister. and give you the success of this dunya and akhirah.
@@Prince_Unknown1
JazakaAllah
The Almighty gave her these parents in the first place.
Get some professional help froma reputed, recommended therapist. Stop wasting your precious time with these promoters of hocus pocus.
Thanks for discussing this topic...as our society puts the parents on such a pedestal that nobody even accepts that any parent can do this ...but they actually do it ...not all of them ...but the numbers are overwhelming... I'm myself one such child ..and nobody ever came to help...bcoz i couldn't tell anybody...and if i did ...i was misjudged...n now I'm scarred...for life ...i lost my trust ... I've so many emotional problems..but I can't tell anybody
Its so sad. May Allah help you out. Same thing. I can't talk this thing to anyone. Sometimes i want to leave my home forever. Beacuse of this reason i have left all of my friends. They ask me why you have abandoned us. But i don't tell them the reason. This is a huge problem. I would have killed my mother many years back but because Islam gives so much importance to mother. That's why i have not hurted her.
@@asifali-cy5se you are right brother...those who have not undergone this pain ...rarely understand ... same thing happened to me...i left all my friends too ...i find it so very difficult to trust people...and yet I felt so alone and empty..
Sister, May Allah help you out and give us sabr and tahammul to deal with this.
@@asifali-cy5se i pray the same for you brother
@@arjumandsaeed6058 I experienced the same thing just because of practicing my religion.They started to force me to not practice it and I don’t know what to do
May Allah provide justice for all the oppressed children in this life and the next, Ameen 😞💔
Somebody has to go deeper on this subject. This is a big thing in our community.
I know a lot of children i grow up with they were actualy orphans. not littarly but they grow up without love our guidance from the parents. Dealing with aggression and manipulation, or mindgames to the point you dont even know who you are. Suffering with mental health issieus as a child and in adult life. I myself have to deal today with trauma and psst. I have trust issiues and cant let people in my life. As a result im 33 now and not married. The thing is u live your life and u dont even know, u only feel sick and strange and different. I had to raise myself and lived a very lonely life with a lot of selfdestruction. Since 2 years im praying now and step by step i now what life is all about. Alhamdullilah.
LAILAHILALLAH, ASLAM alkum sister/brother it's really sad what I just have read, and I know my talk wouldn't make much change but just like our beloved prophet Muhammad saw said this Ummah is like one body if one part of the body is in pain' then, all the body will feel it's effect, May ALLAH SWT bless u and guide u and help u from every derection and protect u and make it easy for u and grant you steadfastness in the path of Allah and have murcy on u and be please with u and protect u from the punishment of hell fire and grave and grant you Jannah at al ferdous AMEEN YA RABBALALMEEN
There's no solution for this... I wish my Nabi ﷺ was here 😓
Really missing him so much
Lonely in a relationship is real. You could be alone but not lonely. You are lonely when you are surrounded by toxic, cruel, controlling and oppressive family members. Some parents are best to their neighbours, colleagues, strangers but the worst with their own family members. Many people would say dont get angry to the oppressed, but never say dont oppress to the oppressor. The bystander would prefer to blame the victim and justify the oppression that that take place. Good deeds wont compensate the bad manners. But good manners will elevate the status of a muslim.
EXACTLY
i’m currently going through this and i harm myself most the time to cope with it which i know is wrong but i can’t control it. The timing on this video coming out was a blessing itself as i was in amidst thoughts of suicide.
For me its opposite. I want to kill my mother because i just can't tolerate her abuse anymore. Only because of fear of Allah i have not harmed her. How badly i want to treat her nicely. But i fail again and again and again...........................
Aslam alkum .Don't do it my bro or sis . Cuz allah said it not permissible to suicide . And there are millions or more of muslims who want to be alive and do one Prostration to allah ALHAMDULILLA you are still here , be patient Allah is with us and this life is a test , may allah make it easy for u , we all ganna die but inshallah with obedience to allah swt . We all belong to allah and we shall all return to him . May allah forgive us and guide us .ameen . ❤️❤️
LAILAHILALLAH, those parents' they should FEAR ALLAH, they should know that they're children BELONG to ALLAH, WHY and HOW ? Could they do that. They belong to Allah not to u how could u harm, a trust and a blessings a responsibility that ALLAH SWT gave it to you, those really took advantage of the blessings that Allah swt blessed them with, and don't worry brother or sister, Allah swt knows and he is just so, don't warry no one will understand more then Allah nor will love u more then Allah no will forgive u more then Allah no one will help u more then Allah and no one will understand more then Allah, don't warry bro/sis Allah swt only put them(parents) with u for a purpose and for period of time, u belong to Allah and they do, what they do will be judge, we will die one day and we will not be with our parents' when we die, we will be separated from them, we are servent of Allah and we belong to Allah not them. So, there judgement is with allah so are we. Only Allah knows what are we going true', it's really upsetting what I just heard from u guys, May ALLAH SWT make it easy for u guys and bless u and guide u and make us and u steadfastness in our religion and protect us from every derection and grant us eman and grant you guy's and my brothers/sisters Jannah at al ferdous AMEEN YA RABBALALMEEN
Who the hell as the right to make you feel like doing that to yourself and why are you harming yourself, you should be giving it back to them... Not even your parents have the right to do that to you.
May Allah punish those who are doing such a thing to their children. You stay strong. Allah is the Most Merciful sure he will help you to overcome this. Ameen
Thanks a lot Shaykh for addressing this issue. Jazakumullah khair !!! This issue needs constant reminders in Mosque and community. Its a big problem in our society. But ufortunately, no one is seriously discussing and talking.
May Allah help the people who are really being physically or mentally or verbally torture,from their parents... Though it is called the safest place of this world....
Only that people and Allah know how much hard this test is...and how it hurts
May Allah bless them ameen
Their is no safe place on earth for us... especially the girls
Alhamdulillah for this video.. finally it address our issues regarding abusive parents. may our parents realize all of these.. To my daughter, I promise myself not to follow my parents the way they raised me.
Me too promising my future kids not to follow foot steps of my mother she is a witch but father is nice he loves me a lot blessed to have in my life
@shahnazsultana6231 I have been through it too, but never say that about your mother. Would you wanna see your mother go to hell fire? Forgive her. Regardless of how she treated you, she also has rights upon you, so fulfill those as well. May Allah(s.w) make it easy for you
This didn’t really answer the question on what the young adult should do, or can do. It only repeated about disciplinary vs punishment, and West vs Muslim society. Jzk Khayr nonethenless still interesting topic
I cried watching this!!!
Your not alone 😭😭😭😭 it's a truma which is hard to heal from
@@muskansiddikee2171 i bared alot because i was scared of Allah... Those words he said really touched me!
It's like a blade slowly bleeding your heart and it stays with you always and Specially mental abuse is really bad , I know cause I been through
I'm pretty close
Most parents follow culture over religion
If only Rasullah SAW had discussed alot abt the punishments for parents who abused their children, they wld have been aware and be alot more careful abt the way they raise their kids. Sadly, only parents rights were much emphasised by the prophet and not the rights of children. That's why millions of parents abuse their kids and get their way with it and children suffer silently not knowing what to do. They end up growing up with PTSD and other mental illnesses. And eventually also harming their own kids as a result. Sometimes I wonder if the prophet could prophesize so much why didn't he talk abt the parents who will raise abused children?
Maybe he did. But the ones that relayed his messages only chose what was beneficial to them. And most were also parents. Just like how scholars are mostly parents, so may also think they aren’t suppose to be held accountable for their wrongs.
Prophet SAW talked about all unjustices. I'm sure he talked about emotional parental abuse as well as mentioned in the previous reply but it was never relayed
However anyone who is wronged will get their justice in akhira
So please just pray. I know it's unbearable, but there's nothing we can do
Until we don’t accept we have problem in our community we cannot change anything, kids might not openly talk about problems which we have been suffering due to multiple reasons or respect towards our faith, but as scholars need to start talking about all this topics openly that the problem exist and we have solution to it.
why not set up a Muslims foster home institution to help care and deal with these issues? It should be availlable for all youths to see refuge advice and clarity on such issues. I really hope they can make these
I want to do it now.
@@chickeninabox Insyallah brother hope you succeed, an be a precedent Insyallah
I just become afraid to talk with my toxic mom. Because she always make me feel like I am a stupid one, that's why I don't have any confidence into me nowdays in anything. Because she did it from my very childhood 😔
O you who have believed, be persistently standing firm in justice, witnesses for Allah, even if it be against yourselves or parents and relatives. Whether one is rich or poor, Allah is more worthy of both.” [Quran, 4:135]
Thanks ☺️
Subhanallah May Allah swt bless u and guide u and forgive u and be please with u, this is beautiful subahanallah. Jazakallah khair bro/sis
Oppression is a deed deemed to be punished whether u are a parent or not it doesn't matter Allah is just
So basically. NOTHING CAN BE DONE
Thank you so much for addressing this issue
Well said you touched on very sensitive issues that needed to be mentioned
Thank you
This is the first time I’ve seen any Muslim account or Islamic account address this. Good job
M scarred for rest of my life! My mind shuts down at times and I am totally unable to respond my surroundings and I feel like I am choking. But I can’t tell anyone. Because talking bad abt my parent makes me look so bad and I am considered the worst one no matter what parents do, the culprits are always children? I wish I had an option to choose different parents 😢
Im being psychologically abused and for my safety for my mental health I'm moving out. I think it's not so bad because sometimes leaving toxic relationships will help you with your mental health to be surrounded by positive thoughts and be more confident of yourself, its not a sin, they may be hurt when we leave or make a good boundary but your emotions and mental health matter too, Allah is not cruel and he is tje smartest of all. He will understand your situation i promise so do what you want to do what makes you feel more safe but beware of taking wrong stepz.
Most Arab parents are like this, and when you object, their answer is: This is normal, all families are like this.
What do we do if parents are mentally abusive for all of our adult life?
I can relate... You make dua. Try your best to educate/enlighten them by what Islam says is ok and is not. (Draw a healthy line-without fully isolating) Allah sees everything. May Allah make it easy on you and your sibling/s
@@TaMiMS1 Ameen….
salaam alaiykom brother!
Thank you so much for your kind words☝🏽
I do everything you have just stated, and I know very well this is my test and I always pray for my Dad to Allah’SWT’ to make easy for me and my parents.
My Father is so old school in his thoughts it’s shocking sometimes and when he feels he has me down “emotionally “ then he try’s to go for kill.
Metaphorically that is.
I am quite strong minded and I have Allah to help me navigate through this, but really, I worry for my Father more so.
He has no end to his darkness and it really hurts me when my own father can do and say things that is not good.
Allah’ knows best.
Thank you so much brother for reaching out.
Much appreciated 👊🏽
I pray our Iman stay’s strong and positive and we help each other in this beautiful umma.
I’m good Alhamdulilah!
I guess there is know limit’s when it comes to parents…
The harder the struggle the greater the reward .
@@Nana-oi4iz Aslam alkum dear bro/sis SUBAHANALLAH, SUBAHANALLAH, what a GREAT AND BEAUTIFUL patient only Allah knows how much u gone true and how patient were u, subahanallah don't warry bro/sis ur patient will never never go to waste the greater the test the greater the reword, and Allah knows u can handle it, that's why he is testing u with this test, and Allah swt test who he loves, for tmi ( too much information) I was similing reading ur comment it is...so.. . Beautiful.. it really granted me happiness seeing the way u are handling ur test it's understandable and subahanallah beautiful , I am very happy for u and at the same time there is something in my heart that is heavy, only really allah swt knows what are u really going true', the only think that I can help u with, May ALLAH SWT BLESS and bless u and forgive u and be please with u forever and have murcy on u and grant u more happenies then u grated me and make it easy for u and protect u and forgive and have murcy on ur Father and grant you success in this World and the next and May ALLAH SWT grant u the highest Jannah, Jannah at al ferdous and make u the neighbour of our beloved prophet Muhammad saw AMEEN YA RABBALALMEEN, sometimes by Just a comment u become so inspired ☺️ SUBAHANALLAH
And don't forget my bro's/sis's the dua of the one who have been oppressed, there is nothing between them and Allah even if the person is a disbeliever if he call to allah and he is oppressed LAILAHILALLAH, I can't imagine but pls be careful of who u are making dua for so, be careful who u wrong, May ALLAH SWT protect us
You are an adult, put allah first not your parents... you are allowed to maintain a respectful distance and its THEM you pray for so Allah opens there heart and mind... Nobody has the right to abuse you not even your parents, they are people just like you and me. They are not superior because allah says so, allah means that towards parents who follow allahs guidance on how to be good people who in turn become good parents... its these types of parents that deserve respect.
A very important subject raised.
Whatever my parents do to me, first thing i do is, i look up i say ow allah, whatever happens to me those are still my parents, and please forgive them for whatever they did to me ameen🤲
You have such a good heart
Me too... I did the same May allah (swt😊forgive them because as a father and mother I love them alot and that's what islam teach us...inside there is alot of pain but it's ok ALLAH is with me🥺❤
i don't think they abuse you, you are blessed with your parents that's why you can make dua for them. if they abused you< you'd have just cried to Allah SWT to escape that place.
May Allah SWT bless Ustaz Gabriel. We all have been in this sort of situation in our life. I used to ill treat my son too I still feel guilty for all what I did to my son. May Allah SWT forgive me
Hmmm thats true in my country Indonesia when the goverment get reports of child abuse the child will be taken to their other family/relative sometime neighbors not to strangers while the parents get punished by law
Thank you so much for understanding this issue ❤️
Wallah I appreciate how you’ve addressed this situation… ♥️♥️♥️
I get abused everyday yet I am married and my mum even verbally abused my husband so much so that we have stopped going there
stay away from her then.. there must be consequences.. she wasn;t raised t o be a decent human .. dont be polluted by her
Same here my children I myself and my husband are always being critisised
Same here..same exactly here
Save yourself...make yourself independent and leave them if you find the opportunity...it isn't bad...because it will make you a good and sane person...because if you kept living with them you will develop all their traits knowingly or unknowingly and you will become equally abusive for others.. so save others and yourself just leave
Never had my mother advice me or say anything positive praise.. Instead it's always verbal abuse
11:45 I swear to God, ive lived in a muslim community my whole life and no muslim has ever,ever cared about what parent and child relations
The only thing that comes to my mind after seeing this is 'Who r u telling all this to?'. You think the abusive parents will see this video and miraculously change themselves for the sake of Allah?. Yea the only thing that's gonna happen is when we grow up and have kids we'll treat them as per islam so that they don't have to cry in sujood for Allah's mercy :)
I think this is an important topic to discuss and to continue funding on it even getting government assistance from to care for both sides parents and children’s👈💪☝️👍
Walaiqum Assalaam Wa Rahmatullaahi Wa Barakaatuhu ❤️❤️❤️
abuse is very common in cultures that promote controlling and manipulative behavior towards others.
We should discuss this as well a critical topic children are always under pressure how to deal with abusive parents they instigate their children to disrespect them and then make their children responsible for their bad behavior,it is too common in parents to get angry on tiny household chores and things 😢 parents ruin the personalities their innocent sometime.
you know what at first I was like that easily get angry esp. when my son is doing something bad I get easily angry but Masha Allah after making tawbah I am hardly get angry now and I am more calm now!!!
but I never cursed my son because I know it can affect him really big!!
Masha'Allah what a good parent you are, lucky children of yours to have a mindful/thoughtful parent who is not arrogant and full of pride.
I wish I could show my mum this 😭
imām al-awzāʿī (رحمه الله) said:
“there's not an hour from the hours of the worldly life except that it will be shown to the slave on the day of judgment, day by day, hour by hour. and not an hour passes of which Allāh - the Most-High - was not remembered in, except that it will be a cause of distress upon a persons soul. so how about someone who goes through hour by hour, day by day, and night after night without remembering his Lord?”
[ḥilyah al-awlīyāʾ, 6/124]
Question: Kindly quote one ayah of the
Holy Qur'an, one Hadith-e-Mubarika which says clearly and unequivocally that Abusive Parents actually exist. Thanks.
Mujāhid reported: A man threw a sword at his son, which killed him. He was brought to ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) for judgment. ‘Umar said: "Had I not heard the Messenger of Allah (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) say: ‘A father is not to be killed (in retribution) for killing his child,’ I would have ordered you to be killed before you leave."
My Dad, Physically Abusive. My Mom, Verbally Abusive, little Physically. Both Mentally, Emotionally, Psychologically Abusive. Even now in my 30, its been 16 since both divorce & i live with Mom. Mom become even more Abusive & her mouth is so Rich of Words.
Just few days ago, Mom still angry as I failed holding my Cat as they fight as she stay un dining room. Mom knew I was & am still very actively Ashtma for almost a week. I told her i did held one of the cat but then i took a menthol to breath it like smoke it as my breathing was heavy. She still continue spread her languages with volume up.
It's not always the case that there will be a mark on the child resulting from abuse. Sometimes; children are hurt through active play.
we can see the effect of daily trauma on child's brains s . there are clear characteristics of slow down in growth of certain brain areas when a child is emotionally abused daily .. whether or not you have visible recording catching the child abusive parent in the act.. they aren't caring for their kid if their brain is stunted to the point where it will affect the rest of their life if they dont get away from the parent.. abusive parents wont be able to justify their failures soon and i wellcome holding parents accountable for their childs well being .. no child deserves to be disabled for life due to a failure of a parent. and parents "rights" or feelings will ever matter more than their kids basic human rights to grow in good health - bad parenting must be stamped out
It's strange hearing him have to urge people that it's true what parents do... For some time I thought this was the norm. Subhan Allah
There's evil everywhere, even amongst mothers, unfortunately 😢
What to do when a parent has for the whole life belittled , humiliated, degraded, accused for things that were not the kid's mistake, all the time made fun of the kid's achievements etc so much that the child gets different psychological issue and yet to hear WHAT DID I DO? I DIDN'T SAY OR DO THIS (straight denials)
Please pray for Singaporean Muslims
I pray to Allah that if I would be a father like that 'Never give me an opportunity to be a father' 😔
Out of 5 siblings my mother abuse me alot at first I didn't understand why but as I grew I understand is because of my father whom I still don know... she's so unforgiven and I believe because she's not able to get back at my dad I have to pay the price... I've given her my time and youth but still....it's really unfair ya allah
Look i have no father and my mom tells me that he was a nobody and that i would be like him and drunk and die a nobody. But i had to teach my self how to be a Muslim and everything nobody help me with that and i'm 16 year old that lives in EU had to stop my self to not sell drugs or take them, drink alcohol or smoke and still she calls me not a real man and she is Muslim her self wallah i'm just tired of this shit.
It is quite popular that male children suffer in the hands of their mothers when there's no much love for the fathers. I can totally relate. We gotta remain strong, not only for ourselves, but also for our future kids. We shall prevail and overcome in the end.
Please advise parents how to be a good parent rather than what is not allowed so they can learn. It’s not fair on the children as most of the time communities are relatives of parents and know each other so the child is not allowed to tell or will be punished double. I think the route to a good family upbringing is the mother of she is genuinely interested in a family.
I wish more videos would talk about how abusive parents are doing evil by abusing their power. And really send a message to these abuse parents so they understand. This video like many Islamic videos will dance around the issue but it doesn’t fully address it. Don’t worry about west and cops! They’re doing it the right way to protect children. Instead of speaking about kids being with non Muslims and talk about the evil that goes on with parents who justify their abuse! Everyone is so scared to talk about truth!
There is no place in Islam to abuse anyone, be is emotional, physical etc. Islam does not expect us to be abused. Parents are not above the sharia. If you are getting abused then take steps to protect yourself within the boundaries is Islam and as a last resort distance yourself. Scholars need to speak up more about this as it’s more common these days as the increase in rise in narcassism, etc. Focus on Allah Ta’ala and His Habib ﷺ and be a good person and protect yourself and your imaan as many a people hate Islam due to the upbringing they had. Islam is beautiful and it’s the people that may be not. Again I say that if you’re being abused then protect your wellbeing, do not accept bad treatment doesn’t matter if it’s parents or anyone else but always follow the way of the Beloved Prophet ﷺ in your behaviour. If you need help seek a good Muslim counsellor or a scholar who is empathetic as well as educated in psychology. May Allah Ta’ala protect us all from those who harm us, Ameen
How can parents abuse and become enemy of their own child whom they Gave birth through bcoz of parents kids come in this world
My mother has abused me verberlly emotional mentally all my life swearing cyrsing although i wS there for her showed her love was obedient yet she did, only Allah know why, also very very controlling, then adult life degrading purting me down infrint of other siblings sisters, made me feel small n worthless, not loving me ever support me in any crisis
Bt always wanting to know what going in my life evan this was in married life she never stopped,
I just took it, hurted me use to cry bt i took if i stand up for myself she would make my life more hell,
Now im 57 , she has stopped some things still dont love me, never care when i go through something bad, as she there fir her other kids
Always still try to want to control me, i have depression, many health issues, there so many other things
All i have done, turn a blind eye forgive her everytime, she has donr this all my life to me
Now i resent her , strarted, i can get really ill because of this
She, at this age she still want to control me,
Throughout my life,
You were supposed to give solution not what's going on
Ya Allah Forgive Us
It's always children fault no matter whatever mother do and even if she destroy u u still have to respect her
It's all nice until you face the abuse
Despite being 57 years old, my father calls himself a Larka (young-man) & his age fellows Larkay (young-men). He is ill-mannerred, disrespectful, has negligible concern for others feelings & sometimes even taunts me. He has worked in KSA & Kuwait as a salesman of cars spare-parts for most of his life. My mother is also like my father. Both of them act like as if they are one of the most respected individuals of the society despite being moderately educated & belonging to a purely middle class family. My father's number is 5th in 10 siblings & mother's number is 4th in 6 siblings & both are first cousins to each other, married in 1987. I'm the eldest with my 2 younger siblings, now over 30 being mild to moderate intellectually disabled. I'm a government school teacher in District Nankana, Pakistan. I'm married to my phupho's daughter since 2016 & have 3 daughters. They didn't even ask me if I liked any girl before marriage. Although my father has told me a couple of times that he wants second marriage for himself despite my mother being alive. He often scolds me especially when I'm alone with him despite me being 34. I'm an MA in English from PU. It drains my mental peace.
Mudasir you have an igo , you think yourself very highly , and think your parents very lowly . You stressed that you are masters in English from Pak univ. Pray for them.
Same thing with Christians orphanages I. The USA. God bless
As Salaam alaikum sir
Shukran sir
May Allah SWT bless us all always aameen
It is a very needed topic for me especially
"ME"
Allah SWT knows what is this and how it is going
My parents think I am a hurdle for them in the middle and stopping barakah and money issues at home
Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah Astaghfirullah
In which Home ? Which girl is blamed like this you only tell me?
Ya Allah SWT
Unfortunately there are more horrible things going on in the world
But it doesn't mean humanity and religious rules are to be lost
May Allah SWT always give good guidance to all the people in this world
Ameen summa ameen
Make dua all of you please Believe in Allah SWT who is the most merciful
Recite Surah Al Fatiha Don't give chance to bad doers please
🤝☪️🙏🙏🙏🙏
Its sad to hear this. May Allah give you sabr to deal with.
salla Allah alaihi wa salam alhamdoelilah wa sukr lillah astagfirallah al3adim wa atoub ilaih allahuma ameen
Everything here is so abusive even in the school, home or in the masjid even our country imam also beat the children like hell. I'm one of them. I was 9 yrs old. I pronounced 1 Arabic letter wrongly and then he slapped me from then I stopped going to the masjid because I was so scared to go. And now I'm 16 but still I can't recite Quran. It's so shame to say like this and I can't say this as reason so now I'm learning to recite quran by my self. I have a phone on my hand so I can learn everything on it. In school also all teachers are like this, they love beat us. And my father too. Yesterday night I got beaten up. Can't understand is this is a punishment or Allah is testing me ? All I want run away from this country and from this people. Proudly saying my country's name SRI LANKA.
100 % brother
u are awesome
I right now have that problem,and I don't know what to do anymore, I need help
It's been a year, how are you doing now brother
I have an Eating Disorder and my mother doesn't understand it she asks me to just quit what i do but she doesn't understand it's difficult for me but I'm trying my best ,she taunts and torments me and I get angrier and become disrespectful towards her but i feel very guilty and ashamed later on i feel like I'm dying inside ,i don't want to misbehave and argue with my mother, i love her but she doesn't corporate with me ,she expects fast recovery, what should i do?
Nice video
“A lot of our problems will be resolved if we were in a Muslim system “. These issues are worse in Muslim countries but somehow it’s the systems fault. It’s almost like he’s scared to say it’s a problem within the Muslim community. Yes the western world dose have the same problem and he’s talking about how “shocking” it is , when they do it they don’t use the holy Quran and a Hadith to justify what they do so I’d say it’s worse in the Muslim community because we have a blueprint” the Quran and suna “ but that only gets used against the child.
Okay so what should a kid do? That question was never answered
My mother had me circumcised and alienated my father so I didn't have him in my life. Is paradise at her feet?
What happens when abusive parents curse children when they don't submit. Do these curses have effect?
Is emotional damage specific the name callin
From 12:44 people ,before that is intro
AMEN
Salam uaileikum. But you didn't explain if we can stop the relationship with our parents or not in such cases...
Spiritual abuse
Please interpret muslims & non- Muslims according to their abusive behavior. Don't separate religion on the basis of the inheritances alone .
parents sucks, they gave me life, I hate living
LAILAHILALLAH, bro/sis what are u saying? Life is a blessing but it's blessing for those who see it as a blessing and a hell for those who see it as a bad place but u should know that happiness is not achieve in this life and u can't look for happiness in this life so, it will be Hard, but it will be easy for those who are patient and and eman and god consciousness because they truly understand what is the meaning of life, May ALLAH SWT forgive our short caming and protect us and make our relationship with our parents full of love and passion and honour and respect for eachother and May ALLAH SWT BLESS you bro/sis and have murcy on u ameen ya rabb
@@افراحابراهيم-ن4ن it is hell for those damned with an abusive parents..we need to be stricter with punishing abusive parents .. they are a nuisance to society and should be separated from it.
@@jantelopez5626 yeah
u must be going through something will u tell me?
so now how should i act around them and deal with them
lol, non-muslims does not just mean the Christians of the west
Allah deals with them
Assalamu Alaikum brother,
Can you help me by saying the font you use, please?
What about a 20 years old smoking weed and depending on there father mother and he tells his mom hussshhh is that right please answer me because my son sent me this video and taken advantage of this video please 🙏🏻 reply
Assalamualaikum. Surah Al Isra ayat 23 - "And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], “uff,” and do not repel them but speak to them a noble word." Hopefully, this ayat answers your question. This is a double-edged sword - in your case, your son has taken advantage of you and your husband's kindness but I hope you would keep in mind that even you could use this as your "advantage", a.k.a. "weapon", against your son as per mentioned by Ustaz Nouman Ali Khan himself. Many of us watching this video here are children who have been hurt by our parents, I am hoping that you don't do that to your son either by having this powerful ayat to your advantage. Don't let him be one of us. Try to help him by educating yourself on parenting. I am sorry if I have stepped over any boundaries or hurt you in any way, this is just my sincere advise because broken children are usually a result from childhood trauma (learnt this from Psychology).
I'm the only child can I leave my parents?
🙏🇮🇩
I was searching for that soo long but i need an clearer answer pls what to do
How shall we deal with abusive WIFE? 🤔
I seen that in many places.
@@allykhan8594 what have you seen in many places?
tell her exactly what is unacceptible .. see how she treats the kids.. if she abuses them .. divorce her and send her packing .. more mothers mentally abuse their kids than fathers.. you will know within a couple of years if they are capable of change - never normalise abuse.. if they arent changing their brain is damaged and they need to seek help .. and you need to protect the kids