If you are victim of a narcissist you are already a kind compassionate introspective good person as the narcissist recognised these qualities in you and preyed on them hence making you the victim. Only narcissistic abuse survivors know this. Narcissistic people rarely change their ways it's better for you to run!! Any abuse victims readimg this please realise you are a good decent person who deserves a spouse who values, loves, cherishes you and overlooks your flaws and focuses on your positive attributes and you naturally do the same. Trust in Allah and you WILL find peace Insha'Allah
Narcissists are very sick people...they can't see their own sickness. MashaAllah loved this Alhamdulilah wa shukriLilah that Allah saved me from a toxic relationship with a narcissist that seems a long time ago now.
So bad character, I experienced it with my ex, I start having doubt of my personality and self, I was looking like I was wrong in doing every single thing in my life...but AlhamduLillah I read Quran everyday, make duaa, never stopped my worshipping, Allah swt pulled me from that relationship, it was very short time but it seemed like forever, then after I felt so down, it took me so many months to heal from the trauma....anyone living with narssistic there is no way to survive normal except by the mercy of Allah swt.
I completely understand you, Allah helped me escape too, I thought my life was over and I was losing my mind and I am trying to heal from 20+yrs. You are very lucky because most of us victims waisted years without any clue what we were dealing with and was hoping for the narcissist to change
Allah SWT took me out after 2 yrs of being married to a Narcissist Husband (and into a Narcissistic family aswell). Allah deliberately didn't get me pregnant with him although it was highly possible. Alhumdulilah. All that I am today is because of Allah. I am nothing without Him. He is my Waliyy; Protective friend, and Al Wadud; the Most Loving ❤ and yes I did want my Husband to change, I gave him so many chances, I tried to direct him to the right and tell him about this disorder. But he threw away all of those chances. Very sad... May Allah SWT guide him to the right path, Ameen.
Jazakallahu kheiran for the lecture. It is extremely hard to understand what a narcissistic partner does to his/her spouse if you did not go through it yourself. I was in such a bad relationship. After 3,5 years in, I felt more more sick. I had to learn more and more about this traits. So, my ex fulfilled every trait. Nobody will believe you BECAUSE this person is so nice, loving and charming to everyone except for you at home.
Can’t agree more. Only recently did I realize why I never felt the love back. Why it always felt like I was in a one-sided relationship. Why I had only responsibilities but no rights. Why I was always wrong and never right. Why I was always dumb and never worthy of making an intelligent decision. I let it all slide, because I was madly in love. I took all those accusations in jest. After 18 years of marriage and 3 kids, only recently did I find out about narcissistic personality disorder. Ya Allah!
@@justicebringspeace this is exact story I have brother. I just let it slide and created a bad habit in her. It’s after 18 years and 3 kids I said enough is enough. Even during process of separation she wanted to come back without accepting anything and defending lies as usual
@Mohammed Siraj Your partner doesn't realise how blessed and lucky she was to have your unconditional love for her despite everything. As quaint as it sounds, all good things comes to an end when one is ungrateful and self entitled. Narcissism is very common amongst females for some reason, or maybe because they are not truly on the path of deen. They are selfish and self absorbed. Had one been on the path of deen you would possess compassion, empathy, love, mercy and understanding. Instead of being selfish and counting all that you can get for yourself and how you must win at all costs. Always. At the end, we can walk away to preserve our mental and physical well-being and ask Allah to grant these heart-diseased people hidayah.
First imaam that has delivered a speech and awareness of Narcissism. Experts in psychology say that Narcissistic personality disorder is not curable but people can adjust their behaviour if involved in a relationship, friendship or business. Some narcissists are unaware of their condition and reject anything wrong with them whilst the aware ones know they have these traits but cannot but help themselves being like this. After studying over a period of time about this disorder, I know can recognise any traits that are within me as well as identify those with it. They most effective way to deal with Narcs is to abandon them but after trying to help them. They have very little emphathy and treat people like appliances. They get you to attach yourself emotionally with them but they have no genuine feelings for you. Avoid them
Narcissism is the opposite character a true believer. Yes ...solution is only with Allah and Islam. No 2 ways about it. Read about true believer must have qualities then 1 will know the essence of good akhlaq. Prophet Muhammad SAW was sent to the world to perfect our akhlaq. The more we do dakwa of Allah the more Allah will correct our internal faults (by self reflection or self realisation). Wallahu alam.
Google Aafiya Healing he talked about narcissim 3 years ago. I‘m a „survivor“ after a mother and husband .They have destroyed me sooo much.I am still in my healing prosess. Whatever Allah swt wanted for me,I accept it as a test.It‘s very hard to believe what happens to me and my children. May Allah swt forgive them.🤲🏼
@@samye1385 I’m in a similar situation with regards to my husband, Subhan’Allah. Married for 22 years, but only recently felt the extremity of his traits. My children have lost someone who never really existed and his Narcissistic rage became just evil. May Allah help us and our children...Ameen. This test has overwhelmed me, it’s all I can think about, especially as he left us 6 months ago due to a situation that I was trying to tell him was wrong and damaging me psychologically. We are stuck in limbo with fictional characters who pretended to love us, the injustice is devastating.
I am shocked that there is a video on Narcissism in the Islamic perspective. Narcissists are extremely detrimental to mental health. The trauma bond is one of the worst things one can experience (imagine knowing 100% that the person is evil but completely unable to leave them) and these things need to be talked more so people can gain the strength to recognize, get out of relationships and protect themselves from getting involved with another one in the future.
@EnchantedbyNunu that trauma bond is so strong, so powerful, that you are willing to take all the abuse in the world just so you don't feel those awful withdrawal symptoms of leaving the narcissist. It is truly agonizing. I pray to Allah to help those who are going through it because it could possibly be one of the toughest things to experience in this life.
Subhan’Allah!! I’ve just come out of a long marriage with a person who has these traits, it almost caused an emotional breakdown. I’ve watched so many videos, but Alhamdulillah for this one, I really wanted an Islamic perspective. They make you feel crazy and the lack of love for their spouse and children is devastating...Subhan’Allah. I can’t seem to find anyone to help me with my situation because most don’t understand or recognise this personality disorder. More should be created to help the Ummah with this disease as it’s literally destroying hearts, minds and families.
@Yabbe u Brother, I believe you. This is EXACTLY the type of things they would do. No empathy what so ever. Then they treat you worse and worse everytime because they think you won't leave. They are right though, it feels impossible to leave. Once you leave another bigger challenge happens, you can't stop thinking about them for only God knows how long. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
The most I'm afraid of in this entire world is my own heart, how it could flip without me catching it. Ya muqallibal quloob thabbit qalbi ala dheenik -Oh turner of hearts, keep my heart firm on the deen.
And the strange thing is, when you have a narcissist in your life, deep down in your soul you feel so utterly bad for them. You wish they could be healthy. You still want good for them as a human being. It’s so exhausting honestly💔
I really enjoyed this lecture, but I think the first few minutes should come with a warning that of you’re a survivor of abuse they aren’t meant for you. I have a few people I don’t feel comfortable sending this too, since they are suffering from PTSD from abusive relationships. Their partners would call them a narcissist and they believed it. I’m afraid them seeing imam Omar say we need to look at ourselves would be harmful for such people. InshaAllah the rest of the khutbah was beautiful
That makes sense. I saw a bunch of comments here talking about others being narcissistic but the entire khutbah is about reflecting on ourselves. But thinking of those comments through the lense of what you said is also true, if someone is in an abusive relationship then this could be very confusing. May Allah help us all and guide us to His light.
I understand, I felt my eyes tearing up . But this Khutbah is meant for self reflection. It makes one praise Allah and be thankful for HIs mercy that HE allowed you to come to this knowledge , and is wanting you to self reflect so that your heart doesn’t become hard whilst living with an abuser.
Once you acknowledge that your spouse is potential narcissist and accept him/herself as a trial by Allah and then ask for help from Allah with Salah and sabr ..Allah makes that trial easier for u and it's also possible that ALLAH make it even beneficial for your worldly life and the hereafter.
Please, NEVER accept to use yourself as a target practice for these sick people, EVER! They are darkness through and through and the longer you stay with or around them, the longer you devalue yourself. RUN!
Great explanation Sheikh I think this is why Islam is spreading so fast in the West that even European institutions say Europe will be Muslim in 50 years Islam teaches morals, solves depression, anxiety, personality disorders such as narcissism and psychopathy. It brings peace, that’s why it’s touching the hearts of so many every day and that’s why it’s the dominant way of life in the world.
So refreshing to finally see an imam address a real issue which is prevalent amongst the Muslim community. You have to be in the situation to understand how deep rooted and messed up it actually is with the trauma bond and gaslighting. SubhanAllaah, to think it is the characteristics of iblees and firaaun, now can you imagine what it’s like living with a modern day tyrant, it’s being alive but emotionally dead. May Allah help all of us who are married or living with a narcissist and grant us patience, one thing that always gets me through is knowing my lord will not burden me with more than I can handle, and verily with hardship comes ease. Sometimes your ease isn’t in the dunya, so we hold on to our deen, when we walk through the gates of jannah we will be free of those people inshallah, enjoying the view beneath the garden which rivers flow. Ameen. Stay strong x
MashaAllah. Sister... I have become so... rude stubborn. After foing through his abuse... please make dua for me... to become a person who lives only for allah
A lot of single men and women nowadays will say, “I” can’t settle for this or that person because, “I” bring so much to the table.” We should remember that all of our blessings are from Allah(swt).
I completely agree with Mr Omar Suleiman to a certain extent but what we need to differentiate is narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. We all, as Muslims, have to do an introspection work in ourselves and indeed identify whether we have narcissistic traits and how to deal with them, and I think it's completely reachable to people who are narcissists. However, for people who have a narcissistic personality disorder it's a complete different matter as one of the biggest traits they have is that their pathology prevents them from questioning themselves. They have this inability and they're not entitled and everything that happens to them is because someone led them to do such thing or react that way or even think that way. There isn't a problem with them and so they think the others are the problem. They even tend to twist the reality to the extent where the victim of narcissistic abuse thinks they are the narcissist. May Allah grant us knowledge and open our eyes to our drawbacks so we can become better human beings. Ameen.
I think what you're trying to say is we need to link Quran with psychology not the other way around because the Quran and Hadeeth has lots of psychology, it is us who need to understand the real meaning behind these words. It is there, we are just too "lazy" to read what was written hundreds years ago instead we just look at the modern days
Living with a narcissist is beyond explanation to top it all co-parenting with narcissist is literally living hell every day. But hikkmallah, we know less, Allah plans. Trust Allah 🤲
I have narcissistic people on my ex husband side it’s really scary they don’t fear Allah I also remind myself not to have those traits I pray we all become better each day I pray for all narcissists to come back to Allah
OMG! Thank you for finally finding out about Narcissism. I put up with it for many many years and nobody knew about it now ppl can Google it and there are psychologists talking about it now Al Hamdullah Alhamdulilah
Jazakallah for this. The world needs to become aware of this. I was a victim of a covert narcs abuse family society nobody knew or understood why i divorced him. My Allah knows so thats enough for me Alhamdulilllah 🤲
That would be because the person with NPD doesn't believe they have an issue, they believe their partner is the issue. They can own up(admit) to mistakes, but blame you. They never accept accountability which is to acknowledge your feelings because of their actions, which is where the deflecting and blame shifting comes in. They can even repackage things from blaming you to blaming you and them. They will never truly be vulnerable, because they want to avoid guilt and shame.
Reflect yourself in 1. If you are using the word I. Too often. 2. If you are thinking that you are better than anyone else. 3. If you are proud of wolrdy possessions you have. Eg money, power, knowledge etc.
Assalamualaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu! Can't thank you enough for talking about this topic- as a mental health professional, I can't stress how many people suffer due to Narcissistic family members. May Allah guide us to become introspective and aware of others. Aameen!
For 28 years I have been suffering emotionally. mentally even physically due to very very high trait of my better half's narcissistic borderline disorder along with borderline disorder issues . I don't know how I m still holding on to this marriage for so long but this sort situation can destroy any one lives if he or she doesn't move on with out looking back . Even a shrink told me that I need treatment because a normal human being cannot sustain a relationship which is so toxic for so long and its all due to my very low self esteem. So I know for sure how painful to live with one who has such spiritual disease.
As a mental health professional though, do you not think there's an over-estimation as to how many people are actually dealing with narcissists though? Only about 10% of men are narcissists and even less are women, yet it seems everyone in the comments and on Twitter has been in a relationship with one. Most people in the world are selfish. Confusing self-centeredness with narcissism is very common, please don't make this mistake as a mental health professional.
@@helsharidy123 Are you quoting a research paper when you say 10% of the men are narcissistic? To the contrary, my understanding comes from 9 years of experience in this field with clients and colleagues who give me alarming numbers of people who come from families with a narcissistic parent. Self-centredness is the beginning of narcissism and it doesn't take long to get there when people are misguided. In fact, the thing looked down upon by Allah is Hasad (envy) and Iblis was the biggest example of a narcissist. If that was enough for Allah to banish him, then the debate of narcissism or self centredness doesn't hold good. I see this as one of the signs of Qiyamah where people don't care about their kin and cheat them. Hope this clears the air.
The most disturbing part for me is that even someone who is praying and reciting Quran can be like this. The one that’s in my life made me feel that I was always inferior when it came to Islam, and I believed he was very humble and just. Over two decades later, I’m still trying to understand how he can act the way he does and still not understand that his character is quite ugly, especially as he has no love for our children and myself. Unfortunately I enabled his behaviour, I just thought it was his difficult childhood and that he needed to be looked after. Little did I know that he would so easily discard me for shiny new/old supply. Subhan’Allah 😔🤍
A Farouk, unless you have been a subject to this evil, you will never understand how damaging this is to a person’s mind and heart. I will post what I wish, especially if it can raise awareness and especially as there is NO ONE from my community that understands this, even in the mosques. Narcissists cause spiritual and emotional abuse on many levels, it’s wrong and it is evil, I will not be silenced, victims will NOT be silenced. May Allah protect us from this evil...Ameen
JazakAllah khairun dear Imam Omar Suleman. I wish these types of topics were discussed in the Jummah khutba in Pakistan as well. Deep insight into character building and psychology of a momin and others is discussed very rarely.
This topic of "Narcissism" is a very taboo topic. No one understand this disorder until someone experience it. Thanks to Sheikh who is opening this topic in the public. I've been searching this on the internet but I've never watched any ulamas or islamic motivators, Daaehs who acknowledges this type of disorder. It's either you have to be full of Sabar/patient or you have to disobey Allah. Yes indeed, dealing with someone with this type kf personality disorder is a test but I think with a support system approach, at least we can prevent ourselves or others to become like one. So still, we have to bring this topic to the the public. To raise awareness especially for every household cause most of the main causes and roots of this type of personality disorder mostly starts from the family upbringing.
My mother and husband both are narcissists. I’m sick and tired of both of them. I’ve been seeing my mother always accusing and belittling my father. My husband does the same with me. I tried many times to make these people understand, but I failed.
Do not tell them your secret Sleep onother room Prepare your financial independence Make istiqfaar and suratu baqara and salalahu alayhi wasalam Make self love,self care,self steam,self acceptance,self defense,self confidence ,etc Your peace is number one in your life Dont urgue with them when they start manipulating move that place
I love how he points out that we need to start analysing ourselves first. Onmy then can you have empathy, even for a nacissist. We all have some narcissm in us. May Allah swt guide us in improving ourselves.
I have a narcissist mom and physicallly, mentally emotionally i am broke. but at the same time i cant leave her because i am the only daughter and there is such as unwritten rule where the daughter must care and live with their parents to take care of them... and i feel like i live in prison fir the rest of life,,, the only thing i can do is wake up at the night and pray to Allah hope before i die i can experience what is free life..... imagine living for 29 years and dont know the street near my house cause i always have to stay at home and do the chores and another task that my mom told me to do,, meanwhile i just can see my brothers go outside and do what they want to do.... i often hide in the backyard and cry for my self,,, i dont know what is beauty life,,,...
Me too I was very pleased though, this should be a global issue to be discussed,I bet a lot of people are under this excruciating situation and aren't even aware what they dealing with
great lecture, think i`m more fascinated by the lady doing the sign language ! I could see her gestures describing narcissism bought a smile to my face
Subhanallah..😭 Jazakalllah Khayr ya Sheikh. Your words hit me deep down 😭😭😭 May Allah protect my heart n all of our hearts from arrogance n pride 😭آمين 🤲🏽🧎🏽♀️
MASHALLAH!! This is a very beautiful video, by the way, i’m a Muslim from Italy who just found your channel searching “what Allah thinks of narcissists”(due to a personal experience with a narcissist) and the message you shared made me subscribe instantly!!
Yes SubhanAllah! It's the new word for arrogance! And passed around in the medical world as if it's a part of " mental illness"! Jazakallahu Khayr your works are fruitful, welcoming and helpful May Allah Azzwajal reward you immensely
Narcissists don’t self reflect; the personality disorder means that they are right and everyone else is wrong. If you reflect and wish to better yourself, you may have narcissistic traits that you can heal and override but a narc will never heal because they don’t believe there’s anything wrong with them. And Allah knows best
Salaam dearest brother Suleiman! Your lecture is a reminder for all of us not to fall into this trait. This is so bad. Many of us are too proud of our own race, background, achievements and positions. Narcissist loves to gaslight someone too.
My husband is also a Narcisst after a 8 years of relationship and 4 doughters i just give up because i feel physically and mentally all the time so sick and tired and all i can remember in this 8 years i laugh with him only a few times and the rest of 8 years i cried every next day but nothing changed... Now i have to leave but it hurt
You should ask Allah swt to soften his heart, If Allah swt can turn the darkness of the night into daylight He can also change any situation, May Allah swt make it easy for you Ameen
Great!! You did get away from a monster in human form, girl! It's a big deal getting away from such vampires..you took a big step, Now breath freely, in sha Allah you will find your way easier from now.
Narcism is present in 80% of people, especially men. You run away from one you will catch four others. Work on yourself first, for the sake of your girls and have faith in Allah that your husband will change at least to the point where he is liveable.
If you live with a nacissist only then will you truly understand. Iv lived with a man who only sees himself. Thinks he is perfect. Points flaws at me. Everything is about him and he constantly degrades me belittles me.
I get you pain , however the message has summarized my long term research on narcissism. My Dad is a super narcissist. I wanted to be opposite to him but info. I got revealed that I may end up or a narcissist. The imam's message has acted as a self healing procedure.
May Allah swt bless you Shaykh for such an important topic. None of us are immune to this. May Allah swt make us Allah centred and not self centred as the Shaykh said.
I think my father is a narcissist he was never a real father that cares about his children and wife emotions. All he does is work for us (and he keep bringing that up to as as if he is doing us a favor) and enter the home angry at us and always serious, we all grow up away from him unlike my mom who is like our friend, we never had a open conversation with him and laughs with him like normal children do with their parent and when we do something wrong he will always blame my mom and shout at her and sometimes even break things in the house. We all grow up without a real father. Anyways now non of us can talk and spend time with him because for us he is a complete stranger (even though we lived with him in the same house). Now he is blaming us why we don't talk to him and laugh with him like other children do.
Well said. A lot of Muslims including me nowadays have this inflated sense of self - thinking we are humble and we are loud and arrogant and judgemental and actually hurting people
The very reason why there was no one coming to the Sheikh suspecting themselves a narcissist, is because simply the definition of a narcissist is somebody who is self-centered, and doesn't see themselves having an issue 😅. Most probably people who came for help were the victims of narcissistic partners or family. Narcissists usually wouldn't seek a spiritual solutions to their life's problems.
yeah for real , they always think they’re above it lol. ppl can be narcissistic without being narcissists. but as sheikh said, may we remove those traits and work on ourselves and not let the narcs have any mental hold over us ameen
Exactly. My ex once said to me that he can't place his trust in Allah because Allah is too slow and he (narc) has a better way to steer his life!!! How can someone like this own up to having such massive spiritual disease? The worst part is that he's so adept at morphing from a grandiose narc to a covert narc, overt narc, basically, he rapidly reads a room and wears the appropriate mask for the occasion!
This has been the lecture and the cornerstone of tazkia nafs. So much needed! Living with narcs now I feel it is contagious too. A hadith about those who finds others doing evil 'doesn't dies until he develop same evil habit. Its Science proven
I was astounded when I found this video 😢😭🥳🥳🥳🥳 Oh my ALLAH it’s such a relief… I come on to UA-cam everyday to binge watch on narcissism and I felt guilty that the most I must insightful information I’m getting on here are mostly from non Muslims and to know that the most effective way to be free from this abuse is to go no contact in short cut ties and I believed in Islam that’s not what we’re taught. It’s really hard to contemplate these information from outside the teachings of our religion but Alhamdulillah this is a sigh of relief for me to hear from an Islamic perspective. More of these videos could do a massive great help in the Muslim Ummah bcus some of us are literally been tortured and slowly dying inside
Most Needed Content. I want to add. And I would like to clarify, here using words "I", "me" and "myself" does not indicate narcissism but how the words are used in the context. For e.g. 1. I accept that I did it and it was wrong. 2. I think you need to look at your thoughts. Here the two context and no. 1 Reflects introception and no. 2 reflects narcissism. Clearly when I statement is surrounded by more blaming it indicates narcissism.
Please pray for me and my husband. We’re going through this with his Narcissistic family and I’m Just so tried :( With their manipulation and Enabling the actual narcissist in the family. Please brothers and sisters when someone tell you “you have hurt me “ and they sent you you list of how you hurt them ,you don't get to decide that you didn't! May Allah deal with people who have no empathy or mercy towards one another! Yes pray all night and day BUT you have to be kind and understanding too , subhanallah people like are so Draining , May Allah Help everyone who’s going through some tough time dealing with these kind of people Ameen .
@@Catpurr-e4j I will make lots of dua for you . I know it not easy I pray Allah makes it easy for you, Allah sees everything. But please set boundaries. You can be kind person without letting people disrespect you ❤️ . Allah has allowed us to live honorably so if anyone is abusing you , you have the right to say enough is enough.
My sister is narcissistic. Currently living with me ( by pressure of family) after her husband divorced her because of her narcissism. She still says awfull thing about him. She thinks low of herself and targets people who she things are better or are a threat to the "image" she created of herself to others. Shes always the victim and soreads nasty rumours about me. Ive learned that her test is my test. How i respond and what i do really test my imaan. I want to go around and tell people shes sick and defend myself against the rumour she speads. But that wouldn't be right. I instead let people think what they hear and hope one day people see me as I am and that my sister finds inner peace.
Asalam ma laykum may allah bless and ease the sufferings of the ummah and may allah unite the ummah upon the quran and sunnah and may allah have mercy on all those that have passed away before us and may Allah have mercy on us when we pass away and may allah cure all those that have a sickness and a disability and may allah grant them a cure that leaves no aliment and may allah protect the muslims from hellfire and from the fitnah of dajjal and may allah grant those that don't have spouses a spouse and may allah answer all our prayers may allahs peace and blessings be upon the prophet muhammad ameen
Wow! Masha ALLAH! Alhamdu liLAH! Excellent reminder. Exactly what we all need to hear and remind ourselves every day! Alhamdu liLAH! Please people share this as much as possible and listen to it once in a while because this is partly the explanation of la ilah ila ALLAH. Alhamdu liLAH and djazaka ALLAH kheiran Dr. Omar 🤲🙂
I understand your message sheikh but a clinical narcissist would never recognize themselves as such. That's what makes them a narcissist. They are not capable of true self-reflection as you are saying. You also can't tell a narcissist that they are one, hoping that they will say "ah you are right, I am a narcissist and I need to change". You can try but it will never go well. If a person does recognize themselves as having bad qualities then they were not a narcissist to begin with. But your message about self-reflection and general "bad qualities" still stands.
Allah will make a way for you! You will heal and be so happy like no pain has ever touched you In Shaa Allah. Right now in this moment it is very hard but every day you will get stronger. You are loved and seen sis♥️♥️♥️💕🫶🏽
May Allah Swt Guide Us And Protect Us All Ameen Ya Rabb. Especially Ourselves And We Should All Work on Ourselves Ameen Ya Rabb. Allah Swt Knows The Best And He Wills.❤
Such a beautiful and much needed khutbah. 💯🤲 May Allah make us all follow the teachings of humility and shukr how Allah has prescribed and make us stay away from the traits of firaun and qaroon. Ameen!
The worst & scariest type are the religious narcissist they pray 5 times a day, they fast & even do Hajj but it's all for show & to get praise from people but inside their heart is rotten, they lie & have no morals & a bad character. I know someone in my extended family who prays, fasts & has done Hajj yet when he is not on the prayer mat he swears, lies & gets angry very easily & even treats his own mother badly & shouts at her. Yet he still gets praise from people that fall for the act or fall for the outward appearance of things.
Thank you for making this video on narcissism . I wish more and more scholars would shine the light on these narcissistic people , because muslims enable narcissists in the light of islam
the ultimate existence as the slave of Allah 1. Allah created me therefore my value is only to the extent he sees me 2. my possessions are a blessings only as much as i used it in ways that are pleasing to Him 3. i am only a steward of what Allah commissioned me be Allah centred not self-centred
My father is the kind of person who only gives credit to Allah whenever something good happens in his life and doesn't credit himself not even one bit but he is a very toxic man when it comes to his wife and very insecure man when it comes to his daughter......he only expects my mother to obey him at all times and doesn't respect her emotions, her, her opinions and doesn't let her decide anything especially when it comes to his (my father's) family.......my mother's in laws abused her so much throughout her marriage with my father and my father always told her to do sabr and never held accountable his family or even confrontation.....a few years ago things got so bad we almost cut ties with my paternal family.... those months were the peaceful time of my mother's life but then after one year they decided to reconcile and without even hesitation or considering my mother's feelings he said to my mother and i quote, "I order you to go and reconcile with my family" and that's how my mother had to do it, she didn't have a choice and is on anti depressants for 8 years now Now i will tell you the impacts it had on me, i was 19 at that time, unmarried, still am, i have started to grow this hatred for Muslim men because on the name of religion they abuse their authority and never consider their partner's feelings and just Force their decisions on them and just live their life just like that i am 22 currently and constantly living with the fear of marriage and am scared to get committed and let my guard down in front of a man and the expectations and peer pressure that comes with being a wife is consuming me at once just because of that one sentence after the fact that he doesn't respect my mother's family at all whereas he expects my mother to respect his family and do everything to Make his family happy i remember my father once cussed at my late maternal grandmother and still remember the way my mother cried in Front of me at how her husband didn't even forgive her late mother..... someone tell me is it considered narcissism?
Great topic but psychologically speaking, unfortunately narcissists cannot find fault in themselves or diagnose themselves it's always someone else who notices it, it's embedded into the nature that they cannot see faults within themselves and it's created because of their treatment by the primary caregivers as a child and by 16 the narcissist is created even if their traits start to show closer to adulthood and can never be cured unfortunately
Some do become self aware, in particular covert narcissists. Some of these then isolate themselves, which is the best thing they can do for everyone since they cannot be fixed
@@armaanbelim3188 not exactly. SOME covert narcissists may isolate themselves from others thereby reducing their toxic effects on others. But they will always remain narcissists, incapable of having a normal personality or life, no matter how hard they try to appear normal. I should say, a true covert narcissistic personality disorder person is a rare specimen
Looking forward to listen to our teacher Ustad Omar and hear what he has to say about this issue. These negative traits, sicknesses are complex issues. Sometimes you see X at work complaining about Y not realizing that Y also has problems probably more than X
Thank you for addressing developing bad traits I’m always paranoid I will be influenced by my surroundings but there are few resources to look to for help!
3:27 that’s because narcissists abhor the feeling of guilt and self criticism. It’s a well documented and researched personality disorder. There’s much less likelihood of a narcissist to admit their narcissism.
Mash'Allah perfect khutbah, what you've said Dr. Sulaiman is very true, we should ask ourselves, are we one of them ? We have to find if we really have those traits in ourselves before blaming people, this is very critical and dangerous.
I’ve been married to a narcissist for 22 years we have 9 children together and I had 2 children when we got married from a previous marriage I feel stuck and don’t know what to do my older children literally sometimes wish he would just die and sadly it feels like that’s the only way I will ever be free
These are the presentations where I wish there was a way to Like it thousand times :) JazakAllahu khairan Katheerah Dear Dr. Shaikh Omar Sulaiman and all working for the common good for deen 💖
I like the approach. Instead of identifying others as narcisssists look into yourself whether you have the traits. of course its easier to ooint your finger on others.
I just think arrogance and narcissism is not the same thing. Narcissism just seems a lot more complex than arrogance - it’s a whole personality disorder maybe as a result of abuse or trauma. Self reflection itself I don’t think would be enough, a lot of supportive work and therapy would be needed to help them but the problem is narcissists lack insight into their condition. So perhaps self reflection is the stepping stone to recovery.
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu May all of us find taqwa, Iman and goodness. Mental health, and acknowledging mental disorders is essential in the Ummah. I as a child never sought counselling, therapy out of cultural judgement or being considered weak, different. Astagfirallah.
My husband and I are currently dealing with his brother and his narcissistic wife, which made him into a narcissist because now they are both the same and they are always looking to start a problem with us and only us. It’s sad because he was a good guy. Now we just want to stay away from both of them but we can’t because of my husband’s parents. I used to pray for my brother in law, but now I want nothing but justice from both of their evil games.
The reason why we don't hear someone says they're a narcissist is because they don't see themselves in the wrong, they don't have a tiny sense of understand that they're the problem even if you pointed it at them directly They don't make mistakes.. They don't need improvement.. They are perfect. اللهم اخرجني من هذه القرية الظالم أهلها
Can we just take a moment to acknowledge the sign language lady🙌🏻🥳 well done…. So much emotions behind her expressions.
Allahuma baarik
If you are victim of a narcissist you are already a kind compassionate introspective good person as the narcissist recognised these qualities in you and preyed on them hence making you the victim. Only narcissistic abuse survivors know this. Narcissistic people rarely change their ways it's better for you to run!! Any abuse victims readimg this please realise you are a good decent person who deserves a spouse who values, loves, cherishes you and overlooks your flaws and focuses on your positive attributes and you naturally do the same. Trust in Allah and you WILL find peace Insha'Allah
Thank you I really needed to hear this ❤❤
Jazak Allah khair.
Sometimes you find out too late in life. By then most of your life has past.
How do you reconcile with the loneliness of future
Ameen❤ jazakAllah for your reminder.
SubhanAllah @@anonnns its like i reading my mind in this comment.
Ameen
But i let him go in this world..
i was married to a narcissist, manipulator and abuser ... face and character change behind close door...
I’m not Muslim but I listen to every single one of his talks. I have gained so much. Thank you for sharing this.
You are at the right place and god willling you will find the truth as long as we are not blind in our hearts.
Ma Shaa Allah May Allah guide you!
May Allah guide your heart to His Religion!
Search for real peace before end of your time. You can see very closely
May God bless you Ameen 💝
The problem is that a real narcissist WILL make you think it's your own fault. May allah protect us from the evil of ourselves and the evil of others.
Amin.
Ameen
Aamiin Yaa Rabb
yes, its so toxic and hard when its family
Ameen
I am married to a covert narcissist for 42yrs. They get worse as they age...please run..😢
No way
where to go😢
42 years is a lifetime, Allahu Akbar! May Allah swt ease your pain and grant you hasanat for your patience, ameen🤲🏼🌹
Narcissists are very sick people...they can't see their own sickness. MashaAllah loved this Alhamdulilah wa shukriLilah that Allah saved me from a toxic relationship with a narcissist that seems a long time ago now.
So bad character, I experienced it with my ex, I start having doubt of my personality and self, I was looking like I was wrong in doing every single thing in my life...but AlhamduLillah I read Quran everyday, make duaa, never stopped my worshipping, Allah swt pulled me from that relationship, it was very short time but it seemed like forever, then after I felt so down, it took me so many months to heal from the trauma....anyone living with narssistic there is no way to survive normal except by the mercy of Allah swt.
I completely understand you, Allah helped me escape too, I thought my life was over and I was losing my mind and I am trying to heal from 20+yrs. You are very lucky because most of us victims waisted years without any clue what we were dealing with and was hoping for the narcissist to change
Allah SWT took me out after 2 yrs of being married to a Narcissist Husband (and into a Narcissistic family aswell). Allah deliberately didn't get me pregnant with him although it was highly possible. Alhumdulilah. All that I am today is because of Allah. I am nothing without Him. He is my Waliyy; Protective friend, and Al Wadud; the Most Loving ❤ and yes I did want my Husband to change, I gave him so many chances, I tried to direct him to the right and tell him about this disorder. But he threw away all of those chances. Very sad... May Allah SWT guide him to the right path, Ameen.
Alhamdulillah 🤲🏼
Jazakallahu kheiran for the lecture.
It is extremely hard to understand what a narcissistic partner does to his/her spouse if you did not go through it yourself.
I was in such a bad relationship. After 3,5 years in, I felt more more sick. I had to learn more and more about this traits. So, my ex fulfilled every trait.
Nobody will believe you BECAUSE this person is so nice, loving and charming to everyone except for you at home.
omg yes! this!!!!
Can’t agree more.
Only recently did I realize why I never felt the love back. Why it always felt like I was in a one-sided relationship. Why I had only responsibilities but no rights. Why I was always wrong and never right. Why I was always dumb and never worthy of making an intelligent decision. I let it all slide, because I was madly in love. I took all those accusations in jest.
After 18 years of marriage and 3 kids, only recently did I find out about narcissistic personality disorder.
Ya Allah!
@@justicebringspeace this is exact story I have brother. I just let it slide and created a bad habit in her. It’s after 18 years and 3 kids I said enough is enough. Even during process of separation she wanted to come back without accepting anything and defending lies as usual
😢😢😢
@Mohammed Siraj
Your partner doesn't realise how blessed and lucky she was to have your unconditional love for her despite everything. As quaint as it sounds, all good things comes to an end when one is ungrateful and self entitled. Narcissism is very common amongst females for some reason, or maybe because they are not truly on the path of deen. They are selfish and self absorbed. Had one been on the path of deen you would possess compassion, empathy, love, mercy and understanding. Instead of being selfish and counting all that you can get for yourself and how you must win at all costs. Always. At the end, we can walk away to preserve our mental and physical well-being and ask Allah to grant these heart-diseased people hidayah.
First imaam that has delivered a speech and awareness of Narcissism.
Experts in psychology say that Narcissistic personality disorder is not curable but people can adjust their behaviour if involved in a relationship, friendship or business.
Some narcissists are unaware of their condition and reject anything wrong with them whilst the aware ones know they have these traits but cannot but help themselves being like this.
After studying over a period of time about this disorder, I know can recognise any traits that are within me as well as identify those with it.
They most effective way to deal with Narcs is to abandon them but after trying to help them.
They have very little emphathy and treat people like appliances. They get you to attach yourself emotionally with them but they have no genuine feelings for you.
Avoid them
Narcissism is the opposite character a true believer. Yes ...solution is only with Allah and Islam. No 2 ways about it. Read about true believer must have qualities then 1 will know the essence of good akhlaq. Prophet Muhammad SAW was sent to the world to perfect our akhlaq.
The more we do dakwa of Allah the more Allah will correct our internal faults (by self reflection or self realisation). Wallahu alam.
You are so right! You wonder if they even have a conscience.
Google Aafiya Healing he talked about narcissim 3 years ago.
I‘m a „survivor“ after a mother and husband .They have destroyed me sooo much.I am still in my healing prosess.
Whatever Allah swt wanted for me,I accept it as a test.It‘s very hard to believe what happens to me and my children.
May Allah swt forgive them.🤲🏼
@@samye1385
Only Empaths can get hurt like yourself.
May Allah SWT grant you shifa.
Ameen yaa rabbal aalameen
@@samye1385 I’m in a similar situation with regards to my husband, Subhan’Allah.
Married for 22 years, but only recently felt the extremity of his traits. My children have lost someone who never really existed and his Narcissistic rage became just evil. May Allah help us and our children...Ameen. This test has overwhelmed me, it’s all I can think about, especially as he left us 6 months ago due to a situation that I was trying to tell him was wrong and damaging me psychologically.
We are stuck in limbo with fictional characters who pretended to love us, the injustice is devastating.
I am shocked that there is a video on Narcissism in the Islamic perspective. Narcissists are extremely detrimental to mental health. The trauma bond is one of the worst things one can experience (imagine knowing 100% that the person is evil but completely unable to leave them) and these things need to be talked more so people can gain the strength to recognize, get out of relationships and protect themselves from getting involved with another one in the future.
@EnchantedbyNunu that trauma bond is so strong, so powerful, that you are willing to take all the abuse in the world just so you don't feel those awful withdrawal symptoms of leaving the narcissist. It is truly agonizing. I pray to Allah to help those who are going through it because it could possibly be one of the toughest things to experience in this life.
Subhan’Allah!!
I’ve just come out of a long marriage with a person who has these traits, it almost caused an emotional breakdown.
I’ve watched so many videos, but Alhamdulillah for this one, I really wanted an Islamic perspective.
They make you feel crazy and the lack of love for their spouse and children is devastating...Subhan’Allah.
I can’t seem to find anyone to help me with my situation because most don’t understand or recognise this personality disorder.
More should be created to help the Ummah with this disease as it’s literally destroying hearts, minds and families.
Imagine how it could be if the narcissist is your own mother..
@@msbb007 I can't even imagine. May Allah help you and turn all of your pain into rewards. Ameen.
@Yabbe u Brother, I believe you. This is EXACTLY the type of things they would do. No empathy what so ever. Then they treat you worse and worse everytime because they think you won't leave. They are right though, it feels impossible to leave. Once you leave another bigger challenge happens, you can't stop thinking about them for only God knows how long. I wouldn't wish this on anyone.
The most I'm afraid of in this entire world is my own heart, how it could flip without me catching it.
Ya muqallibal quloob thabbit qalbi ala dheenik
-Oh turner of hearts, keep my heart firm on the deen.
Ameen
And the strange thing is, when you have a narcissist in your life, deep down in your soul you feel so utterly bad for them. You wish they could be healthy. You still want good for them as a human being. It’s so exhausting honestly💔
Absolutely true. They destroy us and we care for them with each broken piece
Agree
I really enjoyed this lecture, but I think the first few minutes should come with a warning that of you’re a survivor of abuse they aren’t meant for you. I have a few people I don’t feel comfortable sending this too, since they are suffering from PTSD from abusive relationships. Their partners would call them a narcissist and they believed it. I’m afraid them seeing imam Omar say we need to look at ourselves would be harmful for such people. InshaAllah the rest of the khutbah was beautiful
That makes sense. I saw a bunch of comments here talking about others being narcissistic but the entire khutbah is about reflecting on ourselves. But thinking of those comments through the lense of what you said is also true, if someone is in an abusive relationship then this could be very confusing. May Allah help us all and guide us to His light.
I agree.
I understand, I felt my eyes tearing up . But this Khutbah is meant for self reflection. It makes one praise Allah and be thankful for HIs mercy that HE allowed you to come to this knowledge , and is wanting you to self reflect so that your heart doesn’t become hard whilst living with an abuser.
Once you acknowledge that your spouse is potential narcissist and accept him/herself as a trial by Allah and then ask for help from Allah with Salah and sabr ..Allah makes that trial easier for u and it's also possible that ALLAH make it even beneficial for your worldly life and the hereafter.
Please, NEVER accept to use yourself as a target practice for these sick people, EVER! They are darkness through and through and the longer you stay with or around them, the longer you devalue yourself. RUN!
Great explanation Sheikh
I think this is why Islam is spreading so fast in the West that even European institutions say Europe will be Muslim in 50 years
Islam teaches morals, solves depression, anxiety, personality disorders such as narcissism and psychopathy. It brings peace, that’s why it’s touching the hearts of so many every day and that’s why it’s the dominant way of life in the world.
So refreshing to finally see an imam address a real issue which is prevalent amongst the Muslim community. You have to be in the situation to understand how deep rooted and messed up it actually is with the trauma bond and gaslighting. SubhanAllaah, to think it is the characteristics of iblees and firaaun, now can you imagine what it’s like living with a modern day tyrant, it’s being alive but emotionally dead. May Allah help all of us who are married or living with a narcissist and grant us patience, one thing that always gets me through is knowing my lord will not burden me with more than I can handle, and verily with hardship comes ease. Sometimes your ease isn’t in the dunya, so we hold on to our deen, when we walk through the gates of jannah we will be free of those people inshallah, enjoying the view beneath the garden which rivers flow. Ameen. Stay strong x
MashaAllah. Sister... I have become so... rude stubborn. After foing through his abuse... please make dua for me... to become a person who lives only for allah
Ameen❤❤❤ needed to read this.
I love that there’s an Islamic perspective on narcissism.
The translator lady is amazing great work ✨🥀
'I don't own anything, not even myself' 🙏
💖we belong to Allah before we belong to ourselves or to anyone else 💖
A lot of single men and women nowadays will say, “I” can’t settle for this or that person because, “I” bring so much to the table.” We should remember that all of our blessings are from Allah(swt).
Beautiful khutbah as usual. May Allah reward the imam.
I completely agree with Mr Omar Suleiman to a certain extent but what we need to differentiate is narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. We all, as Muslims, have to do an introspection work in ourselves and indeed identify whether we have narcissistic traits and how to deal with them, and I think it's completely reachable to people who are narcissists. However, for people who have a narcissistic personality disorder it's a complete different matter as one of the biggest traits they have is that their pathology prevents them from questioning themselves. They have this inability and they're not entitled and everything that happens to them is because someone led them to do such thing or react that way or even think that way. There isn't a problem with them and so they think the others are the problem. They even tend to twist the reality to the extent where the victim of narcissistic abuse thinks they are the narcissist. May Allah grant us knowledge and open our eyes to our drawbacks so we can become better human beings. Ameen.
Omg
This is what exactly im going through... living like ending myself everyday...you just spoke what I have been through... please pray for me..
Distract your mind away from them. Think about the mercy of Allah@@aqsaakhter4734
Psychology has made great advancements and we need to link these with the Quran, like you’re doing in this lecture.
I think what you're trying to say is we need to link Quran with psychology not the other way around because the Quran and Hadeeth has lots of psychology, it is us who need to understand the real meaning behind these words. It is there, we are just too "lazy" to read what was written hundreds years ago instead we just look at the modern days
@@larae7922 I just said ‘link’, I didn’t say a hierarchy of truths.
@@RIMJANESSOHMALOOG Oh okay my bad, i'm sorry
@larae792t jazakallah khairan ,
You reminded me that
You can find it in arabic ib UA-cam
Living with a narcissist is beyond explanation to top it all co-parenting with narcissist is literally living hell every day. But hikkmallah, we know less, Allah plans. Trust Allah 🤲
I have narcissistic people on my ex husband side it’s really scary they don’t fear Allah I also remind myself not to have those traits I pray we all become better each day I pray for all narcissists to come back to Allah
OMG! Thank you for finally finding out about Narcissism. I put up with it for many many years and nobody knew about it now ppl can Google it and there are psychologists talking about it now Al Hamdullah Alhamdulilah
Jazakallah for this. The world needs to become aware of this. I was a victim of a covert narcs abuse family society nobody knew or understood why i divorced him. My Allah knows so thats enough for me Alhamdulilllah 🤲
That would be because the person with NPD doesn't believe they have an issue, they believe their partner is the issue. They can own up(admit) to mistakes, but blame you. They never accept accountability which is to acknowledge your feelings because of their actions, which is where the deflecting and blame shifting comes in. They can even repackage things from blaming you to blaming you and them. They will never truly be vulnerable, because they want to avoid guilt and shame.
Well said, you have to live with one to believe the damages these devils in human bodies can do.
Reflect yourself in
1. If you are using the word I. Too often.
2. If you are thinking that you are better than anyone else.
3. If you are proud of wolrdy possessions you have. Eg money, power, knowledge etc.
Assalamualaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu! Can't thank you enough for talking about this topic- as a mental health professional, I can't stress how many people suffer due to Narcissistic family members. May Allah guide us to become introspective and aware of others. Aameen!
Ameen
For 28 years I have been suffering emotionally. mentally even physically due to very very high trait of my better half's narcissistic borderline disorder along with borderline disorder issues . I don't know how I m still holding on to this marriage for so long but this sort situation can destroy any one lives if he or she doesn't move on with out looking back .
Even a shrink told me that I need treatment because a normal human being cannot sustain a relationship which is so toxic for so long and its all due to my very low self esteem.
So I know for sure how painful to live with one who has such spiritual disease.
@@SKM-xo4kl May Allah make it easy for you, Ameen.
As a mental health professional though, do you not think there's an over-estimation as to how many people are actually dealing with narcissists though? Only about 10% of men are narcissists and even less are women, yet it seems everyone in the comments and on Twitter has been in a relationship with one.
Most people in the world are selfish. Confusing self-centeredness with narcissism is very common, please don't make this mistake as a mental health professional.
@@helsharidy123 Are you quoting a research paper when you say 10% of the men are narcissistic? To the contrary, my understanding comes from 9 years of experience in this field with clients and colleagues who give me alarming numbers of people who come from families with a narcissistic parent. Self-centredness is the beginning of narcissism and it doesn't take long to get there when people are misguided. In fact, the thing looked down upon by Allah is Hasad (envy) and Iblis was the biggest example of a narcissist. If that was enough for Allah to banish him, then the debate of narcissism or self centredness doesn't hold good. I see this as one of the signs of Qiyamah where people don't care about their kin and cheat them. Hope this clears the air.
The most disturbing part for me is that even someone who is praying and reciting Quran can be like this. The one that’s in my life made me feel that I was always inferior when it came to Islam, and I believed he was very humble and just. Over two decades later, I’m still trying to understand how he can act the way he does and still not understand that his character is quite ugly, especially as he has no love for our children and myself.
Unfortunately I enabled his behaviour, I just thought it was his difficult childhood and that he needed to be looked after. Little did I know that he would so easily discard me for shiny new/old supply.
Subhan’Allah 😔🤍
Sending duaas for you sister. May Allah heal you and comfort you.
Two sides to every story. I will prefer sisters/brothers to not broadcast their family issues to the public. Not worthed.
Jazak’Allah khair KA, Insha’Allah Allah will make a way out.
A Farouk, unless you have been a subject to this evil, you will never understand how damaging this is to a person’s mind and heart.
I will post what I wish, especially if it can raise awareness and especially as there is NO ONE from my community that understands this, even in the mosques.
Narcissists cause spiritual and emotional abuse on many levels, it’s wrong and it is evil, I will not be silenced, victims will NOT be silenced.
May Allah protect us from this evil...Ameen
@@afarouk3712 smh
(I, me, my 🚫) appreciate the push back. May Allah show us our errors and allow us to correct it and make us not among the tyrants.
JazakAllah khairun dear Imam Omar Suleman. I wish these types of topics were discussed in the Jummah khutba in Pakistan as well. Deep insight into character building and psychology of a momin and others is discussed very rarely.
I wish our Pakistani imam were educated to workup soul nurturing. The narcs have good names for their evil reasons.
This topic of "Narcissism" is a very taboo topic. No one understand this disorder until someone experience it.
Thanks to Sheikh who is opening this topic in the public. I've been searching this on the internet but I've never watched any ulamas or islamic motivators, Daaehs who acknowledges this type of disorder. It's either you have to be full of Sabar/patient or you have to disobey Allah. Yes indeed, dealing with someone with this type kf personality disorder is a test but I think with a support system approach, at least we can prevent ourselves or others to become like one. So still, we have to bring this topic to the the public. To raise awareness especially for every household cause most of the main causes and roots of this type of personality disorder mostly starts from the family upbringing.
My mother and husband both are narcissists. I’m sick and tired of both of them. I’ve been seeing my mother always accusing and belittling my father. My husband does the same with me. I tried many times to make these people understand, but I failed.
Don’t try. You won’t win. I advise you to meditate. Be emotionally self-sufficient
It a loss cause,no matter your efforts it will just get worse when years go by
Do not tell them your secret
Sleep onother room
Prepare your financial independence
Make istiqfaar and suratu baqara and salalahu alayhi wasalam
Make self love,self care,self steam,self acceptance,self defense,self confidence ,etc
Your peace is number one in your life
Dont urgue with them when they start manipulating move that place
I love how he points out that we need to start analysing ourselves first. Onmy then can you have empathy, even for a nacissist. We all have some narcissm in us. May Allah swt guide us in improving ourselves.
I have a narcissist mom and physicallly, mentally emotionally i am broke. but at the same time i cant leave her because i am the only daughter and there is such as unwritten rule where the daughter must care and live with their parents to take care of them... and i feel like i live in prison fir the rest of life,,, the only thing i can do is wake up at the night and pray to Allah hope before i die i can experience what is free life..... imagine living for 29 years and dont know the street near my house cause i always have to stay at home and do the chores and another task that my mom told me to do,, meanwhile i just can see my brothers go outside and do what they want to do.... i often hide in the backyard and cry for my self,,, i dont know what is beauty life,,,...
Hope u have been able to leave them. Hope u survived the abuse.
This is the first time i ever heard that some islamic scholar talked about narcissism.
Me too I was very pleased though, this should be a global issue to be discussed,I bet a lot of people are under this excruciating situation and aren't even aware what they dealing with
He’s backkkk!! 🥹♥️ Alhumdulillah
great lecture, think i`m more fascinated by the lady doing the sign language ! I could see her gestures describing narcissism bought a smile to my face
Subhanallah..😭 Jazakalllah Khayr ya Sheikh. Your words hit me deep down 😭😭😭 May Allah protect my heart n all of our hearts from arrogance n pride 😭آمين 🤲🏽🧎🏽♀️
MASHALLAH!! This is a very beautiful video, by the way, i’m a Muslim from Italy who just found your channel searching “what Allah thinks of narcissists”(due to a personal experience with a narcissist) and the message you shared made me subscribe instantly!!
Yes SubhanAllah! It's the new word for arrogance! And passed around in the medical world as if it's a part of " mental illness"! Jazakallahu Khayr
your works are fruitful, welcoming and helpful May Allah Azzwajal reward you immensely
الحمدلله I am nothing I am no one except Allah The One 👆🏽 Only
Narcissists don’t self reflect; the personality disorder means that they are right and everyone else is wrong.
If you reflect and wish to better yourself, you may have narcissistic traits that you can heal and override but a narc will never heal because they don’t believe there’s anything wrong with them.
And Allah knows best
They only see the problem in others, not themselves. It's hard to deal with people like this.
💯
Salaam dearest brother Suleiman!
Your lecture is a reminder for all of us not to fall into this trait. This is so bad. Many of us are too proud of our own race, background, achievements and positions. Narcissist loves to gaslight someone too.
My husband is also a Narcisst after a 8 years of relationship and 4 doughters i just give up because i feel physically and mentally all the time so sick and tired and all i can remember in this 8 years i laugh with him only a few times and the rest of 8 years i cried every next day but nothing changed... Now i have to leave but it hurt
You should ask Allah swt to soften his heart, If Allah swt can turn the darkness of the night into daylight He can also change any situation, May Allah swt make it easy for you Ameen
Great!! You did get away from a monster in human form, girl! It's a big deal getting away from such vampires..you took a big step, Now breath freely, in sha Allah you will find your way easier from now.
God bless and protect you and give you abundance to move forward aameen
Narcism is present in 80% of people, especially men. You run away from one you will catch four others. Work on yourself first, for the sake of your girls and have faith in Allah that your husband will change at least to the point where he is liveable.
May Allah grant u strength to deal with this test and may Allah make it easy for you Aameen 🙏
If you live with a nacissist only then will you truly understand.
Iv lived with a man who only sees himself. Thinks he is perfect. Points flaws at me.
Everything is about him and he constantly degrades me belittles me.
This is happening to me now 😥
Same here
even your eating habits will be discouraged ...
Even I am going through this for 16 years. Its a bitter marriage . I've got 4 kids.
I get you pain , however the message has summarized my long term research on narcissism. My Dad is a super narcissist. I wanted to be opposite to him but info. I got revealed that I may end up or a narcissist.
The imam's message has acted as a self healing procedure.
May Allah swt bless you Shaykh for such an important topic. None of us are immune to this. May Allah swt make us Allah centred and not self centred as the Shaykh said.
I think my father is a narcissist he was never a real father that cares about his children and wife emotions. All he does is work for us (and he keep bringing that up to as as if he is doing us a favor) and enter the home angry at us and always serious, we all grow up away from him unlike my mom who is like our friend, we never had a open conversation with him and laughs with him like normal children do with their parent and when we do something wrong he will always blame my mom and shout at her and sometimes even break things in the house. We all grow up without a real father. Anyways now non of us can talk and spend time with him because for us he is a complete stranger (even though we lived with him in the same house). Now he is blaming us why we don't talk to him and laugh with him like other children do.
Well said. A lot of Muslims including me nowadays have this inflated sense of self - thinking we are humble and we are loud and arrogant and judgemental and actually hurting people
The very reason why there was no one coming to the Sheikh suspecting themselves a narcissist, is because simply the definition of a narcissist is somebody who is self-centered, and doesn't see themselves having an issue 😅.
Most probably people who came for help were the victims of narcissistic partners or family. Narcissists usually wouldn't seek a spiritual solutions to their life's problems.
yeah for real , they always think they’re above it lol. ppl can be narcissistic without being narcissists. but as sheikh said, may we remove those traits and work on ourselves and not let the narcs have any mental hold over us ameen
Exactly. My ex once said to me that he can't place his trust in Allah because Allah is too slow and he (narc) has a better way to steer his life!!!
How can someone like this own up to having such massive spiritual disease?
The worst part is that he's so adept at morphing from a grandiose narc to a covert narc, overt narc, basically, he rapidly reads a room and wears the appropriate mask for the occasion!
This has been the lecture and the cornerstone of tazkia nafs. So much needed! Living with narcs now I feel it is contagious too. A hadith about those who finds others doing evil 'doesn't dies until he develop same evil habit. Its Science proven
I was astounded when I found this video 😢😭🥳🥳🥳🥳
Oh my ALLAH it’s such a relief… I come on to UA-cam everyday to binge watch on narcissism and I felt guilty that the most I must insightful information I’m getting on here are mostly from non Muslims and to know that the most effective way to be free from this abuse is to go no contact in short cut ties and I believed in Islam that’s not what we’re taught. It’s really hard to contemplate these information from outside the teachings of our religion but Alhamdulillah this is a sigh of relief for me to hear from an Islamic perspective.
More of these videos could do a massive great help in the Muslim Ummah bcus some of us are literally been tortured and slowly dying inside
Indeed very true, dying slowly and no support whatsoever
Most Needed Content.
I want to add. And I would like to clarify, here using words "I", "me" and "myself" does not indicate narcissism but how the words are used in the context.
For e.g.
1. I accept that I did it and it was wrong.
2. I think you need to look at your thoughts.
Here the two context and no. 1 Reflects introception and no. 2 reflects narcissism. Clearly when I statement is surrounded by more blaming it indicates narcissism.
Please pray for me and my husband. We’re going through this with his Narcissistic family and I’m
Just so tried :( With their manipulation and Enabling the actual narcissist in the family. Please brothers and sisters when someone tell you “you have hurt me “ and they sent you you list of how you hurt them ,you don't get to decide that you didn't! May Allah deal with people who have no empathy or mercy towards one another! Yes pray all night and day BUT you have to be kind and understanding too , subhanallah people like are so Draining , May Allah Help everyone who’s going through some tough time dealing with these kind of people Ameen .
Amine
12 years now....I am suffering..😢
@@Catpurr-e4j I will make lots of dua for you . I know it not easy I pray Allah makes it easy for you, Allah sees everything. But please set boundaries. You can be kind person without letting people disrespect you ❤️ . Allah has allowed us to live honorably so if anyone is abusing you , you have the right to say enough is enough.
@@kaiteross6596 its hard to live with a unpredictable mentally abusive narcissistic Husband....its unbearable
My sister is narcissistic. Currently living with me ( by pressure of family) after her husband divorced her because of her narcissism. She still says awfull thing about him.
She thinks low of herself and targets people who she things are better or are a threat to the "image" she created of herself to others. Shes always the victim and soreads nasty rumours about me. Ive learned that her test is my test. How i respond and what i do really test my imaan. I want to go around and tell people shes sick and defend myself against the rumour she speads. But that wouldn't be right. I instead let people think what they hear and hope one day people see me as I am and that my sister finds inner peace.
Asalam ma laykum may allah bless and ease the sufferings of the ummah and may allah unite the ummah upon the quran and sunnah and may allah have mercy on all those that have passed away before us and may Allah have mercy on us when we pass away and may allah cure all those that have a sickness and a disability and may allah grant them a cure that leaves no aliment and may allah protect the muslims from hellfire and from the fitnah of dajjal and may allah grant those that don't have spouses a spouse and may allah answer all our prayers may allahs peace and blessings be upon the prophet muhammad ameen
May Allah protect u seikh ❤
Wow! Masha ALLAH! Alhamdu liLAH! Excellent reminder. Exactly what we all need to hear and remind ourselves every day! Alhamdu liLAH! Please people share this as much as possible and listen to it once in a while because this is partly the explanation of la ilah ila ALLAH. Alhamdu liLAH and djazaka ALLAH kheiran Dr. Omar 🤲🙂
I understand your message sheikh but a clinical narcissist would never recognize themselves as such. That's what makes them a narcissist. They are not capable of true self-reflection as you are saying. You also can't tell a narcissist that they are one, hoping that they will say "ah you are right, I am a narcissist and I need to change". You can try but it will never go well. If a person does recognize themselves as having bad qualities then they were not a narcissist to begin with. But your message about self-reflection and general "bad qualities" still stands.
I agree with you.
thank you.
I have been suffered for 5 years. 😞 Allah please heal me. I am struggling
Allah will make a way for you! You will heal and be so happy like no pain has ever touched you In Shaa Allah. Right now in this moment it is very hard but every day you will get stronger. You are loved and seen sis♥️♥️♥️💕🫶🏽
I ALWAYS ASK THESE THINGS OF MYSELF &examine myself on THESE ISSUES BSINCE A SMALL CHILD ,NONE IS GOOD BUT GOD he is ALL There is
May Allah Swt Guide Us And Protect Us All Ameen Ya Rabb. Especially Ourselves And We Should All Work on Ourselves Ameen Ya Rabb. Allah Swt Knows The Best And He Wills.❤
Such a beautiful and much needed khutbah. 💯🤲 May Allah make us all follow the teachings of humility and shukr how Allah has prescribed and make us stay away from the traits of firaun and qaroon. Ameen!
Alhamdulillah. A great reminder for my self. May Allah SWT forgive us all from these traits. Ameen
The worst & scariest type are the religious narcissist they pray 5 times a day, they fast & even do Hajj but it's all for show & to get praise from people but inside their heart is rotten, they lie & have no morals & a bad character.
I know someone in my extended family who prays, fasts & has done Hajj yet when he is not on the prayer mat he swears, lies & gets angry very easily & even treats his own mother badly & shouts at her. Yet he still gets praise from people that fall for the act or fall for the outward appearance of things.
I call it the wolf in a sheep cloth,or when in presence of strangers they act like lovely kitten but at home they are the wounded beast
The term for this is ‘Communal narcissists’ they are rampant in our conmunities
exactly... they act like angelic infront of others, but devil behind close door
Thank you for making this video on narcissism . I wish more and more scholars would shine the light on these narcissistic people , because muslims enable narcissists in the light of islam
the ultimate existence as the slave of Allah
1. Allah created me therefore my value is only to the extent he sees me
2. my possessions are a blessings only as much as i used it in ways that are pleasing to Him
3. i am only a steward of what Allah commissioned me
be Allah centred not self-centred
My father is the kind of person who only gives credit to Allah whenever something good happens in his life and doesn't credit himself not even one bit but he is a very toxic man when it comes to his wife and very insecure man when it comes to his daughter......he only expects my mother to obey him at all times and doesn't respect her emotions, her, her opinions and doesn't let her decide anything especially when it comes to his (my father's) family.......my mother's in laws abused her so much throughout her marriage with my father and my father always told her to do sabr and never held accountable his family or even confrontation.....a few years ago things got so bad we almost cut ties with my paternal family.... those months were the peaceful time of my mother's life but then after one year they decided to reconcile and without even hesitation or considering my mother's feelings he said to my mother and i quote, "I order you to go and reconcile with my family" and that's how my mother had to do it, she didn't have a choice and is on anti depressants for 8 years now
Now i will tell you the impacts it had on me, i was 19 at that time, unmarried, still am, i have started to grow this hatred for Muslim men because on the name of religion they abuse their authority and never consider their partner's feelings and just Force their decisions on them and just live their life just like that i am 22 currently and constantly living with the fear of marriage and am scared to get committed and let my guard down in front of a man and the expectations and peer pressure that comes with being a wife is consuming me at once just because of that one sentence after the fact that he doesn't respect my mother's family at all whereas he expects my mother to respect his family and do everything to Make his family happy i remember my father once cussed at my late maternal grandmother and still remember the way my mother cried in Front of me at how her husband didn't even forgive her late mother..... someone tell me is it considered narcissism?
Thank you for offering
Sign language
Great topic but psychologically speaking, unfortunately narcissists cannot find fault in themselves or diagnose themselves it's always someone else who notices it, it's embedded into the nature that they cannot see faults within themselves and it's created because of their treatment by the primary caregivers as a child and by 16 the narcissist is created even if their traits start to show closer to adulthood and can never be cured unfortunately
Some do become self aware, in particular covert narcissists. Some of these then isolate themselves, which is the best thing they can do for everyone since they cannot be fixed
@@LC-qi5ffso there's a hope for covert narcissism?
@@armaanbelim3188 not exactly. SOME covert narcissists may isolate themselves from others thereby reducing their toxic effects on others. But they will always remain narcissists, incapable of having a normal personality or life, no matter how hard they try to appear normal. I should say, a true covert narcissistic personality disorder person is a rare specimen
May Allah bless you for guiding us Dr Omar!
Looking forward to listen to our teacher Ustad Omar and hear what he has to say about this issue.
These negative traits, sicknesses are complex issues. Sometimes you see X at work complaining about Y not realizing that Y also has problems probably more than X
I’m a victim of a Muslim narcissist. I pray Allah rewards me with someone better than who He took away from me.
Ameen
Thank you for addressing developing bad traits
I’m always paranoid I will be influenced by my surroundings but there are few resources to look to for help!
3:27 that’s because narcissists abhor the feeling of guilt and self criticism. It’s a well documented and researched personality disorder. There’s much less likelihood of a narcissist to admit their narcissism.
We actually and truly are a nobody, nothing and our Raab takes ALL glory - Allahu Akbar
JAZAKALLAH KHAIR - BARAKALLAHU FEEK
Mash'Allah perfect khutbah, what you've said Dr. Sulaiman is very true, we should ask ourselves, are we one of them ? We have to find if we really have those traits in ourselves before blaming people, this is very critical and dangerous.
Thank you thank you thank you Dr. Suleiman thank you so much for this
Mashallah sheikh your Salams are much appreciated
BarakAllah 👌...
Jazakum Allahu Khairan for the beneficial khutbah.
Alhamdulillah 🤲.
Jazaka Allah khayr sheikh for talking about this topic:)
Pray for me please I want to get rid of backbiting the others. I'm struggling 😢😢😢🥺💔😫
Alhamdulillah i am out of the narcissistic relationship
I’ve been married to a narcissist for 22 years we have 9 children together and I had 2 children when we got married from a previous marriage I feel stuck and don’t know what to do my older children literally sometimes wish he would just die and sadly it feels like that’s the only way I will ever be free
Jazaq Allahkum Khairan Shaikh 💐💐💐💐💐
These are the presentations where I wish there was a way to Like it thousand times :)
JazakAllahu khairan Katheerah Dear Dr. Shaikh Omar Sulaiman and all working for the common good for deen 💖
JazakAllah khair for this lecture
I like the approach. Instead of identifying others as narcisssists look into yourself whether you have the traits. of course its easier to ooint your finger on others.
Blabla..
I just think arrogance and narcissism is not the same thing. Narcissism just seems a lot more complex than arrogance - it’s a whole personality disorder maybe as a result of abuse or trauma. Self reflection itself I don’t think would be enough, a lot of supportive work and therapy would be needed to help them but the problem is narcissists lack insight into their condition. So perhaps self reflection is the stepping stone to recovery.
It won't happen narcissists never ever admit any wrong doing,they think the other person is to blame for everything even for their own wrongdoing
@@samia6888 narcissist will never change even in their graveyard,they just keep being worse as years go by
You're right. Arrogance is one of the "ingredients" of narcissism, and not narcissism itself.
The ending is beautiful ❤️
Thank you for this thema dear Doctor
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu May all of us find taqwa, Iman and goodness. Mental health, and acknowledging mental disorders is essential in the Ummah. I as a child never sought counselling, therapy out of cultural judgement or being considered weak, different. Astagfirallah.
JazakAllah Khair this is a very good reminder
MashAllah
Allaah akbar allahuma sali wasalam al’laa muhammad salalaahu alaihi wasalam
You are amazing shaykh Masha Allah
Jazak Allah Khair
My husband and I are currently dealing with his brother and his narcissistic wife, which made him into a narcissist because now they are both the same and they are always looking to start a problem with us and only us. It’s sad because he was a good guy. Now we just want to stay away from both of them but we can’t because of my husband’s parents. I used to pray for my brother in law, but now I want nothing but justice from both of their evil games.
The reason why we don't hear someone says they're a narcissist is because they don't see themselves in the wrong, they don't have a tiny sense of understand that they're the problem even if you pointed it at them directly
They don't make mistakes.. They don't need improvement.. They are perfect.
اللهم اخرجني من هذه القرية الظالم أهلها
19:34 💯 ma sha Allah