Abusive parents and Islam- Mufti Menk
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- Опубліковано 25 лис 2024
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Mufti Menk tells us how Islam looks at abusive parents.
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Mufti Menk is an inspirational speaker and an established scholar in the Muslim umma. In this animated sketch motivational video, Mufti Menk talks about the Muslim society and how abuses are covered up using religious blackmail- be it by parents, spouses or others.
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I just cant believe that abusive patents should be unconditionally loved and obeyed. Some parents are so abusive and are terrible parents.
I agree sometimes that option is not possible or that type of advice can cause more harm than good too your mental health and yourself trust how you feel
That's why it's advised to get separated whenever you can
We need more talks on this topic. Its unfortunately so common. This needs to be addressed in more elaboration
Salam yes not fair for us kids.. Oppression from many sheikhs to not elaborate
I agree
I agree with you.everyone talks about how children should respect their parents but what about some abusive parents who are misusing their parental power to abuse their children in the worst possible ways?
Ofcourse!
Daughters r being treated badly in some families. Some do not know the value of daughtr
I'm part of that demographic 😑
just liek objects makes me boil with rage
🥺😔
To them daughters are nothing but a doormat, ragdoll, punching bag and free resource to enrich themselves.
Im one among them too.. May allah me sabr to handle it🤲
My mom literally calls me a "Kafir" (someone who is against Islam and the enemy of Islam ) for the most little mistakes I do
And she literally today said I'm a shame to the family
Sister unfortunately 😕 I know too well what you're going through. Hang on, make yourself the best version of you that only Allah would favor & see the change InShaAllah. Don't let anyone put cultural stop signs in your journey of self betterment, just politely bypass them & keep on track. I'll make dua for you @SparkleQueen567 you are an awesome person with so much light to shed on this dark world of ours 💜
Dear Sister, culture often comes in conflict with religion, and this is one of the unfortunate avenues where it happens. May Allah enable your mother to show you the love every mother has towards her child, Ameen.
she's not doing being a parent. she's not teaching you anything meanigful eiether. protect your growing impressionable mind and plan to leave that abuse .. there is
Same:/
im nabi family and this what I have abusive parents very rude to me and i cry everyday they say bad words about what is the punishment?
I found "have sabr" type advices from sheikh aasim when there is question regarding parental abuse. He literally said " what you can do. You can't do anything "
Assim al hakeem is horrible. Nobody should listen to, or take advice from him.
He is totally werid sheikh
💯💯💯 like toxic abusive aprents are 10 times worse than actual enemies
Parental abuse and neglect is a real thing, Islamic scholars should be addressing this face of them too. Thank you mufti for talking about it.
Then half of the population will claim to be abused when their mother tells them to do the dishes. "I am a man how dare she tells me to do that!"
Not all parents are parents.
I hope I will be good mother to my kids if I got married .
May Allah make it easy for you, Ameen.
I like that he addressed the suicidal feelings, the depth of how evil some parents are, and the religious blackmailing. He has a good heart to be able to hear people who are almost always shut down in this community.
"Heaven lies under your mother's feet" but if your mother is a toxic evil person, is does not. These type of parents literally try their best to lead you to hell if you listen to them or give them any more power over you.
We deserve justice from parents like that and it is arrogant of other Muslims to tell us we won't get it. Allah is the most just and that applies to parents too.
Ameen bro or sis ameen cool name btw
So true,
Imagine making dua to Allah for a different mother at 7 years old and then wondering why the dua was never answered😭😭
May Allah grant all the mothers of the world paradise!
@@islamanimated
Toxic, Narcissistic, Psychopathic, Sadistic Parents
Nothing but NOTHING can happen in the world without the express permission and knowledge of Allah SWT. JazakaAllah!
Allah SWT the All Knowing, All Merciful in his infinite wisdom gives psychopathic, sadistic, narcissistic parents little babies to abuse. He could make toxic people sterile but He decides against that so they can have a whale of a time psychologically destroying their babies. And the babies when they grow up MUST LOVINGLY look after their abusive parents. This is a must otherwise they'll be burned in Jehanna forever and ever and ever. In the Holy Books the victims are NOWHERE advised to even TRY to escape this toxic environment. In fact in the Holy Book there is NO mention at all of toxic parents at all just as there is none of rapists as if they don't even exist.
But what CAN the victims do ?
Simple. The victims have NO choice: they must Love and Worship Allah SWT with ALL their heart and thank Him daily for everything the parents did to them.
The Holy Quran 51:56 says clearly:
And I (Allah) created not the jinns and humans except they should worship Me (Alone).
This is the sole purpose of Human and Jinn existence. We were created to WORSHIP Allah SWT, not to be molly-coddled by narcissistic parents. Period.
If they're still angry the victims can channel this anger to do Jihad against the mushrikeen and kuffar, particularly those who've never done them any personal harm; go on a slaughtering binge, enslave their virgins and consequently enjoy infinite delights here and through eternity in Jannah. The women of course can't do this and will have to live with that.
And Allah knows best.
SubhanAllah and JazakaAllah
💜💜💜
@@islamanimated my dad is the one who deserves paradise not my mom
@@islamanimated Is this the best answer to plight?
May Allah SWT ease your affairs sis, Ameen, ya Rabb
abusive parents are beyond hope frankly - parents need to be held accountable in this live for driving their children insane with their hatred
Need more discussion on this subject.
My mother has physically abused me all my life and when I grew up, where she couldn't harm me physically, she took the mental route.
Then religious blackmail, and that garbage statement, "a mother can do whatever she wants, Jannah lies under her feet".
She has always been that toxic lady, ruined the whole family, never been a place of peace to my father neither her children. Used to hate her, but now I've become absolutely
numb in terms of any feelings towards her, she is 70+ but I don't even like to see her face neither her voice.
I've lost everything because of her, my self confidence to start and every other thing that balances a human being. Now, I can't even look at woman with
respect but disgust, no matter whom I meet if I find resemblance in any manner with my mother, I run.
Living a life alone is hard but I just can't trust anyone specifically woman.
This remind me of something.
And im a woman myself
Like saying to women they are the price make them turn into the most piece of shxt in relationships .
Same happened with us
you have the chance to take revenge lol. kill that demon, Iblis is already waiting for her.
You wrote my exact thoughts. 💯
My mother is very toxic person and toxic mother"she always talks and do bad ,when we request her to change her behavior she use Islamic pherases that I am your mother I have right to do anything bcz i am your mother and Allah give me this right:
@♡pillow♡ no they cannot
@Forlorn are you okay ?
So many people leave Islam because their abusive parents teach the wrong version to them. Thank you Mufti Menk, thank you for the bottom of my heart. You, and videos such as these are helping me stay towards Islam.
My mother has called me Kafira for forgetting to make dua after Salah
She also called me a Kafira when I prayed with my shoes on.
My sitting position in Salah was not like hers and she cussed me out
Because of small differences like these, the punishments are huge. Kafira often followed curses, and this happened in public. Sometimes I want to give up on the Salah altogether and I reduced praying around her but I have to remind myself that these thoughts/my mother's curses are just another test.
ALLAH is much kinder than my mother.
Thankyou, again. I can be a Muslim despite my mom calling me Kafira.
May Allah bring Hidaya to us and our close ones, Ameen!
My mother in fact shames me for being religious(talking about Allah, the prophet, doing tasbih etc…) and tells me that I need to be more fun like women my age, and that I need to wait till I get older to be religious. Which makes me sad because death has no age, and It’s not even guaranteed that I will be here tomorrow.
May Allah bring your mother back onto the right path, Ameen!
Same. I lost my iman due to my mother not being supportive of sunnah acts beyond her comprehension. I just want to be the best of Muslims in the eyes of Allah
And this is why some of us fail in our Iman because they use islam to beat us ,hurts us blame us, this hurts and I'm 39 and it still hurts until this very day... I'm struggling with my iman ,and I know Allah is everywhere...but I'm a struggling orphan Muslims smh..
You are in our prayers, May Allah grant us his mercy during this blessed month
@@islamanimated Shukran
Assalamualekum!
May Allah be with you! My hearts aches for all the Muslims out there who've left their faith just because of some people who keeps forcing them to go beyond their limit, It is so wrong, Allah loves us the most, he would never make us do something which is beyond our limit, I'm also a victim of parental abuse, I'm being abused since as long as I can remember, Whenever I use to talk back to my parents I would feel guilty, Every scholar I saw kept saying that I must have "sabar" and I must keep apologizing since when my parents is angry, allah is too, I would cry out so much thinking that Allah is angry with me but I never once felt his anger, It was like he was with me everytime, listening to me without pushing me like my parents and those scholars, I hope you can also find that how much allah loves and understands you more than anyone🌼
@@Hindustaniii82 I'm growing ....loving who I am ,excepting and learning to forgive and my name is that AbdulGhaffaar...my Allah forgive my wrong for I have done so much..
Wallah bro...
Thank you for covering this. So many nasty parents out there..too much emotional and physical abuse. Shameful and disgusting. Definitely needs to be reported..and so much emotional blackmailing go ING on..so many toxic mothers...such a shame. Allah guide these jaahils
my mother yells and abuses me when i never listen to her and get bad grades and it never stops it’s been like this for years.
May Allah give you an opportunity to be free from the abuse. Ameen
This Mufti is really going there! Shukran. I suffer this
As a child abuse victim myself, I am haunted by my parents' words saying I am insolent therefore is cursed and will go to hell. Even after I got married, my husband was abused as well and we had to cut off contact with them to save ourselves, though we never stop praying for them and do sadaqah/wakaf for them. And yet, I feel depressed (even diagnosed with PTSD) and always wonder if I am already destined to hell no matter what I do. All I want is for someone to tell me that I am forgiven, and that everything will be alright. But who can give that guarantee? Can anyone help explain this?
SubhanAllah, I normally don’t comment on UA-cam. But I just wanted to say I’m sorry for what you have been through, children are an Amaanah( a trust/responsibility) and parents will be asked by Allah for how they treated their children. Allah is not unjust. All will stand before him and have to answer to him. Never assume you are destined for Hell. Allah loves you and will forgive you,he bought you in to the world he will take care of you, he always has, he always will. I feel you I have been in a similar situation. But please don’t let anyone get to your head or heart. I know it’s easier said than done. Your relationship with Allah is the most pure and beautiful thing, don’t let anyone destroy that or get in the way. Allah is most forgiving most merciful, forgives all, sides with the oppressed, and loves you unconditionally, but don’t take my word for it. Take his swt.❤ I will continue to pray for you Inshaa’Allah
@@mina-ssi Thank you, sister, for the encouragement and advice. My mind must have been clouded by fear that I forgot how merciful Allah is, and He semt you to remind me that there is still hope or salvation for me. Thank you so much. May Allah bless you, grant you peaceful life and swift entrance to jannah. Ameen.
@@farhana1909 Ameen ya rabb! You too sister. Don't be hard on yourself, sometimes Allah allows us to experience the darkness temporarily so we can appreciate the light. I pray you and your family forever feel his love and mercy in thi life and the next🤲
Asslam alikum my beloved sister I know the feeling
You are describing my exact feelings
Even became victim of forced marriage, in name of obeying your parents at any cost, Allah will not forgive me if I hurt them by saying no, 😢😢😢in fact Molvi from nearby mosque came and pressurized for forced marriage, saying it's Allah's will to get you married with this man, so sacrifice yourself for your parents happiness you will be rewarded for this 😮😮
This is sad sister😔 are you still maried with that person and are you happy with him?
Oh ALLAH really 😢
This is not just the case of some rather the case of some people who were brave enough to talk about it
Dear Allah swt protect us from evil. InshAllah
My parents have been through abuse from their parents because it was normalised in Malaysia (and not just verbal abuse, also physical abuse and neglect from parents) and sadly they believe that it was all in the good name of Allah and a test of patience and they still believe that's the way to treat your child and that's how they even treat me.
It always makes me sad to know that they do not know that they are subvertedly committing more sins against their own children by hitting them, giving them anxiety and stress and making them feel invalid. Insha Allah I can be the one to just end this generational trauma and correct the mistakes of my parents to my own children.
Sorry to hear. I feel like I went through a lot and I tell myself I won't allow my children to ever feel or go through what I am feeling in shaa Allah.
Vids like this are why Mufti is one of the only people I take my Islamic knowledge from these days.
My mother took abuse from my father he used to beat her and it traumatised me … and I never liked my father became he also abused me and neglected me … but till today mother still takes his side and she stayed with him .. they also changed her and moulded her … my sister was also like my father I use to get bullied
Straight to the point and without playing any games with the truth. Well done.
I wish you could make this video in Urdu as the Desi community needs it
I look forward to someone taking the mantle on that InshaAllah!
my parents hurt me so much whenever i make mistakes. Today my mother called me "disgusting" and that she always will hate me no matter how much i fix myself. She took a long wodden stick and hit me several times on my leg, it really hurts its bruissed and red im limping and i cannot crouch properly. They only look for my intelligence they dont care if i dont want to do something or i want to do it. They have been abusing me ever since i was 9 i wanted to report them but if i do and they go to jail i wont have anywhere to live. I have my auntie but she is too old to take care of her self and i honeslty feel really dissapointing and disgusting for what i did to them.
May Allah bring her hidayah. Ameen!
Even verbal abuse is unbearable
Yet people will Quote the Quran to say don’t say uff
Is that what it really means
A father who abuses and spread lies and dirty lies about you
Favour one child who is not serving them or living with them and therefore never have an encounter with them so everything with them seems to be calm
But the child that serves him and look after him, he abuses and slaps that child and naturally that child will answer back defending himself or raise hand to defend himself
So such child is bad
Islamic scholars don’t know how bad parents can really be
Really bad
Poor children try their best
Allah Knows everybody’s situation
May Allah Forgive us all
Worst thing is to have abusive parents esp the ones who say the worst hurtful words and degrading statements
May Allah grant the young ones paradise through the trials they went through, Ameen.
My father is alcoholic,have relationship with some other women's
He is also used to beat my mother
For her dull/ black skin
He ones told me he is not afraid of any,he even don't belive in islam and allah too, he lives his Life as he wish
We don't what to do
I always used to pray to allah and cry to allah for his behaviour
may allah grant you happiness, ameen ya rab and give you the strength to face this difficult life, you deserve happiness jsut liek anyone else
Allah tests us all in varying levels.. The ones who are closer to him, he tests them more.. May he bring peace to you and your mother, Ameen
Call the police, but make sure the person won't be one of those ppl who say "but he's ur father ur should have sabr or whatever", Bild protection services if u have them? Prepare money and bags in extrem cases if u had to leave this place, maybe kick him out change the locks idk get dogs for protection, inchallah u will get through this, remember Allah will punish him for whatever trauma he caused u and ur mother
She should be divorcing him since he doesn't believe in God. Also even strictly speaking Islamic perspective he should be given punishment as mentioned on surah noor.
@@islamanimated That's seriously twisted
He’s way better than the scholars at my mosque
My mother is really toxic she only reaches to us if she needs something she tells lies about us curse us don't we have rights as her children
I know how you feel and being trapped on not being able to say a word because she’s your mother may Allah help and forgive your mother❤
Please more bayan on this topic .
InshaAllah we will work on it
My father is so much toxic because of him the environment of whole house is disturbing 😐 have no solution he didn't talk to any one if we try to talk his behaviour is abusive
Not all parents are qualified to be parent. The Ibrahim (as) didn't have the best parent. He also didn't spend all his life serving his dad. Same goes for Umber bin Khattab (ra). Unfortunately, the Islamic scholars tend to have one sided view when it comes to giving advice. they only follow the norm and don't consider the anomalies. That is why there are so much problems in the Islamic society. When you grow up in an abusive childhood it affects your adulthood. PTSD is real and mental illness shouldn't be shoved under the rug. Scholars need to learn more about narcissism, psychopathy, sociopathy before giving out advice that effects the whole society. Many people lose faith because they think Islam only means abuser getting away with crimes and the victims just have to tolerate it and be patient
Islam does not tell you to be patient against abuse
so true .. and they don't even realize they are the reason mental illness among gen Z is increased. the generational trauma is real, their dialogue is "I have suffered more than u or if i suffered u can suffer too" like do u give birth children just to abuse them like this? are u even an different than those isrealies killing children???
i have a abusive aunt in kenya everyday i wounder what did i do to deserve this evey night i say i hate my life more then anyone in the world she is soo hasid(mean -somail) she even made my 17 year old sister cry becuse of not cleaning 1 dirty pot she cleans everyday she hates all of us there are only 3 of us my aunt my sister and me we are broke so mom works in usa she has 3 jobs barely sleeps and my aunt spends on cosmatics everyday not even giving us a little money and hit me and my sister o allah please give us hope and guidance and jannah
We are 2 brothers and one sister (brother-first,,sister-second,,,i am the last one)
Our father loves us almost equally
But my mother never loves me and my sister ,on the level of what she loves my elder borther
My elder brother can not do anything significantly in any job even he is now 31,,, and he is supposed to make his food without doing anything of his entire life as my mother has property (my father gave her as my mother pressurized him)
My mother always wants to give him more and forget about my sister and me
She thinks my sister is for her husbands matter
I am not like my brother as he cant do anything in job
I am better than him and can earn
So my mother think i dont need property as i can earn while my brother is idle,,he cant earn thats why my mother wants to give him more
That always break my mind and positive willpower as i could also be pretend i cant do anything
I don't wanna keep relationship with my mother
Even sometimes i think if i cant go to jannah for not keeping my relationship with my mother then i won't go jannah still i won't keep relationship ( stating my mental downfall)
She always quarrel with my father and i have been seeing this all my life
She always want to pressurize everyone
I never get a healthy family
May Allah bring Hidaya to your mother and bring peace to your family
My mother Also loves my siblings bro and sis not me always lies about me in front of everyone since childhood she makes my life a living hell father loves us equally
Don't try to take getting into Jannah so lightly. This situation is how Allah is testing you to give a place in paradise. Wordly material is nothing, Allah might give you ability and castles to live in when you believe in him as he is THE ONLY AND THE BEST PROVIDER. Allahu Akbar
What child are you if you have nice and kind parents and you neglect them? Almost no child does that because a child loves the parents even if they are wrong and unfair. So what parents are you if you treat your children bad? I am not talking about mistakes you ask for forgivness. I have also children and sometimes they make you crazy but later I apologize for even shouting at them. I have the feeling that is the minimum I can do to my children. Most parents dont even accept their bad behaviour. I am not afraid of my children I can do whatever I want with them, but I am afraid of Allah and my kids belong to Allah. They are only an Amanah for a while. Treat your children with love and if you can not do so you must figure out why. Maybe something happened to you as a child as well, maybe your parents had been bad parents. Try to heal and dont blame your own children for that. Try to get help but avoid being a person who takes advantage of your kid being a weak and dependend little human being.
Aww the most sad thing is few days ago mother was so sick and I tried my best to take care of her. And she recover soon. After that she used a very nasty slang that broke my heart into million pieces
May Allah help you through the difficult situation and give you sabr, patience.
Me too happened the same thing throughout my life now I hate my mother very very much
I'm 19 yrs old and I'm very frustrated idk what to do I'm also sick now cz of this i get panik attacks now and went to emergency two times I'm taking antidepression med me and my siblings are very good students we got A and A + in our college this year but my father still not happy ...me and my siblings offer5 prayers but my parents don't and also mock us for doing this saying this is not how you gonna enter in jannah when ur parents aren't happy idk how to make them happy and today it was sehri time when my father beat my brother first he slapped him and then beat him with a pipe my brother is 17yrs old he didn't said a word to him my mother came in between but he beat him even more when i came in between he also slapped me on my face twice .....he almost do it often beats my mother my sis my bro and me idk what to do .....he never earned anything for us my mother is a school teacher she earned for us and for him her whole life and hardly managed to pay off his debts which he took and we didn't even knew she hardly managed to do it for our studies and home now she's sick she just hardly can go to school now she can't earn alot now i just passed my college and now I've to apply in some uni we asked our father to pay for our uni cz our mother can't afford now and he refuses saying you r not my responsibility take your own responsibility now my mother is mentally ill also she didn't took divorce from him and now we r suffering
May Allah grant you the patience, Ameen.
You have problem with father only right? I got problem with both.
My father didn't leave any stone unturned to hurt me and my siblings, after when he left us, My mother took it to next level and didn't leave anything that wouldn't hurt our feelings to our souls. Me and my siblings are mentally injured so much so that a little happiness seems like a fake thing.
I was a muslim girl.my parents are very toxix...they hurt me mentally ,physically and emotionally...Now I'm an atheist.... I'm happy.I forgot wot my parents did to me😭😭
It's sad that they drove you out of the fold of Islam hopefully you can get back on track on being a Muslim..I'm kind of on the edge too of leaving my religon but now that I'm seeing it it's my life not theirs that I need to take in account and focus on myself and being g a better Muslim.. btw parents do get punished severely in hell of making their own child be led astrayed
Dear sister, it is very hard to find solace in a toxic place, but I hope that our Deen finds a way back to you in its true beauty!
I'm very sorry that you became now the most unluckiest person Alhamdulillah we are blessed that we're Muslims ppl from every corner of the world are embracing Islam how can one make such a big mistake
Btw sis.i checked your subscriptions you have subscribed to many Islamic channels your faith is still with you come back to your religion Allah will make everything better Allah tests the servent who has strength to endure.
@@latest.790 what a terrible way to respond. Instead of you to be more merciful, make dua for the person and move on. May Allah SWT ease all your affairs, Ameen, ya Rabb
@@habibahdawodu5067 brother you should know ALLAH'S punishment is severe when Allah will ask" O son of Adam did you asked me for help when you was in distress"what will be our answer at that time Allah will keep the disbelievers forever in Hellfire I don't want any of my Muslim brother or sister to remain forever in Hell fire don't we remember how much our prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him his family and on his companions) suffered for this ummah abandoning religion means severing ties with Allah and his Messager in everyone's life there are problems,sorrows and sufferings every prsn has pain in their lives does leaving religion reduce problems?never we are Muslim ummah means one blood we would never want any of our brother or sister to burn in Hellfire forever while reading this sisters comment I felt really saddened forgive me if you found something wrong May Allah Guide us all
I m tolerating since my childhood 😢😢😢that's the reason I can't respect from my heart 😢😢
same
My mom has cursed me coz I wanted to marry a muslim woman but not from same country thus I havent talked with her some time. She refused my will to get married 4 times for same reason. Since then my whole life got destroyed, health relationship career investment, Iam actually fighting with several uncurable diseases my life is practically done for at 31. Really I dont know what to think anymore.
Repent to Allah and secure your akhira
@@muskaann23 Could you explain your answer ?
@nehir4267 May Allah forgive my limited vision and advice brother. In simple words I meant that maybe marrying the girl you want isn't what Allah has written for you, or maybe it is indeed written but Allah wants to increase your imaan through tests and trials, in that case it is best to start with repentence. ALLAH IS THE BEST AND THE ONLY PROVIDER WE HAVE, therefore ask him, make a good relationship with him. May Allah guide us all. Ameen
@@muskaann23 Thanks I appreciate your wisdom 😊 may Allah give you more good in this life and the other 🤲
May Allah make it easy for you, try to reconnect if you can. Mothers are also often forgiving to their own. And time heals everything.
Mashaallah
Dear Moulana Sahab , with great hope I am writing you for help . I accept I have anger issues because of my past childhood bad life . I have suffered physical , mental abusive from childhood to teenage . Even now at the age of 45 when I try my best to support my mother financially and other ways .I suffer badly with her abusive language and bad behavior .Now she is making my child stand against me . its affecting my next life also my sibling her both abroad , I am suffering badly now suicidal also please help me understand why only children have to deal with abusive harsh parents and only children are held in front of Allah. Brother Please advice .
May Allah help you
May Allah SWT ease your affairs, Ameen, ya Rabb
Find a good therapist that specializes on narcissistic abuse. They are hard to find but worth looking into. Most therapists have a bias or lack in knowledge in parental abuse.
Keep moving forward no matter what
I hope I'm not late. Having personally dealt with this situation, I'd like to advice you to take refuge in Allah for anger issues. Secondly, try to acquire as much islamic knowledge as possible about the abuse and it's consequences, how Shaytaan has a role in it, how you are allowed to maintain distance with her in terms what Allah has guided us to, how to see abuse that you survived through in a positive way, how is it benefitting your Akhira, how you get close to Allah, how you are aware what kind of person not to be to your children
As for your daughter make dua to Allah to increase love between you and her and she will eventually understand everything as she grows up. She will later learn how to see the actual face people hide behind their masks. She'll learn a lot too. Be patient and pray to Allah as he is the turner of the heart. Subhanallah
😭
I told my mother about my abuse and got no response the abuse was not even acknowledged
She may be victimized like you or check with your grandparents to understand where she comes from.
I always wondered why there are numerous rulings on becoming a good child and obedient child but not any on being a good parent. No rulings on children rights.
There are rulings on both
As for m I'm tired. They see it that they were the best. I'm very toxic now to everyone around me. I hv lost men to marry cos of attitude. I don't care about them I'm working on me so i don't be a pinch of them. May Allah forgive them it's just lack of wisdom
My mother is abusive physically and mentally till even when I was in high school and yes even my aunt, my families always says your mother is your jannah, but I always have this question, if being abusive is dzalim, then is jannah still exist in this abusive/dzalim mother? And why do ppl still defending my mother? I got confused, I cannot choose my own life because of this, even so I don't hate my mother cause my mother is like that. May Allah forgive us
We will explain more in another video during this Ramadan, inshaAllah. Please stay patient for Allah rewards the ones who are patient through the trials.
Father and mother are paradise to us .if they are abusive and frustate us for that reason i didnot focus at work or my salat .in the end we make him understand .still repeat mistake as a habbit ..bt i am helpless financially no way out that my weakness they took advantage ..once they became old naturally the revange will come .i react against parents ..will i commit any sin as par islamic law
Don't take revenge from your parents, regardless if they are old or young. Leave that to Allah SWT.
most of the scholars have one excuses for those who are suffering this kind of situation, Have sabr, Do pray, recite quran everything will all right while I'm getting abused, my mom getting abused bleeding on the floor, my sister got panic attacked, then again I tried to seek help again, and again same reply, Have sabr, Do pray 5 times , recite quran, and shout your mouth and do nothing.. there is no justice, no freedom of speech, everything is dead, people making islam so hard that most of the people thinking that islam is not peace anymore. And this is the darkside of the muslims that most of the scholars avoids. and blame the children.
shame on you!
Abusive parenting isn't part of Islam. May Allah bring hidaya to your parents, Ameen.
That’s why ton of Muslims choosing to stay single and have boyfriend or girlfriend, free from all issues , no headache . No responsibility for anyone ever . Americans are smart .
I dont agree on this concept either. Simply because parenthood is hard and heavy in responsibility, we must not stay away from it. When done right, it is of the highest honour.
@@islamanimated I agree ❤
It's unislamic.
I would argue they are not smart. The smart thing to do would be to submit yourself to Allah SWT and using this trial become closer to your deen. Do not make decisions that will negatively affect your hereafter and akhirah as this world is only temporary.
ten points for menk zero for suleiman. i'm huge on suleiman and he's still my favorite thinker but from a moral and ethical point of view mufti menk destroyed omar on this one
Checkout assim al hakeem's fatwa on this. He said people should just endure abuse as a test. I wonder what kind of a father or husband he is. I also wonder his knowledge regarding the psychological impact on the victims of abuse.
And then they say thats its only us who are a trial.
I disagree heaven doesn’t lay at the feet of your mother my mother is a terrible abusive evil woman . This is why learning about psychology is nessecary .
May Allah bring your mother back to the right path, Ameen.
My mother forced me to commit suicide not once twice .. I burned myself when I was 13years old .. I lost my most Lovable father at the age of 25.. m married Masha Allah husband is so loving and caring.. now also my mother sometimes treat me like hell just because I born a girl.. I forgave her again she is playing with my feelings she hurts me taunts me .. now tell me sir what should I do .. dnt know how many times she has beaten me ..tell me sir
May Allah make it easy for you this Ramadan. Please keep your inner strength and trust in Allah's plan. All of this is a test..
If you and your husband and can remove her from your life than do it. Ibrahim (AS) left his father when he couldn't convince him or anyone else in his nation to stop worshipping idols. Ibrahim (AS) father said that if he said anything on the topic of the idols again, that he would beat him. So Ibrahim (AS) left with his wife and son. You can definitely leave too and block her out of your life if that means getting peace at the end. You don't deserve to go through what you are going through.
My father always insults me when he drinks a lot and beat me may my Allah help me
My mom uses a lot of religious blackmail. So that people pick her side. She always says وماك ثما وماك ثما وماك ثما ابوك. She says it 3 times completely changing the words of Quran just so we can pick her side of an argument. She also pretends to faint in the ground trying to make us think my dad hit her. And I was diagnosed with autism but my mom says “you are just disrespectful” arguing with the words of two doctors just because she is embarrassed of having an autistic son. She told all of my relatives that I diagnosed myself on google. This is too far and I have the rights to cut her out of my life
May Allah bring her to the right path, Ameen.
My father is very toxic he scolds me without any reason what to do???
Keep sabr, and pray to Allah to show your father the right path.
My father hit me before, I ask him to smoke outside and he refuses. He threatened me multiple time with hitting. Please help me I don't know what to do anymore
Idk where u live, but did u call child protection sévices? Do u have a good relative u can live with? Or maybe one of ur friends parents might welcome u in (it's rare but it happens sometimes)?
there's something wrong with him.. uts nothing to do with you .. you're not his babysitter and if he hits you .. you need to focus on finding a way to leave that environment .. it is unhealthy for everyone .. if you do nothing , nothing changes
My parents lock me out of the room many times bcz I stay in there too long and tell me to sleep on the cold floor. They force feed me even when I tell them I’m full and they force me to study 24/7. When I have a certain complain they do not listen and they tell me to stop acting like a child. They physically and mentally abuse me every day. I just want to run away but I don’t have a place to go. I can’t stand them.
It's hard to explain ..i am just threatened someone would recognise me .. 🙂
I took my only 1 son to Haj this year and when he came back got into bad cloud again and pearced his ear..what should a mother do in this case..
As prophet Pbuh said throw such a person out of Your house if he does this..
Allahu akbar
Allahu Akbar
Pls help me.... I am a new mother and parenting stresses me out...i get angry when my baby cries .... I get thoughts of my baby girl hating me for being rude...
May Allah make it easy for you, and don't worry the human mind is designed to forget the negative situations. However, we will try to make a video in the coming month to help young mothers inshaAllah
What is the least worst thing parents can do & most worst thumg parents can do and it's called abuse ?
I think the least worst thing is the best thing to do, which is to follow the Quranic teachings and the prophetic model of mercy and compassion.
My father beats me and mentally tortures me and my mother on daily basis… I’m getting depressed n frustrated day by day…wht should i do? (I’m 23y/o)
May Allah make it easy for you. Are you a male? Can you move out and find a job or a business to support yourself and then cultivate a healthier connection with your family?
I am almost getting crazy
My mom torture me mentally
My first marriage broke because of my mom and my second marriage wz also about to broke because of my mom and still she is right and i m getting crazy
I don't know what my mistake is.My mother always mentally abuse me,even physically.Now it has become unbearable for me.I know parents are given high value in islam but does it mean we will suffer everything ?I really wanna end my life because my life has no purpose.Its really unbearable as a daughter to endure the torture of a mother.Please help me out
May Allah help ease your suffering. Did you talk to your local scholar/sheikh?
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Any law about it ?
Its not just about lectures
In Islam, hitting by leaving a mark is not allowed, whether between spouses or parents and children
soooo…. are we allowed to cut that tie ?
No unfortunately not.. according to Islamic teachings.
@@islamanimated o ok tysm
What if someone says harsh or vulgar words to your parents,what should you do
Seek help from a therapist specializing in narcissistic abuse. Society will be against you because most of the people are programmed to just take mother's side. Accept it and seek help. Nothing wrong with saving your own soul and faith.
What exactly does the Koran actually say about this topic? I’m not a muslim so I’m curious.
Your parents is your owner you are not the owner i only follow whay allah says
This islam, in 21sr century children abusive and toxic towards their mom, no video about that, since all mufti knows young people watching more videos, making money
There's a separate video about how to take care of your parents.
Stop marginalising men
It is not but it is men who are marginalising woman
@@saniatamanna7763 goes both ways. making broad sweeping false generalizations isn't healthy. both men and women are guilty. and both men and women are innocent. each case and each instance is uniquely complicated
@@dannybob physical and sexual abuse is often made by men
where are the rights for children in Islam ???? isn't mental abuse more worse than physical abuse ???
The children have their rights in Islam, we need to educate ourselves.