how to process an emotion *life-changing tips from a therapy veteran*
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- Опубліковано 30 тра 2024
- when you’d rather do anything but go to therapy,,,,, watch this video #psychology #emotionalintelligence #selfimprovement #selfcare #selfhelp #selfdevelopment
email: scatterbraingirl@yahoo.com
intro 00:00
why? 01:11
**acknowledge** and **name** it 02:20
**validate** yourself 05:37
figure out your steps **moving forward** 07:13
employ a **healthy coping mechanism** 09:12
Steps:
1. Acknowledge and name the emotion
2. Pause and notice - don't avoid emotion or use distractions
3. Sit in silence for 5 mins.
4. Reflect on your day 5 mins before sleep
5. Emotional chart- name the emotion
6. Don't justify your feeling
7. Moving forward- the feeling may come up again but it will less intensive every consecutive time.
Feel empowered for acknowledging and resolving your feelings.
Have an healthy coping mechanism: exercise/ journaling/ talking to therapist, partner, friend/ walking/ pursue hobby/ shower/sleep.
beautiful summary, thank you 💚
Sounds fuckin stupid tbh
As an autistic person. This is absolutely NOT helpful . At alllllll
@@Abishhhhhim autistic and i draw emotional intelligence and you've inspired my next diagram
@@Abishhhhh Idk, autistic people all operate just as different as everyone else. I'm autistic too and I don't think your autism is what makes this unhelpful for you. It's just your personality, your method of processing being different. No one said this was the Only Way
From the perspective of someone a little older, if you’re working on any of this stuff in your 20s, and think that you’re behind in any way, I definitely want to let you know that you absolutely are NOT. ❤ There are so many people who continually go throughout their lives never addressing this stuff, even though it massively affects both them, and how they interact with the world around them. They still just flatly refuse to go anywhere near the issue. I say all this to say, just working on these things at all, and especially at such a young age, is incredibly commendable. And, you’re actually quite ahead in life to be looking at them now, so you should definitely take pride in your self awareness and your decisions, because it is not easy.
Aw thank you for this 🥹
thank you! your mssge warms my soul
this made me feel better thank u
I couldn't have said it better. I'm 45 I wish I had this video when I was 23. Keep up the good work
I'm very encouraged by this as someone who feels massively behind from not learning how to be secure from childhood. Thank you for your kind words, and I wish you prosperity and contentment on your journey 🫂✌️
I heard "you're too sensitive" my whole childhood from my family. It has definitely affected me my whole life.
Same here. But in order for us to become healthy and stronger mentally we have to acknowledge the ugly emotions and actions that affect us . Like the girl in this video said, accumulating emotions eventually makes you break. So ironically in order for us to not be weak we have to actually acknowledge emotions and process them. Your family are assholes and they are the weak ones. I’m sorry you had to go through that.
Felt. Makes me inclined to allow my emotions to pile up to avoid feeling aka “being sensitive”
You're an empath/HSP
Same.
My mom said this to me all the time after hurting my feelings. Made me dissociate from my emotions. Had to cut her off.
Emotional intelligence classes should be a thing. It’s even academically justifiable because it could get into other subjects like science, the arts, and business interpersonal skills.
I couldn’t agree more
Yeah why isn't this a thing yet?
Look up Daniel Goleman. It's exactly what he says we should be doing. Lessons in emotional intelligence, who am and where do I come from, family constellations, if we taught this, the world would literally be a better place for it. Society - especially after the disconnect of corona - needs a massive course correction.
I never really thought about how important knowing how to process emotions was. Society just expects people to know how to process emotions since they come up so naturally, and we are never explicitly taught how to do this. But the tips you provided just felt so helpful. Especially the one about reflecting on your day; there are just so many things going on in life that we never acknowledge, and they can wear us down without us knowing if we don't address them. I will definitely use some of these tips. Thank you!
Glad to hear it, and thank you so much for commenting ❤
You’re so right! Emotions come up naturally but it’s doesn’t come natural to us to process them unless we learn
Absolutely. Parents don't teach us because they were not taught, and without feelings, you cannot shift your vibrational frequency at create everything you've ever desired. We are energy frequency and vibration and emotions are energy and motion. When we are drop down into the body and pay more attention than being up in our thoughts which have been programmed throughout the years..... we connect back to our power that we had when we were children.❤ when we allow emotions to flow through our energy centers without blockage, we clear up any illness and disease that we created within ourselves. Repressed emotions and spiritual blockages are the cause of us and disease, if we don't love ourselves enough then we're not aware of what we're putting in our bodies and what chemicals and toxins are around us, but low vibrational people Etc, because we have created our own reality and brought to us everything that's ever shown up, every person every situation and every opportunity.. all of that carries a frequency. That's how powerful we are ;-)
I remember the first time I just let my anxiety course through me instead of trying to explain it or suppress it. I placed a hand on my chest and allowed my heart to beat rapidly until it finally calmed down. Afterward it was a lot easier to take myself out of anxiety spirals before they even started. In my childhood I was shamed for expressing distress despite it being an appropriate response to trauma I was experiencing. Being able to process negative emotions is essential for my mental wellbeing.
Isn't it wonderful? I'm blocking the energy centers is so important.... breathing and allowing the flow❤ trusting and surrendering. There is nothing to fear, there is only love.
The " best dad" shirt " set the tone of calnmness. 😅😄
I Knowwwwww, right?!!!! I SO love that she wears that shirt! And had the cahoonahs (sp?) to buy it for herself in the first place!! #ImSoHereForIt
The shirt is why I'm watching this
i'm an avoidant attachment that never knew to process or talk about emotions properly, the skill just never came to me naturally. thank you so much for sharing ❤
I’m glad if this helps in any way 💚
the sitting for 5 minutes is pretty much medetation, you pay attention to what thoughts appear when you dont have anything distracting you from your emotions
FYI generally basic meditation practices ARE just sitting with your thoughts and emotions you're supposed to let whatever comes up come up. What's advised is to learn to pull your "mental spotlight" back a bit so rather than being trapped within those emotions you can... observe them from a distance. That does NOT mean not feeling them, but ultimately it's the reason for the concept of "not-self" or whatever, you are not your feelings because there isn't a you, not perceptually, just stuff that's happening and an observer. It's hard to explain but it DOES make this process easier.
I wasn’t trying to teach people to meditate all I wanted was for them to even notice what they’re feeling yk? but Ty for sharing !
To me, meditation falls short, however, depending on which technique. I find it's vital to let the body speak and calm itself down in the process. Meditation can be strenuous with trying to let thoughts go. As Yung Pueblo also explains, thoughts have their origins in the body, and just letting things be brings you into being and feeling, not being your emotions.
commenting for the algorithm bc this was actually so helpful + practical! like people always say that you have to process your emotions & not avoid them in order to heal but i'm not sure i've ever heard anyone spell out exactly how to do that, or at least not in a way that's stuck with me. i think this video is one that i'll think of often moving forward :)
Tysm for commenting it means the world❤
Doing the same thing
Everybody talk about processing emotions but nobody tells how to actually do it, its like they don't know it themselves and just repeats it, because its 'important'. Thank you so much for providing the knowledge to us! I wondered if you can heal yourself without therapy. I will make sure to follow what you've said in order to process my own trauma that i've been dealing with for a while and I acknowledged it but haven't done anything about it. Thanks again
you should still consider therapy if it’s possible for you, but in the meantime using public knowledge from the internet can be super helpful too !
I focus too much on the fact that the people i care about and give my attention to, perceives me as optimistic, happy, hyper, funny individual at all times. When moments appear where i do start to go through stuff, i most of the time tend to repress or bottle my those emotions and find distractions because moments when i'm vulnerable because i recently went through something, the people close to me handle me with direct confrontation instead of comforting which can result in me feeling more than drained than ever. I can handle criticism and being confronted in general just except when i'm vulnerable.
Tell them you need them to switch gears when you’ve had a bad day
If they can’t try or don’t care after they know that, they’re not your friends, you’re their entertainment
When we can release having any concern with others think or feel or say about us, then you are truly free. Even illness or any ailment in the body can dissipate because of that. Because the physical self must match up with what's going on with our inner thoughts and feelings because we are energy frequency and vibration.
Because you will never be able to control how others see you... because they can ONLY see you from the lens they are seeing THEMselves in at that particular moment, when you happen to be in their vicinity. It will always be projected on you, how they are feeling. We are not responsible for that nor should we manipulate their feelings by behaving in any particular ways. Otherwise that makes us the manipulator in the end. Leave others do whatever they want to feel think or say because that will reveal to you what's going on within them. If you keep your focus outside of yourself you are robbing yourself of your own life and creating your own sense of self from the inside out, in the healthy ways that your inner child wants to.❤
Subscribed. I've had over 20 years of trauma thanks to my family; and even though i go for therapy, I've realised there's so much self work to be done. I have no idea what emotions I feel (my go-to is any kind of distraction) because I didn't have the space to emote as a child. Thank you for this video. This is just the beginning of my journey.
Kinda just proves how bad most therapists are that they don't really have any advice on how to do this, either. Like, you've got to do it yourself, but isn't the whole point that they're supposed to help you along?
8:41 hit me. I constantly feel that im always in the wrong for setting boundaries. And its been hard to regulate my emotions. Thus video is God sent. Thanks sm.
Acknowledge and name the emotion (can take help from the emotions chart). Pause and notice if you're avoiding dealing with your feelings. Sit in silence with no distractions to hear your own thoughts. Reflect on your day.
Receive positive validation. Don't justify your feelings. You will be triggered by trauma in the future but hopefully, the intensity reduces over time. Take steps to protect yourself from situations or people that keep triggering you
Healthy coping mechanisms: mind is free but body is busy. Exercise, journal, craft, walk without distractions, cleaning, shower, sleep.
best dad ever!
I'm glad that I already think these ways. I dont have any trauma. I just stress too much. But lately, I've been taking care of myself more and the effects are positive.
I take some walks by myself, watch the landscape, people and nature then do some sport once a week(the walk alone is once per week. For sport, its 5 days a week. I swear, sport helps alot in many ways).
Whenever I fail a test, (which happened in one of the 4 tests we had today(Im in 10th grade Im 15 years old rn)) I used to cry just after it. But now, I just think its in the past and think about how to compensate the bad grade. Because, what else can be done, the bad has already happened I cant go back.
I also had to deal with "love" emotions that made my heart go up and down the cliff. I'm still a bit hurt but time is healing it. (And the punches I give to my punching bag).
But smtg is still annoying me cause I only think about the same things for HOURS.😮💨 But "thanks" to my 7 hours of classes per day I sometimes have to think so much that I forget those annoying other thoughts.(Im in french system. I pray for those who are in asian systems like Korea, Japan and China. You guys are tought and I respect all the people who've done it that far in these systems)
Its the 1st time I write such a long text. Srry bout that. I hope yall can get throught what you want to overcome. Im sure all of you have bigger problems thand I do. I wish I could share my luck with the most unlucky ones.
I send good energies to you. And dont forget: nothing is impossible. I was once unable to do one correct push-up... now I can do 10!! 😂 small improvements should always be seen as a victory, u should think the same too! It might help🤷♀️
Bye-bye☆
I've always had to conceal my emotions when I'm around people and smile like a jooly fellow. When i react or act different, people ask me why I'm being moody or I indirectly wasn't acting as strong or as happy as they expect me to be. And when i get angry it's so hard to let go of, i don't have anger issues but i just can't forget the anger when someone cuts me off from their life because i think deep down I'm hurt about. I'll definitely download this video, thank you.
Yeah, shower talk and shower CRY are such a relief!!!
This is exactly what I did to clear out an abandonment trigger... Instead of reacting we must stop and breathe .. The body's waiting for us to acknowledge it because it's held it in and kept score since we were children. People are so afraid of feeling the pain of the emotion because they remember it from childhood they don't realize that they are the one adult now in charge and not powerless and can redirect and clear it through the energy centers. And allow it to flow out and release the blockage, once we trust and surrender❤
The best way to learn to pause is by starting meditative practices because you learn to observe your thoughts, and stop believing them or acting on them. The world has been deliberately created as a matrix to distract control and enslave us because we have reactive triggers, to what's on the news for example.... just because it's their doesn't mean we have to believe it or act on it. Breathing and responding from our own internal guidance is how you take your power back. But it stems from a lot of toxic and dysfunctional family patterns and cycles that are inner child needs to heal from, otherwise we repeat the patterns with our jobs our employers, our partners friends etcetera. We attract and create our own external world that is mimicking how we feel internally.
Energy healing and sound healing is great for the body as well, because it's about unblocking energy centers, the chakras... we are energy frequency and vibrational beings first and foremost❤
in meditation you receive the answers you seek.. because you have learned to detach from the external world and especially family members or others thoughts and feelings because they are not ours and they have nothing to do with us, and never did. They can only merely reflect externally what's going on within them at any given moment. Just as we do.
This gives me so much hope seeing such a young person put this out into the world
i'm so glad this popped up on my recommended. i recently was struggling with processing anger and expressing it a non-destructive healthy way. I used to believe that i wasn't an angry person and that i could never be angry, but i think i was doing myself a disservice but not allowing myself to feel those heavy and hard emotions. once i started acknowledging that anger is within everyone and is a completely normal feeling to have, i feel like my perspective on life and how to manage my emotions changed for the better. it allowed me to be accepting of myself, and because of it, i've found ways to express my anger and cope with these heavy emotions in a way that works for me, isn't destructive, and doesn't push away people that mean the most to me. you can do it!
Anger is a valid emotion. I could talk forever about this but anger is a sign that your boundaries are being disrespected and violated. Expressing frustration is super important!
I start to cry when I get angry
Absolutely LOVED this topic. It's unfair how a lot of ppl may feel shame for expressing themselves (myself included, but we're getting there whoo). Im actually really big on ppl giving and receiving a proper apology because that to me is one way how you show someone you're sincere about the way you made them feel, no matter how small like you said.
I don't wanna make this too long, but thank you for sharing your thoughts and input on this topic. It's an eye-opener and feels comforting to know others are going through the same thing, and see these issues being talked about. Keep up the amazing work!💙
Absolutely! Accountability should be included in every apology. Glad you enjoyed the topic and tysm for commenting ❤
The emotion chart is a game changer. Thanks for sharing these wonderful tips to make living easier!
You don’t know how happy I am this video is reaching people 🙏🏻💚
To anyone who is passing by, I need some advice. Here is my story. I'm going through a lot of things recently. First off, I've always been social anxiety and a stutterer my whole life, and I didn't
face it until recently. I started to show up for myself, like I'm trying to speak my mind and express my feelings more even if I might stutter on some words. I'm trying to face the fear of being judged. Secondly, I was hit by lazy eye, so I was going to the hospital to train my eye muscles and was looking for a job at the same time, and this week, I just got a job offer so I'm being worried if I can wear an eye patch to work because my doctor said I have to cover my bad eye for
months until my eye muscles can get stronger. I don't know how to process these feelings. It's like something in my life got better and worse at the same time. I guess this is the fear of change and fear of being judged.
you can do it! ♥️
This should be way more popular. Thanks a lot, like really!
currently doing DBT with my therapist and this video truly helped me! I need to learn how to process emotions. Thank you❤
Uahl!! What an extensive description, perfect, covering multiple scenarios, I'm saving this video for life. Espetacular!
Girl, this is so true.
Thank you so much for sharing. Seeing a wheel of emotions for the first time literally made me cry. There were so many feelings I thought were sadness that are actually anger.
Needed this. Thank you 🙏
this is so good! thank you for sharing
THANK YOU sm as a fellow cognitive science major, it's hardest to endure issues when they come to the self
Really needed this❤
thank you for making this video! I needed to hear this today :)
Thank you for this!
Thank you for this.
This is such an important message and one that took me many years of anxiety and therapy to figure out! 10 years of chronic anxiety that just got worse and worse, became a hermit, hardly left the house, never went out with friends. Then I learned to process all of the things that had happened to me and my adult life truly began.
A little tip/suggestion from me: If you don't have anyone to talk to, try talking to yourself in the mirror. I started doing this when I was in therapy a few years ago and going through a difficult time. My therapist thought it was a great idea! Once you get into it you can get a bit carried away as there's no one there to interject, however, this is how I work through a lot of stuff and also how I figure out what I want to say to people if they've upset me in some way.
Me making UA-cam videos is basically that - talking to myself haha ! Thank you for the tip and the comment 💚
Me making UA-cam videos is basically that - talking to myself haha ! Thank you for the tip and the comment 💚
Subbed- thank you for honouring all of our time and giving us such life changing info without making us watch a 2 hour long vid. This will help so many people 💕
Very necessary, thank you
What a treat in my feed, thank you
thank you so much!!❤ you are helping so many people with your videos.
Such a good video! Tysm for this!
Wow. You're amazing ❤
that is some legit useful information on emotion processing ✨
thank you for the video it’s really eye opening
I just wanted to tell that thank you so much for doing those videos because it is helping me so much and i want to watch everyday your videos
This is very helpful! Thank you for sharing ❤
this is actually so clear and helpful i’m gonna cry thank you so much ♥️
Lady, you are saving lives! Adding subtitle was also a good idea. Thanks for this.
THANK YOU THANK YOU
Great video!
Loved this, thank you. Also really enjoy that you just sit in front of your camera and speak without a lot of jazz. 🌸🌸
thanks. Knew my heart felt horrible but when i addressed with microscopic detail why, and the person who hurt me it stopped hurting. The anxiety of being “in trouble” subsided substantially.
I’m so glad to hear that ur doing better 🫶🏻
the way you describe processing the healthy coping mechanisms, such as journaling and walking is so relatable, wow.
I’m so happy I stumbled upon this video and your channel, love the knowledge you give thank you ❤️
Thank you ❤
Thank you.
Thank you 😊
Great video. I learned a lot of helpful tips. You learning this stuff at such a young age is awesome ❤
Simple. To the point. Lean. Excellent.
this is so insightful, easy to digest, and very helpful 🥹 thank u sm for sharing ♥️
Step 1 is always the hardest for me. I'm much better at recognizing my emotions after months of retrospection, but at the time, I just get lost in the sauce.
Thinking about the concept of the problem and the solution are not separate entities, so once you identify the problem, the solution becomes clear. Once I am able to recognize that I'm lost in the sauce, the solution (i.e. healthy coping mechanism) is not so difficult to grasp.
Thanks for being a really great friend to us!💞
Thanks for sharing 💜
this helped a lot. thank you so much. i always felt the need to justify my emotions, in fear i was being petty or simply weak. this was reassuring to hear, thank you :")
Writing something down doesnt mean its gonna manifest. More you write the chaos down, less power it has over you. Basically you put your thoughts under objective analisis by writing them down or saying them out loud. I use to think i will manifest bad things if i say them or give them much thought, but it doesnt work that way. Its the intent that manifests. Your intent is to get to know you, be there for you and have a catharsis, this is what it is. This is what you manifest. We dont manifest what we say, this is media gurus bs they go around saying and actually causing fear. This is blocking your from releasing emotions. Its a real block. Most emotions are blocked by fear so you then need to deal with fear first. Write those thoughts down over and over again. This is how they lose power. Here we manifest what we fundemantally believe in, not what we say thought by thought. And if we believe something that doesnt suit us to manifest, the best way for it to lose power over you is shedding light on it and writing it down. This why it doesnt need to manifest for you to give it attention. The reason bad stuff manifests is because we refuse to become aware and then the reflection needs to become so aware we have no choice but to face it. The quality of our life is dependent on the willingness to face the negative emotions and thoughts when they are pebbles, so they dont turn into rocks we have to dig ourselves under. You had no support processing your emotions and feel unsafe to do it. My upbringing left the same issue, but sooner you realize it sooner you will be able to dive deeper into the emotion so it can be processed without resistance. In the meantime its a good idea to hold yourself during the fear without trying to think of anything. Lately its been said naming the emotion does nothing but take you from feeling to thinking, which is a form of resistance. Feel and process without the need to name it. That way it reveals itself at the core even or.
Thanks for this, I’m on a journey of self healing and developing my emotions by myself! I really want to save a relationship and future ones to come. I appreciate this video so much
This is such great advice 🙏✨
I've also been going to therapy and I loved this! It really was a good summary of this journey :)
loved this, thank you
i saw it at the exact moment i needed it
Thank you so much for making this video❤ ... I really needed to watch this to let some steam off I feel much better after understanding how I can let my emotions out and process it in a healthy way and I'm literally on my way to journal rn ....
I'm glad UA-cam randomly recommends me this video and I clicked it and watched it til the end. It's very organized and helpful. As now I'm waiting for my first therapy session, I'm gonna try these tips to help me go through these weeks of waiting. Thank you for the sharing!
Proud of you for going to therapy, dear!
WHAT A GREAT TOPIC !!! 😮😮under rated !!,
I really like the tip about looking at the emotion chart. I often find it hard to articulate what emotions I’m feeling, so I’ll definitely have to try it and see if it helps me express what I’m feeling in a clearer manner to those I talk to😊
Thank you!
So glad you found something helpful out of this video! ❤
wow!! Thanks for sharing this amazing knowledge of yours!
I experienced ptsd as a young age, and started my therapy in my teens. I had ups and downs in my early 20s then recently I found a peace in my mind.
Since I had my therapy young, luckily I embodied the way to process my emotions but never was able to explain exactly “how” to someone who needs help.
I got to understand how I do it haha by your video! You are spreading so much love, thanks again❤️
this was really helpful, ty!!
video legit made my day :) ty
I am autistic and I had bullies for a family. This is so helpful for my healing process, I've been learning as much as I can to avoid avoiding the difficult subject of feelings. Its been a journey of self discovery from learning that I had emotions at age 24, to age 31 where the best ways to process them is my top priority once I found that there is a whole world I've missed out on since I can remember.
I’m so sorry you went through a lot but it sounds like you’re managing it very well 💚
found this really helpful after a turbulent little rock-in-the-road moment during mother's day but i have been doing a lot of research and work solo these days so i was much more prepared than i thought, it's just different to stand up for myself and the negative wiring was making me feel like i should back slide to people pleasing and taking my focus off my goals and living slow and mindfully (despite this being life-changing for me lately and taking away the chronic migraines i had that i realized were from over-stimulation). nope, i'm choosing to stay consistent in living how i need to live for me to thrive and be able to do what i need for future me and goals to get accomplished and current me to stay well on every level to get there in a good state.
Thank you so much i really needed this it really helped me❤️❤️❤️
thank you for not gatekeeping 🙏 youre so awesome 🫶🏼🫶🏼 love the shirt btw xd
Someone appreciated the shirt slay!! Tysm for commenting and why would anyone gatekeep this haha! The world would be so much better if we all processed our feelings❤❤
Thank you❤ it was very helpful.
amazing video thank you! I hope your channel grows!
Thank you so much, I’m gonna cry 😢
Thank you
I understand that about the making it more real by writing it. I worry that If it's written it's turning it into reality 😅❤
Guided journaling REALLY helps!! With releasing emotions. 🎉🎉
I’ve been struggling with feelings of hopelessness, depression, and worthlessness for two years now, over some stupid guy, that didn’t give a shit about me…. I’m finally ready to start healing and doing better… I look forward to watching all your videos & improving myself however possible. Thank you, in advance 💜
thank you
Thank you❤
Your voice is so soothing! This video was awesome!
Ah thank you I’ve never gotten a compliment on my voice before 🥹
Thank you!
Wow great video! I will definitely be coming back to this. There’s so many coping mechanisms I have in order to not feel things when it comes to certain people from the past. At this point I’m beyond over it and want to move on, but of course how can I when I’m not actually processing the grief.
Just found you less than 10 seconds your voice instantly calmed me the title instantly caught my attention and it's right on time from a question I had within myself. Love you Girl ❤
I’m so glad ! Thank you for your kind words 💚
Thank you for this I am having issues feeling my feelings (letting myself) I will try these 💘
thank you for this video :) i had never heard of an emotion chart before
Ty for your comment and I’m so glad you found something new out of this video!
This was actually so helpful to listen to… I’ve only started thinking about emotions this way very recently (like this year) and the way you put it all together makes a lot of sense. Bookmarking for sure
I’m so glad and thankful to hear this! Tysm for commenting !!❤
Very thoughtful and kind of you to share this, sweet pretty wise One. bless you LOVE xoxOxox
such a great video you deserve more subscribers, thank you
I’m shook with how many I’ve been able to get, honestly! Tysm 💚