remember, friends: the purpose isn't to 'win' in this thing called life. It is to experience it all, as deeply as you can. The joys, the pleasures, the sadnesses, and the pains. Drink deep of it all, and know that no matter how it ends, or where you ultimately wind up, you alone have had your experience. No one can ever be you. Find someone to share that unique experience with, and hear their own, and make it through this life together for as long as you can. Love completely; none of us are getting out alive, but that shouldn't frighten you. It unites us in empathy and understanding. Live well, everyone.
Beautiful. Taste every flavor, drink every drop. You are the ocean, not the waves. We are all, right now, the universe experiencing itself. We are very very lucky indeed.
@@morningglory.213 there’s a reason that many cultures revere their elders for wisdom and perspective. Elders hold stories of time that young people can’t. There is definitely a difference.
@@thrift.afterdarkIt really doesn't make a difference since people of all ages are exposed to life and different circumstances. We can learn from people of all ages.
@@FMM-y4l when you face your fear, thats proof you have courage. in the vid she said its "practicing your courage".. then you realise that you can get back up because you can choose to face your fear... existential courage.
How is it that what is happening in my head is suddenly being picked up by UA-cam algorithm? It’s beginning to seem downright spooky. Thank you for the encouragement to work through fears rather than avoiding them.
Everything is energy (vibrations), also your thoughts. And you attract what you vibrate to. So if you think about something, you can attract it. It’s called manifesting 😊
You are experiencing synchronicity. Your higher self is giving you a nudge in the right direction. Try relying on these "nudges" and see where it leads you
As a 30+ I can confirm that this is important and true. I wish I knew sooner in life. I hardly left the house at some point in my life due to anxiety and fears. Courage is a virtue and it's like a muscle. Build it and over time all that you might need to carry or battle will feel less and less threatening. But you need to go through it. My mottos: "I cried, but did the thing anyway" and "Sometime's fear does not subside and you must do it afraid".
oh your comment is kind of reassuring! That am not alone! Am 34 and I feel ashamed to say that I chose comfort(a boring unchallenging job as admin/data entry) over the chance to travel the world and get into banking & pursue masters in france. I had the perfect internship with Lloyds bank in 2013 but was too scared to even reply! I sometimes wonder what I could've been. We need to learn to forgive ourselves and move on from the past. It's a challenge but am glad am working on it
the moment i realized that life isn't as serious as i thought it would be, is the moment i was free. death is inevitable, but what is important is we are living today.
Exciting video, A year ago i took the no contact route, well i wouldnt say it didnt go well, but i missed her and sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone and go for what you want, Without knowing and having a huge ego, we might actually miss out on our soul mate all in the name of not settling for less, I know who i am, and at the same time i know what i want for me, so i did all i could to get her back, and I must say, it was the best decision i have ever made, we have been together again for over 7 months, yes marriage isnt always rosy, but i am lucky to have her, just as she is to have me, we compliment each other..
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not.
I feel your pain sister , after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me.
As someone who has been stuck in a cycle of paralysing fear and anxiety. It is not easy to come out of, but it is so freeing everytime I get a little win of facing them gently. Anyone going through it. Take your time, and allow the emotions to flow and don’t stop them
i’ve been what the youth calls “hikikomori neet” (basically a hermit with no life) for five years now, and the outside world only gets scarier and scarier, with my other fears and problems growing stronger as well. recently i’ve been grappling with the fact that i really should finally get a job. i have been trying to look for anything with minimal social interaction and have started on my resume, but it’s still just so scary to think about. it really is true that the more you restrict and give in to fears, the worse it becomes. 0:37 “the more you restrict yourself in a protective way, the smaller your world becomes, and the more there will be fears.”
Yes. It's true of people who retire. The moment you avoid challenge is the moment you grow weaker. You have to go slowly in building up your courage and your emotional muscles again. You might like a job looking after animals or working in a forest, but you might actually really enjoy working with autistic people or being a carer too. Many options. What fun to strike out and start again.
I’m having an existential crisis just being alive. Some people are safe in a nice peaceful breezy meadow while others are getting bombed starved and torn apart. Perplexing.
It is an existential crisis just staying alive, but do find a green meadow in your life, at some point. I strongly recommend it. The violence in the world is utterly perplexing and we have to keep our heads clear.
@@bae2308 Es geht um die Hybris der Machbarkeit des eigenen Glücks. Jemand, der "intakt" ist, kann sich kein Bein abhacken, um zu erfahren, wie es ist, als Einbeiniger geboren zu sein: Dann "läuft" es halt nicht so...
@@moped975 It’s important to retrieve good advice from moments of clarity, as a reminder for times of darkness. It’s like making hay whilst the sun shines.
imo what this mainly teaches us is that we should show gratitude, and really cherish what we have, being cognizant that others can be in war torn countries trying to just survive
Feel the fear and do it anyway! That is something I always tell myself, especially if I have to do something I might be anxious about. Often after you've faced whatever it is you were afraid of, you wonder why you were so fearful in the first place!
Honest question, Does it feel like maybe its becuause you dont want to do it and its your body and minds way of saying there is better things to do or you shouldn't do it? I get anxious, and that question runs through me everytime.
@@ithought_so6438Maybe try asking yourself, if you could be completely not afraid of this thing, is it something you would want to do then? If so I think it's worth doing Sometimes I think we are most afraid of the things we most desire, because we care so much we become afraid to fail / make a mistake. But often the mistakes are such a vital part of learning the thing anyway
The fear of failure kept me from doing so many things. I ended up stuck in one place only these past two years with therapy im finally moving slowly forward
I had a friend as a youngster and he had a saying “meet every resistance in the physical, not in your mind. Say yes to life” That guy is a millionaire now and a top fashion designer. He’s also into architecture, music management etc. Nigerian guy
@@chasfredricks telling yourself [mental] you can't do it without the physical proof. Or predict[mental] you won't be successful when it hasn't happened. something like that.
@@freezo244The actual phrase itself doesn’t make sense to me either and I’m someone who loves deep, insightful nuggets 😂 However, based on their explanation it sounds to me that how they’re interpreting it is : Choose thoughts and beliefs that help you to believe in and create the outcomes you desire. If you choose negative thoughts, you’ll likely have negative results. If you choose positive thoughts, you’ll likely create a positive outcome.
the term “existential courage” is what drew me into this video. Most of my all-consuming fears lately have been existential ones. They eat at me mind, body, and spirit. The more I try to run from the feeling, the more it’s control over me grows, the stronger the fear becomes. I’ve finally decided that I am strong enough to face this and this dark time won’t last forever. And we are stronger than even our deepest fears. I have hope again that I will grow and change for the better through this experience. I choose to be expansive like you said, remain open and trusting, and to open my heart once again to life and my existence in it. Thank you for this beautiful message. ❤️ I will remind myself daily to have existential courage.
This is some of the best of what the internet has to offer. A kind stranger most of us would never have encountered in the real world passing on wisdom to hundreds of thousands of people and potentially improving countless people's lives.
My gosh ... this is so relevant to me. My life has actually shut down because of fear and it has shrunk so much. Its so good to hear from people that have so much experience. I am changing it all and this video is something I will play consistently
i understand this completely and i’m sorry you experience this feeling🙏🏼 i’m 25 and my life has been shut down for 6 years. i’ve been slowly practicing courage & working on myself as well in order to gain my life back, or to finally start my life i suppose. i’m sending good energy & the best of wishes that your life will only expand from here & that you will find yourself & your happiness again✨ i’m rooting you on!😊💕
Home has become a safe haven during these difficult times we are living in. Thank you for this message for it has encouraged me to continue my journey without fear.
I found you by accident and I can’t tell you how timely it’s been. I needed to hear your calm voice telling me that message this morning…. thank you ☺️
I lived my whole life in fear (35 years). I am finally getting out of my shell, slowly but surely. I never realized how simple and easy and beautiful life could be. Existential courage, I'm adding that to my vocabulary. Thank you 😊
Something about the way she said friend instead of friendS that this sound so much more sincere. Like she's focusing on the viewer rather than being aware of the audience focusing on her. Unintentionally insightful
I have a friend who never got over the one who got away. Consequently he put walls up, was not authentic, pretending he was happy alone. But putting walls up to protect his heart, those walls also kept him in.
A wonderful Australian doctor, a woman named Dr Claire Weekes, wrote many books on gently overcoming agrophobia (and anxiety, ocd, ptsd) which truly saved my life. Her books are still readily available and there is an audio program developed by a man based in New Zealand who suffered the same based on her works, David Johnson, who founded the Freedom From Fear program. I couldn't even take my bins to the curb two years ago and today I drove myself to a 4 mile hike. The books & audio program truly did save my life, please look them up and give them a shot if they resonate.
i am a first year UG student at a prestigious university, and at first the amount of opportunities here, coupled with my coursework felt so overwhelming! there were so many things for me to try but instead of doing that, I shut myself out of it all because I was so scared of how bad things might get for me. thank you so much for sharing this with us, I'll try to live by this idea.
I’m a 19 year old with a fear of public speaking and I’m about to give a research presentation in a few days. Your advice is so motivating and your voice is so soothing, it makes me less anxious. Thank you
@emilyy_li hope it went well! i’m a phd student and im slowly trying to overcome my fear of public speaking, too… one step at a time, w patience in ourselves as we embrace hard things! 👊
@@aliiigxrl1587 aww, it went super well!! I’m so happy everything turned out okay. I didn’t practice until 30 minutes before I was supposed to present to the judges 😵 I regretted it a lot in the moment, but I trusted myself, my knowledge, and all the hours I put into my research poster! I did well and got third place!! 🥹🥰 I feel a little better about presenting now… in the past I would mainly present random school projects that I didn’t care too much about but I’m so passionate about my research and I spent many hours on it so all the words I want to say just flows out ! Luckily the judges also seemed kind and chill so that also made me a little less anxious, felt more like a conversation with the judges about my research We got this!!! 💗💗💗
I was like you and I can tell you that the more you do it, the less scary it is. At the beginning of uni I would do EVERYTHING in my power to avoid presentations. But still, I ended up doing a lot of those and after 5 years I realized that I was way more comfortable, making it more enjoyable because I was less anxious. Hopefully it’d be the same for you!
"I was pondering this thought that fear is necessary and an inherent part of the human experience is there to serve the purpose of our survival. Without fear, we would step aside from our humanity and become aliens to ourselves. What is more terrifying than cosmic or existential horror is when one feels no fear at all. That detachment-the complete absence of fear-can feel like losing your identity and becoming something unrecognizable, even to yourself. We should not let it consume us but also we should not avoid it completely-the idea is to co-exist.
As a 28 years old who lost his job past month and deep in "challenges" and extremely worried, I really, really needed this message. So appreciated. Thank you. ❤
I lost my job at the end of last year, applied for a ton of new jobs and thought ‘wow, the job market is really bleak right now’ THEN I found and applied for a job that was better pay and better hours than the one I lost and got it. I’m not saying the same is going to happen to you, but I hope it does. Life is just silly and random.
I have recently realized that I have been afflicted by “uptightness” and it has made me feel so inadequate. I want to be free! I want to show my kid how to be fearless and open to life. Lovely video
Wise words for sure. I cannot disagree with anything she says. However I know that it is much easier to accept this message on an intellectual level than to actually LIVE like this. Confronted with events and especially with the unsettling effects of other human beings and the things that they do it can be quite a struggle to keep ourselves from reacting in negative ways.
The universe holds great things for those that are brave enough to seek them out. Thank you immensely for this, we all need a reminder every so often and you are a breath of fresh hair. I wish you a great day and blessed be!
This is really what I needed. I avoid a lot of situations because I don’t want to meet some people. I often said the reason is that they make feel uncomfortable, but I realised that I don’t want them to see me, I’m ashamed of myself. But by thinking like that I might avoiding opportunities of meeting new people, learning lessons, and enjoying life. I’m healthy, I have food, I sleep under a roof, I’m blessed and shouldn’t worry about things like that. The purpose of life is living it, not watching it. How can I improve myself if I don’t even face my fears. Thank you for your wise videos 🫶
I had this realisation today. I don't need to know it all now. I don't need to know everything, ever, at all. But I will become old and wrinkly and warm and wise. And here you pop up on my home page. If I get to live to an age like yours and have such a welcoming and kind energy, I've done it right.
I am old i have learnt that seeking validation from others is not good, be kind yes, but do not be a people pleaser or worry too much what others think.Do not be hard on yourself. You are on this ride for a short time, make the most of it and be the AUTHENTIC you.❤❤
After spending almost all my life living slave of fear, with social anxiety, barely living rhe house, never having a girlfriend and not having friends or a job, I feel like I can't handle it anymore but the fear and the paralysis is so strong I'm afraid I can't leave this situation
@@WAR3600 You will be able to build up your moral and emotional muscles again, even after many years of letting them wither. Begin by building up your physical muscles, at home and start going out for a minute at a time and build it from there. Your life is yours. Claim it back.
I was like that for many years. I eventually broke through when I was able to follow my interests into a supportive social situation. My whole life I read the newspaper specifically the sports section and I thought I wanted to be a sports writer. In high school I was so scared of people and so stressed out for my personal safety and because of my personal image I never joined the journalism club or school paper in high school. I had insomnia in high school. I could barely string together two sentences. I was attacked for no reason and watched my bully physically toppled right in front of me by an unexpected guardian angel in the back of the classroom. My first taste of true justice. Still, I hated my existence. I couldn't stay awake most of the day. My nutrition and stress were so bad I just laid in bed most of the night and worried my family with how absent I was. I had to do what was best for me in the face of peer pressure. I stayed with it until I was healthy and strong enough to go to a commuter college, free from all of the toxic people in high school and free as a bird really to breathe and pursue my interests and career. My sports reading and writing and fan based hobby became stronger over time as I used it as a way to bond with my dad and family as I did most of my life. Finally in my 3rd year of commuter college I got a internship at a local paper. It was tough. I had no clue what I was doing when I was sent out on assignment. The sports editor practically lived in his van and it looked like he was a hoarder of old newspapers and 2 liter Mt. Dew bottles. But I persevered. I covered local sporting events. I then interned at another paper covering local hockey games. One time a PR guy at a pro team's ice arena got angry at me for no reason. Perhaps he sensed I was shy. I was a short kid in his early 20s still and I showed up a tad bit late and he eviscerated me. It didn't matter. I kept going. You have to be a student of life and play the cards you're dealt. Keep going forward or rest when you have to. There are no right or wrong answers. We remember the suffering and the unfair and bad times a lot but we remember the good times more. Anyway, eventually I made it through my internships and that gave me confidence. I had taken journalism internships before my peers in journalism and communications. Suddenly the shy kid who was behind the eight ball in life for almost 15 years was ahead of the curve. I was seen as a success and on the leading edge in my young burgeoning bid to become a professional. I met beautiful women and easy going dudes of all walks of life. I made lifelong friends in the society of journalists. I worked on the school paper and had more fun with my friends than I ever did in any stage of my life since elementary school. My life path had come full circle. Then, another test from the universe. My professional life seemed like it was going nowhere as I worked at the local drug store for a year out of college, no job leads. Eventually a connection from my college society reached out to me. They needed part time workers at the biggest newspaper in town. I met another lifetime friend who was the sports editor at the largest newspaper in my state. I played basketball with him. I got my work on the front page of the paper. My confidence soared. Personal life wise I still didn't have a girlfriend. I spent time with amazing women but was too shy to properly ask them out although I did ask them to lunches and events and things like that. I had heartbreak. I was passed over. I learned a girl and another girl I liked were with guys that I didn't feel was in my league at all. It seemed like I was intimidating to women for the first time in my life and instead of them sharing my feelings for them or vice versa they criticized me for not doing what they wanted me to do or they were incredibly flaky and played hard to get when I thought in my mind I was doing everything I could to show them that I wanted to be with them and for them to be my girlfriend. It was hard to swallow, my confidence was tested again. Finally in my 30s I had a girlfriend who was a good safe person to date for my first girlfriend. Then another girl I liked a lot I had the opportunity to date. Miscommunications happened. It was sad and tragic when we went our separate ways. I guess what I'm trying to say is, you have to keep climbing that ladder. Then you may have to cross a river. Then you may have to meditate inside of a cave. This is life. My dad is a fiercely strong and independent person who doesn't take crap from anyone. Sometimes we perceive these things positively sometimes negatively. My mom is super sweet but sometimes too nice. Again, we take the good with the bad. Take what you like and make it your own. Uniquely yours as Bruce Lee said. BE PROUD AND CONFIDENT IN WHO YOU ARE AND DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS, EVER. When you think there is no path forward you are being redirected and prepared, always. Again. Be confident and proud in who you are and don't give up. Improve each day. You will have to sacrifice things, people, places, situations, possibilities, dreams you LOVE. But, there is always another mission, always another possibility. In my experience, it always happens when I least expect it after I pray and bang my head against the wall and meditate and stumble and fail and am betrayed and hurt and hate myself and love myself and everything in between. Everyone and everything is way different than our societally conditioned cookie cutter perceptions. Be open minded. Again, love yourself, don't give up, improve, and know that you never really know when or how or who as much as you would like to. It will happen, or something close to what you want will happen, or many times something better will happen. Ok I will hop off my soap box now good luck and God Bless
Thank you thank you thank you. all my 23 years of life i've been scared of growing up and of "losing" in life and of so many things i can't list them all here. hearing this lovely lady talk so gently about the struggles of being alive yet finding peace amidst all that truly made me feel more positive about being here. life's not easy but it's worth it nothing can break us as we're stronger than we think and there's so many things we thought we wouldn't survive and we did. here we are. much love to this special human and hearing that from someone who has been alive for so much longer than me truly makes me feel hopeful about aging and finding peace of mind it doesnt matter how many years that might take. i'll thrive and experience pain and joy. and i'll survive. thank you
I'm trying to do that every day now, taking out the trash, taking care of myself as much as I can. Getting out of my shell step by step. Thank you for this video; I needed it. 🎀
I love that attitude, of having an open gentleness to life. That if things don’t work well, reflect, and then sit back up so that you can try again. It’s refreshing to hear someone say it out loud. We shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves.
I feel like other people become angry when i am courageous. When I am at my best, I feel others attack without provocation. So I must keep facing these types of people while remaining courageous, rather than trying to hide myself away from their attacks.
Courage and confidence provoke hostility in those who feel threatened by it. Learn to be courage and confident without threatening others. When you are courageous enough to step forward, you are strong enough to do so with care and to stand your ground if others disagree. Not everyone will like you when you come out of hiding. it takes a while to get our voice right.
The algorithm works in weird (spooky) ways... Going through an incredibly challenging time at the moment, lots of mental health issues, unemployed, greiving, completely alone, end of a 5 year relationship, no spark for life left in me... then this video randomly popped up and I cried watching it. Your wisdom and confidence is admirable. I'm not saying I'm going to suddenly be able to jump up & feel positive and act like I have nothing to worry about, because there are sadly practicalities in the modern world like needing to pay for the roof over our head etc... but I cherish your words and will do my best. And despite your video being totally random, I subscribed immediately (which is rare for me) because I am grateful for you making this video in the first place, which will likely touch/help many people, and I appreciate your authenticity 🙏
i’ve become very selective about the company i keep, and i’ve never been happier. in turn i’ve developed a fear of it being ripped away, today i communicated how i feel to someone very close to me, and it wasn’t as well received as i had hoped and it filled me with dread and regret. wishing i hadn’t spoken my mind. this was a good reminder that vulnerability opens you up for rejection. however fearing misery won’t keep it at bay, life ebbs, and flows and i try to remember to take it all in stride. thank you for the reminder of perspective, being open is a gift! and one i shouldn’t regret.
@@morelandseasonings Wise words: fearing misery won’t keep it at bay. We have to deal with the contradictions and conflicts on our path, instead of bemoaning them. This is how we become courageous.
@morelandseasonings resonate with what you say about opening up to another person despite fear. thats bravery! may i provide another perspective: maybe in this sense when we open up and convey our vulnerability to others. we can maintain a neutral no expectation from them as 'hope and expectation of our perceived response from others' may set us up with being disappointed for starters, a perceived negative response lens within us. if they resonate gd, if not then its ok. we tried. theres many internal factor or etc at play that we may never know of. that sometimes is better left unsaid. what we dont know may not hurt us sometimes. if we persist on knowing it may not be the answer we want and we hurt the semblance of that relationship in that sense. we may also, might have to rethink the state of the relationship if the person is not at the same wavelength as you in the long run. this is just my tiny two cents.
it really IS important to push yourself to go outside of your comfort zone. to dare to feel uncomfortable will make you more resilient, and fewer and fewer things will be scary, but instead, exciting or comfortable. it is important to dare to live. to dare is everything
I think UA-cam somehow knew I needed this today. I have been regressing into my anxiety and feeling overwhelmed. I REALLY needed to hear this today. Thank you :)
This is like hearing something wise from my grandma. I love the insight that life should be treated like a game and not as a challenge. My anxiety keeps paralyzed and stuck I know it has its purpose but sometimes it just stays with me longer than it should.
Thank you that was beautiful. Your intellect, warmth and beautiful heart & soul shines through. With your dog panting in the background was the sound of a happy dog on a walk, I subscribed straight away. I’m on my 5th rescue dog right now and his life of abuse for 6-9yrs before I adopted him, helped me to look after myself better through the gentle training, encouragement and positive reinforcement to help build his confidence and self esteem. But I always believe that my previous dog chooses my next dog, as the dog I need and that the dog needs me, he is the 2nd badly abused dog I have had so I knew I could make a difference in his life for the better. People often focus on the scars on his body and feel sorry for him, but that doesn’t help him because he doesn’t want to live in his past, he is living in the present which is coming to work with me everyday, and having dog beds and sleeping on my bed with me things he’s never had before. I need to nurture myself like that too and encourage myself. Thank you.
@@Sweetlyfe What a wonderful response. How fortunate you are to have learnt so many lessons from your dogs and how fortunate they are to have you to surpass their scars. Nurture, not torture. I may do a clip about that!
So klug, so praktikabel, so freundlich rübergebracht. Ich kann nur vielmals Danke sagen. Denn dies ist das Richtige zum richtigen Zeitpunkt genau für mich. Danke.
This is what I am trying to instill in my children: to take calculated risks; to dare a little; to lean hard in the direction of their dreams. Because I am saddened by the fact that I am now 60 and have regrets--not so much for the things I've done (although there are those, too), but more for the thing I'd have liked to have done and didn't because I hadn't the courage. There were major decisions I made not based on my dreams or desires, but made out of fear, and any decision based on fear is going to be one to regret later on.
The only way around it is through it. I am a very anxious person and 2 years ago i started facing my fears and i got so much more confident. I cant fear everything all my life. Everytime i stood face to face with fear it got smaller. And other fears get more managable as well because i made myself sure that i will be okay. I am more trusting towards myself now. It is not an easy task though and taking small steps is important. Facing fears causes a lot of stress still and takes tons of energy but the reward is much Higher
I am 63 and loved listening to what you said because this is exactly what I experienced in my life. When I was younger I wasted a lot of time with fears and trying to fight them. I then learned to live with them because they are part of me but I also learned not to let them take control of my life. Thanks for these wise words. I am sure they will help a lot young people who are lost in todays complicated life.
Thank you very much for bringing us this wise message in such an articulate way. It is very motivational, without the all too often exaggerated will power narrative, but from a place of steady heart felt clarity
I've been dealing with health/physical anxiety for +50 days, i feel like i'm dying everyday, pains that scare me although i'm actually healthy. I've been afraid of living my life because even hearing or reading or even thinking a little bit about death scares me a lot, though i've been taught that's the only thing is sure in our lives, it'll eventually reach us, but silly me refuses the idea of living just once, i know, i'm being dumb or silly here. I really needed to watch this. It's really appreciated
Thank you for this powerful reminder! Trying to stay safe becomes our prison. The more we practice building our courage muscles, the stronger we get at facing our fears. Yes, to cultivate joy, lightness, flexibility and humor is key.
It is becoming more evident that we have lost the ever inportant role of the village elder. Yours and other videos are such a breath of fresh air. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, dear woman ❤
This could not be a more timely video in my feed. I've recently had a lot going on in my head - and had a breakdown a couple of weeks ago. Yesterday evening I realised that the tiny handful of things that I'm proud of in my life were the times when I showed courage. I was terrified of the potential negative outcomes - but took the leap anyway. In some cases I didn't get the outcome I wanted. In those cases I felt embarrassment, rejection, dejection or failure. But for those things I'm no longer twisted up in fear and doubt. I then realised how much of my life I wasted because I was terrified to take an opportunity ready for the taking. I'm in my forties and there are plenty of things where I will never get another chance. My goal is to do the things I've been avoiding because they scare me. I'm not dying wondering.
One of my favorite quotes is from Sir Ernest Shackleton, an explorer who led three dangerous expeditions to the Antarctic in the early 20th century. He said "Optimism is true moral courage". Speaks volumes - it's soooo easy for me to become dissatisfied with my position in life and to feel afraid of taking the next steps. To believe that good things can come your way in the future takes bravery! Negativity is actually the easy, cowardly way out of the difficulties of life.
Very wise words. I agree that 'Being afraid in a state of angst all the time creates our own smaller world but with existential courage' is wanting to find our own truth in this unexplored, confusing, and unpredictable world is neither reckless just a normal part of everyday life. 'It is courageouss sometimes just to even live'- Seneca Thank you my friend 💚💙
Thank you so much. This has been my reality for the last 5 years. I've struggled really hard and it's actually really heavy right now to even write this comment. But I'll tell you one beautiful thing that I caught my brain doing that I haven't seen it do in so long, because of your wisdom, respect and courage! I checked to see how much of the video was left cause I really wanted to leave this comment, and I saw I was only half way done. (That's the thing I caught my brain doing. I've always, since birth, been a glass half full person. This showed me something else can exist. Yes, it's terrifying. The goodbyes are terrifying. But I wouldn't be here today for the hello's. So this is me saying, Hello! And thank you.
Thanks for popping up just as I needed to hear this. I was sat full of anxiety and fear of my life and my current diificulties but this has snapped me out of it. It's like the universe knew what I needed to hear and it presented me with your video, thank you Emmy.
Thank you for this video. As my graduation date comes closer I've noticed I've been getting more scared in my daily life about every little thing, I think it's because I'm worried about what comes after graduation. This was the reality check I needed; the time will pass anyway, so the best I can do is enjoy it and trust that I will be okay. Anything else is a waste of time and positive energy. Sending everyone in the comments who are in similar situations all the strength to get through it!
Omg you have reminded me WHY I'm having troubles this year. I've become afraid somehow! No more. I've got so much existential courage! I just needed reminding
This video came at the exact time I needed it. I made a decision a few days ago that I felt in my gut was right but I kept putting it off because I was afraid of the after. I have always been guided by that fear. But last week I felt a shift within me like something has to give I do have control I can create my reality and so I went with the "reckless" decision trusting that everything would be okay, that the decision I'm afraid of can be the right one. I couldn't really express what that made me feel but it felt right. And you just articulated it perfectly. I recognized what you were saying immediately and I really needed to hear this so thank you for your message.
I love this message! It also carries more weight coming from a woman who's experienced life rather than a teeny bopper in their bedroom who is just getting started in the adult world. Thanks for showing us mature ladies that UA-cam isn't just for the young.
I only found your channel today. This is the second clip I have watched and listened to and I want you to know how soothing and uplifting I find what you say. Thank you so much. You have a lovely unpretentious way of talking about the complexities of life and putting them infront of your audience in a concise and layed back manner, so they can take away meaningful insight and workable truths. I think that what you offer is a much needed contribution of a rare qualitiy indeed; something to be cherished and appreciated.
I heard someone say recently to not go out of your comfort zones but to expand your comfort zones. I like that mind shift.
Yes, that's the better way of looking at it. It's about making more room for yourself. I did another video about that!
I love that
@@EmmyvanDeurzen Which episode is that please?
@@l0v3gd1 ua-cam.com/video/c95DadnFzbk/v-deo.htmlsi=MHnf3XSeaYXzdx2e
@@l0v3gd1 this one too: ua-cam.com/video/e-Qj4RGieq0/v-deo.htmlsi=kWUY0Wo6HJpBWjCW
The fears we don’t face become our limitations
@@internet_user1131 Well said.
You just gave me a huge realization
This resonates with me. I will now break through these fear limits and step into myself. Thank you too and thank you Emmy. ♥
@@internet_user1131 so what then?
That was said in Jonathan Livingston Seagull in the 1970s.
"The more you live life, the better it will get; the easier it will become and the stronger you will feel." Thank you.
Those who are willing to learn to live better, will always find it does get easier and they will feel stronger.
I love what you said, “life is a game, not a challenge.”
But isn't a game a challenge as well?
@@jillballantyne1870 Let me re-comment, to avoid misunderstandings.
@@kristymoore7052 But isn't a game a challenge as well?
This hit me too ❤
Life is not a game.
remember, friends: the purpose isn't to 'win' in this thing called life. It is to experience it all, as deeply as you can. The joys, the pleasures, the sadnesses, and the pains. Drink deep of it all, and know that no matter how it ends, or where you ultimately wind up, you alone have had your experience. No one can ever be you. Find someone to share that unique experience with, and hear their own, and make it through this life together for as long as you can. Love completely; none of us are getting out alive, but that shouldn't frighten you. It unites us in empathy and understanding. Live well, everyone.
@@Quantum8eats thanks for adding these wise words!
yesyes
I hope you have a really beautiful life ❤
Beautiful. Taste every flavor, drink every drop. You are the ocean, not the waves. We are all, right now, the universe experiencing itself. We are very very lucky indeed.
@@funhousemirror Yes 100% :):)
This reminds me of a quote I heard recently, “The things you are doing to protect yourself are preventing you from living.”
I heard something similar: "self preservation can become self imprisonment" words never rang so true. Be well and God bless.
❤❤❤
I love the sound of the dog breathing in the background on the warm day :)
He’s excited for her to stop filming so he can get head pats
I THOUGH THE SAME!!! "is that a... dog breathing??? is he filming her?" 😂😂❤❤
@@yaracyta he filmed her 😂
I wanted to see the dog! That would be the perfect conclusion to the message lol 😭
Hello Mr Puppers ❤
NICE TO HEAR FROM AN OLDER PERSON INSTEAD OF A 20 YEAR OLD
Amen
👏👏👏
I don’t think it makes a difference since we’re all fellow humans :) but as long as it makes you happy!
@@morningglory.213 there’s a reason that many cultures revere their elders for wisdom and perspective. Elders hold stories of time that young people can’t. There is definitely a difference.
@@thrift.afterdarkIt really doesn't make a difference since people of all ages are exposed to life and different circumstances. We can learn from people of all ages.
"the smaller your world is, the bigger your fears become" Ooooh...that rang true!! Thank you ❤
In order to know courage, once must experience fear.
To realize you have no courage
@@FMM-y4l when you face your fear, thats proof you have courage. in the vid she said its "practicing your courage".. then you realise that you can get back up because you can choose to face your fear... existential courage.
True. Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage empowers us to act despite our fear.
In the same way, we cannot know progress if we do not know struggle.
@@FMM-y4l Son to father: "How can I be brave when I feel so afraid?". Father: "It's the only time you CAN be brave".
How is it that what is happening in my head is suddenly being picked up by UA-cam algorithm? It’s beginning to seem downright spooky. Thank you for the encouragement to work through fears rather than avoiding them.
@@SeaBreeze2247 Courage, friend.
Everything is energy (vibrations), also your thoughts. And you attract what you vibrate to. So if you think about something, you can attract it. It’s called manifesting 😊
Edward Snowden did mention about spying thought s
EMFs
You are experiencing synchronicity. Your higher self is giving you a nudge in the right direction. Try relying on these "nudges" and see where it leads you
The dog's breathing sound makes it 100x better :)
As a 30+ I can confirm that this is important and true. I wish I knew sooner in life. I hardly left the house at some point in my life due to anxiety and fears. Courage is a virtue and it's like a muscle. Build it and over time all that you might need to carry or battle will feel less and less threatening. But you need to go through it. My mottos: "I cried, but did the thing anyway" and "Sometime's fear does not subside and you must do it afraid".
@@tanern1191 a muscle that needs exercise!
@@tanern1191 i know this is the way but its.....really eating me alive i might just be a coward
"you have made it through 100% of your bad days":
@@sarahdonaldson-g7h Though sometimes with great difficulty. So you have proven your courage already.
oh your comment is kind of reassuring! That am not alone! Am 34 and I feel ashamed to say that I chose comfort(a boring unchallenging job as admin/data entry) over the chance to travel the world and get into banking & pursue masters in france. I had the perfect internship with Lloyds bank in 2013 but was too scared to even reply! I sometimes wonder what I could've been. We need to learn to forgive ourselves and move on from the past. It's a challenge but am glad am working on it
the moment i realized that life isn't as serious as i thought it would be, is the moment i was free. death is inevitable, but what is important is we are living today.
Exciting video, A year ago i took the no contact route, well i wouldnt say it didnt go well, but i missed her and sometimes you have to leave your comfort zone and go for what you want, Without knowing and having a huge ego, we might actually miss out on our soul mate all in the name of not settling for less, I know who i am, and at the same time i know what i want for me, so i did all i could to get her back, and I must say, it was the best decision i have ever made, we have been together again for over 7 months, yes marriage isnt always rosy, but i am lucky to have her, just as she is to have me, we compliment each other..
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i am in a similar situation, and i do not know what else do to have him back, i have been dying inside, people actually think i am happy, i am not.
I feel your pain sister , after trying out the no contact experiment that failed miserably, i had to find other means, i had to reach out to a spiritual adviser, it was brilliant idea which i never thought it was, but it worked wonders for me.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him/ her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
As someone who has been stuck in a cycle of paralysing fear and anxiety. It is not easy to come out of, but it is so freeing everytime I get a little win of facing them gently. Anyone going through it. Take your time, and allow the emotions to flow and don’t stop them
Well said!✨🌷
@@Rama-lila thanks
Thanks for sharing!
@FeralFeminine13 excellent point of view thank you for inspiration
ua-cam.com/video/N5SUQCd0al0/v-deo.htmlsi=V1pph-tR19CXCMjD
Very beautiful person and so kind human being
Great UA-cam name! 😊
Mordaunt
@@Nick-gq2iy I appreciate your kind words. Plato Cave is a wonderful philosophy, a true eye on opener if we resonate with current times.
i’ve been what the youth calls “hikikomori neet” (basically a hermit with no life) for five years now, and the outside world only gets scarier and scarier, with my other fears and problems growing stronger as well. recently i’ve been grappling with the fact that i really should finally get a job. i have been trying to look for anything with minimal social interaction and have started on my resume, but it’s still just so scary to think about.
it really is true that the more you restrict and give in to fears, the worse it becomes. 0:37 “the more you restrict yourself in a protective way, the smaller your world becomes, and the more there will be fears.”
Yes. It's true of people who retire. The moment you avoid challenge is the moment you grow weaker. You have to go slowly in building up your courage and your emotional muscles again. You might like a job looking after animals or working in a forest, but you might actually really enjoy working with autistic people or being a carer too. Many options. What fun to strike out and start again.
The wisdom of the elders! We need more people who have lived life sharing their wisdom and experience. This is the true wealth of life.
That is very true!
If you talk to random elder people in real life, they will be happy to share their wisdom with you. Try it. ;-)
I see an elder giving real advice, I click, and I listen ♥️
I’m leaving this comment here so that every time someone likes it, it will remind me to come back!
Time to come back. 🙂
@@man_vs_life Thank you
Time to watch this again 🙌🌻
Welcome back 🫶
Come back! Jack! Come back!😊
I’m having an existential crisis just being alive. Some people are safe in a nice peaceful breezy meadow while others are getting bombed starved and torn apart. Perplexing.
It is an existential crisis just staying alive, but do find a green meadow in your life, at some point. I strongly recommend it. The violence in the world is utterly perplexing and we have to keep our heads clear.
Und die, die auf der Insel der Glücklichen leben, geben den Verunglückten Ratschläge - anstatt demütig und dankbar zu sein für das eigene Glück.
@@bae2308 Es geht um die Hybris der Machbarkeit des eigenen Glücks.
Jemand, der "intakt" ist, kann sich kein Bein abhacken, um zu erfahren, wie es ist, als Einbeiniger geboren zu sein: Dann "läuft" es halt nicht so...
@@moped975 It’s important to retrieve good advice from moments of clarity, as a reminder for times of darkness. It’s like making hay whilst the sun shines.
imo what this mainly teaches us is that we should show gratitude, and really cherish what we have, being cognizant that others can be in war torn countries trying to just survive
Feel the fear and do it anyway! That is something I always tell myself, especially if I have to do something I might be anxious about. Often after you've faced whatever it is you were afraid of, you wonder why you were so fearful in the first place!
It’s too hard for me
@@SparklingGlitterCookie If you tell yourself you “can’t” that just means you won’t.
Honest question, Does it feel like maybe its becuause you dont want to do it and its your body and minds way of saying there is better things to do or you shouldn't do it?
I get anxious, and that question runs through me everytime.
@@ithought_so6438Maybe try asking yourself, if you could be completely not afraid of this thing, is it something you would want to do then? If so I think it's worth doing
Sometimes I think we are most afraid of the things we most desire, because we care so much we become afraid to fail / make a mistake. But often the mistakes are such a vital part of learning the thing anyway
My favorite Tumblr post says, "are you afraid? Then do it scared"
The fear of failure kept me from doing so many things. I ended up stuck in one place only these past two years with therapy im finally moving slowly forward
I had a friend as a youngster and he had a saying “meet every resistance in the physical, not in your mind. Say yes to life”
That guy is a millionaire now and a top fashion designer. He’s also into architecture, music management etc. Nigerian guy
"Meet every resistance in the physical, not in your mind." 🎯
Don't suffer in imagination. Face it and it won't be so bad. @@chasfredricks
@@chasfredricks telling yourself [mental] you can't do it without the physical proof. Or predict[mental] you won't be successful when it hasn't happened. something like that.
@@pamperedgurl I still don’t get it. But thanks for trying
@@freezo244The actual phrase itself doesn’t make sense to me either and I’m someone who loves deep, insightful nuggets 😂
However, based on their explanation it sounds to me that how they’re interpreting it is :
Choose thoughts and beliefs that help you to believe in and create the outcomes you desire.
If you choose negative thoughts, you’ll likely have negative results. If you choose positive thoughts, you’ll likely create a positive outcome.
the term “existential courage” is what drew me into this video. Most of my all-consuming fears lately have been existential ones. They eat at me mind, body, and spirit. The more I try to run from the feeling, the more it’s control over me grows, the stronger the fear becomes. I’ve finally decided that I am strong enough to face this and this dark time won’t last forever. And we are stronger than even our deepest fears. I have hope again that I will grow and change for the better through this experience. I choose to be expansive like you said, remain open and trusting, and to open my heart once again to life and my existence in it. Thank you for this beautiful message. ❤️ I will remind myself daily to have existential courage.
@@isabellebeasley8226 if you are firmly on the side of life, life will support and heal you.
Well said
I think us INFJ and INTJ appreciate this ❤
Love to hear people that have actually lived life talk about it ❤❤❤
This is some of the best of what the internet has to offer. A kind stranger most of us would never have encountered in the real world passing on wisdom to hundreds of thousands of people and potentially improving countless people's lives.
My gosh ... this is so relevant to me.
My life has actually shut down because of fear and it has shrunk so much.
Its so good to hear from people that have so much experience.
I am changing it all and this video is something I will play consistently
i understand this completely and i’m sorry you experience this feeling🙏🏼 i’m 25 and my life has been shut down for 6 years. i’ve been slowly practicing courage & working on myself as well in order to gain my life back, or to finally start my life i suppose. i’m sending good energy & the best of wishes that your life will only expand from here & that you will find yourself & your happiness again✨ i’m rooting you on!😊💕
I’ll bet you’re a strong, kind person. You deserve good people and things in your life. You can do this!
People are beautiful.
I understand perfectly. The lack of existential courage plagued my entire life.
Home has become a safe haven during these difficult times we are living in. Thank you for this message for it has encouraged me to continue my journey without fear.
This couldn't have come at a better time, I have struggled for 4yrs, and need that nudge to push me back to reality. Thank you❤
Watch it every morning for ten days, for your daily nudge and watch yourself changing.
@@EmmyvanDeurzen thank you x
Hello, dear, beautiful lady. 😊 Thank you for your very wise words. 🙏🏼 I know you are correct! - Cynthia
Ditto ❤
❤
i needed to hear this. I've become such a recluse. i feel like i can't even begin to unpack all my issues so i can somewhat feel normal.
I found you by accident and I can’t tell you how timely it’s been. I needed to hear your calm voice telling me that message this morning…. thank you ☺️
I lived my whole life in fear (35 years). I am finally getting out of my shell, slowly but surely. I never realized how simple and easy and beautiful life could be.
Existential courage, I'm adding that to my vocabulary. Thank you 😊
@@SubBy-mw2tt Great! 👍
Something about the way she said friend instead of friendS that this sound so much more sincere. Like she's focusing on the viewer rather than being aware of the audience focusing on her. Unintentionally insightful
I have a friend who never got over the one who got away. Consequently he put walls up, was not authentic, pretending he was happy alone. But putting walls up to protect his heart, those walls also kept him in.
i'm trying to overcome agoraphobia, it's hard. thanks for these words.
@@7nowk And you will regain your freedom and be at ease.
@@EmmyvanDeurzen my mom had agoraphobia almost her whole mature life. She finally found courage in her senior years to come to visit me.
Love you Mom.
I have it, no car does that. You slowly get used to staying in
A wonderful Australian doctor, a woman named Dr Claire Weekes, wrote many books on gently overcoming agrophobia (and anxiety, ocd, ptsd) which truly saved my life. Her books are still readily available and there is an audio program developed by a man based in New Zealand who suffered the same based on her works, David Johnson, who founded the Freedom From Fear program. I couldn't even take my bins to the curb two years ago and today I drove myself to a 4 mile hike. The books & audio program truly did save my life, please look them up and give them a shot if they resonate.
Yes, I'm unable to drive. I've become agoraphobic over the years as well@@frankjamesbonarrigo7162
i am a first year UG student at a prestigious university, and at first the amount of opportunities here, coupled with my coursework felt so overwhelming! there were so many things for me to try but instead of doing that, I shut myself out of it all because I was so scared of how bad things might get for me. thank you so much for sharing this with us, I'll try to live by this idea.
Pace yourself and make the most of it.
I’m a 19 year old with a fear of public speaking and I’m about to give a research presentation in a few days. Your advice is so motivating and your voice is so soothing, it makes me less anxious. Thank you
@@emilyy_li Go Emily!
@@EmmyvanDeurzen Aww, thanks! You replied 😲 This is a sign for me to stay optimistic for my presentation 🤗
@emilyy_li hope it went well! i’m a phd student and im slowly trying to overcome my fear of public speaking, too… one step at a time, w patience in ourselves as we embrace hard things! 👊
@@aliiigxrl1587 aww, it went super well!! I’m so happy everything turned out okay. I didn’t practice until 30 minutes before I was supposed to present to the judges 😵 I regretted it a lot in the moment, but I trusted myself, my knowledge, and all the hours I put into my research poster! I did well and got third place!! 🥹🥰 I feel a little better about presenting now… in the past I would mainly present random school projects that I didn’t care too much about but I’m so passionate about my research and I spent many hours on it so all the words I want to say just flows out ! Luckily the judges also seemed kind and chill so that also made me a little less anxious, felt more like a conversation with the judges about my research
We got this!!! 💗💗💗
I was like you and I can tell you that the more you do it, the less scary it is. At the beginning of uni I would do EVERYTHING in my power to avoid presentations.
But still, I ended up doing a lot of those and after 5 years I realized that I was way more comfortable, making it more enjoyable because I was less anxious.
Hopefully it’d be the same for you!
A wise reminder for us in the US, who are facing fears previously unknown. Thank you. 💙
Here's hoping Biden finds the courage to do the right thing and let the future step up.
@@oriel9347like Harris, she’s going to lose, she’s unlikable
@@oriel9347let’s hope we can move forward
@@frankjamesbonarrigo7162 she is also not up to the task
boy I sure hope you are right!
"I was pondering this thought that fear is necessary and an inherent part of the human experience is there to serve the purpose of our survival. Without fear, we would step aside from our humanity and become aliens to ourselves. What is more terrifying than cosmic or existential horror is when one feels no fear at all. That detachment-the complete absence of fear-can feel like losing your identity and becoming something unrecognizable, even to yourself. We should not let it consume us but also we should not avoid it completely-the idea is to co-exist.
@@jayitadas5453 Very good points.
As a 28 years old who lost his job past month and deep in "challenges" and extremely worried, I really, really needed this message. So appreciated. Thank you. ❤
@@sajjad-y9f Tough times and you are getting yourself together. Keep your eye on what truly matters in life and keep the inner light shining brightly.
I lost my job at the end of last year, applied for a ton of new jobs and thought ‘wow, the job market is really bleak right now’
THEN I found and applied for a job that was better pay and better hours than the one I lost and got it.
I’m not saying the same is going to happen to you, but I hope it does. Life is just silly and random.
@@fusugar thanks for the hope ❤️
@@fusugarNot silly or random: you were astute and brave and won that job.
@@EmmyvanDeurzen that’s kind of you to say. Thank you.
I have recently realized that I have been afflicted by “uptightness” and it has made me feel so inadequate. I want to be free! I want to show my kid how to be fearless and open to life. Lovely video
I went out of my comfort zone and received the Blessings of God with my New Traveling Nursing Career. I'm extremely grateful to God❤
Wise words for sure. I cannot disagree with anything she says. However I know that it is much easier to accept this message on an intellectual level than to actually LIVE like this. Confronted with events and especially with the unsettling effects of other human beings and the things that they do it can be quite a struggle to keep ourselves from reacting in negative ways.
@doctorberkowitzYes. That’s why I’m learning to enjoy and sustain life with as little other humans as possible.
Thank you for the encouragement and wise words.
“The more you live life, the better you’ll get, the easiest will become and the stronger you will feel”, the real goat.
"You have the safety within yourself"
I needed to hear that today. ❤
The universe holds great things for those that are brave enough to seek them out. Thank you immensely for this, we all need a reminder every so often and you are a breath of fresh hair. I wish you a great day and blessed be!
This is really what I needed. I avoid a lot of situations because I don’t want to meet some people. I often said the reason is that they make feel uncomfortable, but I realised that I don’t want them to see me, I’m ashamed of myself. But by thinking like that I might avoiding opportunities of meeting new people, learning lessons, and enjoying life. I’m healthy, I have food, I sleep under a roof, I’m blessed and shouldn’t worry about things like that. The purpose of life is living it, not watching it. How can I improve myself if I don’t even face my fears.
Thank you for your wise videos 🫶
@@aemulus1 the first steps are the hardest and you have already taken those by watching this and thinking about it so deeply.
I came from that neuro (spine?) surgeon who chose to live. And now, this.
This is what classic UA-cam was for!
Classic UA-cam ❤
I got recommended this video after my post but clarity, that is what the internet is for.
Me too…
I had this realisation today. I don't need to know it all now. I don't need to know everything, ever, at all. But I will become old and wrinkly and warm and wise. And here you pop up on my home page. If I get to live to an age like yours and have such a welcoming and kind energy, I've done it right.
Thanks!
Actual wisdom. Someone tell the algorithm this is what I would like to see more of. Thanks Emmy!
I would love for that to be possible. But it isn't. Best way is to subscribe to my channel. And you are so very welcome, my friend!
I am old i have learnt that seeking validation from others is not good, be kind yes, but do not be a people pleaser or worry too much what others think.Do not be hard on yourself.
You are on this ride for a short time, make the most of it and be the AUTHENTIC you.❤❤
After spending almost all my life living slave of fear, with social anxiety, barely living rhe house, never having a girlfriend and not having friends or a job, I feel like I can't handle it anymore but the fear and the paralysis is so strong I'm afraid I can't leave this situation
@@WAR3600 You will be able to build up your moral and emotional muscles again, even after many years of letting them wither. Begin by building up your physical muscles, at home and start going out for a minute at a time and build it from there. Your life is yours. Claim it back.
I was like that for many years. I eventually broke through when I was able to follow my interests into a supportive social situation. My whole life I read the newspaper specifically the sports section and I thought I wanted to be a sports writer. In high school I was so scared of people and so stressed out for my personal safety and because of my personal image I never joined the journalism club or school paper in high school. I had insomnia in high school. I could barely string together two sentences. I was attacked for no reason and watched my bully physically toppled right in front of me by an unexpected guardian angel in the back of the classroom. My first taste of true justice. Still, I hated my existence. I couldn't stay awake most of the day. My nutrition and stress were so bad I just laid in bed most of the night and worried my family with how absent I was. I had to do what was best for me in the face of peer pressure. I stayed with it until I was healthy and strong enough to go to a commuter college, free from all of the toxic people in high school and free as a bird really to breathe and pursue my interests and career. My sports reading and writing and fan based hobby became stronger over time as I used it as a way to bond with my dad and family as I did most of my life. Finally in my 3rd year of commuter college I got a internship at a local paper. It was tough. I had no clue what I was doing when I was sent out on assignment. The sports editor practically lived in his van and it looked like he was a hoarder of old newspapers and 2 liter Mt. Dew bottles. But I persevered. I covered local sporting events. I then interned at another paper covering local hockey games. One time a PR guy at a pro team's ice arena got angry at me for no reason. Perhaps he sensed I was shy. I was a short kid in his early 20s still and I showed up a tad bit late and he eviscerated me. It didn't matter. I kept going. You have to be a student of life and play the cards you're dealt. Keep going forward or rest when you have to. There are no right or wrong answers. We remember the suffering and the unfair and bad times a lot but we remember the good times more. Anyway, eventually I made it through my internships and that gave me confidence. I had taken journalism internships before my peers in journalism and communications. Suddenly the shy kid who was behind the eight ball in life for almost 15 years was ahead of the curve. I was seen as a success and on the leading edge in my young burgeoning bid to become a professional. I met beautiful women and easy going dudes of all walks of life. I made lifelong friends in the society of journalists. I worked on the school paper and had more fun with my friends than I ever did in any stage of my life since elementary school. My life path had come full circle. Then, another test from the universe. My professional life seemed like it was going nowhere as I worked at the local drug store for a year out of college, no job leads. Eventually a connection from my college society reached out to me. They needed part time workers at the biggest newspaper in town. I met another lifetime friend who was the sports editor at the largest newspaper in my state. I played basketball with him. I got my work on the front page of the paper. My confidence soared. Personal life wise I still didn't have a girlfriend. I spent time with amazing women but was too shy to properly ask them out although I did ask them to lunches and events and things like that. I had heartbreak. I was passed over. I learned a girl and another girl I liked were with guys that I didn't feel was in my league at all. It seemed like I was intimidating to women for the first time in my life and instead of them sharing my feelings for them or vice versa they criticized me for not doing what they wanted me to do or they were incredibly flaky and played hard to get when I thought in my mind I was doing everything I could to show them that I wanted to be with them and for them to be my girlfriend. It was hard to swallow, my confidence was tested again. Finally in my 30s I had a girlfriend who was a good safe person to date for my first girlfriend. Then another girl I liked a lot I had the opportunity to date. Miscommunications happened. It was sad and tragic when we went our separate ways. I guess what I'm trying to say is, you have to keep climbing that ladder. Then you may have to cross a river. Then you may have to meditate inside of a cave. This is life. My dad is a fiercely strong and independent person who doesn't take crap from anyone. Sometimes we perceive these things positively sometimes negatively. My mom is super sweet but sometimes too nice. Again, we take the good with the bad. Take what you like and make it your own. Uniquely yours as Bruce Lee said. BE PROUD AND CONFIDENT IN WHO YOU ARE AND DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR DREAMS, EVER. When you think there is no path forward you are being redirected and prepared, always. Again. Be confident and proud in who you are and don't give up. Improve each day. You will have to sacrifice things, people, places, situations, possibilities, dreams you LOVE. But, there is always another mission, always another possibility. In my experience, it always happens when I least expect it after I pray and bang my head against the wall and meditate and stumble and fail and am betrayed and hurt and hate myself and love myself and everything in between. Everyone and everything is way different than our societally conditioned cookie cutter perceptions. Be open minded. Again, love yourself, don't give up, improve, and know that you never really know when or how or who as much as you would like to. It will happen, or something close to what you want will happen, or many times something better will happen. Ok I will hop off my soap box now good luck and God Bless
@ Thanks for sharing your experience with our little community.
"Treat life as a game. In this game, there are no enemies-only teachers that look like chess pieces." -some guy, probably
Thank you thank you thank you. all my 23 years of life i've been scared of growing up and of "losing" in life and of so many things i can't list them all here. hearing this lovely lady talk so gently about the struggles of being alive yet finding peace amidst all that truly made me feel more positive about being here. life's not easy but it's worth it nothing can break us as we're stronger than we think and there's so many things we thought we wouldn't survive and we did. here we are. much love to this special human and hearing that from someone who has been alive for so much longer than me truly makes me feel hopeful about aging and finding peace of mind it doesnt matter how many years that might take. i'll thrive and experience pain and joy. and i'll survive. thank you
I'm trying to do that every day now, taking out the trash, taking care of myself as much as I can. Getting out of my shell step by step. Thank you for this video; I needed it. 🎀
I love that attitude, of having an open gentleness to life. That if things don’t work well, reflect, and then sit back up so that you can try again. It’s refreshing to hear someone say it out loud. We shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves.
I feel like other people become angry when i am courageous. When I am at my best, I feel others attack without provocation. So I must keep facing these types of people while remaining courageous, rather than trying to hide myself away from their attacks.
Courage and confidence provoke hostility in those who feel threatened by it. Learn to be courage and confident without threatening others. When you are courageous enough to step forward, you are strong enough to do so with care and to stand your ground if others disagree. Not everyone will like you when you come out of hiding. it takes a while to get our voice right.
The algorithm works in weird (spooky) ways...
Going through an incredibly challenging time at the moment, lots of mental health issues, unemployed, greiving, completely alone, end of a 5 year relationship, no spark for life left in me... then this video randomly popped up and I cried watching it.
Your wisdom and confidence is admirable. I'm not saying I'm going to suddenly be able to jump up & feel positive and act like I have nothing to worry about, because there are sadly practicalities in the modern world like needing to pay for the roof over our head etc... but I cherish your words and will do my best. And despite your video being totally random, I subscribed immediately (which is rare for me) because I am grateful for you making this video in the first place, which will likely touch/help many people, and I appreciate your authenticity 🙏
Judging by these words, you will find your way, slowly but surely. Watch some more of my videos and stick around! Glad you found me.
@@EmmyvanDeurzen 💚
i’ve become very selective about the company i keep, and i’ve never been happier. in turn i’ve developed a fear of it being ripped away, today i communicated how i feel to someone very close to me, and it wasn’t as well received as i had hoped and it filled me with dread and regret. wishing i hadn’t spoken my mind. this was a good reminder that vulnerability opens you up for rejection. however fearing misery won’t keep it at bay, life ebbs, and flows and i try to remember to take it all in stride. thank you for the reminder of perspective, being open is a gift! and one i shouldn’t regret.
@@morelandseasonings Wise words: fearing misery won’t keep it at bay. We have to deal with the contradictions and conflicts on our path, instead of bemoaning them. This is how we become courageous.
@morelandseasonings resonate with what you say about opening up to another person despite fear. thats bravery!
may i provide another perspective: maybe in this sense when we open up and convey our vulnerability to others. we can maintain a neutral no expectation from them as 'hope and expectation of our perceived response from others' may set us up with being disappointed for starters, a perceived negative response lens within us.
if they resonate gd, if not then its ok. we tried. theres many internal factor or etc at play that we may never know of. that sometimes is better left unsaid. what we dont know may not hurt us sometimes. if we persist on knowing it may not be the answer we want and we hurt the semblance of that relationship in that sense.
we may also, might have to rethink the state of the relationship if the person is not at the same wavelength as you in the long run.
this is just my tiny two cents.
it really IS important to push yourself to go outside of your comfort zone. to dare to feel uncomfortable will make you more resilient, and fewer and fewer things will be scary, but instead, exciting or comfortable. it is important to dare to live. to dare is everything
This is growing old, not getting old. ❤
Amazing words!! hugs from Brazil. From a guy, 41 years old, looking for the sense of living
I think UA-cam somehow knew I needed this today. I have been regressing into my anxiety and feeling overwhelmed. I REALLY needed to hear this today. Thank you :)
This is like hearing something wise from my grandma. I love the insight that life should be treated like a game and not as a challenge. My anxiety keeps paralyzed and stuck I know it has its purpose but sometimes it just stays with me longer than it should.
Thank you that was beautiful. Your intellect, warmth and beautiful heart & soul shines through. With your dog panting in the background was the sound of a happy dog on a walk, I subscribed straight away. I’m on my 5th rescue dog right now and his life of abuse for 6-9yrs before I adopted him, helped me to look after myself better through the gentle training, encouragement and positive reinforcement to help build his confidence and self esteem. But I always believe that my previous dog chooses my next dog, as the dog I need and that the dog needs me, he is the 2nd badly abused dog I have had so I knew I could make a difference in his life for the better. People often focus on the scars on his body and feel sorry for him, but that doesn’t help him because he doesn’t want to live in his past, he is living in the present which is coming to work with me everyday, and having dog beds and sleeping on my bed with me things he’s never had before. I need to nurture myself like that too and encourage myself. Thank you.
@@Sweetlyfe What a wonderful response. How fortunate you are to have learnt so many lessons from your dogs and how fortunate they are to have you to surpass their scars. Nurture, not torture. I may do a clip about that!
Thank you for the love you show your rescues. How beautiful
Thank you for the love you show your rescues. How beautiful
❤amazing I will “practice courage every day “
as someone who often gets existential, I love your term “existential courage.” it certainly will help me reframe my anxious thoughts into brave ones!
This lady is sensational. Great advice.
So klug, so praktikabel, so freundlich rübergebracht. Ich kann nur vielmals Danke sagen. Denn dies ist das Richtige zum richtigen Zeitpunkt genau für mich. Danke.
This is what I am trying to instill in my children: to take calculated risks; to dare a little; to lean hard in the direction of their dreams. Because I am saddened by the fact that I am now 60 and have regrets--not so much for the things I've done (although there are those, too), but more for the thing I'd have liked to have done and didn't because I hadn't the courage. There were major decisions I made not based on my dreams or desires, but made out of fear, and any decision based on fear is going to be one to regret later on.
I needed to hear this today!
The only way around it is through it. I am a very anxious person and 2 years ago i started facing my fears and i got so much more confident. I cant fear everything all my life. Everytime i stood face to face with fear it got smaller. And other fears get more managable as well because i made myself sure that i will be okay. I am more trusting towards myself now. It is not an easy task though and taking small steps is important. Facing fears causes a lot of stress still and takes tons of energy but the reward is much Higher
you’re an amazing person. this has gotten me out of a serious hole. thank you
So pleased to hear that. Keep going.
I am 63 and loved listening to what you said because this is exactly what I experienced in my life. When I was younger I wasted a lot of time with fears and trying to fight them. I then learned to live with them because they are part of me but I also learned not to let them take control of my life. Thanks for these wise words. I am sure they will help a lot young people who are lost in todays complicated life.
Thank you very much for bringing us this wise message in such an articulate way.
It is very motivational, without the all too often exaggerated will power narrative, but from a place of steady heart felt clarity
@@guerillametafysic Thanks for your lovely feedback. That really means a lot to me.
you speak like poetry and it makes my heart happy
I've been dealing with health/physical anxiety for +50 days, i feel like i'm dying everyday, pains that scare me although i'm actually healthy. I've been afraid of living my life because even hearing or reading or even thinking a little bit about death scares me a lot, though i've been taught that's the only thing is sure in our lives, it'll eventually reach us, but silly me refuses the idea of living just once, i know, i'm being dumb or silly here.
I really needed to watch this. It's really appreciated
@@fireXdisaster try this one: ua-cam.com/video/gkVH02RQ4-M/v-deo.htmlsi=c8vP0WtNO1_g5KhP
Why do I think the dog directed this video 😭
🤣🤣🤣
It was the cameraman 😂😂😂
I’m dead at this 😂
😂
😂
Thank you for this powerful reminder! Trying to stay safe becomes our prison. The more we practice building our courage muscles, the stronger we get at facing our fears. Yes, to cultivate joy, lightness, flexibility and humor is key.
Thank you Lord for giving me courage…for giving me compassion…for giving me strength…for giving me beauty🩷♥️💜
It is becoming more evident that we have lost the ever inportant role of the village elder. Yours and other videos are such a breath of fresh air. Thank you for sharing your wisdom, dear woman ❤
@@ashs4383 Yeah. That’s right. We need to recycle the lived wisdom into the community.
Yes causes most of them are crackhead in the streets
This could not be a more timely video in my feed. I've recently had a lot going on in my head - and had a breakdown a couple of weeks ago. Yesterday evening I realised that the tiny handful of things that I'm proud of in my life were the times when I showed courage. I was terrified of the potential negative outcomes - but took the leap anyway. In some cases I didn't get the outcome I wanted. In those cases I felt embarrassment, rejection, dejection or failure. But for those things I'm no longer twisted up in fear and doubt.
I then realised how much of my life I wasted because I was terrified to take an opportunity ready for the taking. I'm in my forties and there are plenty of things where I will never get another chance. My goal is to do the things I've been avoiding because they scare me. I'm not dying wondering.
@@Graeme1504 👍
One of my favorite quotes is from Sir Ernest Shackleton, an explorer who led three dangerous expeditions to the Antarctic in the early 20th century. He said "Optimism is true moral courage". Speaks volumes - it's soooo easy for me to become dissatisfied with my position in life and to feel afraid of taking the next steps. To believe that good things can come your way in the future takes bravery! Negativity is actually the easy, cowardly way out of the difficulties of life.
@@micahsnow346 Negativity is a given. Courage is something you need to learn! Shackleton a glowing example!
Very wise words.
I agree that 'Being afraid in a state of angst all the time creates our own smaller world but with existential courage'
is wanting to find our own truth in this unexplored, confusing, and unpredictable world is neither reckless just a normal part of everyday life.
'It is courageouss sometimes just to even live'- Seneca
Thank you my friend 💚💙
@@omarthearab81 Wise words indeed. Yes, it is courageous just to live.
Beautiful, thank you for sharing. Am off travelling and trying to do that! ❤
Enjoy
Thank you for giving an external voice to the small courageous voice inside me that wishes to keep growing
“Don’t take it so seriously, and don’t let your fears get to you” such wonderful advice
Thank you so much. This has been my reality for the last 5 years. I've struggled really hard and it's actually really heavy right now to even write this comment.
But I'll tell you one beautiful thing that I caught my brain doing that I haven't seen it do in so long, because of your wisdom, respect and courage!
I checked to see how much of the video was left cause I really wanted to leave this comment, and I saw I was only half way done. (That's the thing I caught my brain doing. I've always, since birth, been a glass half full person. This showed me something else can exist. Yes, it's terrifying. The goodbyes are terrifying. But I wouldn't be here today for the hello's.
So this is me saying, Hello! And thank you.
Missing wise elders in my life. We need this, thank you ❤❤
Thanks for popping up just as I needed to hear this. I was sat full of anxiety and fear of my life and my current diificulties but this has snapped me out of it. It's like the universe knew what I needed to hear and it presented me with your video, thank you Emmy.
Thank you for this video. As my graduation date comes closer I've noticed I've been getting more scared in my daily life about every little thing, I think it's because I'm worried about what comes after graduation. This was the reality check I needed; the time will pass anyway, so the best I can do is enjoy it and trust that I will be okay. Anything else is a waste of time and positive energy. Sending everyone in the comments who are in similar situations all the strength to get through it!
@@WhaleSharkEnjoyer Good self scrutiny!
Omg you have reminded me WHY I'm having troubles this year. I've become afraid somehow! No more.
I've got so much existential courage! I just needed reminding
If you ever doubt yourself again, my song courage might help too! ua-cam.com/video/PtIfxSabg0E/v-deo.htmlsi=Ewq51EXbUE4S_qDi
This video came at the exact time I needed it. I made a decision a few days ago that I felt in my gut was right but I kept putting it off because I was afraid of the after. I have always been guided by that fear. But last week I felt a shift within me like something has to give I do have control I can create my reality and so I went with the "reckless" decision trusting that everything would be okay, that the decision I'm afraid of can be the right one. I couldn't really express what that made me feel but it felt right. And you just articulated it perfectly. I recognized what you were saying immediately and I really needed to hear this so thank you for your message.
@@rojihm94 ua-cam.com/video/FILHv4h98CY/v-deo.htmlsi=6z_Tk3K_cXkPOwfO
I love this message! It also carries more weight coming from a woman who's experienced life rather than a teeny bopper in their bedroom who is just getting started in the adult world. Thanks for showing us mature ladies that UA-cam isn't just for the young.
I only found your channel today. This is the second clip I have watched and listened to and I want you to know how soothing and uplifting I find what you say. Thank you so much. You have a lovely unpretentious way of talking about the complexities of life and putting them infront of your audience in a concise and layed back manner, so they can take away meaningful insight and workable truths. I think that what you offer is a much needed contribution of a rare qualitiy indeed; something to be cherished and appreciated.