Willingness: How to Feel your Feelings 6/30 How to Process Emotions

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  • Опубліковано 2 чер 2024
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    How to feel your feelings. Willingness provides a practical way for you to allow yourself to feel your feelings. When you let yourself experience your emotions, you can get a lot better at working through them.
    This is the one skill I wish everyone had: willingness, the ability to experience your emotions without needing to immediately escape or avoid them. Willingness is an essential skill from ACT, or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. It's a practical way to learn to allow yourself to experience what you are feeling so that you can work through it.
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    About Me:
    I’m Emma McAdam. I’m a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and I have worked in various settings of change and growth since 2004. My experience includes juvenile corrections, adventure therapy programs, wilderness therapy programs, an eating disorder treatment center, a residential treatment center, and I currently work in an outpatient therapy clinic.
    In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 930

  • @asahk7419
    @asahk7419 3 роки тому +1835

    I live in the middle east. I don't have access to high quality therapy, and can't pay for therapists abroad because of currency. You have no idea how valuable and life changing your videos are. I hope you do. You're literally helping people living in horrible situations in a very bad part of the world. Not even Bill Gates is doing that. I let all the ads play full on your videos and click on any links you put out just to help out anyway I can. Just please don't stop this. Thank you so much.

    • @SelfTaughLearner_NV
      @SelfTaughLearner_NV 3 роки тому +59

      Glad to see someone having gratitude

    • @TD-ln2tg
      @TD-ln2tg 3 роки тому +81

      You’re doing the hard work by taking care of yourself, well done fellow human 🥰

    • @SootSootSooty
      @SootSootSooty 3 роки тому +41

      Sending you positive energy and support 💛 don't give up. 🙏

    • @user-qv3yt7bz2d
      @user-qv3yt7bz2d 3 роки тому +22

      I couldn't agree more, as I am in a similar situation, trying to help my son as well as myself (since he has learned the unhealthy ways his parents avoid/push away our feelings) - Thank you so so so much for this channel and this series of videos as so many of us have never learned this invaluable set of skills that make a universe of difference in our lives ♡ thank you for your generosity, and when I can, I hope I can become a patron someday so you can continue this work for all of us without the guidance and step by step map through the extra emotions this last year has brought up ♡

    • @sandralujan1199
      @sandralujan1199 3 роки тому +19

      I hope she sees your comment 😄

  • @hritiksingh1996
    @hritiksingh1996 3 роки тому +1600

    For the people who can't afford long-term therapy, you are like a divine angel. I'm so so grateful to you. Thank you so so much!

  • @sarapocorn
    @sarapocorn 3 роки тому +614

    „Overanalysing can be another form of avoidance“ - well well, if that ain‘t me.

    • @elenagarciabroock2356
      @elenagarciabroock2356 3 роки тому +11

      Exactly the sentece that stayed with me the most!

    • @qazedc3
      @qazedc3 3 роки тому +1

      same looool.

    • @marymaher4036
      @marymaher4036 3 роки тому +1

      You said it exactly, Sara. 🙂

    • @arjanblad416
      @arjanblad416 3 роки тому +2

      Same

    • @marianemashkalo4182
      @marianemashkalo4182 3 роки тому +3

      me too! I am now trying to change a career to become an analyst:) Hope that'll channel my analyzing energy to the right place

  • @chrisalt971
    @chrisalt971 3 роки тому +759

    Personal notes/summary
    Willingness: sitting with your feelings and your current situation, tuning in and experience them fully. It does not mean you agree or like the feelings. They can be uncomfortable, but it means to be willing to sit and experience whatever it is you are feeling at the moment.
    Steps:
    1. @7:13 Describe don’t judge: describe your feelings without labeling them using words such as good, bad, great, awful, best, worst, etc. Instead, use words like uncomfortable, pleasant, tender, cold, hot, etc. (my personal note: find an emotional wheel chart to help you better describe your feelings.
    2. @8:35 Be curious: practice being curious about what you’re feeling. Describe how it feels, where do you feel it in your body, does it have a color or sound or does it change, etc. Explore while staying in your body as much as possible. This is NOT asking why you’re feeling this way or uncovering childhood roots of problems, etc (“overanalyzing can be another form of avoidance”) just describe things as they are here and now.
    3. @10:14 Instead of struggling, lean in: instead of trying to change your emotions but instead put that energy into somewhere more hopefully.
    4. @10:46 Be present: instead of focusing on how long this will last, accept it and acknowledge it as it is right now.
    5. @11:03 Get back in your body: it helps to place your hand on the part of your body where you’re feeling it, and breath in to give it space. You can notice your breathing. You can try to make your emotions worse (called “putting the kettle on”) you might realize that your feelings can be uncomfortable but they’re not gonna kill you so they lose power.
    6. @11:57 Be compassionate: ask yourself if you’re being kind to yourself. Being mean to your feelings is gonna make it worse. You can practice telling your emotions to “take as much time as they need.”
    7. @13:02 Watch out for your “stories”: things like “why me?” “I’m the only one…” and that sort of question that leads into a negative story about yourself. Exploring reasons has its time or place, but overthinking/overanalyzing is not helpful right now. Go back to feeling your feelings right now in your body.
    8. @16:50 Shift your focus to something more important to you: AFTER you acknowledge your emotion, you can scan your body for sensations like peace or calm. Put your energy into things that matter most to you. Like sitting with your kids and being present with them. When emotions come up, acknowledge them, and then put your attention back to your values. You can check video “willingly out of breath” by this same channel.
    Emotions might be uncomfortable but they don’t harm you. Trying to avoid them or trying to escape, however, can lead to behaviors that can harm you.
    @14:13 Willingness is not the same as wallowing.

    • @gerrieshapiro2147
      @gerrieshapiro2147 3 роки тому +9

      Namaste❤❤❤

    • @moorehuey
      @moorehuey 3 роки тому +8

      @@gerrieshapiro2147 really good notes G!

    • @carolwhelihan1514
      @carolwhelihan1514 3 роки тому +11

      thank you for putting these up. I am so grateful for them and for this channel.

    • @christinalozier6962
      @christinalozier6962 3 роки тому +6

      Thank you for taking the time to post this!!!

    • @user-vb3cu4me3w
      @user-vb3cu4me3w 3 роки тому +3

      Thank you so much! This is very helpful :)

  • @lauramoore8823
    @lauramoore8823 2 роки тому +107

    "you're supposed to feel your feelings" just hit me like a ton of bricks. I was taught (indirectly, mostly) from the time I was so small that my emotions were too big, too intense, too much for everyone around me, so i learned they must be too big for me as well. They may be heavy, but I'm meant to carry them.

    • @auntylinda7640
      @auntylinda7640 Рік тому +6

      Once you learn to balance the varied kinds of emotions, they reach their own balance point and won't feel heavy. Remember, we are not our emotions. All emotions pass and others ones come along. Love to you and yours xxx

    • @thehappiness2741
      @thehappiness2741 10 місяців тому +1

      ​@@auntylinda7640fully agree and those emotional balance would'nt be accessed without letting them felt ❤

    • @slavicmapper2968
      @slavicmapper2968 9 місяців тому +1

      @@auntylinda7640 so, how am i supposed to feel some emotions, i cant seem to feel sadness or empathetic for someone, but a year ago i could

  • @fembot521
    @fembot521 3 роки тому +155

    Dealing with grief right now as my husband died suddenly 9 weeks ago. I was numb but now I am feeling the emotions and I am feeling super overwhelmed. I have two small kids so navigating life right now is just super overwhelming. I am going to try this. My grief sometimes feels like a wave that is trying to completely drown me. So hard. I miss my best friend and partner.

    • @TherapyinaNutshell
      @TherapyinaNutshell  3 роки тому +42

      So sorry to hear about your loss. Let people support you and allow yourself to feel all the feelings. There are a lot of support groups and people who are willing to help if you need it-reach out.

    • @cassielee1114
      @cassielee1114 3 роки тому

      ❤️

    • @wendygraham7787
      @wendygraham7787 3 роки тому +1

      😘

    • @vibrantsource
      @vibrantsource 3 роки тому +4

      So sorry for your loss...trust your vulnerability around your children they possible could help the healing of this huge deep cavern..

    • @sshms414
      @sshms414 2 роки тому

      So sorry

  • @istp1967
    @istp1967 3 роки тому +2

    A few years ago, about 16 to be exact; this was called "Rock and Water" technique. When bad feeling come; imagine yourself as a rock on the seashore. The anxiety or depression is like a wave. Don't try to fight it; just remember that it is temporary and that YOU Will Still Be Here. So let the wave wash over you and wash or ebb away. You are the Rock and you are still here when the bad feeling goes out to sea . . .

  • @Samellon
    @Samellon 2 роки тому +136

    I’ve been struggling with over analyzing my thoughts and feelings to the point of spending hours every day fighting with my anxieties because I was convinced not doing so would be avoidance or suppressing, and I’ve been making it worse and worse. I realize now that I’ve been actually avoiding feeling the anxiety by trying so hard to understand every part of it. Thank you for explaining this and helping me start to wrap my head around what wasnt working!

    • @crystalslade8056
      @crystalslade8056 Рік тому +4

      I’m there now it’s awful

    • @mocampoli
      @mocampoli Рік тому +1

      How did you do it then? Because i feel like im doing exactly that, and if that is the wrong, then what is the right thing to do?

    • @Samellon
      @Samellon Рік тому +10

      @@mocampoli To be super clear, I'm not an expert so definitely take me with a grain of salt! But in my experience/learning this stuff through therapy, there's a difference between acknowledging and ruminating. Not everything has a why, or if it does, it's not always productive to find it. It's important to acknowledge a thought and a feeling just as it is, without trying to make it go away or resist it, because I think a lot of the suffering comes from resisting and judging those experiences (like a fear of fear sort of thing). So for me it's about finding the right balance between countering anxious thoughts with alternative thoughts, and acknowledging thoughts but not engaging. When I notice I've been trying to counter a thought over and over again in an obssessive manner, it's usually time to just let it be - acknowledging and sitting with whatever feelings it brings up while continuing to go about my day. It's a lot of trial and error though, and practice/mileage - it's definitely something I'm still working on! The essence of it is to counter the thoughts, yes, but to not use that as a way to avoid unpleasant feelings - only to tone down the ones that are enhanced by anxious thoughts/cognitive distortions. But different things work for different people, so it could be that a slightly different balance works for you! I wish you all the best!

    • @jdiaz4877
      @jdiaz4877 Рік тому

      same here

    • @lamelomane1656
      @lamelomane1656 Рік тому

      OCD is so exhausting

  • @annaalm18
    @annaalm18 Рік тому +8

    "Overthinking can be an habitual form of avoidence". This used to be me. Just that I used to think that it was a good thing to overthink...

  • @hejhajnehaj5434
    @hejhajnehaj5434 2 роки тому +40

    I love how she talks about these things in a relaxed and easy to understand manner instead of being smart and putting us who are struggling in a more deeper pit with their theories

  • @robhasenwinkle
    @robhasenwinkle 3 роки тому +28

    8:50 " Curiousity is an antidote to worry "

  • @normawigutoff9704
    @normawigutoff9704 2 роки тому +15

    Thanks! I’m a 72 year old social worker and this is right on! Thich Nhat Hanh says “embrace the pain tenderly.”

  • @konstaConstant
    @konstaConstant Рік тому +28

    My upbringing led me to believe that feeling emotions is damaging and dangerous. Feeling emotions would make me do mistakes, being too much would make my mom uncomfortable, my sister would actively use my feelings against me. Willingness is a nice way to frame the act of being present. I've already practised similar methods, but deep understanding of the self comes from multiple points of view. Thank you for the video :)

    • @Eleventyeleventh
      @Eleventyeleventh Рік тому +1

      Yeah, I can relate. This is what leads me to have what I call emotional explosions. Where I stuff things down until I can’t anymore and breathe havoc and chaos on anything and anyone in my path until the whole world burns🙂
      This video was helpful for me🤗
      I’ve learnt to give myself time to feel, describe the feelings and move on.

  • @Chilling23oc
    @Chilling23oc 3 роки тому +10

    Im going to be 100% honest. After watching this, I laid down on my bed, and I let go of all these emotions that I was trying very hard to hide and fight. I stopped judging the emotions, and simply let them take over me and accepted it. Now I didn’t exactly count how long I doing this. But I would say around 30-45 minutes. I felt like I was reborn. It opened a whole different veiw of emotions for me. And now, I see them very differently from back then.
    Thank you so much for this, you changed me. I hope nothing but success and happiness for you
    (Irrelevant fact alert: I’m 20 years old😇)

    • @faisalbi1330
      @faisalbi1330 3 роки тому +1

      Hi before you were completely numbed?

    • @lynne3989
      @lynne3989 8 місяців тому +1

      Wow, can I ask how you're doing now? I hope, better than EVER!!

  • @Lilas782
    @Lilas782 3 роки тому +200

    You're incredible Emma. I'm 17 and I have Harm ocd with existencial and suicidal obcessions, plus gad. And I've had depression in the past, it's so easy to get caught up in thoughts and feelings and get scared and apathic and melancholic and just be like "why am I feeling this way, am I supposed to?" I spend more time overanalysing than living and your videos are helping me progress, thank u so much

    • @alkimia1791
      @alkimia1791 3 роки тому +16

      It's comforting knowing someone around my age is having similar problems as me. It reminds me I'm not alone. I hope you feel better soon. Sending positive vibes your way.

    • @Lilas782
      @Lilas782 3 роки тому +12

      @@alkimia1791 Hey! This comment meant a lot. I know a lot of people have mental health issues, but knowing someone is going through the same kind as me is really comforting. Sending all good vibes to you as well, we'll make it through, some days are harder but we'll be able to grow and enjoy everything we deserve and learn from all out emotions! Btw if you ever struggle with ocd or intrusive thoughts, ali greymond's channel may be helpful as well! Hope you get better!

    • @rmtpalaw
      @rmtpalaw 3 роки тому +5

      keep going you both can make it. I believe in you. small steps. know that you are loved

    • @belindatolley
      @belindatolley 3 роки тому +3

      Blessed😇 lov u big

    • @alkimia1791
      @alkimia1791 3 роки тому +2

      @@belindatolley Thanks for the positive comments! :D

  • @JeffJackson86
    @JeffJackson86 Рік тому +31

    Thank you. I have been in therapy for 30 years, I've read around 150 self help books, yet this is the first time i have heard of the idea of Willingness.
    I was never taught how to receive my strong emotional feelings and what to do with them.
    Thank you, Jeff - your newest patreon supporter

  • @katherinelydon7306
    @katherinelydon7306 3 роки тому +91

    I end up crying a lot when sitting with my emotions. My mum died in 2017 and am just now being able to cry about it.😓 also dealing with healing from codependency

    • @paulbellas8797
      @paulbellas8797 3 роки тому +8

      I lost my dad to suicide when I was 17. I went off to college by myself and after two years of struggle hit rock bottom. It took me a solid five year to really get to the point where I felt normal again. I feel for you and wish you the best. Two things I learned, don't feel guilty about the loss (common with suicide), feel sad for a bit, and then learn to look forward. There is no future in the past and letting go so you can live is the best way forward. Take comfort in the knowlege that this is what your Mom wants for you. I still remember the day the lightbulb turned on for me when I realized I needed to move on...

    • @mirelladlima5278
      @mirelladlima5278 3 роки тому +2

      @Katherine Lydon - I guess you have to release all the emotions that are bottled up inside you and if you find yourself crying, you are just being normal and feeling the emotion of losing your loved one. Saying a heart felt prayer for her soul and thank her for the wonderful job she did by looking after you. One step to help you is start caring for yourself and set up healthy boundaries and practice saying 'No' which are some ways to get you started 🤗🙏

    • @nazila5972
      @nazila5972 3 роки тому +1

      You can overcome codependency my friend. As hard as I might look, we can do it with God’s Grace and His tender compassion for us. Reading the book, “disease to please” by Harriet Braiker has been so helpful to me: www.booktopia.com.au/the-disease-to-please-harriet-braiker/book/9780071385640.html?source=pla&gclid=CjwKCAjwwqaGBhBKEiwAMk-FtEdneFfb6fe66fL6bnx0Npa7h6GIL4AqylQK04Y-vnVcu55qkRaUsxoCCqEQAvD_BwE

    • @lenas5613
      @lenas5613 2 роки тому +1

      @@paulbellas8797 ❤❤❤

    • @katherinelydon7306
      @katherinelydon7306 2 роки тому +2

      Wow I just saw all these replies and started crying. Thank you all so much. I feel so lonely and these messages made me feel a little less so.

  • @shaggybg
    @shaggybg Рік тому +8

    I loved the visual example with the brick, holding it in one hand and stretching it out, as a metaphore for denying or fighting painful emotions, rather than keepeng them close and accepting them.
    "You are supposed to feel your feelings." - this made me realize I am indeed doing this already. Whenever I feel sad, for instance, I prefer to live it, to feel it for a day or two. You cannot imagine, after giving into the sadness, how quickly I realize the world is not over and how hard I want to be happy again. And it works for me to deal with the feeling and come up "clean" after experiencing it for some time, consciously. :)
    Steps:
    1. Describe what you are feeling.
    2. Be curious.
    3. Pull the feeling close.
    4. Be present.
    5. Place your hand on the part of the body, where you feel the emotion (expand awareness to other parts of the body and how they are, how they feel).
    6. Be compassionate (for yourself/your feeling).
    7. Watch out for "Stories" (like "why me", "what's the matter of me", ... - other overthinking thoughts). Instead - how you're feeling in your body.
    8. Shift your focus to something that's more important to you.
    Willingness - noticing yourself that you are noticing.
    Practise willingness with stretching, or wall sit.

  • @btob2212
    @btob2212 Рік тому +2

    1.Describe dont judge.
    •Use words like uncomfortable, unpleasant, painful, sensitive, tender, hot, cold, sharp, dull, warm, smooth, gentle, soft, pleasant.
    *The path to healing for mental illness is learning to move through emotions not to avoid them.*

  • @Rightsideup
    @Rightsideup Рік тому +19

    I'm a major ruminator. I've done therapy, I'm on meds, I try to reframe the thoughts, focus on other things. And I tell ya, this video has done much more for me. Thank you!

  • @Raw_Trad3r
    @Raw_Trad3r 3 роки тому +29

    There's about 1000000 channels trying to explain this stuff but you are the only one who makes it understandable

  • @ivovanderavert1269
    @ivovanderavert1269 7 місяців тому +3

    Thanks so much for your great videos.
    I have had a terrible summer. I have bipolar I and had been stable for 10 years. Early this year, I had much-needed weight loss surgery. My psychiatrist approved in the process.
    I lost weight like crazy, but my stress system got totally out of hand. I had major behavior changes and worst of all, my psychiatrist and counselor were both asleep at the wheel. They attributed my behavior to the surgery. This summer, everything got out of hand and I suffered a traumatic experience from which I am still recovering. My world feels different. Totally.
    I have spent the better part of my adult life in therapy. But because of the stress and overwhelming panic, I just could not 'reach' that part of my brain, my usual "therapeutic emergency skills". I felt blunted and blinded for months.
    Your videos helped me so much in getting back on track and rewiring myself with proper and practical techniques and approaches. Sometimes knowing "you ought to be able to deal with this, you've had therapy" can be more paralyzing than helpful. So thanks for reminding me of stuff when I needed it the most.

  • @emmadeveto4236
    @emmadeveto4236 2 роки тому +2

    You know God teaches also the same to be kind to yourself, to love yourselves and your fellow neighbor and take it easy and present your troubles to God! He is our savior!

  • @louisemarendoli8001
    @louisemarendoli8001 3 роки тому +13

    This video helped me overcome chronic back pain that I had been experiencing for years. When I willingly experienced and allowed myself to feel the emotions that I tried to suppress (this was what triggered the physical response that caused the pain) something shifted and the pain went from a 7/8 out of 10 to a 1/2 out of 10. Years of Physio and Hydrotherapy nothing and then this. Thank you so much for improving my quality of life.

  • @andresanchez3520
    @andresanchez3520 2 роки тому +31

    I can't afford therapy, I've been depressed and anxious for years, living my darkest days and watching everything around me fall apart, everything positive I build up in my life ends up crashing to the floor very quickly. Your videos have been helping me to fight off my demons and give me hope. Muchas gracias, de todo corazón.

  • @abigailtolby9479
    @abigailtolby9479 2 роки тому +5

    As I began to come here for help Jesus reminded me that he is my truest best friend and to always share and release my burdens and pain to him by simply talking to him about everything. This is how he bears and carries our heavy burdens
    Oh what a friend we have in Jesus
    All our sins and griefs he bears
    What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer.
    Oh what peace we often forfeit
    Oh what needless pain we bear
    All because we do not carry
    Everything to God in prayer.
    This song is very true.

  • @sabrinastone4580
    @sabrinastone4580 7 місяців тому +2

    So proud of myself. I felt I was on the verge of anxiety attack but was able to recognize it, identify it, voice it, take a break to allow feelings, feeling it in my body, and journal about thoughts or possible triggers. Still working on sitting in it but it was the most successful I've been so far. Thanks for all you do.

  • @lilyhakkilahagen6725
    @lilyhakkilahagen6725 Місяць тому

    Your videos have changed my life. I didn’t know how much I pushed my emotions to the side until I came across your channel. Please keep doing these!! You’re helping so many people in so many ways!

  • @RuachEden
    @RuachEden 3 роки тому +76

    This has to be one of the wisest, most helpful and compassionate videos that I have watched on the subject of living with depression, and seeking to improve your mental health. I have argued for a while now, that we really should rename it "emotional health", since it always starts down in our guts and not our heads.

    • @rickspalding3047
      @rickspalding3047 3 роки тому

      It goes both ways imo

    • @goatard3916
      @goatard3916 2 роки тому +1

      Not necessarily always, but yeah, it happens more often than we ought to currently believe. I thought I had bad anxiety/depression disorder, however 2 years ago I had a test that told me I was intolerant to dairy and gluten. That solved the problem a bit, however I still had digestive problems, and anxiety/depression too! I thought that it's my mentality that causes those physical problems, however with a certain diet (sub20 carbs/keto), I'm a lot more energetic and happy, close to 0 anxiety, digestive problems are better too. Getting gut tests done ASAP.
      Don't pay attention to people around you if they tell you "it's all in your head". It's all in your body as a whole, and your brain process almost all of that, and especially gut/digestive system.

    • @marusbrown1348
      @marusbrown1348 2 роки тому

      No

    • @RuachEden
      @RuachEden 2 роки тому

      @@marusbrown1348 ????

    • @lynne3989
      @lynne3989 8 місяців тому

      ​@@goatard3916Playing the devil's advocate here, cuz I sure as heck don't know, but there is the argument that if we're able to heal emotionally, then once there's the release of root conflicts then amazingly enough- Things like food allergies/ intolerances no longer are a problem.

  • @emilysmith2965
    @emilysmith2965 2 роки тому +9

    I feel so validated by this. With autism, my emotions trigger differently than many others’ might… but they’re still human emotions that deserve to be felt.
    Thank you for helping me to manage and function better… WITHOUT this constant insistence that I fundamentally change.

  • @julietspalding2339
    @julietspalding2339 Рік тому +1

    You make the Internet feel like a safe and beautiful plsce

  • @robertmarianomolina295
    @robertmarianomolina295 23 дні тому

    I encountered this course at the start of this year, and it helped me get through really stressful situations during this school semester. But as I felt better, I gradually forgot the things I learned and it has now came back to bite me in the ass. Finding this video again was a Godsend, I was really stressed these past few days and felt really lost. The sensations are so much worse. But now I'm relearning this course, this time with the intention to keep it with me through my entire life.

  • @AnyaReal
    @AnyaReal 3 роки тому +37

    This made me cry. I’ll just let it be. Thank you, Emma.

  • @celine3754
    @celine3754 3 роки тому +13

    Great video!!
    Here are my notes (in French) for anyone that might need it :
    - Décrire l'émotion sans la juger
    - Etre curieux. Bonjour anxiété, as tu quelquechose as dire ? Ou est ce que je ressens ça ? Qu'est ce que je ressens ? Rester dans le corps. Ne pas analyser.
    - Etre présent. Je suis ici maintenant dans ce qui est.
    - Etre bienveillant et empathique. Prends autant de temps dont tu as besoin
    - Faire attention à nos "histoires", nos pensées. Elles peuvent être éxagérées. Retourner au corps.
    Les émotions ne font pas de mal. Elles peuvent être inconfortables mais ne peuvent pas faire du mal. Ce sont les pensées et vouloir éviter les émotions qui peuvent faire du mal.
    - Déplacer la concentration sur quelque chose qui as plus d'importance. Par exemple, la paix, être une bonne maman, être une bonne personne ...

  • @PeppermintCactus
    @PeppermintCactus 23 дні тому +1

    I honestly can’t thank you enough, I’ve never been able to really work on myself until now. Your videos have absolutely opened my eyes and given me the tools to help myself.
    Someone told me they feel safe with me the other day. Today someone told me they could see just how compassionate I am with clients at work.
    Thank you, again. I saved my own life, but you handed me the tools that helped me do it, and I am so grateful for that.

  • @dianndp4957
    @dianndp4957 Рік тому

    Suicide it's not caused by emotions, but by the desperate need to escape them.
    The realisation hit me so hard

  • @-livi-2181
    @-livi-2181 3 роки тому +25

    I love this! I have been recovering from a panic disorder that happened last summer. Accepting all the sensations and feelings has been what has helped me recover. The therapist I saw for it at the beginning just wanted to give me medication. I had to find the way out by myself. I wish more therapists were as good as you are.

    • @elenora67
      @elenora67 2 роки тому

      Hi! How are you doing now? We’re you able to overcome the panic attacks and if so how?

  • @bonniezelman5466
    @bonniezelman5466 3 роки тому +21

    Your videos are a true gift of generosity... thank you🙏

  • @Mushroom321-
    @Mushroom321- Рік тому +1

    " stop putting energy into pushing feeling away " instead " this is the feeling rigt now " .. YES!!!, THANK YOU FOR making this video..

  • @messengerescape
    @messengerescape 5 місяців тому +1

    I was really suprised to see you mention the "I AM". The more I learn and study; the more I see the overlap of spiritual and psychological teachings, and the intertwine between physical and spiritual. To know yourself, is to know God. ❤

  • @gregorslonaker8694
    @gregorslonaker8694 2 роки тому +7

    When I’m having a panic attack I watch this video. It makes the passage of time seem less stressful. I can’t wait to explore this channel more. This is a gem to me, and has been over the last 2 weeks. TY!

  • @jericesguerra5653
    @jericesguerra5653 3 роки тому +14

    Hi. I just want to comment and say that I appreciate your work. May the Lord bless you more.

  • @brando3023
    @brando3023 3 місяці тому

    I had severe anxiety and panic attacks last week, since I came across your channel I haven't had one attack, I no longer stress all day and my anxiety is 90% gone. I think of it as" I don't have anxiety, it's all me". I gained that concept from watching your video: Reframing Your Negative Thoughts ". I can't tell you how you've been helpful. I love you. God bless you and your family❤ ❤❤

  • @MsSamroyal
    @MsSamroyal 7 місяців тому +1

    Ugh this. Thank you so much! This really was simple, bullet points, and people always say to feel your emotions but never give literal of what that looks like. Thank you!! I’ll be working on this

  • @tiffanywilliams2863
    @tiffanywilliams2863 3 роки тому +7

    When you said to "stop forcing your feelings change"... whew girl!! That statement was powerful and changed me..

  • @lilouwaigl3976
    @lilouwaigl3976 3 роки тому +19

    you are an angel for putting this online for free and making this accessible for so many people!!! You have helped me so much

  • @UkeMe
    @UkeMe Рік тому +1

    I feel like you've saved my life.

  • @vintorez9145
    @vintorez9145 Рік тому

    14:56 I'd like to add that from my experience, 'being suicidal' is not a feeling. I am not able to scan my body and say: ah yes, that is the suicidal feeling. In my experience, there are suicidal thoughts. This difference might make it easier for people struggling with this, for thoughts need not to be taken seriously.
    Much love from some one that used to struggle with these kinds of thoughts, but now has learned to not take them so seriously. Every body can learn this skill, yes, even you!

  • @ericsteinberg9101
    @ericsteinberg9101 3 роки тому +18

    Living in ontario, with my income fluctuating due to covid related work shutdowns. I have been seeking help but it's been sporadic due to finances. Your channel has been an IMMENSE help, really, truly. Thank you for your work, and I will share your channel with everyone I can as there are a lot of people in Ontario in the same boat as me.
    Thank you!

  • @mikek4025
    @mikek4025 3 роки тому +55

    This is a brilliant video and channel. Wait times for any sort of therapy are very long in my country. Great resource

    • @atticusosullivan9332
      @atticusosullivan9332 3 роки тому +2

      Yeah it can be very frustrating waiting for help. This channel is amazing

    • @chrisalt971
      @chrisalt971 3 роки тому

      May I ask what country is that?

    • @mikek4025
      @mikek4025 3 роки тому +1

      @@chrisalt971 UK, I’ve been on a waiting list for I think has been more than 20 months, I understand thought things are tough

    • @salvadoran_uwu
      @salvadoran_uwu 3 роки тому +1

      @@chrisalt971 El Salvador is one of those.

    • @RyllisPhuth
      @RyllisPhuth 3 роки тому +1

      That's an incredibly long wait Mike! Are there any organisations that offer counselling / therapy in your area? They will often have much shorter waiting lists than NHS services, an internet search will bring up what is available local to you.

  • @suprmeee-
    @suprmeee- 6 місяців тому +1

    I have liked this girl for at least a year now and my cousin knows i do. He started to talk to her more than me and she started to like him. He asked her out and she said yes. I’ve felt so bad. I feel so lonely since i have just helped my other friend get a girlfriend. I just start to feel depressed overall. I hope i’ll feel better eventually but my heart feels like i just lost 2 of the people i love.

  • @s.friedrich3883
    @s.friedrich3883 3 роки тому +2

    I'm struggling with depression and anxiety for many years now and I went through many hard times in my life. I did several therapies (and currently do), but I never had the feeling that it was really helpful for me. Approx. five years ago I started my journey into bhuddism, meditating, mindfulness etc. The wisdom of people like Thich Nhat Anh, Mooji, Eckart Tolle, the Dalai Lama and watching your videos help me a lot to understand all my struggles so much better. I want to thank you for your commitment and sharing your knowledge with us. Namaste and kind regards from Berlin, Germany.

  • @jacquelinemcdowall5369
    @jacquelinemcdowall5369 Рік тому +7

    Love this i have avoided my feelings for years and i suffer from a lot of tension and grinding and clenching and fatigue. Im going to practice willingness. I can see now holding them back has affected my health. Thank you so much.❤ x

  • @alvinagisborne3747
    @alvinagisborne3747 3 роки тому +24

    Wow What a skill you have My therapist is trying to teach me this but you have the words to make it understandable for me. What are you feeding: the all encompassing anxiety or shift to the good stuff you want. Say hi to the emotion and acknowledge. Amazing You have a gift and thank you for sharing. May our heavenly Father bless you.
    Thank you

  • @orvilleredenpiller338
    @orvilleredenpiller338 Рік тому +1

    😢 This made me realize that the best way to describe some of my past experiences is “I thought I was willing to feel whatever would come along, but it was so much worse than I could have imagined.”

  • @francisturney2938
    @francisturney2938 2 роки тому

    "The path to healing from mental illness is learning how to move through emotions, not to avoid them." Bold statement

  • @rimplesembhi
    @rimplesembhi 3 роки тому +4

    This video is a clear sign from the Universe. We just had a really uncomfortable argument in the family and as much as I tried to keep my emotions in check & sort the argument out; I failed.
    Was starting to spiral down to usual negative pattern of overthinking but luckily I grabbed my phone & stumbled upon your video, without even trying. I am ever so grateful that I found you. I am going to watch more videos & learn. Thank you so much for the great and divine work you are doing🙏

  • @krm6029
    @krm6029 3 роки тому +14

    Spanish was my first language now I struggle just having basic conversations. Use it or loose it

  • @ozlemylmaz8822
    @ozlemylmaz8822 Рік тому +2

    the fact that she literally sticked "sadness" on to a brick and showed us to exemplify it. You are amazing :)

  • @TheAaronJP
    @TheAaronJP 2 роки тому

    Emotions that are felt will melt. Emotions we resist will persist.

  • @dd-ts6ok
    @dd-ts6ok 3 роки тому +35

    Thank you, Emma. Over these past 4 weeks, I watched many many of your videos. You and your videos may well have saved my life, at least they made it a lot easier for me to be alive. Thank you.

  • @noahxcuse
    @noahxcuse 2 роки тому +7

    My heart stopped a few nights ago, and I've been a wreck ever since. This video really helped me come to terms with what I'm feeling about it, thank you SO much. ❤️

    • @auntylinda7640
      @auntylinda7640 Рік тому +1

      All our hearts will stop at some point, my friend. We all go on 💜👼💜💜

  • @kerstinfontaine7941
    @kerstinfontaine7941 25 днів тому

    Thank you for this amazing video! I seriously appreciate it. I am in recovery, and I struggle with Willingness and Acceptance. A practical approach is something that works well for me. Thank you, sincerely. 🙏❤️

  • @nik.kinetikentertainment2298
    @nik.kinetikentertainment2298 Рік тому +1

    I like the idea of practicing this skill by doing wall sits. 🙃

  • @rawrsalot
    @rawrsalot 3 роки тому +13

    I just want to say thank you so much for your videos. I've been suffering very severe panic attacks that leave me very sick and are debilitating.
    You're so calming and your videos are easy to follow even in a bad mental state. So far they have helped me calm down a lot and I'm taking your free ptsd grounding course on your websight. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

  • @illestbabygirl
    @illestbabygirl 3 роки тому +24

    Omg this video came like right on time. I was literally struggling on dealing with a range of painful emotions a few days ago that came unexpectedly after feeling hurt and betrayed and I was in the moment not knowing what to do. I wanted to suppress it so bad and act like I wasn't hurt or feeling these emotions because its been a long time since I've broken down and cried and I thought if I did then it would "ruin" my progress and how far I've changed. In the moment, I was rushing to looking up a bunch of things hoping I'd find something fast, but I just couldn't concentrate since I was already anxious and still feeling crushed. and I had trouble trying to sleep that night. I do feel much better now and I'm so glad that I decided to process it and let myself feel all my emotions in the moment it was happening.
    It would be really beneficial if I continue to learn ways to deal with these emotions in a healthy manner and to get a better understanding in related topics. Just in case I have to deal with a similar experience again, I would like to be prepared.

  • @jk9zk
    @jk9zk 14 днів тому

    Wow, this was great, I was really feeling stuff and thinking about stuffing my face. While watching this video I felt like you were there with me but I realize it was me sitting with myself and my feelings. Then they dissipated. Thank you. I am willing.

  • @brendalazzarotto4275
    @brendalazzarotto4275 Рік тому +1

    These videos are so so helpful. But I have a hard time with the "emotions won't harm me" does anyone else feel actual pain? Sometimes it hurts so much that it feels like I'll die from it (the sadness, when I'm in crisis).That's why people have to escape their emotions through suicide isn't it? Because it's unbearable. But, I know for a fact that it won't kill me, it's just a fear. However, it's important to develop more resistance to emotional pain. But when we're depressed it's like we have no skin and exposed directly to the sun sometimes. It's my first time having it and the medication helps - but I'll definitely need to practice feelings. Thank you for your content, it's truly amazing.

  • @fernandasalinas272
    @fernandasalinas272 3 роки тому +16

    Regresemos al vídeo! Vamos! Good job! Your pronunciation is so good!!! Estoy esperando que hagas videos en español. You can do it!!!! Greetings from Argentina..

  • @staylor8847
    @staylor8847 3 роки тому +4

    Thank you for thos one! People keep pushing me to be ok and move on, and I'm not. This just allows me to be able to have the freedom of my own life and sit down with my grief.

  • @ItsMe-gw4kb
    @ItsMe-gw4kb 2 роки тому +1

    I watch and rewatch these for two reasons. The first reason is that I need to hear them. The second reason is that sometimes I tend to listen more to the soothing tone of her voice than what she is saying. Very relaxing.

  • @Aaleayha
    @Aaleayha Рік тому +2

    First, I do have to thank you for posting these videos. I am utterly thrilled to have found these. I'm currently between therapists right now due to her change in vocation. She recommended videos of CBT/DBT and things like this to help me get through the challenging months ahead. And so far most of them have been amazing in helping. These videos, too, have been really informative. And I cannot wait to go through more. Because my depression, anxiety, and PTSD really do need to be better processed. Dealing with emotions like grief, the pain of abuse, trauma and the emotions that go with that will make my life so much easier. I'm writing everything I can down in a notebook so I can practice again in the future.
    However, I cannot entirely stand by THIS particular video. Had I stayed with my previous doctors and forever focused on my "chronic pain" as an emotional thing... I'd still be suffering so much worse because there were actual root causes to my symptoms- that are still being found and resolved 12 years later. Unfortunantly due to medical trauma and neglect, I've had to skip this video.

  • @Optimisticdumpsterfire
    @Optimisticdumpsterfire 2 роки тому +4

    This was exactly what I needed today. God bless you! 🙏

  • @USER-cn6uo
    @USER-cn6uo 3 роки тому +3

    It’s really amazing that this showed up in my feed today of all days. Wasn’t a subscriber before today. This just showed up and the timing is amazing.

  • @kevinhermi9861
    @kevinhermi9861 3 роки тому

    I'll never understand how celbrities with millions just sit at home and refuse to really make a difference and your here Just helping thousands get through life

  • @strngenchantedgirl
    @strngenchantedgirl Рік тому

    I can’t help but be distracted in this lesson with a reminder of how absolutely traumatic the Mormon mission experience is. Not only being separated from your family for 1-2 years but also not being able to contact them at all. And the shame of failing your mission if you can’t endure the separation and isolation of the mission experience. My heart goes out to this mother. And I’m reminded of the religious trauma of 2 of my family members with their mission experience.

  • @chopper84a
    @chopper84a 3 роки тому +5

    The difference between the coward and the hero isn't that the hero feels less fear, but that she feels the same fear, and chooses to respond to it differently. Likewise, the difference between the anxious, depressed person and the healthy person isn't that the anxious person feels more fear, or sadness, but that she feels the same fear and sadness but chooses to react to it differently.

    • @TherapyinaNutshell
      @TherapyinaNutshell  3 роки тому +5

      I really do think that when we stop struggling against anxiety and instead choose the action we want to focus on, that is one of the most powerful things we can do to fight anxiety and live a good life.

    • @Growndweller
      @Growndweller 3 роки тому

      @@TherapyinaNutshell I think in order to do this, a certain measure of humility is required. Some of us (like me) don't like to be held under negative emotions because it feels a lot like being a slave. So pride stands in the way of our freedom.

  • @mayraluque6291
    @mayraluque6291 3 роки тому +4

    Thank you for what you are doing may God bless you

  • @Musthafamum
    @Musthafamum 2 роки тому

    Simply put you are neither running in to emotions nor running away from it. You simply run in the direction you want. When you hit with a emotion, you acknowledge the emotion, you don't push away emotion. Take your time, then you continue towards your direction again.

  • @superpoodlehead
    @superpoodlehead 2 місяці тому

    You are amazing! 🙏🏼

  • @lotuslo4066
    @lotuslo4066 3 роки тому +7

    You are a blessing. Thank you for all that you do!!!! I have struggled with anxiety my whole life and you help me navigate my feelings instead of feeling shame, and overanalyzing.

  • @charikloangel33
    @charikloangel33 3 роки тому +5

    You are one of my favourite people on UA-cam. I wish I could have accessed all this information 10 years ago when I was really struggling with depression and anxiety, but your advice is so helpful to me now. Thank you for all you do

  • @CDAL0
    @CDAL0 3 роки тому

    Great video Emma, Thank you!

  • @RedBroski
    @RedBroski 3 роки тому +1

    This playlist has been more helpful than my hospital's terrible mental health program. I suffer from chronic illness, including heart rhythm problems called SVT. Sometimes my heart will race as high as 190BPM for no reason, it's like an intense panic attack without the panic, but the "why me" and "this shouldnt be happening" and "what if I die this time" can turn it into a horrible experience. Im usually good at sitting with the discomfort and waiting for it to pass. Same goes with days when I am severely fatigued or having migraines. Complaining and catastrophizing just makes it worse than just sitting with it until it naturally passes.
    But these videos are teaching me so much more than I could ever know, and I truly believe they will help to heal my mind and encourage patience and willingness as I heal physically.

  • @eldoretsykes
    @eldoretsykes 3 роки тому +3

    Thanks so much. This is such a practical verbalized way of handling stress, trauma etc. The most meaningful video for me yet!!

  • @jaynedenny7759
    @jaynedenny7759 2 роки тому +4

    You definitely are remarkable. Very calming. Incredibly helpful. God bless you for sharing this vital information. 🥰🌻 I'm in trauma therapy but there's so much to process. This is the perfect complement.

  • @scottallen8632
    @scottallen8632 2 роки тому

    Love this series of videos! So well done.

  • @kimmyzack4626
    @kimmyzack4626 3 роки тому

    Im wishing everyone here heal from what they suffer from.

  • @natalial3213
    @natalial3213 3 роки тому +7

    This helped me tremendously. I didn't know I had lingering unprocessed emotions after my father's death that gave me intense anxiety. I faced them and I feel so much better.

  • @yootoob1001001
    @yootoob1001001 Рік тому +5

    I love that you touched on suicidal feelings in connection with wanting to escape strong emotions/pain. It's really important to talk about and what we are really seeking when our minds go in that direction. I also shared this video with a friend I thought could use some food for thought. I appreciate your channel! Thank you.

    • @Monipenny1000
      @Monipenny1000 Рік тому

      Same here because until she said this, I had no idea why I was wanting to die a month ago during my emotionally intense breakdown/rage I had at my husband. I didn't know what was happening, first time I ever experienced it. I now know that I had suppressed my anger and tears most of my life until I started therapy 5 months ago. Talking about my many years of abuses caused too much of my unregulated emotions to fly out of me. This "explosive" thing that Emma mentioned a couple videos back saying, "suppressing emotions can lead to explosion". I wasn't suicidal before but this breakdown with suicidal phrase "I'll take that bullet now", I said that at least 3 times during this, it scared me. I can attest from my personal experience what Emma said, 1. suppressed emotions can lead to explosion and 2. suicidal ideation/action comes from wanting to end your intense emotions. The really sad thing is, my brother committed suicide when he was 16 years old.

  • @claudettesechler149
    @claudettesechler149 3 роки тому

    Just fabulous. Thank you

  • @Mushroom321-
    @Mushroom321- Рік тому

    #3., be compassionate " w/ self..
    Example of being compassionate is choosing to take a nap, when my mind / body can feel overwhelmed..
    😼👏🏻👏🏻

  • @indigoblue4791
    @indigoblue4791 3 роки тому +8

    How have l missed this series and the notifications. That makes me 😢 sad I could have started them must sooner!!
    That's why it's a good idea to check in on your favorite channels now and then, see what's new that you mightn't know about!!!

  • @JohnM...
    @JohnM... 3 роки тому +9

    God, yes!
    I've started doing this recently - doing 3 important things to get me out of a life-long frame of mind of victimhood and putting myself down.
    I have started using 3 things, that are starting to prove to me that I actually CAN do certain things.
    3 things:
    1. Willingness
    2. Decisiveness (not dithering and being brave enough to take the plunge)
    3. Taking responsibility and making myself accountable.
    (edit: Babbel doesn't appear to have Chinese, which I've just started to learn)

  • @bobbylincoln7869
    @bobbylincoln7869 3 роки тому

    Thank you Emma you just made my day

  • @Pielobyte
    @Pielobyte 5 місяців тому

    I am accepting the fact that my desires for a relationship did not align with the reality at hand
    I’m disappointed but I accept that I have a lot of growing to do

  • @JuliaJayATOP
    @JuliaJayATOP 3 роки тому +3

    Never thought of willingness never...it’s amazing...to just be willing and walk them through 🙏🏼😇🕯thank you your amazing 🤩

  • @Ihathnotscene
    @Ihathnotscene 3 роки тому +4

    So beautiful! These are the reasons why I love the Rosary! It's about embracing the emotions and thinking through them, using them to live abundantly!

  • @deborahmeyers551
    @deborahmeyers551 Місяць тому

    Thank you so much 💓

  • @Mint-nt6ly
    @Mint-nt6ly 2 місяці тому

    Such a blessing! Thank you a million