Skyrim - 5 Failed Villains

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2 тис.

  • @Graenolf
    @Graenolf  6 років тому +928

    Happy New Year!

    • @gettothelantern7852
      @gettothelantern7852 6 років тому +1

      Graenolf Sorry I know its probably been mentioned a hundred times before but what armor mod did you use in the video? 😅

    • @xheatproofspy7011
      @xheatproofspy7011 6 років тому

      Graenolf aye lad

    • @chadthundercock1063
      @chadthundercock1063 6 років тому +1

      Graenolf mad video, love the Rp/narration at the same time!

    • @tiffanywildenhain9005
      @tiffanywildenhain9005 6 років тому +2

      You deserve to have over a million subscribers for the amazing videos you make (:

    • @marconelly2641
      @marconelly2641 6 років тому

      Damn I hope I won't fail this hard when I try to do that good ol' world domination thing.

  • @PKMNtrainerOrange
    @PKMNtrainerOrange 6 років тому +4346

    I was a failed villian. Despite being both a thief and an assassin I ended up saving the world... *sigh*

    • @ProjjectDelta.
      @ProjjectDelta. 6 років тому +191

      PKMNtrainerOrange I know that feeling...just once Id like to destroy the world...but in my foolish quest to take over the Lord of Dragons I killed him...

    • @clonetrooper2355
      @clonetrooper2355 6 років тому +188

      Simple solution friend!
      You can save the world so you can terrorize it more

    • @generalgrievous6714
      @generalgrievous6714 6 років тому +10

      PKMNtrainerOrange what Skyrim fan wasnt

    • @theamazingsnake5386
      @theamazingsnake5386 6 років тому +11

      In skyrim I still have a bounty in one of the northwest city's ._.'

    • @kevinthethiccboi7199
      @kevinthethiccboi7199 6 років тому +83

      *KILLS EVERYONE IN WHITERUN*
      "next on the the to do list is... save the world"

  • @SpencerHarberts
    @SpencerHarberts 6 років тому +2566

    "I don't claim to be the greatest smith in Whiterun, Eorland Graymane holds that honor." >What do you have for sale? "The finest weapons and armor."

    • @Graenolf
      @Graenolf  6 років тому +260

      lol

    • @meepmeep9267
      @meepmeep9267 6 років тому +14

      Lol

    • @suomilaava371
      @suomilaava371 6 років тому +49

      Maybay she means Eorland made them and she just sells them ;) or something

    • @SpencerHarberts
      @SpencerHarberts 6 років тому +18

      hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm,
      can't deny that ;)

    • @pingaspearce9403
      @pingaspearce9403 6 років тому +19

      SuomiLaava eorulnd makes sky forge steel for the companions only tho.
      and she also has a shop she works in

  • @dooter4941
    @dooter4941 5 років тому +1242

    Number 1
    *alduin*
    No seriously he literally saves the dragonborn from getting their head chopped off and ends up dying to the dragonborn

    • @snowflakeserpert6834
      @snowflakeserpert6834 5 років тому +35

      My main is friends with Alduin and basically just wooshed him away is a way that looks like he's dying

    • @slayerjohn447
      @slayerjohn447 5 років тому +3

      @@snowflakeserpert6834 How are you friends with him? Mod?

    • @snowflakeserpert6834
      @snowflakeserpert6834 5 років тому +64

      @@slayerjohn447 No, basically I make fanfics in my head and press them on the game and pretend that that's how the game is.

    • @snowflakeserpert6834
      @snowflakeserpert6834 5 років тому +28

      @@slayerjohn447 I wish there was a mod for that though.

    • @slayerjohn447
      @slayerjohn447 5 років тому +25

      @@snowflakeserpert6834 I knew there was one for Miraak to make a follower by using the Bend Will shout on him in the boss fight against him. Didn't know if someone was crazy enough to try it for Alduin. Now I'm sad.

  • @92.991kerrmsahsjs.-_irowkw
    @92.991kerrmsahsjs.-_irowkw 5 років тому +600

    I don’t understand how Valmir thinks The Dragonborn who just killed a level 50 dragon priest is going to be defeated by some guy from the Thalmor.

    • @wrathguy
      @wrathguy 5 років тому +60

      Poor decision making. And then the Thalmor call themselves superior

    •  4 роки тому

      @Zxylo 5 id disagree with you if it wasn't for the fact that the thalmor managed to convince the Empire to a cease fire and even work together while they rebuild their army while they also start a civil war to weaken the Empire
      If the imperials are actually that dumb then the thalmor definitely are superior

    • @AmadisLFE
      @AmadisLFE 3 роки тому +11

      @Grim reaper they've got forests shoved up their ass.

  • @btsarmyfangirl123
    @btsarmyfangirl123 6 років тому +710

    My mom was watching me when I saw arvel the swift. And she was like "don't cut him down. He's not a good person" then I cut him down and he leaves. And she screams out "I TOLD YOU' and then faendal killed him

    • @avalondavis806
      @avalondavis806 5 років тому +76

      Your mom is a gamer? Do you wanna switch lives with me, my mom sucks.

    • @SharkByteOfficial
      @SharkByteOfficial 5 років тому +77

      If my mom watched me play she'd ask why my character had such big titties (o_Y_o)

    • @tessathomas1297
      @tessathomas1297 5 років тому +143

      @@SharkByteOfficial my mom asked why I was killing a dragon. Apparantly its "very rude" to do so. (The dragon I was fighting was alduin)

    • @harper6665
      @harper6665 5 років тому +32

      My mom would literally ask about *EVERYTHING*

    • @DylanBegazo
      @DylanBegazo 5 років тому +6

      Tessa Thomas That sounds so familiar.

  • @atticuschea8985
    @atticuschea8985 6 років тому +428

    Ulfr the Blind was the best gatekeeper.....it doesn’t matter if your sneak skill is 100....he will still detect you....he might be blind but he was way better than most guards in skyrim

    • @StacieMMeier
      @StacieMMeier 6 років тому +61

      In this Bethesda knew what they were doing with this Character. Most blind people can hear very well. To understand this, try closing your eyes for a few minutes in a silent part of your home. After a time, you may start hearing and detecting noises better. Ulfr may not be able to see you, though he can hear and smell you. BTW, if you are a high enough level character, he shall flee instead and warn the others if you tell him..."And you're next"

    • @windhelmguard5295
      @windhelmguard5295 6 років тому +22

      conspiricy theory:
      ulfr is actually a falmer in disguise.

    • @NoForksGiven
      @NoForksGiven 6 років тому +4

      From what I've seen (always doing that dungeon early on for Ironhand's Guantlets) he'll run away and call for help no matter your level.

  • @claytonweyl4135
    @claytonweyl4135 6 років тому +1841

    "We take this fight... TO THE TREE BRIDGE!"

    • @sheepy6986
      @sheepy6986 6 років тому +12

      ...not a good idea

    • @pilsburydogg
      @pilsburydogg 6 років тому +52

      I fucking died when he yelled that shit

    • @heidilindsey-hall5182
      @heidilindsey-hall5182 6 років тому +9

      priceless

    • @heretyk_1337
      @heretyk_1337 6 років тому +9

      I am more interested in what armor he had on him, while he yelled that...

    • @Rampala
      @Rampala 6 років тому +5

      Follow me up the mountain, please.

  • @chesterstevens8870
    @chesterstevens8870 6 років тому +455

    "Alright, hand over your valuables or I'll gut you like a fish!"
    *Looks down at my full set of enchanted, legendary-crafted Nordic carved armor, My twin-enchanted dragonbone sword, and my two storm thralls.*
    Me: "Bruh."

    • @titanexprime4970
      @titanexprime4970 5 років тому +48

      Then there's the thief with his 0 armor rating novice hood, some low level leather armor, some casual hide bracers and boots alongside his petty 5 damage iron dagger.

    • @nightmarefanatic1819
      @nightmarefanatic1819 5 років тому +29

      Or decked out in legendary level Daedric armor and all Daedric weapons, everything having 2-3 effects on them to make me take very little damage while being able to kill you in one hit, and then you get the inevitable "You don't look so tough."

    • @chummyweevil3948
      @chummyweevil3948 4 роки тому +8

      Me in my halo armor mod

    • @MyNameIsBucket
      @MyNameIsBucket 4 роки тому +3

      Nice try but you don't scare me.

    • @xandercat6948
      @xandercat6948 4 роки тому +3

      Damn thats a lot of stuff to lose

  • @RevPVP
    @RevPVP 6 років тому +408

    "You didn't kiss him on the head like Rodulf always does." LOL

  • @jowildcat40
    @jowildcat40 6 років тому +296

    My Ulfr the blind moment was just nice when I stumbled upon him:
    -see a bandit sitting on a chair
    -shoot an arrow through his throat instakill
    -go over to see what he was reading, "huh, I think my game froze..."
    -turns pages, "oh, there's just no words"
    -looks at title and author, "huh, this author didn't write anything."
    -looks at bandit to loot and realizes it's the author, "oh... Oh that explains a lot, now I feel bad about killing this guy, lol"
    -console commands 'resurrect'

    • @Graenolf
      @Graenolf  6 років тому +28

      lol

    • @Jellyfishbrainz
      @Jellyfishbrainz 5 років тому +22

      My head cannon is the book is in Braille

    • @ShigaDabii
      @ShigaDabii 4 роки тому +6

      Honestly, if you killed everyone in there he might have died by himself anyway. Poor dude can't see, how's he gonna survive?
      Oooooh right he has super hearing nvm

  • @kiptheott
    @kiptheott 6 років тому +356

    What about Rochelle the Red? She kidnaps your family if you have the Hearthfire expansion and fulfill certain requirements (you're married, own a house from hearthfire and don't have a housecarl guarding it). Just to reiterate, she kidnaps the Dragonborn's family. She hears about an incredibly skilled and experienced warrior/assassin/mage who devours the souls of dragons and thinks, "Y'know what sounds like a smart idea? Provoking that person." The especially funny thing is that if you free your spouse before engaging Rochell, and you're married to someone who's competent in a fight, your spouse can often take out all the bandits solo.

    • @FletcherCat
      @FletcherCat 6 років тому +74

      G. D. D. I've played Skyrim for way too long.. And I still didnt know about this..

    • @PassTheMarmalade1957
      @PassTheMarmalade1957 6 років тому +96

      I was married to Marcurio when this happened. Badass, face-melting mage Marcurio....
      The bandits crippled him.
      Some kind of glitch caused him to always walk wonky after I rescued him, so he couldn't aim a spell or swing a sword anymore. Nothing I tried fixed it, so I was forced to retire him as a follower. He spent the rest of his days walking backwards around Lakeview Manor.

    • @Graenolf
      @Graenolf  6 років тому +46

      Wonderful addition, thank you. ^

    • @crimsonice4077
      @crimsonice4077 6 років тому +8

      I had no idea about this and I'm level 60!

    • @MyH3ntaiGirl
      @MyH3ntaiGirl 6 років тому +10

      G. D. D. fuck hearthfire dlc
      All of the house are bloody dangerous

  • @lavendermoonart7036
    @lavendermoonart7036 6 років тому +322

    "We'll take this..TO THE TREE BRIDGE."
    i laughed so hard at that and I have no idea why

  • @francescofulghieri9608
    @francescofulghieri9608 6 років тому +303

    One time my brother was going to a Forsworn camp and they didn’t do anything, they just sat at the tables eating, my brother walked up to them and they were saying “THE REACH BELONGS TO THE FORSWORN!” While just chilling and sitting.

    • @ringostingo5892
      @ringostingo5892 5 років тому +48

      Brings a whole new meaning to "casual racism"

    • @themazesystem5392
      @themazesystem5392 5 років тому +3

      La Levesque jes the reach belongd to the forsworn Why fight?

    • @AGoatDemon98
      @AGoatDemon98 5 років тому +1

      @Bill Overbeck For me it was only Druadach Redoubt

    • @maindrag1904
      @maindrag1904 5 років тому +3

      Then he is one

    • @Sidious66
      @Sidious66 5 років тому +2

      Yeah I killed that dude calling himself a king. If anything I should be king wtf.

  • @princessbinas
    @princessbinas 5 років тому +265

    You forgot the chicken necromancer. You know, the guy who wants to conquer Tamriel with an army of undead chickens.

    • @joshtatko4806
      @joshtatko4806 4 роки тому +36

      But he didn't fail. He'll be back. Oh, he'll be back...

    • @bella.beaarrr
      @bella.beaarrr 4 роки тому +9

      wait what

    • @LuckySketches
      @LuckySketches 3 роки тому +20

      Or the guy that wanted to take over Tamriel with like 6 slightly stronger than usual skeevers.

    • @ExodusGold
      @ExodusGold 3 роки тому +1

      Wait what?

    • @darth-severus
      @darth-severus 3 роки тому +2

      Hold up the what? How and where do i meet this man?

  • @zealous4665
    @zealous4665 5 років тому +264

    Me: Saves the world
    Also me: Shoots Auriel's Bow at the sun and plunges the world into eternal darkness.

    • @sebastiansmith7336
      @sebastiansmith7336 4 роки тому +8

      *24 hour darkness

    • @abitoflame5343
      @abitoflame5343 4 роки тому +2

      @@sebastiansmith7336 in-lore it's Forever

    • @sebastiansmith7336
      @sebastiansmith7336 4 роки тому +12

      A Bit of lame actually it’s not. Harkon recognizes that. That’s why he says “my daughter Serena, I wish we could’ve done this together”. Before he attacks and begins the boss battle. Serena could supply him with an unlimited supply of arrows without him having to go through the displeasure of using his own blood.

    • @abitoflame5343
      @abitoflame5343 4 роки тому +1

      @@sebastiansmith7336 it could not be only 24 hours. The elf wants to stop akatosh's influence in world by the darkness.
      It would make no sense having to kill serana and then the sun comes again.
      How would he be able to achieve his vengeance if only Works once?

    • @abitoflame5343
      @abitoflame5343 4 роки тому +1

      @@sebastiansmith7336 i know he made a part of the profecy to bring serana to him, but just one day in lore wouldn't make sense at all

  • @FaunaFable
    @FaunaFable 6 років тому +82

    "I was in the middle of swallowing a furball when I told him I was a NORD."
    This guy is hilarious

  • @bimlauyomashitobi421
    @bimlauyomashitobi421 6 років тому +270

    "And to think that it was his good friend Rodulf who killed him in the end"
    such a small yet perfect line, great writing

    • @tanith117
      @tanith117 6 років тому +5

      And then the brick joke at the very end.
      Perfection.

    • @warriorguydudething
      @warriorguydudething 6 років тому +2

      USS Prinz Eugen it all comes around

    • @nikayalohr9707
      @nikayalohr9707 6 років тому +2

      My favorite line of this video "I was in the middle of swallowing a hairball when I told him I was a Nord."

  • @hypotheticalquestionasker3822
    @hypotheticalquestionasker3822 6 років тому +167

    Ulfr is reading the Book of Fate. It's blank, so he thought he was blind, when in reality, the Dragonborn was soon to end his life.

  • @MasterKcoop
    @MasterKcoop 5 років тому +152

    All these years later and I still haven’t fully explored Skyrim.

    • @pignatedoink9718
      @pignatedoink9718 5 років тому +11

      That is not something which can be done in one lifetime

    • @randomfactsthatdontmatter3466
      @randomfactsthatdontmatter3466 5 років тому +4

      @@pignatedoink9718 indeed

    • @mettatonneo1147
      @mettatonneo1147 4 роки тому +1

      MasterKcoop Same

    • @lemarjames9546
      @lemarjames9546 4 роки тому +4

      Pignated oink yea fr😂 I have been playing Skyrim on and off since 2011 and there is still new caves and quests I never played

    • @trxlord09
      @trxlord09 4 роки тому

      Me too

  • @JarNO_WAY
    @JarNO_WAY 5 років тому +38

    First time I played skyrim and entered bleak falls I got killed by the spike door and I was just sitting there, speechless, realising old tombs have traps.

  • @rlewis36
    @rlewis36 6 років тому +156

    The first time I encountered the tree bridge, the bandit actually completely surprised me. It was rainy and I didn't notice them til I was halfway there. Gave me a jump. Very fun encounter. To the tree bridge!

    • @eminemre2210
      @eminemre2210 5 років тому

      Same

    • @galaxygold5939
      @galaxygold5939 4 роки тому +2

      Yesterday I came across a bandit on a tree bridge, id been completely ignoring the main quest since I left Helgon so I couldn't shout yet, but what I could do is summon a flame atronach on the bridge and watch in amusement in complete safety to see if he would die to the flame atronach, or if he would beat the flame atronach and then get pushed off the bridge by the explosion from the atronachs death

  • @martatarasiuk5198
    @martatarasiuk5198 6 років тому +799

    When I encountered Arvel the Swift for the first time, I thought I was supposed to keep him alive until Dragonborne finds a way to force all informations about the Claw from him. Believe me, even with a Dragon determined to protect him, Arvel will die. He just keeps charging at all enemies and traps. It's almost like he has a death wish. Occasionally, after being saved from a group of draugar, Arvel will give up on running into things and will attack his savior who just proved to be a formidable fighter.

    • @thatsoundslikeheresytomeyo4960
      @thatsoundslikeheresytomeyo4960 6 років тому +83

      Maera Fey yeah, I always killed him right away because it was to painful to watch this idiot move around.

    • @prestonzingg1399
      @prestonzingg1399 6 років тому

      Maera Fey is

    • @jimmyneutron6106
      @jimmyneutron6106 6 років тому +63

      Reminds me of the guy from the mages guild quest line in Oblivion. He charges forward & immediately the floor pushes up and slams him into the ceiling lmao

    • @natelovellette2713
      @natelovellette2713 6 років тому +24

      Has anyone ever actually managed to git him to the claw puzzle door while he was still alive?

    • @killercameo2091
      @killercameo2091 6 років тому +37

      Killing him is the easy part, keeping him alive however is a challenge.

  • @someonlinedouche6992
    @someonlinedouche6992 6 років тому +802

    Not sure about all you but the most threatening villain all Skyrim is not Alduin, Harkon, or Miraak. The most threatening villian is Hamelyn, the Skeever King! His headquarters is most difficult to find... Right below the Honningbrew Meadery. If you face this perilous foe be ready for a fight!!!

    • @tbrstarrygamer6682
      @tbrstarrygamer6682 6 років тому +148

      Nah, it's the conjurer that uses chickens as his undead servants.

    • @Graenolf
      @Graenolf  6 років тому +103

      Yea that woulda been my vote, heh.

    • @imo9193
      @imo9193 6 років тому +87

      I cant express how much i hate him what a moron that has kicked my ass about 28 times

    • @ryokiuzumasa8068
      @ryokiuzumasa8068 6 років тому +49

      I thought it was that chicken, you know, the one that keeps sending gaurds after you. He is the true king of Skyrim

    • @blackscreen198
      @blackscreen198 6 років тому +9

      Zach Hibbard Alduin? do you mean that dragon who dies very easy

  • @canadian__ninja
    @canadian__ninja 5 років тому +84

    You shot Ulfr in the knee.
    Don't think I didn't notice you focus on it.

    • @kittystcherbatski67
      @kittystcherbatski67 4 роки тому +8

      I used to be blind, then I took an arrow in the knee

    • @ra_alf9467
      @ra_alf9467 4 роки тому +3

      Don't worry, he will be placed at Whiterun gate days later
      Ulfr : "Nazeem, is that you?"
      Nazeem : "ee... Yes"
      Ulfr : "YOU PICKED A BAD TIME TO GET LOST, FRIEND!"

  • @scoptodog
    @scoptodog 5 років тому +1031

    *ulfir the blind* huh? is that you rodalf
    *me, a female kajjit* um...**clears throat** yeahhh thats me- um a nord bandit sureee
    *ulfir* ok

    • @HunhowsShadowStalker
      @HunhowsShadowStalker 5 років тому +117

      "Uhm, yes. Khajiit is indeed a Nord."
      "Okay I believe you."

    • @dragonboiflamingdrag9353
      @dragonboiflamingdrag9353 5 років тому +9

      XD

    • @DIOBRANDO-rr1kk
      @DIOBRANDO-rr1kk 4 роки тому +24

      No questions
      I am hooman
      Kajjit.

    • @irrelevant1242
      @irrelevant1242 4 роки тому +14

      What if Ulfir is a hidden genius who only pretends to be blind so you’ll take pity on him 😮

    • @ajduong
      @ajduong 4 роки тому +6

      Ulfir: Rodalf?
      Me: Meow
      Ulfir: perfectly normal!

  • @gray7352
    @gray7352 6 років тому +119

    What about that bandit you save from hagravins and all he has is a dagger. After you save him he demands all your stuff.... A naked man with a dagger just threatened a fully armored badass who he watched kill all the hags.. Not so smart.

    • @ВладиславШаклеин-ч7м
      @ВладиславШаклеин-ч7м 6 років тому +9

      ...or that lady in the nordic ruin who thinks she can have all the treasure to herself when you just cleared out all those dragur on your own. Hillarious, that one.

  • @adamthompson6669
    @adamthompson6669 6 років тому +1201

    Did Santa climb down your chimney and sneak into your room while you sleep, aaaaannnnndddddd whisper into your ear “OYFUM”

  • @Tigercup9
    @Tigercup9 6 років тому +179

    Are you, are you, coming to the tree
    The Dragonborn pushed off a man they say who murdered three
    Reckless things did happen here no more reckless it would be
    If we took this fight *TO THE TREE BRIDGE*

    • @gurderz3017
      @gurderz3017 6 років тому +2

      Tigercup i

    • @dochteriris
      @dochteriris 5 років тому

      Damn i was like wut but Then i realized oh Heh hungergames

  • @mohaisenpanolong4808
    @mohaisenpanolong4808 5 років тому +51

    3:25
    Ulfr The Blind: *I used to be a bandit like you. Until I took an arrow to the knee*

    • @jettbegetis4576
      @jettbegetis4576 5 років тому +5

      I used to be a bandit like you, till an elven mage burnt my eyes out.

  • @mettatonneo1147
    @mettatonneo1147 5 років тому +72

    Skyrim: *Main villains (including DLC) Are World-Eating Dragon, First Dragonborn, And Lord of Vampires, and you have a power to rival the sun.*
    Also Skyrim: *Most villains are just pathetically weak mortals*

  • @jessiethenerd3539
    @jessiethenerd3539 6 років тому +799

    Good Lord! Rodulf is such an evil person killing a COMPLETELY defenseless blind man, who could definitely NOT see anything!
    *Note the heavy sarcasm*

    • @somberstricken4424
      @somberstricken4424 6 років тому +14

      Jessie the book nerd that's not the blind man Ulfr is..... "Ulfr the blind" calm down

    • @ihaveanunoriginalprofilepi1744
      @ihaveanunoriginalprofilepi1744 6 років тому +16

      HOLY SHIT RODOLF IS RUDOLPH

    • @Vaesia-db6dq
      @Vaesia-db6dq 6 років тому +11

      Jessie the book nerd if you read the bandit leader it says he was blind not deaf so his hearing was probably very good
      So he could hear where you were moving

    • @amazedsatsuma
      @amazedsatsuma 6 років тому +11

      and he killed with the classic skyrim meme, the old arrow to the knee

    • @mickeydee4798
      @mickeydee4798 6 років тому +5

      at least rodulf is not a failed villain...

  • @coolchrisable
    @coolchrisable 6 років тому +217

    that old bandit roldolf

  • @tripledotquestionmark6467
    @tripledotquestionmark6467 5 років тому +76

    If you sneak around White River Watch, then you'll be able to hear about the bandits plotting to kill Ulfr the Blind.

    • @therealfirelord3359
      @therealfirelord3359 4 роки тому +19

      I left him alive for that reason

    • @Hello-og
      @Hello-og 3 роки тому +3

      @@therealfirelord3359 I put him out of his misery. I mean, what else was I to do? Let him slowly starve to death? Because I highly doubt anyone that blind can fully care for themselves, especially in a place like Skyrim.

    • @therealfirelord3359
      @therealfirelord3359 3 роки тому +2

      @@Hello-og Toph Beifong wants to know your location. She just wants to talk.

    • @Hello-og
      @Hello-og 3 роки тому +3

      @@therealfirelord3359 Two things: First I said "in Skyrim". Second, Toph is one of the most powerful earthbenders of all time, with the ability to sense vibrations in the ground and tell the rough age, height, and weight of anyone within a considerable distance. Ulfr is a blind (and probably somewhat deaf as well, all things considered) old man who can not tell the difference between a male Nord, and a female Kajjit. She would be fine, him? Not so much.

  • @feartheghus
    @feartheghus 6 років тому +56

    I would like to add every bandit to your list, just all together as one group, just bandits overall, they’re bad

  • @Paragon13
    @Paragon13 5 років тому +30

    I just decided to kill Arvel anyway for the fun of it.
    I was like:
    “Huh. I was supposed to kill him anyway.”

  • @iScAre1
    @iScAre1 6 років тому +119

    We take this fight *TO THE TREE BRIDGE*

    • @davidfalloutbandit
      @davidfalloutbandit 6 років тому +5

      *Boys* take their skirmishes "out side"....
      *Men* take their duels to..THE TREE BRIDGE!

  • @0307scott
    @0307scott 6 років тому +27

    The Thalmor who kidnap the Skaal smith on Solsteim. I mean there aren't a lot of High Elves on the island and they were seen by other Skaal villagers. Plus they're wearing Leather armour and Elven Helmets not very subtle.
    The Thalmor in general.

  • @roxirose5930
    @roxirose5930 6 років тому +195

    The #1 fail with the high elf dressed up as an imperial... its funny because I didn't even get to witness him lying to me. Reason is because I seen the shout up on the belcony so I just climbed my way up there and got the shout. Being me I used it right away (it was the storm call shout)... the storm I sommoned started to strike the dude with lighting and killed him. I toke his stuff, read the letter and was like "ooooooooh... Haha sucker!!!"

    • @Techhunter_Talon
      @Techhunter_Talon 6 років тому +22

      Funny thing... he actually tricked me as I wasn't really looking at his face too closely.

    • @extradeluxe141
      @extradeluxe141 6 років тому +14

      Isn't there a legate in the Rift Imperial Camp that's a high elf? So that combination is not impossible, but unlikely. I probably would know he's a fake right away.

    • @HoleDiggingJanitor
      @HoleDiggingJanitor 6 років тому +17

      I just saw a dude assumed he was a bandit and sniped his ass. Then it turned out he was an imposter so technically I was the good guy again. Darnit all to heck

    • @MrBioniclefan1
      @MrBioniclefan1 6 років тому +1

      I was tricked as well

    • @KurwaRomek
      @KurwaRomek 6 років тому +9

      If you side with Ralof in the very beginning of the game he's dressed as a Stormcloak officer. It's downright ridiculous but he's pushing you inside the crypt with a fake feeling of urgency like "oh hey why don't you go get the stuff that's inside this here dungeon, here's the entrance door, watch yourself bruh" so you don't really have time to question him

  • @greysonrivers
    @greysonrivers 5 років тому +18

    “Or a baker or a florist, DoNt wAlK oN ThIs iF YoU VaLuE YoUr LiFe” 😂 😂

  • @gaaraofthefunk7163
    @gaaraofthefunk7163 5 років тому +19

    “If you excuse me, I’ll go bury him on one of those graves we checked out earlier” Next scene *throws him down the hill* Bruh! 😂
    *sees bit about the bridge fight* I’m dead! ☠️🤣

  • @beesdy1657
    @beesdy1657 6 років тому +27

    a personal favorite is Estormo, who you meet after Labyrinthian. “This guy just killed a Dragon Priest... eh, I can take him!”

    • @totola839
      @totola839 6 років тому +1

      Maybe he though that the dragonborn was tired and wounded?

    • @marsnagi5734
      @marsnagi5734 6 років тому

      at least he need to try to sneak,or bringing a horde of undead army or something for you know....spice things up....

    • @wildroses2009
      @wildroses2009 6 років тому

      He is so not into that fight anyway. If you sheathe your weapons he just goes: "I'll let you live, this time" and lets you walk past unscathed. Truly, his devotion to carrying out his orders to kill you and take the staff is unparalleled.

  • @kayleighbyrne5191
    @kayleighbyrne5191 6 років тому +69

    "This really isn't a good spot to be a bandit.... or a baker, or a florist. Don't walk on this if you value your life!" God, that had me in stitches 😂 Your commentary is always amazing!

  • @cuffedjeans7320
    @cuffedjeans7320 6 років тому +25

    What about Hamlyn? You know, the crazed old man living under a meadery who has ambitions of creating an army of rats? Yeah. Him.

    • @OrpingtonFeller
      @OrpingtonFeller 6 років тому +2

      Honestly he still deals a lot of damage with his spells and his skeevers have annoyingly high health. Im pretty sure I died to him once

  • @goawaynick5916
    @goawaynick5916 6 років тому +14

    When I play Skyrim, every time I find Arvel I accidentally kill him when cutting him loose.

  • @ashwolf2006
    @ashwolf2006 5 років тому +7

    the bandit at the tree bridge needs a star wars overhaul.

  • @tantordoe5958
    @tantordoe5958 6 років тому +67

    We take this fight... TO THE TREE BRIDGE!

  • @andrewjohns9163
    @andrewjohns9163 6 років тому +78

    Lets Take This to the Tree Bridge
    -Graenolf 2018

    • @dasirrlicht5415
      @dasirrlicht5415 6 років тому +3

      Who is Graenolf? I allways tougth this is a quote of the famous Rudolf the Bandit!

    • @olchap6557
      @olchap6557 6 років тому

      He's the Dude the who made this video.

    • @dasirrlicht5415
      @dasirrlicht5415 6 років тому

      Zero, watch the video. Keep it in mind. Read the comment again.
      Then, you will get the joke.

  • @cpt.psychosis3439
    @cpt.psychosis3439 6 років тому +40

    "GOOD LORD IT FELT GOOD TO BE UP THERE ACTING STUPID"

  • @melon7446
    @melon7446 4 роки тому +5

    Graenolf: Who sent you assassin?
    Me: The damn Dark Brotherhood, your a wanted man, Graenolf

  • @GenericProtagonist7
    @GenericProtagonist7 5 років тому +22

    On my fist play through I did almost three days doing side quests before going onto the main quest, so when I got to Arvel I was completely decked out in daedric armor with the holy Dawnbreaker in one hand and a summon dremora in the other, I slaughtered the wounded frost spider in one hit and quickly cut him down, he was dead before he even finished his sentence about betraying me.

    • @McPlayer8t
      @McPlayer8t 3 роки тому

      Clearly you were well informed before your first play through then. I did a similar thing, but I did more aimless wondering than quests. I did the Golden Claw quest, but I never made it to the jarl of Whiterun for a long time. I still remember all the guards saying “Helgen, destroyed by a dragon, hard to believe isn’t it?” a quote the guards only say before you fight the dragon at the western watchtower. I was about 14 at the time though. Come to think of it, why was I playing an M rated game? Ah well.

  • @drvetsaveyourpet4622
    @drvetsaveyourpet4622 6 років тому +21

    "This really isn't a good place to be a bandit.... or a baker, or a florist." 😂😂😂😂

  • @l0ker507
    @l0ker507 6 років тому +256

    Hmmph. Novices.

    • @SpudOfWar
      @SpudOfWar 6 років тому +13

      Mous3 your pic and comment work so well together

    • @dukep3662
      @dukep3662 6 років тому

      Mous3 I see what you did there

  • @masonweiner3246
    @masonweiner3246 6 років тому +39

    Now I am dreaming of an Necromancer dlc based on that novice conjurer.

    • @OrpingtonFeller
      @OrpingtonFeller 6 років тому +2

      But the idea behind it is he should act terrified unlike the other antagonists. Basically expressing how scared he is whenever you kill an easy enemy he created and then say "do you have any idea how long it took me to conjure that!?"

  • @metaloverlord99
    @metaloverlord99 5 років тому +7

    When I found Arvel the Swift, I followed him when he ran away and he was eventually killed by some Draugr.

  • @kuroshi1548
    @kuroshi1548 5 років тому +10

    1:11 honestly, when Arvel told me to cut him down, I did... but also took one to many swings and killed him in the process. Turns out it was the easiest way to do that part of the quest😂👌

  • @gl424
    @gl424 6 років тому +19

    3:31 Well, if Ulfr survived, you just ended his adventuring days.

    • @Graenolf
      @Graenolf  6 років тому

      F*ckin' A xD

    • @ArgentDeer
      @ArgentDeer 6 років тому

      gl424 But he didn't put any arrows to the knees

    • @tbrstarrygamer6682
      @tbrstarrygamer6682 6 років тому +1

      Fatal arrow to the knee. Anyone know that reference?

  • @sapotheo4515
    @sapotheo4515 6 років тому +145

    I was a villain like you, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

    • @agentullman9103
      @agentullman9103 6 років тому

      Sapo Theo do u want to to chop it off you savge

    • @toastybatch565
      @toastybatch565 6 років тому +4

      6 years later people are still making this joke...

    • @IcyDragon-id2wk
      @IcyDragon-id2wk 6 років тому

      I was a villian like you then i fell off a tree bridge.
      -Tree Bridge Bandit

    • @jordanramsdorfer3931
      @jordanramsdorfer3931 6 років тому

      Sapo Theo to this day he is saying it

  • @anguskeenan4932
    @anguskeenan4932 6 років тому +42

    3:30 "I used to be a blind bandit like you once until I took an arrow to the knee" (unfortunately he died after that)

  • @shadow_da_derg
    @shadow_da_derg 5 років тому +5

    8:25 I find this part funny because the stormcloak soldiers is just standing there like "what is going on?"

  • @ilydowa
    @ilydowa 6 років тому +6

    "I was in the middle of swallowing a furball when I told him I was a nord" I'm crying

  • @Iguana5k
    @Iguana5k 6 років тому +78

    What about Beem ja. He tricks you into killing a super powerful draugr deathlord for him (because he cant). And after yo are done he is like. Now that this draugr istnt there anymore I can gain his power py sacrificing you.
    Totally ignoring the fact that you just killed a monster that was much stronger than him xD

    • @Stratelier
      @Stratelier 6 років тому +4

      Plus, I took the liberty of looting the draugr's ebony weapons after killing him. (Before soul-trapping Beem-Ja with the black soul gems I also looted off the draugr.)

    • @Iguana5k
      @Iguana5k 6 років тому +4

      Yeah, plans like that dont work unless you are some kind of super assasin that slices your throat without you ralizing that something isa fishy untill its too late ^^

    • @Stratelier
      @Stratelier 6 років тому +12

      Yup. Any time I find a Black Soul Gem, I mentally save it for an NPC opponent who _really_ deserves to have their soul forever stranded in the Soul Cairn.

    • @GekoHayate
      @GekoHayate 6 років тому +8

      I always soul trap assassination targets and use that soul to enchant an item I name after the npc as a sort of trophy.

    • @avatareternal3204
      @avatareternal3204 6 років тому

      Stumack I forget the name of the place but there's a bandit in a cave on the coast with a similar plan. "Thank you for killing the Hagravens that held me captive, now I'm going to kill you!"

  • @tbrstarrygamer6682
    @tbrstarrygamer6682 6 років тому +19

    What about Oodaviing. He's an immortal dragon that gets caught in a WOODEN trap! He also breathes FIRE! Then, he just gives up and is like, " here, I'll take you to defeat my master who I am in loyal servitude to." Although he does say he doesn't think of Alduin as his master, but still. Worst servant ever.

    • @blarg2429
      @blarg2429 6 років тому +2

      The parts of the trap that are wooden are arranged so that he's never able to point his face at them, because the trap goes around his neck to prevent movement. Note that Dragonsreach's Great Balcony, used for the trap, is made primarily of stone. :P
      And the "defeat equals friendship" trope is how Skyrim's dragons work. Their entire culture revolves around the fact that this is how this kind of scenario plays out for them. :P :P

    • @tbrstarrygamer6682
      @tbrstarrygamer6682 6 років тому

      blarg2429 Where was your comment two weeks ago?

  • @maiizepond6888
    @maiizepond6888 6 років тому +105

    Graenolf you fool ,Ulfr is half falmer didn't you know

    • @FletcherCat
      @FletcherCat 6 років тому +15

      MaiizePoNd I laughed too hard at this comment

    • @Graenolf
      @Graenolf  6 років тому +18

      Hahaha

  • @GrixieKong
    @GrixieKong 5 років тому +8

    3:34 I can’t believe it... someone actually took an arrow in the knee!

  • @tantalizintoast2927
    @tantalizintoast2927 6 років тому +6

    When I went to the tree log the guy says “hmph wizards...now that’s power... bet they have that secret power... Turning wood to gold... I would like to turn wood to gold” I slaughtered him without mercy.

  • @emmakilgore7586
    @emmakilgore7586 6 років тому +17

    Grenolf has the best voice of any UA-camr

  • @burgrmeister9224
    @burgrmeister9224 6 років тому +16

    Witnessing Graenolf loosing his mind about a tree

  • @rodrigoortiz7501
    @rodrigoortiz7501 6 років тому +20

    Ulfr is a gatekeeper by day and daredevil by night ....

  • @QT-ze1gi
    @QT-ze1gi 6 років тому +5

    #1: My initial thought, too, was "you're not coming with??!"

  • @HollowedLuna
    @HollowedLuna 5 років тому +10

    3:27 I used to be a bandit like you until I took an arrow to the knee

  • @DCowboys60
    @DCowboys60 6 років тому +12

    “You can find him watching over the entrance at white river watch” get it? He’s “watching” over the entrance

  • @AuroraSkiesx
    @AuroraSkiesx 6 років тому +88

    YELL HEAH i’ve been bingeing your skyrim videos for the last three days i’m hyped for this one

  • @dustwarewolf5532
    @dustwarewolf5532 6 років тому +36

    Um, I am fairly certain that the blank book that Ulfir was reading was supposed to be Braille, meaning that it just looks like it's blank. Also, blind people do tend to have much better hearing than people who can see, and armor can be loud at times, so it is actually possible that he could have just heard where The Dragonborn was, especially if he has been blind for many years giving him time to adapt. Also, The Dragonborn might just be very good at mimicking other people's voices.

    • @Dragon-um6wh
      @Dragon-um6wh 6 років тому +2

      but it wasn't braille, and we have the same hearing lol.

    • @JinRatSamuel
      @JinRatSamuel 6 років тому +15

      What he meant was that blind people tend to rely much more on hearing. Which will make them concentrate more on it which kinda makes it "better".

    • @rachelclaw
      @rachelclaw 5 років тому

      I never thought about it being braille, idk if Skyrim has that but it'd be really cool if so

    • @lionizedlew
      @lionizedlew 5 років тому +1

      @@Dragon-um6wh Technically, yes. Pyschologically, no.

    • @joshtatko4806
      @joshtatko4806 4 роки тому

      1. But you can see Braille dots
      2. I don't think Braille exists in the Elder Scrolls universe
      3. The idea that the DB can mimic people's voices is unsubstantiated at best and dead wrong at worst. Don't you think that would come in handy in other situations? Why doesn't he/she use it?

  • @ognjenpetrovic8932
    @ognjenpetrovic8932 3 роки тому +1

    I binge watched all his skyrim videos,and idk why isnt he making anymore skyrim videos, they are so cool!

  • @Excalibur-em9fh
    @Excalibur-em9fh 6 років тому +60

    🎶Hi Hoooo Hi Hooooo, to the tree bridge we goooo🎶

  • @dxnielmxrston6640
    @dxnielmxrston6640 6 років тому +14

    this is definitely the best video you've made. it has amazing humour and it actually made me laugh. the internet doesn't do that much anymore. congratulations for another successful year!

  • @somenormieboionyoutube3224
    @somenormieboionyoutube3224 6 років тому +7

    Well I'm impressed I stole 100,000 sweet roles before I got caught. I could've got 1 more but a snitch told my teacher.

  • @Trickvixity
    @Trickvixity 4 роки тому +5

    "Ha, looks like you've fallen into my trap"

  • @gabrielc.4332
    @gabrielc.4332 6 років тому +19

    Those BARRELS!! Could have been a good villain

    • @Graenolf
      @Graenolf  6 років тому +5

      That would be "Hardest Enemies" mate.

  • @devinlupei5071
    @devinlupei5071 6 років тому +56

    "I was in the middle of swallowing a furball when I told him I was a Nord" racist, still funny though. XD

  • @xkilo
    @xkilo 6 років тому +56

    Iv been dying for another skyrim post

    • @kirbycoc5
      @kirbycoc5 6 років тому

      Donkey - Vibez ikr I can play skyrim on vr but he’s funny

  • @nobodie9996
    @nobodie9996 6 років тому +1

    First time I played the remaster, I forgot about the bandit on the log. Not seeing him, and feeling like a bit of a daredevil myself, I charged across it with Shadowmere. Seeing him fly off the log to his death reminded me why I've always loved this game.

  • @xxxSlenderManxxs
    @xxxSlenderManxxs 6 років тому +5

    3:32
    He used to be blind, then he took an arrow in the knee...

  • @illidank996
    @illidank996 6 років тому +8

    Lmao that was great. It was good to finally laugh at a video again. Especially the Novice Conjurer part. That was hilarious

  • @nojuslipkis7705
    @nojuslipkis7705 6 років тому +11

    I love when I just come to a castle full of bandits and I shit someone whit a bow he dies and his friends says "is someone there?"

    • @tbrstarrygamer6682
      @tbrstarrygamer6682 6 років тому +3

      nojus FG I like it better when you shoot them, and they say "is someone there?" Could bandits get any useless?!

    • @nanlowell7834
      @nanlowell7834 6 років тому +3

      "Must have been hearing things" *Sits down next to friend who somehow managed to embed an arrow into his own skull*

  • @melonmazing515
    @melonmazing515 6 років тому +24

    TO THE TREE BRIDGE!

  • @andrew_h6
    @andrew_h6 6 років тому +3

    I died when you started talking about the tree bridge

  • @alib5018
    @alib5018 5 років тому +4

    3:30 he's bound to become a town guard now

  • @Daltonj123
    @Daltonj123 6 років тому +4

    The best thing with Valmir for me was this; I had not chosen a side yet and he was in full Stormcloak gear. A highelf Stormcloak *CAPTAIN* ? Unlikely.

  • @jamesaditya5254
    @jamesaditya5254 6 років тому +5

    What about that one dragonborn who set out on a quest to kill all the chickens on the face of Skyrim only to be pounded to death by the humble people of Riverwood? That's quite the bad guy

  • @andrewjohns9163
    @andrewjohns9163 6 років тому +19

    Im pretty sure Graenolf is Sheogorath

    • @meganshirley9411
      @meganshirley9411 6 років тому +1

      Andrew Johns Hmmmm.. what makes you think that? I mean.. there's no evidence. *note that heavy sarcasm*

  • @shaladekandara5292
    @shaladekandara5292 6 років тому +1

    The bandit on the tree bridge is probably a reference to Robin Hood and Little John. Almost every visual adaptation of the ballad has them fighting on a tree bridge rather than a normal bridge.

  •  5 років тому +1

    8:47 It’s fucking hilarious seeing the soldier turn toward you menacingly, only for the next shot to show him on the ground with 2 arrows in his head. 😂

  • @thedarkdojo5115
    @thedarkdojo5115 6 років тому +5

    The Vampire Fledgling in Potema's Catacombs that said "Potema will need many corpses to rebuild her army." Killed him with one swift arrow to the head...

  • @slapslapslapclapclapclap7048
    @slapslapslapclapclapclap7048 6 років тому +4

    Graenolf’s final battle will be against Nazeem on the Tree Bridge, Graenolf will have his Barrel-Born Battle Armor. The outcome of the battle will determine the fate of the world.

  • @hadesnightmare2970
    @hadesnightmare2970 6 років тому +7

    2:00 I KNEW THE BLIND MAM WOULD BE IN IT 😂

  • @homeboydino1706
    @homeboydino1706 3 роки тому +1

    Speaking of villains, an evil guard took 700 steel arrows from me when I’d only had 16 stolen arrows

  • @KorporateKotoo
    @KorporateKotoo 5 років тому +7

    I wonder what happens if you paralyze Arvel the Swift and clear out the rest of the dungeon so he isn't in danger, would he just step on the spiked wall trap?

    • @jodofe4879
      @jodofe4879 3 роки тому +2

      Yeah. If you try to save him and help him to kill the Draugr he always walks into spike wall trap no matter what. It is pretty much impossible to save him even if you tried. He is programmed to die.

  • @loremasterxp3635
    @loremasterxp3635 6 років тому +12

    Why the fuck a stormcloak soldier was at some old ruins I don't know, but also why the fuck would he believe a High Elf is an officer in the Stormcloak rebellion.

    • @JargonMadjin
      @JargonMadjin 6 років тому +3

      He was a rookie

    • @windhelmguard5295
      @windhelmguard5295 6 років тому +1

      not all high elves are thalmor.
      the storm cloaks don't reject people because of their race.
      anyone who prooves himself can move through their ranks.
      there are also high elves living in windhelm

    • @loremasterxp3635
      @loremasterxp3635 6 років тому

      True but it's rare to almost impossible to see a high Elve in the Stormcloaks.