I don’t know if my dad came up with this, but he always told me: “before you label yourself as crazy, take a look around and make sure you’re not surrounded by assholes.”
I spent 40+ years in an abusive family dynamic. After walking away, I realized it was “run like a cult” by my mother. So yes, families can be cult-like as well.
Me too. Sadly, the leader sa all of his daughters. The mother was an accomplice as when each started to speak up individually, she silenced them for the sake of his image. Cut Ties with parents and distanced from siblings already 9 years. Healing started really transforming me until then, previous efforts on therapy always failed as I did not disclose the situation completely.
Same. My family was a mini cult. Coercive control and mind games and abuse. Sacrifice for the leader, you belong to them, and they will try to destroy you when you leave.
@@KSouthworth my therapist is the one that told me: you don’t leave, they throw you away. 18+ months later, they won’t leave me alone. Still smearing me, still stalking me online. I just want to keep moving forward. And I completely feel you. Hugs to you on your journey. I hope there is peace in it.
@@lessarey Yes. Twenty years ago they threw me away, and then they made it seem like they were such heroes for bothering to get back in touch with me. Over the years, I've slowly gone no contact with every last one of them. The patriarch was the last one. He made the barest effort to get back in touch, which I expected, because we already performed this song and dance two decades ago. Peace doesn't describe how it feels to finally be free--Nina Simone sang it best in 'Feeling Good'. But I wasn't expecting the trauma bond to still be so strong. That took some sorting. I know what it's like to heal from this kind of abuse, I'm twenty-five years on this path. We take it one step at a time, and learn our true worth. Hugs to you, as well. You've put your safety first, and I deeply admire you for that.
Same here. When I was 26 my mother requested that I spend the weekend with her. My body just gave up. I was not able to get up and drive to her. Even inf somebody would have told me I had to visit my mother or I will die I couldn’t go to her. I listened to my body. It took me 15 years of therapy. I never looked back. I don’t miss her AT ALL.
Make no mistake, it has made you resistant, but not immune to joining a cult. The only way to not join a cult is to not join ANYTHING and take NO SIDE. That is not a fulfilling life for most of us, even most of us anti-social ones.
As someone who was raised in a cult their entire life and got out in my early 30's, I believe you've not mentioned the most important hallmark of a cult. They will discourage any other journey. There's is the 'best' way, and questioning it using logic and reason is basically not well accepted.
True…I was the same. They are the only place to find answers. They convince people that they can’t survive outside on their own. Questions aren’t allowed.
Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective? Safe and Effective?
There is a book called Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism by Amanda Montell. It’s a fascinating read about how cults and cult-like groups use language to draw people in and to exercise control. The author also looks at how much modern marketing uses the language of cults to create brand loyalty.
Sarah Edmondon and Nippy interviewed Amanda on their podcast A Little Bit Culty and they do a great job of reviewing the concepts in her book. Fantastic listen along with the book!
I went to a known religious/spiritual center once. The whole vibe was group think, no individual process. When I asked "Where's the bathroom?" Two people linked arms with me on both sides and said 'we'll go with you." That was enough for me. Never went back.
WTF you couldn’t even take a leak or a dump by yourself? They didn’t want you to go to the bathroom alone because I didn’t want you to escape. I’m glad you got away and you got away fast.
Actually, statistically, people who have already been in a cult are some of the most likely people to join another one. I'm really glad you got out and are standing strong!
@@alreadytired6515 really? I am atheist, and i believe that is a powerful defense against cult like behavior too. Even so, cults are very ez to spot, many people choose to not avoid them, due to mental illness that was not treated.
@@Mister_Listener this speaker grew up in a very nonreligious household. Atheism is no longer some vaccine against this stuff, thats the whole point of her talk
I was born in a cult. It was not fair. I never had the choice to look at the organization and choose to join or not. I finally woke up and got my act together and escaped when I was about 25.
I feel like it's almost easier when you are born into it. That's why Catholic converts are always serious latin mass veils and all and we cradle Catholics are like "yeah but will the Knights of Columbus be serving beer tho that's what we want to know"
My former workplace used MUCH of the language she uses as examples, and it makes sense why it was so hard for me to leave despite feeling burned out. I felt like I was abandoning a place that "needed me" when in reality, I was no more irreplaceable than the next employee. Dont ever let a company make you feel like you can't leave. In fact, you probably SHOULD.
I can totally relate. Direct Supply in Milwaukee is very cultish, I got fired for refusing to drink the cool aid, thankfully my military training kept my morals and behavior in check.
It’s a lonely world after defecting from a cult . Seems like nobody understands the level of “love” and “friendship” you experienced. And you’re left to journey the world they demonized only to find out, gradually, how good freedom feels. You discover the beauty of life , and you do it without the people you shared your whole life with. And you know it was wrong but you miss having that “family” around. Thanks for healing my heart a little today
Getting divorced feels that way too. You feel unburdened and finally free, but you have to remind yourself to not miss the companionship, to never forget the emotions that turned everything sour until you could never trust that person again.
Looking at you , Landmark. I had a person who I thought was a really genuine friend who wanted to help me during a very tumultuous time in my life. Try really hard to recruit me into landmark and it almost cost me more than I could ever afford. I'm so glad I realized quickly what was going on and got away. I asked that person firmly with a text message to never discuss landmark or anything to do with landmark with me ever again, she promptly replied okay and that she understood and all of a sudden. She never wanted to hang out with me ever again. I realized in that moment she was never a friend at all
Oh wow. I think I’m technically a Landmark graduate. This was about 25 years ago in Chicago before I left home for the military. Going through it, it just felt like church but without the presence of God included. Looking back, it still felt that way for the most part. Nowadays, I would tell anyone considering Landmark to just find their local chapter of Toast Masters instead to get the same experience for much cheaper if not free.
My former employer tried to force me to join Landmark. I went to their orientation having no idea what it was. Fortunately, just from what I had learned in my college general psychology course, I was able to recognize it as a cult pretty quickly. I ended up quitting that position not long after. We should be taught how to recognize cults in public schools. Most of the other people in that orientation seemed oblivious to how they were being manipulated.
Cult signs (in video): Assumption of neediness. Expensive. Loaded Language. Lawsuits or Bad Press. Definitive answers. Things cults don't tend to have: Questions are welcomed. You can exit drama-free. Healthy amount of commitment. Holds up to your research.
Expensive: $100,000 watches, $400 gold spray painted shoes. Definitive answers: trumps the only one who knows what is going on. You shall not question trump or you will not be reelected. They don’t have a healthy amount of commitment…. Hats, shoes, trucks with his face on it, trump birthday parties. Hence MAGA is a cult
Before this whole thing blew up I met someone who was in Nexivm, he hired me to design some flyers so he could promote it. When I asked him for the logo and he didn't have a jpg file, I told him I could just look it up online. He said "yeah... you might find some stuff online about them being a cult, but it's just because the parent of some members is sore about his daughters cutting contact with him. Don't pay any attention to it" So of course I read the whole article and was glad I never went to one of the meetings I was invited to.
I'm a former right-wing evangelical cult member of the American flavor. I was indoctrinated upon birth by my parents. I've been out for over 20 years and I still struggle with some of the lies I was force-fed. I also struggle with my relationship with my parents because they are extremely rigid in their beliefs and hold a lot of hatred for people who are not white evangelicals like them.
@@karalangenberg1124 I struggle with the impact the lies had/have on my life because I was force-fed those lies in the most important/influential years of my life: ages 0-18. I had no other option/choice than to believe what I was being taught. I was taught some incredibly harmful, damaging, poisonous ideas. I am left with CPTSD and religious trauma to try and heal from.
Not religious at all, but once attended church w/friend after id been robbed. The church asked for a donation. When i told them i was just robbed and i couldn't spare any. The answer was, still donate and the lord will provide when the time comes. Thats all i needed to stay away. Turns out she left the church for cult like behavior.
Mormonism (or The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for those who have the time of day) has similar policies to what happened with the donation debacle and also flies a lot of the red flags mentioned in her talk. I met some great people growing up in it, but the organization itself does so many toxic things and leaving did a lot of good for my mental health.
@@Erik_Caballero many people who commit to churches are good intended. (And it seems to keep them decent) but always with anything we have to tread with caution
Ex Scientologist here. I was born into it and had really believed it to be based on science. The big thing that set me off was the fact that I looked up some anti Scientology propaganda as they like to call it or black PR. Just wanted to see why there was so much hate. It all came together. I asked one of their staff members about what they thought about what I watched, and the guy was like: "why were you watching that?" Later he told me that the people making that stuff are trying to destroy Scientology and if you keep watching it, you will have issues with your auditing (a bullshit version of regression therapy to enlighten you that costs thousands of dollars) . They made me do something called an ethics handling. In other words, make me realize what I did was wrong and for me to be apart of Scientology I needed to make a choice if I was the enemy or the good guy. I had to write a bunch of papers on what I saw and what I was going to do to not do it again. This was done in a basement area they had in an old building they were in. Very uncomfortable at the time, and sadly that's were they would do their auditing. In a small room with no windows. It wasn't a horrible place. But a far cry from what it was supposed to be according to their founder L Ron Hubbard. Now they just came out with their new building in Chicago. Costs millions. Millions from donations from people who drive used toyotas, and economy cars. Most of these people are struggling to make ends meet. That's not what is promised in the teachings. My parents were and still are those people. Sadly, I have to deal with their connection to the Church. I can't convince them otherwise. It's pretty much been an awkward and hostile limbo over the years. I do my best to not cause an argument. I love them both. But I hate what they have chosen.
It's amazing that you are able to stay connected with your parents and understand their flaws and still love them. Appreciate your effort to maintain your relationship with your parents while dissociating from their beliefs
I won't mention the company's name. But a friends son has pretty much turned his whole life over to a MLM organization. Over five years now. He went from being this sweet, curious friendly young man to an automaton who just spews slogans and toxic positivity. He believes that if he can just bring enough people in "under" him, he will soon have a huge glass house on the beach and he'll never have to work a day in his life again. In 5 years he's brought in less than 10 people and some of them ended up dropping out. He still scopes out people at coffee shops and tries to make seemingly innocent small talk. He then tells them he knows how they can make a lot of money and be financially solvent for the rest of their lives. Hes been asked to leave at least one coffee shop. He buys boxes of products from the MLM company to make it look like he's got a real business going. But he just buys those items and those boxes sit in a closet as he tries to pawn them off on family and friends, what few non MLM friends he still might have. Its so sad to watch this young man who was smart and kind and friendly become a shill for a MLM organization that just rips people off.
So very very sad 😱 I wish that he could be introduced to some honest money adviser who could shake him to look back how little money he has actually done with that MLM company. And then, suggest some other strategy to him, like property investments etc. If he likes selling stuff and talking to people, then he could work in selling stuff or in marketing industry. So sad!
My exhusbands parents belonged to a very well known MLM (am way). He remembers the garage full of product. He and his siblings, along with their cousins were left a large sum of money when their grandparents passed. His parents managed to lose a large amount of it to the MLM. And they still faithfully used their products till the day they died. Pretty dispicable imo I still remember her pawning old product off to ppl for Christmas. I got some very old nasty perfume one year.
A buddy of mine considered one of those and actually tried to sell crap for a while and then dropped it and when he did he was like "yeah I dodged a bullet there. I could already tell that every time I walked into a room people would be like oh s#!t here comes [name] and he is going to talk to us about [product]
I'm an American living in Japan and about 20 years ago I was walking to the train station and a very attractive young woman suddenly stopped me and asked if I wanted to get married. I was taken aback for a moment, then joked something like I had a girlfriend and I didn't think I could handle anything else at the moment. She probed a bit further, "Is it serious?", and tried to imply that relationships between foreign men and Japanese women rarely last, etc. She explained she was with a religious group and through them she had found true happiness, etc. We finally parted ways and she gave me some literature in English about her group. I didn't recognize the name on it, but later when I read through it a little I realized it was the Unification Church, or the "Moonies" as we used to call them in Massachusetts where they had a presence when I was growing up. Now I just remember it as a funny little encounter, but I can see how someone who might be feeling kind of lost or lonely could be easily drawn in by an attractive person who seems very empathetic and interested in them...
Ha - as a former "Moonie" who spent some time in Boston (1978) I'm glad you didn't fall into their influence. Even I would have been intrigued by a pretty young Japanese girl approaching me like that!
@@suchanhachan In the mid-70s the Moonies haunted every airport and shopping center in America. When they wanted me to quit school, sell my car and give them the money I walked away. They were quite persistent and angry but after a solid month of phone calls and banging on the door they left.
Although I never joined, I was "involved" with the Moonies for a few years when they were trying to recruit people in Las Vegas. They almost got me with their beautiful female Japanese missionaries but I always resisted. I even got to visit one of Moon's affluent houses where he raised his children. I was in a very depressing time in my life and so I guess I naturally fell in with them because of their welcoming nature. After a while I knew it was wrong when I began noticing their devious schemes and underhanded techniques to lure people to worship Moon. The Unification Church is really nothing more than a family business empire masquerading as a religious peace movement.
The number one way you know you've joined a cult, is if you give until you have nothing left, and its still not good enough. You aren't good enough, and they make you feel like you have nothing to offer them, or anyone else. Period. Forever.
Religion is just another vehicle for this form of power and control. Happens in any system that involves more than one person…relationships, families, workplaces, etc.
I clicked on this with definite interest that it might be useful info, but man did it exceed all of any expectations I could've had - I'm blown away by the power in this short/digestible talk, and the essential information it makes available. So grateful for Sarah Edmondson for having the courage to engage in this and to TEDTalk.
Oh, thank you!! Just got myself out of a religious cult in March after 50 years of comfort in blind obedience. Ministers’ child abuse and misusing members’ money opened my eyes to the way I’ve been “lovingly” kept in all these years. This talk completely resonates with me to see the calculated con game. I don’t blame myself as much now for joining and staying in. Still deconstructing.
As people watch this. I want you to think of how often you or your children are told to be a “team player”. The “team player” mentality is a method leaders at cults, sports, churches, politics and businesses get people to give their entire life to that leaders purpose. Stop the insanity, its not always a good thing to be a “ team player”. When you hear the term you better run. Don’t give your life or children’s lives to some BS leader.
Agree 100% but the other side has one too. Oppressor/oppressed narrative (woke). Blm, lgbt, pro Palestine there’s quite a few other causes too. All have flags and a “if you don’t stand with this” mentality. The most good hearted, kind and empathetic people fall victim to that one
As a former member of a cult in the 70's, I have always tried to warn people about the danger of cult mentality, and the vulnerability of humans to coercive persuasion. It's gratifying to see the awareness of this problem growing.
As a former born-into a Christian fundamentalist cult (third generation), I got out at 20. I am now very apprehensive about joining almost any group. Thank you Sarah for your work to educate people who think (arrogantly) that they would never... some of us don't get the choice.
It's wonderful you were able to come to the realization that you were in a cult. When it has been going on for multiple generations it must have been a way of life rather than a set of ideas. Very brave of you to take the decision to leave.
My dad said Never join a group that humiliates you. I think he meant for me not to join a college sorority, but it made me aware of weak people who need to have followers.
Dated a girl briefly who'd been sucked into the Landmark Forum cult. Truly scary to realize these groups operate amongst us and the kind of power they can have over people. Landmark Forum is based on a similar approach to Scientology (since it's a spin-off group) - use people's personal trauma to humiliate and control them and replace any sense of self with the group.
My ex bf joined them and they tried to recruit me. They wanted all my money and my family's. Seriously they wanted me to tell my mom to mortgage her house (which she never would've done) I explained that to them and they finally let me go. It was to my advantage I had no money to give them. They kept saying my life would improve exponentially after I paid for and took this class. I'm glad I was with people who saw thru them and told me and my bf they were a cult. People tried to warn him and he laughed it off at first. A year later he showed up to invite me to another meeting. Then he disappeared. That was 20 years ago I haven't seen or spoken to him since
It's more about total control through small moves. It involves removing opposition, silencing free will, " us versus them" mentality, group over individual mentality, exclusive societies, social identity, identifying dangers that don't exist.... Politics Science Religion A cult tells you that you are at your best when you are around those in your cult, because those other people are dangerous. They tap into a fear we are born with. "Only we can be right." "Others should be punished."
Science has self-correcting mechanisms and yields real results. Thank you, science, for providing the knowledge that's kept me alive. Science is not a cult. Although a cult leader might tell you it is.
@@streamtracker Science has been used to destroy more lives than any religion. From bombs to guns to chemical and biological weapons, the sciences have been there to make people unalive in new and previously unimaginable ways.. To ignore that there are huge industrial complexs built for scientists to develop new and more deadly processes is to ignore reality. Science is absolutely a cult. Any new discovery is immediately met with opposition. Although a cult member wouldn't acknowledge this.
@@streamtracker Science has been used to destroy more people than any religion. From bombs to guns to chemical and biological weapons, the sciences have been there to make off people in new and previously unimaginable ways.. To ignore that there are huge industrial complexs built for scientists to develop new and more deadly processes is to ignore reality. Science is absolutely a cult. Any new discovery is immediately met with opposition. Although a cult member wouldn't acknowledge this.
@streamtracker Science has destroyed more lives through wars and inventions than religion ever has. Science regularly shuts down debate and destroys people's abilities to work in their professions. It's not supposed to, but it does, just like religion. Although a cult member might not tell you it is. They need to protect their ability to see man as a god.
@@streamtracker Scientists wage war with ever new and inventive ways to destroy the human body. Even members of the scientific community have regularly been silenced for non-conforming opinions. Although a cult member would tell you they're the good guys.
I’m so glad she’s safe. So much of what she described here exists in parasocial groups too. Podcast and social media influencers with a sick amount of control over their followers.
Beautiful message and beautiful person. She could just go on with her life, but decided to share her experience with the hopes of helping others learn from her mistakes. ❤
Thank you Sarah for opening up my eyes and to let me know what the red flags are regarding cults. I have seen The Vow about 4 times. The more I watch it, the more I'm so glad that you got out. Keith is where he rightfully belongs. God bless you!
You are a brave person to acknowledge your vulnerability and how you were groomed to join this unhealthy organisation. I am sure this helps protect other people. Well done.
@@PatrickThreewit those were the ones I left. LOLOL
7 місяців тому
I have the answer for that >:).
7 місяців тому+1
@@PatrickThreewitIt does. And left leaning politics today. And almost every group obsessed with power. Learn to see it all around, focusing it on just one, just hides the others you might subscribe to.
@@PatrickThreewit Large parts of it yes. I was in it for decades, and that's why I watched this video. It's so big there are multiple cult leaders in it, and if you try you can avoid all of them, sort of, but their influence is all around making you doubt yourself. I may come back in a year and say it was ALL a cult, but I'm not ready yet. I stuck with really sincere people who asked a lot of questions, but I suppose every cult needs sincere true believers or it falls apart.
Once you see the patterns..you see them in religions, politics, family dynamics in & out of the home etc. it’s coercive and subtle. You doubt yourself and feel depressed and stuck the more control you ALLOW them to have. You have to forcefully set boundaries with people/organizations and recognize you deserve autonomy and respect.
@unabunny585 I studied cults for quite some time in college and you’d be shocked how many stared as one or a few guys with some friends/family, starting a “club” of sorts, usually in response to an ACTUAL social/corporate/societal/religious problem or limitations. (Think corruption in local government or religious institution) this is how they get the first members, though a shared dislike of a known issue. The difference between cults and other organizations is they tend to have a very charismatic leader who makes a lot of assertions, speeches, and confidently really SEEMS to know what he’s talking about. He passionately pontificates and makes absolute (unverifiable) statements about how things are and how they should be. Opinions are stated as facts without room for debate or doubt. The path to cult is pretty short from here where members begin follow his leadership and thoughts without question, as a shorthand for not being as knowledgeable about subjects themselves. (Other strong personalities or thinkers get weeded out at this point) Regardless of original intent, the leader now has full control over the group and of course, this is where power corrupts absolutely. Members are showered with praise and position for their commitment levels which creates the social pressure needed for newcomers. Now the operation is in full swing with members fully embracing the ideology and leader direction, not necessarily because of deep beliefs but by the strong desire to please impress leadership (and other members who have also embraced the movement fully). This is when the really weird stuff can happen, corruption, sexual abuse, harems, coverups, violence, you name it. It’s all because of the “swap”. When people shift from believing in purpose to believing in a person. This is why it’s almost impossible to deprogram cultist because they’ve long since checked reason at the door, so they’re used to rationalizing, gaslighting themselves, following blindly. It’s terrifying but fascinating too.
That's the truth. Sadly most start from a genuine idea to give back or assist others. When they notice the type of power they have, grown men and women submitting to them. They become "drunk" with Power and Greed then its a down spiral from there. They start to 1. change all the initial partners they started with (sometimes spouse included) 2. Become hyper perverted 3. Want no follower to have own assets- everthing must be shared. 4. Lead with Fear More
" . . you're already whole, right now" - Thank you Sarah. More people need to hear that and really have a chance to absorb it. Goodness knows there are all sorts of groups large and small that would like us to think we are flawed and absolutely need their "help."
As well as feminist, red pill, LGBT activism, DEI activism, pro life, pro abortion, anti-White hatred, colorism, eugenist, flat earth, climate Activision, queer theory, Blue-ANON, and Q-ANON.
As soon as she said Nxivm I knew EXACTLY what she was talking about. :( way too much true crime. And I knew what he did to women too. You poor woman. On the other hand, a 120 year sentence for a woman beating scumbag when he was seemingly untouchable and the authorities had no clue is something to hang your hat on.
Sounds like World Wide group I was a part of the company 4 months and recognized right away. I felt a lot of guilt for leaving and of course the "friends" I made no longer wanted me as a friend after. I was definitely love bombed, gaslit, they tell you it's not Amway when it really is. I was not allowed to do special girl only groups with the diamond until I got to certain levels. They tell you meetings are more important than family because"this is for your family"
Cults are so scary :-/ my husband just left the Mormon church recently. I’m so glad his eyes opened ! When a church even controls your freaking underwear ! Like how did so many fall for this 😒
For what it's worth, there are plenty of religions that have religiously significant clothing I get that ours sounds goofier because it's underwear instead of something like a hat or a robe, but it still fulfills the same sort of function
Agree! I shun any group that requires any kind of commitment because I know I will hate that. I also realize that everyone is susceptible for something, but I also think people pleasers are especially vulnerable.
@@Jimmy4video And let's not forget the steaks, the how to get rich books, and the "university" courses. And if you perform a paid service, get a 50% deposit up front.
8:09 this list of things have always felt like giant red flags to me my whole life. And even though you say you aren't condemning any of these things, "Welcome to the family" has never preceded anything good. 15:00 "Questions are welcomed" "You can ask things without being gaslit" One of these days I'll find a group like that. Too many people have that one thing they are unwilling to question which in turn dominates nearly everything in their life. 17:04 "Don't make the tools your life." is such an important sentence I just need to repeat it.
I was in somewhat a cult before. So I know she's really brave when she stands there talking about her experience. She tries her best to protect others and fixes her mistakes. I hope things go well for everyone.
When I was in my first semester of college I had a friendly, relatively attractive student comment with me. She seemed so friendly and nice. We were grabbing a coffee when she mentioned Landmark. My mom told me that it was a cult and I realized she was right. That friend invited me to a group Zoom meeting with a rich old "finance" guy who led the event. They had about two to three plants in the meeting providing sob stories of how Landmark changed them. I quit the meeting halfway through to screw with all of them. Next thing you know that "friend" began texting me frantically trying to get me to join. Sending creepy pre-planned messages like "We are waiting for you", and "You will never know your true self". Insanity.
Society puts us in the mindset that we need validation and love from others. That's why cults are successful. The source of love is and always HAS been with us. We are born in it. There is nothing wrong with being alone. Time of reflection, growth, love, and healing can happen alone. Discernment also grows, because you know yourself and intentions. Which helps you understand other's intentions. The sad thing is that cults only are a deeper rabbithole that was created by religion. A tool used to control those who believe. I'm not opposed to messages of love and compassion. I am opposed to using those messages used to garner obedience and to create false narratives. Love has no religion, yet it's the ultimate religion.
Wow!!, 20 people agree w/you at this point….I suppose the trillions of Christians over two thousand years must've indulged in delirium for their lifetimes. Cults quickly degenerated to Religion in your order of things. There seems to be a contradiction w/your general belief system and Namastepeace1111….It's comforting that you're as discombobulated as the rest of us, but if you're unsure, as you clearly are, is it the best approach is to undervalue the beliefs of others? Mind you, if you have proof that God is a myth, and that our Lord didn't actually create the gift of Love that you value,….well, I'm all ears….After all, we're not to follow lost leaders like sheep. The people who rule our world believe in Religion, but they don't worship the same Deity that most of us do….Love is not high on their agenda…Don't believe me? Research it for yourself, because all you're doing is actually supporting them. God Bless
I realize that because of the way I was raised, that I was always vulnerable to cults. I left a group that was actually run in a very cult ish fashion. When I left I lost all my friends basically because they all had become a part of this group, and I was shunned because they sided with the group leader. I decided I would never again join any group just because I was invitd by a friend. Whether a religious group or business type situation being a joiner brought me nothing but grief.
My parents met in a Christian Cult, The Way Ministry. Essentially they believe in many similar things except they do not believe in the Trinity, which is crucial in all sects of Christian faith. They got out of it when they were still young, but interestingly, the older I get, the more I see how my dad still very much hangs onto the words of people he finds value in and often will go against or adjust his foundational beliefs if the person claims they are doing work for the Lord. He also ironically used the Frog cliche to explain to me as a kid how people can use tactics like that to make you feel comfortable while slowly boiling you as they adjust things each time. It’s very interesting for me to see someone get out of a cult, but still put blind faith into some ideologies because the person thinks they both agree so much. People can be lead astray so easily, even if they already got out of a bad situation.
@@deadandburied7626LOL If your denomination altered the first church, then its a cult itself. Even believing some random Jewish magician was a demigod was considered a cult when it first started. Reread the Pauline letters. They are dated prior to the Jesus gospels. Paul sounds like a textbook cult leader.
It makes sense, something wonderful on the surface. The chains of guilt and obligation are introduced slowly and mixed with positive reinforcement. Boundaries are eroded bit by bit. Sense of self is diminished bit by bit. My own family is a cult so although my mother was no keith ranieri, I understand the dynamics.
If the graphic design for the meditation or prayer flyer is too good, it is probably a cult. If the flyer is just from a copy machine. designed with clip art or from a mimeograph, that is probably a church. Even better, if their website design hasn't been updated in 20 years, that is also probably a church.
you're right! This applies to all non-profit organizations that collect donations. Just say "wow, the flyer is great" and if you don't hear back "yes one of our members has a printing company and donats them" the organisation has too much money and/or isn't using it well.
Working at Disneyland felt like being in a cult. It was awful, they took my identity from me and tried to force me to be something I'm not. All the while alternating between love-bombing and abuse and trying to convince me that "we're all one big happy family".
Joined a cult to be with the woman I loved and I regret it deeply. I’m conflicted to this day but you wouldn’t know it with how functional I am. Kudos to every escapee.
Feels a little ... paranoid. I was raised in a cult and am no longer involved. I'm out. I can get invited to yoga or a spin class without thinking that person is love bombing me. Don't use examples like, "Hey do you want to go get a coffee." That's just normal. You could use the example of your distant cousin saying "Hey do you want to go get a coffee and talk about a great new opportunity?" (omg run)
I hear you. And i dont think she was trying to insinuate that those are “cults”… in and of themselves… but more so about letting something dominate your time, personality, and money. Going to a spin class is fine… but we have all heard of and seen the OBSESSIVES. The point was … “the allure” is essentially the same …and it can be subtle and seem normal.
I kept thinking the same thing as I watched this video. I totally understand the dangers of cults and how important it is to give people information so they can protect themselves but I think her warning signs are way too general and are gonna make some people suspicious of ANY friendly behaviour.
@@muriel5826 and why not be suspicious, we’re all raised by unconscious parents who turn into cult leaders, you can’t really leave your family, certainly not easily! Cults are everywhere, I’m sorry this lady thinks only here cult was a cult! School was a cult, offices can be cults, football teams Cults are everywhere let’s understand why we as humans give away so much of our power
I don’t think those were her examples of red flags. She even said that those things weren’t bad on their own. I think she was just emphasizing that cults are not obviously cults, they can take the forms of totally normal things- like a yoga or spin class. They can seem totally normal on the surface, and if you don’t know that, you might not notice that amongst the normality of asking you to get coffee are little sprinkles of red flags. That was how I interpreted it, anyway.
Great talk. I was in a sorority and got free of it. I appreciate you teaching cult literacy and that cults don't always look like you think... eyes wide shut and all. They really do attach themselves to 'nice things' to be more attractive. All the while drip feeding you doctrine. Seek safely everyone. God be with you.
A particular type of cult that doesn't get as much notoriety as deserved as martial arts cults. I was involved in one during the 1990s (In Michigan) & it took me YEARS to (1) realize it was a cult & (2) learn to establish boundaries. Unfortunately, I moved to Portland & found myself in ANOTHER martial arts cult. It was smaller & less commercial than my 1st one but both martial arts schools hit more-or-less all of your red flags & a few that you didn't mention, to boot. I've reconciled a lot of my trauma & have even found comfort other martial arts schools but sometimes I still panic & have flashbacks.
Her emotions and wavering voice reveals an honesty and care for her message. I am on a journey of questioning and challenging the world around me and actively learning about the past so history doesn't repeat itself
Look, I dont want to smear the entire multi-level marketing universe, but it would be truly naive not to recognize the connection between MLM and cultish techniques and methods.
I enjoyed this video. She is articulate and I felt she at many times was telling some of my thoughts and the life I went through while being isolated. Wish others who have had these terrible true life experiences to speak out to others or write a journal about the truth
Loved this talk! Sarah, I don't know if you'll ever read this, but I can feel how much talking about this was tough for you, but I want to thank you for your courage. This talk reminded me that there's still a lot of good people around the world and we need to take care of each other, to protect ourselves from those that want to take advantage.
Very helpful! This is one of the few cult talks I've seen that described green flags as well as red flags. Green flags matter, because we're social animals.
Thank you for this, I tried so hard to be loved by my local church group. I volunteered, donated money and time, and went to every event they held. I tried to fit, but I don’t believe in god so they burned me. I believe in social and community bonding . I thought that that was what God was about. I was wrong, god only loves the few.. heaven help them! (Yes I spelled god without a capital).
I watched the documentary that you were in and I was very proud of you for what you did. I'm glad I found this Ted talk today. Reminder to all the commenters religion of any type is man-made. A relationship with a higher power is what you seek
The first cult I escaped was my family! With love and affection my beloved parents attempted to make me a Catholic. I was done with it at age 14 but they made me participate until 18. They were never mean about it but the very threat of their disapproval was enough to keep me in their cult until 18. It was Stockholm Syndrome without the kidnapping because my parents didn't have to kidnap me. They already owned me.
Was in a job that was run by a ceo who used to be a Jehovah witness Used most of the tricks When I quit- it was indeed like quitting a cult. Completely shunned, no contact with anyone… …although later few others got out and we did reconnect Fucking weird experience. Ultimately what saved me was… my then 4 year old daughter. And a year earlier my father died. Two events that shook me to the core and changed me and… suddenly the tricks didn’t work. I woke up.
Sorry about your experience. I was raised in the Jehovah's Witness cult. I have been out for many years. I've been deprogramming. But my upbringing still messes me up sometimes.
My older brother said something to me in high school - that so many people were compulsive joiners - they were the kids who were in everything - the cheerleaders, the slide rule club, the service club, the baseball team, the basketball team, the wrestling team, the swim team. When it came time to create the yearbook, their faces were all over the place from cover to cover. So I asked myself why? Why do these people feel like that have to belong to everything? Well, the answer is obvious. They didn't feel like they belonged at home. Pretty much spells it all out. Sheep follow a leader. If you cannot think independently, you're not thinking - you're reacting to emotions. Those who do not have control of their emotions are doomed to cults and compulsive joining - until they meet their death.
I never wanted to join anything, and was always fine keeping my own company. Not too say I don't enjoy the company of other people - I'm not some kind of antisocial misanthrope - but I've never felt the need to "belong" to something. But typical cult recruitment techniques are like a repellant to me. But I understand many people have a much higher need for socializing and belonging, and these cretins prey on it.
Actually, in order to get into a good college, you have to show your participation in high school activities and clubs. That’s a real motivator for someone who really does t want to join anything.
Thank you for speaking up and sharing. In case it also helps, in my experience healthy relationships are never always too easy nor too hard. Nor does it switch from easy to hard too fast in a blink of an eye. You are better with it or even need it, but it does not consume your life and you still are you even without it all the time. I find it true with people, things, even food. Always try to do better but you are enough. You will be ok.
I loved this thing you said, "always try to do better, but you are enough". The perfect balance between contentment with how things are and the need to grow.
I knew/dated a man once who said hed been raised in a cult. Eventually I asked him "why?" He said he never thought about it. His parents took him away from it when he was 16 but the mindset is still with him. I'm not sure what path he'll take in the future but I don't think he's ever seen it as a bad thing to be involved in. Maybe somebody can do a Ted Talk on that someday.
To protect yourself from a cult, or undue influence: 1. Look up and learn more about critical thinking skills. 2. Practice having the courage to think critically, to question out loud, to disagree, and to walk away if need be. 3. Be cautious about joining. Do your research on a group, first. 4. Read (not just listen, but read) directly from sources from across the ideological spectrum on any issue, and in general. 5. Seek out diverse information sources. For example, listen to a different news source every night, from across the ideological spectrum. Read from different newspapers.
People absolutely do join cults on purpose. Case in point: scientology. That was known to be a cult in the mid-70's and it persists today as such, but poeple join.
I agree. Mark Vicente and Sarah Edmondson do say "nobody joins a cult; they join a good thing!" However, growing up in the 70's a LOT of people deliberately sought out cults, because they wanted something "different" "off the beaten path" "exclusive" or simply, just to challenge societal norms. They didn't equate "cult" with "destructive cult" however; also, even in the early twentieth century and also, in the 1800 hundreds there were cults that attracted upper class people who went against various norms of society; there followers were considered eccentric or iconoclasts.
@@miriamhavard7621I think the same word means different things. If I decide to start worshipping a non-mainstream god, spirit, power, or principle, I am knowingly joining a cult. Technically, all religions are cults. Many mainstream religions tell you believers are loved and forgiven any wrongs, nonbelievers will be punished and you must be wary of the unbelievers who will lead you astray because they are working for the Enemy, even unknowingly. I can be a solitaire witch revering faeries and nature spirits, never spend any money on others, and might feel myself to be a cultist if I am spiritual about that relationship. 🧙♀️🧚♂️
The recruitment strategies are fine tuned to suit the environment. For instance when Scientology tried to recruit my two friends and I, they told us how they could help us study better (aptitude tests). They told us they didn't shun any religion (we were all Christians). And lastly they said nothing about being a cult. This wasn't in America, so we didn't know anything about the "organization." They had set up shop across our university, and we had no idea what it was about. It wasn't until I looked them up and read all the scary stories online that I bailed. PS this was around 2009-2010 for context.
Thank you Sarah! One big overarching rule in life is that humans are humans. We’re imperfect and complicated creatures capable of doing both good and bad. If you’ve put someone on a pedestal, think they are perfect and follow them blindly, you’re being manipulated. This can happen between two people and it can happen in a big group. Cults come in many sizes and social dynamics
Came to see how well it applied to the modern left. Definitely become a religion imo. As suggested by that comment. But I am more independent, used to lean left though. That said 2 min in it's a dead match so far.
Yeah ,but what’s a Cult without a leader most hate Biden or any one for that matter in the Left,especially knowing America is Controlled by a Foreign entity.They choose the Leaders.
I was in a cult for a year. And it was a dance troupe. I called it out, did my part to push out the leader and she left. But so did all her followers. Who were my friends. People who I saw every week for hours at a time. And now I'm alone. And the cult lives on. Under a new name. It can happen to anyone, and it can look like anything.
My ex boyfriend (after meeting the family and his 13 yo son, planning to buy a home together…..) dumped my on my bday,”i think we need to take some space.”(we saw each other MAYBE once a week) and ghosted 2 weeks after that. I wish i could know what changed his mind. But it has been 14 months and i am thankful for the learning experience.
Sarah, you look amazing. I watched the entire HBO series "The Vow", just a few years after Leah Remini's much publicized show on Scientology. Support these courageous women.
Good advice. I’m envious of her ability to trust, and connect with others. The opposite has its risks too. Being skeptical can lead to cynicism and an absence of belonging.
But very few people talk about the wealthiest and largest cult in America. Why not? It has almost every characteristic Sarah talked about. Has millions of members.
@@MonkeyFreeZone If you believe that man can raise the dead, walk on water and do amazing miracles, It is very likely that you will believe in most conspiracy theories. I was that way.
@@PatrickThreewit I think the best thing is not to have a strong adoration or hatred towards a situation where someone or something ! I would not say that « Cult » is great or bad ! It’s how each person use it . . . It’s really important to have a critical mind, analysis, logic according to the situation ! This allows not to be governed by your emotions but to have a neutral thought and balance thought towards the situation ! And especially learning and understanding . . . (Not the same as believing, it’s more neutral mind) . . .
A good one, I read about Buddhist thought and it is well explained. I have seen examples of people or masters who practice it right and others who use it to kill people (for example some extremist bouddhist in Sri Lanka or Burma). You see that we don’t talk about the ideology here in the circumstance, we are really talking about human behavior but no longer an ideology ! That’s why it depends on how each person use it . . . It’s the same on any kind of concepts or ideology . . .
I feel you. Thank you for your bravery, Sarah. We all make mistakes and from our mistakes we acknowledge something then now you see? It was a hard journey but this has become your way to change the world into a better place 🧡🙏🏻😚🌿🌎🦋💕
I'm always stunned at how people can't see the root of the problem. They keep thinking that there's something out there with the "sense of connection" or the "feeling of belonging" that they're craving that isn't harmful. They keep trying to fill the hole without realizing that the hole is the problem.
@@russgodinho3358 Check PEW Research, the largest demographic study in the world, for the growth in this country and in the world of each religion and you will learn of the rise of the "nones" or the non-affiliated with organized religion. The "nones" are currently the 3rd largest group in the world and they make up one third of all Americans. Christianity is declining in America, but definitely not the "nones".
I think as humans, we're naturally social creatures who seek to build relationships and find a community to at least some extent (some of us more than others), and that's not inherently unhealthy nor does it mean we have a hole (although of course, it can come from an unhealthy place, anything can). It's just about how and with whom we seek those relationships and that community. Many communities are not cults, and are instead positive parts of people's lives. Unfortunately, some are, and I think this video did a great job of identifying red and green flags.
I don’t know if my dad came up with this, but he always told me: “before you label yourself as crazy, take a look around and make sure you’re not surrounded by assholes.”
Nuts joined.
BEST. ADVICE. EVER.
Love to your Father. MY parents especially Mom was like this. She gave the best advice.
We have an inverse corollary in the horse world: if you don't know a crazy horse person, it might be you.
A similar quote is attributed to a fiction writer named William Gibson, but I think there’s an earlier source.
I spent 40+ years in an abusive family dynamic. After walking away, I realized it was “run like a cult” by my mother. So yes, families can be cult-like as well.
Me too. Sadly, the leader sa all of his daughters. The mother was an accomplice as when each started to speak up individually, she silenced them for the sake of his image. Cut Ties with parents and distanced from siblings already 9 years. Healing started really transforming me until then, previous efforts on therapy always failed as I did not disclose the situation completely.
Same. My family was a mini cult. Coercive control and mind games and abuse. Sacrifice for the leader, you belong to them, and they will try to destroy you when you leave.
@@KSouthworth my therapist is the one that told me: you don’t leave, they throw you away. 18+ months later, they won’t leave me alone. Still smearing me, still stalking me online. I just want to keep moving forward. And I completely feel you. Hugs to you on your journey. I hope there is peace in it.
@@lessarey Yes. Twenty years ago they threw me away, and then they made it seem like they were such heroes for bothering to get back in touch with me. Over the years, I've slowly gone no contact with every last one of them. The patriarch was the last one. He made the barest effort to get back in touch, which I expected, because we already performed this song and dance two decades ago. Peace doesn't describe how it feels to finally be free--Nina Simone sang it best in 'Feeling Good'. But I wasn't expecting the trauma bond to still be so strong. That took some sorting. I know what it's like to heal from this kind of abuse, I'm twenty-five years on this path. We take it one step at a time, and learn our true worth. Hugs to you, as well. You've put your safety first, and I deeply admire you for that.
Same here. When I was 26 my mother requested that I spend the weekend with her. My body just gave up. I was not able to get up and drive to her. Even inf somebody would have told me I had to visit my mother or I will die I couldn’t go to her. I listened to my body. It took me 15 years of therapy. I never looked back. I don’t miss her AT ALL.
This is one instance where being a little antisocial and not being a "joiner" has naturally inoculated me against getting involved in cults or MLMs.
Ik5
People who think they're immune are at higher risk
@@thinkforyourself-t6l well I've made it through 57 years without getting involved in one, don't think I'm going to start now
Make no mistake, it has made you resistant, but not immune to joining a cult. The only way to not join a cult is to not join ANYTHING and take NO SIDE. That is not a fulfilling life for most of us, even most of us anti-social ones.
❤😎
As someone who was raised in a cult their entire life and got out in my early 30's, I believe you've not mentioned the most important hallmark of a cult. They will discourage any other journey. There's is the 'best' way, and questioning it using logic and reason is basically not well accepted.
True…I was the same. They are the only place to find answers. They convince people that they can’t survive outside on their own. Questions aren’t allowed.
I think she talks about at 10:38
It’s **theirs* not there’s
She said that
Safe and Effective?
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There is a book called Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism by Amanda Montell. It’s a fascinating read about how cults and cult-like groups use language to draw people in and to exercise control. The author also looks at how much modern marketing uses the language of cults to create brand loyalty.
The HubermanLab podcast uses these tactics.
Thanks for this reading recommendation 😊
Sarah Edmondon and Nippy interviewed Amanda on their podcast A Little Bit Culty and they do a great job of reviewing the concepts in her book. Fantastic listen along with the book!
It was somewhat mentioned around 10:30
I’ve read this book and 💯 recommend it
I went to a known religious/spiritual center once. The whole vibe was group think, no individual process. When I asked "Where's the bathroom?" Two people linked arms with me on both sides and said 'we'll go with you." That was enough for me. Never went back.
WTF you couldn’t even take a leak or a dump by yourself? They didn’t want you to go to the bathroom alone because I didn’t want you to escape. I’m glad you got away and you got away fast.
LOL thats actually hilarious. Did they wipe for you also?
That is absolutely insane.
This is so comical😂
If I had seen that, I'd have immediately turned around and left.
That moment of "screw this, I'm outta here!"
Sadly the best inoculation to a cult is having been in a cult. Being raised in one makes me VERY sensitive to anything that slightly seems like one.
Actually, statistically, people who have already been in a cult are some of the most likely people to join another one. I'm really glad you got out and are standing strong!
@@alreadytired6515 really? I am atheist, and i believe that is a powerful defense against cult like behavior too. Even so, cults are very ez to spot, many people choose to not avoid them, due to mental illness that was not treated.
Yeah, SC Justice Clarence Thomas's wife says different. She was deprogrammed from one cult, only to gleefully jump right into another.
@@Mister_Listener this speaker grew up in a very nonreligious household. Atheism is no longer some vaccine against this stuff, thats the whole point of her talk
@@JoiedeVivienne exactly right!
I was born in a cult. It was not fair. I never had the choice to look at the organization and choose to join or not. I finally woke up and got my act together and escaped when I was about 25.
JW?
Was it easy getting away? Did you make other attempts and captured and punished for it like in movies?
That took bravery most people don't have.
I feel like it's almost easier when you are born into it. That's why Catholic converts are always serious latin mass veils and all and we cradle Catholics are like "yeah but will the Knights of Columbus be serving beer tho that's what we want to know"
@@blaisemacpherson7637 ginger beer? I'm in.
My former workplace used MUCH of the language she uses as examples, and it makes sense why it was so hard for me to leave despite feeling burned out. I felt like I was abandoning a place that "needed me" when in reality, I was no more irreplaceable than the next employee. Dont ever let a company make you feel like you can't leave. In fact, you probably SHOULD.
I can totally relate. Direct Supply in Milwaukee is very cultish, I got fired for refusing to drink the cool aid, thankfully my military training kept my morals and behavior in check.
PruittHealth SAME. ANY workplace says “we are a FAMILY”. Means NO BOUNDARIES
Capitalism itself is a cult. Almost all corporations use cult methods
Amazon?
Meta?
Avoid "cults of personality," organizations that are focused on a single personality: their zealous and magical leader.
Like Tesla!
Jordan Peterson and co.
@@glitteryroses Does JP require anything special or extreme from his "followers"?
@@argh_666 Elon Musk doesn't seem to require anything of his "followers," so not a Tesla cult. Could be an EV cult, but Musk doesn't head it.
Trump and MAGA
It’s a lonely world after defecting from a cult . Seems like nobody understands the level of “love” and “friendship” you experienced. And you’re left to journey the world they demonized only to find out, gradually, how good freedom feels. You discover the beauty of life , and you do it without the people you shared your whole life with. And you know it was wrong but you miss having that “family” around. Thanks for healing my heart a little today
Getting divorced feels that way too. You feel unburdened and finally free, but you have to remind yourself to not miss the companionship, to never forget the emotions that turned everything sour until you could never trust that person again.
Sarah, watching that HBO series gave me the courage to escape a 30 year toxic marriage and ended up literally saving my life.
That’s an incredible feat! Love that!
Glad you made it
I don't marry in the 1st place.
😮😮
I understand, having a kid, what it's like being tethered indirectly to a narcisist.
Looking at you , Landmark. I had a person who I thought was a really genuine friend who wanted to help me during a very tumultuous time in my life. Try really hard to recruit me into landmark and it almost cost me more than I could ever afford. I'm so glad I realized quickly what was going on and got away. I asked that person firmly with a text message to never discuss landmark or anything to do with landmark with me ever again, she promptly replied okay and that she understood and all of a sudden. She never wanted to hang out with me ever again. I realized in that moment she was never a friend at all
Oh wow. I think I’m technically a Landmark graduate. This was about 25 years ago in Chicago before I left home for the military. Going through it, it just felt like church but without the presence of God included. Looking back, it still felt that way for the most part. Nowadays, I would tell anyone considering Landmark to just find their local chapter of Toast Masters instead to get the same experience for much cheaper if not free.
My former employer tried to force me to join Landmark. I went to their orientation having no idea what it was. Fortunately, just from what I had learned in my college general psychology course, I was able to recognize it as a cult pretty quickly. I ended up quitting that position not long after.
We should be taught how to recognize cults in public schools. Most of the other people in that orientation seemed oblivious to how they were being manipulated.
Absolutely. Went through the Landmark 3.5 day experience 10 years ago. Awful. Brainwashing. Hazing.
What is Landmark?
What is landmark?
Cult signs (in video):
Assumption of neediness.
Expensive.
Loaded Language.
Lawsuits or Bad Press.
Definitive answers.
Things cults don't tend to have:
Questions are welcomed.
You can exit drama-free.
Healthy amount of commitment.
Holds up to your research.
By every single one of these metrics, Mormonism is a cult, even today.
Expensive: $100,000 watches, $400 gold spray painted shoes. Definitive answers: trumps the only one who knows what is going on. You shall not question trump or you will not be reelected. They don’t have a healthy amount of commitment…. Hats, shoes, trucks with his face on it, trump birthday parties. Hence MAGA is a cult
Thank you for this.
Before this whole thing blew up I met someone who was in Nexivm, he hired me to design some flyers so he could promote it. When I asked him for the logo and he didn't have a jpg file, I told him I could just look it up online.
He said "yeah... you might find some stuff online about them being a cult, but it's just because the parent of some members is sore about his daughters cutting contact with him. Don't pay any attention to it"
So of course I read the whole article and was glad I never went to one of the meetings I was invited to.
OMG, talk about a red flag!🚩
Not the brightest fellow, the man who hired you, is he?
I wouldn't have even done the flyers. I would not have wanted to be associated with them in any way.
I'm a former right-wing evangelical cult member of the American flavor. I was indoctrinated upon birth by my parents.
I've been out for over 20 years and I still struggle with some of the lies I was force-fed.
I also struggle with my relationship with my parents because they are extremely rigid in their beliefs and hold a lot of hatred for people who are not white evangelicals like them.
Sorry to read about your relationship with your parents. It sucks how these deep seated beliefs rip relationships apart.
If beliefs rip apart families, it's a cult. Cults all isolate and divide.
Yet the Bible is about love!
Struggle with what those lies were??? Or in believing their still lies??
@@karalangenberg1124 I struggle with the impact the lies had/have on my life because I was force-fed those lies in the most important/influential years of my life: ages 0-18. I had no other option/choice than to believe what I was being taught. I was taught some incredibly harmful, damaging, poisonous ideas. I am left with CPTSD and religious trauma to try and heal from.
Not religious at all, but once attended church w/friend after id been robbed. The church asked for a donation. When i told them i was just robbed and i couldn't spare any. The answer was, still donate and the lord will provide when the time comes. Thats all i needed to stay away. Turns out she left the church for cult like behavior.
I escaped Evangelicalism. It’s a cult imo
Mormonism (or The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints for those who have the time of day) has similar policies to what happened with the donation debacle and also flies a lot of the red flags mentioned in her talk. I met some great people growing up in it, but the organization itself does so many toxic things and leaving did a lot of good for my mental health.
@@Erik_Caballero many people who commit to churches are good intended. (And it seems to keep them decent) but always with anything we have to tread with caution
Never judge a church or and religion by it’s abusers and abuse
@@bryanbeeman5256 just judge the faulty doctrine.
Ex Scientologist here. I was born into it and had really believed it to be based on science. The big thing that set me off was the fact that I looked up some anti Scientology propaganda as they like to call it or black PR. Just wanted to see why there was so much hate. It all came together. I asked one of their staff members about what they thought about what I watched, and the guy was like: "why were you watching that?" Later he told me that the people making that stuff are trying to destroy Scientology and if you keep watching it, you will have issues with your auditing (a bullshit version of regression therapy to enlighten you that costs thousands of dollars) . They made me do something called an ethics handling. In other words, make me realize what I did was wrong and for me to be apart of Scientology I needed to make a choice if I was the enemy or the good guy. I had to write a bunch of papers on what I saw and what I was going to do to not do it again. This was done in a basement area they had in an old building they were in. Very uncomfortable at the time, and sadly that's were they would do their auditing. In a small room with no windows. It wasn't a horrible place. But a far cry from what it was supposed to be according to their founder L Ron Hubbard. Now they just came out with their new building in Chicago. Costs millions. Millions from donations from people who drive used toyotas, and economy cars. Most of these people are struggling to make ends meet. That's not what is promised in the teachings. My parents were and still are those people. Sadly, I have to deal with their connection to the Church. I can't convince them otherwise. It's pretty much been an awkward and hostile limbo over the years. I do my best to not cause an argument. I love them both. But I hate what they have chosen.
It's amazing that you are able to stay connected with your parents and understand their flaws and still love them. Appreciate your effort to maintain your relationship with your parents while dissociating from their beliefs
Thank you for having the courage to speak the truth and seek justice! This is so much more common than we care to acknowledge.
Thanks so much Alexandra!
I won't mention the company's name. But a friends son has pretty much turned his whole life over to a MLM organization. Over five years now. He went from being this sweet, curious friendly young man to an automaton who just spews slogans and toxic positivity. He believes that if he can just bring enough people in "under" him, he will soon have a huge glass house on the beach and he'll never have to work a day in his life again. In 5 years he's brought in less than 10 people and some of them ended up dropping out. He still scopes out people at coffee shops and tries to make seemingly innocent small talk. He then tells them he knows how they can make a lot of money and be financially solvent for the rest of their lives. Hes been asked to leave at least one coffee shop. He buys boxes of products from the MLM company to make it look like he's got a real business going. But he just buys those items and those boxes sit in a closet as he tries to pawn them off on family and friends, what few non MLM friends he still might have. Its so sad to watch this young man who was smart and kind and friendly become a shill for a MLM organization that just rips people off.
So very very sad 😱
I wish that he could be introduced to some honest money adviser who could shake him to look back how little money he has actually done with that MLM company. And then, suggest some other strategy to him, like property investments etc. If he likes selling stuff and talking to people, then he could work in selling stuff or in marketing industry.
So sad!
I think I know the company of which you speak
Amway?
My exhusbands parents belonged to a very well known MLM (am way). He remembers the garage full of product. He and his siblings, along with their cousins were left a large sum of money when their grandparents passed. His parents managed to lose a large amount of it to the MLM. And they still faithfully used their products till the day they died. Pretty dispicable imo
I still remember her pawning old product off to ppl for Christmas. I got some very old nasty perfume one year.
A buddy of mine considered one of those and actually tried to sell crap for a while and then dropped it and when he did he was like "yeah I dodged a bullet there. I could already tell that every time I walked into a room people would be like oh s#!t here comes [name] and he is going to talk to us about [product]
I'm an American living in Japan and about 20 years ago I was walking to the train station and a very attractive young woman suddenly stopped me and asked if I wanted to get married. I was taken aback for a moment, then joked something like I had a girlfriend and I didn't think I could handle anything else at the moment. She probed a bit further, "Is it serious?", and tried to imply that relationships between foreign men and Japanese women rarely last, etc. She explained she was with a religious group and through them she had found true happiness, etc. We finally parted ways and she gave me some literature in English about her group. I didn't recognize the name on it, but later when I read through it a little I realized it was the Unification Church, or the "Moonies" as we used to call them in Massachusetts where they had a presence when I was growing up. Now I just remember it as a funny little encounter, but I can see how someone who might be feeling kind of lost or lonely could be easily drawn in by an attractive person who seems very empathetic and interested in them...
Moonies got their sales pitch perfected. They fooled many people!
Ha - as a former "Moonie" who spent some time in Boston (1978) I'm glad you didn't fall into their influence. Even I would have been intrigued by a pretty young Japanese girl approaching me like that!
@@suchanhachan In the mid-70s the Moonies haunted every airport and shopping center in America. When they wanted me to quit school, sell my car and give them the money I walked away. They were quite persistent and angry but after a solid month of phone calls and banging on the door they left.
Although I never joined, I was "involved" with the Moonies for a few years when they were trying to recruit people in Las Vegas. They almost got me with their beautiful female Japanese missionaries but I always resisted. I even got to visit one of Moon's affluent houses where he raised his children. I was in a very depressing time in my life and so I guess I naturally fell in with them because of their welcoming nature. After a while I knew it was wrong when I began noticing their devious schemes and underhanded techniques to lure people to worship Moon. The Unification Church is really nothing more than a family business empire masquerading as a religious peace movement.
The number one way you know you've joined a cult, is if you give until you have nothing left, and its still not good enough. You aren't good enough, and they make you feel like you have nothing to offer them, or anyone else. Period. Forever.
That's what religion does.
Wow
@@PatrickThreewit I agree. A relationship is much more important than religion.
If you already have nothing left, that seems like too late to determine if you're in a cult😅
Religion is just another vehicle for this form of power and control. Happens in any system that involves more than one person…relationships, families, workplaces, etc.
I clicked on this with definite interest that it might be useful info, but man did it exceed all of any expectations I could've had - I'm blown away by the power in this short/digestible talk, and the essential information it makes available. So grateful for Sarah Edmondson for having the courage to engage in this and to TEDTalk.
Oh, thank you!! Just got myself out of a religious cult in March after 50 years of comfort in blind obedience. Ministers’ child abuse and misusing members’ money opened my eyes to the way I’ve been “lovingly” kept in all these years. This talk completely resonates with me to see the calculated con game. I don’t blame myself as much now for joining and staying in. Still deconstructing.
@user-jp1en2iy6l Congrats for getting out! Hope you will fully heal with time... 🍀
Proud of you. Thank you for sharing. I wish you well on your journey. I can never imagine what you had to go through. ❤️
As people watch this. I want you to think of how often you or your children are told to be a “team player”. The “team player” mentality is a method leaders at cults, sports, churches, politics and businesses get people to give their entire life to that leaders purpose. Stop the insanity, its not always a good thing to be a “ team player”. When you hear the term you better run. Don’t give your life or children’s lives to some BS leader.
MAGA hats, Trump flags, pictures of Trump and Jesus hugging, pictures of Trump riding an eagle while holding a machine gun... subtle signs like that.
And they really believe they’re the good guys. Very dangerous. Don’t blink or turn your back on MAGA agendas.
Agree 100% but the other side has one too.
Oppressor/oppressed narrative (woke). Blm, lgbt, pro Palestine there’s quite a few other causes too. All have flags and a “if you don’t stand with this” mentality.
The most good hearted, kind and empathetic people fall victim to that one
Exactly what I was thinking of
Mega and the woke left are both living political cults lol. The amount of denial from people on both sides when you call it out is hilarious.
You know the "riding an eagle with a machine gun" or "hugging Jesus" is a joke, right? You don't think that's serious, do you?
As a former member of a cult in the 70's, I have always tried to warn people about the danger of cult mentality, and the vulnerability of humans to coercive persuasion. It's gratifying to see the awareness of this problem growing.
You must be busy now with informing MAGA.
As a former born-into a Christian fundamentalist cult (third generation), I got out at 20. I am now very apprehensive about joining almost any group. Thank you Sarah for your work to educate people who think (arrogantly) that they would never... some of us don't get the choice.
Same here. Born into it and finally escaped in my 30’s. Still admire Jesus, but the fan club - that is a big nope.
It's wonderful you were able to come to the realization that you were in a cult. When it has been going on for multiple generations it must have been a way of life rather than a set of ideas. Very brave of you to take the decision to leave.
Hey it's the NXIVM lady from The Vow! Good on her for getting out.
Such a great documentary series!
My dad said Never join a group that humiliates you. I think he meant for me not to join a college sorority, but it made me aware of weak people who need to have followers.
Dated a girl briefly who'd been sucked into the Landmark Forum cult. Truly scary to realize these groups operate amongst us and the kind of power they can have over people. Landmark Forum is based on a similar approach to Scientology (since it's a spin-off group) - use people's personal trauma to humiliate and control them and replace any sense of self with the group.
My ex bf joined them and they tried to recruit me. They wanted all my money and my family's. Seriously they wanted me to tell my mom to mortgage her house (which she never would've done) I explained that to them and they finally let me go. It was to my advantage I had no money to give them. They kept saying my life would improve exponentially after I paid for and took this class. I'm glad I was with people who saw thru them and told me and my bf they were a cult. People tried to warn him and he laughed it off at first. A year later he showed up to invite me to another meeting. Then he disappeared. That was 20 years ago I haven't seen or spoken to him since
Also Lighthouse !!!
It's more about total control through small moves.
It involves removing opposition, silencing free will, " us versus them" mentality, group over individual mentality, exclusive societies, social identity, identifying dangers that don't exist....
Politics
Science
Religion
A cult tells you that you are at your best when you are around those in your cult, because those other people are dangerous.
They tap into a fear we are born with.
"Only we can be right."
"Others should be punished."
Science has self-correcting mechanisms and yields real results. Thank you, science, for providing the knowledge that's kept me alive. Science is not a cult. Although a cult leader might tell you it is.
@@streamtracker
Science has been used to destroy more lives than any religion.
From bombs to guns to chemical and biological weapons, the sciences have been there to make people unalive in new and previously unimaginable ways..
To ignore that there are huge industrial complexs built for scientists to develop new and more deadly processes is to ignore reality.
Science is absolutely a cult. Any new discovery is immediately met with opposition.
Although a cult member wouldn't acknowledge this.
@@streamtracker Science has been used to destroy more people than any religion.
From bombs to guns to chemical and biological weapons, the sciences have been there to make off people in new and previously unimaginable ways..
To ignore that there are huge industrial complexs built for scientists to develop new and more deadly processes is to ignore reality.
Science is absolutely a cult. Any new discovery is immediately met with opposition.
Although a cult member wouldn't acknowledge this.
@streamtracker
Science has destroyed more lives through wars and inventions than religion ever has.
Science regularly shuts down debate and destroys people's abilities to work in their professions.
It's not supposed to, but it does, just like religion.
Although a cult member might not tell you it is. They need to protect their ability to see man as a god.
@@streamtracker
Scientists wage war with ever new and inventive ways to destroy the human body.
Even members of the scientific community have regularly been silenced for non-conforming opinions. Although a cult member would tell you they're the good guys.
I’m so glad she’s safe. So much of what she described here exists in parasocial groups too. Podcast and social media influencers with a sick amount of control over their followers.
She was branded with a tattoo. Insane
Beautiful message and beautiful person. She could just go on with her life, but decided to share her experience with the hopes of helping others learn from her mistakes. ❤
A real life hero
I so wish this girl the best life going forward.
woman, not girl
As a woman, if someone calls me a girl, I am flattered.
Thank you Sarah for opening up my eyes and to let me know what the red flags are regarding cults. I have seen The Vow about 4 times. The more I watch it, the more I'm so glad that you got out. Keith is where he rightfully belongs. God bless you!
You are a brave person to acknowledge your vulnerability and how you were groomed to join this unhealthy organisation. I am sure this helps protect other people. Well done.
How to avoid joining a cult?
-whenever someone claims to have all the answers you call them a liar and leave!😂
Sounds like evangelical Christianity.
@@PatrickThreewit those were the ones I left. LOLOL
I have the answer for that >:).
@@PatrickThreewitIt does. And left leaning politics today. And almost every group obsessed with power. Learn to see it all around, focusing it on just one, just hides the others you might subscribe to.
@@PatrickThreewit Large parts of it yes. I was in it for decades, and that's why I watched this video. It's so big there are multiple cult leaders in it, and if you try you can avoid all of them, sort of, but their influence is all around making you doubt yourself. I may come back in a year and say it was ALL a cult, but I'm not ready yet. I stuck with really sincere people who asked a lot of questions, but I suppose every cult needs sincere true believers or it falls apart.
Once you see the patterns..you see them in religions, politics, family dynamics in & out of the home etc. it’s coercive and subtle. You doubt yourself and feel depressed and stuck the more control you ALLOW them to have. You have to forcefully set boundaries with people/organizations and recognize you deserve autonomy and respect.
The creepier thing is that cults often dont start as cults.
So true!!
@unabunny585 I'm guessing as say, helping organizations and then they get out of balance through overwork, rigidity and lack of self awareness...
@unabunny585 I studied cults for quite some time in college and you’d be shocked how many stared as one or a few guys with some friends/family, starting a “club” of sorts, usually in response to an ACTUAL social/corporate/societal/religious problem or limitations. (Think corruption in local government or religious institution) this is how they get the first members, though a shared dislike of a known issue.
The difference between cults and other organizations is they tend to have a very charismatic leader who makes a lot of assertions, speeches, and confidently really SEEMS to know what he’s talking about. He passionately pontificates and makes absolute (unverifiable) statements about how things are and how they should be. Opinions are stated as facts without room for debate or doubt. The path to cult is pretty short from here where members begin follow his leadership and thoughts without question, as a shorthand for not being as knowledgeable about subjects themselves. (Other strong personalities or thinkers get weeded out at this point)
Regardless of original intent, the leader now has full control over the group and of course, this is where power corrupts absolutely. Members are showered with praise and position for their commitment levels which creates the social pressure needed for newcomers. Now the operation is in full swing with members fully embracing the ideology and leader direction, not necessarily because of deep beliefs but by the strong desire to please impress leadership (and other members who have also embraced the movement fully).
This is when the really weird stuff can happen, corruption, sexual abuse, harems, coverups, violence, you name it. It’s all because of the “swap”. When people shift from believing in purpose to believing in a person. This is why it’s almost impossible to deprogram cultist because they’ve long since checked reason at the door, so they’re used to rationalizing, gaslighting themselves, following blindly. It’s terrifying but fascinating too.
That's the truth. Sadly most start from a genuine idea to give back or assist others. When they notice the type of power they have, grown men and women submitting to them. They become "drunk" with Power and Greed then its a down spiral from there. They start to
1. change all the initial partners they started with (sometimes spouse included)
2. Become hyper perverted
3. Want no follower to have own assets- everthing must be shared.
4. Lead with Fear
More
" . . you're already whole, right now" -
Thank you Sarah. More people need to hear that and really have a chance to absorb it. Goodness knows there are all sorts of groups large and small that would like us to think we are flawed and absolutely need their "help."
Everyone MAGA needs to watch this.
Preach, sister🙏
They quit thinking or having the ability for independent thought years ago, replaced by grievance and hate.
But the won't listen
As well as feminist, red pill, LGBT activism, DEI activism, pro life, pro abortion, anti-White hatred, colorism, eugenist, flat earth, climate Activision, queer theory, Blue-ANON, and Q-ANON.
@@janemarinelli7843 Same with you Bolsheviks.
As soon as she said Nxivm I knew EXACTLY what she was talking about. :( way too much true crime. And I knew what he did to women too. You poor woman. On the other hand, a 120 year sentence for a woman beating scumbag when he was seemingly untouchable and the authorities had no clue is something to hang your hat on.
I think they let Keith go under the bus to keep people from prying too much into some other similar or related organizations.
Sounds like World Wide group
I was a part of the company 4 months and recognized right away. I felt a lot of guilt for leaving and of course the "friends" I made no longer wanted me as a friend after. I was definitely love bombed, gaslit, they tell you it's not Amway when it really is. I was not allowed to do special girl only groups with the diamond until I got to certain levels. They tell you meetings are more important than family because"this is for your family"
Cults are so scary :-/ my husband just left the Mormon church recently. I’m so glad his eyes opened !
When a church even controls your freaking underwear ! Like how did so many fall for this 😒
The Mormon church does not meet any of the cult criteria in this video, did you even watch it?
@@jaredlancaster4137 Its a cult, it is just legitimized.
For what it's worth, there are plenty of religions that have religiously significant clothing
I get that ours sounds goofier because it's underwear instead of something like a hat or a robe, but it still fulfills the same sort of function
IMO, introverts are less susceptible to cults because we don’t like to join groups.
True
But you lead them...
Agree! I shun any group that requires any kind of commitment because I know I will hate that. I also realize that everyone is susceptible for something, but I also think people pleasers are especially vulnerable.
Not with the internet now!...you sound like someone in a virtual cult!
Not true.
Also look at Dr. Robert J. Lifton - Eight Criteria for Thought Reform, and Dr. Margaret T. Singer - 6 Conditions for Thought Reform.
Buy those hats, trading cards, flags and bible 😂
Don't forget the shoes
And a monthly donation to the legal defense fund!
And tennis shoes!
@@Jimmy4video And let's not forget the steaks, the how to get rich books, and the "university" courses. And if you perform a paid service, get a 50% deposit up front.
I didn’t know about the trading cards 😆
8:09 this list of things have always felt like giant red flags to me my whole life. And even though you say you aren't condemning any of these things, "Welcome to the family" has never preceded anything good.
15:00 "Questions are welcomed" "You can ask things without being gaslit" One of these days I'll find a group like that. Too many people have that one thing they are unwilling to question which in turn dominates nearly everything in their life.
17:04 "Don't make the tools your life." is such an important sentence I just need to repeat it.
I was in somewhat a cult before. So I know she's really brave when she stands there talking about her experience. She tries her best to protect others and fixes her mistakes. I hope things go well for everyone.
When I was in my first semester of college I had a friendly, relatively attractive student comment with me. She seemed so friendly and nice. We were grabbing a coffee when she mentioned Landmark. My mom told me that it was a cult and I realized she was right. That friend invited me to a group Zoom meeting with a rich old "finance" guy who led the event. They had about two to three plants in the meeting providing sob stories of how Landmark changed them. I quit the meeting halfway through to screw with all of them. Next thing you know that "friend" began texting me frantically trying to get me to join. Sending creepy pre-planned messages like "We are waiting for you", and "You will never know your true self". Insanity.
Their comments are like something out of a horror film…
@meghan6438 yes! It was obvious that it was copied/pasted, worst of all it was very manipulative.
I hate that. And seeing other comments it sounds like many people have been targets of Landmark. I’d never heard of it before today
Society puts us in the mindset that we need validation and love from others. That's why cults are successful. The source of love is and always HAS been with us. We are born in it. There is nothing wrong with being alone. Time of reflection, growth, love, and healing can happen alone. Discernment also grows, because you know yourself and intentions. Which helps you understand other's intentions. The sad thing is that cults only are a deeper rabbithole that was created by religion. A tool used to control those who believe. I'm not opposed to messages of love and compassion. I am opposed to using those messages used to garner obedience and to create false narratives. Love has no religion, yet it's the ultimate religion.
❤️ One Love
Wow!!, 20 people agree w/you at this point….I suppose the trillions of Christians over two thousand years must've indulged in delirium for their lifetimes. Cults quickly degenerated to Religion in your order of things. There seems to be a contradiction w/your general belief system and Namastepeace1111….It's comforting that you're as discombobulated as the rest of us, but if you're unsure, as you clearly are, is it the best approach is to undervalue the beliefs of others? Mind you, if you have proof that God is a myth, and that our Lord didn't actually create the gift of Love that you value,….well, I'm all ears….After all, we're not to follow lost leaders like sheep. The people who rule our world believe in Religion, but they don't worship the same Deity that most of us do….Love is not high on their agenda…Don't believe me? Research it for yourself, because all you're doing is actually supporting them. God Bless
A cult doesn't need to be have anything to do with religion.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 👌
2 Timothy 3 💯
Wow...I'm writing that down in my journal...mahalo for sharing!
I realize that because of the way I was raised, that I was always vulnerable to cults. I left a group that was actually run in a very cult ish fashion. When I left I lost all my friends basically because they all had become a part of this group, and I was shunned because they sided with the group leader. I decided I would never again join any group just because I was invitd by a friend. Whether a religious group or business type situation being a joiner brought me nothing but grief.
For the first time in my life I feel good about not liking being around people very much. I get tired of people.
My parents met in a Christian Cult, The Way Ministry. Essentially they believe in many similar things except they do not believe in the Trinity, which is crucial in all sects of Christian faith.
They got out of it when they were still young, but interestingly, the older I get, the more I see how my dad still very much hangs onto the words of people he finds value in and often will go against or adjust his foundational beliefs if the person claims they are doing work for the Lord.
He also ironically used the Frog cliche to explain to me as a kid how people can use tactics like that to make you feel comfortable while slowly boiling you as they adjust things each time.
It’s very interesting for me to see someone get out of a cult, but still put blind faith into some ideologies because the person thinks they both agree so much. People can be lead astray so easily, even if they already got out of a bad situation.
The trinity doctrine is not essential to being a Christian. In fact pressure to make it so in denominations is cultish.
@@deadandburied7626LOL If your denomination altered the first church, then its a cult itself. Even believing some random Jewish magician was a demigod was considered a cult when it first started. Reread the Pauline letters. They are dated prior to the Jesus gospels. Paul sounds like a textbook cult leader.
Raised in one from earliest memory, and will continue to undo the damage for years. My days are so much brighter ✨️
It makes sense, something wonderful on the surface. The chains of guilt and obligation are introduced slowly and mixed with positive reinforcement. Boundaries are eroded bit by bit. Sense of self is diminished bit by bit. My own family is a cult so although my mother was no keith ranieri, I understand the dynamics.
If the graphic design for the meditation or prayer flyer is too good, it is probably a cult. If the flyer is just from a copy machine. designed with clip art or from a mimeograph, that is probably a church. Even better, if their website design hasn't been updated in 20 years, that is also probably a church.
you're right! This applies to all non-profit organizations that collect donations. Just say "wow, the flyer is great" and if you don't hear back "yes one of our members has a printing company and donats them" the organisation has too much money and/or isn't using it well.
What is good though? Considering what you can get generative AI to spit out these days.
Working at Disneyland felt like being in a cult. It was awful, they took my identity from me and tried to force me to be something I'm not. All the while alternating between love-bombing and abuse and trying to convince me that "we're all one big happy family".
MonStar you full of crap 😅
Joined a cult to be with the woman I loved and I regret it deeply.
I’m conflicted to this day but you wouldn’t know it with how functional I am.
Kudos to every escapee.
Feels a little ... paranoid. I was raised in a cult and am no longer involved. I'm out. I can get invited to yoga or a spin class without thinking that person is love bombing me. Don't use examples like, "Hey do you want to go get a coffee." That's just normal. You could use the example of your distant cousin saying "Hey do you want to go get a coffee and talk about a great new opportunity?" (omg run)
I hear you. And i dont think she was trying to insinuate that those are “cults”… in and of themselves… but more so about letting something dominate your time, personality, and money. Going to a spin class is fine… but we have all heard of and seen the OBSESSIVES. The point was … “the allure” is essentially the same …and it can be subtle and seem normal.
I kept thinking the same thing as I watched this video. I totally understand the dangers of cults and how important it is to give people information so they can protect themselves but I think her warning signs are way too general and are gonna make some people suspicious of ANY friendly behaviour.
@@muriel5826 and why not be suspicious, we’re all raised by unconscious parents who turn into cult leaders, you can’t really leave your family, certainly not easily!
Cults are everywhere, I’m sorry this lady thinks only here cult was a cult!
School was a cult, offices can be cults, football teams
Cults are everywhere let’s understand why we as humans give away so much of our power
I don’t think those were her examples of red flags. She even said that those things weren’t bad on their own. I think she was just emphasizing that cults are not obviously cults, they can take the forms of totally normal things- like a yoga or spin class. They can seem totally normal on the surface, and if you don’t know that, you might not notice that amongst the normality of asking you to get coffee are little sprinkles of red flags. That was how I interpreted it, anyway.
I don't think that was what she was saying at all.
Great talk. I was in a sorority and got free of it. I appreciate you teaching cult literacy and that cults don't always look like you think... eyes wide shut and all. They really do attach themselves to 'nice things' to be more attractive. All the while drip feeding you doctrine. Seek safely everyone. God be with you.
A particular type of cult that doesn't get as much notoriety as deserved as martial arts cults. I was involved in one during the 1990s (In Michigan) & it took me YEARS to (1) realize it was a cult & (2) learn to establish boundaries. Unfortunately, I moved to Portland & found myself in ANOTHER martial arts cult. It was smaller & less commercial than my 1st one but both martial arts schools hit more-or-less all of your red flags & a few that you didn't mention, to boot. I've reconciled a lot of my trauma & have even found comfort other martial arts schools but sometimes I still panic & have flashbacks.
Martial arts lore has a lot of culty things about it. Just watch any show where dojos fight over technique.😅
@@krishadyn5211 You are not wrong
Her emotions and wavering voice reveals an honesty and care for her message. I am on a journey of questioning and challenging the world around me and actively learning about the past so history doesn't repeat itself
Look, I dont want to smear the entire multi-level marketing universe, but it would be truly naive not to recognize the connection between MLM and cultish techniques and methods.
MLMs are a hideous combination of pyramid schemes and cult.
Enh, so many normal companies talk about themselves as a 'family.' The cult language is used because it works.
@krishadyn5211 Few things are more obnoxious that large corporations speaking this way.
Been through this myself, I know and feel those feelings at the end when she tries hard not to cry. Thank you for sharing . Xoxo
I enjoyed this video. She is articulate and I felt she at many times was telling some of my thoughts and the life I went through while being isolated. Wish others who have had these terrible true life experiences to speak out to others or write a journal about the truth
Loved this talk! Sarah, I don't know if you'll ever read this, but I can feel how much talking about this was tough for you, but I want to thank you for your courage. This talk reminded me that there's still a lot of good people around the world and we need to take care of each other, to protect ourselves from those that want to take advantage.
Very helpful! This is one of the few cult talks I've seen that described green flags as well as red flags. Green flags matter, because we're social animals.
Thank you for this, I tried so hard to be loved by my local church group. I volunteered, donated money and time, and went to every event they held. I tried to fit, but I don’t believe in god so they burned me. I believe in social and community bonding . I thought that that was what God was about. I was wrong, god only loves the few.. heaven help them! (Yes I spelled god without a capital).
I watched the documentary that you were in and I was very proud of you for what you did. I'm glad I found this Ted talk today. Reminder to all the commenters religion of any type is man-made. A relationship with a higher power is what you seek
Would love to see the more in-depth version of this talk! Is she offering longer lectures? Amazing story and bravery.
The first cult I escaped was my family! With love and affection my beloved parents attempted to make me a Catholic. I was done with it at age 14 but they made me participate until 18. They were never mean about it but the very threat of their disapproval was enough to keep me in their cult until 18. It was Stockholm Syndrome without the kidnapping because my parents didn't have to kidnap me. They already owned me.
Wow, that was powerful!
Same. The whole concept that parents have the right to force their children to participate in religion is toxic.
Beware the cult behind closed doors. Your intimate partner may seem fine, but if toxic behaviour is more than once in a blue moon... run
Such a GREAT Talk by an AWESOME Cult Fighter!
Was in a job that was run by a ceo who used to be a Jehovah witness
Used most of the tricks
When I quit- it was indeed like quitting a cult. Completely shunned, no contact with anyone…
…although later few others got out and we did reconnect
Fucking weird experience. Ultimately what saved me was… my then 4 year old daughter. And a year earlier my father died. Two events that shook me to the core and changed me and… suddenly the tricks didn’t work. I woke up.
Sorry about your experience. I was raised in the Jehovah's Witness cult. I have been out for many years. I've been deprogramming. But my upbringing still messes me up sometimes.
The fact that I can feel the emotional turmoil in her voice, she sounded on the verge of tears 😢
My older brother said something to me in high school - that so many people were compulsive joiners - they were the kids who were in everything - the cheerleaders, the slide rule club, the service club, the baseball team, the basketball team, the wrestling team, the swim team. When it came time to create the yearbook, their faces were all over the place from cover to cover. So I asked myself why? Why do these people feel like that have to belong to everything? Well, the answer is obvious. They didn't feel like they belonged at home. Pretty much spells it all out. Sheep follow a leader. If you cannot think independently, you're not thinking - you're reacting to emotions. Those who do not have control of their emotions are doomed to cults and compulsive joining - until they meet their death.
I never wanted to join anything, and was always fine keeping my own company. Not too say I don't enjoy the company of other people - I'm not some kind of antisocial misanthrope - but I've never felt the need to "belong" to something. But typical cult recruitment techniques are like a repellant to me. But I understand many people have a much higher need for socializing and belonging, and these cretins prey on it.
Wow that’s quite the stretch 😂😂😂. Some people are active in school and extraverts and some aren’t.
Some families strongly encourage school extra curricular activities.
Other people do it to be accepted at a prestigious university.
Actually, in order to get into a good college, you have to show your participation in high school activities and clubs. That’s a real motivator for someone who really does t want to join anything.
Thank you for speaking up and sharing. In case it also helps, in my experience healthy relationships are never always too easy nor too hard. Nor does it switch from easy to hard too fast in a blink of an eye. You are better with it or even need it, but it does not consume your life and you still are you even without it all the time. I find it true with people, things, even food. Always try to do better but you are enough. You will be ok.
I loved this thing you said, "always try to do better, but you are enough". The perfect balance between contentment with how things are and the need to grow.
The NXIVM documentary is really fascinating. I don't like documentaries, but this one was really well done.
I'm surprised she didn't talk about the BITE model for measuring cult status. Definitely would recommend ❤
Absolutely.
I knew/dated a man once who said hed been raised in a cult. Eventually I asked him "why?" He said he never thought about it. His parents took him away from it when he was 16 but the mindset is still with him. I'm not sure what path he'll take in the future but I don't think he's ever seen it as a bad thing to be involved in. Maybe somebody can do a Ted Talk on that someday.
I waited a long time for this. It's finally here! 🎉
To protect yourself from a cult, or undue influence:
1. Look up and learn more about critical thinking skills.
2. Practice having the courage to think critically, to question out loud, to disagree, and to walk away if need be.
3. Be cautious about joining. Do your research on a group, first.
4. Read (not just listen, but read) directly from sources from across the ideological spectrum on any issue, and in general.
5. Seek out diverse information sources.
For example, listen to a different news source every night, from across the ideological spectrum.
Read from different newspapers.
It's really, really important to think for yourself. Fundamentally so!
People absolutely do join cults on purpose. Case in point: scientology. That was known to be a cult in the mid-70's and it persists today as such, but poeple join.
I agree. Mark Vicente and Sarah Edmondson do say "nobody joins a cult; they join a good thing!"
However, growing up in the 70's a LOT of people deliberately sought out cults, because they wanted something "different" "off the beaten path" "exclusive" or simply, just to challenge societal norms.
They didn't equate "cult" with "destructive cult" however; also, even in the early twentieth century and also, in the 1800 hundreds there were cults that attracted upper class people who went against various norms of society; there followers were considered eccentric or iconoclasts.
@@miriamhavard7621I think the same word means different things. If I decide to start worshipping a non-mainstream god, spirit, power, or principle, I am knowingly joining a cult. Technically, all religions are cults. Many mainstream religions tell you believers are loved and forgiven any wrongs, nonbelievers will be punished and you must be wary of the unbelievers who will lead you astray because they are working for the Enemy, even unknowingly.
I can be a solitaire witch revering faeries and nature spirits, never spend any money on others, and might feel myself to be a cultist if I am spiritual about that relationship. 🧙♀️🧚♂️
The recruitment strategies are fine tuned to suit the environment. For instance when Scientology tried to recruit my two friends and I, they told us how they could help us study better (aptitude tests). They told us they didn't shun any religion (we were all Christians). And lastly they said nothing about being a cult. This wasn't in America, so we didn't know anything about the "organization." They had set up shop across our university, and we had no idea what it was about. It wasn't until I looked them up and read all the scary stories online that I bailed. PS this was around 2009-2010 for context.
Thank you Sarah! One big overarching rule in life is that humans are humans. We’re imperfect and complicated creatures capable of doing both good and bad. If you’ve put someone on a pedestal, think they are perfect and follow them blindly, you’re being manipulated. This can happen between two people and it can happen in a big group. Cults come in many sizes and social dynamics
Any Magas here what are your opinions 😊😅😅
I imagine people who join cults believe in something, at least at first. MAGAs are nihilists who dont know what that word means
There may be a very small overlap between Magas and people who watch ted talks.
🤣 That's the first thing I thought of, too!
Came to see how well it applied to the modern left. Definitely become a religion imo. As suggested by that comment. But I am more independent, used to lean left though. That said 2 min in it's a dead match so far.
Yeah ,but what’s a Cult without a leader most hate Biden or any one for that matter in the Left,especially knowing America is Controlled by a Foreign entity.They choose the Leaders.
I’m sooo proud of you for speaking about this. Thank you Sarah!
This was an invaluable talk thank you.
I was in a cult for a year. And it was a dance troupe.
I called it out, did my part to push out the leader and she left. But so did all her followers. Who were my friends. People who I saw every week for hours at a time. And now I'm alone.
And the cult lives on. Under a new name.
It can happen to anyone, and it can look like anything.
Her pain and anguish are palpable. Much love to this strong, courageous woman.
My ex boyfriend (after meeting the family and his 13 yo son, planning to buy a home together…..) dumped my on my bday,”i think we need to take some space.”(we saw each other MAYBE once a week) and ghosted 2 weeks after that. I wish i could know what changed his mind. But it has been 14 months and i am thankful for the learning experience.
The most heroic ted talk I’ve ever seen
Sarah, you look amazing. I watched the entire HBO series "The Vow", just a few years after Leah Remini's much publicized show on Scientology. Support these courageous women.
Good advice. I’m envious of her ability to trust, and connect with others. The opposite has its risks too. Being skeptical can lead to cynicism and an absence of belonging.
But very few people talk about the wealthiest and largest cult in America. Why not? It has almost every characteristic Sarah talked about. Has millions of members.
Being overly skeptical, perhaps. But lack of skepticism can lead to believing everything you hear, see, read, or feel. Sound like social media?
@@MonkeyFreeZone If you believe that man can raise the dead, walk on water and do amazing miracles, It is very likely that you will believe in most conspiracy theories. I was that way.
@@PatrickThreewit I think the best thing is not to have a strong adoration or hatred towards a situation where someone or something ! I would not say that « Cult » is great or bad ! It’s how each person use it . . .
It’s really important to have a critical mind, analysis, logic according to the situation !
This allows not to be governed by your emotions but to have a neutral thought and balance thought towards the situation ! And especially learning and understanding . . . (Not the same as believing, it’s more neutral mind) . . .
A good one, I read about Buddhist thought and it is well explained.
I have seen examples of people or masters who practice it right and others who use it to kill people (for example some extremist bouddhist in Sri Lanka or Burma). You see that we don’t talk about the ideology here in the circumstance, we are really talking about human behavior but no longer an ideology ! That’s why it depends on how each person use it . . . It’s the same on any kind of concepts or ideology . . .
Love to you Sarah as well as Nippy and the boys!! Love the podcast. Thank you for all you have done for the world! ❤❤❤
I feel you. Thank you for your bravery, Sarah. We all make mistakes and from our mistakes we acknowledge something then now you see? It was a hard journey but this has become your way to change the world into a better place 🧡🙏🏻😚🌿🌎🦋💕
Everything has happened for us❤
I'm always stunned at how people can't see the root of the problem. They keep thinking that there's something out there with the "sense of connection" or the "feeling of belonging" that they're craving that isn't harmful. They keep trying to fill the hole without realizing that the hole is the problem.
Strong words,…but how empty you must be. Atheists have gone the way of the Dodo my fine feathered friend.
@@russgodinho3358 Or, you're just in a cult.
The one I was in grows by 250,000 converts a year.
@@russgodinho3358 Check PEW Research, the largest demographic study in the world, for the growth in this country and in the world of each religion and you will learn of the rise of the "nones" or the non-affiliated with organized religion. The "nones" are currently the 3rd largest group in the world and they make up one third of all Americans. Christianity is declining in America, but definitely not the "nones".
I think as humans, we're naturally social creatures who seek to build relationships and find a community to at least some extent (some of us more than others), and that's not inherently unhealthy nor does it mean we have a hole (although of course, it can come from an unhealthy place, anything can). It's just about how and with whom we seek those relationships and that community. Many communities are not cults, and are instead positive parts of people's lives. Unfortunately, some are, and I think this video did a great job of identifying red and green flags.
Thank you for sharing your experience!! ❣️💯
Watched this again. Great presentation. One of the best primers on this topic I've heard.