Top posts from r/Cursedcomments on Reddit. Why aren't you on / emkay yet? Are you some kind of idiot nerd? Editor ► (uncredited) Narrator ► / damienleevoice
You know, I tried the pigs blood tip. Let’s just say the burglar was so scared he shat his pants and called the cops on me. He and I were arrested. I’m currently serving house arrest for 2 months. Idk what happened to the burglar.
@@1para1 @ok boomer JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I pretend I'm the monster in the dark every night. And each time, the police are called on me for breaking and entering. Damn you nightvison security cameras, I was just trying to get a free kid.
As someone who sleeps nude can confirm, if the house burns down I won't be too warm flooding? Hey I'm skinny dipping! Murder? Well im already ready for the autopsy
"Last thing you ate is what you have to name him" Me: A double triple bossy deluxe, on a raft, 4×4 animal style, extra shingles with a shimy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim, quadruple, ultra supreme, with the works, double batter fried... on a stick, with extra Mayo.
Fun fact: A friend of mine once gave me the 2016 world record book,which he borrowed from the library.I took it home and forgot to give it to him on Thursday when We had to return it, but he was absent so no probs there. Then our exams came and by the time they had finished,our teacher forgot about the book. And I got to keep it. I found it today,and had a good laugh about it
“Last thing you ate is what you name him” *Number 4 bacon double cheeseburger no lettuce no tomato with tater tots and lots of ketchup packets from sonic*
Please don’t use emojis If you don’t want people to insult you then I would recommend you stop using emojis Seriously no one likes emojis anymore Stop STOP STOP
3:08 If I had that power, I'd like boss music to appear whenever someone's boss showed up. Not sure how that would help but that's what I want right now.
8:04 OH MY GOD IMAGINE TAKING A PICTURE OF SOMEONE (fully clothed) STANDING IN THE TUB. YOU GO TO THE WASHROOM AND SOMEONE IS STARING AT YOU. YOU PULL BACK THE CURTAIN AND NO ONE IS THERE
My favorite.) *OP:* "Wow, 3 tattoos. You know those are permanent, right? "Me: Wow, 3 kids. You know those are permanent, right?" *REPLY:* "Technically both can be removed with lasers."
"Every sexual fantasy you've had just came true, how does you life change" Me: my never gonna come true dreams are gonna come true Edit: okay apparently my brain had a stroke while writing this comment.... It's supposed to say 'Mine are never gonna come true, I can only dream'
"Sh-" *Ad comes up.* *Realizes that my earphones were off and realizes that my mom who hates swear words is sitting next to me.* An ad actually became useful..
8:58: I've visited this angel before and it's SUPER tall. If a tornado passed through it I'm pretty sure all the handed in knifes would be cancelled out.
*notices community subreddit: www.reddit.com/r/EmKay/ * OwO? What's This?
Third reply
Third repky
fourth ecks deee
why.....
JACQUELINE LABOSSIERE
Why not
One day I wish to make a comment so cursed, that people start making religions out of it.
loser chips One day champ, one day
no, dont
We could make a religion out of this...
You mean cults.
@@PredatorH2O And the difference is?
"Why did a bunch of children just show up in heaven?"
"Anakin"
*Wheezes and starts coughing*
XerasDezarrys yeah. Well at least it’s better than dogs
Lolyoded Orangutan Wat?
*palpatine laughing*
XerasDezarrys “You see, mistakes were made. They were having a food fight and I got caught in the cross fire. So I crossed them. With my blade.”
You know, I tried the pigs blood tip. Let’s just say the burglar was so scared he shat his pants and called the cops on me. He and I were arrested. I’m currently serving house arrest for 2 months. Idk what happened to the burglar.
can i use left-over slaves instead of pigs?
@Cassandra Blomquist true, but i could still use them
You
w h a t .
I thought you would be in jail together so you can be his punishment
Oh dear...
6:46 update 1.1
*ghost elizabeth* is now added
Dang
Teacher: emergency!
Kid named ency: whomst has summoned the almighty one?
Chippy Rulez im WHEEZING
I had to read this a second time to get the kids name and this got me! Thank you for this
Leave it on 69
I adopted him and changed his name to expendable because whatever he will emerg to I’m sure it will result in his death
Nobody listens to people who say leave it on 69
"Why did all the children show up in heaven at once"
"Anakin"
*I love the person who said anakin*
yes the younglings, pretty annoying
Huh, so that’s why people called that old man down the street “anakin”...
X-Potato WAIT-
Jokes on that fuckass, they have the high ground.
Lauren Ford
Heh, heh, heh,
"You have to name him the last thing you ate" HIS NAME SHALL BE C H A L K
His name shall be *P A S T A - R O N I B U T T E R A N D G A R L I C*
It shall be…
Pizza☺️
his name shall be s o c k s
His name shall be Peanut :)
His name shall be *T I M M Y*
Da Queen died now. Ghost form unlocked.
Damien: tells funny joke
Damien: w h e e z e
*insert Obama awarding Obama meme*
H I
@@1para1 obama: :-(
I MADE IT UNEVEN!!! HAHAHAHA
@@1para1 @ok boomer JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Obama what is your last name?
The, “pretending the be the killer in the dark” really helps. I use that on a nightly basis
All fun and games till I come on in
Or just do that but don't pretend works even better
*Godzilla read this and had a f**king stroke*
Oh Boy Is That Cursed?
Why the top comment
“Name him the last thing you ate”
Hm. A dog named Luigi?
DAAAAAAAAMMMMMM
A dog named garlic bread?
I pretend I'm the monster in the dark every night. And each time, the police are called on me for breaking and entering. Damn you nightvison security cameras, I was just trying to get a free kid.
Wdym? You get the police called on you? I dont? (This is a joke im 12)
“If you keep licking the switch games WE WILL COAT THEM WITH CYANIDE”
Me: that’s why they taste so good
Next is azidoazide azide
_Spicy_
Brick Gamer cyanide is flavorless
You are ded. Not big surprise.
I wonder if it works though the other way
As someone who sleeps nude
can confirm, if the house burns down I won't be too warm
flooding? Hey I'm skinny dipping!
Murder? Well im already ready for the autopsy
Snow?
ReM50 Free human popsicles for the rest of us!
The Victorian Gamer 69th like
This is the chaotic energy I aspire to have
@@OutlawFung2142 yummy yummy...
4:34 I haven't laughed so hard in my life.
This is so funny!
I'm deeply concerned for that person. Like *very* concerned
I got a 411 ad.
Funniest shit I've ever seen.
2:59 the hardest Damien has ever laughed
you havent been back in 15 years...
@@grapejuice9611 and I never will
@@B0MB.C0M yoo wheres the milk at my coco puffs finna get stall
@@38kiddo41 Uhh Son I’m sorry but I’m still looking but don’t tell mom
"We'll coat them in cyanide"
Good ol' Nintendo, keeping their products consumable for the whole family!
Ill still lick the cartridge
With certain sugars you can neutralise it
@@bluelake713 so glad I know that now...
Part of a complete breakfast
best cupcake topper ever
When your bro cuts your earbuds so you cut his spinal cord:
"get nae-nae'd"
*_c h a c h a r e a l s m o o t h_*
Error Sans *HOL UP*
Lol that's what I do everyday
You're a monster.
OH YEAH!!!
6:12
I love how Damien tries to say the comment only for him to not because of him dying from laughter.
"Last thing you ate is what you name him"
Ok the last thing i ate was... Let me think...
RARE CYBOP
Foot
We are all cannibals ⬆️
Nuclear waste
“Why did a bunch of children just show up in Heaven together?”
*ANAKIN*
Now they have the high ground
thunderdrae XD
Forbidden snacks
“Master Skywalker, what’re we going to do?”
Thank god they still dont suspect me
"Last thing you ate is what you have to name him"
Me: A double triple bossy deluxe, on a raft, 4×4 animal style, extra shingles with a shimy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim, quadruple, ultra supreme, with the works, double batter fried...
on a stick, with extra Mayo.
We serve food here sir
I'm sorry did you say ANIMAL STYLE
@@Chiron76 oH fUcK!!!!
We serve slaves here sir
I'm gonna name him rice
He also looks like rice so it's gonna be delicious 😏😏
We did indeed have to wait a few years to see the ghost form XD
"The last thing you ate is what you have to name him" Ramen Noodles.
6:25 If it's a little child? Disney: kill both its parents
Tarzan. Lol
Me. Both of my Parents died in a car accident
Now i'm with my Uncle and my Aunt
didn´t DC come up with that first?
@@felipeboero2532 Technically neither DC or Disney did.
Edgar Rice Burroughs wrote Tarzan years before Disney or DC did anything like that.
What if it’s a dad who wants Spider-Man on his sons grave?
*kill spiderman*
When you let your mom count to 0
**THE FINAL COUNTDOWN**
Jinay Vora i still cant stop 😂
Aka the last thing you'll ever hear
But mom, I don't wanna swim with my toaster...
Mom, why are you holding a knife?
Are you gonna cook?
Doo doo do do do do do doooo do
Fun fact: A friend of mine once gave me the 2016 world record book,which he borrowed from the library.I took it home and forgot to give it to him on Thursday when We had to return it, but he was absent so no probs there. Then our exams came and by the time they had finished,our teacher forgot about the book. And I got to keep it. I found it today,and had a good laugh about it
Thumbnail: The last thing you ate is what you have to name him.
Toddlers: feces.
“Last thing you ate is what you name him”
*Number 4 bacon double cheeseburger no lettuce no tomato with tater tots and lots of ketchup packets from sonic*
Cock
The souls of the innocent.
Your mother
Satan's blood
*air*
“Why did a whole bunch of children just show up in heaven together?” ........ “Anakin” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
big fella
As long as it’s part of the genocide route
*It’s Been So Long plays*
Please don’t use emojis
If you don’t want people to insult you then I would recommend you stop using emojis
Seriously no one likes emojis anymore
Stop
STOP
STOP
ScronchedPizza wtf are u talking about why are u getting triggered that i used emojis, who insulted me, and are you on crack?
I’m not triggered
It’s just that other people may be triggered because you use emojis
I love this guy laughing he sounds like my Grandad who smokes a pack a day.
No offence I love Emkay it really helps me when I'm down.
2:06
*high pitched* "Hahhah yay"😭
EmKay: I fear nothing.
Also EmKay: but that thing “ *mk* “
EmKay: it scares me.
MORTAL KOMBOT DO DO DO DO DO!!
Soulaima Rahal nice profile pic
Soulaima Rahal damn if you had not have done that I would have said something about mortal kombat
EmKay: huuuu
Me: but you have mk in your name
EmKay: but its mK
Me: samething
When they mentioned "made an angel out of knives" I was like: cool. but when the person said "imagine a tornado" I started insanely laughing.
r/cursedcomments
We are going to see he wizard
Even cooler, a blade maelstrom
That statue is in my city
Samir Khan Same here!
I’m glad Liverpool doesn’t get tornadoes or earthquakes or anything like that lol.
"Pretend to be the killer in the dark"
I do that, but I don't pretend
*O H N O*
"You have to name him what you last ate."
This PopTart sure tastes better than the others.
"it's the fin- *W H E E Z E* " "it's the f- *W H E E Z E* " "it's t- *W H E E Z E* " "duu duu duuu du"
@sunky the funk mastrr 6:14
Can someone link this to me?
You put into words what I couldn't. I applaud you.
www.reddit.com/r/cursedcomments/comments/d1p22m/cursed_facebook/? here's the link bois, have fun
"Before *OOOOOOOHHHH" stabing her in the throught"
"It's the final co-" *intense laugh wheezing*
"It's the final c-" *evEN MORE WHEEZE*
Damien's laugh is godly
Its the f-HAHAHAHAHA
6:15
there was an ad when i read this the next scene was exactly this
🤣
3:08
If I had that power, I'd like boss music to appear whenever someone's boss showed up. Not sure how that would help but that's what I want right now.
2:17 *Charging up laughter*
The teacher: There's an earthquake happening, please stay calm.
Kid named calm: Guess I'll die
Yare fucking daze
There is no kid named calm (this is a joke don’t woooosh me)
The class: No one will miss you... *DEMONIC LAUGHTER INTENSIFIES*
@@isciab The Kid Named No: *happy noises because a person will miss him*
@@forhecan They'll kill em' too.
Ooo yes more procrastinating fuel for me. Thanks EmKay!
Wait no
Your profile pipicture looks like a more gay James Charles
iag mum ruoy my mum is not gai
I am pondering finishing my HW right now, but it can wait
do the thing u need to do
This is the third video I've seen of yours (today/ever) and I'm loving this subreddit now! Welp, off to watch #4.
This guy's laugh is a comedy in itself,makes the video 100x better,I love it
It kinda reminds me of Mutahar's laugh (SomeOrdinaryGamers)
"Hello everyone, welcome back to EmKay, and today we're gonna be lookin at r/EmKay"
Gorm Auslander make the video just like lwaiy
@@jakobrosenberg7943 lwaiy annoys me. It's lwiay, it's even an acronym.
@@calatwork7308 the fact that you spelled it wrong really makes me want to slap you across the mouth.
"The last thing you ate is the name you give him"
weird kid: *lego covered in peanut butter*
*_Insert Ralph from The Simpsons_*
So his name is dead body and I give him a dead body
*My own soul*
Beef Ramen
8:04 OH MY GOD IMAGINE TAKING A PICTURE OF SOMEONE (fully clothed) STANDING IN THE TUB. YOU GO TO THE WASHROOM AND SOMEONE IS STARING AT YOU. YOU PULL BACK THE CURTAIN AND NO ONE IS THERE
0:54:
his name is now lucky charms
My favorite.)
*OP:*
"Wow, 3 tattoos. You know those are permanent, right?
"Me: Wow, 3 kids. You know those are permanent, right?"
*REPLY:*
"Technically both can be removed with lasers."
there are 69 likes. i have been defeated.
I said that to my mom the other day
My favorite is at 9:13
My answer: I've set a new Guinness word record...
for doing what my UA-cam avatar depicts x1000
Not if i kill them first.
Isabel Obike 420 likes.
"we'll coat them in cyanide"
Well now i don't have to buy any rope and bleach.
Yeah, just remember the combination for the basement
@@GuessImSylvale OH NO
@@GuessImSylvale jokes on you, i dont have a basement
But I do...
2 uses in 1
You know it's gonna be a great video when it starts off with Damien saying, "You get $1 for every rhino you bang"
Jasper: I just finished pouring 3 gallons of bleach in my eyes and they are bleeding
Metal Jasper: You were also laughing like a crazy person O.O
*Once I said minecraft spider to a disabled person dancing*
epic
That's a Pro gamer Move
Respect 100
Biggest possible flex
????
when he read "I deep cleaned my entire apartment" my earbuds glitched the audio
that was an experience I wish to never have again.
“I deep throated my entire apartment”
@@nyoomproductions135 plot twist: his/her little sibling was in the apartment too
Don't stop doing r/cursedcomments I laughed my heart out
Damien's laugh and voice always make my day.
"if y'all don't quit licking the cartridges we'll start coating them in cyanide"
**licking intensifies**
**starts Grapefruit Technique**
My friend said he’d name the dog ”children bones”
Filip 76uk what. The... BARK. God BARKit not again.
.............I have no words
i'd eat children bones
Too generic. way too generic
Milkshake... I'm just drinking a milkshake
"You have to name him the last thing you ate"
me:your name shall be, puppy
6:59
You definitely know it's cursed if it has a negative score.
“The last thing you ate is what you have to name him”
But aren’t they already called dogs?
It’ll be weird to name a dog human
Yes i was confused about this as well
Oh god
Amulet Moonlight OMAE WA MOU SHINDEIRU
You sick f...
Damien- it’s the f-*WHEEZE*
Also Damien- it’s the fin-*WHEEEEEZE* doo doo do doooo
I am th first to reply
I'm the second reply
I amthe third to reply
I’m the 4th to reply
I just ruined the order ;)
This subreddit is G.O.L.D pure gold
I just realized how much of a maniacal laugh I have and how twisted my sense of humor is.
Damian: **W H E E Z E**
My depression: *non-existent*
Mhm
Why is your depression cured from choking him?
@@jinodapuppet oh... OH....
Got this to 69 likes :)
@@rgxyz1233 its at 168 likes now, one more!
0:53 I saw that post and "Grandad's ashes" was one of the tamer answers.
"You named your dog Cat? Why? It's a...long story." Was one of my favorites.
I took it literal when I answered and I didn't expect those kind of jokes lol
I don't get it
Ikr
Shane dawnson im pretty sure
"Every sexual fantasy you've had just came true, how does you life change"
Me: my never gonna come true dreams are gonna come true
Edit: okay apparently my brain had a stroke while writing this comment.... It's supposed to say
'Mine are never gonna come true, I can only dream'
Uhu.. Ok i understand how big your drug problems are
@@gayig8436 XD
Damien’s laughter gives me life
Nobody:
Damien: “it’s the FfF- FAJ- AHAF- FAH- ITS THE F-f-A-H FAH- DO DO DO DOOOOO BA DA BAP PA DA”
Lmaooo
Wait.thats ilegal
@@koishiandhat159 what
"The last thing you ate is what you have to name him"
_me_ : *Rice*
Me : sushi
@@radhikadasi155 ~that's cute~ °•°
Me: sandwich
Foreskin
Blake Smith yOu aTe jEsUs?
Damien wheezing while trying to sing The Final Countdown is the best antidepressant I've ever had
"Name your dog the last thing you ate."
Next day:
"Hey, look at my new dog, his name is Dog."
Emkay : It's the fi- *wHeEZe*
Tries again : It's the fi- *WhEezE* do do do do doooo
c h i c k e n
Yo it's kind of Dark but it makes me laugh
What is wrong with me...
"Last thing that you ate is what you name him"
China: Yes.
bat soup
Dead body
“Last thing you ate is his name”
Africa: What is eating?
vaccines
@@kingchicken8232 Wait what?
I didn't know chinese people also had vaccines.
I swear Damian is the one who laughs the most in emkay videos
Damien's laugh is so wholesome.
"Sh-"
*Ad comes up.*
*Realizes that my earphones were off and realizes that my mom who hates swear words is sitting next to me.*
An ad actually became useful..
Lucky you
Congrats
What's c** like is made of and how
@@Landonc48 qué?
@@Landonc48 yes
Ive never cringed at sexual role play so hard until this subreddit
Amberlinn Rose Lee even like furry “*nudges you*” bullshit is better than whatever the FUCK that is
Last one make me hystrrycaly laughing, amazing.
8:58: I've visited this angel before and it's SUPER tall. If a tornado passed through it I'm pretty sure all the handed in knifes would be cancelled out.
Wouldn't make a cool entity in a video game, though?
0:55 I don’t think should name my dog “Dog”
*hol up*
**Breathes in**
*YOU WHAT?!?!*
My dogs name would then be newborn child
Hmm...
So I should name him "Clorox"?
I dont think I should make him airheads mystery
He kind of looks like one.
That little puppy? Yea, that's Flamin' Hot Cheetos with a cup of chocolate milk.
His name is Pizza
Philip's head screwdriver
His name is Jacob
Pizza
@@light-uq9ws oop
Video in a nutshell: A weird combination of him saying: This is awfull. And laughting his lungs out.
5:05 it's not that hard. Just need a nice metal pole you get what I mean?
10:07 are we going to ignore that the date is 9/11/13 and he is in a plane.
Edwin oh shoot
Ohhhhh no
Let's start wwiii TO PUNISH AFGHANISTAN
Oh wow
R/cursedcomments
7:05 the worst part is, shes 13 based on her flair
also relevant username
It's all the better
Zod, i haven't laughed at this since a year ago! This was an epic video!
I'm dying on that "Ho ho,yaayy"
4:54
“I haven’t slept in 72 hours”
Oh no ur gOnNa geT aTTaCked bY phaNtOms noW
edit: how in the name of notch did anyone find this amusing
A veteran i see
Nice
Another steve huh
Nice
Don't worry the puppy will be named phantom
I gotta admit, "Son of Baconator" sounds like a pretty good name for that puppy
Or chinese food
Cinnamonbunnies Cream UGGGGH
Or coincidentally Sugar Cookies
him: Youll need to wait a bit for that transformation
Me: THE WAITING IS OVER
4:34 best part of any of their videos. I haven't laughed this hard in a long time!
I ate chicken, so the dog’s name will be BBQ. it was BBQ’d chicken.
The dog's name would be embalming fluid
For mine it would be apple juice
@@chloejec6318 the last thing you ate, not drank.
Ahhh, it's my new baby brother, Daniel. :D
Mine would be Macaroni :)
The Queen Elizabeth one aged like fine wine
Man cant stop laughing
"The last thing you ate you have to name him"
*Garlic Condom*
hotdog
SANDWICH
Waffle
Hotpocket, just as tasty to!
Guitar
0:57 grandad's ashes? Really? Not even a cup of blood or a lung? Pathetic.
Tsk tsk tsk
Amateurs
*Sips a jar of my ex's blood*
tbh your relatives ashes is worse, like it is for real the remains of their body
My dogs name is Ur mom
sometimes strange288 I ain’t namin him cosmic brownie
Semen
Gotta say your laugh is contagious... IN A GOOD WAY!
Damian’s laugh is contagious