Top posts from r/Cursedcomments on Reddit. Join the community subreddit at / emkay ! Video credits below. Editor ► (uncredited) Narrator ► / damienleevoice
“My (25M) girlfriend 26F baked all the beans, now I consider to end our relations? What do I do?” Hello, My girlfriend and me have done dating for 5 month. I thought "This girl is very good," and became of love with her. Yet even so, on this Monday, I comed home and found she as baked all my beans. Yes, all. Oh brother. In my cupboard I store several bag of bean, to make soft and to bake on some days, to have a bit of baked bean on my dinner. Or, heck, a lunch too some days. But on the Monday I find this girlfriend baked all the beans. I say "Why do you bake my beans", and she say something as "I bakes them good to save time, so I bakes them all now." I am astonished and full of dissmay. I say "I canfr not eat all the beans", she say she is froze many of the beans so as we can unfrozen the on a later day and eat some at a time. But, if a bean is froze and unfrozed, the very good and very nice flavor of bean is gone far. A bean is best if baked fresh as a Sunday Pie. Not to be froze and unfroze! I told my girfriend I am so sad of this, as to my opinion the baking of the beans and to freeze them has ruin all my beans. She say I am "gone haywire" by my enragement and sad manners. But I hates what she did to my beans. On the days before Monday I thought "Will we marry the girlfriend? Well it might be so." But now I am so sad she baked them beans. I am consider to end our relations and not be the boyfriend and girlfriend any more. But, is my idea wrong? Could my girlfriend make promise to not bake the beans? I do not know what doing to do and how to feel forgiving on her.
F*ck boi Phoenix see, now I’m cracking up, because all I can think of is Momo doing Eddie Izzard’s bit about learning French (funny enough, one of my French teachers actually used those sentences in a lesson).
oh okay so I just scream the definition of a penis alright "A penis the male genital organ of higher vertebrates, carrying the duct for the transter of sperm during copulation. In humans and most other mammals it consists largely of erectile tissue and is used also for urination!"
Character: Damien Special Ability: Wheeze This ability induces a happy effect on enemies (less damage and less defense) and critical hits with this move will stun enemies. Catch Phrase: The namien is Damien.
Character: Karen Special Ability: Manager summon This ability allows Karen to call upon the Manager, doing damage to herself, and lowering her enemies defenses. Critical hits will light the enemy on fire. Catch Phrase: I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER!!
Was in the middle of an anxiety attack and I decided to click on this and hearing all the jokes in a calmish jokey tone and it calmed me down, thank you :)
“Come down today, to try some corn or we will sacrifice your newborn” ~Cornelius Cornwall Edit 6/25/21: Why is this still getting attention I made this comment a year ago 😭
The Tooth Fairy already got all of my calcium. He then tried for my soul, but it is currently in pawn shop, purgatory, until this body loan expires. Lol.
(2:41) my cousin actually wrote a ryhme similar to this and it goes: "Hello,try our corn, or we will sacrifise your newborn" and if you sing it with the right tune it sounds like a really old threatening commercial.
The peeing in a sick thing is an awful idea. Sinks don't work like toilets, there is always a bit of water kept in the pipe and running water doesn't fully flush it out. If you consistently do it you are going to end up with a bathroom that smells like piss
CursedComments be like:
99% Sex jokes
1% Actually original Cursed jokes
we live in 2019 what do u expect
Yep and I hate it
it’s reddit
"where's our foreskin"
ua-cam.com/video/QuNhTLVgV2Y/v-deo.html
"They call me Squirtle for a reason..."
They call *me* Blastoise.
r/cursedcomments
they call me wynaut for a reason...
the reason: wynaut
They call me a dissapointment also a mistake
@@victorphillip227 i call u asshole, is that a problem?
Okay Boomer ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
"Come with me. I will explain how big things enter small holes"
Damien: *Fear.jpg*
Read this comment just as I got to that point in the video
@@gone_mad-tryagainlater how. That also happened to me
@@lehampterae9360r/cursedcomment
I'm dying, reading this! 😎👌😂🤬🤣😂😭🤚
The sheer dread when damien heard "i too overflow with brown and white liquid in daddy's presence"was just priceless
Jesus had the worst internet. Took 3 days to respawn
r/cursedcomments
ur a hero
Anti vax kids use hardcore survival mode in mine craft
Jesus was on hardcore, tk'd 2 of his teammates by accident and had to wait to respawn.
Jesus were in the end potato internet you disciple of a isosalees blue
*_“ARE YOU BREATHING HARD, OR HARDLY BREATHING?”_*
"yes plz let me go"
"Can I do both?"
ARE YOU CHOKING STRONGLY OR STRONG CHOCKING
Huhhhhh I’m no
Well.. breathing hard is breathing heavily. While hardly breathing is almost not breathing at all, i think?
3:52
Oh no, I'm going to have the scream the entire Bee Movie script.
HOW
Mine is "You follow this person too?"
69 likes
Mine is literally: “Ok”
“My (25M) girlfriend 26F baked all the beans, now I consider to end our relations? What do I do?”
Hello,
My girlfriend and me have done dating for 5 month. I thought "This girl is very good," and became of love with her.
Yet even so, on this Monday, I comed home and found she as baked all my beans.
Yes, all. Oh brother.
In my cupboard I store several bag of bean, to make soft and to bake on some days, to have a bit of baked bean on my dinner. Or, heck, a lunch too some days.
But on the Monday I find this girlfriend baked all the beans. I say "Why do you bake my beans", and she say something as "I bakes them good to save time, so I bakes them all now."
I am astonished and full of dissmay. I say "I canfr not eat all the beans", she say she is froze many of the beans so as we can unfrozen the on a later day and eat some at a time.
But, if a bean is froze and unfrozed, the very good and very nice flavor of bean is gone far.
A bean is best if baked fresh as a Sunday Pie. Not to be froze and unfroze!
I told my girfriend I am so sad of this, as to my opinion the baking of the beans and to freeze them has ruin all my beans. She say I am "gone haywire" by my enragement and sad manners.
But I hates what she did to my beans.
On the days before Monday I thought "Will we marry the girlfriend? Well it might be so."
But now I am so sad she baked them beans. I am consider to end our relations and not be the boyfriend and girlfriend any more. But, is my idea wrong? Could my girlfriend make promise to not bake the beans? I do not know what doing to do and how to feel forgiving on her.
10:22 someone had the chance to reply with "she doesn't either."
"oop time for lunch!"
Damien no
Damien yes
,, alright now time for the heart mmm ,,
Wow I love your username and profile photo
Omg I saw your username name and profile pic and I already love you (you wanna fangirl together, lol?)
If we're talking TF2, not even the Pyro is that cursed.
"I, too, overflow with brown and white liquids in daddy's presence."
Damien: *hyperventilating*
Something you need to say, Damien?
Question is which end is it coming from
Time stamp
2:53
@@honeybunny683 thx
3:52
I really wish I wasn’t roleplaying with my friend earlier.
“(Silent screaming noises)”
(´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)
mine was ooh 🥲
@@stbrownvfx6176mine was “I am home rn”
I’ve been having a really ***really*** bad week and just watching these videos make me smile when it’s hard to.
:)
Get back into the torture chamber gacha child
I hope your week got better
"Listen, Momo's got a big mouth."
*immediately breaks down wheezing*
My French teacher legit looks like Momo, we call her Momo behind her back
F*ck boi Phoenix see, now I’m cracking up, because all I can think of is Momo doing Eddie Izzard’s bit about learning French (funny enough, one of my French teachers actually used those sentences in a lesson).
@@dontheuseless9007 lol
@@dontheuseless9007 I feel bad for you
Smash or pass
Pennywise:
Momo:
"Eye cleanse"
Seek professional help please.
actually, i have to do that every fricking month
*momo's happy smile that isnt sarcastic*
NO! I HAVE OXYCLEAN IN MY EYES
no for real was just watching my blanket and well got oxyclean on my tongue I cleaned it thou
666 likes
I'm proud to be like 666
Edit: Damn it wasn't, YT is slow, like me.
Darius_Skucas oh damn you, I had actually managed to scrub my brain of those vile images from those bleach fanatics.
3:52
"The trees cant be harmed if the lorax is armed"
xD
I mean, unless the person trying to harm the trees is willing to commit arson or has a nuclear weapon at their disposal.
"idk"
oh okay so I just scream the definition of a penis alright
"A penis the male genital organ
of higher vertebrates, carrying
the duct for the transter of
sperm during copulation. In
humans and most other
mammals it consists largely of
erectile tissue and is used also
for urination!"
4:05
The guy who peed on the dragon: this is what you get! *MY SUPER LAZER PISS*
Character: Damien
Special Ability: Wheeze
This ability induces a happy effect on enemies (less damage and less defense) and critical hits with this move will stun enemies.
Catch Phrase: The namien is Damien.
Can you survive the Cosby?
Character: Karen
Special Ability: Manager summon
This ability allows Karen to call upon the Manager, doing damage to herself, and lowering her enemies defenses. Critical hits will light the enemy on fire.
Catch Phrase: I WANT TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER!!
would damien make a great bnha character
@@milfcakes maybe... what would his quirk be?
@@dragongaming5397 probably wheeze would make a good quirk
my last text:
“i cry that waluigi isn’t in smash.”
I live in my sister's pussy.
K.
Mine was "Meanie >:((" in responce to my best friend not telling me about her plans today lol.
mine is "nah I'd rather not"
“Are you here yet?” My annoyed response to my friend being late to pick me up
Was in the middle of an anxiety attack and I decided to click on this and hearing all the jokes in a calmish jokey tone and it calmed me down, thank you :)
5:37 **tilts head to right then back to normal** Hell yeah! Reduce reuse recycle!
no one:
absolutely no one:
Damien: I'll spray that right in my eyelids
Idk, I personally don't really like cum in my eyes. Last time I'll ever get a facial.
@@warmapplepie4702 I guess it's just not for me. I'd rather swallow.
@@gigifabulous it's okay. You're just trying to be your mum. Making a decision.
@@warmapplepie4702 Yeah I guess. My mom makes pretty good decisions though. She divorced my dad, for example.
@HEADSHOTZ and where's the punch to this god-awful joke?
"I'd consume anything that comes out of her"
Weird flex, but ok.
we just make sure she isn’t sick and she’ll be fIne.
“please don’t poop”
One day she has to blow her nose
does he just come and suck her nose like to get it out for her?
Hopefully she doesn't get blisters
Just Some Bigfoot With Internet Access well I guess you can have a really Bloody Mary now
Foreskins are actually used for skin grafts and makeup. Though I'm not clear on the "why," they apparently help.
MAKEUP?????
1:50 gets me everytime
3:56 the last thing i texted was “HONK” and i can’t breath
Do I detect Gamzee?
My last text to someone was... (brace yourself) "mayo is spicy"
promise on my life!
My last text is “wut” lol
mines just “fun fun” which like... yikes?
_NATURAL CHIP COMPANY~!_
2:59
Damien: *STRUGGLING TO BREATHE* YOU WHAT
I ruined your 69 likes, you're welcome.
oml Bakugou I didn't know you watched EmKay
I just love Damien’s laugh. It’s so awesome!
Damien has the purest laugh ever
Damien's laugh is everything, makes this video good
You now have a stack of likes
@@showedkiller4561 didnt think i would get that many to be honest
And i miss it
3:00 is hilarious.
His laugh is so contagious! The videos are funny but his laugh makes them even better!
"I too overflow with brown and white liquids in daddy's presence"
Hen tye fans: yeahbbb
Nidhal Sormali HeN tYe
Omg mood
Angel King this girl needs more subs for this or your getting put in baldis basics with 0 IQ
@@blackberry7359 Bruv what?
"brown"
My teacher shot his wife in a church, he waited until the police arrived.
Plankton and I will see you all in therapy.
Me and plankton: leaves simulation to hang out with spongebob because you're all fake.
“Come down today, to try some corn or we will sacrifice your newborn”
~Cornelius Cornwall
Edit 6/25/21: Why is this still getting attention I made this comment a year ago 😭
Corn
Born
Rule 34 Delorn
CORN?!?
corjieangelix 邪悪な slimecicle
It's funny how the antivax memes live longer than the antivax kids
You need a lot more likes
I-
I can agree with that
OOOHOHOHOH
They must be really young then
i mean, that's so true
"It wont be boring when your family finds you dead in a ditch"
-unholy screaming-
*the family will have a lovely meal though*
My last text:
“Rape dispenser”
o h g o d
Nagito why are you here--
Hot
Komaeda?
Mine's set up to a clock circuit
*nagito go away*
5:00 gettin that vitamin D 😉😉
My last text was just:
“Ok” it was the end of a conversation
“What if Santa sucked out all your calcium?”
EmKay: wouldn’t be the first time he did that
*h o l u p*
@@aalievanderplaats5406 for me, it was a soul
he tried, but I don't have one
The Tooth Fairy already got all of my calcium. He then tried for my soul, but it is currently in pawn shop, purgatory, until this body loan expires. Lol.
Damien: *VOICE ACTS*
viewers: *happi noise*
What did u say to me?
His wheezing is making my day
I remember I asked one of my co-workers if they were working hard or hardly working and they just looked at me and said "I'm working harder than you"
My last text reads: "Do you need someone to come save you?"
That one would be interesting...
Mine was I didnt die, which would be very interesting
That one fits when you’ve kidnapped them but are also very considerate
mines; grab the dog
Mine was... I want to tell you that I am her daughter, and she is dead.
I forgot about that
"I won't talk about my pimples"
3:56
I’m currently laughing my ass off because the last text I sent was “bruh”
Mine was “Ok.”
So I’m gonna scream out *OOOOOKAY!* as I finish. Nice.
mine was 'lol' hahah
mine was literally "screw this make your own food from now on" because nobody would answer my question in a groupchat
which means i left it
Mine was Oof- Just plain "Oof-"
Mine is I'm bored.....
6:06 I too need an eyeball cleansing
3:52
“Are you sure you’re not just saying that because I’m kneeling on your spine?”
I’m gonna cry
"I'm gonna blowgang my brains out."
Don't, he'll film you!
too soon- 💀
Oof size mega
I have made a severe lapse-
My dad just said to me now
Dad: You have no sense of shame
Me: I only have a sense of shit
очень смешно...?
Сперма принадлежит животу, если ребенок найден, переваривайте его, пока веселитесь
Вы хотели бы яблочный пирог с этим
Я могу говорит по-русскм??
That’s just their username.
drugs
7:15 he’s beginning his transformation into mr stay puff marshmallow man
Can someone explain what that is?
8:47 루루 (LULU) WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE??!?
7:00
“You know I like Iron Man the most!”
“Don’t worry, you’ll get to meet him soon enough.”
....ohhhhhhh... that one HURT!
No one:
Damien: E Y E B A L L C L E A N S I N G
Actually me as well
Don't forget to get the inside when your done put it back your head
Damien laughs at his own jokes and it's amazing
Another comeback for “are you working hard or hardly working?”
Do you think when you act or just act like you’re thinking?
The last text I sent was "Am here." And I would rather not.
Mine was 'lol' hahah
@@elementhearts9810 Mine was *"KONO DIO DA!"*
Mine was
"I'm coming to morning church"
😬
"just got downstairs, where are you?"
Mine was “Pesky”
"I'd consume anything that come out of her"
Me:Dont let her lose teeth than..
Perfect for when you just want something crunchy to snack on :)
a tooth is 36 calories
@@synphilia4776 tooth chips
@@peachicedtears that is 1,152 calories or about 2 people's teeth
how about those quintuplets you got her pregnant with
3:53
"Bakugou I'm 12"
(Friend and I's inside joke from our preteen years.. don't ask.)
9:32 "Welcome to Freddy Faze Bears Pizza where Yesterdays lose is today's sauce
"I'm sorry for all I've done."
I'm still pulling the plug dad
He never pulls out of me, why should.I pull out of him
😶
@@chad7917 what the fuck
@@chad7917 r/cursedcomments
"I'd consume anything that comes out of her"
Me: Man, periods will be a weird thing in that house.
Edit: What is wrong with the human race?
Fruit punch week?
@@voideyes6000 oh heck
@@voideyes6000 Hey, Buddy, Pal, Chum, friend. PLEASE never say ANYTHING close to that for the rest of your life or he isn't just going for her juices
@@Jan7kowa11 What? it's a possibility.
They took a trip down to the red river
Teacher: "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands!"
The armless kid:
"Working hard or hardly working?"
I'm existing.
Nobody:
Absolutely nobody:
Damien: T H A T I S G N A R L Y
Oh ok
Oh ok
Oh ok
Oh ok
Oh ok
I got an A+ on my math quiz once.
The depressed kid got an AK.
Oh jesus
Yea that was me sorry fam
"You've been nice to me, so I'd warn you to leave"
w a i t w h a t
dam man das crazy
R/HOLUP
10:40 Crotch Goblins is my favorite term
I laughed harder than I should at some of these 😂
Me: *Drinks orange juice that's left on the counter*
Everyone else at the pee test:
Hol up
lemonade* if your pee is orange, you need to drink water in an hour or you'll be dead.
OHMYGODWHY
omfg
I can out curse you:
Me: *drinks the Hawaiian punch on the counter*
Everyone else at the pee test:
"Is it ok if the dog comes too?"
Ok
ou
oa
œ
Øk
@@thatonesadist3483 ₒₖ
Whenever the intro plays I sing “IIIIIIIIM MR KING DICE, IM THE GAMEST IN THE LAND” from cuphead and now you can’t unhear this
(2:41) my cousin actually wrote a ryhme similar to this and it goes:
"Hello,try our corn,
or we will sacrifise your newborn"
and if you sing it with the right tune it sounds like a really old threatening commercial.
All i want for Christmas is...
*emkay’s laughter*
I thought that said “EmKay’s daughter.” 😂
@@ShooshBrosGaming Hey that's all I want for Christmas (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
@@warmapplepie4702 Yup, plus they cry a lot so nobody knows why they're crying!
@@warmapplepie4702 Make sure to fillet them and remove the bones first.
Same to be honest
My last text
“Alphonse Elric is the only anime boy who can do no wrong”
nice profile pic
Mines: you have to watch the video to understand
I love your pfp
I'm a panic fan...
I hope the spanish teacher gets sick
mine is pUsSY
I once farted in class and this one girl asked, “Who’s eating food?”
10:57 _That’s_ a triple comma.
I misread comma as coma lol 😂
3:55
“Goodnight Mom, I love you “
damn giving that 'i love you' a new meaning
Sweet home alabama,where incest is the best in the west
Incest is wincest
mines boar lmao
*SWEET HOME ALABAMA!!!*
3:00 Me when I run one inch.
@suppacoo
Hey it me again how doing
Lol
@@bupcereal8384 WAZZUP HOMESLICE!
*wheeze*
"HAZAHAZAHAZAHAZA- YOU WHAT?"
THANKS for getting me through load shedding at night... Couldn’t sleep
Fr
3:35 here’s mine “this is my average school day”
my last text: "Im going to the funeral Friday so i cant come"
I-
ua-cam.com/video/MkUg0mz5DkU/v-deo.html
Mine was “welp I’m going to swim bye” 😂😂😂
comment: nailed it
damien: *deflates*
the last one with the cat got me snort laughing... that was funny as hell...also your laugh got me giggling even more
"I'm Damien." - Damien
epic
@@Biskye "epic" -YourManOnTheKazoo
@@kaish1186@YourManOnTheKazoo "epic" -YourManOnTheKazoo - 黎明 - Scythe LiFault @
so deep (⑉꒦ິ^꒦ິ⑉)
@@kaish1186
"Epic YourManOnTheKanzoo."
-Emilia
0:59
*Sings*
"Come with me, and you'll see, a world of pure imagination"
2:33 Free nightmares! Come get your *FREE NIGHTMARES!!*
this was the first video i saw from this Channel and i loved the channel now
2:41 You fool, it goes
🎶"Come on today and try some corn"🎶
🎶"We will sacrifice your new born"🎶
*_[Demonic scream]_*
_come down today, and try some corn_
_or we will sacrifice your newborn_
*AA-*
Don't be afraid to look at the porn, just make sure your privates are shorn
From the earth I rise and to the earth I one day will return
@@soda_095 My name is Colonel Cornelius Cornwall and I'm here to tell you about Corn
Slimesicle.
Nice
"Hey, I'ma stop and get some lunch"
Damien's thumbnails: *_no_*
SU the movie
Or not
*wait* *thats* *illigal*
your laugh makes everything 100 times better
people who pee in the sink: 😀
people who sink in the pee: 😎
"And as always, I'll be seeing yah."
that is either the best stalker warning, or it is passive aggression lvl. 2
no one:
EmKay: ThAtS gNaRlY
This is the only thing making me smile after breaking my arm, getting really sick, and after my friends not calling me for 5 months 👍🏻
2:21
That bout gave me a heart attack. im watching this at midnight, Jesus christ.
this was my last text:
“i have no choice”
well fuck bro, you good?
Lillin mine was “I will not suffer alone”
I got off easy. "Happy spooktober!"
Mine was "Kaden, wtf"
Kaden is an ex of mine......
Mine was "Homework done, packing and coming over."
3:00
*WhEeZe*
*wHeEzE*
*"You WHAT??"*
WHY ARE YOU THE ONLY ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS MOMENT IT'S MY FAVORITE?!?!??!?!?!
Huzzah huzzah YOU WHAT
@@Epictoad0408 its more like huswuh
HE DIDNT GET THE CORN JOKE! "So come on today, and buy some corn, or we will sacrifice your new born.... AAAAHHHHH!!"
The fox in ice got me so good i bursted out laughing !! 😂😂😭😂😭😂🤣🤣🤣
3:55
“Why am I a part of this”
mine was god damned 'oh fuck i'm gonna die'
Mine is "-lenny face intensifies-"
Mine was "don't worry, they can't kill us now"
GandalfPotter21
“I’m not sayin it s t o p s, fuck that guy and his nose”
Mine was "I hate that shit"
someone: i consume everything that comes out of her
me: damn okay make sures shes not on her period
hot sauce
J-hope + Yoongi is love. J-hope + Yoongi is life this is cursed
@@uwukotoa yay
She still leakin blood.
Aalie Vander Plaats yes, inhale those silent but violent farts dude
The peeing in a sick thing is an awful idea. Sinks don't work like toilets, there is always a bit of water kept in the pipe and running water doesn't fully flush it out. If you consistently do it you are going to end up with a bathroom that smells like piss
🤓