Citizen Soldier - I Hate Myself (Official Lyric Video)
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- Опубліковано 15 лис 2022
- Why is loving myself so hard?
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Mais uma ótima música pra baixar😊
Great 👍 song
Please... I think you as a band need help. I used to love this band and being subscribed, but that now ends. I was thinking that depression is something you need to go sort out by getting help, via medication or therapists, and get more positive about life. But each and every song is just basically a reminder to be and stay depro. I will really understand if a band does have a song or two about bad times and depro moods, but wow, having every song as a depro song is wrong. So good luck to the band, and their supporters. I do hope you will find a way to improve your lives and become more positive and more actually willing to live. But yes, this is not the way to make music. Could have been awesome songs from an awesome band if the topic were not only about depression and everything negative in life.
Hey citizen soldier. I wanted to say thank you for your songs. It made me feel that I wasn’t alone in this world. Your song Deathbed made an anthem to my God and to myself of going though my battles and This is your sign made me feel that I wasn’t apart of this world, but to God. Lastly Hallelujah I’m not dead (My first song I listened to by you guys) showed me that I am strong and worthy to God by fighting and by loving others. Most importantly, I am still alive😇
May God bless you all
~Rain
@@Vulcanxs hey scuba it’s alright you are going to be ok. Don’t hurt yourself it’s only going to make it worse trust me. Helped a person a week ago and told my problems to him. I told him about a year ago I was going to commit suicide because I thought I will never get better but it’s ok take all the time you need. I don’t know how to help you but I can say this, you are not alone in this world. Don’t give up you are special as well as me and my friend because we were all made by God and was made for something to do. Hope you see this Scuba. May God help you find your way and back to yourself and may he bless you with peace✝️❤️ ~rain
"I Wish somebody loved me as much as I Hate myself" is something I relate to way too much
We love you! 🧡
I can agree only having a few people and none of it blood family cuz they are gone or dont want me sucks.. My bf an his family with our daughter is all i got and im only 19... Im young but ive had my fair share
I was the same, but now i know that Jesus loved me even more than i hated myself. And i hope you will realize it too. I wish for you to find your way to Jesus
I agree with that more than I care to admit.
Same.. big virtual hugs ❤️
I'm listening to this on my birthday, wishing my family would listen to my problems... But no. I'm forced to put a mask on, pretending I'm happy.
Edit:
It's been over a year since i posted this, and i hope everyone who has replied or will reply in the future has their lives turned for the better. If there's at least one person rooting for you, it's me.
Hey dude are you okay now....
@@manjareekiriwaththuduwa4104 Honestly, yeah.
I managed to pull through & I came out stronger than before.
Still have a few unsolved problems, but I'm working on them at a steady pace.
Thank you for asking.
Same I am crying and shouting
@@BeastlyBrand I'm really really happy to know that brother... I'm really proud of you.. Keep fighting man. You got it...
Sending virtual love and hugs 🥹🫂❤️❤️❤️
I feel your pain I wish my dad cared about me and listen to my problems without him just thinking about himself🥺
“The more I speak the more I see just how alone I really am” hit me right in the heart. Thanks for another powerful song
Same too, bro 😅
I hope you're okay tho 💖
I feel that you alright?
I agree. I hope everyone who reads this finds what makes them happy. ❤
Thanks for the kind words, everyone. I'll be ok as long as I have music. I hope you guys can all hang on through the tough times too 💜
@@Nix1280 arrrooo! ❤️
I wish I could share this with others without being judged, pitied, or insulted. I feel this so much over the past few decades. It feels like me so much. Thank you for vocalizing my feelings
I feel you, whenever you share this with people you get judged or called an edge lord. I totally understand how you feel.
Yeah I agree I say how I feel thay leave like why the fuck
Same.
I feel the same
This song hurts with how true it is. "I wish I wasn't stuck sharing my secrets with these made up friends" hit really hard. 🧡
🧡🧡 hope you're doing ok!
I get that feeling man, so I guess we got something in common. Wanna be friends?
@@CitizenSoldier I'm not thanks to "being human but the wrong kind." Tired of hating myself down to my existence just for everyone around me to tell me I deserve it. Tired of asking for help just to be left for dead cuz no one cares. Tired of fighting for nothing when I'm not worth fighting for in the first place.
@@lyulf ikrrr, i feel the same way. I constantly feel like im the wrong kind of human too, like i cant be loved by anyone. When CS 1st did their seek peek of this song, i played it on repeat and cried bc of how true it is for me. I dont even have any friends.
I don't know what you are going through and so I might not be in place to speak but I can tell you that everyone deserves to be loved and have worth,one day you'll find someone that will care for you for what you are or listen to your outbursts on bad days and I hope you will love yourself a little more too.
Right now in my life...I'm 30, living alone, getting up going to work then come home to an empty apartment by myself. None of my family calls me. I have no friends.
This song actually made me cry because ever since my mom passed last year I feel every lyric in this song.
Thank you Citizen Soldier not just for this song but all you guys do for people.
As long as her memory exists, she never truly dies. I hope you're doing better, and I'm sure she's in a better place.
@@kaleslade7007 I appreciate you saying this
Hi there, it's OK.. Be strong.. I'm 36 and alone, with no friends to be friends with.. But I have a puppy, she's my first favourite friend ever.. Don't be sad yeah.. Don't feel you're alone.. You're loved you matters in life..
@@indranpolarbear6803 Thank you
@@mariop.5218 You're welcome. We all have our demons...it is our job to help each other coexist.
“For every time I thought of ending it all wish somebody had felt what I felt” 🥲 such a good song
Ikr
I wish somebody loved me
Everybody who relates needs a true friend who doesn't judge, just listens, supports, makes you feel fine if even for a moment. We're going through so much and I am honestly in a place where my hate towards me seems just as unconditional as the love I once had
Edit:
If anyone reading this needs this person and is willing to be this person for someone else, you can reach out and I'll be here❤
Factz
I really hope you're okay man. Last time someone made songs like these it didn't end well and no one would want that happen to you too. Stay strong, there are definitely lots of people who love you, especially your audience.
Just adding a comment here because i agree and this should be higher to not get lost in all these comments
Scars are reminders of the pain, not meant to be carried forever, like a wound.
The person who started the band tried to commit suicide which is why he started this band in the first place.
@@towertimesgaming4319 and look at them now. Helping so many people.
@@towertimesgaming4319 well its clear he has problems and thats worrying me. I barely ever see people care about his mental state and talk about their problems only instead
I'm really someone who can't love myself no matter what I do or try. I hate myself every time, sometimes for my personality, sometimes for my looks.. It's like this song was written for me too
We've all felt this way at times. We love you for who you are 🧡
@@CitizenSoldier thank you so much🥺💞
Self hatred really sucks but I hope one day you’ll get past it
@@EclipseManz I hope thank you for your nice words
It happens even to the best of us, let this be a scar to remember that we got through this in our future.
This song used to be so relatable to me. I’d listen and cry to this song but now, this song makes me think back to that time and has made me realize how much things have changed.
There are people out there who will love and care about you no matter what. You’ll find those people eventually. Keep fighting mental health warriors❤️
I wish I was beautiful I wish I was smart. I wish I was skinny. I wish I was dead. I wish I didn’t have depression. I wish I didn’t have anxiety. I wish I felt loved. I wish people understood how I feel I wish my mom didn’t make me go to therapy. I wish I had someone to feel the pain with me. I wish I could feel happy again like I did 7 years ago. I wish I had friends. I wish I didn’t need to feel numb or like my life is a nightmare. I wish I could feel like people care for me. I wish the monsters in my head could not keep me up until 1:00am. I wish I never started becoming sad when I was 7.
I hear u here. My dad is gone and has been. Most my friends r terrible.
You are beautiful. You are smart, you are skinny. You just need to believe that you are and push yourself to your goals. Eventually, you can achieve those ambitions just need to have hope❤️
I swear that this is probably their top 3 songs in my opinion. I felt so connected since i first heard it and its just so incredible. #citizensoldierforever
Top 3?? We'll take it. Thank you 🧡
Id say this is my 1st or 2nd top song by them
@@Revan229 i said that on the overall songs but it is my top 1
I agree I'm not okay, words that's don't exist and now I hate myself are my top 3. Though every song these guys make is amazing
Mine are probably this one, words that don’t exist, and easy’s never been this hard
“I wish somebody loved me as much as I hate myself” 🥺 this song is so relatable
Thanks Callie 🧡
Then I will show u that friendship can be
I genuinely don't think it's possible for someone to love me as much as I hate myself. I don't think anyone can give me the type of love I want. I want too much.
Maybe want less ?! Genius just kidding but seriously maybe adjust your standards 😅what exactly do you bring to the table
@@Zzzbaby89888 Why would you come onto a video like this and attack people in the comments over what’s clearly suicidal ideology?
I don’t need to prove my worth to you. All my college degrees and life passions have no bearing on the fact that I have no family to love me.
@@KaiLucasZachary I’m sorry dude I didn’t mean to call you out like that I feel you I are valuable tho even if u don’t feel like it
I'm suffering after 6 relapes. I hope you find happiness and joy. Improvement and love. I want everyone to be happy, including you. ❤
it's so funny when i look at all the reply of OP comment, how a stranger acting noble and care also selling lies to other stranger especially when the subject ones had mental health issue.
When my heart is broken, when I don’t wanna continue fighting I turn to you guys to help me get through the night. Thank you
Always hyped for a new citizen soldier song
Thank you for the support!
@@CitizenSoldier NO! Thank you for your support!
Dear Citizen Soldier, Thank You For Putting Words To The Feelings I Feel. Thanks For Giving A Voice To Those Who Can't Vocalize Their Emotions And Thank You For All You Guys Do. Whoever Is Reading This, Just Remember No Pain Lasts Forever, Scars Remain But Scars Are What Makes You Unique And Special. You Are Needed By Someone Even If You Don't See It Face To Face. ;IGY6. Stay Strong Together. Tomorrow Is A New Day That We Can Make Our Own! Stay Here, Stay Alive, And Most Importantly Stay You! Its Okay To Not Be Okay. Just Know Someone Out There Is Rooting For You And If You Don't Think Anyone Is.. I Am!
Stay me? I don't know who I am.
Thank you because there is no one
I wish I knew someone or just anyone who cared. The truth for me is that nobody does. If you feel like this nobody understands. I don't know anybody who deals drugs but I just found out my neighbour does. I have asked for some Fentanyl. That should fix everything. I'm a sook for pain and I think that will be painless. Just an overdose and I will sleep. Dreams will go away forever. Just like the pain. She hasn't gotten back to me yet. It's been 3 days. I can have it here and when I'm ready I can just do it. Nobody will know. I am really here alone except for my wonderful dog. He'll be ok though. Other people love him and will take care of him. He will miss me but he'll be ok. Right now I can't even cry anymore.
Now I remember why I don't listen to songs for the first time in public. "I wish somebody loved me as much as I hate myself" almost burst out in tears in the middle of a restaurant. 😢 All of your songs destroy me in the best way because they are so damn relatable
I get insulted every day ever since my mother died this song is so Damn relatable 😢
@@SonicEditz_3109 Damn, that's so not okay to get bullied over (nothing is, but that's especially not), hope you're doing okay! And sorry for your loss.
Lyrics
I wish that I had somebody to call when I am not okay
I wish that I had anyone who cared when I am in that place
I wish I could have a mental breakdown
Without turning my life into a ghost town
So many things I would change
But more than anything
I wish somebody loved me
As much as I hate myself
I wish somebody listened
As much as I go through hell
For everytime I've thought of ending it all
Wish somebody had felt what I felt
I wish somebody loved me
As much as I hate myself
I wish there was a person that would miss me when I can't leave bed
I wish I wasn't stuck sharing my secrets with these made up friends
I wish I could be honest about the ugly
Without every single person running from me
These days it's hard to have faith
And more than anything
I wish somebody loved me
As much as I hate myself
I wish somebody listened
As much as I go through hell
For everytime I've thought of ending it all
Wish somebody had felt what I felt
I wish somebody loved me
As much as I hate myself
The floods I feel
This storm could kill
I'm better off to keep it damned
'Cause the more I speak
The more I see
Just how alone I really am
I wish somebody loved me
As much as I hate myself
I wish somebody listened
As much as I go through hell
For everytime I've thought of ending it all
Wish somebody had felt what I felt
I wish somebody loved me
As much as I hate myself
Me too ❤
I love this song, it’s like giving my past self a hug, I felt this for so long, all alone and now?
I have finally found the people who do love me as much as I hate myself
We love you 🧡🧡
A worthy comment to up. We can all reach what this person had reached, to find the ones who will be with us, thick and thin. Let this be our torch, for a tomorrow a hundred times brighter than this at best.
This song hits hard.
I really wish I wasn't so alone with the struggles.
You aren't. We're all in this together, a family. Happy to have you with us 🧡
@@CitizenSoldier I'm very glad to be a part of this family.
It makes it a bit easier to just keep going when giving up looks like paradise .
Sending virtual hug unknown music lover ♥
@@MooodyDawe thanks
Feel the same way. But I guess people have there own shit to deal with. I give so much credit to those who suffer like this to somehow deal with it all better than me.
“Cause the more I speak, I see just how alone I really am” always gets me 😢
This band has a particular ability to help so many even if they don't know it.
“The more I speak, the more I see, just how alone I really am” this line hit me hard. Love it guys. Thanks for bringing all the great hits
"For every time I've thought of ending it all, I wish somebody had felt what I felt" Damn that hits hard.. Thank you guys for yet another absolute banger, of which that means a lot, to so many people ❤❤
I don’t understand that lyric “I wish that somebody felt what I felt” it makes it sound like you want so one to suffer like you do
@@teamdarkfan317 For me it relates a lot to the feeling of being alone. The feeling that you have no one to go to/talk to. And so, by "I wish somebody had felt what I felt" to me you're wishing for someone to go through what you went through, so that you're NOT alone.
I am terrible at explaining and that's not all of it, but that's A relation to what it means to some people
@@teamdarkfan317 It's not that you want someone else to suffer. It's that you want to know that someone out there truly understands what you're going through so that you don't feel so alone.
And by truly understanding, I mean someone who has actually been through it and thus can relate. Not just somebody who says that they understand when they actually don't because they think it's the right thing to say and is what we want to hear. But doing such generally has the opposite effect and quite often leads to us closing ourselves off to you because you're just yet another person who doesn't understand.
Hope this clears it up for you.
To all those who need to hear this. You are loved. You are wanted. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. “No pain, no gain.” You are all living proof of these quotes. Your abuse hurts and will probably continue hurting but this will make you a stronger person. Your bravery and strength to hold on will be rewarded in the future. Don’t give up now because there is so much out there worth living. If you die, you’ll never experience the joy and happiness of life. You’re your own jury, your own judge. Don’t look at others. Only look at yourselves because you matter. You always have, ever since you were born, and you always will. “Every child deserves a parent but not every parent deserves a child.” You aren’t the monster. Whoever is torturing you is. Love yourself and others will love you. Respect yourself and other will respect you. “Your abuse is your glory” as Citizen Soldier has said in one of his songs. Your abuse is your glory and the story you will write in your future. No one is like you. God makes everyone different and if you die. Your uniqueness dies with you. No one wants that. If your loved ones can’t see that then they are not truly your loved ones. There is no one else like you. Don’t think you are inferior. Everyone is the same. What matters is what’s in your heart, nothing else. Remember that and live your life to the fullest so one day, you can look back and say “I really did it all.” Live life with no regrets and leave this world happily knowing you experienced everything you’ve ever wanted. Karma will punish those who’ve hurt you and Karma will reward you for your glorious bravery. You’re the next generation and the warriors of this world. You’re special. One day this world will see that. Everyone who’s ever doubted you will see that. You don’t need anyone’s approval other than your own. Never forget that and live a life full of love, happiness and fulfilment. We’re all with you :)
Sorry if I started rambling but seeing all these comments about how people have suffered just made me want to say this to everyone who needs it. I hope you don’t mind if you’ve read all the way to here and sorry if I wasted your time but I’ll always be here for anyone who needs to vent.
This made me cry but im happy for it
But how much does something have to fail to kill me before I can finally stop feeling its attacks?
Been waiting 60 yrs 4 a god,creator,karma or what ever to come help.but so far.NOTHING.don't know how or why i,m here & what keeps me
Wow 😳
You must have went through alot to have said all of this as wisely as u said it 😢
@@EvaEva-wi6jx
Actually, no. I haven't experienced anything like all of you have. I'm just speaking from my own emotions.
made me cry tonight, good job with this. I had a huge mental breakdown earlier and happened to be teaching a class of little kids, it was hell... ... thank you for all that you do. I know you'll never see this comment and I still don't exist, but it still means a lot to me that you put out these songs so we can feel like we're not alone.
"The more I speak the more I see just how alone I really I am" is one line that will stick with me
It's insane how you guys CAN'T make a bad song. This is so powerful and beautiful.
"I wish I could be honest bout the ugly, without every single person running from me" & "I wish someone loved me as much as I hate myself"... you guys really speak out to us suffering from inner turmoil. Keep on jammin on guys 🤘🤟🏻🙌
To anyone who feels the same you are loved. Don't ever forget to make a name for yourselves and always remember to try and keep your heads up. Your stronger than you realize
Living with anxiety disorder and depression these songs give me power to stay here and woke up every morning ❤️
Last night when it was added to my playlist at midnight I was shocked because I thought it was Tuesday but I was also so excited! 😂❤❤ I love this song so much..!
Happy Release Day!! 🧡🧡🧡
I've never had a song touch me this deeply....
This song is perfect. There are no other words for it. For the past 4 years ive finally had someone who has proven that some how someone cares enough about me loves me enough for the both of us. Who remimds me there is a reason to living. Even when most of the time i dont want to. He has pushed me to get the help i need. I wont say im better. But im working on it. Im not gonna be the person to say it gets better because not always it does. But when you find that someone who loves you enough it does get a little easier to breath to find hope. My life is still a dark place to be but with him in it theres atleast a small light. Your music always hits differently then other artists. Its like a deep understanding that no one else can understand so keep doing what your doing. Your music im sure keeps people going. Least for me it has.
Absolutely love the songs I hope you guys keep creating these amazing songs that a lot of people can resonate as these have helped me understand things I never could’ve understood before
Thanks for the support! We will continue to create music for the fans like you 🧡
This song slaps! Thank you Citizen soldier.
Thank you David!! 🧡
I'm going through my darkest moments and I find comfort in these songs. Thank you.
Every lyric in this song, is as deep as the ocean. I remember when I first listened to this I was tearing up, and also like “dam! I felt that”
There are some powerful lyrics in this one. Thank you guys for the reminder that I'm not alone. This week has been a little hard for me since I just found out that my mom's love is conditional. I'm lucky enough to have a good support system, but this song hit different with this going on. Keep up the great work guys 🧡
I wish there was a person that would miss me when I can't leave bed 💙 Another great song! 💛 Thank you Citizen Soldier! 💜💜💜
"I wish somebody loved me...as much as i hate myself" such a raw line!!! 🥺🖤
I want y'all to know that your music is part of the reason why I'm still here, I can always find a song for any mood I'm in and it saves me. Keep up the exceptional work!!
I’m don’t know what’s more frightening. How moved I was by the song, or how much my life resembles it.
The amount of emotion and feelings you guys put in the song is just crazy! Loved it
Thank you! 🧡
This is honestly one of the best songs I have heard that describe how I felt.
This band honestly is the best band that has songs that truly express how I feel.
You guys don't hide the meaning through advanced poetry in your song writing.
You guys just go straight for it and get straight to the point in your lyrics and have the most balls out of any band to express these feelings this specifically.
There is no questions to what your songs are about.
Its clear as day and I love it
Love is always conditional for those who've never had it. Only kids, women and dogs are loved unconditionally.
You know you feel that emotion when you get goosebumps and memories
Seriously they can NEVER disappoint with their songs 🎵 I cannot tell you how much these songs saved my life 🧡
The connection I feel through your lyrics is like the hug that keeps me on the bridge.
You are so loved. Happy to be that for you ❤
I think this is the only song or video to every make me tear up,also the most relatable one
Thank you for making a song that describes how I have felt for over a year now. And nobody understands how I feel inside.
This entire song is just something I'm able to relate to and have been able to, I've accepted it and the fact I'll never get better, I just hope I can help others I come into contact with not feel the way I feel about myself, this world, and life in general. If anyone reads get help if you need to and you deserve to spend the rest of your days in happiness and joy
" I wish somebody loved me as much I hate myself, I wish somebody listend as much I go throught Hell " are the most powerfull words that explain our socity now!
We all need to learn to *love* , *listen* and *understand!*
The first words of the song are already giving vibes that it will be beautifull as always! 🧡
I wish to everyone to have a great every Day! 🧡
Citizen soldier 🪖 thank you for helping me get through the hard days. 🙏🏻🕊️
This song hits home in more ways than one. Thank you Citizen Soldier for putting these feelings into words. ❤
I had to write up a devotional for this weekend about mental health and the Bible. I referenced this song in the devotional. This is something I relate to way more than people in my life will ever know. But praise God I am now in a better place! Thank you for this music that shares the struggles that so many people have
This is exactly how I felt last year in my first year of university. New place, haven't made any friends, would cry myself to sleep sometimes. It felt better sometimes to know I didn't have friends that I could drive away if they knew what happens in my mind. Hell I still make myself feel that way today, "the more I speak the more I see just how alone I really am" and it was easier to say to made up friends cuz it's just voicing it to myself. Painfully beautiful song 🧡
This song hits me a whole lot. "I wish somebody loved me as much as I hate myself" resonates with me.
Every mistake or failed attempt triggers that self-deprecation so much. It has been at a high ever since I had messed up a relationship all because a devil named Anxiety took control.
I love these songs, “I wish somebody loved me as much as I hate myself” is so true
Y’all have done it again creating a lovely if not heartbreaking song! I remember being in a place of self-loathing wishing I had people I could lean on and I’ve happy to say I’ve found my group and am learning to be kind to myself more and more every day!
Every single song from citizen soldier is a punch to the gut. A very validating punch to the gut, followed by a long, tight hug that tells you that you’re not alone. It’s so, so amazing to have the things you’ve felt be put to words in a way that you never could. Describing feelings you never thought you could describe. Resonating with the lyrics and the stories and knowing that there are thousands of other people feeling that exact same way, connecting people across countries and continents with both shared trauma and the shared hope that things will always get better. I’m crying again, but it’s worth it. Love this, and love you 💛
"I wish I had somebody to call when I am not okay" The first line in the song already hit me like a truck
This song hit me hard. I can relate with every single words in the lyrics. Thanks for making this song. Gonna listen to this song everytime the episode hits. I really need this kind of music, cause i have nobody to talk with, and i never share my feelings to anyone else, music is my only escape. At least with this music i felt like i have someone that understand me.
I’ve struggled with trauma and depression from such a young age that I never got to develop relationships properly, this really hits home. I’m in therapy trying to improve, but I still feel unloveable
“I wish somebody loved me as much as I hate myself” Shit hit hard cause I wish this too, You did amazing on this song!
Never thought I would find a song where the lyrics describe every day of my life. I just turned 45 and come home every day after work to an empty apartment and no friends at all. This song hit me harder than I could have ever imagined.
Dude his voice when he goes heavy metal type and it trails out is just BEAUTIFUL
Every song of you guys makes me cry. I can relate to all of your songs very much. It is good that you exist. And that you make this music. You can express what many of us think and feel.
"I wish I wasn't stuck sharing my secrets with these made-up friends" hits so hard. Thank you for this masterpiece
this band has saved my life more times than i can count thank you so much ❤
Damn... this song here really does cut in deep. Thanks CS! Another banger as always
This song is everything that I expected it to be. I broke into tears as soon as I heard this clip. This is one of my greatest struggles in my life. There's such an intense amount of self-hatred that I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror. Thank you, Citizen Soldier! I was looking forward to this one when I saw the tracklist for Scarecrow.
I feel for every person who currently relates to the amazing songs that Citizen Soldier puts out. Seriously every song you guys release is fantastic, on point and heavily relatable. You guys are helping so many. I am beyond happy that I am no longer in a place where I need these songs, but damn would I've wished they existed when I did need them. To everyone struggling; It gets better. Somehow, it does get better.
Thank you for being the voice i always need to hear and the constant reminder why i am still fighting
You guys have saved my life with your music and the way you guys just, connect with your fans is on another level. You are the heroes that was needed in my and everyone else's lives. Thank you for spreading your messages around the world.
Sometimes hearing a song like this when you really hate yourself helps but can hurt too but I guess for me it'll probably switch day by day thank you for this kind of song🖤
As someone who suffers from OCD and anxiety, this song is super relatable. You guys save lives, I hope you know that 💖
This song isthe most relatable thing I have ever listened to, thank you so much, Citizen Soldier
Thank you for this...feel it so deep...
I deal with depression, borderline and dismorphic disorder since over 40 yrs bcs of emotional neglet. Grewing up in a cult with narcissistic parents I got abused bullied and controlled later got shunned by my family and left this place 1997.
I'm not able to see myself like others see me or love myself. And I will be 55 next month...the only thing I can do is giving my son what I never experienced...unconditional love
I lost my fiance to suicide earlier this year and this song is the epitome of how I have been feeling lately. Thank you for all of the songs that are helping me hold onto this thread that I call life.
My condolences for your loss, hun 😔💔
Your music really change my life. I was struggling with my depression since i was a kid. And i finally beat my depression in nearly 30s, getting help and realize that I'm not alone.
Your music actually keeps me alive and screaming my pain in words i couldn't speak so people would understand.
Thank you guys so much. Keep rocking! ❤️❤️❤️
"For every time I thought of ending it all, I wish somebody had felt what I felt" Honestly, I can really relate to that, but at the same time, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy to feel like this.
This is for my mom.... just lost her to stage 4 cancer. She was the one I could call at 2 am and she'd answer. She loved me more than I hate myself and then some.... I messed my life up.....now I don't have her but I do have citizen soldier. Their Chicago show was PERFECT
Thank you so much for this amazing piece! As always, wonderfully done 😊😊
Awww thanks to you as well for checking the music out
@@CitizenSoldier always! You guys' music speaks to things that many don't have the ability to articulate, and it's a beautiful amazing thing 🥰
I really relate to this song. No matter what I do, it feels like I can't truly love myself and accept myself just as who I am. I've always felt there was someone society expected me to be. A mold I had to fit and I think trying to fit in tight just might break me.
Depression is very hard ngl. I'm still searching for a purpose, because me didn't feel like a good enough purpose, didn't feel enough to just live for myself. I wanted to live for someone else but I've been alone pretty much all my life.
I just cry at night when I realize how alone and depressed I feel not knowing why, just wishing I had someone really care for me because I can't care for myself even though I try my best to fight these demons that are in my head.
I wish, I wish I could go to sleep at night and feel okay. I wish, I wish I didn't feel like a part of me went missing never to be found. I wish, I wish I didn't spend my life comparing myself to others.
I wish, I wish my self worth wasn't tied to the love I get. I wish, I wish I could run freely like when I was 9. When I had issues but was too young to be affected by them. When I didn't care.
For anyone reading this, you are special and so worth it and lovable. Just look how cute you are, I wanna hug you! Please don't give up and seek help if you need to, but please find a way to let out your emotions, don't bottle the pain. I love you! ❤️
Thank you Citizen Soldier. Nobody can repay what you guys are doing. Putting our feelings into words and giving us a healthy way to let them out. Thank you guys! 💙
Edit: "The more I speak, the more I see just how alone I really am" hit me really hard. I really feel alone and don't know what to do.
I know, how it feels. I really relate to this song and to your comment as well. I wish I could say something that helps you, but I don't know, what I could say. I wish for so many things, you wish for, and I think, I just wanna let you know, that I get it. I know how it feels. Like I REALLY do get you. I always thought that there can't be anyone out there, who feels the way that I do, but I see more and more, that I was wrong, and to me it is quite comforting, you know, like the part, where he says "I wish somebody felt what I felt", so I think, that's what I wanted to say to you. That there are people who have felt what you feel. I don't know, if it's comforting to you, too, but I assume it is, because you said, you compare your life to others', and I always do the same. So, when people like us find another soul going through the same, it is like, we finally can feel, we are not alone, not everybody's life is better than ours, and for me, it is important to know. I'll pray that your life will get better. And I hope, that hearing (reading) this will help at least a little bit.
@@reginaroseblack5849 This made my day! It is indeed uplifting to know some people are going through the same struggles I do. Because then it is like, I am alone, but, if so many are going through the things I am going through, am I really alone? Of course not. I'm really thankful I can find comfort in knowing other people are going through things like me and we are a big family battling through our demons.
Not everyone has the "perfect life" or the relationship I want to have or this or that. Some people are broken just like I am. I'm sorry that you are going through a tough time but I'm glad you could relate to my comment. We are together in this fight. I know lot's of people have felt what I have felt. I know I'm not alone even if my demons want to tell me otherwise.
I do compare myself to others. At times I've been bitter to be honest when I see someone have something I don't. I know I shouldn't be. I should focus on myself and try to better myself. Be better than who I was yesterday, not who someone is today.
I'll pray for you too. Don't forget you are not alone. I'm really grateful you took some time to reach out and write me a message being open and honest. It's always uplifting for me and remembers me why I'm still here. Be blessed! 💙
@@Emanuel-hh4uu I'm happy to know that I could help you with my comment! It really is good to know that it was worth my time to write that message.
And indeed, like you said, my demons (just like yours) try to convince me that I'm alone in this fight, but it's relieving to know that it's not true! And you're right. We really are a big family in this mess. I hope all of us will have what we need in order to be better and to feel better.
And you don't have to feel bad about becoming bitter about comparing your life to others, because I became bitter in that, as well, at times. I think it's quite natural, if you're in a tough situation, but we can change that. I also have to realize, that's not what I have to do, and it's not going to help me improve my life. You're right, we have to focus on ourselves and try to become better day by day.
Thank you a lot for your prayers. I'm trying to remember as well, that I'm not alone, and I'm also grateful to both knowing I had helped you, and that you reminded me that I'm not alone either. You too be blessed and thank you! 🧡
"the more I speak the more I see just how alone I really am"....damn took the words out of my head...I can really relate to that
@CitizenSoldier Thank you for everything! You've helped me during some the lowest points in life! Thank you for giving me and others the strength to move forward!
Thank you so much for this song I needed this ❤❤❤❤🥺
Glad you like it! 🧡🧡🧡🧡
@@CitizenSoldier you guys make my day❤❤❤
It feels like almost all your songs are about me. I wish someone loved me I wish i wasn't alone. Thanks for releasing this song
I love that i can relate to every single song of citizen soldier. Not many can experience mental illness.
Dear citizen soldier. This band has brought me so much joy one of the many bands that helps me through my depressive spouts. Recently I lost a childhood hero and two years prior to that I lost my father. Two people I looked up to one My real father and one a father figure. These songs have helped me get through the grieving process and understand myself and my depression more. Thank you for always putting these wonderful songs out. They really help put some things into perspective when it comes to Mental Health.
Another killer song from the best music therapist ever
🧡🧡
already heard it on spotify and love it. Well done as always
Thanks Florian 🧡
Thank you Citizen Soldier for all you have done for me and others. I am extremely grateful. I have been going through rough times with my friends, boyfriend, and family, and this is keeping me fighting. Thank you again. Im so glad to have heard your music.
Didn't think a song would hit every point so accurately... if you know you know
I love it, this means so much to me!!! Amazing job again and it made me cry again💙💙
Awww 🧡 sending love
@@CitizenSoldier Thank you so so much💙💙
@@CitizenSoldier Thank you for sending love to my cousin, she has been going through a lot lately and she really needed this song because she is at her breaking point in life and she wants to commit suicide so badly. You guys did amazing
@@laria3198 thx laria
I'm so glad I stumbled upon this song; it feels like something I can greatly relate to. Thank you guys for reminding me that I'm not alone.
We are listening now and saying we love you..just be you and do whatever you can to get out of the darkness. There is a light a truth and he is your first love..your creator and he loves you..he is the way to joy, peace and hope. God bless all who are listening and reading this❤