Citizen Soldier - Run Away From MySelf (Official Lyric Video)
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- Опубліковано 9 сер 2022
- How do you leave what’s in your head?
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#CitizenSoldierBand #RunAwayFromMyself #FightTheGoodFight #MentalHealthMatters
"I didn't grow up in an abusive home, I am one", god I wanna cry, this is me. My mom and step dad love me to the moon and back, but my own self loathing keeps me trapped in a prison of pain. I love others, but i just haven't been able to love myself. Therapy is helping, but its been excruciatingly slow. So slow that I wonder if I'll ever stop hating myself for every little thing. Hope is sometimes hard to hold on to.
Hope things get better friend 🧡 Sending hugs
I can relate, my family loves me, sometimes it feels like too much. I'm in one of those slow seasons in therapy also wondering when, some days if, I will finally break out of this cell I've made for myself. I agree sometimes hope is hard to hold onto, but we've made it this far right ☺
@@brittanym. Yeah we really have. Even just going to therapy and admitting to myself that I need help is a big step. All I can really do is keep pushing forward.
I was adopted and grew up emotionally abused to the point where I don't even know how to express myself correctly. It's to the point where I feel like emotions are dangerous and unnecessary. I feel that when I laugh I forced myself to feel happy.
@@murasakirin8998 Exactly, same here!
"You can run away from your problems, but you can't run away from yourself." This song is the embodiment of that sentence, and it does a beautiful way of showing that. I've said it before, but I am so happy I stumled upon you guys back in 2019
Glad you found us 🧡
I just found them this year, little did I know how much I would end up needing them to help me get through ❤️
Found these legends a couple years ago
I totally agree molly found them last year when i wasn't in hell and didn't like them at thirst but now i love them thx guys
I agree
I didnt grow up in an abusive home. I am one.
Damn. That hits hard. I love this so much! 🧡
Appreciate you 🧡
@@CitizenSoldier No you.
"Self sabotage my anthem
Like being who I am is self-harm in disguise
...
I'm not allowed to feel a thing
...
I'm obsessed with suffering
Lately, thinking feels like cutting
Every thought's a razor blade"
Y'all are amazing artists, much love!❤️
🧡
“Every loving word means nothing, I’m obsessed with suffering”
That struck deep. It’s really hard for me to take compliments or anything related to the sort because it always feels like people are saying it just to say it, and even if they do mean it I just can’t bring myself to genuinely believe it. I don’t know why it happens but I can’t seem to shut it off. I guess I feel like I don’t deserve compliments or love until I make myself better and more worthy enough to deserve anything good.
We hear you friend 🧡
@@CitizenSoldier ❤️🤘
I know that feeling the problem is that you won't feel like you hit that target you are looking for because you will just feel like yourself that's why I don't get a sense of accomplishment no matter the achieve unless it is separate from myself
I make your words mine.
Keep strong man!
No human is perfect. Each human has his, her limits. But we need each other to thrive.
Yes a 30 yr old drunk is telling you.
Trust your gut and work for what you want!!
I have never felt more understood by a song. I have an incredible family, amazing friends, and an all over good life. I keep trying ro leave situations that seem to make me miserable, but then it doesn't fix anything. I am the problem. And I'm the only thing I can't escape from. I'm just so tired of being me.
We hear you Penina 🧡 You're not alone in this
"But there's no escape when you're the prison cell." Wow. Those words hit hard. Once again you've voiced things I have such a hard time putting into physical form. Thank you for all that you do, Citizen Soldier. There are no words that encompass the good you do. Stay safe out there ❤
Much love Monica 🧡
A similar quite I heard, "you can't keep the ghosts out when you're the one whose the haunted house and you can't kick the ghosts out when you're the one who let them in"
You guys...I can't express how this made me cry the first time I listened to it. I relate to so many of your songs but this one hits the nail on the coffin ❤️🩹🧡
Glad the music helps 🧡 Much love to you
I could not have said it better
Hits hard but the only difference with me is I did grow up in a abusive home
Just saw this, 100% wonderfully said
i couldnt have said it any better ive been dealing with my own stuff and this song hit close to home
God this hits so hard its suffocating. It amazes me how you guys always give voice to our inner suffering 🖤
Much love Mikaela 🧡
Citizen Soldier are Legit the most Amazing band ever and Jake never fails making people feel loved ♥
Edit: I feel so special with my likes 🥲
Appreciate that 🧡
@@CitizenSoldier 😊🧡🧡
You're special !
@@Eragor_ 😊😊😊
"Every loving word means nothing, im obsessed with suffering"
I've never thought about how i should go about my depression so when i heard those words i started crying because it was exactly how i felt.
Yet again i thank you Citizen Solider. Thank you for all your music, it always strikes my core.
“I never grew up in an abusive home, I am one” that hits way to close to home
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I might be at work but your music is the only thing letting me feel emotion right now so it’s worth it 💜 you’re such an amazing band
Glad to hear that 🧡
The lyrics:
*I didn't grow up in an abusive home I am one
I've tried to leave this sour place a thousand times
From the start I made self-sabotage my anthem
Like being who I am is self-harm in disguise
'Cause something deep inside me is broken
I'm not allowed to feel a thing
Every loving word means nothing
I'm obsessed with suffering
Lately thinking feels like cutting
Every thought's a razor blade
(If only I had someone else to blame)
Wish I could runaway from myself, from myself
But there is no escape
When you're the prison cell
Wish I could runaway from myself, from myself
I plea for better days
But get thrown back in hell
Wish I could runaway from myself
Wish I could runaway from myself
Who and how can forgive my sins
Stucking at cage of skin made always will remind me
The only alcohol can numb this on a bottle
Who never change [?] will change my mind
Wish I could runaway from myself, from myself
But there is no escape
When you're the prison cell
Wish I could runaway from myself, from myself
I plea for better days
But get thrown back in hell (Hell, hell, hell...)
Wish I could runaway from myself
Wish I could runaway
'Cause something deep inside me is broken
I'm not allowed to feel a thing
Every loving word means nothing
I'm obsessed with suffering
Lately thinking feels like cutting
Every thought's a razor blade
If only I had someone else to blame
Wish I could runaway from myself, from myself
But there is no escape
When you're the prison cell
Wish I could runaway from myself, from myself
I plea for better days
But get thrown back in hell
I didn't grow up in an abusive home I am one*
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What was the point....
@@heatherseibold682 Theres not point. I wanted to
@heatherseibold682 I, for one, appreciate it since I like to focus on the lyrics and their meanings but struggle to concentrate on moving and flashing images.
@@Riandora99 I agree. I'm sending my love to you.
Been feeling this way a lot lately...today is my 16th birthday. I didn't think I'd make it this far, but upon discovering your music you've helped me through it all.
Stay strong friend 🧡 Much love
Happy birthday!! U are worth it God loves u so much don't forget that!!
keep it going i just turned 20 and life is worth it all
@@americancrusader6286 thank you
@@makaylabby017 thank you
Was not expecting that metal scream at the end of the bridge! With the build up and imagery it all made it so intense, amazing and absolute fire! 🔥
Glad you like it 🧡
entire song was insane but "wish i could run away from myself, but there is no escape when I'm the prison cell" hardest line ever, caught me off guard in the best way possible.
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I've been listening to this for hours. You guys had me at the very first sentence. I really wish I wasn't myself a lot of the time. I hope the future is better for all of us. Love ya CS
Appreciate you Tony 🧡
"like being myself is self harm in disguise" Really got me
I hate myself very much and I'm going through hell in many many ways. This and you are not your past and many of your other songs help me to make it through the dark days of my life. Thank you. 💜
Appreciate you friend 🧡 Stay strong
Hey, how are you❤
@@Noah12467 thank you for checking on me. I'm doing slightly better but I still feel mostly the same. I hope you're doing well.
@@zombie1013 I'm glad ur doing slightly better, crawling counts as well, keep that in mind. You'll get there, hang in there Oki. I'm here if u ever wanna talk
@@Noah12467 thank you for the support and kind words. I'll keep that in mind.
I was recently put on anti depressants but this is the only medication I need is your music
Glad the music helps 🧡
Always a good day when y'alls songs come out much love
It's a good day 🧡
Never cried so hard to a song before in my life😭
It's ok to cry 🧡
@@CitizenSoldier Thank you🥺
This is beautiful. Relatable and it hurts. You guys did great. The lyrics are just fantastic you guys did a great job. This seriously just gets me in the heart. Teared up 50 seconds in for how relatable it is. These songs let me express some emotions and make me feel not alone god this album has just been relatable to me.
Appreciate those words 🧡 Much love to you
True
Been waiting for this upload ever since the song hit spotify.
The transitions on the eye part were really cool! Loved the lyric video as always. 🧡
Thanks for being there 🧡
This one hits hard. No matter how long you distract yourself you can never be free from self destructive thoughts forever. I'm obsessed with every song Citizen Soldier makes and this is anything but an exception! 💙💙💙💙💙
The music is amazing as always! Your music will always place a special spot in my heart and will understand me better than anyone else 💕
That's why we do it 🧡
🧡🧡🧡🧡 legend💜
God your songs! Get me every time. Please keep helping others through your music. Love you guys, and thank you again for helping me and so many others 🖤
More on the way 🧡
... Really? AGAIN WITH THE TEARS? I can't express how much your music means to me. I know I say this with every video you come out, but seriously, thank you. Thank you for doing what you're doing.
Appreciate you 🧡
@@CitizenSoldier fr
You guys are amazing. You explain in 1 song what people including myself, have been trying to say for their whole lifetimes. Just know that everything we go through has a purpose so please everyone feeling alone out there...please don't ever give up pressing forward in your life. I'm a 54 year old rockin grandma that can look back at my life and see how all of the gut wrenching, standing on the edge feelings, nightmares etc, made this old lady stronger in the end. It doesn't make things easier for the next heartache but sure gives you a hope inside that's very comforting. Love you CS!!🖤💜🧡❤️🙏
this is song reminds of blaming myself for how parents were to me, they were major drug addicts; hearing this song brings the day I spent running anywhere into town I could.
We hear you 🧡
Just started listening and I already love it! Great work!
Thanks Camie 🧡
Every time I'm close to happiness, self-doubt, depression, and anxiety traps me like a prisoner. Thank you again for the beautiful words that resonate with my soul
Glad the music helps 🧡
another great song from the masterminds of citizen soldier all their songs have great meaning and touches our hearts
"im obsessed with suffering" is a line that hit me the hardest
I’ve had days where I would’ve given anything to be literally anyone other than me, and I’ve felt trapped in a prison of my own making for years. Your music gives me hope that things can and will get better, and the community that’s formed around you shows me that I’m not alone no matter how much it can feel that way. All this to say, thank you for everything you do. Every song you write is a masterpiece in it’s own right, and I hope you know how much what you do means to people like me
"I didn't grow up in an abusive home I am one"
From the first line I related so hard (especially the pre-chorus/bridge)...love it
Thanks Jules 🧡
It’s crazy how I feel every single of yours songs so much - another masterpiece, thank you!
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This song hits hard, especially when everyone around you loves you, supports you, but you can't escape yourself, or love yourself. I wish I could run away from myself but I can't but songs like this keeps me fighting because I finally found music that seems to understand and puts my feelings into words...
I literally grew up with yall.. 20+ years. I love y'all Citizen Soldier
This song reminds me of how i felt when i was in the beginning of my recovery. It reminds me of how far ive come. Thank you for the reminder.
One word: Relatable🖤
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“How did you leave what’s in your head?” I didn’t the demons made my mind a hellscape and devoured my heart and melted my emotions to where all I can feel is sadness, misery and utter hatred and resentment at myself for who I am and how it must be a let down and embarrassment to my family
To Jake, Matt, Kooper, Wonitta, and Kyle, your song writers, the people who do the videos and everyone else involved. Thank you so much for all you do. Every subscriber and viewer you get is another life your helping. So many of us were willing to lay down our weapons and surrender to our struggles but you all give us a reason to pick them back up and "fight the good fight". You show us that not all hero's wear capes. Keep doing what your doing.
;
This song that deeply touched my heart that gave me goosebumps
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At first I thought this will be a softer song like Pretend My Pain Away. But this was a banger! Oh my gosh I LOVE this bridge...this scream!🤘🏻🤘🏻 You surprise me with every new song. But also many people are caged in theirselves because they cannot bear this all-time struggle anymore. Thank you for making a song about this topic. Hope for more heavy bangers from you. 🔥🤘🏻
Glad to hear that 🧡 Much love
Another awesome song, citizen soldier!
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Yet another masterpiece. I don't even know what to say anymore. All your songs are so amazing.
And that: "wish I could run away from myself, but there's no escape when you're the prison cell"
Yep. That hits home. Then again, all your songs do
Much love 🧡
Having an abusive home and being one as well.
I love your guy's music ♡
The Heart Beats Super Fast when UA-cam tells Me Another New Song by Citizen Soldier. Especially When The Lyrics Speak To The Soul. Hope You All can make it to Tennessee One Day and Bless The State with Inspirational Music instead of the Garbage that pollutes the Earth.
Thanks Adam 🧡
I did grow up in an abusive home, but this song still relates to my life, and it hits hard. I discovered this band last year, and have liked them since
This is easily my favorite from this album.. at least for now! Can't wait to see the others!
Thank you guys for being there for me in ways I can't even begin to describe
Please don't stop being amazing!
More on the way 🧡
I love this. I just my words can't possibly explain how much I love this one and how much this song relates to me. Or rather how I relate to the song.
Thanks Ambrosia 🧡
0:40 and I already love it
thank you
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Tbh I cried when I listened to this, and I'm currently still crying because i relate to it so much
It's ok to cry 🧡
When you said every loving word means nothing, im obsessed with suffering. It's hurts because every time my parents say I love you, it means nothing to me, and I found the light, but I still stayed in the darkness💔. Thank you, im 11 and have been through things I shouldn't have gone through
I LOVE IT 😭❤️
Glad to hear that 🧡
@@CitizenSoldier I love everything you put out! ❤️
Dear Citizen Soldier,
I love the song so much, but I love you guys so much more. You really know how to move people to tears and feel as if they're not alone in so many ways. I appreciate that alot, I really do. But I do understand that you guys are also going through alot yourselves, and I want you to know that sooo many people care about you. Including me. I'm always praying for the better days to come your way, and I want to be here to help you get through the hard times that seem impossible to overcome. If there is anything I can do, please just let me know and I'll do my best. I wish you all the best, much love.❤
Omg... This song made me feel not so alone anymore.. I love songs like this!💕
You're not alone in this Aleetha 🧡
@@CitizenSoldier Thanks 💜
Stream/Download 👉 citizensoldier.band/rfm
Follow Us on Twitch 👉 citizensoldier.band/twitch
Shop for merch 👉 citizensoldier.band/merch
Follow us on TikTok 👉 citizensoldier.band/tiktok
Talk to us on Instagram 👉 citizensoldier.band/instagram
Please SHARE it with someone that needs to hear it.
Thank you for your work, and if you have needed to talk, i would like too ☺️
The first part "I didn't grew up in a abusive house" which was true for me....But when I have metal breakdowns, I go to the bathroom to cry cuz' my classmates would being this mfs. When I told my siblings and infront of them of the mental breakdowns. They- Made fun of it....Is it making fun of trauma or I don't know...
@@_AstroSc3eam either your brothers and sisters may not have understood what you really feel, or they are not good ears. You should turn to people who don't judge but who try to understand what you are going through. I hope you will manage to move forward in the future, it will not be easy but you are not alone, sincerely
@@AoKokoro30 Thank you, I needed that.
💔🥹
I've been listening to your music since the beginning and it shocks me everytime how every lyrics are so relatable with what I'm going through. I love you guys, keep doing what you do
Glad for being there since the beginning 🧡
Beautifully worded, and exactly what I needed to hear. Y'all have scary timing with these drops
Glad the music helps 🧡
This song touches my heart. 💚
Glad to hear that 🧡
I came across Citizen Soldier by accident and I'm obsessed...so many of his songs are relatable. I like alternative music...and his songs are like therapy to my soul.
Wow never though a song could like it was my story good job!!
💜💜💜💜💜 You are my fav band. Love you💜
Honored 🧡
💜💜💜💜💜💜💜🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡💜💜
@@CitizenSoldier you’re lyrics aren’t like any other bands, you have feeling in your songs. Love you!💜🧡🧡
I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! This song sounds like my feelings this year
Thank you to whole Citizen Soldier
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The breakdown was amazing. And the chorus was really powerful.
I swear you guys know how to get into my head better than anybody else. This perfectly describes what it's like to live with Fibromyalgia, depression, PTSD, anxiety, and selective mutism at once.
Great banger from you guys
Supporting you guys from the Middle East 🇦🇪
Much love to the Middle East Mohammed! 🇦🇪
Absolutely incredible! I always say the same thing, but it's just flawless. That tone of pain in his voice. It hits the heart very hard, amazing. ❤✨
Glad to hear that 🧡
Your music is the only thing that allows me to cry alone. I have lived my entire life with Rapid Cycling, Mixed Bipolar 1. Your music is the only music that truly makes me feel understood. And for us who suffer with mental illness, being understood is often all we desire.
You have rendered me speechless with this song. The amount of courage it takes to travel within ones own darkness to voice these words and then put them to music shows just how fearless you guys truly are.
You guys make amazing music I hope that God will be with you guys. And I hope if anyone is reading this that is in a bad place mentally I hope you know that you're loved and your life is important ✝️🙏🤍
you guys never fail to impress me with your songs, and THIS, is my type of songs, the melody and the emotion in your voice are spectacular, more of these songs please🤘💥
Love to hear that 🧡
As someone with severe depression, I haven't found a band like you guys who voice so much of how I feel and how I struggle. Your music says everything I wish I could
You guys will forever be my favorite band just because you help me explain how i feel to others
Glad the music helps Summer 🧡
I am surprised more and more with each new song !!! I can't wait for the next song !!
Glad to hear that 🧡
This song is what I feel like when it gets tough. Just want to “run away from myself”. Good job guys, please keep it up! All time favorite band and love ya!🤘🏽❤️
Thanks Matt 🧡
I totally relate to this. Thank you for being so inspirational and helping those of us that don't feel they have a voice. ♡♡♡♡
Much love Taylor 🧡
@@CitizenSoldier much appreciated 🙏👏 ❤️🧡💛💚💙
I love this song. I needed it
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Thanks for the support and Care from you ❤️😘💕🙏
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Absolutely amzaing song thank yall yall help so many people with each song yall write and its just an amazing thing and i recently had something big happen and this song is helping me work through and i just want to say thanks for all yall do
Much love Aidan 🧡
You guys have done it again. This song takes my breath away, the writing is incredible!
Holy crap did this song resonate with me. This entire album thus far is literally summing up my mental health over the last eight months. Jake, wow. Everytime I think I've heard everything from him, he throws me another curve ball. This song basically sums up my ptsd. There's times that I truly feel like I'm simply not good enough so "from the start, I've made self sabotage my anthem". Another line that really nailed me was "I'm not allowed to feel a thing". I've been through a lot, to the point where it's hard to feel certain emotions, especially true happiness. I can go on and on how this song nails me, but this lyric: "lately thinking feels like cutting, every thought is a razor blade," pegged me far too well. If you have ever dealt with ptsd, then you'll most likely have experienced something along these lines. Thank you CS for such a masterpiece of lyrics.
I adore your music, thank you!!!
Appreciate that Tara 🧡
Finally! Been looking forward to this one 🥰 You guys make amazing music and are helping people. I know your songs have saved me more than once.
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The video, the lyrics, the music , the emotions, they serve everything to us lonely people yet they're so underrated. You deserve the world. Love your music, it speaks to me personally.🎶
"Something deep inside is broken, not allowed to feel a thing. Every loving word means nothing, I'm obsessed with suffering. Lately thinking feels like cutting, every thought's a razor blade." So true lately, damn. As soon as I am starting to feel something other than bad, bad stuff happens and I get stuck on this. So much work for so much suffering and barely a glimpse of hope keeping me going, I guess. This one hit really damn hard. Not fun locking up emotions just to have them ruined after finding a piece to a key.
Amazing performance as always, the songs you're currently releasing are really on point for me, loving it. 💜
Wow. This is so amazing. 💛💙💙💖🎶🎶🖤💛💛
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Love this song so much
I have tried to run away from myself multiple times, to no avail.
I really appreciate your guy's sad/hard hitting music, it's like all the things I think about during hard times are combined in a song.
Awee my Heart ❤️ 💙 💜 💖 TwT
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amazing as always 🧡 sometimes i wish i could run away from myself and let someone else deal with the mess that is my life
We hear you 🧡
Love it!🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡
Thanks Courtney 🧡
I seriously love these guys. To have a band whose music is centered around mental health is what so many of us have needed. They put what we feel in our head, into songs. The things we’re afraid to say or express to others, they say for us. Hands down one of my favorite bands on the planet.
god i never got so much chills from a song. the scarecrow rlly fits this album.
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Love it as always
Thanks Zack 🧡
YESSS, THANK YOUU I LOVE IT SO MUCH
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This made me realise from just the first line that people think you can only get depression and all from abuse and physical trauma because people forget that emotions exist in other people and emotional trauma doesn't exist. I finally got the therapy I've been hoping for yesterday for my emotional trauma and it did help me a bit and it was just the first session... I hope other people get the help they deserve for any trauma they have. Keep fighting! It's worth it!
You guys have helped me so much through losing the only person in my life
Much love Kai 🧡 Stay strong friend