I just had a conflict with a friend because I asked her to self reflect. She got upset and did not hear me. Although my heart was pounding because I was not sure how it will end I got through the discomfort and stood my ground on my point while helping her understand. She did and it was helpful to her, but boy was I uncomfortable lol
I needed to hear this. Conflict tends to scare me, I remove myself or shut down. I tend to associate conflict with someone lashing out physically and that puts me on edge.
Conflict is necessary for growth. It's uncomfortable but indeed necessary. Proverbs 15:1 -- “A soft word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Wisdom and understanding.
As a person who doesn’t shy away from conflict, I often take people dismissing it as disrespect. If I view a person as a friend or person I care about, they are worth sorting through the conflict. If they dismiss dealing with it my view changes and I no longer hold them as a priority in my life. I’m capable of giving time and space to sort things through, but acting like it never happened because it’s uncomfortable says the relationship is no longer healthy for either of us. My best friend and I have a saying “trust me enough, to tell me the truth”
It definitely can be disrespectful. I don’t think many people see it that way… but once there is an understanding… the person who avoids it realizes how needed it can be
This is exactly what I went through with my family and it became an argument between me and my sister when I honestly felt it did not have to be. I feel as though I’m being attacked on my emotions. I’m realizing I’d rather just separate myself
Yes. Conflict can be good. It can be an eye-opener to show you things about yourself that you might have missed. These are things that we need to address internally and change. Only we can change them, but we must be shown them first. Conflict has a sneaky little way of doing that, especially for those of us that hate conflict.
This is so true! I am not a confrontational person either. However when I do have conflict with people, I realize that there tends to be distractions of wanting to be right (or in other words wanting to feel alright) and “winning” in the conflict instead of confronting the actual conflict itself and the root of it.
Thank you Lisa, I’m going through my healing journey. The words of wisdom and knowledge that the Lord gives you is such a tremendous blessing for your audience. I will continue to listen!!!
I here you girl. Facing conflict was a major challenge for me. However, I am encouraged to sit with the situation and listen to others instead of putting it off entirely. Thanks Lisa
Her spirit is so comforting, her voice is so soothing, her words are penetrating. If you ever feel like your words aren't enough for us, your presence and your spirit is ALWAYS everything. Thank you for showing up for you and for us ❤️
OMG. Listening to this was just like you were inside my soul. I don't like conflict...never have. I'm doing better working through my triggers... still a work in progress. Thank you for sharing your message ❤
"If you have a difficulty with another human being, there's some point of ignorance and some point of delusion on both sides. Once you clear yours and your vison is purified and you approach them from that space, things get a whole lot easier." - Will Smith
Speaking from never being heard so we speak with loudness to get the point across which in terms people misinterpret it with anger definitely resonates ❤ #Selfaware
It’s more so , I hold back from conflict as I don’t feel as it’s completely resolved , since I held it in it blows up and now I’m the bad guy and no one wants to talk anymore.
Your are very inspiring and I love all the videos I seen ,.I'm rebuilding.renewing and I'm also a recovering yes girl because I'm also saying yes ...but I'm moment I say no this person gets mad ...well thee going to be more no and no is a complete sentence ❤Thank you for your voice they have been helping me
Thank you I resignated with everything you said and I'm so glad and blessed to be a witness of your work. Good on you for honoring yourself and posting and creating this space. Be forever blessed sis
I am similar in that I don’t like conflict. And even if there is conflict, I’d rather discuss it when emotions are not so heated. Otherwise, I feel like people often say things very damaging and hurtful. When someone’s angry, I feel like it’s better for us both to cool off in think before reengaging. I hear where you’re coming from in this video, but do you think that you were wrong in waiting for your friend to calm down before having that conversation? I feel like that’s the mature way to handle conflict.
While I thought it was…. I also understood that her and I are two different people. Me telling her to hold on so we can talk about this later was received as holding her off and not wanting to speak about the situation. Also in clarity with our calm conversation she told me that in her home it was “do as I say” so she was never able to voice her opinion. Her reaction now is to say it asap. But here’s where the magic happened… she understood that I don’t like the yelling and screaming, so we agreed if another conflict occurs that she’ll address it calmly. Both of us were able to get what we wanted and we both respected how we handle situations. And if correction was needed we can do so in a respectable manner
Thank you for this. Today is my birthday and I’m staying happy and feeling blessed and not wanting conflict to interrupt that flow! Dealing with it the best way I could❤
Thank you once again for being so transparent. This is so true from both parties side. Sometimes we need to feel the fire and learn how to react. Love your insight... UNDERSTANDING is EVERYTHING!!!❤
Boom💥 Peace Sis🌸 Great talk! Learning that all conflict isn’t bad was a pivotal moment for me. I used to think conflict and confrontation was always negative. Same as you I avoided it at all cost! …and yes, I used it as a defense mechanism unknowingly! Growing up being the peacemaker kept conflict out of my sphere! That rowdy girlfriend had to chill when she came into the group! I wasn’t having it!🤨 Now as a #RecoveringPeoplePleaser I realize it’s ok to confront a situation in total genuine love and even if the decision is to part company with individuals… Understanding and allowing our friends to express as they do and maintaining respect is a necessary balance and as you said, “honor myself”and honor all involved. Peace and Blessings Lisa-Marie You know what just occurred to me, my name is Lisa and the conflict/misunderstanding happened with a friend named Marie😃🙃🙂😌 what up wit dat!!!
I'm liking this channel's content more and more each time I make leisure time to visit. Have you always been so affable, creamy calm, and well pleasant invoice tone...or did you develop through work over the years? To you, What musical instrument(s) best describes your design make-up & being?
I thank you for this video. I am in this space now. I too don't like conflict especially when it seems to be hyped. It actually was over something small. Something that I felt was unnecessary, over a movie😢. This person got upset about a movie I was watching and began to express their disappointment in the movie. However, when speaking to me they were or so it was appearing that they were getting upset with me. So, I reflected and expressed its only a movie why are you angry with me😢. Of course now that went into another direction and I said finally it seems like you want to have an argument with me and I shut down from there, but they continued to express now their disappointment with me and now I'm the problem. So, how do you deal with that????
Thanks for sharing your insights and life story it's very encouraging. Now to put in the work and embrace conflict. How do you shift your mindset before you get into a conflict so you don't fall back to the default of shying away?
It takes time. Nothing happens over night. I think now I’m just aware that by default I would always disengage. With people that I know, I talk about it and meet the situation head on. I try to be very receptive of their point of view but I still keep a level head. Many times, they themselves calm down. But… if it ever gets too heated… “we will revisit this later” 😂😂😂…
I just had a conflict with a friend because I asked her to self reflect. She got upset and did not hear me. Although my heart was pounding because I was not sure how it will end I got through the discomfort and stood my ground on my point while helping her understand. She did and it was helpful to her, but boy was I uncomfortable lol
I love this!!!!
I needed to hear this. Conflict tends to scare me, I remove myself or shut down. I tend to associate conflict with someone lashing out physically and that puts me on edge.
Conflict is necessary for growth. It's uncomfortable but indeed necessary.
Proverbs 15:1 -- “A soft word turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Wisdom and understanding.
Yes it is definitely needed!!!!! Cannot grow without it!!!!! Thank you so much ❤️
This is gold. I am a recovering yes girl. I'm slowly breaking away from toxic, over giving and abuse in my life. I'm so done.
As a person who doesn’t shy away from conflict, I often take people dismissing it as disrespect. If I view a person as a friend or person I care about, they are worth sorting through the conflict. If they dismiss dealing with it my view changes and I no longer hold them as a priority in my life. I’m capable of giving time and space to sort things through, but acting like it never happened because it’s uncomfortable says the relationship is no longer healthy for either of us.
My best friend and I have a saying “trust me enough, to tell me the truth”
It definitely can be disrespectful. I don’t think many people see it that way… but once there is an understanding… the person who avoids it realizes how needed it can be
@@SeasonedDialogue i appreciate you bringing this up and providing me with a different view ✨✨
@@MartyMar-yk1ik absolutely ✨✨
This is exactly what I went through with my family and it became an argument between me and my sister when I honestly felt it did not have to be. I feel as though I’m being attacked on my emotions. I’m realizing I’d rather just separate myself
@@Theekellypetit All you can do is all you can do. I always feel better being able to say “I exhausted the possibilities.”
I’ve been struggling with this recently. Conflict has always felt so dangerous to me. Your example was a reminder of the good that can come from it.
Absolutely, I felt the same but I'm learning to still gauge a person's behaviors and response in order to know how or how not to proceed.
Yes. Conflict can be good. It can be an eye-opener to show you things about yourself that you might have missed. These are things that we need to address internally and change. Only we can change them, but we must be shown them first. Conflict has a sneaky little way of doing that, especially for those of us that hate conflict.
I totally agree with this statement!!!!
This is so true! I am not a confrontational person either. However when I do have conflict with people, I realize that there tends to be distractions of wanting to be right (or in other words wanting to feel alright) and “winning” in the conflict instead of confronting the actual conflict itself and the root of it.
Yes!!! Some people only want to win the argument… not listen
@@SeasonedDialogue how can we fix that ?
Thank you Lisa, I’m going through my healing journey. The words of wisdom and knowledge that the Lord gives you is such a tremendous blessing for your audience. I will continue to listen!!!
This is a great conversation & so needed especially in a culture where people feel that we need to agree on everything to be friends
Very true!
I here you girl. Facing conflict was a major challenge for me. However, I am encouraged to sit with the situation and listen to others instead of putting it off entirely. Thanks Lisa
Yes indeed 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾
It's a good thing to have discernment and endurance. That's strength.
Her spirit is so comforting, her voice is so soothing, her words are penetrating. If you ever feel like your words aren't enough for us, your presence and your spirit is ALWAYS everything. Thank you for showing up for you and for us ❤️
Wow, thank you
OMG. Listening to this was just like you were inside my soul. I don't like conflict...never have. I'm doing better working through my triggers... still a work in progress. Thank you for sharing your message ❤
Thank you for listening
This resonates with me, of being the Yes Person to make everyone happy. Thank you for sharing
"If you have a difficulty with another human being, there's some point of ignorance and some point of delusion on both sides. Once you clear yours and your vison is purified and you approach them from that space, things get a whole lot easier." - Will Smith
Speaking from never being heard so we speak with loudness to get the point across which in terms people misinterpret it with anger definitely resonates ❤ #Selfaware
Thank you for speaking directly to my soul in a very soothing tone at the time when I so needed to hear this message.... You truly are God sent 🤍🤍🤍
You sound like soul food for the ears! I love your channel!
Thank you
This took me so long to learn. Conflict reveals so many things.
It really does!!! Much about ourselves as well
It’s more so , I hold back from conflict as I don’t feel as it’s completely resolved , since I held it in it blows up and now I’m the bad guy and no one wants to talk anymore.
That's the key transformation growth
Your are very inspiring and I love all the videos I seen ,.I'm rebuilding.renewing and I'm also a recovering yes girl because I'm also saying yes ...but I'm moment I say no this person gets mad ...well thee going to be more no and no is a complete sentence ❤Thank you for your voice they have been helping me
I found this at the right time thanks
Wow. Love this great message
Awesome!! I listened to this driving in to work. I needed this advice. Thank you Lisa! Love ur calm demeanor 👌
You are so welcome
Thank you I resignated with everything you said and I'm so glad and blessed to be a witness of your work. Good on you for honoring yourself and posting and creating this space. Be forever blessed sis
I love this because this is me!
I am similar in that I don’t like conflict. And even if there is conflict, I’d rather discuss it when emotions are not so heated. Otherwise, I feel like people often say things very damaging and hurtful. When someone’s angry, I feel like it’s better for us both to cool off in think before reengaging. I hear where you’re coming from in this video, but do you think that you were wrong in waiting for your friend to calm down before having that conversation? I feel like that’s the mature way to handle conflict.
While I thought it was…. I also understood that her and I are two different people. Me telling her to hold on so we can talk about this later was received as holding her off and not wanting to speak about the situation. Also in clarity with our calm conversation she told me that in her home it was “do as I say” so she was never able to voice her opinion. Her reaction now is to say it asap. But here’s where the magic happened… she understood that I don’t like the yelling and screaming, so we agreed if another conflict occurs that she’ll address it calmly. Both of us were able to get what we wanted and we both respected how we handle situations. And if correction was needed we can do so in a respectable manner
That’s good. Thank you for replying. I just stumbled across your videos today. God bless you.
Your essence is pure Quality. I hear you clearly because your gift is a present 🎁 to me. Grand Awakening 🙏🏾
I appreciated this message.
You are so calming.❤ I feel your positive energy flowing through my phone. Thank you, my beautiful sister, for you are truly 👏 AMAZING
Thank you for this. Today is my birthday and I’m staying happy and feeling blessed and not wanting conflict to interrupt that flow! Dealing with it the best way I could❤
Awwww Happy Birthday!!!🎊🎉🎈
Thank you 😊 I appreciate your diligence. I love how you let God use you!
I heal because of you sister💚🪴
Very helpful… thank you (Yes girl recovery)😊
You're so welcome! ❤️❤️
Thank you once again for being so transparent. This is so true from both parties side. Sometimes we need to feel the fire and learn how to react.
Love your insight... UNDERSTANDING is EVERYTHING!!!❤
Absolutely, lesson well learned.
Blessed to have found you ! Thank you for your words of wisdom , reassurance, and encouragement ❤ we all need it
Thank you!!!!!!
Love your content and aesthetics! Keep going ☺
Well said coach!!!! Well said!!! This is ME! All ME!❤
Keep moving … and allow certain things to unfold
Boom💥
Peace Sis🌸
Great talk! Learning that all conflict isn’t bad was a pivotal moment for me. I used to think conflict and confrontation was always negative. Same as you I avoided it at all cost! …and yes, I used it as a defense mechanism unknowingly!
Growing up being the peacemaker kept conflict out of my sphere! That rowdy girlfriend had to chill when she came into the group! I wasn’t having it!🤨
Now as a #RecoveringPeoplePleaser I realize it’s ok to confront a situation in total genuine love and even if the decision is to part company with individuals…
Understanding and allowing our friends to express as they do and maintaining respect is a necessary balance and as you said, “honor myself”and honor all involved.
Peace and Blessings Lisa-Marie
You know what just occurred to me, my name is Lisa and the conflict/misunderstanding happened with a friend named Marie😃🙃🙂😌 what up wit dat!!!
Woooow!!! Now look at that!!!!!❤️❤️❤️ Thank you for sharing ✨
❤
Thank you so much for this video! Very real and deep. I'm learning this, and have made some mistakes along the way. But, it's okay. I'm growing.
Yes indeed! We are all growing together ❤️❤️
So true!!
I always love your content and your point of view ❤️🙏🏽🫶🏽
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ thank you
I'm liking this channel's content more and more each time I make leisure time to visit. Have you always been so affable, creamy calm, and well pleasant invoice tone...or did you develop through work over the years? To you, What musical instrument(s) best describes your design make-up & being?
Excellent
Thank you Sis. 🙏
You are so welcome
Sometimes growing up with conflict can make you not tolerable as an adult
Very true
Thank you for this ❤
You're welcome 😊
This was right on time because I’m struggling with this now.
Goodness! I promise it will get better
I dont like conflict too myself .....but I have realize that it needs to be addressed to bring clarity.😊
You can tell a lot about a person how they handle conflict.
I believe it
🔥Dope content 🔥
Thank you
In my situation. The problem is that. When someone gives me lot's of anger. I feel sone weekness and deasiness and i have too sit down
Goodness… do you know what triggers it?
@@SeasonedDialogue yes. Probably the negative energy of that person. And i have not learn how to protect my self from it
@@SeasonedDialogue btw. I realy love your mesagge and videos. Keep it up. From puerto rico. Nice to meet you......🙏
@@DavidHernandez-qm6md that’s really amazing. You seem to be very sensitive with energy
@@DavidHernandez-qm6md nice to meet you!
I thank you for this video. I am in this space now. I too don't like conflict especially when it seems to be hyped. It actually was over something small. Something that I felt was unnecessary, over a movie😢. This person got upset about a movie I was watching and began to express their disappointment in the movie. However, when speaking to me they were or so it was appearing that they were getting upset with me. So, I reflected and expressed its only a movie why are you angry with me😢. Of course now that went into another direction and I said finally it seems like you want to have an argument with me and I shut down from there, but they continued to express now their disappointment with me and now I'm the problem. So, how do you deal with that????
You don’t…. It seems minor…. If the feeling you received feels like an invitation for an argument… it probably is
@@SeasonedDialogue Thank you, that's what I thought, but was hopeful. Now, that's a whole other realty I guess I have to come to terms with.
Thanks for sharing your insights and life story it's very encouraging. Now to put in the work and embrace conflict. How do you shift your mindset before you get into a conflict so you don't fall back to the default of shying away?
It takes time. Nothing happens over night. I think now I’m just aware that by default I would always disengage. With people that I know, I talk about it and meet the situation head on. I try to be very receptive of their point of view but I still keep a level head. Many times, they themselves calm down. But… if it ever gets too heated… “we will revisit this later” 😂😂😂…
@@SeasonedDialogue Thank you.
Hey Liza, From which country do you come from.