I cried with the last thing that you’ve said. I always give what my family needs. I cook for them, clean the house, do everything for them. And I feel like nobody takes care of me. And I don’t know why it is SO hard for me to take care of myself first. To prioritize myself. Especially now that I am 43, my emotions are all over 😢
What struck me the most is dress for the size you are NOW. Middle age has caught up with me and I finally accepted it and I’m working on a new wardrobe. It’s so freeing! I feel and look better in clothes that FIT well.
There was a time in my life when I had 2 pairs of worn out jeans- some Target t-shirts and a couple of sweaters my mom bought me. Then one day I woke up- as if I was in a fog for years. I’m guilty of all 5 of the reasons you point out here. I found your channel because I finally bought a pair of jeans and wanted to know how to cuff them- and you’ve been my fashion North Star ever since! Over the last several years with your help, I’ve built a wardrobe that I’m proud of and that makes me feel great. I feel younger, more attractive, more myself. It really is true - if you care for yourself- you enhance your self-respect and in turn can be there for everyone else in a happier more authentic way. Keep up your important work - I’m grateful for all of your help 🙂
I never felt like I knew my style so I was always a mess with too many random pieces. Definitely not enough basics. I have recently cleaned out my entire closet of every floral top and tunic and replaced with solid neutral pieces that I can mix and match and I feel fabulous! This channel has been an amazing help to me to start pulling together my style as I approach 50. I spent my 30's a complete mess. Best, most helpful video I've ever seen! Thanks Erin!
I've seen my grandpa go without so my grandma could have everything she wanted. He would saftypin his pants together. Wear the same 3 shirts for months while my grandma got all the clothes she wanted. He never complained. I asked him when I got older why did he do it. He said "a women deserves to feel beautiful, she deserves to smile and want for herself. Your grandma buys more but she "thinks" she needs to look pretty for me. I can tell her this everyday but she needs to believe she is as beautiful as I think she is". I'll never forget this. Now I'm the one putting myself last. My grandpa would be giving me a good lecture right now. Wow
Several of these things really hit home for me! Especially the messy closet, guilt and I've totally hit the "I've lost me" phase. This was a GREAT video Erin! xoxo
Thank you Erin for so much good information and insight. I’m a 61 yr old professional who is now on disability because of a terrible spinal disease. I still work a few days a week but cannot afford the lifestyle I once could. This video touched my heart because I often struggle with guilt. I feel bad getting my grays covered or buying clothes for work because it’s all so expensive and my income is now reduced. I still feel youthful and I love feeling pretty. My life has taken a health and financial turn but my womanhood is still alive and I must feel good about myself because some days it’s all I have left. You are a true inspiration! ❤️
Wearing clothes that are too tight because we need to lose weight is not only depressing and unfashionable but also physically uncomfortable and restrictive and often cuts off your circulation. I have noticed that I get nauseous and light headed when I wear pants that are a tad tight or a top with tight sleeves.
I gained 20 lbs without realizing it in my late 30’s (depression and lethargy were a factor). All of a sudden my clothes were so much tighter. Took a packed bus ride with my luggage on my lap, and grabbed a coffee while waiting for the ferry and all of a sudden felt the most intense sharp debilitating pain in my stomach and nausea. I had to lay down on a park bench I thought I would pass out. As soon as I undid the button for my jeans I felt a huge sense of relief and the problems went away. Very scary wake up call.
I’m a basic person.. I’m all about comfort! So I add a cool shoe .. or a red lip and I’m good to go. Basics are everything to me! White tees , long sleeve button downs, ( blue & white) .. i am cleaning out my closet and lots of things I’ve never worn are being donated. I ask my family first , if they don’t want it ..they go to a new home. Amen! 🙌🏼 I got rid of the guilt and took my kids shopping! They are happy, I am happy! Thank you for the reminder Erin! 🙏🏼
Not only do you offer such practical tips, it's the fact that you genuinely care about women and how we feel that make your videos so inspiring and why you have such a following. It's truly a gift!
Erin , I can’t state this enough, your tips and advice have made such a significant difference in how I feel and dress everyday. Keep doing what you do, we need to hear more of this. Love from NY ❤️❤️❤️
This video really hit me. I have two lil girls with health issues. I have lived at doctors and hospitals and always taking care of them . I don’t do things for myself . I starting crying watching this. Its so easy as a mom , especially to lil ones to loose yourself. I cleaned out my closet during our stay at home order. It felt good to go threw and really see what I had. What resonated with me in the video is the guilt. Even my husband tells me to go do something for myself: I need to work on this better and take the time . Thank you for the reminder and for talking about this!
I totally get it Erin. I hear you. My experience was when a Dr. asked me what would I do in a emergency on a plane. I said put the mask on my loved ones first. Wrong! Put your mask on first then put it on the people you love. You have to breath that air to stay conscious. That was a real eye opener for me. I have to put myself first. Thank you. You are awesome! Christy
Such a powerful message! The guilt struggle is so real! I think it’s especially tough for stay at home moms. When you’re not bringing in an income, it’s tough to buy for ourselves when there are so many other expenses and needs that have to be met. We often sacrifice our needs for the family. But you’re so right! If we don’t take care of ourselves, we’re not the wife and mother that our family needs us to be.
I LOVE that your channel lifts women up! ❤ I'm not happy to say this, but too often I see women putting each other down, or being mean, catty, or competitive with, or to, one another. It is so refreshing and inspiring to see women here forming a community to lift one another up and help each other. In my opinion, life is too hard to play such mean games to one another. It takes really mature, kind hearted souls to help each other, and that was what we were put here for.
i'm not 40 yet. over 30, actually. but i can admit, i do feel guilty spending money on cool stuff just for myself. guilt tends to get even bigger when i ask my husband if there's anything we need to buy for himself and 9 out of 10 times he says 'no'. oh well, i guess he's just a person of few needs. doesn't help with the guilt tho. so i try to find a compromise: i buy minor stuff every month according to my so-called 'wardrobe plan'. for example, this month i want a dress and a hat. so i buy just that. is it too much money to spend on myself? no, not really. is it helping me to make small steps towards building a cohesive wardrobe? yes, it does. does it make me feel happier? definitely yes. thanks for identifying the 'guilt' problem in this video. identifying the problem is the first step to solving it
I’ve been married now for 33 years (I’m 55) with 3 wonderful children. They are 25, almost 23 and 21. My husband has said the same thing to me for the 33 years! 🙄 So I used to also put the children first , husband first. .... then I realized a few years ago that I’ve always put myself last and felt guilty when I put myself first or near to first. I decided to join a gym, get my nails done and put myself on a personal spending budget for things I’d like to get but more pricey than usual. It helped me regain ME and I found that I was better for everyone else when I did that!
Um, all of the above. My closet is so overwhelming I don't even know where to begin. I keep thinking if I had more space I would be able to organize all of my stuff. Thank you for speaking straight to my heart. You always inspire me. ❤️
You're so welcome! Make an appointment with yourself to go through each item in your closet. Try each item on and ask yourself if it fits and flatters and if you feel amazing in it. Those that don't make the cut need to go. This will free up some space for you and help you become less overwhelmed! xo
Wow, what a wake up call for me....I am so sad right now, I prioritized everybody in my life but myself, I am 59 years old woman who doesn't have basic good quality clothes because I always save money on myself...This video is game changing for me, I need go through basic check list and build my basic clothes. Thank you Erin so much 💕💕💕
Erin, I love how your compassion for others shines through in this video. Thank you for your advise on “beauty & fashion”. But more importantly, thank you for your willingness to be real with us.
thank you 🙏 for keeping it real, this is so powerful, your kind and generous advice are just the reminders I need to feel back on my game. 💞💞💞takeaways “dress the body you are in” -no more depressing dressing moments, and, identifying the “guilt” of self care - that is so real. I’m hopping on your train ...whoo whoo 😉
Erin, I started watching your channel a few months ago and continue to be inspired by your advice and words of encouragement. In the last few months I battled my "guilt" of purging so many inexpensive wardrobe items and replacing them with quality, core basics and it has paid off - my husband and friends have noticed the change! I've found a new confidence in myself and appearance. Thank you and keep up the amazing work!
Last part got me crying! Women do so much and make so much sacrifices! This whole staying at home because of COVID has taken its toll on a lot of women too. I realized that just doing my brows after I shower every morning made a world of difference to me, it just brightens my face and lifts my mood. Thanks Erin, you are such a babe! 🥰🥰❤️
Oh Erin... your videos just get better and better! I can feel the passion for what you do by the look on your face! Thank you SO much for helping women! Again, I feel like you are speaking directly to me! Love, Kelly
You are really amazing. Not only are you a stylist, you double as a therapist! I know why we are all sitting here tearing up. Usually when people say, "You are an amazing woman" or something to that effect, they are just words. When YOU said it, I really FELT it. ❤️
This is one of your VERY BEST! WOW! After my divorce at age 50, after 27 years of marriage to a selfish man, I rid myself of guilt. I had a career and always made my own money, but I felt guilty if I spent money on myself rather than on my girls’ college educations, my older daughter’s wedding, etc., something my ex never did. But after my divorce, I found myself again -my intelligence, my strength, my outgoing personality -all of it. And I have not allowed guilt to take over my life since that time, and I am a young 72 years of age now. Also, one important factor many women either forget or never knew is that women have different body types. Some of us have small bones, some have larger bones, and some women will never be thin, that is unless they are either sick or starve themselves. My shoulder measurement is 42” plus, the same measurement as my bust and hips. I have been walking at least 10 miles a week and eating sensibly and I at my age, I will never wear a size smaller than a size 12 in skirts and slacks or a 14 in blazers, shirts and jackets. I look good in my clothes even though I do not wear a 6 or an 8. I have almost a flat stomach for someone my age, so I do not have to always cover my tummy. My short torso is difficult at times to select clothing right for my body type, but It is what it is! So, I deal with it and try to look the best I can.
Thanks for teaching me how to dress with style and to try to fall in love in me to eventually love my self like every person deserves. Your videos are instructive and sensible, they are emotional but in a nice way, to move something inside, that says: hey! You are powerful, you just have to belive in yourself! Thanks, waiting for your next video. Kisses from Spain!
You seriously deserve more subscribers. You are one in a few that works hard on each and every video to help and inspire women of all ages. Thank you Erin ❤️
Great video. It cuts to the core issues of why we look less than many times. Great tips and analogies. By putting ourselves first, we really are able to be more productive and that helps others. So, it's a win for all. Thanks.
This video comes at just the right time. I feel as if you obeyed in my head and said what I became aware of just 24 hours ago !! I feel guilty and I prioritize the needs of others. If I change that, everything will change! thank you !!!
You hit the nail on the head, Erin. Moms put everyone else first, we need to realize we aren’t at our best for others if we don’t treat ourselves special and kindly. Thank you for putting this all together!
This rings so true Erin, I've actually grown my nails using nail strengthener and growth, I'm 61, I've recently treated myself to a few new classic peices, not over the top, but still I now feel so guilty because, my daughter and grandson (20) are struggling recently, of course I help them both out, I'm still working full-time because I have all my life, and I love it, but I feel pain a bit more on the bones har, har, I always take your advice and get the best I can afford, basics are best, I love feeling good it spurs me on ;-) Liverpool u.k
You're so welcome! Here is a link to my closet organizing videos incase you need a bit more guidance. There are some recent ones and some older ones on this list: ua-cam.com/play/PL6xMaBj8Zyg8QCZBVFk2H6ByzEy72wsls.html
I have no kids and no guilt, if anything I’m a textbook shopaholic. But also no basics. I gravitate towards the sparkly shiny stuff. I need that checklist!
To get the basics checklists sent right to your inbox you just need to subscribe to my weekly newsletter. Here is the link: busbeestyle.activehosted.com/f/1
This really spoke to me. I feel guilty all the time and I do neglect myself. Thank you Erin , hearing you say you deserve to take care of yourself felt so good . And it made me think ..I do need to see about me .
I went through this when my kids were younger. Now I am so grateful that I reconnected with ME :).. AND yes I treat myself sometimes to a Chanel bag or a pair of nice shoes because they make me feel awesome. I like to call my home office my Zen Den and it is where I go and work on my gratitudes and affirmations and all things that make me a better person, mother, wife, and friend.
I'm going to clean out my closet right now! I lost 30 pounds and my closet is mess. I've been putting off organizing it for ever, and now is the time! (It's going to feel great getting rid of stuff that doesn't fit and discovering what fits me again! It's like shopping for free!) If I had girlfriends that could join me today I'd take out the wine! Lol
It is great to purge your closet with a girlfriend. She will tell you what looks good on you and what doesn't look that good anymore. But you can do it solo too. Good luck. And congrats on loosing weight. I need to loose some Corona weight too.
So true Erin and thank you! Excellent video, as always! #5 resonates with me so deeply... today starts the journey of adding myself to the list, in the #1 position! I have always acted out of love to care for my family and friends... today I begin a journey of self-love, thanks to your inspiring message! Thank you!!!
Everything you said is so incredibly true. It took me getting so ill to the point of almost dying that I finally woke up and understood the importance of self care. Now self care is non negotiable and necessary. I don't overindulge and I keep my me-time in balance with all the other things on my to-do list but I no longer apologize for being kind to myself and taking time for me. I was a hard lesson to learn but I will never go back to that destructive thinking that self-care is selfish. It is in fact so crucial and absolutely necessary if we are to fulfil our roles as caregivers. It starts with us. Much love to you my sister in style. XXOO
Hi Erin, you made me well up watching your video, that's so me, I've lost my way, because of guilt, I wear really frumpy clothes and I'm also over weight and have no confidence, thank you for helping me to change the way I look at dressing, this will really make a difference 🥰
WOW! I’m guilty of every one of these mistakes. What a great video Erin. Just the right video at just the right time for me. What bothers me the most is that in my 30’s personal styling was my side hustle. I did the closet edits, personal shopping, etc. I’ve had many days of piles of clothes in the floor for clients and the tears in the dressing room. How did I lose my way! I’m 58 years old now with too many clothes, in too many sizes. Menopause has done a number on me! I can’t seem to lose the belly fat. I’ve tried my hardest for years. Since my closet is classic, modern, timeless pieces; I can’t seem to let go of my previous wardrobe. It’s time to dress for the body I have now and if I get back down in weight then I’ll buy new pieces. It’s time to let what doesn’t fit go to the consignment store! Thank you sweet Erin. This is top ten favorite videos! Love ya and I 🙏🏼 for your continued success!💗
I can feel your emotion through your comment, Shelley! I'm so glad this video was helpful! Remember to put yourself at the top your priority list because you deserve it! xo
Tku SO much Erin. Yes been there. When I caught sight of myself and a shop window and didn't recognise ME! That's when it hit me! Yes learn to put Number 1 YOU first. You will feel human again :)))
You are so right Erin about guilty!!!! Although we can feel it sometimes, it's so different when we hear it from another person!! Thanks for all🌸🌸 Kisses from Greece 💚💙💜💛
Honestly Erin, this is your best video ever. Because without this healthy mindset, your wardrobe, style, etc. means nothing, and will never come to it's full fruition. Thank you for posting this, you're the best. Much love from NYC 👛 xx
Such a great video. 2020 was a year of having a malignant melanoma removed, selling, buying, renovating and moving, turning 50. After moving, and reorganizing my closet, I’m coming to terms with myself, my style... it’s such a journey. Spent the first 40 years of my life with abusers and controllers - they ALWAYS had comments and opinions regarding my style, my clothes, my shopping and spending. Your channel has been so incredibly helpful. Thank you for all of the work and energy you put into these. 🙏✨♥️
If I am Honest, the Reasons why my Style *was* a mess is because.. 1. Mom came last ..Yes! that Guilt 2. I did have the basics, but my style was bland- no layering or accessories to Amp up my outfits 3. I wore a uniform in my career & when I was off work, I wore Jeans, top, shoes- quick, basic, comfy, practical & BORING. My Renaissance was turning 40! And... I found You Tube & You Erin! Many of us can't afford a personal stylist, so finding you on You Tube has been Life Changing! So, Thank You for what you do & helping women like myself.
You are so sweet, Prayon! I'm so happy to hear that my content is helpful for you! That's my goal...to help as many women as possible reclaim their style and help them feel great! I appreciate you sharing this with me! xo
Your last 2 points got me crying . Thank you for Talking about this - its a reminder for all the wonderful women out there that - we are important ....😀😀
I just purged my closet and found out why I don’t have anything to wear. It is because my basics no longer fit and will not. At least I can see what fits and I am investing in high end classics, my style anyway. Now that I am retired, I can’t shop at Saks and Neimans as I did in the past. But I did find I can buy classic in consignment stores, eBay, tred up and posh mark Thanks.
Sometimes we think we have the basics, but if they don't fit and flatter it's time to find ones that do. One by one, start replacing them with those pieces that make you feel amazing!
Life changing. I think I keep myself together pretty well but you made me see that this is despite the fact that I am held back by all of these five things!! So easy to not feel good about yourself because you feel guilty about taking care of yourself and then the time and money you have spent is wasted which makes you feel guilty again! Think I will be playing this video often. Thank you Erin x
I'm so glad I found you! I did just wake up and realize I lost myself-after having a near-death experience. Now I'm finally trying to take care of myself and realized I have never changed my style-just wearing boxy clothes to hide in. I'm learning so much from you-thank you!
OMGoodness Erin! How you nailed it! Really appreciate this video. I love the "dirty" five letter word too LoL Let's not even say or think that word any more. Thank you!
Great tips!! I don't feel guilt because I work very hard for my 6 kids and hubby. I love clothes, nails, etc. Plus my hubby loves that I take care of myself. Also I have 2- 5 year old girls that need to see mommy as a good example, not perfect though. Thank you❤
Great video! Add to the "guilt" list: Mistakes. "I spent so much money on it, I have hardly worn it, it feels like a waste to get rid of it." Another challenge is trying to figure out what you can wear with the figure you have now. Weight shifts, things change, and suddenly nothing fits correctly anymore. Add to that the question of "Am I too [gulp] old to wear this?" Because we judge ourselves, and we may feel that other judge us too. At the end of the day, I want to build a wardrobe consisting of flattering clothes that I love and can't wait to wear (without breaking the bank)! Thanks, Erin, for all of your kind and supportive advice.
Erin, your video was not what I was expecting by your thumbnail. I love the hidden content that brings it all home in the end of this video. Guilt is a word we need to take out of our vocabulary as women. Whether we are mothers or not we all need to be more aware of the example we are unconsciously setting for our children and others around us. If we always put ourselves last so will others. It is especially important for our daughters to see that self care equals self worth especially as we mature. That holds true for our sons as well. Powerful video in so many ways.
This is the fourth time I've heard "take care of yourself" in the last two days (you, my hair stylist, my weight loss community, nurse) so I think someone is trying to tell me something. Thanks again, Erin. You always tell me what I need to hear.
4 years ago, I lost the guilt. It wasn’t all at once. First I didn’t get guilty for spending time exercising. Then I decided not to feel guilty by spending $$$ on a nutritionist. Now I don’t feel guilty about spending $$ on myself. Nothing outrageous, but I do shop now.
Hi Erin, wonderful video. Extremely helpful and I love how you emphasize key messages we forget about ourselves for all the reasons you mentioned. I'd like to add I believe why women have also lost their sense of style is we are constantly bombarded with how we should look, dress, and feel to be a beautiful woman. This along with the pressures of life can just overwhelm many and they shut down. I love how you reinforce the basics, cut through the noise and state 'look at you (no one else) and find what you think looks good on you and makes you feel good!' Thanks for your videos!
Dear Erin, so true, so true! Today I came from operation. Instead of resting the rest of the day, I cooked, cleaned and did a homework with my daughter. My husband offered to help but I just felt, as you say, guilty. As a result I feel worse than when I came home. Conclusion? That proverbial mask in the airplane that you have to put on before putting it on your kids. Thank you and all the best!
I hope you are alright, Ekaterina! Let your husband help! You can't be helpful to your husband and kids unless you rest and recover! That's an order! xo
Reason #6: COVID 😂😂 Since March I have dressed like a hobo or an 18 year old. Half-jokes aside, I love your style and your channel Erin! I wish I could have your help to style a tall woman (5’11”) with the clothes you wear. I have some great jeans but dress pants are a pain. They’re always too tight in the rump and thighs and knees and then flare out a bit. I don’t like the wide-legged look. I’m not complaining about being tall though! 😁 Going to go through your basics checklist. Thanks!! 🤗🤗
Erica Henry Johnston I feel you I’m the same height, I have this problem with dresses and some skirts (especially now the fashion is changing to shorter hemlines again). Anyways I went through the basics list and realized I have way too many clothes in my closet even basics and that is even after I try to buy less and be more concious and sustainable shopper.😅 I guess they have just been piling up over the years...so I guess I need to do a proper clean up especially on my basics and shirts as instead of having a one item as instructed I own several!😂
I know it is easy to just throw on loungewear when we are staying home each day, but I promise you...if you get dressed each day your productivity and mood will increase. Spend some time on the checklists...that's a great place to start! For some of my favorite places to shop specifically for tall women, check out this blog post:busbeestyle.com/top-5-best-brands-for-tall-women/
Busbee Style thanks Erin! I knew Long Tall Sally would be on the list but I was pleased that there were a few stores that I hadn’t thought of. Long Tall Sally is nice but I find it’s for REALLY tall women. My inseam is 34” so it’s long but not Long Tall Sally long. Thanks again! LOVING your channel! ❤️❤️❤️
Yes, the guilt. Thank you for addressing that and thank you for saying that it's okay to take care of yourself. I think as women we can't hear that enough. I'm tired of feeling like a frumpy mom so I've started taking better care of myself and it really does matter because it changed my whole attitude. It's amazing how getting exercise, getting dressed (something other than yoga pants and a sweatshirt) and putting on a bit of makeup can make me feel better about myself and have more energy to give to my family. I'm so glad I found your channel!
One of your very best videos Erin, as I could totally relate and know a change is needed. Fill my cup first and then others. Thank you so much for the work you put into your videos focused to help us all become the best version of our unique selves. Been a follower for several years and learn so much.
Yes Erin "ridin' the joy train with you"!! Once again, you have put together a heart-felt video and talked about a topic that women struggle with. Yes, the 'mom guilt' is real. We lose ourselves along the way because we are taking care of everyone else. And it's really just an automatic thing that we do. It's awful that we feel guilty about doing things for ourselves. Thank you Erin for the encouragement and support. - I feel like you gave me a hug today lol. Turning my fashion mess back into happy fashionista!
For a long time I was ill and my my body changed, I lost my career, my role in the family changed and I really lost myself. After graduating from hospice, I had to grieve the loss of my old body/life. It took a while but one of the things I found solace in was discovering my new style for my new life. Not only has it helped me find my new sense of self but it has helped my family let go of some of their worries about me because they see me happy and taking care of myself. It was hard for them seeing me in a hospital bed for a year in pajamas. Now, even though I can’t leave the house because of COVID and being immunodeficient, I dress up every day and it helps me feel happy and confident and it helps them seeing me happy and healthy. Let go of the guilt and understand that by taking care of yourself-you can take better care of your loved ones.
Wow...good for you! Sounds like you have really spent some time focussing on yourself which is amazing! Love that! Wishing you continued success and happiness. Stay safe, Bonnie! xo
Thank you, thank you!! Such a great video. For me it’s # 2 and # 5. I used to have great style, but a big house that needed renovations and 2 babies later and I forgot all about ME. I put myself last, gained weight and forgot who I was and what I liked to wear. Over the last two years, thanks to stylists like you, I am figuring out my style again, I’m on a weight loss journey and I am slowly regaining the style confidence that I used to have. Thank you so much. ❤️
Maybe try going into your closet and think what pieces really bring you joy? When you go to a department store or even Target what type of clothing do you look at first? When you think of a celebrity, is there one whose style you really admire? Take these clues and try and go from there. Then go on Pinterest or Instagram and look for actual outfit inspiration. Our girl Erin has great videos for this, too.
Erin you have changed my life!!! I had no idea what a rut I was in! I made the changes you've suggested and the reactions I'm getting from my clients and family has been PRICELESS!!! I REALLY CAN NOT THANK YOU ENOUGH!!!!
Great idea! I do have a playlist of closet editing videos if you would like to watch them in the interim. I'll like them here: ua-cam.com/play/PL6xMaBj8Zyg8QCZBVFk2H6ByzEy72wsls.html
Wow, a very powerful video. I feel like I'm on track with all of the areas except the guilt. Not sure I will ever totally get rid of it but I'm trying. It's such a fine line to walk of taking care of yourself first but then feeling selfish. One area of improvement I've seen in the last couple of years is saying NO to the sign-up sheet without giving reasons or making excuses. Learning that my time is valuable without a specific explanation is progress!
Erin, you are so kind. Your channel has helped me up my fashion game so much. I feel like I know how to put together an outfit and make it look elevated and polished. Thank you for all your tips.
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I cried with the last thing that you’ve said. I always give what my family needs. I cook for them, clean the house, do everything for them. And I feel like nobody takes care of me. And I don’t know why it is SO hard for me to take care of myself first. To prioritize myself. Especially now that I am 43, my emotions are all over 😢
I hear you...you are certainly not alone! It's time to move yourself up on that list! xo
I am reading this and thinking I wrote this (except I am older). I know exactly how you feel and now hopefully how you felt.
When I watch your videos it’s like listening to a friend who’s giving me a pep talk in a really kind way
That's so sweet! Thank you! xo
Couldn't agree more! These videos are so inspiring and calming! Every chance I get...its Busbee time!😆💛
What struck me the most is dress for the size you are NOW. Middle age has caught up with me and I finally accepted it and I’m working on a new wardrobe. It’s so freeing! I feel and look better in clothes that FIT well.
Hi Erin. I dress very casual now. What is a great winter jacket that covers your behind.
Great points, Erin. "Dress the body you have now" is my major issue - and guilt, of course.
Thank you, Veronica! So glad this was helpful! xo
There was a time in my life when I had 2 pairs of worn out jeans- some Target t-shirts and a couple of sweaters my mom bought me. Then one day I woke up- as if I was in a fog for years. I’m guilty of all 5 of the reasons you point out here. I found your channel because I finally bought a pair of jeans and wanted to know how to cuff them- and you’ve been my fashion North Star ever since! Over the last several years with your help, I’ve built a wardrobe that I’m proud of and that makes me feel great. I feel younger, more attractive, more myself. It really is true - if you care for yourself- you enhance your self-respect and in turn can be there for everyone else in a happier more authentic way. Keep up your important work - I’m grateful for all of your help 🙂
Wow! Thank you for sharing, Melody! I'm so happy to have helped in your style journey! xo
Awwww. I loved reading this. Power of the internet! Glad you're feeling great!
I never felt like I knew my style so I was always a mess with too many random pieces. Definitely not enough basics. I have recently cleaned out my entire closet of every floral top and tunic and replaced with solid neutral pieces that I can mix and match and I feel fabulous! This channel has been an amazing help to me to start pulling together my style as I approach 50. I spent my 30's a complete mess. Best, most helpful video I've ever seen! Thanks Erin!
You are so welcome! I'm so glad, Kelly! xo
You’ve got me crying over here, Erin. Hugs to you.
You are so sweet, Ashley! xo
Me too. Trying to be a big girl but the tears are rolling down.
I've seen my grandpa go without so my grandma could have everything she wanted. He would saftypin his pants together. Wear the same 3 shirts for months while my grandma got all the clothes she wanted. He never complained. I asked him when I got older why did he do it. He said "a women deserves to feel beautiful, she deserves to smile and want for herself. Your grandma buys more but she "thinks" she needs to look pretty for me. I can tell her this everyday but she needs to believe she is as beautiful as I think she is". I'll never forget this. Now I'm the one putting myself last. My grandpa would be giving me a good lecture right now. Wow
Your grandpa was a very smart man...It's time to start taking his advice! xo
That is so beautiful! I wish there were more men like your grandpa.
😭😭😭❤❤❤❤ so beautiful
Several of these things really hit home for me! Especially the messy closet, guilt and I've totally hit the "I've lost me" phase. This was a GREAT video Erin! xoxo
Thank you so much, Anne-Marie! xo
Same here
Thank you Erin for so much good information and insight. I’m a 61 yr old professional who is now on disability because of a terrible spinal disease. I still work a few days a week but cannot afford the lifestyle I once could. This video touched my heart because I often struggle with guilt. I feel bad getting my grays covered or buying clothes for work because it’s all so expensive and my income is now reduced. I still feel youthful and I love feeling pretty. My life has taken a health and financial turn but my womanhood is still alive and I must feel good about myself because some days it’s all I have left. You are a true inspiration! ❤️
You're so welcome, Xomarah! Self-care doesn't always equate to spending lots of money. Just take time out for yourself! xo
Wearing clothes that are too tight because we need to lose weight is not only depressing and unfashionable but also physically uncomfortable and restrictive and often cuts off your circulation. I have noticed that I get nauseous and light headed when I wear pants that are a tad tight or a top with tight sleeves.
I gained 20 lbs without realizing it in my late 30’s (depression and lethargy were a factor). All of a sudden my clothes were so much tighter. Took a packed bus ride with my luggage on my lap, and grabbed a coffee while waiting for the ferry and all of a sudden felt the most intense sharp debilitating pain in my stomach and nausea. I had to lay down on a park bench I thought I would pass out. As soon as I undid the button for my jeans I felt a huge sense of relief and the problems went away. Very scary wake up call.
I’m a basic person.. I’m all about comfort! So I add a cool shoe .. or a red lip and I’m good to go. Basics are everything to me! White tees , long sleeve button downs, ( blue & white) .. i am cleaning out my closet and lots of things I’ve never worn are being donated. I ask my family first , if they don’t want it ..they go to a new home. Amen! 🙌🏼 I got rid of the guilt and took my kids shopping! They are happy, I am happy! Thank you for the reminder Erin! 🙏🏼
We all need a reminder once in a while, Ann! xo
I exercise every day for at least 1hr and a half no matter how many tasks I have and how long my to do list is! I call this self care! ❤
I love that you spend time on yourself, Iva! It's so important! xo
Not only do you offer such practical tips, it's the fact that you genuinely care about women and how we feel that make your videos so inspiring and why you have such a following. It's truly a gift!
You are so sweet, Angélique! xo
Erin , I can’t state this enough, your tips and advice have made such a significant difference in how I feel and dress everyday. Keep doing what you do, we need to hear more of this. Love from NY ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you so much, Kenita! xo
This video really hit me. I have two lil girls with health issues. I have lived at doctors and hospitals and always taking care of them . I don’t do things for myself . I starting crying watching this. Its so easy as a mom , especially to lil ones to loose yourself. I cleaned out my closet during our stay at home order. It felt good to go threw and really see what I had. What resonated with me in the video is the guilt. Even my husband tells me to go do something for myself: I need to work on this better and take the time . Thank you for the reminder and for talking about this!
You're so welcome! We all need a reminder once in a while! xo
I totally get it Erin. I hear you. My experience was when a Dr. asked me what would I do in a emergency on a plane. I said put the mask on my loved ones first. Wrong! Put your mask on first then put it on the people you love. You have to breath that air to stay conscious. That was a real eye opener for me. I have to put myself first. Thank you. You are awesome! Christy
Such a great analogy! You are so worth it, Christy! xo
Such a powerful message! The guilt struggle is so real! I think it’s especially tough for stay at home moms. When you’re not bringing in an income, it’s tough to buy for ourselves when there are so many other expenses and needs that have to be met. We often sacrifice our needs for the family. But you’re so right! If we don’t take care of ourselves, we’re not the wife and mother that our family needs us to be.
Exactly...Just make sure you are taking care of yourself so that you can take care of your family! xo
I LOVE that your channel lifts women up! ❤ I'm not happy to say this, but too often I see women putting each other down, or being mean, catty, or competitive with, or to, one another. It is so refreshing and inspiring to see women here forming a community to lift one another up and help each other. In my opinion, life is too hard to play such mean games to one another. It takes really mature, kind hearted souls to help each other, and that was what we were put here for.
So true! It's so important to support other women. Thank you for being on the "joy" train with me! xo
What an eye opener! I am all 5!! I just turned 60! I will work on this; better later than never. ThankYou!
You're so welcome, Becky! xo
i'm not 40 yet. over 30, actually. but i can admit, i do feel guilty spending money on cool stuff just for myself. guilt tends to get even bigger when i ask my husband if there's anything we need to buy for himself and 9 out of 10 times he says 'no'. oh well, i guess he's just a person of few needs. doesn't help with the guilt tho. so i try to find a compromise: i buy minor stuff every month according to my so-called 'wardrobe plan'. for example, this month i want a dress and a hat. so i buy just that. is it too much money to spend on myself? no, not really. is it helping me to make small steps towards building a cohesive wardrobe? yes, it does. does it make me feel happier? definitely yes. thanks for identifying the 'guilt' problem in this video. identifying the problem is the first step to solving it
So glad you are finding little ways to treat yourself and remind yourself how special you are! xo
I’ve been married now for 33 years (I’m 55) with 3 wonderful children. They are 25, almost 23 and 21. My husband has said the same thing to me for the 33 years! 🙄
So I used to also put the children first , husband first. .... then I realized a few years ago that I’ve always put myself last and felt guilty when I put myself first or near to first. I decided to join a gym, get my nails done and put myself on a personal spending budget for things I’d like to get but more pricey than usual. It helped me regain ME and I found that I was better for everyone else when I did that!
Same! I shop thredUp and have no guilt because it’s second hand and I find $400 shoes for $40 ! SCORE ✅🙌🏼
Stephanie Kaufman me too! We deserve it ! 🤗
My husband says the same thing (in our early 30s). Guys are mostly like that I guess
Hmmm Erin, the GUILT point hit it to 100%! I've done this for such a long time, but I broke out of that cage. You're absolutely right.
I'm so glad! Guilt really affects so many of us! xo
So, so powerful! And, yeah... I don't have the basics. :) I do purge my closet regularly, though!
Thank you, Pahla! xo
I subscribed but I never get the newsletter or emails. Love your content Erin!💕
you are the best thing to happen to youtube erin, seriously, this video, your checklists, your message, your vibe.....love it!
Thank you, Michelle! You are so sweet! xo
Um, all of the above. My closet is so overwhelming I don't even know where to begin. I keep thinking if I had more space I would be able to organize all of my stuff. Thank you for speaking straight to my heart. You always inspire me. ❤️
You're so welcome! Make an appointment with yourself to go through each item in your closet. Try each item on and ask yourself if it fits and flatters and if you feel amazing in it. Those that don't make the cut need to go. This will free up some space for you and help you become less overwhelmed! xo
Wow, what a wake up call for me....I am so sad right now, I prioritized everybody in my life but myself, I am 59 years old woman who doesn't have basic good quality clothes because I always save money on myself...This video is game changing for me, I need go through basic check list and build my basic clothes. Thank you Erin so much 💕💕💕
So glad this was helpful for you, Nina! It's never too late! You got this! xo
Erin, I love how your compassion for others shines through in this video. Thank you for your advise on “beauty & fashion”. But more importantly, thank you for your willingness to be real with us.
You are so welcome, Lisa! That's so sweet of you to say! xo
thank you 🙏 for keeping it real,
this is so powerful, your kind and generous advice are just the reminders I need to feel back on my game. 💞💞💞takeaways “dress the body you are in” -no more depressing dressing moments, and, identifying the “guilt” of self care - that is so real. I’m hopping on your train ...whoo whoo 😉
You are so welcome, Marisa! xo
Erin, I started watching your channel a few months ago and continue to be inspired by your advice and words of encouragement. In the last few months I battled my "guilt" of purging so many inexpensive wardrobe items and replacing them with quality, core basics and it has paid off - my husband and friends have noticed the change! I've found a new confidence in myself and appearance. Thank you and keep up the amazing work!
That's always my goal, but I'm so grateful that you shared this with me! So happy to help, Julie! xo
Last part got me crying! Women do so much and make so much sacrifices! This whole staying at home because of COVID has taken its toll on a lot of women too. I realized that just doing my brows after I shower every morning made a world of difference to me, it just brightens my face and lifts my mood. Thanks Erin, you are such a babe! 🥰🥰❤️
You're so welcome, Caroline! Yes...sometimes even the small things help! xo
Girl this is so true! And yet so overwhelming at the same time. It’s a daunting task 🤦🏼♀️
Oh Erin... your videos just get better and better! I can feel the passion for what you do by the look on your face! Thank you SO much for helping women! Again, I feel like you are speaking directly to me! Love, Kelly
Thank you, Kelly! That's so sweet of you to say! xo
Brilliant!! Thank you, especially for the last points - the guilt and taking better care of ourselves.
You're so welcome! You deserve it! xo
You are really amazing. Not only are you a stylist, you double as a therapist!
I know why we are all sitting here tearing up. Usually when people say, "You are an amazing woman" or something to that effect, they are just words. When YOU said it, I really FELT it. ❤️
Aww..thank you, Kerry! That's so sweet!
This is one of your VERY BEST! WOW!
After my divorce at age 50, after 27 years of marriage to a selfish man, I rid myself of guilt. I had a career and always made my own money, but I felt guilty if I spent money on myself rather than on my girls’ college educations, my older daughter’s wedding, etc., something my ex never did.
But after my divorce, I found myself again -my intelligence, my strength, my outgoing personality -all of it.
And I have not allowed guilt to take over my life since that time, and I am a young 72 years of age now.
Also, one important factor many women either forget or never knew is that women have different body types.
Some of us have small bones, some have larger bones, and some women will never be thin, that is unless they are either sick or starve themselves.
My shoulder measurement is 42” plus, the same measurement as my bust and hips. I have been walking at least 10 miles a week and eating sensibly and I at my age, I will never wear a size smaller than a size 12 in skirts and slacks or a 14 in blazers, shirts and jackets.
I look good in my clothes even though I do not wear a 6 or an 8. I have almost a flat stomach for someone my age, so I do not have to always cover my tummy. My short torso is difficult at times to
select clothing right for my body type, but It is what it is! So, I deal with it and try to look the best I can.
Sounds like you are in a wonderful and healthy place right now, Ruth! I'm so glad! xo
Wonderful and powerful video Erin! ❤ Thank you!
You nailed it
again! 🙌🥰❤
Thank you so much, Olivera! xo
Best birthday gift to wake up to!! Thank you for putting out content that is relevant, practical, and inspiring!!!
Happy Birthday🎉. You're so welcome! xo
Thank you for highlighting how many of us put ourselves last as a priority. You've helped me see the light.👍👍❤
I'm so glad, Jane! xo
Thanks for teaching me how to dress with style and to try to fall in love in me to eventually love my self like every person deserves. Your videos are instructive and sensible, they are emotional but in a nice way, to move something inside, that says: hey! You are powerful, you just have to belive in yourself! Thanks, waiting for your next video. Kisses from Spain!
You're so welcome! This is my goal! I want every women who watches my videos to feel amazing! xo
You seriously deserve more subscribers. You are one in a few that works hard on each and every video to help and inspire women of all ages. Thank you Erin ❤️
Thank you so much, Mona! You are so sweet! xo
Great video. It cuts to the core issues of why we look less than many times. Great tips and analogies. By putting ourselves first, we really are able to be more productive and that helps others. So, it's a win for all. Thanks.
You're so welcome, Karin! xo
Wow, this has got to be one of your best videos yet! So, so true. Thank you for the wake-up call...💟
Thank you so much, Mona! xo
This video comes at just the right time. I feel as if you obeyed in my head and said what I became aware of just 24 hours ago !! I feel guilty and I prioritize the needs of others.
If I change that, everything will change! thank you !!!
You hit the nail on the head, Erin. Moms put everyone else first, we need to realize we aren’t at our best for others if we don’t treat ourselves special and kindly. Thank you for putting this all together!
Exactly, Cheryl! xo You're so welcome! xo
This rings so true Erin, I've actually grown my nails using nail strengthener and growth, I'm 61, I've recently treated myself to a few new classic peices, not over the top, but still I now feel so guilty because, my daughter and grandson (20) are struggling recently, of course I help them both out, I'm still working full-time because I have all my life, and I love it, but I feel pain a bit more on the bones har, har, I always take your advice and get the best I can afford, basics are best, I love feeling good it spurs me on ;-) Liverpool u.k
Thank you! Taking care of yourself will allow you to be a better mother and grandmother! xo
Thank you a lot. I am seventy years old. You have helped me a lot. Florence Italy.
Great! Message Erin, I agree so many women lose themselves along the way. Time for yourself makes you better for everyone else.
Absolutely! xo
My “hot mess” closet is out of control! Slowing working on a cleanse. Great video, thank you!
You're so welcome! Here is a link to my closet organizing videos incase you need a bit more guidance. There are some recent ones and some older ones on this list: ua-cam.com/play/PL6xMaBj8Zyg8QCZBVFk2H6ByzEy72wsls.html
I have no kids and no guilt, if anything I’m a textbook shopaholic. But also no basics. I gravitate towards the sparkly shiny stuff. I need that checklist!
To get the basics checklists sent right to your inbox you just need to subscribe to my weekly newsletter. Here is the link: busbeestyle.activehosted.com/f/1
Erin, your videos just become more relevant and helpful every time! Thank you so much. Your advice is so great!
You're so welcome, Janice! xo
This really spoke to me. I feel guilty all the time and I do neglect myself. Thank you Erin , hearing you say you deserve to take care of yourself felt so good . And it made me think ..I do need to see about me .
I'm so glad this was helpful, Cindy! We all need this reminder sometimes! xo
I went through this when my kids were younger. Now I am so grateful that I reconnected with ME :).. AND yes I treat myself sometimes to a Chanel bag or a pair of nice shoes because they make me feel awesome. I like to call my home office my Zen Den and it is where I go and work on my gratitudes and affirmations and all things that make me a better person, mother, wife, and friend.
Wonderful! That's amazing, Grettel! xo
Thank you for this! I'm 46 and just now cleaned out my closet and finding my style again.
Wonderful, Jennifer! xo
I'm going to clean out my closet right now! I lost 30 pounds and my closet is mess. I've been putting off organizing it for ever, and now is the time!
(It's going to feel great getting rid of stuff that doesn't fit and discovering what fits me again! It's like shopping for free!)
If I had girlfriends that could join me today I'd take out the wine! Lol
You really will feel great! This is a perfect place to start, Sonia! xo
@@BusbeeStyle it feels like shopping without having to leave home and without spending money!
It is great to purge your closet with a girlfriend. She will tell you what looks good on you and what doesn't look that good anymore. But you can do it solo too. Good luck. And congrats on loosing weight. I need to loose some Corona weight too.
Thank you Erin. I feel like you can read the fine print on a woman’s soul to help her rediscover who she is and how to be her best.
You are so sweet, Stacie! xo
So true Erin and thank you! Excellent video, as always! #5 resonates with me so deeply... today starts the journey of adding myself to the list, in the #1 position! I have always acted out of love to care for my family and friends... today I begin a journey of self-love, thanks to your inspiring message! Thank you!!!
Yay! I love that! Glad you liked this one! xo
Everything you said is so incredibly true. It took me getting so ill to the point of almost dying that I finally woke up and understood the importance of self care. Now self care is non negotiable and necessary. I don't overindulge and I keep my me-time in balance with all the other things on my to-do list but I no longer apologize for being kind to myself and taking time for me. I was a hard lesson to learn but I will never go back to that destructive thinking that self-care is selfish. It is in fact so crucial and absolutely necessary if we are to fulfil our roles as caregivers. It starts with us. Much love to you my sister in style. XXOO
Wow, so beautifully said! Glad you have recovered and so glad you take time for yourself! So important! xo
Hi Erin, you made me well up watching your video, that's so me, I've lost my way, because of guilt, I wear really frumpy clothes and I'm also over weight and have no confidence, thank you for helping me to change the way I look at dressing, this will really make a difference 🥰
I'm so glad this was helpful, Tracy! It's never too late to put yourself at the top of the priority list! xo
WOW! I’m guilty of every one of these mistakes. What a great video Erin. Just the right video at just the right time for me. What bothers me the most is that in my 30’s personal styling was my side hustle. I did the closet edits, personal shopping, etc. I’ve had many days of piles of clothes in the floor for clients and the tears in the dressing room. How did I lose my way! I’m 58 years old now with too many clothes, in too many sizes. Menopause has done a number on me! I can’t seem to lose the belly fat. I’ve tried my hardest for years. Since my closet is classic, modern, timeless pieces; I can’t seem to let go of my previous wardrobe. It’s time to dress for the body I have now and if I get back down in weight then I’ll buy new pieces. It’s time to let what doesn’t fit go to the consignment store! Thank you sweet Erin. This is top ten favorite videos! Love ya and I 🙏🏼 for your continued success!💗
I can feel your emotion through your comment, Shelley! I'm so glad this video was helpful! Remember to put yourself at the top your priority list because you deserve it! xo
Tku SO much Erin. Yes been there. When I caught sight of myself and a shop window and didn't recognise ME! That's when it hit me! Yes learn to put Number 1 YOU first. You will feel human again :)))
You're so welcome, Anne! xo
Amazing video as always!!! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏♥️♥️♥️🙌🙏
Thank you so much, Tatiana! xo
You are so right Erin about guilty!!!!
Although we can feel it sometimes, it's so different when we hear it from another person!! Thanks for all🌸🌸 Kisses from Greece 💚💙💜💛
You're so welcome and you are right! Sometimes we do need to hear it from another person! xo
Honestly Erin, this is your best video ever. Because without this healthy mindset,
your wardrobe, style, etc. means nothing, and will never come to it's full fruition.
Thank you for posting this, you're the best. Much love from NYC 👛 xx
Thank you! xo
The Checklist is like a road map I value also dressing my body type and now. Great advise.
I'm so glad that you are finding these checklists helpful! xo
Such a great video. 2020 was a year of having a malignant melanoma removed, selling, buying, renovating and moving, turning 50. After moving, and reorganizing my closet, I’m coming to terms with myself, my style... it’s such a journey. Spent the first 40 years of my life with abusers and controllers - they ALWAYS had comments and opinions regarding my style, my clothes, my shopping and spending. Your channel has been so incredibly helpful. Thank you for all of the work and energy you put into these. 🙏✨♥️
Love that you are now focussed on you and I'm thrilled to be part of your journey! Thank you SO much for sharing, Karel! xo
If I am Honest, the Reasons why my Style *was* a mess is because.. 1. Mom came last ..Yes! that Guilt 2. I did have the basics, but my style was bland- no layering or accessories to Amp up my outfits 3. I wore a uniform in my career & when I was off work, I wore Jeans, top, shoes- quick, basic, comfy, practical & BORING. My Renaissance was turning 40! And... I found You Tube & You Erin! Many of us can't afford a personal stylist, so finding you on You Tube has been Life Changing! So, Thank You for what you do & helping women like myself.
You are so sweet, Prayon! I'm so happy to hear that my content is helpful for you! That's my goal...to help as many women as possible reclaim their style and help them feel great! I appreciate you sharing this with me! xo
This video made me buy the Kate Spade purse I have wanted for YEARS!! A new yummy yellow bag for spring and summer...Thanks Erin!!
Yay! I hope you love it! xo
Your last 2 points got me crying . Thank you for Talking about this - its a reminder for all the wonderful women out there that - we are important ....😀😀
You're so welcome, Badette! xo
You give lots of good advise on your channel, but this has to be the best. Thanks!
Wow, thank you, Karen! xo
I just purged my closet and found out why I don’t have anything to wear. It is because my basics no longer fit and will not. At least I can see what fits and I am investing in high end classics, my style anyway. Now that I am retired, I can’t shop at Saks and Neimans as I did in the past. But I did find I can buy classic in consignment stores, eBay, tred up and posh mark Thanks.
Sometimes we think we have the basics, but if they don't fit and flatter it's time to find ones that do. One by one, start replacing them with those pieces that make you feel amazing!
Gege's channel Such a good point tfs
Life changing. I think I keep myself together pretty well but you made me see that this is despite the fact that I am held back by all of these five things!! So easy to not feel good about yourself because you feel guilty about taking care of yourself and then the time and money you have spent is wasted which makes you feel guilty again! Think I will be playing this video often. Thank you Erin x
You're so welcome! Glad it was helpful! xo
My wake up call is when my daughter said, Mom you were such a fashionista ! Wow!
I'm so glad I found you! I did just wake up and realize I lost myself-after having a near-death experience. Now I'm finally trying to take care of myself and realized I have never changed my style-just wearing boxy clothes to hide in. I'm learning so much from you-thank you!
You're SO welcome! I'm glad you are ok! xo
OMGoodness Erin! How you nailed it! Really appreciate this video. I love the "dirty" five letter word too LoL Let's not even say or think that word any more. Thank you!
You're so welcome, Sabrina! xo
Great tips!! I don't feel guilt because I work very hard for my 6 kids and hubby. I love clothes, nails, etc. Plus my hubby loves that I take care of myself. Also I have 2- 5 year old girls that need to see mommy as a good example, not perfect though. Thank you❤
I love that, Pamela! It is so important to set a good example for our girls. xo
Great video! Add to the "guilt" list: Mistakes. "I spent so much money on it, I have hardly worn it, it feels like a waste to get rid of it." Another challenge is trying to figure out what you can wear with the figure you have now. Weight shifts, things change, and suddenly nothing fits correctly anymore. Add to that the question of "Am I too [gulp] old to wear this?" Because we judge ourselves, and we may feel that other judge us too. At the end of the day, I want to build a wardrobe consisting of flattering clothes that I love and can't wait to wear (without breaking the bank)! Thanks, Erin, for all of your kind and supportive advice.
Erin, your video was not what I was expecting by your thumbnail. I love the hidden content that brings it all home in the end of this video. Guilt is a word we need to take out of our vocabulary as women. Whether we are mothers or not we all need to be more aware of the example we are unconsciously setting for our children and others around us. If we always put ourselves last so will others. It is especially important for our daughters to see that self care equals self worth especially as we mature. That holds true for our sons as well. Powerful video in so many ways.
So well said, Tia! xo
I am a mess, just wearing yoga pants and T shirts every day. Thanks for the inspiration 👍🏼
You're so welcome, Kathryn! You got this! xo
This is the fourth time I've heard "take care of yourself" in the last two days (you, my hair stylist, my weight loss community, nurse) so I think someone is trying to tell me something. Thanks again, Erin. You always tell me what I need to hear.
You're so welcome! Time to move yourself up that priority list! xo
4 years ago, I lost the guilt. It wasn’t all at once. First I didn’t get guilty for spending time exercising. Then I decided not to feel guilty by spending $$$ on a nutritionist. Now I don’t feel guilty about spending $$ on myself. Nothing outrageous, but I do shop now.
That's amazing! xo
Hi Erin, wonderful video. Extremely helpful and I love how you emphasize key messages we forget about ourselves for all the reasons you mentioned. I'd like to add I believe why women have also lost their sense of style is we are constantly bombarded with how we should look, dress, and feel to be a beautiful woman. This along with the pressures of life can just overwhelm many and they shut down. I love how you reinforce the basics, cut through the noise and state 'look at you (no one else) and find what you think looks good on you and makes you feel good!' Thanks for your videos!
You're so welcome, Helen! Well said and an great additional tip. xo
Dear Erin, so true, so true! Today I came from operation. Instead of resting the rest of the day, I cooked, cleaned and did a homework with my daughter. My husband offered to help but I just felt, as you say, guilty. As a result I feel worse than when I came home. Conclusion? That proverbial mask in the airplane that you have to put on before putting it on your kids. Thank you and all the best!
I hope you are alright, Ekaterina! Let your husband help! You can't be helpful to your husband and kids unless you rest and recover! That's an order! xo
Thank you for who YOU are, Erin. You provide such words of wisdom.
You're so welcome, Suzie! xo
Reason #6: COVID 😂😂 Since March I have dressed like a hobo or an 18 year old. Half-jokes aside, I love your style and your channel Erin! I wish I could have your help to style a tall woman (5’11”) with the clothes you wear. I have some great jeans but dress pants are a pain. They’re always too tight in the rump and thighs and knees and then flare out a bit. I don’t like the wide-legged look. I’m not complaining about being tall though! 😁 Going to go through your basics checklist. Thanks!! 🤗🤗
Erica Henry Johnston I feel you I’m the same height, I have this problem with dresses and some skirts (especially now the fashion is changing to shorter hemlines again). Anyways I went through the basics list and realized I have way too many clothes in my closet even basics and that is even after I try to buy less and be more concious and sustainable shopper.😅 I guess they have just been piling up over the years...so I guess I need to do a proper clean up especially on my basics and shirts as instead of having a one item as instructed I own several!😂
I know it is easy to just throw on loungewear when we are staying home each day, but I promise you...if you get dressed each day your productivity and mood will increase. Spend some time on the checklists...that's a great place to start! For some of my favorite places to shop specifically for tall women, check out this blog post:busbeestyle.com/top-5-best-brands-for-tall-women/
Busbee Style thanks Erin! I knew Long Tall Sally would be on the list but I was pleased that there were a few stores that I hadn’t thought of. Long Tall Sally is nice but I find it’s for REALLY tall women. My inseam is 34” so it’s long but not Long Tall Sally long. Thanks again! LOVING your channel! ❤️❤️❤️
Eddie Bauer makes clothes for tall women. I buy a lot from them.
Boden has long option. Check it out.
Yes, the guilt. Thank you for addressing that and thank you for saying that it's okay to take care of yourself. I think as women we can't hear that enough.
I'm tired of feeling like a frumpy mom so I've started taking better care of myself and it really does matter because it changed my whole attitude. It's amazing how getting exercise, getting dressed (something other than yoga pants and a sweatshirt) and putting on a bit of makeup can make me feel better about myself and have more energy to give to my family.
I'm so glad I found your channel!
I’m 30 and this is still relatable. Thank you ❤️
I'm so glad! I do think this is relevant for all women! xo
One of your very best videos Erin, as I could totally relate and know a change is needed. Fill my cup first and then others. Thank you so much for the work you put into your videos focused to help us all become the best version of our unique selves. Been a follower for several years and learn so much.
You are so welcome! Thank you so much for your support over the years, Elizabeth! xo
Cleaning my closet and buying myself a Chanel Bag🤣🎉🎊
Too funny, Rosie! xo
Well, Chanel holds value too. So it's actually an investment. 😉
Sounds like a plan to me!!! ;-)
Aah me too I guess
Yes Erin "ridin' the joy train with you"!! Once again, you have put together a heart-felt video and talked about a topic that women struggle with. Yes, the 'mom guilt' is real. We lose ourselves along the way because we are taking care of everyone else. And it's really just an automatic thing that we do. It's awful that we feel guilty about doing things for ourselves. Thank you Erin for the encouragement and support. - I feel like you gave me a hug today lol. Turning my fashion mess back into happy fashionista!
SO glad you are on my Joy train with me, Cally! xo
Oh I'm so early today. Great video, I needed this. Some of the things I changed thanks to you already. For example I have basics now.
Yay! I'm so glad! xo
I agree 100% We all need a reminder that we are worth it.
Thank you, Devona! xo
For a long time I was ill and my my body changed, I lost my career, my role in the family changed and I really lost myself. After graduating from hospice, I had to grieve the loss of my old body/life. It took a while but one of the things I found solace in was discovering my new style for my new life. Not only has it helped me find my new sense of self but it has helped my family let go of some of their worries about me because they see me happy and taking care of myself. It was hard for them seeing me in a hospital bed for a year in pajamas. Now, even though I can’t leave the house because of COVID and being immunodeficient, I dress up every day and it helps me feel happy and confident and it helps them seeing me happy and healthy. Let go of the guilt and understand that by taking care of yourself-you can take better care of your loved ones.
Wow...good for you! Sounds like you have really spent some time focussing on yourself which is amazing! Love that! Wishing you continued success and happiness. Stay safe, Bonnie! xo
Thank you, thank you!! Such a great video. For me it’s # 2 and # 5. I used to have great style, but a big house that needed renovations and 2 babies later and I forgot all about ME. I put myself last, gained weight and forgot who I was and what I liked to wear. Over the last two years, thanks to stylists like you, I am figuring out my style again, I’m on a weight loss journey and I am slowly regaining the style confidence that I used to have. Thank you so much. ❤️
You are so welcome! That's wonderful! xo
I'm having such a hard time even finding my style. I've been able to leave my 9 to 5 behind and am not sure what my style might be without it 🙄
Try watching this video for help defining your personal style. It may give you a good starting point: ua-cam.com/video/GUYWq7CA_eI/v-deo.html
Maybe try going into your closet and think what pieces really bring you joy? When you go to a department store or even Target what type of clothing do you look at first? When you think of a celebrity, is there one whose style you really admire? Take these clues and try and go from there. Then go on Pinterest or Instagram and look for actual outfit inspiration. Our girl Erin has great videos for this, too.
Erin you have changed my life!!! I had no idea what a rut I was in! I made the changes you've suggested and the reactions I'm getting from my clients and family has been PRICELESS!!! I REALLY CAN NOT THANK YOU ENOUGH!!!!
Wow! Thank you so much for sharing this with me! I’m thrilled my content has been so helpful! xo
@@BusbeeStyle this morning my 14yo son told me I looked like s model!!!!!! I'm 41 and assumed thise days were gone! You are a total inspiration ✨️ ❤️
Next time you edit your closet, will you take us along through your decision making process? 💜🌞🌵😷
Great idea! I do have a playlist of closet editing videos if you would like to watch them in the interim. I'll like them here: ua-cam.com/play/PL6xMaBj8Zyg8QCZBVFk2H6ByzEy72wsls.html
Your advice is always appreciated and spot on! Thanks for what you do!
My pleasure, Cindy! xo
As you age that list of guilt changes. You do start thinking more of yourself
Wow, a very powerful video. I feel like I'm on track with all of the areas except the guilt. Not sure I will ever totally get rid of it but I'm trying. It's such a fine line to walk of taking care of yourself first but then feeling selfish. One area of improvement I've seen in the last couple of years is saying NO to the sign-up sheet without giving reasons or making excuses. Learning that my time is valuable without a specific explanation is progress!
100% Sylvia! We don't always need an excuse to say no, but we often feel guilty! xo
"Give of your overflow not of your essence."
So true, Sharon! xo
Erin, you are so kind. Your channel has helped me up my fashion game so much. I feel like I know how to put together an outfit and make it look elevated and polished. Thank you for all your tips.
You're so welcome, Lanette! xo