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My Wife Cheated on Me and Doesn't Want to Change...
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- Опубліковано 6 сер 2024
- My Wife Cheated on Me and Doesn't Want to Change...
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So the wife is unemployed, her boyfriend is unemployed, let them have each other.
Between alimony and child support she might not even need a job. Harsh reality of a good man.
@@ugladden could be the reasons she doesn’t want to pull the trigger on the divorce. Might be easier to make her case for it if he “abandons” their marriage and kids.
Paying alimony and child support for kids your permanently banned from seeing is the worst SIMPtom of being a simp
@@ugladden it's really sad. Getting cheating on after you've been providing, and having to pay the cost for the divorce.
@@ugladden specially in California ....
People who think the grass is greener usually end up playing in the mud.
This nugget of wisdom made my day
That line is a gem!
I like this never heard this one
Much worse.....they will have to use online dating. Good luck on that one 😂 Where the grass is dead and full of weeds with thorns.
The kids aren’t his biological offspring. He simply doesn’t know it yet. Just saying
Sir, You don’t need a marriage therapist, You need a good divorce attorney. Walk away and don’t look back. Cut your losses and hope for the best.
This is a ridiculous statement. Yes cheating is wrong and very hurtful but you don’t throw away a marriage over a mistake. True love finds the way to work through anything
@@Roger-sy7gv Sorry but you are completely wrong she was literally having an affair more than cheating. And looks that he is more invested than her trying to achieve a solution. The only thing to do is to divorce immediately
@@Roger-sy7gv Yes, You are correct just like Santa Claus himself will be personally visiting Me on Christmas Eve. Sir, if You really believe what you say, please look yourself in the mirror and get some professional help.
@@Roger-sy7gv that's not a mistake
@Roger-sy7gv 6 months of cheating isn't a mistake, I get that you have definitely cheated on your significant other and you're just trying to justify it, but you sound dumber than a bag of rocks 😂😂
Never accept cheating
My ex had an emotional affair. It was all online. So I was ready to forgive and forget. But then my therapist went "affairs happen. Milk gets spilled. That's usually not even the problem. Pay attention to who is cleaning up the milk."
And that's how I realized that maybe I didn't even care about the affair. But I actually cared a lot. The person who tips the boat should be the one to right it, and this matters, too.
And the fact it wasn't happening was what I could not accept. So it's also important to note this, too.
I 100 percent agree
I posted the comment on the wrong. Reply disreguard
@@DebraWadell it's all good Debbie we got you 👍. UA-cam has done this to me a few times, too! 😂
@@domeatown "Pay attention to who is cleaning up the milk" - YES. Beautifully said by your therapist.
When girls say “ he made time for me “ .. OF COURSE that man is unemployed
😂😂😂
Exactly she is delusional 🙄
Right? Ahaha
She will have a rude awakening when she goes and lives with him
Sounds like she's monkey branching.
So she wants to leave a hard working man, to be with a stay at home dad and she’s a stay at home mom? Interesting
She's not thinking she would rather be living in a fantasy and a lustful fairytale then to just live in reality and try to make the marriage work because she knows that a stay-at-home mom and the stay-at-home Dad aren't going to work out unless they're both millionaires
Lol I was thinking the same thing
Right?! Not that cheating with a working man would excuse her behaviour, but this choice seems completely foolish and self-destructive. She is really living a fairytale here. It sounds like she is leaving one of the best situations for her right now.
It's gonna backfire 😅
Right!! Who’s gonna work in this relationship?
Leave her bro. She’s definitely cheating. “He’s her best friend” is the classic affair answer. Don’t be a SIMP. Doesn’t matter how long you guys been together, she doesn’t RESPECT you as a man. She’s using you. Love yourself and find a new woman. She’s giving you all the clues that she doesn’t want to be with you
@@smalltimeoutdoors6112 I don’t get why people do this. Have some self-respect.
When I divorced mine after 15 years of lies and deception, it was the best feeling to come home and her not be there
Update
a few things:
1. Both working spouses are funding the "stay at home" parent's affair.
2. She hasn't committed to divorcing you because she has no job and likes that you pay for everything.
3. You're way too nice and she doesn't respect you.
4. If she knew you had boundaries and would kick her on the street in a heartbeat, she'd never do this.
Yup
#4 at the very least, it would make her much less likely to keep gaslighting, punking, and using him like when he first shared this; Sadly, she may have actually married him with all this in mind.
Or she would do it anyways and then the relationship would end. But the respect would be there.
Which is sad but is often times true.
Great response, Grace. Keep kicking ass at the gym.
@@caucasianafrican1435 Boer power!
If she was really an amazing mom, she would have never betrayed her family
That’s exactly what I was thinking lol. “She’s the most amazing mom”
True sis.
When you put your children at risk your not a great mom. PERIOD!
Na. The marriage is separate from the kids. Once people start to understand that, they will start to take better care of the marriage. You don't stay for the kids and be miserable. If they spent more time working on their relationship, they wouldn't even be in the situation
@@ineedhoez nobody is saying stay and be miserable. They're saying to be responsible and don't let it get to that point in the 1st place because it most definitely effects the kids.
I think part of being a good parent is showing your kids the value of fidelity
Am kinda surprised that Dr. John gave this poor guy some false hope, when he knows there s nothing left in this relationship.
Yea, I'm not sure why he did that. Although, in another video, he mentioned he would never tell a man to leave his marriage. Unfortunately, there are instances where a man has no choice other than to do that . . . including this one.
She’s definitely still in contact with this guy 100%
i believe so also
ID SURE LIKE AN UPDATE ON THIS
No kidding
This poor guy changed her phone number like she cannot remember or get his phone number again.
100 goddamn percent. She's legit on the couch texting this dude at night.
Monkeys don't just jump into the air. There needs to be another branch.
The ex and I were married 6 years with 2 young kids. I worked 6 days a week, she worked 3 nights a week. I put the kids to bed one night, around 10pm my phone rang and a woman asked to speak to my wife, "she isn't here, she is at work". A few minutes later the same woman called back and said, "your wife is not at work, do you want to know where she is"? She told me the dudes name and gave me the address to his house. I called a family member to come sit with the kids and off I go. To find my wife's car hiding behind his house. I knocked on the door, he opened the door while my ex was across the living room a** naked trying to get dressed! I told her to come outside, he said "she is not coming out and I have a shotgun behind this door that says you are not coming in". Well what a situation! I was a Army Ranger vet that just had the world dropped on my shoulders and of course I was not walking up to that dudes house to knock on the door unarmed and be killed on his porch. I made it clear, "if you reach for that shotgun, you will die where you stand"! I don't know if he was bluffing, but I wasn't. He yelled at her to hurry up and get outside, she came out and he slammed the door behind her and stayed in the house. I got the same story we all hear, (It's not what it looks like, we are just friends at work and he needed someone to talk to). So, that's your answer for being naked when he opened the door?
I told her I was going home, she needed to come home and get her stuff. The kids are staying with me until we talk to a judge. She said, "I am not coming home tonight, I am staying here". "I am leaving, if you are not home within 10 minutes of me getting there, I am coming back, I will go through that front door and I will take out anyone in my path". She almost beat me home.
As time went on, I wanted to thank the woman that called me, but I had no idea who it was. I eventually found out, she called me because she had just found out that my ex had been with her husband also. Over time it was apparent that she was running around with men she "thought" had money. Boy, was she disappointed after moving in with the one I caught her with to find out he was broke and losing everything. She was one that learned the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence, but sometimes that grass is dead!
I got a 4 page handwritten letter in the mail with no return address. It was from a woman’s husband who said my husband was having an affair with his wife. It went into great detail about dates, times, places, etc. Every time my husband would text me that he would be late coming home he was with her. She was his secretary. I filed for divorce even though I had been with my husband for almost 30 years. It’s devastating to the spouse and children. My children hated me for filing for divorce. I couldn’t tell them at such a tender age that their Dad was cheating on me, lying, and giving this woman money. She went back to her husband. I guess even though he wrote me that long letter he still stayed with her.
Dang man that's awful 😖 I'm so sorry this happened. But you are right about sometimes the grass is dead most of the time it's always dead. But you sound like a really good man, and I hope you found someone that loves and values you ❤
@@nicholahill3482 - Thanks, found a good woman and life has been awesome. I am just glad the ex done it 6 years in instead of 26 years in.
So sorry but thankful you found out. Love the way you handled the full situation. I pray your daughters are okay. I'm sure you've had a good conversation with them. Life goes on. So sad women who have a husband, kids, family would trade it off as if it wasn't the highest value. There are us single women wishing we had that & are true but out here working to keep up. Sad women don't value the importance of a husband. Bless you, hope all has gotten better.
How are your kids
doing ?
I’m a stay at home mom. I’m indebted to my husband for providing and being loyal to me. I would never backstab him like this. I’m so sorry for this sweet man. This woman does not see his value and he clearly is a wonderful man. So sad
Well said❤
Never stay with a cheater, GTFO!
Really my mindset. I couldn't live like that. GTFO.. It's also one of my favorite videogames.
I’m embarrassed for this guy. The fact he wants to stay is sad and pathetic.
@@mrv2308don’t insult the man
Love is complexed
@@crucifire9224 when someone cheats no it isn’t. Grow a spine and some self respect. Life’s already hard. So, why take something as backstabbing as cheating? No way.
He's gotta build his self-esteem, value himself, and learn to set boundaries. She's walking all over him and he's allowing it.
facts!
Yup
Women don’t respect men like this and in part that’s why they cheat. You can’t be too nice to a a lot of women.
Amen!
Yeah and the advice from Dr. John is that he should take more of it. 😵💫
She’s still in contact with him. Please don’t fool yourself. It doesn’t matter if her number has changed. She still has his number. She’s covering her tracks better this time around.
Without evidence he is not going to get full custody. A new number for me or secret phone would be an instant red flag.
Burner account.
He is really clueless she has him in the palm of her hand.
@@wdeemarwdeemar8739 Completely Agree...He doesn't comprehend that His Marriage is Over
They went to the same gym together. Probably have the same social circles. How do they not end up seeing each other again?
If she cheats, she belongs to the streets
I’m constantly stumped by people who want to hold onto to a partner who is checked out.
Because the person who has been cheated on hasn't checked out.....that's why?
and in America, its significantly cheaper to keep her, inspite of her cheating, because of the divorce grinder. if she had to pay for exit papers she wouldnt have had the affair, and there's little justification for him to pay for her freedom.
@@CafedeAvril how low does your self esteem have to be to stay with someone that clearly doesn't love you anymore?
Everyone is aware that marriage is through good times and bad right? Every marriage goes through times where one partner isn't into it, you know what makes the couples who make it 50 years ? They Chose to make it happen. Together the chose to fight for what they VOWED to do. Cheating and being beaten, as well as someone with gambling issues or drugs are the only reasons that are acceptable. "I just don't love you anymore " isn't a good enough reason. That's why we vow to make it come back to love in vowing to be together in good times and bad. This mentality is insane. At this rate no one will live with their spouse long. It's just ridiculous
Wow. I’m over here a single mom for 3 years wondering if there are any decent guys out there and this chick is cheating on her loving, devoted husband. Some people really have no idea how lucky they are. She’s a fool.
There are plenty of more than just decent guys out there but many of us are in situations similar to this caller. I've been honest and devoted for 13 years and still got cheated on for the better part of a year. Just found out in June. More trickled out in July, August and September. I now feel like a hollow shell of the man that I used to be. Im still here because we have 2 children but the thoughts consume me every single day for hours. I honestly don't think I'll ever get over it and I worry that she will never truly respect me. Cheating destroys people.
@Unknown Comment possible, but it's also possible that he could find one who could love him like he was never loved before. Being a single mother doesn't always mean the woman is bad
@Unknown Comment You know that we in the West think we are so advanced. Islam is stoning women for being raped and we think we are so above that. Aka for MEN who have done something to them. You are doing the same thing with single moms. It is not a choice to be raped or to be replaced vor left. A woman is a separate entity to a man and has no mind reading vor mind control abilities. Stop making women responsible for your actions. But you will still rationalize and try to make up some excuse to continue. Meanwhile single parent numbers are skyrocketing, they rise and will continue to rise. Because we are still pretending women can prevent men from doing this. The Propaganda is : just be a good girl and we will not do this to you. Then the awakening comes when the nice guy, loser, unattraktive guy we were told to choose dumps the mother oft bis children to prove he is alpha. And why should he not, after all people like you send the message to him that it is a-ok, no one cares what he does, all the blame will be on the woman because she was born with 2X chromosomes.
@Unknown Comment if they're the love of your life and it works out well, then how is it wasting resources?
@Unknown Comment You can date but marrying maybe not a good idea. Stay unmarried and see you don't get her pregnant and you'll be safe.:)
As a famous poet once said...
“She’s for the streets.” -Future 😂
💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
She’s for the runway
Yes 😂😂😂
😂😂😂
Big facts
If my wife cheats on me, I will leave her without a second thought. I would be happy as hell to be free from her physically and spiritually.
3 year update would be interesting.
I'm curious about that too.
Absolutely
Her wife called the show also.
@@jeanlenor1858 You mind sharing the link or vid title?
He went in to start 2 businesses and raising the kids. He also remarried an awesome woman and they are having a great life. His ex is miserable tho because the person she was cheating with she thought he had money but found out he’s broke and about to lose everything!! He’s happy she isn’t!!
Dude is naive if he thinks she doesn’t have a way to contact that guy. She’s home all day and so is he. Wake up!
100%
Exactly. There are 100 different ways to talk to someone in this day and age. Smartphones and social media are a cheaters playground.
Denial
Time to get some cameras installed and a secret trip for the husband so he is gone with ample time to record
He needs to wake up and smell the coffee
A good mother does not abuse her children's father by cheating.
Yep! Some commentors claim a bad wife can be a god mother. But if something hurts your kids its not separate from your kids.
Yup
Exactly
100%
I absolutely agree!!! You can’t be a great mother if you are a shitty wife.
I am not saying she’s neglecting her children but her children are suffering. The kids will find out how bad she treated their loving father and it will make them mad as hell one day.
She doesn't want to go to counseling. Then that's it she's checked out. And she's still in contact with him probably has a second phone somewhere that's usually what they do.
Facts!
He deserves so much more than this. I hope he finds lots of love
She has totally checked out the marriage and when she has figured out how she going to financially set herself up, she will be gone.
Yes
Gahhh anit that the truth
She will be gone ASAP
Facts! So sad how the system helps them feel empowered too
@@raulgallardo6081 disempowerment is not the answer. You don’t want someone to be with you just because they feel like they have no other options.
Imagine providing for a stay at home mom only to have her cheat with a stay at home dad? So emasculating.
It's only emasculating if he stays. Will be completely the opposite for everyone involved if he leaves.
Would it be less emasculating if she cheated with a straight Vin Diesel? Can't imagine it would be
That's why he doesn't want to let go
She's probably not even that hot
And she takes half his money for life. This is why men don't or never remarry
How people can cheat knowing the effect on their partner and children. It deeply saddens me and makes me question the world so much..
Those are some very powerful closing comments. Don’t let the ugliness of others change you.
When I was 7 my parents were going through a breakup. I knew everything that was going on. Don’t underestimate what your kids are absorbing. A decade later and I still remember
Amen!!
gia marie?
Sadly MOST people don't understand that when you CHEAT on your spouse....you CHEAT on your children. My Mother is almost 80 years old....AND still TALKS about the divorce she went through as a kid. The damage LASTS for generations....
I was 5 when my parents split. I'm 39 now and I still remember it all.
Children are WAY more intelligent than some people believe. Children can see truth.
She has already checked out of this relationship. There no way she’s not communicating with the other guy.
Right. Unless she doesn't use social media & stopped going to the same gym, I doubt it.
100%
Exactly. As soon as he said they changed her number, my first thought was they’re still going to the same gym whether there is a different phone number or not. She probably secretly bought a cheap phone and they are still communicating.
She must be.If she wasn’t, she would not be interested in ending the marriage.
She's probably already moved onto a different guy. The guy at the gym was just the one he found out about. It's like cockroaches...for every one you find out about, there are like 100 more.
This is wild. This was almost EXACTLY what happened to me. No kids, but everything else very similar. 10 years together, found out she was having an affair. In my state of shock I tried to save it. She was very dismissive and refused to let the other guy go. I played the pick me game. Took me a few months for me to snap out of it and finally leave. But man when you’re in it, it’s a different beast. I knew what I needed to do but couldn’t leave. I knew it was over but wouldn’t accept it. I knew that if one of my friends was in my shoes, I would’ve came down hard on them for doing what I did by trying to stay. But it’s just rough to lose everything you had and especially everything you thought you would’ve had in the future.
This story is old, but for anyone who reads this and needs advice - Walk away. It’s cliche as hell, but it gets better. As time passes, you’ll feel less and less pain until one day it’s just gone and you’re back to the normal you. You will be able to move on with life.
So heart breaking what he’s going through. You can tell he really loves her
He doesn't love himself, and she knows it , this is not love .
Call a lawyer. Cut ties, and let her have the loser boyfriend. They deserve each other, and you deserve better.
That's exactly what John should have said, but he goes into simp mode often.
Good advice.
@@chris00nj he does that all the time.
2 stay at home parents having an affair while their spouses are working… what a fairy tale. Let them have each other and figure out how hard it’ll be when they gotta work and do life. They’ll regret leaving what they had. This dude legit.
He's in denial thinking it's not physical at all.
Horrible advice. Letting her make any decision after she has already humiliated him is giving her far too much respect.
Leave her and move on. Dont waste 1 more day with someone who doesnt see your value... Rule #1, never be #2
Yes!!! Waiting around is just playing yourself. If they don’t want to make it work, then LET THEM GO
Best rule ever
Agree!! 100%
Your a good man and father ...best wishes.
@@roh_1111 well would agree with that, it’s not his fault. He should get full custody of the kids and at some point tell them what his scummy wife did. U know as well as I even though it does happen a lot, cheating is unacceptable. Ask someone what’s the worst thing you can do to someone else that’s not illegal and the answer is cheat. Especially as a husband and wife. With anything other than cheating u can at least try to work through problems, but cheating is where the line is drawn and done.
Sorry bud, it’s over. She doesn’t want to change. It’s been over a year and she’s defending her actions. Document, get a good lawyer and get out.
Totally!
She may later regret the affair if it does not work out.
He's in California. He's totally effed
Totally effed, indeed.
He is too weak. Sorry to say.
Save ur dignity. Run
Stay at home mom......... so you're working your a55 off for her. She cheats and she doesn't regret it. She even wants to continue. The big question is that why do you want to keep staying in that relationship? She betrayed you bro. She's not going to change
“She says she’s not talking to him anymore” 😂😂😂😂
What they're doing doesn't require much talking. 😂
She's gone. Collect your evidence. Lawyer up so you don't get run over by her.
1. Move out of California for at least a year;
2. Legally separate for at least a year (feel free to date);
3. Divorce without the penalty applied by liberal CA
Nope don’t date when you are going through this, you’ll trauma dump on someone else!! Stay by yourself and work on your healing. Focus on the kids. When the time is right you can date again. Dating isn’t running away from anyone……
Separate your finances, have a plan where you will live, cancel credit cards, file for divorce, move on.
This dude is wayyyy too nice. Needs to hit the road and leave her scrambling.
Agree he is wayyyy 2 nice - should send her packing not him!!
He's a simp
That's why he was cheated.
@@ebwonstia
No. He’s a man who works hard and had trust in someone. Also, I think having a hard time leaving behind a 14 year relationship isn’t being a simp, it’s being a human.
@@QuestioneverythingxShe is totally disrespecting him, the RELATIONSHIP and the CHILDREN. And HE is saying he doesn't "want" to make "the" decision? He is totally disrespecting his own kids. SOMEONE HAS TO GROW UP AND care for THOSE KIDS.
You deserve better dude. Put yourself first. Your spouse should be your best friend. IMO.
Yup! Or at the very minimum your spouse should put your emotional needs above anyone else other than their own and the kids. Although it seems counter intuitive, this dude putting himself first and acting with self-respect will be the only way his partner realizes their mistakes. Trying to 'fix' them will only push your partner further away. But this relationship is over and has been for a while. Dude needs to bail for everyone's sake, especially the kids.
Hard to find tho.
As a man you can never confide in a woman
I was married to a cheater. It won't end, especially since she has a different best friend. You are her sugar daddy, not her husband. I'm now married to the love of my life, because she is faithful. Cheaters are cheaters. It is the nature of their being. Dr. John is right. Get out and find one who is faithful. It will be the best decision of your life.
Too the caller, thx for sharing your story, I hope your family gets through this rough patch and shines in it's highest light. Good luck!!
I’m a stay at home mom and I can tell you I don’t have time for an affair, this is crazy and sad! I feel for him!
There's always time.
@@notfunny5013 yeah if you neglect your responsibilities.
True, a good mother actually don’t have the time or energy for an affair, husband is deluded
@@rebeccaoprea9917 Please...stop it. NO ONE is that busy.
Just time for UA-cam 🤣
Poor guy, this was hard to hear. He’s trying to put himself in her shoes and see if there’s a reason for the cheating. There’s no reason man, she doesn’t deserve you.
Get a private investigator and get some good dirt on the wife.
You can bet she's running you down in front of the kids in order to get them to say they want they want to stay with her. Get custody!
It will be best for the kids to be with the stable parent, even if you work full time.
I worked full time and raised my daughter on my own since she was about a year old. My ex-husband was not invested in the marriage at all.
Yeah she probably has a personality disorder or something. Too bad he didn't realize she was damaged goods before he married her. Now he's tied to this nutcase for life due to the children.
Once your wife cheats, it's a wrap. You will never trust her fully ever again and if you do take her back she will lose what respect she had for you because she looks at you like a simp.
The fact the poor guy is contemplating what to do is so painful to hear. And listening to him fully committed to this Dr. for advice sheds light on the depth of growth he really needs. Let it go and grow.
My husband and I agreed if one of us has an affair. It's over. Sounds harsh but it's so much better then feeling the agony like this poor man.
have you guys ever had a really bad feeling the other cheated?i had same deal with my wife and now have a feeling in my gut that she has cheated before i dont know what to do i want to kill myself
Separating is hard too, you have no idea.
Yup
@@melmel7011 So the better option is to stay with a cheating partner?
Duh I don’t know why some people get married
This is exactly what I’m going through right now. This guy sounds like the most genuine human being. Amazing how people can get bored with a person that’s gave them their heart and soul for so long. I’ll never understand it.
It’s like the wrong people always hook up. Good people always hook up with trash
@@LisaLisaCJ I always say the same thing
@@abnattitude All the women I'm friends with married good guys young (or good women, not everyone's straight), you must be hanging out with a weird crowd. It's also possible you aren't as great as you think you are, maybe have a close female friend or relative give you honest feedback about the energy you put out when talking to women. The creepy "nice guy" trope exists for a reason.
Also, good people sometimes cheat. I mean obviously the cheating isn't good, but these aren't all psychopaths. None of us are psychic and can predict who will and won't cheat, apart from avoiding people who admit to cheating in their past.
@RachelMaddowsWife, No they don't. If they were good, if they cared about morals and those in their lives, they wouldn't cheat. Which makes them not good. They might not be Ted Bundy bad, but theyre not good either.
@@LisaLisaCJyou said exactly what I came here to say, so true.
Sage advice from the Dr. to a man of moral integrity. Go all out and know you tried, regardless of her decision and the final outcome. I hope it does not become a choice between you two seeing a good MFT or you seeing Cordell & Cordell. Your family is so worth fighting for!
Stay up, King. Been there.
This guy seems like husband of the year... this woman is gonna regret this in the future if they divorce when she realizes how good she had it.
yeah, I was thinking the same... I just can't wrap my head around the fact that sometimes good people like that are hurt the most and are not appreciated... that's not fair, I feel bad for this guy
I understand your point, however you don't know this guy and don't know what he's like behind closed doors, so i'd err on the side of not thinking that you know everything or how it'll turn out.
@@whitneyw.7919 IMO there’s no excuse for cheating. It sounds like she had plenty of chances to leave, and if he was really that horrible she would’ve. It’s true that we don’t know her side if the story, but I doubt this guy would be going through all this trouble (including calling Dr. D) if he wasn’t genuinely trying to save the marriage.
@@angelac9694 There is no excuse for cheating. that doesn't mean he was husband of the year or that she'll regret it.
Having 2 children that you don't want to completely uproot their world and putting yourself in the financially disadvantaged place of being a stay home parent is a couple of many reasons it's not as simple as leaving when he's not husband of the year or it's not "working"
@@whitneyw.7919 "no excuse for cheating"
proceeds to make excuses for cheating
If she didn't respect the guy in the first place, she surely will not respect him after forgiving an affair. As sad as it is, it's just over when this happens.
Sad but true.
"Again; Don't get 'in her head' man..."
BRILLIANT!!!
That's a wicked cycle to fall into...
Which video is this so I can watch the full episode? John is awesome! Tactful, intelligent, compassionate and empathetic, funny, cool, and a stand up dude! Rock on, John! 🤘🏾
Was married 25 years same thing. Best advise I heard is you can't change her mind. Make sure you always take the high road for your daughters.
Yup. Or sons. The only reason I've handled my situation the way I have is so I don't normalize crazy to my kids.
Good Advice.
The kids are generally the last concern in the selfishness that is divorce.
An affair is even worse.
Poor guy is the Beta provider who doesn't understand that he will be happier with a divorce. Attraction can't be negotiated. It's time to start a new chapter, in a calm and loving manner.
He loves her but ya a beta male. If she will not stop this behavior right away then this is grounds for divorce biblically and legally and spiritually
This is what I was thinking
@@jesussaves89 Don't be deceived... Adultery is not a cause for divorce in the Bible. 'Until death do us part' If they do divorce, then he must remain unmarried and live like a eunuch until his wife dies.
Happier but broke
@@FreedomsNurse its not a cause or encouraged,, but Jesus did say divorce was excusable for adultry .
People underestimate the impact of a HAPPY marriage that shows this example to children. As a guy who grew up with two parents who took a LONG time to get divorced, I did not have the example of a "good" marriage and our house was VERY UNHAPPY.
The "good" example is critical for children.
Kudos to this guy, he seems so composed and is clear/verbose in his speaking. Hope he’s in a better place now.
I usually agree with the people in the comment section on these videos, but with this one I say STRAIGHT UP DIVORCE HER. PERIOD. I cant believe this isn't an instant thought.
He can’t be the only one trying. She’s waiting for him to leave so it looks like she’s the victim.
Yes, you’re right so she can get alimony because she’s not working.
Legend has it this guy is still on the phone trying to converge on a coherent point.
I hope this man is in a better place in his life today. I listen to the Hope in his voice and I feel his pain.
I feel so bad for this guy. He sounds like a great guy.
That's the problem. He was a "great" guy.
@@TheAustrianPainter87 His wife isn’t happy. Marriage is work.
@@schawnettarobinson8584 She wasn't happy because he was a great guy. She's much happier with the stay at home Chad...dad
@@TheAustrianPainter87 Happiness is real. Most people aren’t happy. Happiness comes within.
@@schawnettarobinson8584
You're already blaming him
by saying the wife wasn't happy. Imagine the crisis if the husband cheated and he wasnt happy. Nah, she's selfish and only cares for her happiness. She's for the streets.
She divorced him a long, long and long time ago...He needs to move on with his daughters. Be the bad guy with your wife and BE THE GOOD GUY FOR YOUR DAUGHTERS ❤❤❤🙏🙏🙏
¡Hey team thank you for your amazing job!
I'm so happy I found your podcast
I wish you the best ❤
If they were having an emotional affair for 6 months, I guarantee you, it didn’t stay emotional.
Seriously
@@OnjelieMarie
Really? How would you know?
@@ArmageddonIsHere it’s called common sense
@@ArmageddonIsHerethey both don’t have jobs and met at a very physically involved place (gym). 6 months of spending more time with the guy than her own husband and non stop texting. It definitely became more than emotional.
He sounds like such a sweet guy 😔
Sweet guy = Simp
@@Wyo2Wis He's been married for a over a decade and has 2 kids. He's not simping he just doesn't want over a decade of his life to mean nothing.
@@Wyo2Wis End of story.
Such a nightmare... sorry for the husband that has to support a stay home wife that does this to him. wow!
So it would've been better had she worked on a job and put his kids in daycare?
@@bev7236 It would not have saved the marriage. A person that is willing to cheat will find a way. But at least she would have an income so alimony would be less. She would be better prepared to be a single mother, post divorce.
@@patchup its convenient she waited till they hit the 10 year mark. She will also have to get a job. Even in states like california, she wont be able to support herself off alimony and the child support is for the children.
Kudos to the other man's wife for telling him. Don't know how their stay at home incomes gonna support their families. What a bunch selfish jerks
Dr John has made me view my marriage like a forest/jungle cause of his point of "rebuilding" thats all a forest does. It constantly adds and develops and sometimes they have fires or floods cause destruction and then it rebuilds itsself making a new yet familiar forest
You are being used as a meal ticket but even more so as a safety net. She wants to keep you around as insurance in case her other relationship(s) doesn't/don't work out.
Get a lawyer.
He needs to get his ducks in a row for a divorce before he talks to her about it. Dude, this marriage is over. Talk to a lawyer now.
That would require him being intelligent and respecting himself. Unfortunately he’s not either
It's not hopeless.
@@charlesg7926 Correct. How people treat says a lot about you.
@@charlesg7926Why isn’t he intelligent? He probably has very low self-esteem, which can happen when you’re damaged and cheated on.
I hate how in so many of these relationships it's like the marriage vows mean nothing to these people. It's heartbreaking to see someone stop communicating with their spouse, emotionally cheat, and completely give up on the marriage.
Don't waste your time. Get rid of her now. Protect yourself.
As Madea said: "You can't change nobody, that is a waste of time sittin' around trying to change somebody!"
If anyone cheats on you break up, there's no recovery, it's always in the back of your mind.
This is almost my exact story, minus being from broken homes… and, my wife left me for this other married man at our gym and then married him and tried to take my children to another state because he was military… won in court and they stayed…. disgusting people out there
Wow this guy sounds like a great man in an unfortunate situation. Prayers for him and his family.
Good or great guys don't make it in this world. I have been told that I’m a nice or great guy my entire life. During the last few years, I realized it was a bad trait. A lot of folks only appreciate that trait when it benefits them. But for people, it's a sign of weakness.
This was where I developed and still am improving my awareness. I put myself first and set boundaries with close friends and family. They Don't like the new me, but some didn't appreciate it and took advantage of the past me. Set standards for yourself and get stronger.
The same situation happened to me. My wife cheated after 14 years together and 2 kids while I was deployed. Cheated with a college classmate in nursing school. It’s been 5 years since I found out. She’s never apologized to me and we are separated. Just setting myself financially before I drop the hatchet. Respect YOURSELF! I know the pain of trying to keep your family together, but don’t be a simp!! Just let it go and save you YEARS of heartache, cause mentally, she will never be the same
Do you leave her?
Isn't that a killer, not just that she cheated and wrecked your family, she never apologized. She doesn't regret it. While I am generally a positive person, I can understand why so many have lost their faith in people and relationships.
@@11nica5 Yep we are no longer together. We are living in two separate places.
@@johnmininger7472 that’s the part I struggled with, was the fact that she became a sociopath and showed no empathy. She’s a sorry she got caught. But Karma ended up getting her affair partner. Let’s just say he’s behind bars now.
simps ended up start bringing mistresses after mistresses cuz they are coward enough to leave a beoken marrage
Let them be together, and, some months from now, she'll be the one calling the show... "So, like, my boyfriend doesn't work to support our family..."
Hahaha wouldn't that be something
I'm rooting for him so much! I hope they get through this. If she doesn't want to repent and change, he needs to take his kids and move on. Don't let that excuse of a woman raise your girls!
We were always Honest with each other um apparently NOT
😂 as Dr John helps him see the Red flags!!❤
His advice at the end was “let her make a decision?” The respect is gone. By letting her make the decision her respect for him plummets even more. How can she want a man that she doesn’t respect. At least if he leaves she’ll respect his decision.
It wasn’t an emotional affair, it is and always was physical. Shes done. Time to plan your next move.
He’s being treated like a doormat. He also lives in denial, almost a year with her staying in an affair. He needs to move on!
He’s giving her wayyyyy too much credit. How can you love someone who obviously doesn’t care for or respect you? Hopefully those daughters don’t become like their mother. I try so hard to teach my daughter to be a kind, empathic, loving person who treats others with respect. Teaching kids what a positive relationship is between their parents is huge.
She cheats on him and still gets the option to choose whether she stays married or not? Why is that her decision? He needs to retain the little bit of integrity he has left and leave this woman immediately. 🔥
"She don't wanna be saved, don't save her" - J Cole
Man some of these dudes that call in are pitiful. Letting their "wife" cheat on them. Absolutely ridiculous
If his wife is emotionally connected with another man .. she doesn’t love him .. only his wallet . Poor guy 😢