I Destroyed My Marriage (Can I Forgive Myself?)
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- Опубліковано 11 жов 2022
- I Destroyed My Marriage (Can I Forgive Myself?)
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“I had a ton on my plate and still found time to cheat” 👌
Make it Make sense
Good catch.👍
How?????
A person is reaching out and hurting, wanting to fix themselves and their life. This is what you have to say? Look at yourself first.
Doubt she had much to do, sounds more like she think little to do is much to do. Meaning things she didnt really wanna do was to much , and this girl is out from this world she need help she need to be alone 10-15years before date anyone
I can understand *feeling* overwhelmed to a degree that fits this description, but there is NO chance this person was working two full-time jobs AND homeschooling a special needs child AND doing all of the housemaking AND having multiple affairs at work conferences. There are not enough hours in the day.
Holes in the plot!
Not to mention volunteering at her church.
She’s a professional lier, she’s a master of self deception. She grasps at anything she can to rationalize her poor beliefs and behaviors.
You don’t know that 😂😂
And here they are ! All the ones yelling Murder and throwing stones!
She says she had 2 full time jobs, did all the housework, homeschooled multiple special needs kids, volunteered in the community and the church, AND had time to have multiple affairs?
I don’t believe her.
Agree. It’s not possible.
How else does one justify the rationale for why they decided to cheat on their husband? She was so busy carrying her entire household and saving humanity that she didn’t have time to work on her marriage with her husband. So she used the time she didn’t have to go bounce on another dudes jock. Makes perfect sense really.
Everybody makes time for something that they want 😊
You'd think she is trying to justify her actions or something...
Very common defense mechanism. She cannot forgive herself until she is honest with herself.
I agree. She is trying to minimize her actions.
She wants people to feel sorry for her for cheating and to understand why she did it. REALITY CHECK, nobody cares.
Wait till she sees the freaking comment section on this she's going to know people are not on her side and people can see right through her.
I cannot with her
AND nobody believes her.
I care for the guy who got cheated on… not her
Exactly I don't feel sorry for her
This was disturbing. She had time to maintain her affairs, volunteer at church, homeschool kids, cooking cleaning laundry, but no time to sit down with her husband (now ex) to discuss things...? Huh?
No way she had time for all of this. Entire call is a bunch of nonsense.
Thank you. This was my thinking.
Even if she did half the things she did, it is no wonder they had lost their emotional connection. Cheating was easier and felt better than working on your marriage.
Great point.
I hope she has time to read your post. That's a good one
This woman lacks insight and accountability. She is blaming her ex. She claims she was so busy being super mom/wife yet she found time to cheat multiple times.
I don't believe that about her at all. I think she just adds that into soften the blow of accountability or someone chastising her. People know their guards come down if they are moms and if they mention children. There's no way she was doing all that and have time to have sex with other men. I watch my friends who are parents barely have time to call me to talk. And when they do, they're exhausted. So how do you have a whole affair with a special needs kid?
Sounds like she found a second guy to use her. It can take less then 5 minutes to have an affair. Hopefully she gets outside help. Happiness comes from within one's self.
Yes. 2.5 minutes in and she’s blaming everyone but herself.
Um yeah lack of accountability is par for the course for women
She was married to a man child and she got her needs met somewhere else.
I've never heard John call out any of his callers as narcissists, well this woman here is a great example.
There is absolutely 0 positive result gained from telling a narcissist you think they’re a narcissist
Volunteering at the church with several affairs. That makes sense 🤣🤣🤣
😂
No devotion or fake devotion to God.
She is someone who wants constant attention and constant validation. She wasn't volunteering or serving the Lord. She was attention seeking so everyone could tell her what a good, giving person she is.
Girrrl…! These churches full of ratchet, dangerous ppl.
100%
"No one wants to be the villain in their own story."
Not sure who said this but it pretty much summarizes the video.
🤣🤣🤣 So true. lol
Nobody wants to be but some people are capable of it anyway.
It summarizes the majority of humans… there are few that are bonafide saints, are you one of those?
"I work 2 full time jobs and home school special needs kids." Does anyone else smell bullshit?
Yea, bs..
Through my phone…yes
Listening to her blame everyone, but herself then tell people to have sympathy for her is outrageous. I have sympathy for her children and ex husband. I won’t say she is a horrible person, but with her lack of accountability I think she will cheat again when she’s not getting what she wants
That’s why I love how he so lovingly kept bringing her back to response-ability and account-ability. And even how he explained she had to first take account-ability in order to actually forgive herself! We can’t forgive ourselves until we hold ourselves accountable (bc we’re still rationalizing our part…. it’s very important to know what we’re accountable for and equally important to know what we’re not accountable for)… so it’s ok that she holds him accountable for his bit as long as she holds herself accountable for her full bit as well.
People only hold themselves away from accountability/responsibility because they are avoiding it to try to be rid of shame. Shame says what you did in error is proof that YOU, INTRINSICALLY ARE WRONG. Well, that’s psychological death and so people go into denial of shame, self annihilation or projection/blame on others/circumstances. Sometimes there is external responsibility, and if it’s true, it’s equally important to acknowledge. Guilt is a guide~and a loving one that says this path is wrong and encourages us, with our own original good and soul, to get on the right path. Return to love and righteousness. The moral compass is truth at top love at south ourselves at west and others at east. There is no love without truth and no truth without love! ❤️ also when we specifically want to judge others instead of judging the bad actions alone and encouragement towards the eighth path (with natural consequences sometimes necessary) , it usually means we are feeling shame somewhere inside us… we need to call out the lie of shame within ourselves to free ourselves from its stagnancy AND to free all others from our own subtle or large projections. Even if we call out real wrong but we get into the energy of judgment of the core person instead of pointing the lost one in the right direction, it indicates we have shame that must be released for us to be free and help others to be free to grow, with the loving guide (guilt) 💜
That’s what I thought too. She was making the sob story after John asked who she was going to be as well. She isn’t going to make the changes. Zero accountability.
This behavioral pattern is called narcissistic personality disorder. Dr. Ramani is an amazing resource on understanding this pattern of behavior.
I really think she wanted him to tell her it’s ok and she should forgive herself without doing any work on herself. But she’s probably used to men not holding her accountable until recently
I'll say it... she's a horrible person....lol.
Lady own up to your mistakes. There's nothing worse than blaming everything around you & not taking full responsibility 🤯🤬
Totally agree with your comment.
YES
Yes
She blamed everyone else except herself.
Guess how this ends.
Agree!
I’m so confused by how she told her story full of contradictions. How would someone claiming to be as busy as she is find the time to orchestrate affairs with three other men? She’s in pretty deep denial about herself
And how do you have 2 full time jobs but also home schooling your kid??
Something definitely wasn’t adding up
Devil's advocate here. She met them at a work function. This didnt need extra arrangements. She wasnt taken care of emotionally at home. Once that fire was lit and extinguished she needed another source. She should have communicated her temptations to her husband and what gaps he wasnt filling.
17:00 this whole story was outrageous to me. Did he seriously try to soften outrage toward MURDERING someone?!?! He does realize that there are plenty of people who go through hard things and choose not to kill people, or cheat on them, or abuse them, or whatever. She did a terrible thing not once but three times- so stop trying to ask us to sympathize with her while she hasn’t even taken accountability for her actions behind giving us a lame list of reasons why she did it. What an absurd call.
@@mspolicecall I understand what you’re saying but my understanding was that all her attention was going to finding someone to make her feel better. She said the second guy happened because the first guy wasent giving her enough attention so she started looking elsewhere. It’s not just the time spent screwing the guys it’s the times where she wasent emotionally or mentally present in her marriage and her family because she was so preoccupied with repairing her bruised ego. The secrets and texts and emails and setting up secret meetings would take a lot of time
Caller says, I was maintaining a home, doing laundry, cooking, cleaning etc. welcome to being an adult, medals are not being handed out. Running around and cheating with looser guys will not make it better.
Best comment I've read by far. You've given common-sense advice. If the nitty gritty daily investments are not making you happy, a thirty-minute trip to the carnival is just going to make it all seem tacky. If you don't like what you have and you can't see a good end for you or your kids, deal with the present and move on. Then look forward and carry everyone toward something new. Don't lie, deceive, or cheat because that's only a quick, cheap gratification that will demean you and your kids, and your spouse...and any future partner you hope to have. Do the work.
Right?! She wants a medal for being a functional adult
That part😂
Funny how women like this cheat with complete morons, then ask where the good guys are at.
Hell I'm a single guy and I have to cook, clean, do laundry and dont get to split bills with another person. Heck, I even have to fix the roof and the bathroom floor.
When do I get my medal of honor?
(Me bowing over expecting someone to put it on my neck. Then I look up and see that everyone is just looking at me weird. Lmao)
She's one of the worst cheaters I've heard on here. She takes no accountability at all. I detest cheaters
She was volunteering “everywhere”🤦🏼♀️ Zero accountability. And when she said that the guy wasn’t married. I guarantee all three were married. I have no respect for a woman that cheats when she knows the man has a wife. It is the worst in the world to be on the other end of that. My husband did it to me three years ago and to say I was devastated is an understatement.
To be honest I think all three of them were married the first two just wanted I hit it and quit it situation just to please the ego and then the third one just wanted a side piece just for him to use so he can get his fix if he wasn't getting it at home. And let's be real here I think this is a woman who cannot handle being told you're never going to heal from this and you're never going to move on from this because she doesn't want to face the reality that she caused this destruction in her life
She said "I don't think so", which to me says she didn't know and intentionally didn't try to find out so she wouldn't have that additional guilt
Yeah I noticed she avoided admitting to wrecking three homes. Also, with all that work, home school, and volunteering how did she find time to cheat three times?
I’ve been on the other end of that, too. I’m sorry that you experienced this. Her answer was “I don’t think so” when asked if the first one was married. More avoidance and she’s still a victim of it all. I have zero respect for blame shifters. I was married to one for 18 years.
Hopefully you left the scumbag
I'm married, and I take my vows as serious as one could - to commit adultery three times is a bad person. One time can be called a mistake, at your lowest and you gave in to temptation. To do it twice more after that screams pleasure-seeker, dishonest and self-centered and someone who shouldn't have entertained a marriage.
This isn't holier than thou talk either - I firmly believe divorce is much better than forever scarring your partner.
Cheating once is a choice not a mistake. Unless your thinking about emotional cheating that I think can be a mistake but you catch yourself very quickly if the other person wants to get physical
I knew before he began that John would pamper her and pander to woke feminists. I've got to stop making myself sick listening to him take calls from female abusers.
He's great with the male side, I'll stick with that.
Exactly!
Yep
Once can be a mistake, more than that is a HABIT.
I might could forgive a terrible mistake (with marriage counseling and work) I could not forgive a series of habits
The call to ask for forgiveness for past mistakes when she’s currently still in it. Unbelievable.
So much effort , premeditation and time and thought goes into having an affair . She was so overwhelmed with with being a butcher , a baker and a candlestick maker that instead of putting the time she did have in her marriage, she went and had multiple affairs. Got it 👌🏾
😂😂😂 spot on!
When I was reading this, I thought of that song “The Joker” by The Steve Miller Band only change words to “cuz I’m a butcher, I’m a baker, I’m a candlestick maker”.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@juliehernandez80I’m a Caaaaandle-STICK MAAAKer 😂
🎯🎯🎯
She’s going off about how busy she was yet found time to have THREE affairs?
Mam, take some responsibility.
Also 3 additional men…that’s disgusting.
I hope her husband got tested and he tested the kids as well
Exactly…
It’s equally disgusting when men cheat/are promiscuous as well. Men struggle haaaaaard with accountability/responsibility
@@juneelle370yes but it’s been studied by sociologists. Women are worse.
@@juneelle370this isn’t a man on the other side of the phone dumb fuk
She was sooo exhausted working “2 full time jobs” that she somehow had the time to have 3 “full time affairs.” Anyone see the irony in this? If she feels guilt it’s bc she has REFUSED to admit her part in all of it.
It just takes 30 minutes 😂
@@jovanjancev1433 less than that lol
@@Jo-vu1meyeah she definitely seems like a pump and dump. She’ll be crawling back to her husband begging for a second chance once her “savior” finds a new woman to sleep with at work.
@@jovanjancev1433 It takes 30 min if they literally live next door. If you have to drive to wherever the place is, and then come back. And maintaining the talking relationship with the affairs... That takes a long time. Regardless, normal people have one affair, and it is usually a mistake and a flare of the moment, and that is already terrible enough, this lady had 3. She's too far gone.
Affairs were her full time jobs.
Hilarious, she destroyed her marriage and her home with her own selfishness and it was his fault for not “communicating”. Maybe she wasn’t worth communicating with….
Hard to grasp how she was expecting communication let’s say if she was truly as busy as she says she was and then filling the remaining time communicating with the men she was having affairs with. But we all know that in all liklihood that isn’t the truth but is the excuse to explain her behavior that she feels takes away some of the sting of what she did rather than being accountable for her poor behavior. As with anything it’s easier to point the fingers then take a hard look at how you contributed to the problem. And what’s sad is that nothing will change for her because she isn’t fully accountable and isn’t seeking to be but is just trying to feel better.
I don’t like how John treats men and women who have done the same things so differently. If a guy cheated on his wife and kept giving excuses and not being accountable he would have been way harsher with him.
because he probably knows that women are the demographic that watches his show. Same reason why Dr Phil and other hosts like Steve Harvey all simp for women and blow smoke up their asses.
Just the world we live in. The double standard most people are blind to. But also, tough love works better with men, typically, and soft love works better with women.
Because John is a narc. lol. Seriously. Why can’t more people see it. Either that, or a horrible therapist. But most likely both.
The lack of accountability is astounding. The same people giving her a pass would be foaming mad if it was the husband saying the exact same things. Either everyone is equal or not and deserve to be treated with kid gloves. This picking choosey nonsense needs to stop today
How about all people are of eternal worth and every journey is different. Her mistakes are different than mine or yours, but I have certainly been ashamed of my mistakes and deflected blame because I didn’t want to believe myself to be the bad guy.
@@staleydu1 Sure, sure... About her mistake though, hypothetically speaking, being in her husband shoes, would you go "let bygones be bygones" or would you stand up for yourself ? Quit excusing bad behavior ...
@@staleydu1 she is trash
For some people, not all, it goes like this: If the man cheats, the man is a POS. If the woman cheats, the man is a POS.
Societal hypocrisy at its finest.
@@staleydu1oh please. You’re the lowest of the lowest when you cheat. The whole everyone makes mistakes BS is so easy. No not everyone makes these type of mistakes and we certainly should shame disgusting people like her
I'm a serial cheater too...and I stopped dating/am completely off the market. It's sad and lonely but I refuse to put others through the pain I've caused over the years. Until I get better and get to the bottom of my issues I will remain single. She should too...
Thank you. 🙏🏽
For the street u are and owned it. Respect. But face reality u probably will never get married or have a long time relationship because of your past. That doesn’t mean u can be happy. Good luck
You are incredibly brave and an amazing person for being able to say this. Kudos!
For her, that's too much like the right thing to do...
This is wonderful. I hope you heal and make amends to those you destroyed
Great job John! You gave her what she wanted on this phone call. Validation for making horrible decisions and buying into her excuses. I’m probably more shocked at your behavior on this call than hers.
Yes!
She sought absolution and she got it with no effort. It doesn't wound like she has actually remorse, she just doesn't like being thought bad of. She's a walking red flag, narcissistic and has given none of this any thought, she just wants to all go away and "let's judt pretend we're kids again" and blah blah blah. She talked about no one else except herself cause thats all she cares about. Worst call I've heard on here and mist of em are bad.
I listen to his stories, but he gives women like this horrible advice and doesn't call them out.
@@panacheautomotive4298 bingo!
@panacheautomotive4298 women for the mot part can't handle it. They seem to be allergic to accountability
Mark my words: the way a relationship starts IS THE WAY the relationship ends. This will fail whether he or she ends it by the same sword.
Really insightful comment! I've never seen it that way before. I guess we should just ask Khloe Kardashian if what you say is true...🙄😏
If they cheated to be with , they’ll cheat on you.🤔
“If you live by the sword, you’ll die by the sword.”
Said Jesus.
If they cheat WITH you, they'll cheat ON you. It's the nature of who they are
She sounds very narcissistic and maybe worse. I can tell by how she speaks to John that she's a seductress. She uses her sexual prowess to get her way. She's trying to charm John, she hasn't taken a breath during her explanation of excuse making, and I personally find her to be really annoying like she's trying to fool me and con me into something. She doesn't feel sincere to me at all. I feel like this call is just somehow part of her manipulation tactics. This woman needs to stay away from men period.
Yep. The confidence in her voice, guilt free laughter, never faltered, never hesitated, "lots of male friends". She wanted John's attention and validation and she steered him right down the path she wanted him to go.
@@margie909 I wish more men would arm themselves with knowledge about maladaptive women
She mentioned how she has a lot of guy friends, which is not healthy when married. Of course having couple friends or sharing friends with Hubby is healthy, but not having her own exclusive male friends. She also mentioned not having friends after the move so her first friend is a male who becomes a lover? She may have learned to play men. Just speculation, of course. Perhaps She has been straight laced and puritanical with all men prior.
@@veracityhunter7777 yes. It was hard to watch as she got the stroking from John that she was seeking. He pushed her to "own" what she did which she then twisted into, "I can't believe I did it. . . It was like watching someone else do it. . .
and John agreed. Ugh. That was a golden moment for her. She seems to like to portray that she helplessly, with little forethought just found herself having sex with her THREE lovers. The PLANNING that goes into having an affair contradicts all her BS. Point blank.
@coldbrewing YES. That's always a red flag.
Cheating is never a mistake. It’s always and will forever be a choice. She had PLENTY of opportunities to walk away from cheating but she still made a choice to cheat. She’s for the streets!
How did she have time for an affair with all she claimed was going on?
Obviously it was not her fault (sarcasm).
she made the time yikes.
Exactly
People make time for something that makes them feel alive.
@@Nah-ah"Alive" she could be off doing anything that makes her happy except for seeing men, and trying to fix the marriage, or just ask for divorce..
Sounds like she’s already forgiven herself and just needs a simp to confirm it for her
She found the ultimate simp
she called the perfect man for that
@@boston312😂
So basically what she found out is that she thought the third guy was gonna be make her happy...he is probably cheating on her now....KARMA always comes around
Not probably but definately
It’s easy for the other man to make you feel smart, funny and see value in you because your aspirations are much shorter in scope than for someone who wants to be your partner. Part time jobs are a lot less stressful because no one has delusions about what they are.
beautifully said!
Another reason it's easy is because they don't get "you at your worst". Your flaws and imperfections etc. I'm sure she put her best foot forward but in an established relationship (not new) our mates finally display their TRUE selves and we do too. If you can't make it past that stage in any relationship you have an unrealistic view of it.
Working 2 full time jobs, homeschooling kids, volunteering, cooking, cleaning.....??? Yeah, ok Superwoman!
this girl still tryna come up with excuses to justify her nasty cheating behaviours instead of taking accountability...🤦♀
Just like the men who cheat… accountability is in short supply with both the sexes. They don’t understand that account-ability and response-ability is a gift of life-the only way to grow. Guilt is a loving guide to better actions (and to prevent wrong ones before they happen or to develop guilt where it belongs after error)
I am still trying to figure out how she had time to cheat.
I have no sympathy for a person like this. Anyone who cheats and keeps those details from their spouse / partner, it just doesn't get more evil or sinister than that. Yes, its nice that she realizes her guilt and shame. She put it there. She put that on her family also.
"I don't think you're a bad person."
I do.
Complete BS. She claims to be dealing with guilt?? No way. Not a drop of guilt or remorse in her voice. She's in disbelief that she committed adultery, but she's not feeling true remorse or guilt. If she ever stops blaming her ex and takes full responsibility, she may feel true guilt.
Why are so many affairs at work? Damn people. It should not be a sexual marketplace. Even if you’re going to cheat don’t bring that kind of drama to work.
Probably because you spent most time of the day at work?
Pretty sure there are simply just a lot of affairs. At work. Outside of work. And men get blamed but frankly wives are just as bad or worse.
@@Unspun417 oh I agree I just think people should leave that drama out of work. Yes Women are just as bad.
Wowzers! I was Sherry! I totally messed up and went and did a similar thing for similar reasons. It was a super long journey with some really bad stuff that happened, but here were my takeaways:
God saw all of it and I couldn't hide
God brought me back to him and forgave me, even when I felt unforgivable! (He's amazing! )
He punished me severely, but not as much as I deserved.
I felt his grace as he slowly brought me back!
I was a coward: I stepped out of the marriage instead of bring the meeting to order and confronting the terrible things that were going on.
When you cheat, it's like twisting the knife.
People have a lot of emotions that come up when they see someone going through a marriage break up, (we all have some kind of experience with this) and they all tend to come out. Don't assume your situation is the same as everyone else's.
Cheating makes you feel SUPER guilty.
There's hope and healing when you turn to God and repent.
Yes, I'm a bad person, but God redeemed me. And he can redeem you as well.
As a 24 year old who's has a unique life experience growing up in a different country and culture, what advice would you give me? I've never been in a relationship. How to identify an incredible potential partner who stays with us for life coz the country I grew up in, a lot of people do.
Also, how to prevent cheating?
Thank you for sharing so transparently! God's grace is real! 🙏🏾
Amen and thank you for your testimony. We are all bad people until we get washed by Jesus blood and cleansed and humble ourselves and repent. We’ve all been awful. Watching PRN is awful. All of it is awful betraying the ones we love. Just know we have all done something shameful and it takes more courage to own it and have others throw stones than to hide it and blend in. God bless you greatly. You are made new in Jesus Christ. You are not the old man you are made new. Walk on your new identity while acknowledging where Jesus brought you from and His mercy and grace is the revelation! We all need that. Don’t live in continuous shame. It’s okay to be ashamed I was too. We have to let it go because Jesus said He would remember our sins no more. Learn from it and be a testimony and start over ❤
AMEN 🙏🏾. FINALLY SOMEONE WHO IS HONEST!
I think your in the most danger of doing something terrible when you can convince yourself you aren't capable of it
Amen
Alex!
These are the women that aren’t mature enough to be married
Men seem to LOVE these types. I think it's because they usually lack sexual boundaries. Men forget to look at her character because shes so seductive. I can tell by the way she speaks to John.
@@veracityhunter7777 true
@@paulaaquino heard many men say "crazy in the head crazy in the bed". That's when all my sympathy goes out the damn window. There are plenty of healthy stable women who with the right man, in the right amount of time, with the right amount of trust and loyalty; can give a man the best sex he's ever had. However, with how porned out everybody is and desperate they don't want to wait. I've told the men in my life it's a red flag when a woman is willing to give you your every fantasy right away
@@veracityhunter7777yep. And her husband sounds like a weak, beta male. Or he doesn’t care about her. She said he was still kind and non-reactive during counseling and confession. Sounds sketchy
I am so done with this guy for letting her off the hook.
It's really nice that dr.Jhon show compassion and inspire them to do better, I'm sure that there's a lot of people in this situation and they don't know what to do .Dr John you give them the right advice and Hope that they can do Bettet
What??? 😂 I hope you are joking!
Cheating is NOT a "mistake." It is a series of deliberate choices.
Stop with the minimization.
Lads, avoid this woman at all costs!
I’ll say it out loud, lady, you’re a bad person. You don’t have THREE affairs, destroy who knows how many lives in the process and get to be called a “good” person. No ma’am, you gave that title away when you made those devastating choices.
💯💯💯
Yes. She won’t admit that she is a lousy person. She called to try and make herself feel better.
@@amydoran9987 Yep and Dr. John was WAY too soft on her. Had she called into Dr. Laura's show, she would've been chewed out.
@@ChopChic1 I miss listening to the Dr Laura Show!!! She told it straight up!
Hahaha. and u are perfect?
First counseling session after she mentions two full time jobs and homeschooling: “let’s explore your need to tell lies”
This lady’s lighthearted tone is ridiculous. She destroyed the lives of so many people. She doesn’t get it yet.
She spent the first 5 minutes painting herself as a saintly neglected wife and bitching about her ex to provide an excuse for her behavior.
Nope. Her husband deserved better.
I'm sorry, but I don't think her husband deserved anything but a massive wake-up call. Dive in and help or go. She should have focused on her marital relationship first, but she was frustrated and fatigued. We all know that is the death knell for loyalty in a household...if it goes on year after year.
@@sherryd.3425 so you're blaming him for her actions? He was being the person he was supposed to be for her. She decided that she was bored and wanted to cheat. Then did so repeatedly. It is her fault and only her fault.
@@sherryd.3425 I don't think cheating is ever right or justified in any situation..???? At all, ever???
@@residentevil2928the person your replying to, that was the callers name 🥶
@@MijoShrek that's unfortunate
Cheaters are notorious liars and after 3 affairs, lies probably just roll off her tongue with ease. At this point, you probably can't put any credence in anthing that she says.
Guy#3 gotta realize that for the simple fact he IS #3, it ain’t him, it’s just his turn.
@@kevincoleman9855Exactly! Not like her life got easier once leaving her husband. She still has every responsibility in life just like when she was married. Only thing that changed is who is sleeping in her bed.
What a damn good episode. I have never cheated but walk a mile in someone else’s shoes. Gonna call my girl and tell her she is sexist thing in history.
I was just going to go tell my husband. Funny how it puts things in perspective
Tell her she's beautiful instead ;)
I wouldn't call her sexist LOL... unless you are trying to break up. You might want to call her the sexiest. :P Or stick with amazing, beautiful, incredible or other non-sexual ways to show your appreciation.
@@wholelottalight it's a typo or English is not their first language when they talk like that
I would, and do love it when my husband calls me sexy. Beautiful is great too but I don't know why you're telling him not to make it sexual. I love feeling like I can rock my hubby's world
This woman may never be ready for marriage. She probably a love junkie. All the attention needs to be on her.
She’s full of it, the first two minutes is all her qualifiers for why it happened. No accountability at all. Any man that marries a woman like that is a complete fool deserves what he gets.
Yep she is a carousel 🎠 rider. Let a 304 be a 304 🐒
Running a red light is a mistake. Three affairs is a choice.
1. She listed out the excuses to not take accountability.
2. She has 2 full time jobs and got time to cheat with three men?
3. It is everybody’s fault, but hers
People forget that this show is a therapy session show. Obviously he is not going to sit around and pass judgements . He will try to help the caller
She gonna do it again.
There's no way two cheaters are going to make it work😂 especially with her need of male attention and validation
Here’s how karma works, she will meet the ‘love of her life’ and karma will come, and ask for interest. Marriage is a sacred covenant and just because you’re overwhelmed with life, it’s not an excuse to cheat on your partner. Lastly, cheating is a process and a choice, meaning the time you’re given to deceive, should be used to communicate and reconnect with your partner. No excuse.
Marriage is a sacred covenant? lmao. Have you seen the divorce statistics in this country?
@@boston312it's still better than being like an animal spread legs to everyone on the street while you have a family it's weird!!
I just listened to 20 minutes of this and I already know this woman is not only in denial that her whole life is in shambles but I also believe that she knows automatically that the man that she's currently with is also going to leave her for somebody else. You know the old saying the way you get them is the way you're losing. Not to mention that she already knows and it's probably petrified of the fact that she's about to be a single mom of two children one of them is potentially special needs or both of them are potentially special needs and working two full-time jobs being a homeschool teacher and I guarantee it within 2 years she's going to be so burned out that her ex husband it's going to take her to court before custody. Another thing that people don't want to have a conversation about is how she really just checked out when things got hard think about it she's working two full-time jobs he's working a full-time job she's homeschooling the kids and I guarantee it she didn't want to give up those two full-time jobs and more. She could easily gave up one of her the full-time jobs went to counseling went to therapy and tried to make the marriage work before she started cheating. But she wanted to take the easy way out and it ended up burning her in the tail big time. There's also a part of me that feels like she wants to get back with her ex husband my question is are they still legally married or are they divorced especially since she left him to be with the other dude. You can hear it in her voice that she knows that she wants somebody to say what she did was not okay but it was reason enough for her to learn from it and move on as if it never happened. She didn't get her answer she's going to have to live with the rest of her life knowing that she not only destroys her marriage but her family and her children sense the stability to begin with. why do you think the first two affair partners left her because number one they only saw her as a booty call and then after that they went no contact. And if you think the third one's going to stay around to be a stepfather to two children that are special needs no way especially since her estrange husband or soon to be ex husband or even ex husband is still in the picture and probably wants to beat the crap out of this dude. This is a woman who basically also needs to prepare herself for the day that one or both of her children ask her why aren't you and Dad together because she will have to face the consequences of when that happens. Not to mention the fact of having one or both of her children hate her for her selfishness. In addition I'm surprised it her husband hasn't DNA tested the kids yet. Not to mention get himself tested for any STDs. Because if she's willing to cheat on her husband three times how many of those times do you think she was unprotected
TLDR. It’s not the end of her world.
She was already a single mom
She should feel guilt and shame because she's guilty of doing shameful things.
She has a lot of excuses for someone who had THREE affairs.
Women like this are what scare me about marriage. You can "know" someone until the going goes tough and they start just thinking about themselves.
Love this convo Dr. John. You’re always doing a great job
I'm not making excuses and I'm not trying to justify it, but it was all my husband's fault.
Couldn't stand this caller. Just divorce your husband already and let him move on
I really dislike her
I like how you said you don't think she is a bad person. Thank God for redemption. Hopefully she learns from this. It is not the end of the world.
I was wondering how she could even find time to cheat since she was so busy
Sounded like cheating meant to her a little remote flirting and some one-night stands.
Maybe, not affairs..... Just having sex, whenever
I can definitely sympathize with the situation. I was in a marriage almost like this. I had to work two, sometimes three, jobs because my ex-husband basically refused to earn a living. And we had a son who had special needs like the caller. Despite this I had to do all the work around the house and everything else. He just refused to be present and refused to take any responsibility. And I admit I thought about cheating all the time. I never went through with it though. I felt (and still do feel) unappreciated and unloved. I never did it but I still feel guilt to the state even about the thought of it. I understand what they mean about feeling alive. I did feel dead inside. Still do a bit.
glad u left his lazy ass
You are strong enough to make the right decision. Divorce is always an option. It's better to take care of one child than two children.
I don’t blame you one bit for how you feel. It is NATURAL and ESSENTIAL to feel emotional connection. We hope we can find this connection in a spouse. I pray you find emotional support w/ friends & family in the meantime, and that your husband decides to be present soon.
I would run to a divorce lawyer if a guy I was married to refused to work.
@@katiez688 I agree with you, but do you also agree that a man should divorce his wife if she refuses to do the typical womans role (regular sex, laundry, cooking, etc)?
I still can't get over a household with 3 full time jobs. Recipe for disaster. Unreal
I'm really praying for this man I just feel so bad for him this is what we men go through and nobody cares.
She belongs to the streets!!!
~corey wayne
Grace is important for those that seek it. Good on you for giving her grace. We all make mistakes. But we all don't try to improve.
“I have a lot of guy friends my whole life” lol. This woman fills her life with superficiality while ignoring a real relationship with her husband. To do that she is gonna have to slow down and feel whatever tension she has inside that she now works constantly to not feel
Some woman live in their own world, huh. A world without responsibility/accountability and wise decisions.
So do some men. Wow, imagine that, human commonalities.
@@b.1162 it’s mostly women that do that. Society coddles them out of taking responsibility at large
3 different men?! Are we really gonna act like that was a ‘mistake’
The barrage of blame shifting at the beginning was breathtaking!!! She he has so much guilt over how it ended? The fact she’s with 3rd OM tells me that’s BS. Hopefully Mr #3 wakes up and realizes that if she did it with him, she’ll do it to him.
😲 she's calling bc she wants to be free of the guilt from cheating so she can move on in her current relationship, which is technically the third affair?! WTH.
Ah, bed hopping and it's everybody else's fault.
🤣🤣🤣 this woman is a joke. Can't wait for her children to find this video. Lol "how do I not feel guilty for being a garbage human being who destroyed my family because like I was bored?"... is all I hear.
Delaney is awesome. Honestly if she was so busy she’d have no time for all these other men, not shaming her just pointing it out. We make time for what’s important.
Feeling alive is important when you don't feel that way and she was doing it all during work time
@@rikkitabor497 😂
Go skydiving or cliff diving to feel alive not have sex with dudes who's not your husband. Haha
I agree with you, Dr. Delony. I like Sheri. I'm so glad you have -- as you always do --treated her with kindness, and given her excellent advice.
I am glad for your intuitiveness during this call, John.
Ironically, just as Sherri found a fantasy in online conversations, we can put on an illusion during a 15 minute phone call with someone we don’t know or have never spoken to.
Everyone’s feelings are valid from what I’ve seen, but that doesn’t fully explain gaps in understanding we don’t have.
Wow she is a TERRIBLE person. I couldn't even imagine not having one....not two....but three affairs and then acting like a child and blaming everyone and everything else for my actions. I feel bad for the person she's with now, she's probably going to cheat on him too, and the poor children affected by her actions.
That's what I was thinking. One might be considered a mistake but three! She doesn't even seem sorry.
Yeah this is where I do not agree with John. I think she lacks some serious character. She's definitely not a good person.
@@veracityhunter7777 I think he basically somewhat said you were responsible but he made her feel like it is your fault but because of everything you were doing for the family we're going to let it slide. And you really shouldn't the man that she's currently with is going to leave her at some point because imagine having to see the man who's married you destroyed every time she has to go pick up her kids or every time he has to go pick up the kids. This man is getting ready to check out of his relationship with the caller she just doesn't know it yet
The sad part of that is she has no insight and really doesn't care she just wants somebody to say what you did was wrong but it's okay because you were doing everything else with the family
Work conferences are notorious for hookups and affairs. Men and women out of town, nice hotel, nice dinners, free flowing alcohol, spouse is usually not there with you. Recipe for cheating. Ask me how I know.
i really really like how you handled this one Dr. D. good work
I'm not throwing rocks. God have mercy for all the heartbreak that all of our mistakes cost.
I hope you can own your past in your letter, and feel those hard feelings, but only hold on tightly to the feelings of Honesty, of Hope for a better life, of Conviction to change.
It's hard to do the right thing but it's worth the fight.
God help us all fight for what's right, and live in grace, and integrity, and peace.
I don’t really think that she’s a bad person I think there’s a lot of issues going on here with her and I hope she gets well
I assume by your handle you are a female. I hope when your husband or boyfriend cheats on you 3x, I hope you say the same thing...... "You are not a bad person, you just happen to poke your dixk into 3 different woman by mistake"
Great episode!
love all the judgement from all you perfect people in here
Her ex-husband is to blame 100%. Poor lady needs to just forget about the past guilt and meet some new dudes for fun.
He was only good as a provider and babysitter for Tyrone.
😂
But she said she's still with the 3rd affair dude.. She's full of it. You were too soft on her.
Awesome Dr Delony!
This was a very good call, though I have never been there as our caller but I do understand the situations. Sometimes as humans we are just 1 to 2 steps away of doing things we think we will never do if we don't take active continuous steps to ensure it does not happen. I do not condemn this caller at all. I greif for those hurt by bad decisions but Dr delony did great in identifying the important of taking ownership of the bad decision and being honest with yourself. I have found that as humans we like to be dillusional in out thinking. Great call. Life is like that
I want to start out by saying that I appreciate Delony's ability to have and show empathy. As a new fan of his show and listening to a lot of the past YT vids, I'm having a bad feeling about how easy it is for him to have "the hard direct in your face" talk with men vs women. I can just imagine this caller as a guy "I've been busting my balls insanely busy, my wife and I had all these active plans and she just stopped caring about them, I'm a super dad with a hand in everything, I didn't feel cared for at home at all anymore, etc, and these aren't excuses its just explaining the buildup and then I had 3 affairs". What would Delony's response be to him? It would have been the same message "you need to take accountability and ownership over what you did and start new", but it would've come with the heat needed for the caller to get the point.
I understand that its easier to get down and dirty with our brothers to drive a point home, but our sisters need that same energy, too.
This lady hasn't learned a thing. she's all about herself. And Her being with the affair partner still proves that. Imagine being the ex or the children And Seeing her with the guy she had an affair with and it's a constant reminder.
Dang she had all that going on but managed to slip out for affairs
cheaters always make the time to get it in.
My husband always gets just a little nervous when I go to work conferences. I always laugh and think it is cute but now I know why.
so what did you do to break his trust?
Why don't you reassure him and earn his trust?
You don't think he laughs when he tells you he's going to hit the bar with his mates? Lol 🤣🤣🤣