Husband Inappropriately Touched a Minor... (Is Our Marriage Over?)
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- Опубліковано 6 сер 2024
- Husband Inappropriately Touched a Minor... (Is Our Marriage Over?)
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When I was 17, I was in a play and the 45 year old director gave me a ride home. We were parked in front of my home. I told him I had feelings for him. Crazy teenage stuff. He said: " I am 45 years old. You are a child. Get out of the car and go home."
Damn, he's a good one 👍
Good for him!
Love a happy ending! Honorable man!
@@jordanferguson2254 Wtf? “He’s a good one?”…? You say that about a boyfriend who randomly shows up to your work with flowers not about an adult that chooses not to rape a child.
Thank God!
These old men really think 13yr olds are checking them out. How delusional can you be
This is exactly how Humbert Humbert justified his actions toward Lolita…their delusion is that they don’t think anything they’re doing is wrong.
@@annabethdiana5857 Humbert Humbert is an unreliable narrator. When you study the book in college and pick it apart, you learn that his side of the story is justification and very much slanted. He's a liar. He says she seduced him, but that's not true.
12:50 AMANDA....RUN.
If you read some of the comments here you will see that it actually does happen and the responsibility is on the ADULT
@@fundamonium no person in their 20s let alone 13yr old is checking for some wrinkly balding blue collar old man who’s probably out of shape. Like seriously get real here. A lot of men truly believe they look better as they age . They look worse. Young women are not looking your way unless you have some money to spend. Delusions of grandeur is why most men are single & lonely
The fact this grown man had the audacity to blame his missed childhood/trauma to have physical contact with a *MINOR* is absolutely deplorable. 🤮
There always seems to be trauma…
@@Printknight528it’s perpetually sadly. hopefully this guy got caught before he went further.
That's my ex. Met him online at 13, he was 23/24, finally met him in person last year. Dude is a weirdo and creep and groomed tf out of me. Don't ask where my working parents were, no one knew about him until I was meeting up with him, he was definitely a walking red flag. And the fact he doesn't consider himself a groomer/pedophile and tried to blame me is a class act. He's 35, single and still looking online for people to fill this void. He is a FUCKING weirdo.
@@mongoliansummer3599 to better understand, what made you look for these online relationships?
It's what they do
Ultimate shame on the minor girl's father for not going to the police immediately. What a horrible message for his daughter.
My gentle, incredibly kind father would have ripped apart anyone who hurt me. I think my father raised his voice twice in my life and he still would have gone after anyone who touched my brother or me.
yes, it s called double trauma in psychology. and frequently absence of appropriate defense for a parent will hit stronger trauma vs initial assult
Unfortunately it doesn’t sound like any laws were broken. It’s disturbing for sure but just hand holding isn’t illegal. She definitely needs to leave him but it doesn’t sound like she will.
@@user-rc3pk4xy6r who knows. social workers and psychologist should proper interview the girl to know more
Soap and the inward to look at your daughter in the street.Would you also go to the police to have him arrested? How about if he sneezed next to you or your daughter? Is that assault too.
The wife will not leave him. Her tone isn't angry enough for the situation, she has already forgiven him and he will continue to be a predator.
She's trying to be the wife the church has taught her she is supposed to be: meek, supportive, suppresses her own needs for her husband, if her husband strays sexually it's obviously her fault, and most of all she's supposed to be submissive to her husband and let him rule over her and the family. She's even saying she "is struggling to come to an understanding" as if any of that should be her responsibility.
No wonder she can't seem to get angry or think she should leave. She's been conditioned that way. I can hear that conflict in her voice.
Preach
@@EmpressMermaid If she’s truly been conditioned to be that way the church is doing a bad job
@@EmpressMermaid amazing how so many people think they can read other people's mind.
If she really felt the way you described, she would never make this call
He will continue to be a predator whether she is with him or not. A divorce won't solve him being a creep. That's not how those people think.
“There’s a void from his teenage years”??? WELL, THERE’S A VOID IN JAIL AND HE SHOULD FILL IT!!! 😡😡😡
Yes!!!!
Miss my childhood too but I don’t have the desire to get me a child 🤢
EXACTLY!
I hope his fellow inmates fill ALL HIS VOIDS!
Affirmation comes from wife, not some kid
He wasn’t holding hands with her to cross the street. He was holding hands with her as a sexual advance. He needs to be in jail, this will not be the last time. I’m scared for this community.
Grooming.
I doubt is was the first time either
Is that even a sexual advance? I was waiting for more but he just held her hand? I wouldn't go holding a random kids hand but I can def see a million times that's fine and completely appropriate, it's just so context dependent. I mean the stuff he said after is kinda what felt really off. If I just saw someone holding hands with a child I wouldn't think that was suspicious at all.
@@AlmostMeantToBewith all his "explanations" and excuses, such as having a void from childhood and telling his wife that she was biting her lip at him, yeah this was a sexual advance and instead of doing the NORMAL THING and being repulsed by this, he held hands with her as if to say, "yeah let's see if this goes somewhere." Gross. But the man needs help. There's more going on deep inside of him that he's never told anyone. Thank God it's coming to light now instead of years later after building a family and having multiple children with this guy.
❤
That husband targeted the child and claimed he wanted to learn the sound booth so he could get close to her. He’s a predator.
Yes grooming!
That's what I'm feeling
THIS THIS THIS
And the wife is his handler. Making him look normal in society. Bringing the P to church.
So gross.
Church staff are mandatory reporters. This ladies predatory husband should have been in jail.
So true they have a duty to report...there is no reason not to
Unfortunately not in every state. Utah just passed a law a few months ago to say they arent due to clergy confidentiality. Its so evil
@@sleepyhermit5758and since when is it the norm for churches to actually report child abuse? They always like to keep things within the church.
I came here for the full video because the short video gave me goosebumps, and I needed to know the full story. The whole thing makes me angry just like it did to Dr. Delony. As a member of the Church, a parent, a mandatory reporter, It pains me that this young girl will be scarred for life while that man is bathing in his sin without consequences. Someone should find out and report all of them (husband, wife, girl's parents, and church leaders) to law enforcement. None of them did the right thing by covering it up to save the face.
@@sleepyhermit5758yeah of course Utah. The Mormon community is the worst for this. Mormon Stories Podcast is astounding to listen to
This woman let that little girl down as much as the church did.
How?
Not this woman…the church and the dad. She needs help to leave.
@@kristenscott3004she victim blamed her. Believing her husband saying a 13 year old was biting her lip. The husband doesn't need protection but the child does. They all failed her. It's disgusting
@@SuckerPunch92My 13 year old sister gets crushes on older guys. Adults. She does sometimes forget boundaries and tries to be flirtatious, but then the adults in her life say no because it's not appropriate.
@@emma_luce_0623 what was the point if your comment?
EVERYONE let this little girl down. The church, this woman, even her own parents. My heart breaks for her and I pray she gets justice and the help she needs.
The caller is extremely confused, conflicted, betrayed, and her judgment is being clouded by the insufficient responses of the actual perpetrator, the church, AND the girl's family. Point the fingers at those three entities before pointing them at the caller. At least I can understand why her view of things is messed up. Her life is falling apart before her eyes. The others have no excuse.
As a Christian, the church failing to do the right thing absolutely infuriates me.
Christian too-I completely agree.
This normally happens in the church and it’s every religion and church to exist that’s the thing they always push It under the rug. You’ll realize one day the Bible is not real just a book to make you conform and feel better then others because you think your doing the holy thing
Even though no "sexual contact" happened, this husband is still extremely dangerous. This husband is the type who will slowly groom a child.
100% agreed. Serious question though…would he really be arrested for holding her hand? I feel like
No prosecutor would take that case isn’t there not enough evidence for a conviction? I agree it’s abhorrent behavior and likely shows he’s a pedophile/sexual deviant.
@@UnknownWarriorZzThe justice system is reactive, not proactive. They would probably investigate the complaint, but yeah. Nothing illegal happened if what he's saying happened just the way he claims. It really is ridiculous that the church elders did nothing. Completely useless leadership.
I wouldn’t doubt that he “wanted to learn to do the lighting” specifically because he wanted to start trying to get close to and groom this little girl
RUN!!!!
Yes, I don’t think what he’s done warrants jail time but he certainly should be on a sex offenders list.
Thank you for clarifying that a 13 year old does not make moves!
Correct, children cannot and will not be able to give consent for anything of that nature. I would not be surprised if this child was not the only one. CPS should have been called, period! Why take the risk?
It's possible that a 13 year old may try to be provocative (these days you see everything) BUT as an ADULT you don't entertain things like that coming from a minor. But since he's a sicko he did
When I was 13, I saw my female 13 year old classmates do just that and brag about it. Substitute teacher or another male came in the class, several of them would go after. Try to sit in his lap, try to touch him in inappropriate places, pass out phone numbers.
One time I remember 3 of them tried to lock him in a room and get inappropriate. All 3 were suspended. Luckily for that guy the room had a camera in it and backed up his story and contradicted theirs.
He's still 100% wrong, but let's not be naive to reality.
@@MariaSalazar-sq9so a minor can absolutely be provocative. Their body is being flooded with hormones.
However that in no way makes it right. The human brain is not fully developed until the age of 25.
@@mattwesley4435 which is why I said that he is a sicko for even going along with it
“He felt a teenage void “… wtf . I would be leaving my husband .
I have heard that line before. It usually means "I want to sleep around" or "I am sleeping around". Just in this case, his targets are teens or younger.
Yeah
I wanna know how that explanation came out 😂
Exactly
Who the hell doesn’t file a damn police report?? A MINOR WAS TOUCHED INAPPROPRIATELY.
Each and every one of those so-called “ministers” ought to resign.
Right???
@girloffaith16 I might hesitate to file a report if I had the opportunity to be alone with him in a quiet, out of the way place, in possession of a lead lined bat…then I might be willing to delay filing, just so we could have a nice little chat… yes, a chat.
Why is holding hands inappropriate? You see parents holding their kids everywhere.
@@hacccccc978 it’s more about the intent behind the hand holding. He wasn’t holding her hand to help her cross the street or something. No, it was a sexual advance. You can clearing tell it was because the excuses he uses.
He uses the excuse that “the 13 year old bit her lip and seduced him”, when explaining to his wife. He also said he was “fulfilling a teenage fantasy.” If it was a normal hand hold between parental figure and child, then he wouldn’t say this.
@@lolaroxy1767 Yeah, i watched it further and heard he had a porn addiction. Changes the story
Every adult that doesn’t call the police in this situation is complicit and failing this child .
That's what I was thinking
Amen!
It's morally wrong but it's hard to call that a legal crime...
@@kyleperry2568 I'm glad someone said it.
Poor girl must be traumatized
He needed words of affirmation from a 13-year-old and a kind touch!?!? Does she hear how this sounds?
My immediate thought was… wait? He’s married and why can’t he go home and get that from her?!
When my hubby needs words of affirmation and a kind touch, he comes and tells me, his wife …. And I do it. Or he might get a hug from his mom if she is in town or we are visiting on a rare occasion….or he will pray about it and deal with his emotions himself.
But 99.9% I am the one he lets know he’s had a rough day because MY JOB as a wife is to become that kindness and love for my husband when he needs it and vice versa….heck you can hug your own children and be appropriately affectionate and get affirmation and appropriate affection from them…
Not a friggen little girl just into young adulthood with all the parts but none of the sense on how to use them or what she should do.
Just like I told my kids…. Good adults dont ask kids to help them for things.
Healthy adults will ask you to get your parents to help if they don’t see an adult.
But if a man, woman or older child is asking a younger child to come “help” them… they are almost certainly up to no good and you should come inside or to me with your siblings right away!
This woman is in denial. She cannot see that if they were willing to hold hands in public and say that as a response… there is something more going on with her, his computer and his “sex addiction”.
Because for him, it’s all about HIS needs.
I interpreted that as he was trying to give her what he didn’t receive when he was younger to blame the child further. Basically saying he did it because it’s something he knows she needed it because he felt the void. I think she misspoke. Which makes it so much worse.
She is a sick as he is.
She doesn't seem to care she's obviously absolutely refusing to use her brain
What a disgusting thing to do for that woman to try to justify his actions by saying a 13 yr old child was the one being provocative
Total Humbert Humbert justification huh??
Defenetly
Happened to me at 15. These women are evil and have no moral compass
I don't like his advice. I feel like he should tell her to report it and tell the parents she is reporting it. It's not okay to tell this woman to navigate this without the authorities investigating this throughly.
100% agree. Felt like he was holding her hand a little instead of giving her the reality check she needs. Her husband has shown preditory behavior and needs to be investigated.
See... this is why I could never be a counselor. All I would say is "Yes, the marriage is over."
Oh me too. I was about to get my masters in counseling and I had that same feeling about the field! I could not handle sitting there listening to this woman make excuses for a predator!
Same
Sometimes it needs to be said. I believe saving a marriage if at all possible but sometimes it is just over like the twin towers.
Because it is
And she needs to call the police. Yesterday
I would say "the marriage is over, sign the divorce papers."
When she said the child was “biting her lip”, I already hated her as much as I hated her husband.
Plus, trust me, if there’s one, there’s been many children. This is a sickness and a normal man would feel sick at the thought of it.
She’s not going to leave him or the church.
I feel it in my gut.
Ever heard of repentance...?
@@nervotica7991 Okay, he can repent but he should never be allowed to be around children. AND I wouldn't be able to trust this man again which means the marriage is over. Maybe not now, but eventually.
@@libbyringo8419 exactly. Repentance is between you and God. No one else owes acknowledgment of that to you.
@@nervotica7991 Repentance doesn't change the fact that a crime was committed and he should go to JAIL! That is the problem with these right wing churches; they let these men get away with everything, all they have to do is "repent". SUCH BULLSHIT!
She finds its others fault
When I was younger like 13 my friend (14) and I made jokes about an adult guy at our camp something like “are you a top or bottom” and he reported us and we had to go have a talk about it with the director. At the time I was mad thinking what’s the big deal. Now I’m glad, he did the right thing.
when I did that, I was 14 and I was seriously asking this older guy. Not even joking lol. He was 26 and we hooked up the next day when no one else was around lol.... one of the best times I ever had.
Your a victim @@BMFstudiosNYC
@@BMFstudiosNYC There is something seriously wrong with you. You sound like a predator pretending to be a victim that “liked it”. I think the authorities should be looking into you
@@BMFstudiosNYCabuse
@@BMFstudiosNYCwtf
Im so glad that she called him. She sounds so very confused and hurt. She even stated that she doesnt think its going to stick. I think that she called because she wanted permission to sit in “judgement” and leave him. Shes knows the whole situation with the husband , the other parents and the church did the wrong thing. She just needed that affirmation to leave her husband
I got that same sense too. Not sure that she wanted to sit "in judgement", but more that, 'is this thing big enough, wrong enough, to go against religious teachings and leave him?' I guess she is wrestling with the 'forgiveness' doctrine, with what he is doing is basically unforgivable. Permission to follow her instinct, absolutely.
He definitely wanted to work in the sound booth because he knew the mans 13 yo daughter would be around. Wanting to help with the workload was just his excuse to get in.
💯 that was absolutely the reason!
Yes
Absolutely willing to bet money on it!!
I thought the same exact thing
I agree. He didnt stumble upon those feelings. Hes a creep who looked for ways to get closer to a child.
Did she really try to accuse a 13 year old of seducing her husband? Is that supposed to make his part any less bad? Honey you're in denial. Leave
She is just as bad as he is
@@Edelwiess1066 She’s in shock and denial. It’s the first stage of grief. She loves/loved him and is trying to grasp how this person can be the same person she fell in love with. She needs to understand that she didn’t really know him at all and his good qualities don’t negate what he just did. She needs space far away from him and his brainwashing to breathe and come to terms with the truth.
@@Edelwiess1066 so if she also did the same things he did, then it would make no difference.. she wouldn’t be worse, right?
I think she said that to paint the full picture as she perceives it. If she were in denial and was just as bad as him, she’d have his back in hiding the issue.
@@MrJessenavawell technically she does have his back in hiding the issue if she didn’t go to the police after that incident.
The Dad failed his daughter more than the church and everyone else
Good point!
1000000% I'm rather disgusted by him
You must be a mind reader! You are very judgemental to assume the worst!
None of us know what her parents did or did not do! Her parents were upset enough to call the church leaders’ meeting ! That says a lot already!
It’s likely also that the parents had a talk with their Daughter about predatory men out there and what is inappropriate!
I’m sure they will be supervising their Daughter more!
@@lenitaa7938 oh, you mean like you're judging the one who made the comments you disagree with right now? Point a finger, honey, and there's always four more pointing right back at you!
@@lenitaa7938he didn't call police
Pediphiles do not change…ever. She’s delusional if she thinks he will change. It’s really sad, some people want to be married so bad they will put up with anything. I feel bad and scared for that baby.
And that child's friends
This whole phone call is telling me another little girl is going to be assulted because of delusional self adults.
Yup
She was only with him for 3 years. I can almost guarantee he was doing this before they met.
Holding hands is not assault.
Exactly. I'm just as mad at the church for sweeping this under the rug. Accomplices they are... 😡
@@miketheyunggod2534 it's definitely grooming
When I was 14, I was in parkour, I might have been 15, but my parkour leader was super handsome, and I had a huge crush on him, and I ended up texting him over Instagram that I had feelings for him, he blocked me and I did not go back to parkour. That is what should be done by someone in authority, no contact. A man that is over the age of 18, a responsible man has a mindset of protecting himself as well as others.
You were probably just unattractive. 😂😂
18-20yos are not men
That’s hysterical
They certainly can’t even drink!
Sounds like he was a great man!
When I was probably 16/17 I worked for the city with two ladies doing small renovations and stuff for city buildings. One summer we were repainting the outside of the civic center and there were two men from the local jail/prison? I guess prison. Two prisoners that worked there at the civic center every day, had their own cubbies in the back and rode a bus there and back. Can’t remember all the details but I think there was like a halfway house/work release situation with the city where they would give them work. ANYWAYS… lol trusted prisoners but STILL ADULT MALE PRISONERS. And had me working out there with them as a teenage girl! The two ladies were there too but not always, and not always in sight. They’d go and pick up stuff and I’d be there chillin with the prisoners, one I had a crush on of course. Smh. He kind of deflected me but kind of not. He was in for drugs, 26. And I remember thinking that was so old! But not too old for me somehow! Your brain’s just not developed at that age. Now I’m almost 33 and can’t even believe they had me out there lol. I left him my number and he called me once, then said it wasn’t right, or safe. I can’t even remember his first name now but I wondered about him for a while.
How did you think that conversation between you & him was going to go?
It’s very refreshing to know that there’s actual good men out there who don’t defend these types of creeps. You have a new follower
If she stays with him, she is aiding a monster. She is an equal counterpart to evil.
She IS evil. That’s what ppl don’t get.
@hillaryhayman1 agreed. She has obviously chosen to believe his disgusting lies and excuses. She's going to turn a blind eye and he knows it.
They should have called the police right away. He needs to take responsibility on this sexual attack. He is a sexual offender
This is why I am no longer in The Church right here. It's a scam...they don't truly believe in protecting children it's all for show. They say gay people can't adopt children, Trans people can't use the bathroom because "protecting children". But a man can "play boyfriend" with a 13 yr old?!!! Disguisting.....what a joke! 😢
Too true. ‘They only held hands’. If I had a daughter, and this man did that to her… I’d be charged with assault, or murder.. and the church couldn’t step in
This was not a sexual attack, they held hands but extremely inappropriate. The girl’s parents should have 100% called the police.
@@icuqt4918This is grooming
@@icuqt4918yes it was an attack. What did he say about his own actions? He clearly is a predator. What do predators do to their prey? Care about them and their safety? lol okay.
Forget the marriage, this man belongs in prison.
Add the church “leaders” in there too. They are the reason these issues appear in the Churches of the world. They need to be removed immediately and held liable for negligence.
@wowalinbie That’s what you decided was unethical about this call?
Interesting.
Holding a hand is jail? Did I misunderstand the call?
@@parryhotter8496 You did. Married men don’t hold hands of 14 year olds talking about “fulfilling teenage fantasies” without a clear ulterior motive.
Normal everyday men with no ill will would never exhibit this behavior or that insane rationalization of it. This guy is bad news all around.
@@parryhotter8496 This adult has a romantic relationship with a child who cannot consent to it.
This is EXACTLY the kind of “church” cult I was raised in! I know first hand MANY families that covered this kind of thing up because they take it into their own hands and would rather cover this up to protect a “good man who made a bad choice” then to protect a child who was abused. This is so so triggering to me. This woman is also part of the problem as she did nothing and early in the call tried to blame the child for it. Shame on every adult here! Shame on the church. And I wish I could help this child call the cops for herself. She will age to disrespect her parents and probably find fault with God due to human error. Disgusting and terribly sad. Hang in there poor girl. You’ll have lots to heal from later on, but know you aren’t alone.❤
Bye bye husband, how is this even discussion???
She may be totally financially dependent on him and not have family to help her out. Maybe she is a stay at home mom with limited work experience with a one year old child….maybe she is afraid if she leaves, he ll get partial custody or visitation and her baby will be alone with him….lots of angels here….
This makes me so angry. I was molested by my grandfather from the age of 5 to 11. I never told anyone. My mother came to live with me when she was 82..I had some unanswered questions for here. She admitted that she knew all along is was happening but said it was my father's duty to go to his dad and do something about it..no one did anything..I lived with this my whole life and to find out my parents didn't protect me has put anger in me that won't stop... And I'm 67 years old.. My mother is 90 now and lived with my sister. I won't go visit her. I love her and hate her at the same time.. Mother and father's please protect your children.. You have no idea what it does to a person for life..
I am so sorry you experienced this level of trauma.
That situation is just awful to think about. I can't imagine the resentment and the disgust
You have every right to feel the way you do. You were betrayed and you were not protected by the one person who should’ve protected you. I grew up in an abusive family and the aftermath is a struggle everyday. You are a strong person and I hope your life is good now! ❤️
The mother always knows going what's going on with her kids. Too many times they look the other way. I'm sorry that happened to you and your parents didn't protect you.
I’m so sorry and I hope you are doing ok, I really recommend a therapist to work thru some of this…and making peace before she passes as well. God bless you
She should do a good check on his computer. I have a feeling there might be some illegal stuff on there
You talking from experience
@@mooseknuckle4007 tbh I would think that's just some common sense
MooseKnuckle - one only needs the experience of watching true crime shows for any period of time..
Yes, and then she would see more of what he is and be able to leave him. Shes just got to do her homework
And his phone.
Also crazy that she has a child and she’s not at all concerned about that?! Like, predators statistically have an age preference so what’s going to happen when their child turns that age and the abuse turns on him?? Like how could you NOT be thinking about that??
Immediately call the cops , press charges. Hold that predator accountable
Churches can get so caught up in "grace" that they protect the perpetrator at the expense of the victim. The Bible says love mercy AND justice.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Exactly. Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth.
Yes
You hit the nail on the head.
They protected my abuser my father, and shunned me!
I'm a Christian and if someone touched my child, I will be calling the police. This isn't right for that child!
Exactly this. Being in the church doesn't make you immune from prosecution. The church should be more diligent in rooting this crap out, not less.
Pentacostal/Evangelical type ‘churches’ are filled with predators.
And isn’t right for all of the children that come after that first child.
She really made an excuse and said she was biting her lips …..a 13 year old. That’s a childdd
Duggars son also went to the ranch
If he was caught holding an adult woman’s hand and gave the excuse that she was coming on to him would she forgive or would she say, WTH?!? This is 100x worse.
This happened in my church when I was 13. They should be mandated reporters and go to jail for not reporting this kind of ish!
Churches harbor groomer pedophiles all of the time.
This woman is exactly why these predators get away with it...
And churches
How about the parents who didn't call the police? That's pretty useless.
100
@@Ruthbaby175all of the above
She may have grown up to expect/accept this type of behavior.
THIS is why my entire extended family plus my clergy parents and clergy brother have disowned me. Because when my nephew couldn't keep his hands off my daughter during the summer of 2014, I CALLED THE COPS!!!!!! wrong is wrong, I do not care who you are. I was molested myself at age 6 by someone in the church and NOTHING was done. I refused to let my daughter grow up thinking she was not worthy of justice. And because my entire family would rather cover it up to save their reputation and incomes, I will never set foot in another Independent Fundament Baptist Church as long as I live. I have not lost my faith in God. I just have no use for man-made religion.
Good on you mom for protecting your daughter ❤
Kudos to you mom!!! What a lucky child to have A mom like you!🎉🎉🎉🎉
you are an example of what all parents should do!! good for you!
Same. Just Jesus, my bible and myself. No middleman needed to build MY personal relationship with Jesus.
🙏🏽🎚️
"She was biting her lip"..... is this a joke? This woman is literally trying to blame not only the victim here but the THIRTEEN YEAR OLD CHILD in this situation? What in the world is going on. Im so curious on what this conversation was in which after, on a live show, she felt compelled to try and blame this child for her husband being a predator. Wild. This is how this sh*t continues to go on. So so disturbing. Then went to therapy as some sort of justification for what he did, but oh no, just kidding thats for him being a sex addict. Unreal. Wake up lady. You have to wake up. Im not down with redemption for child predators. I'm sorry and maybe I'm wrong for that. I just don't see how those thoughts leave a person.
It goes back to the whole evangelical churches blaming young girls for their sin. I remember being told to cover my body so that my “brother” would not be tempted. I still have issues as a 48 year old woman trying to make sure I dress modestly. I don’t even like wearing shorts due to how I was treated.
This is so common with churches covering up to save public embarrassment.
He will re-offend trust me and that 13 yr old wasn’t his first. She needs to protect her child from a pedophile and this needed to be reported. We as adults have to protect the young girl down it’s our duty as an adult. My god I’m pissed 😡
If they have a daughter she is in big danger
The parents of the 13 year old child should have gone to the police, not the church.
@@firstname7470 it always baffles me that people still send their kids there as if they aren't always protecting such men and blaming children for a grown man's actions
@@firstname7470 The parents should have called from the church and said the curch was aware and did nothing.
He was grooming. That wasn't "just holding hands." He's been thinking about this for a long time and just now got brave and found the opportunity. I'd also be leaving that church, who was another one who clearly side swept abuse.
Take it to the church leadership. Make noise. If no one takes up for this child and rebukes the sinning man, then make sure everyone in that church knows why leaving. This is disgusting. And any church should be absolutely shamed publically if they don't defend the innocent.
He was probably grooming the girl for a while now. It sounds like his reason for “learning” from her father was to actually groom her.
Sadly, you are 100% correct.
If my church didn’t report it I would of left also
@@Guitar157 Hello, The worst is that you do not know if your church has not swept something under the rug yet. It is not an attack on your church. I am sure there are plenty of good people but there are bad apples for sure. Take care.
Don’t touch minors. As i minor who was touched constantly please don’t do it. Now im an adult and sometimes i work with minors (taking care, dancing clases) if they hug you because they are excited to see you, let them, they are pure. But make them clear: never Ever let an adult invade your personal space, if you feel something is off, trust your gut feelings, communicate this kind of incidents right away with someone who can help you. Please, if you are tented, seek professional help inmediatly.
Respect children.
Aint going to change my mind on this. They are sacred. Period
I never felt anything was off, because I liked it. When I was 13, my instructor did that... just on the shoulder and massages, etc.... I knew exactly what he was doing. He was 31 and I started coming onto him and we hooked up... it was one of the best times of my life. It's become a stereotype that all minors can't consent, but it's just not true for everyone. I guess I'm the one who took advantage of him lol
3:47 the way John shook his head says everything he thinks about this woman. He navigated this ridiculous call very well. Defending a predator is insanity
Oh bless her heart! She’s so naive! He’s been cheating for years, he’s been a sex add it for years, he’s been a child predator for years & he found the perfect victim in his wife because she will continue to accept his lies & bullshite! RUN NOW HUNNIE!!
Most accurate comment is right here! 1 million %, yes!!
She's not naive she just doesn't care. that much is clear from how she responded to the situation
@@orionfell she probably does she just belongs to a religion that tells women they need to stick by their husband no matter what. And that the fault is entirely on the child, not the husband.
She won’t do a damn thing until he attacks their own kid. Even then she’ll defend the husband.
❤
So, she is married to a sex addict, she casually mentions it, yet, she starts out by blaming the 13 years-old for "making a move on him"????? This is insane and shameless. She is as guilty as he is. If nobody else at church, she should have call police on him. I cannot believe this. John was too nice to her.
I could tell Dr. John was fuming mad at her hesitancy and conviently dismissing her husband's inappropriate behavior and attempting to blame the young girl eventhough he is a porn addict and she has know about his behavior for sometime. I imagine she has walked in on him while he is watching pornographic material on his computer. This lady knows alot more than what she disclosed to Dr. John. A heap more.
Church brainwashing people thinking they can help these type of problems
@@PrometheuspredatorAnyone who understand psychology would not be fuming mad at her. While her excuses are gross, they are NORMAL in her situation. It take compassion and empathy to help Amanda understand and accept what a messed up person she is married to. All the hate here shows how ignorant the public is concerning cognitive dissonance.
She said what he said!
Heartbreaking. I saw red when she tried to breeze over it. She's awful
That 13 year old was completely let down by her church and community.
Not only did her husband cheat on her but he did it with a child. On top of being a father himself. Disgusting. And he needs to be in prison.
She ain’t gonna leave. He picked the perfect victim in his wife as well. Poor thing is just naive and believes anything out of his mouth.
Exactly!
Right, she is giving him power! By the way, she isn’t naive. The thing is...she’s deluding herself. She doesn’t want to accept the reality.
He's lucky he isn't mine. He'd be sitting in jail! I'd be selling his stuff in the front yard.
There’s definitely truth in this and it is so darn sad! many people men and women allow themselves to be manipulated.
Completely naive and clueless.
You can't go to jail for holding hands with a child. HOWEVER, he is grooming her. He needs to be kept away from minors. Period, the end.
Yes! That’s not normal behavior
Yes, he needs to be arrested, charged and put on a sex offenders register.
The girl also needs to checked (sympathetically) by social services. If she was behaving inappropriately for her age she may have already been sexualised by another abuser. I’m not saying she did anything wrong (he is wholly at fault), just that her behaviour may be an alarm someone else has done something terrible to her.
Yup they wont do anything, my uncle asked me to kiss him in the mouth when i was 12 and i refused. We told the cops and nothing happened
@@sookibeulah9331charged with what. Holding hands.?
@@lisarivera4730😢
As someone who had addiction issues in my past as a teen and went to rehab, 28days is NOT enough.
Also my perspective and interactions with any of the sex addicts, most cheated, did anything for sex, and they normally don’t have the urge to turn down anything connected to sex. They don’t mind risking anything for sex or really have any pause for what damage would come if they did go through with whatever it may be. Now that’s just my experience with the people I came into contact with in rehab and what they told me about it.
Oh this man is dangerous. The whole “void from his former teenage years” explanation shows this guy knows just what to say to manipulate gullible people. So many people failing this little girl. LITTLE GIRL. God help her.
she doesn’t even seem that mad or disgusted. so bizarre.
It may be the postpartum depression she mentioned. It can make you completely emotionless.
She's an enabler for her husband behavior 🤦♀️ he could do the same to their young child unacceptable 😤
See, ever since hearing the call of the woman leaving her baby in a hot car that passed away.... tone doesn't mean anything anymore. This woman called for a reason... she seems upset... She's gunna leave him.
Movies have ruined real life. As a person who went through incredible trauma..you get to a point when you are so numb that you can't cry anymore. And often you start laughing. You go into madness
You are not a psychologist. You have no idea the emotions she is feeling about her husband and father of her child.
I was molested as a child 12 and I told family and they just ignored it and they continued to invite him to parties 😞 it killed me till now I’m age 30 he still gets invited . Please don’t ignore this child don’t mess her up 😭
So sorry for you. I know how you feel 😞
I’m so angry for you!! You deserved to be protected and defended!
Please make a police report. I don't believe there are any limitations to this type of crime. Get him on their radar because it is way more likely he is still offending.
;(
Its never too late....say something
1. Call police immediately
2. Divorce
Her husband is a groomer and predator. The church does not take legal action because they don’t want to look bad.
How did that "a kind touch" comment not make the wife's skin crawl??!
She wanted to protect her image of him and their relationship
🤢🤮
Right???? Why isn't the "words of affirmation and a kind touch" COMING FROM HIS WIFE????!!!!
He trained her well
😮😮
I’ve been in this ladies situation too... luckily not in a marriage. But my ex bf was accused of assaulting a 13 year old when we were in our early 20s... it was awful, he said the same things how it was the girl that was coming on to him. Absolutely revolting. When I left him he broke into my house and tried assaulting me. Horrible and sick man. I’m not sure why anyone would stay with someone who starts to blame children for in appropriate contact, esspecially as I was sexually abused as a minor, young girls are NOT “making moves” on grown fuckin men. It’s ridiculous.
And even if the minor is “making moves” the adult is supposed to have the morals and judgement to say:” this is inappropriate, I will not engage. Don’t do that again.” No excuses
@bettyjojoeharperre-imagina7322 came to say the exact same thing. Kids that age are full of hormones and are learning what's appropriate and what's not. My first thought was "what has happened to that baby girl that no one knows about?"
Men like your ex and this woman's husband feel entitled to get what they want from women.
What? Yes, they are! How ridiculous to say a 13 yo girl doesn’t make moves on older men. Of course they do.
It’s a bad man that entertains to any degree any advance made by a minor. But they make advances.
Jesus is coming back. Believe He died for your sins and rose again then repent to be saved.
Girl… please run. Take your daughter and leave. He cannot be trusted.
Why is this even a question she has to ask? She needs to get therapy to figure out why she didn’t leave already.
I'm scared to write this, because I don't want to hurt family who might inadvertently see a mostly anonymous comment, but thank you for this. I feel like you're advocating for 14 year old me when I needed it. Thank you. Please, keep on. Everyone who abused me has now passed away, but I still appreciate every syllable of this message.
The abused child in all of us is being healed from his words and truth 🩵 bless you
😢😢😢
God bless you 💛💛
You are heard, Matthew, and you are believed.
You are loved 🙏🏾
Oh my god, when she mentioned "biting her lip" My stomach DROPPED. That is a sick and horrifying thing to say about A CHILD! This woman is just as bad as her husband! She is NOT angry enough at this situation and the fact that she regurgitated his sick excuse so cavalierly is absolutely infuriating.
"He had a void from teenage trauma" I'm sorry, WHAT?! If my husband said something like that to me I'd be running to my nearest divorce lawyers' office. But something tells me this woman is so naive she won't leave this man.
If I were this girl's parents I'd have called the police myself. No way this is his first, or last time doing something like this. And ditto to the comment saying to check this man's computer. Jeez, this is a really disturbing call.
13 year olds have sex, some of them have sex and nowadays very young children sexualize themselves. I don't see how one biting their lip means anything but it is possible that young people can try to come on to older people. I went to church and there were two young men probably around 7 or 8 and they were smiling and looking at me so I waved and smiled back, I was about 20/21 at the time. They then asked me for my number 😒
@@ASmith-jn7kf Wow. Do you really not see the issue with your comment? "Young men" "7 or 8" ???!! THEY ARE KIDS.
@@ASmith-jn7kf Very young children do not "sexualize themselves". They either imitate or are taught by adults. If young teenagers are sexually active, let it be with their peers, not grown ass adults, especially not married ones in this case. Also, 7 or 8 year old boys are not young men, they're children. I hope that you're just too young or naive to realize how problematic your comment is. There is absolutely NO responsibility a child holds in dealing with adults. Adults have all the responsibility to ensure children are protected and when they are harmed, adults are accountable.
@@ASmith-jn7kf Are you trying to justify an adult touching a minor on the basis of “13 year olds have sex”? Yes 13 year olds have hormones and may be curious about sex, but an adult knows not to engage with a child. Regardless of whether they sexualize themselves or not. They’re kids and they’re being what kids naturally are- curious. That doesn’t give an adult the right to take advantage. I’m pretty sure you didn’t take advantage of these 7/8 year olds, correct? That’s the difference here. Children don’t understand what they’re doing and can’t control their hormones. Adults know what’s right and wrong and have control over themselves. You always seem to leave such strange comments I’ve noticed smh 🤦🏻♀️
Yeah, the “biting her lip” comment made me do a double take. Like wtf. She did NOT just throw that out there like it made sense. Sigh.
This call highlights the darkest side of being a traditional woman/wife: Financial dependence on an untrustworthy man.
If she had to stay at home to watch their son and couldn’t even attend “the meeting” in person, what’s she going to do once their marriage is over? Hell, her son doesn’t even sound like he’ll be safe spending opposite weekends with his father.
She just became a single mother over night. 😳
I love how he shut down the “not a justification” total justification instantly “she is a child I don’t care if she threw herself at him he is a child”
I am a leader in our church and I can tell you that if anything ike this happened in our church we would immediately contact the police. I get so angry at churches that try to cover up this type of thing. It gives a bad name to all churches. This disgusts me.
New viewer here and I just wanted to say I LOVED how John immediately redirected her wording when she tried to insinuate the minor was teasing him or flirting with him . That is a child your husband is a grown ass man ! Point blank period . That frame of thinking puts us in this victim blaming mentality
Thanks John for standing up for kids. There is no excuse for predators.
Church no surprise there😢
He made himself out to be the victim with some childhood trauma to validate it. Wow. That’s some serious BS.
Reminds me of that twisted AF Duggar family because if yall remember, Josh was sent to some religious therapy rehab garbage while his victims (some of them his own damn sisters) were treated as an afterthought. Like it was up to them to forgive and help this sex offender on sime magical, mythical "road to recovery".
You can never trust him again. Liquidate any assets you have and leave.
🎯
Bingo
Yes!!!!
I don't think she's morally allowed to do what you have suggested. Adultery is grounds for divorce, but I wouldn't say this qualifies.
Right. Exactly this. My main deal would be concern for their child now.
This man has done more than known here. People don’t just all of a sudden do this, it comes from something deep inside. A deep problem and he needs help for his problem around sexualising children.
exactly, he just got caught this time
That’s what I was thinking! “Holding hands” isn’t immediately inappropriate. More happened for that child to feel so uneasy and uncomfortable that they feel the need to report it and tell her own parents.
Exactly. Never had affairs. Riiiiight
It’s hard for them to get help because, even if they want it, psychologists have to report you to authorities if you go to them, even if you haven’t done anything.. so they don’t go
@@Cafeallday222 I can understand that it would scare them off. I’m not sure that’s true everywhere if they haven’t even acted on anything. That kinda doesn’t make sense. But if they were serious about preventing they’d have to be willing to take that risk.
I get the sense these are small town folk. It seems like she’s wrapped up in this protective bubble mindset. Her gut knows she’s in an awful situation but won’t rock the boat. She’s a brainwashed enabler. But it took guts to make the call.
There is a 99% probability that man has or will be inappropriate again. Leave him.
How I'd love to introduce this woman to my aunt. She spent 45 years in a marriage to a man just like this. These men look for passive women who depend on them and that's how this abuse continues.
Or they look for strong women who have busy careers and are not looking for the signs. The signs here are obvious. But there are many strong, independent women who get taken advantage of because this monstrous stuff never crosses their mind and the men get away with it by abusing the trust bestowed upon them.
@@keegangold9765 The difference is a woman with a career seldom stays once this comes to light. They might get taken advantage of but they are not financially dependent on the husband and can more easily leave without having to worry about surviving. For a woman whose ambition is to be a housewife, finding out something that may result in divorce is not only causing the grief of losing a partner but can be devastating to her financial situation as well as her identity.
@@missylarsson3517 good points. The OP said “continued abuse,” so I would definitely agree with you. Sadly, I know many women who made it to their 50s or 60s before they discovered this stuff and realized their entire lives were a lie. So sad.
@@keegangold9765 pretty sad to lose your life to a man that broke you down and destroyed you, I’ve lost so many years to a failed relationship I’m not the person I was and I’m hoping it’s not too late to get back to myself; 7mths left on my degree course can’t wait, it’s means so much to me to have a second chance in life
@@jc_80 No you learned not lost
He didn’t “screw up”; he didn’t “make a mistake”; he didn’t “slip up”; he CHOSE to do what he did….period.
I’m an addict but if i relapse I might overdose or go to jail if he relapses some child’s life might change forever including his own
This poor 13 year old. She was accused of being flirtatious.
And now if this woman leaves her husband, there is no police record he did this. He can get joint custody of their child. If this man imagines children have romantic interests in him, his child is not safe with him. I would bet money his porn addiction has strayed into viewing minors. If I was her, I would go back to the family of this girl and ask them to call the cops. It will be the hardest thing for her because now her busband is the creepy pervert but there is no marriage here. I would bet there are a host of sexual issues in the poor woman's marriage and she knows deep down her husband is not going to change.
LEAVE THAT CHURCH They are complicit in this happening!!’
Absolutely.
Make noise and go publically with it if they don't address it. Those churches need rebuking 100%
Yes. Expose that church..but what kind of family does that poor 13 yr old live in every day that they did not call the police?
Yep. Disgusting
she doesnt want to leave the husband, why would she leave the church?
First time he got caught, not the first time it happened. You don't KNOW he hasn't had affairs. Churches are the WORST when it comes to this. His behaviour as an "adult Christian" was just way wrong. You need to leave him. It won't stop.
Churches are the prime hunting grounds for predators because kids are taught to be silent and never speak up or be called a ‘sinner’.
When I was 15 I was in an inappropriate relationship with a 24 year old man at my church. Nothing sexual ever happened thank God but still it was awful. The priests at my church were informed and they did nothing. He would still regularly attend my church and no one did anything about it. I had to suffer through seeing him every Sunday while trying to heal from it. I appreciate people like John for not blaming the child and pointing out the errors of all the adults in these types of situations.
It’s scary that this guy not only manipulated a child but also her father, his church and his wife. He can’t be trusted and his past should be looked at.
As a Christian I realize that churches handling this is our version of sharia law. Bad news.
When my niece was sexually assaulted on the Salvation army sunday school bus by a predator the church stood by him. The man had been in and out of prison for sexually assaulting children for 30 years when he assaulted my niece and other children on the bus. He told the children God would get them if they told. The church stood by him in court. The church said he had a right to forgiveness. The church didnot say sorry to the victims and their families. My parents also protected my brother who sexually assaulted me and some of my siblings. They said he was away due to a head injury when he was sent somewhere else for a little while. Our parents then went into denial.
I’m so sorry. I hope you can heal. ❤
you deserved better ❤️
I’m so sorry. It makes my blood boil when churches throw away their God given mandate and join in the abuser’s evil like that. I pray you have found or can find healing.
Now IT should be REPORTED. Awareness of child endangerment is an obligation to report to authorities…
Wow every single adult in this situation including the girls father have dropped the ball here. Absolutely disgusting!! Protect the predator though. Way to go!🎉🎉🎉
There's more to this story, for both the perpetrator and the victim.
IF a child shows attraction to an adult, she's either socially inept or has previously experienced something inappropriate. She needs help and protection. But maybe she didn't, and the perpetrator is just delusional.
The perpetrator did this in front of the girl's father?! This is not an isolated incident. He's either done something before, or he's been working up to it in his fantasies.
She has to leave. Her life will be wasted with this guy...hes a creep.
She won’t leave until she wakes up to her delusion.
The fact that she even thinks there is another option after seeing him touch a child is disturbing. Not sure she’s much better either
She needs therapy
When I was 15 my best friends older sister (16) was groped and touched sexually at a house party by his oldest sisters husband who was 35 at the time. I lived with them since we were close family friends while my dad had a new house built for us. So I got to see the entire process play out. She did not leave him, charges were pressed by her parents (his in laws) he did 1 year in jail and to this day is still a registered sex offender (this happened in like 2004. Their marriage fell apart over this and divorced like 3 years after the incident. He could not pick up his own kids from school because of his status, lost his job and almost all his family. Ppl need to be held accountable
Exactly, and the church just let him get away with it all, he has no reason to change because he only had to say “I’m sorry”
THANK YOU JOHN! You stopped her right on the track. It’s never ever the child “hitting” at an adult!
Words of affirmation??? And a kind touch???? From a 13 year old????
God, i hate them both..
This is every day in the Christian church. This is exactly how all of the predator pedos in the church act.
Oh come on, this isnt the first time. Him and this girl didnt just all of a sudden out of the blue, feel comfortable holding hands at church in front of her dad of all people. These kinds of things tend to move slowly. I wouldnt doubt he's been grooming her for a while now and this was just the time he got caught. Im willing to bet the thrill of possibly getting caught was a huge part of this particular situation for him. He has probably, at the very least, had a flirtation with her for a while now and he eventually got bold enough to do it where others could catch him.
yup
100%
Predators are terrified of getting caught. You are absolutely right, to be so brazen means he's too used to it.
Bingo.
Quite possibly.
This is a perfect situation of “Where there’s smoke... there’s fire.”
True. She doesn't think there were affairs but she doesn't really know
@@georgewagner7787 I don't think she is interested or wants to know. I don't think she is going anywhere. She knew what was up before she talked to Dr. John, but she needed it to be confirmed. I am thinking she is going to stick by him because of their church or/and she has always dreamed of marriage and being a loving wife, having children, and living out her princess fairytale dream. Living like June and Ward Cleaver. She probably has her head in the clouds as in like the tv show, "Leave it to Beaver." It doesn't seem she had any goal, but wanted confirmation. Basically, To vent.
Yes. Immediately it is over. You also hand over all your computers and phones to the police and aid in anyway you can. Children are the future, and we have no future if you sit back and allow people to destroy them. They need protection NOW.
Again sex offenders should not be around children! They need to be supervised because they could do it again !