How Can I Regain My Husband's Trust After My Affair?
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- Опубліковано 5 лют 2025
- How Can I Regain My Husband's Trust After My Affair?
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“Regain his trust after cheating.” You don’t. You simply won’t. Your husband will never be able to look at you the same.
He might like the fact she's likes other 👨
She did not have a physical affair, but maybe an emotional one. Part of the problem, as I see it, is her constant behavior that breeds mistrust. For some of us who have been hurt by cheating/abusive tactics in the past, once the trust is broken, you cannot fix the situation.
She had a physical affair she just won't tell anyone she knows if she speaks it her husband will be done with her
@@nightfangs2910 ..I am sure if her husband wants to dig deep enough, he can get to the truth. The question is, does he want to go through that process ? If it were me, I would want to know the truth, regardless of what it is. Time is too precious to be wasted on someone who has little to no regard for you.
@@jengable4888 he needs to cut loose of her she's upset because she got caught not because of what she did, no need to search for the truth it's already staring you in the face
"I wasn't deleting the messages fast enough, they popped up on my watch" ... so basically she is sorry she got caught.
Maybe, though even if she realized she made a mistake and was trying to stop things from going further with the affair and even if the texts got deleted without her getting caught, it doesn't necessarily mean the problems between her and her husband would have disappeared with them. Without them working on things, it would just be a matter of time before the problems popped up in the form of another affair or some other egregious behavior.
@@yootoob1001001 why do people always assume that cheating is because of problems in the relationship? havent heard this video all it shows is that she is just a POS
🎯
Not necessarily. She was just saying how she got caught
@samuellolango9720 because a lot of the time, there is. Sometimes, people are just scumbags, but a lot of the time, they search for something that's missing from their relationship, or they search for something they've lost in themselves. Im not condoning it whatsoever, but I try to understand their pov so I can avoid these issues and be a better partner.
While recounting the story she says “blah, blah, blah”; that speaks volumes as to her lack of responsibility.
Right !!
She Yada-yadaed the marriage. . . !
Yeah she sounds very whiny.
Plus the whatevers.
Yada yada seinfield lol
hopefully this "husband or whatever" files for divorce or whatever
Because she's been dishonest, or whatever, throughout their marriage, or whatever...
I'm glad I wasn't the only one cringing every time she said whatever 😒
Hahahaahahah
Hahaorwhateverhahahah
Hopefully her brakes fail coming down Mount Everest cause if he divorces she will take him to the cleaners
Typical for cheaters to hurt someone then get upset that the other doesn’t trust them anymore. 🤦🏽♂️
It's mostly women that cheat, now days.
This is the type of insanity you speak of where you just want to rent a helicopter service to take you cheating spouse way out over the wilderness in the helicopter and then drop them off and fly away.
Wow! She is taking zero responsibility at all. She has no empathy for her husband's feelings. She literally thinks he should just move on because she says she's being honest.
Seriously. She’s acting as if he owes her his trust. As if she’s entitled to his trust just because for once she’s being honest.
Allegedly. The waffling language leads me to believe they banged repeatedly.
She is laughing about having a relationship with her boss.
And who knows, she probably even had sex and lying about it to protect her image.
Default woman. She can’t see past her own nose. She wants to buy something, credit cards, she meets the first man who makes more money that will flirt with her, cheats. The reason she is with her husband is bc he is paying off her debt.
Towards the end she wants what her boss did to her from her husband.
One thing I've learned about cheaters is that they don't learn to stop. They learn to get better at lying and hiding it.
Hallelujah
once a cheater, always a cheater
Cheaters have no business feeling like they’re owed trust in an intimate relationship ever again. You destroyed your spouse’s world. YOUR SPOUSE’S. It’s as obvious as, for example, never trusting a child abuser to be a babysitter.
That’s not true. My wife caught me cheating about 20 years into our marriage. She told me if it happened again, it was over. I chose to believe her. This August will be our 41st anniversary. I was in a sexless marriage and got stupid but knew I truly loved my wife.
@@darrellhoward3132LOL! I don’t think so she has forgotten. Have you checked her phone or followed her?
As nice as John is to his callers, he also isn't afraid to call out BS. This woman has a history of lying to her husband and I don't get the sense that she feels very remorseful.
ikr?? that kind of energy is the sexiest to me🥺
@@aladdout9454 At least you're self-aware 💪
You nailed it!
She is just terrified of becoming a single Mom. She knew what she was doing was wrong or she would not have been deleting the text. I wonder just how far it actually went. I think a physical.affair was just days away. Her boss was grooming her for a physical affair. She has two little kids, where did she have time for that BS.
@@ronhall5395
When you say boss was grooming her it takes responsibility away from her and portrays her as the victim.
When she used words like “blah, blah, blah” and “like whatever” you know she’s completely devoid of shame, regret, and repentance.
Here’s a tip, usually when your spouse asks you a serious questions they often know the answer and are relying on you to tell the truth.
Biggest lie I've ever Heard 😊
Couldn’t be more correct!! 💯🫡🤜🏽🤛🏽And it’s why personally I move on. The moment you forgive and forget is the moment you’ve elevated the cheater to a new, unlocked version of being more sneaky. It’s so sickening😒
@@Jayisinvisiblesadly im finding this out. I want to honor my vow to my wife and to God but two affairs in and this one was significantly harder to discover. Both times she swore she was “waiting for the right time to tell me”. people will never change until they truly want to change and most people are fine just stumbling through life as they are. Really leaves us who want to better ourselves and want to give ourselves fully to somebody at a disadvantage of being more likely to be paired up with a cheater.
A lot of people call in with this "I kind of did something wrong or whatever" story asking for advice, but it can really just come off sounding like a child who got in trouble and doesn't want to take responsibility for their actions. There's definitely a lot more to this so I hope she can get to the root of the problem to help her make better choices.
I like how John presses them to give specifics.
"What was the cause of the divorce?"
"Infidelity."
"On whose part?"
"*shocked Pikachu face*"
I would agree-
Typically narcissistic people have the emotional maturity of an 8-12 yo. So yeah, emotionally you’re dealing with a child.
@Candice - Agree. There is definitely a problem to get to the root of if she's having affairs and overspending to the point it causes financial issues for them. I might have said maybe she's just unhappy and doesn't know what she wants and how to get her needs met, but I think there's more to it after I heard her attitude and manner. They'd probably benefit from individual couseling as well as joint.
It's got to be difficult to talk about this already. Then add the awkwardness of doing it on a recorded show. People don't think about that.
Oh…my…God…It’s like pulling teeth getting her to talk.
Dr. D HAS THE PATIENCE OF A SAINT
Imagine how her husband must feel.
This is what makes me feel great being single, not putting up with BS and liars.
I would date you
@@thetruth5635 lol
There are good men out there they may have normal jobs 40000 or so work hard no six packs name is not chad or Tyrone not 6 ft 3 but if a dude doesn’t meet all that criteria he only has about 2% of the female population that will breed with him
@@thetruth5635 thirsty 🚿
Yep!!
This lady is a lost cause. She is deceitful and can’t take accountability for her mistakes and has no empathy for her husband and why he has trust issues now. It’s going to takes years to mend this marriage, and she acts like she doesn’t have the time. He needs to leave. He deserves better.
I also think her husband needs to call up that guy and get the entire story if he can. His wife can’t tell the truth, and it’s going to drive him crazy wondering if they were physical with each other at all. He needs to try and get the truth because she’s not going to tell it.
I don’t think she is being truthful with Dr. D.
David Villafranca I don’t think so either. You mean to tell me they texted all day long and had intimate conversations with each other while working under the same roof and nothing happened? I highly doubt it. She probably doesn’t want to leave because her husband is paying off all the credit card debt she hid from him. Poor guy.
There's no such thing as a lost cause. They CAN heal this marriage. She just needs to be vulnerable and get some counseling like Dr. D said. She just needs to decide what's more important... I wish her luck, because that's a long road to hoe.
Nathan Andrew Agreed. The problem is that she doesn’t take true accountability for her actions and think her husband should just get over all this just because he found out the truth, and she confessed. It doesn’t work that way….. she’s a long way off from being able to be a person her husband can trust, but it seems like she doesn’t even know it.
Simple two word answer: "You can't."
This is the problem with modern people. We are told we can have it all. We can't. You have to choose what is important to you, and sacrifice for that. We can't have our cakes and eat them too.
Right on! I agree you better not do it because if you do you could take a chance on losing a good person for the sake of pleasure to the wrong person. You will mess up and lose the one you will never get back because of sex. Sex is out of control and if you do not control it will control you. Good feeling for the moment want last. Thank about what you can lose a good marriage with the one you love over a moment of pleasure with another man or woman. Some will not put up with a cheater they will leave you on the spot. Some will stay but regret it and be miserable. .
I totally agree with you
While I agree, it is also interesting that neither she, her friends/family, nor John actually suggest practical things she could to do to try to regain trust. Clearly she either didn't think she'd be caught or the fear of divorce weren't enough to stop her from cheating -- and an "emotional affair" is just a nice way of saying "attempted cheating". So, why doesn't she voluntarily take steps to ensure she is less likely to cheat by making it hard to get away with in the future and/or suffer more severe consequences if she is caught again? Probably hopeless if she keeps lying, but...
1. Agree to a written (and notarized) confession, including every lie you told to be with AP, every time you were alone, everyone who knew, etc.
2. You offer a polygraph test. Now and anytime he wishes. You pay for them. You offer all phone, credit card, bank statements, medical records, etc.
3. The house, savings, and investments go into his parent's name. Day-to-day finances are separated, all your pay goes to the house/living, while his is saved into accounts owned by his parents. Thus, if you ever cheat again, you get nothing.
4. You give up your cell phone -- forever. If someone needs to call you, they can speak for you husband. If that is "too much", then he buys you a phone setup in 'kid's mode' -- no apps, he sees all your messages, etc. GPS is on. If you must use a computer, he provides it, family account, and he gets to see all your email. You give up all social media. If you really need an account for friends/family, he creates a joint account.
6. You tell everyone about your affair. Your friends and family, his family, your boss (and get ready to find another job). Harder to cheat when folks are watching and easier for him to divorce if he wishes.
7. No more girl's nights, drinking, male friends, single or divorced female friends, you can't go anywhere there are men and alcohol without your husband, etc.
8. If AP is at work, you quit, and get another job.
etc.
I'm not saying her husband should even bother, but it's interesting that she offered none of these, nor did John. Why not? Why would the husband expect her to be faithful in the future when nothing has changed? He's supposed to trust her despite being in the exact same situation, with the exception that she'd now be more convinced that he won't divorce her for cheating, because he already "forgave" her. I think we know why she isn't offering any of this... she doesn't trust herself, certainly now enough to risk not getting half in the case of a divorce.
@@BW022 I was planning to say pretty much the same. No practical advice given.
I'd offer some changes to your list, but overall I agree.
2. I'd probably not tell her to _offer_ forever testing, but to agree to it if asked in the future. Offering it may just encourage paranoia in the H, and prevent him healing, if that's possible for him.
3. is a little too much IMO. It would be bad advice to incentivize her H to dip out in 6 months and leave her with nothing. She must give complete financial transparency though. If taking your advice, I'd recommend a trust over his parents' name, to prevent risk of theft by family, or worse, they die and other heirs try to stake a claim. It would have to be very carefully crafted, so H isn't incentivized to financially destroy her, but also so she stands to lose big _if_ she cheats again.
6. I'd amend to be in H's court. "This doesn't have to be a secret, I support you, and I will go with you to tell whoever you want the truth, including all of my family and yours."
@@Kivlor
2. Sorry, she needs to offer it. She needs to show she is willing to proactively come clean and not rely on him asking. She needs to proactively remove doubt?
3. Sure, it's extreme and it's possible husband walks or his parents (or whoever) could walk away with the house. However, without this he's still going to think she's only in it for the money and/or she has no additional reason to be faithful and he'll be worse off in a year if finds her cheating again. If losing her husband wasn't enough to stop her from cheating the first time, so maybe also losing the house, savings, retirements, etc. will help her make the right choice. At the least, it shows her husband that he won't be a financial sucker for putting more into the marriage only to find out she cheats again.
6. Sure, husband could decline any of these, but it needs to be offered. The key question is... would X action make it more or less likely she'll cheat again. Well, if her family, friends, etc. knows that she cheated, if she feels the scorn, if they are watching her, if they are no longer on her side if she pulls this again, if they understand why the marriage is in trouble and know to support husband, etc. she is less likely to check.
The issue is still that she actually isn't willing to do anything. She'll talk, call people, etc. but when it comes to practical things which make cheating again harder or more painful if caught... it's like some big mystery. More importantly, I doubt she actually wants to do any of these. She's just hoping husband "forgives" while still being in a position were she could cheat, leave him, etc. without any additional consequences.
Her dismissive attitude towards this situation is infuriating. She is acting like a high schooler about the most serious relationship in her life.
She does sound very emotionally disconnected.
She doesn't want to save the marriage. She wants to save the idea of marriage, especially since there are kids involved. However, most family courts will probably rule in her favor with sole custody and alimony, even though she was the one who was unfaithful. If she's in CA, it's very likely that will happen. Family courts today are biased against men, which is probably why most divorces are initiated by women.
My soon to be ex-husband sounds EXACTLY like this woman and had an “emotional” affair as well with his co-worker. Let’s swap partners lol This woman’s husband deserves better just like me. We both deserve more than what we received.
Yes you both do deserve better & you will find it. 💗
Im so sorry
No you didnt "receive" this person. Its not like you got a package or something. Unless this was an arranged marriage or something. Most likely you chose this person like you're choosing to divorce. You're giving up on the marriage. This is going to be heartbreaking and I'm sorry. I like how John said that her husband probably isn't a Saint. None of us are. But we can take our time and choose our spouse wisely. The Bible helps, church helps and there's so many books and videos about these topics. I pray you reach out before you make a mistake. Look inside. Why would your husband do this? What are you doing that caused this reaction from him? He's not right. But what did you do to ignite this emotion inside of him?
@@BrD4GOD I'm starting to think arranged marriages aren't that bad.🤔😁
@@BrD4GOD sounds like you are saying that she must have done something for her husband to do what he did. If you are not going to be civil in your comment,please keep that to yourself
She doesn't sound like she cares. "Or whatever" doesn't sound promising
Um. . . . or whatever. . .
Maybe deep down she feels like nothing she says or does might help right now and she's emotionally shut off to avoid her own shame and sadness (?). People who cheat don't do it because they are happy or for sheerly for fun (generally).
@@yootoob1001001so you’re blaming the husband? WOW
@@yootoob1001001and?
Whatever
"She's for the streets"
I was gonna write this 😆
She is the streets
Facts
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Indeed 😅
Does anyone believe it was only "emotional?" I certainly don't.
Love can not exist where there is no trust
Did you hear her say he wants to work on our marriage...blah, blah, blah!!! That said it all.
As soon as I found out about my now-ex's affair, I divorced her. There would never have been trust again and she wasn't remorseful about it at all. And it wasn't just emotional, either. According to her, it started off as physical and became emotional after months of them sleeping together. Good riddance.
You'll find most women that cheat in general don't have remorse for cheating and actually despise and resent their husbands. It's beyond sad.
👏👏👏👏
Good decision. What's your ex doing now?
@@HHH_3
Probably OF to foot her bills
Almost 10 minutes in and I am starting to feel as if she isn't taking this seriously in the slightest bit. She just wants him to get over it because she said it's over. Not how it works sweetheart
She’s only upset she got caught. Now she’s panicking at the thought of losing 50% of everything.
Took you 10 minutes. Whoa.
All John had to say was “How would you feel if he had done this to you and what would you want him to do to fix the situation?” That would’ve changed her response.
Whatever !
John doesn’t hold women’s feet to the fire 🔥 often if at all. That’s the missing part in these situations its go easy on the woman and presume its something her husband must have did to cause her to cheat. A man caller says he cheated he be scum. No one would ask what his wife did to drive him away. 😂. So gynocentric.
You can’t. You can get forgiveness, but the trust is gone. At this point, it’s; “how much is this worth to me to stay here?”.
Not necessarily, that's a choice.
Usually any form of commitment ends there, we can still bang for a few years while you look for a new man and ill just help u cheat on them instead but i aint gonna be the fool more than once
It is possible though it'd take a lot of work and unremitting commitment to it on BOTH their parts to repair it. I have seen a few couples (albeit not many) who came back from an affair and after a LOT of work seem to be stronger together than before it happened, maybe because whatever problems laid the ground for the affair finally were put on the table and dealt with.
@@yootoob1001001Can you possibly elaborate on what, exactly, some things are that contribute to their happy marriage after infidelity? It’s so rare to see this happen.
@@yootoob1001001As a professional, I’ve seen that happen too, but not very often.
This woman, like most people, is allergic to the word accountability. You start by giving him a divorce and everything he asks for in that divorce. Then when that is done you can TRY to earn his trust back.
And pay off your own debt you racked up! Instead of wanting him to get over what you did and stay married so he can keep paying it off for you.
accountability = Kryptonite
Trust is one of the easiest things to loose, yet one of the hardest to regain. A good place to start is telling the truth always and be transparent even when it would be more beneficial or advantages to lie even on the "small" stuff.
From the streets you came, and to the streets you shall return!
😂
Shout out to Dr. John on this one. You can clearly see he was emotionally impacted with the whole call. You handled yourself with composure, I think any reasonable person was just cringing the whole time. What a true testament to your professionalism. Although calls like these can seem like "there's no way someone can possibly think this way" its the true reality of emotionally immature adults. But calls like these are important for this type of platform, just real, raw and unfilted.
If you haven't picked up Children of Emotionally Immature Parents do it. My therapist recommended it and Dr John has recommended it. Life changer. Absolute LIFE CHANGER!
Thank you for the content and real emotion. This is the type of content that shows how connected and enlightened videos on youtube can be
All her laughing is so ridiculous! She thinks it’s a joke.
This is a gem of a book and I read it as a 18 year old and it is so true.
I would have liked to been a fly on the wall at their wedding just to hear her say "I do or whatever" 😂
Been cheated on twice in my lifetime. It is the worst pain ever. Haven't dated in 15 years. Tired of the liars, the games and bullsh*t. Happily single. It's too hard to find honest men with integrity these days.
41 & single. I have no desire to ever be hurt again either. Totally get where ur coming from
I feel this. I have a good circle of friends and have had people wanting to date me, but I find that I'd rather be alone because my threshold for bullshit is low now that I'm older.
@@Cooniez My threshold for bs is zero.
My ex husband cheated on me while I was pregnant with his children. I found out about all of it a couple months after having my second child. After I finally left I went into therapy, I figured out why I choose a man like him. I learned how to avoid it in the future. I met and married a very kind and honest man. I don’t think this is a “man” issue. There are good people and bad people. Some are cheaters and some aren’t. Being alone is a choice and some people are happy that way, nothing wrong with that. But to imply most men have no integrity is a skewed perception.
It's not hard to find a man with integrity. Those 2 guys you dated just weren't that. It's never too late...
She probably is the type to get mad at her husband for not forgiving her down the line, and then want a divorce and blame it on him not “moving on and forgetting about it”
Yep!! Been there!!
This woman has one messed up mindset. The husband can definitely find another woman to cherish him. May take some time but stayin with her doesn’t sound promising
Yes
I agree.
Agreeeer
When a woman says it was a emotional affair a man can never be sure that's all it was. A woman never admits to cheating unless they are caught red handed them sometimes they still won't.
She probably blew him in his office
That’s exactly what I was thinking. That’s why when it comes to cheating stories like this, I always assume the worst. She says “it was an emotional affair”, I assume she cheated physically. She says “it was only one time”, I assume it was multiple times. She says “it didn’t mean anything”, I assume she really likes/loves her affair partner. Because if she had no problem lying to you for all this time, what makes you think she’s not lying to you right now about the affair details?
wouldn’t care if they didn’t touch. her intentions were clear and just didn’t get the chance to do what she really wanted to. i’d move on
It seems likely that she did have a physical affair.
If he’s smart he’ll leave her and never come back. Once a cheater always a cheater
I can't listen to such a flippant, dishonest person. Not to mention that voice....have mercy
She also doesn't sound very smart. He married a dud.
Having an emotional affair with your boss is crossing a work boundary let alone everything else.
Most things don’t just “happen,” you played a part .
Yep, but the likelihood of her taking accountability for her actions slim to none, and if she doesn't it says 2 things, I'm only sorry I was about to get caught and I'll do it again
True
Exactly. Opportunities can certainly arise but that's were the person in a faithful marriage has the opportunity to say no and then cut that person out of their life for attempting to sabotage the marriage.. Anything less than that is keeping options open.
"or whatever" sums it all up
I don’t you’ll ever regain his trust again. And if it does happen, it definitely won’t happen right away.
Run, husband run!!!
She just doesn’t want to admit that she was physical. You can hear it in her voice. I’ve had this conversation. And it’s not an easy one, and even harder to see through the bullshit. She seems insincere about working it out. Cheaters are quick to attack their partner and start breaking up the relationship. Sadly it happened to me again, however, with kids involved and stuff it’s just not good. Trust has to be the number one thing! It’s what ties the relationship to loyalty. She needs to live with the fact that, she did this to herself and put herself at his behest. Meaning to prove that it’s never ever going to happen again.
🤦🏼♀️ oh man, sounds like she just wants him to get "over it" because she doesn't think it's a big deal and doesn't care about how he actually feels. She shattered his trust between lying about racking up credit card debt and then an affair... Of course he doesn't trust her. This call was a mess with all her giggling and "whatever's" it sounds like she isn't taking this seriously enough and realizing how much she really messed up.
She sounds a bit dimwitted.
Swear to God she sounded proud when she said 'it was my BOSS lel'
Yeah I thought so too
This woman is the unbuttered toast of people.
I'm sure this one would let you butter her buns!
John, I’ve been harsh on you when I think you get it wrong, but man I gotta applaud you on this one: you held her feet to the fire and didn’t accept the webs she was spinning. Bravo
That poor husband!! She’s a liar and can’t be trusted.
As a former husband that also got cheated on and divorced this year, it sucks. I have no sympathy for this woman.
@@jtlegionnaire6310 same here brother! Stay strong, and keep it moving forward on yourself. Take care.
To this lady, if you had come to me for advice, I would say that you need to stop making decisions based purely on emotions/feelings/what feels best now. Instead, strive to be a person of integrity who stands by her vows and commitment to her marriage relationship. Make integrity and commitment your #1 thing and everything else will fall into place. You will need accountability as you and your husband navigate through the next couple of years. Don't go by impulse. Go by what most honors your husband and benefits your marriage. I wish you the best.
👏👏👏
"Or whatever"
“Or whatever” mixed with the way she talks was torture
😂😂😂
Blah blah
I read this before watching and now I am going nuts.
😱 thought I was the only one who can't stand when people say or whatever and especially use it inappropriately in a sentence 🙄
Trust and the relationship will never ever be the same, I know from experience
3:55 Look at John's reacting to "He's like 'I want to work on our marriage' and I said 'ya me too blah blah blah'". Lol
She wasn't serious and she isn't serious now.
Hope she reads these comments. This woman is shameful
This is a double edged sword. The type of man that would forgive a woman that cheats is NOT the type of man that women are attracted to. If he forgives his wife, then she doubtless will lose attraction for him. This is why some types of marriage counseling is such a ridiculous idea, you cannot rebuild attraction for an individual through counseling.
@bogdansoare6280 Fair point, and since women usually only have a one mate strategy, any attempt at forgiveness on his part would just make him look worse. I am making the argument that it is a lost cause for men to tolerate cheating.
@@GreybeardmedicAgreed. If they cheat, you walk, simple. Although I think it helps to spell that out at the beginning of a relationship - everyone knows the rules. Similarly, if you want different rules, discuss it.
Ppl think that coming clean with their mistake solves everything. DON'T MAKE IT and then DON'T DO IT EVER AGAIN.
I like how it is always a “mistake “ and not a series of decisions. They all talk like it just happened
He may forgive but he will never forget
Omg my blood pressure is going up listening to this. She’s gas lighting her husband! This poor man. Like girl until you own up to and try to change and stop projecting on your husband, you will not and don’t deserve his trust. Poor guy he doesn’t deserve any of this. People truly ruin other people😓
Omg! Can you say "like" or whatever anymore 🤦♂️good god!!!
Run man 🏃♂️!!!
I’m binge watching this show after separating with my lying husband. I’m never dating again.
Try to heal for yourself. He is a pos and likely never deserved or valued you. Plenty of good men out there but don't bring the pain forward.
@AnusiaLA, you will recover. And you will find a partner. Just keep your eyes open: people show you who they are by their actions.
I hope you're doing better.
@@CAPTAIN_FANTASTIC_WORKS_OUT I’m good now but still not interested in dating almost 2 years after I left. That marriage really did a number on me and I don’t want to lose my peace again.
@@KevinRichardson444 I am doing much better. Thank you
Message for the husband: RUN! Don not stay! It will be the worst mistake of your life.
I've been watching a few of these Dr. John cheating/affair videos and I noticed that he never explicitly says to the caller to "you need to search within yourself and find out why you cheated or what lead you to cheat". I'm not sure if there's a reason behind him not saying this but it's really important to know that there is always a reason someone cheats, cheating is a choice. Insecurity, boredom/lack of romance, lack of attention from partner, emotional abuse from partner, emotional distance/ grew apart etc. It's never a bad idea to speak with a marriage counsellor to identify those self issues to work on before marriage.
If cheaters want to solve the problem, they need to take accountability and look WITHIN instead of pointing their finger outward. No marriage is perfect so there’s always available excuses to cheat. The issue is with the cheater’s character.
He needs to say 'you are a POS person' Pay penance, then pay more penance, then check the penance is adequate, then look as to why.
That’s irrelevant and a waste of time. There is never an acceptable excuse or reason to cheat. Period.
He says that in different words though. Just because he doesn't say a specific phrase to a T doesn't mean he didn't convey the same message.
"Grab that" and "pick that up" are 2 things that mean the same thing.
You really think someone like this can just search within themselves and fix the issue? He mentioned getting help from outside which is needed.
I love how she cheats with him and then when John asks them their ideal relationship. They want him to be honest.
If your put the ring o then your accepting that they are the only one, It isn't a chocolate bar you eat and then throw it away
John, you are right to give people grace but there is a difference between a mistake and willful sin while masking your guilt because of worldly pleasure.
No wife or husband deserves that.
She seem's like a narc. She lacks empathy and understanding what a adult relationship looks like. She self centered and didn't want her husband until he wanted out. She's another woman that can't stand on her own. This is why marriage shouldn't be shoved down young people's throat. Live and be happy on your own first. Seriously you're a totally different person each decade.
Alpha Male Strategies (AMS) needs to answer this.
Take a shot of tequila every time she says “or whatever”.
I'm already stoned or whatever
I have heard multiple times that accountability is a womans kryptonite. Each of these calls prove that point even more. It does take two but these women seem not to understand that the men they are with are predators. They are well versed in finding the emotional weakness in them. If they cheat with you they will cheat on you.
What...the men are predators...lol? Sounds like you're from the old school belief that men are bad and women are victims. It's not that these men are ''predators'', it's that women are attracted to them and allow them into their beds. If anything, women are the predators! They are the party who ultimately invite these men into their beds. The men merely said yes.
It is absolutely painful hearing this woman beat around the bush and try to minimize her deceitful actions. My ears feel like they’re about to start bleeding.
Run, Forrest, run! The fact that this woman can’t spit out what’s she’s done says it all.
Sounds like she's just looking to keep her meal ticket as opposed to keeping her marriage.
The crazy train has no brakes but the gravy train does!
Meal ticket? She works.
Her rug sweeping any issue is very telling that she does not like confrontation and is a people pleaser.
I could tell from the second I heard her speak that she was a cheater
SAME.
lol sure
Delony you have such a good heart.
Hart as in the wal mart tool brand or heart?
@@MrTmenzo hey look at that I just corrected. Hopefully that will make your day more meaningful. Have a good weekend.
"I do too blah blah blah." "How do I earn trust with him or whatever?" Wow... if you are reading this husband, you need to leave. She doesn't care about your feelings at all. What a completely unserious woman.
We all make mistakes. You can get his trust again only if he decides too. Learning to forgive is very important in a relationship. But also, this lady sounds like she needs to build more character..
Cheating isn't a mistake though. And character is something you either have or you don't. You can't start building character after you cheat lol!
@@Crystalbomb321 Cheating is a mistake. It's also a symptom of bigger problems with both people in a relationship, not the problem in and of itself.
@@yootoob1001001 mistake? You sound dumb. It was a clear, calculated, concise choice to do what she did. You think having sex with someone other than your husband or wife is a mistake huh? Enlighten me how willfully deceiving someone on multiple levels and willfully having an emotional and physical relationship with someone other than your designated partner, is a mistake.
@@yootoob1001001Falling off your bike is a mistake - an unintentional oopsie. Unless your brain has been taken over by zombies, cheating is a conscious choice supported by multiple decisions made over time.
@yootoob1001001 cheating is more so a inside problem. If the other party is treating you 100% right and makes you feel like a princess you can still cheat. Some cheating is worse then others but unless you can say to your partner exactly what you need sex wise and they dont offer that sex wise cheating is a personal failing
Really.....just Don't have an affair....the minute you decide to go in that direction, you have risked loosing them. Why should you expect trust when your behaviour was weak and untrustworthy?
and, um, whatever - dinner conversation must be AMAZING with this woman - GEESH!
Her husband needs to detach himself emotionally, physically, financially, encourage her to get a new job and file for a divorce. She'll not change, she isn't at all remorseful.
Women are never remorseful about the affair just about getting caught
Me and my wife are adamant about never sharing our relationship with anyone outside our marriage except with God. We know not the leave the door open to the possibility of infidelity or others to come between our marriage.
“….or whatever.”
Sums up her entire game.
Short answer is you can’t. Once that trust is broke, it’s broken for good. No matter how much you pray, get therapy and talk it out. It’ll never be the same so get it right the first time
Yep caught mine not long ago. Will never trust her.
I hope she gets the help she needs 🙏
This issue with credit card debt as well as keeping it a secret shows the caller has poor emotional regulation and impulse control
Impossible. My mom did it to my dad. I never seen love and affection for her after that. They stayed together for us kids. I would never accept cheating. I’d forgive but would divorce.
Simple answer you can’t. Even if you stay with someone who cheats on you. There will always be doubt in your mind and lack of trust.
Nope… she doesn’t want to stay married to him. She might want to stay married for the stability (finances, emotional support, etc) but that’s it.
She is frustrated that her husband doesn’t trust her. She missed the #1 rule: when you fck up, you can’t control how someone responds to your fck up. It might take him years to develop trust again. There’s nothing she can do to speed that up.
Wow, this woman is something else. I hope he left her. She doesn’t deserve any one.
From a guy who's wife has cheated on him multiple times, this dude needs to run.
The simple answer is you will not. However if your husband is weak and stays married , in a few months or so it won't matter and secretly you will lose more respect for him anyway. The ugly truth is you would respect him more if he ended it and walked away. Be honest with yourself and if you have any decency left , do him a favour and leave.. of course if that costs you financial security you probably won't. Beta Bucks is hard to give up
I have dealt with situations like this professionally for over 40 years. (Yes, I’m old.) Dr. John gave great advice as he always does based on what she told him. Based upon my own experience with people like her, I will guarantee you that she had sex with this guy. Put it in the bank. And this is not the first time. One common thread in all cheating stories is that they only admit it when they get caught. In over 40 years of doing this I’ve not seen one single exception to that rule. It would be great to see a cheater actually come to their partner and confess and beg forgiveness without being caught. There will be a snowball fight in Hell before we see that happen. Sad!
Does any one else hear the “ I did nothing wrong “ in her voice. When women cheat they rarely think they did something wrong.
no accountability for anything - very typical
Those things don't just happen. They happen because of lack of boundaries.
So true, my husband didnt realize spending time with another woman was crossing boundaries.
Then he had the audacity to say it was my fault that he "fell in love" with another person.
And he wonders why I cant trust him. He threw it in my face repeatedly even during counseling.
100%
Leave her, “or whatever”
This woman does not want to be with this man, she is just like "whatever".
The answer to the question of “regaining trust” is easy; you can’t and you won’t. You can possibly keep the marriage but it won’t be the same ever. Plus, he knows you’ll cheat again
She got “emotionally” involved with a coworker 😂😂
Imagine believing that haha
You don’t. You never will.
You have ruined things. I have been cheated on. It is heartbreaking, insulting, embarrassing and it ruins EVERYTHING.
It will ALWAYS be in the back of his mind.
First, cheaters never prosper!!
Fellas when it slipped out, she put it back in. There's never going back.