How Can I Regain My Husband's Trust After My Affair?

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  • Опубліковано 19 сер 2021
  • How Can I Regain My Husband's Trust After My Affair?
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 1 тис.

  • @backhandsauce6459
    @backhandsauce6459 2 роки тому +1796

    hopefully this "husband or whatever" files for divorce or whatever

    • @qcspt
      @qcspt 2 роки тому +161

      Because she's been dishonest, or whatever, throughout their marriage, or whatever...

    • @monicaporta7759
      @monicaporta7759 2 роки тому +124

      I'm glad I wasn't the only one cringing every time she said whatever 😒

    • @rachelgooden9981
      @rachelgooden9981 2 роки тому +5

      Hahahaahahah

    • @calihuntfish7163
      @calihuntfish7163 2 роки тому +20

      Hahaorwhateverhahahah

    • @TheMechanicj
      @TheMechanicj 2 роки тому +19

      Hopefully her brakes fail coming down Mount Everest cause if he divorces she will take him to the cleaners

  • @MarieL0ve
    @MarieL0ve 2 роки тому +1077

    “Regain his trust after cheating.” You don’t. You simply won’t. Your husband will never be able to look at you the same.

    • @alanparedes2034
      @alanparedes2034 2 роки тому +3

      He might like the fact she's likes other 👨

    • @jengable4888
      @jengable4888 2 роки тому +32

      She did not have a physical affair, but maybe an emotional one. Part of the problem, as I see it, is her constant behavior that breeds mistrust. For some of us who have been hurt by cheating/abusive tactics in the past, once the trust is broken, you cannot fix the situation.

    • @nightfangs2910
      @nightfangs2910 2 роки тому +49

      She had a physical affair she just won't tell anyone she knows if she speaks it her husband will be done with her

    • @jengable4888
      @jengable4888 2 роки тому +15

      @@nightfangs2910 ..I am sure if her husband wants to dig deep enough, he can get to the truth. The question is, does he want to go through that process ? If it were me, I would want to know the truth, regardless of what it is. Time is too precious to be wasted on someone who has little to no regard for you.

    • @nightfangs2910
      @nightfangs2910 2 роки тому +9

      @@jengable4888 he needs to cut loose of her she's upset because she got caught not because of what she did, no need to search for the truth it's already staring you in the face

  • @brendanc2877
    @brendanc2877 2 роки тому +613

    "I wasn't deleting the messages fast enough, they popped up on my watch" ... so basically she is sorry she got caught.

    • @yootoob1001001
      @yootoob1001001 Рік тому +3

      Maybe, though even if she realized she made a mistake and was trying to stop things from going further with the affair and even if the texts got deleted without her getting caught, it doesn't necessarily mean the problems between her and her husband would have disappeared with them. Without them working on things, it would just be a matter of time before the problems popped up in the form of another affair or some other egregious behavior.

    • @samuellolango9720
      @samuellolango9720 5 місяців тому +27

      @@yootoob1001001 why do people always assume that cheating is because of problems in the relationship? havent heard this video all it shows is that she is just a POS

    • @Lowendju
      @Lowendju 3 місяці тому

      🎯

    • @stevend481
      @stevend481 2 місяці тому

      Not necessarily. She was just saying how she got caught

  • @abeveridge89
    @abeveridge89 2 роки тому +974

    "She's for the streets"

  • @Btone1018
    @Btone1018 2 роки тому +518

    Typical for cheaters to hurt someone then get upset that the other doesn’t trust them anymore. 🤦🏽‍♂️

  • @David-wo9un
    @David-wo9un 2 роки тому +325

    While recounting the story she says “blah, blah, blah”; that speaks volumes as to her lack of responsibility.

  • @mw6346
    @mw6346 2 роки тому +417

    Wow! She is taking zero responsibility at all. She has no empathy for her husband's feelings. She literally thinks he should just move on because she says she's being honest.

    • @a33m3a
      @a33m3a 2 роки тому +35

      Seriously. She’s acting as if he owes her his trust. As if she’s entitled to his trust just because for once she’s being honest.

    • @mustangthings
      @mustangthings 2 роки тому +6

      Allegedly. The waffling language leads me to believe they banged repeatedly.

    • @deanalbertson7203
      @deanalbertson7203 2 роки тому +20

      She is laughing about having a relationship with her boss.

    • @naraendrareddy273
      @naraendrareddy273 Рік тому

      And who knows, she probably even had sex and lying about it to protect her image.

    • @pmcfearson9453
      @pmcfearson9453 Рік тому +9

      Default woman. She can’t see past her own nose. She wants to buy something, credit cards, she meets the first man who makes more money that will flirt with her, cheats. The reason she is with her husband is bc he is paying off her debt.
      Towards the end she wants what her boss did to her from her husband.

  • @freebein
    @freebein 2 роки тому +314

    One thing I've learned about cheaters is that they don't learn to stop. They learn to get better at lying and hiding it.

    • @ultraviolet3971
      @ultraviolet3971 2 роки тому +5

      Hallelujah

    • @scaredpaul540
      @scaredpaul540 4 місяці тому +9

      once a cheater, always a cheater

    • @winser21
      @winser21 2 місяці тому +2

      Cheaters have no business feeling like they’re owed trust in an intimate relationship ever again. You destroyed your spouse’s world. YOUR SPOUSE’S. It’s as obvious as, for example, never trusting a child abuser to be a babysitter.

    • @darrellhoward3132
      @darrellhoward3132 17 днів тому

      That’s not true. My wife caught me cheating about 20 years into our marriage. She told me if it happened again, it was over. I chose to believe her. This August will be our 41st anniversary. I was in a sexless marriage and got stupid but knew I truly loved my wife.

  • @ZGADOW
    @ZGADOW Рік тому +89

    Her dismissive attitude towards this situation is infuriating. She is acting like a high schooler about the most serious relationship in her life.

    • @yootoob1001001
      @yootoob1001001 Рік тому +9

      She does sound very emotionally disconnected.

  • @ominous450
    @ominous450 2 роки тому +349

    She doesn't sound like she cares. "Or whatever" doesn't sound promising

    • @stellarocquie7957
      @stellarocquie7957 2 роки тому +4

      Um. . . . or whatever. . .

    • @yootoob1001001
      @yootoob1001001 Рік тому +2

      Maybe deep down she feels like nothing she says or does might help right now and she's emotionally shut off to avoid her own shame and sadness (?). People who cheat don't do it because they are happy or for sheerly for fun (generally).

    • @lostprophecy7593
      @lostprophecy7593 2 місяці тому +1

      @@yootoob1001001so you’re blaming the husband? WOW

    • @broforcefreedom4936
      @broforcefreedom4936 2 місяці тому

      @@yootoob1001001and?

    • @scottlaux6934
      @scottlaux6934 2 місяці тому

      Whatever

  • @larissagonzales6075
    @larissagonzales6075 2 роки тому +395

    This is what makes me feel great being single, not putting up with BS and liars.

    • @thetruth5635
      @thetruth5635 2 роки тому +8

      I would date you

    • @DudeMuscle
      @DudeMuscle 2 роки тому +14

      @@thetruth5635 lol

    • @TheMechanicj
      @TheMechanicj 2 роки тому +10

      There are good men out there they may have normal jobs 40000 or so work hard no six packs name is not chad or Tyrone not 6 ft 3 but if a dude doesn’t meet all that criteria he only has about 2% of the female population that will breed with him

    • @zyzzuschrist3410
      @zyzzuschrist3410 2 роки тому +2

      @@thetruth5635 thirsty 🚿

    • @anaguerrerosholisticwellbe2788
      @anaguerrerosholisticwellbe2788 Рік тому

      Yep!!

  • @brookemoore8369
    @brookemoore8369 2 роки тому +272

    This lady is a lost cause. She is deceitful and can’t take accountability for her mistakes and has no empathy for her husband and why he has trust issues now. It’s going to takes years to mend this marriage, and she acts like she doesn’t have the time. He needs to leave. He deserves better.

    • @brookemoore8369
      @brookemoore8369 2 роки тому +12

      I also think her husband needs to call up that guy and get the entire story if he can. His wife can’t tell the truth, and it’s going to drive him crazy wondering if they were physical with each other at all. He needs to try and get the truth because she’s not going to tell it.

    • @davidvillafranca2011
      @davidvillafranca2011 2 роки тому +23

      I don’t think she is being truthful with Dr. D.

    • @brookemoore8369
      @brookemoore8369 2 роки тому +20

      David Villafranca I don’t think so either. You mean to tell me they texted all day long and had intimate conversations with each other while working under the same roof and nothing happened? I highly doubt it. She probably doesn’t want to leave because her husband is paying off all the credit card debt she hid from him. Poor guy.

    • @nathanheinl7975
      @nathanheinl7975 2 роки тому +1

      There's no such thing as a lost cause. They CAN heal this marriage. She just needs to be vulnerable and get some counseling like Dr. D said. She just needs to decide what's more important... I wish her luck, because that's a long road to hoe.

    • @brookemoore8369
      @brookemoore8369 2 роки тому +4

      Nathan Andrew Agreed. The problem is that she doesn’t take true accountability for her actions and think her husband should just get over all this just because he found out the truth, and she confessed. It doesn’t work that way….. she’s a long way off from being able to be a person her husband can trust, but it seems like she doesn’t even know it.

  • @Hiker2110
    @Hiker2110 2 роки тому +384

    As nice as John is to his callers, he also isn't afraid to call out BS. This woman has a history of lying to her husband and I don't get the sense that she feels very remorseful.

  • @brojiden1732
    @brojiden1732 2 роки тому +247

    Simple two word answer: "You can't."
    This is the problem with modern people. We are told we can have it all. We can't. You have to choose what is important to you, and sacrifice for that. We can't have our cakes and eat them too.

    • @jaceemae4648
      @jaceemae4648 2 роки тому

      Right on! I agree you better not do it because if you do you could take a chance on losing a good person for the sake of pleasure to the wrong person. You will mess up and lose the one you will never get back because of sex. Sex is out of control and if you do not control it will control you. Good feeling for the moment want last. Thank about what you can lose a good marriage with the one you love over a moment of pleasure with another man or woman. Some will not put up with a cheater they will leave you on the spot. Some will stay but regret it and be miserable. .

    • @oncetwice5942
      @oncetwice5942 Рік тому +1

      I totally agree with you

    • @BW022
      @BW022 4 місяці тому +1

      While I agree, it is also interesting that neither she, her friends/family, nor John actually suggest practical things she could to do to try to regain trust. Clearly she either didn't think she'd be caught or the fear of divorce weren't enough to stop her from cheating -- and an "emotional affair" is just a nice way of saying "attempted cheating". So, why doesn't she voluntarily take steps to ensure she is less likely to cheat by making it hard to get away with in the future and/or suffer more severe consequences if she is caught again? Probably hopeless if she keeps lying, but...
      1. Agree to a written (and notarized) confession, including every lie you told to be with AP, every time you were alone, everyone who knew, etc.
      2. You offer a polygraph test. Now and anytime he wishes. You pay for them. You offer all phone, credit card, bank statements, medical records, etc.
      3. The house, savings, and investments go into his parent's name. Day-to-day finances are separated, all your pay goes to the house/living, while his is saved into accounts owned by his parents. Thus, if you ever cheat again, you get nothing.
      4. You give up your cell phone -- forever. If someone needs to call you, they can speak for you husband. If that is "too much", then he buys you a phone setup in 'kid's mode' -- no apps, he sees all your messages, etc. GPS is on. If you must use a computer, he provides it, family account, and he gets to see all your email. You give up all social media. If you really need an account for friends/family, he creates a joint account.
      6. You tell everyone about your affair. Your friends and family, his family, your boss (and get ready to find another job). Harder to cheat when folks are watching and easier for him to divorce if he wishes.
      7. No more girl's nights, drinking, male friends, single or divorced female friends, you can't go anywhere there are men and alcohol without your husband, etc.
      8. If AP is at work, you quit, and get another job.
      etc.
      I'm not saying her husband should even bother, but it's interesting that she offered none of these, nor did John. Why not? Why would the husband expect her to be faithful in the future when nothing has changed? He's supposed to trust her despite being in the exact same situation, with the exception that she'd now be more convinced that he won't divorce her for cheating, because he already "forgave" her. I think we know why she isn't offering any of this... she doesn't trust herself, certainly now enough to risk not getting half in the case of a divorce.

    • @Kivlor
      @Kivlor 4 місяці тому

      @@BW022 I was planning to say pretty much the same. No practical advice given.
      I'd offer some changes to your list, but overall I agree.
      2. I'd probably not tell her to _offer_ forever testing, but to agree to it if asked in the future. Offering it may just encourage paranoia in the H, and prevent him healing, if that's possible for him.
      3. is a little too much IMO. It would be bad advice to incentivize her H to dip out in 6 months and leave her with nothing. She must give complete financial transparency though. If taking your advice, I'd recommend a trust over his parents' name, to prevent risk of theft by family, or worse, they die and other heirs try to stake a claim. It would have to be very carefully crafted, so H isn't incentivized to financially destroy her, but also so she stands to lose big _if_ she cheats again.
      6. I'd amend to be in H's court. "This doesn't have to be a secret, I support you, and I will go with you to tell whoever you want the truth, including all of my family and yours."

    • @BW022
      @BW022 4 місяці тому

      @@Kivlor
      2. Sorry, she needs to offer it. She needs to show she is willing to proactively come clean and not rely on him asking. She needs to proactively remove doubt?
      3. Sure, it's extreme and it's possible husband walks or his parents (or whoever) could walk away with the house. However, without this he's still going to think she's only in it for the money and/or she has no additional reason to be faithful and he'll be worse off in a year if finds her cheating again. If losing her husband wasn't enough to stop her from cheating the first time, so maybe also losing the house, savings, retirements, etc. will help her make the right choice. At the least, it shows her husband that he won't be a financial sucker for putting more into the marriage only to find out she cheats again.
      6. Sure, husband could decline any of these, but it needs to be offered. The key question is... would X action make it more or less likely she'll cheat again. Well, if her family, friends, etc. knows that she cheated, if she feels the scorn, if they are watching her, if they are no longer on her side if she pulls this again, if they understand why the marriage is in trouble and know to support husband, etc. she is less likely to check.
      The issue is still that she actually isn't willing to do anything. She'll talk, call people, etc. but when it comes to practical things which make cheating again harder or more painful if caught... it's like some big mystery. More importantly, I doubt she actually wants to do any of these. She's just hoping husband "forgives" while still being in a position were she could cheat, leave him, etc. without any additional consequences.

  • @benny3969
    @benny3969 4 місяці тому +14

    When she used words like “blah, blah, blah” and “like whatever” you know she’s completely devoid of shame, regret, and repentance.

  • @marissarissa8122
    @marissarissa8122 2 роки тому +97

    This woman has one messed up mindset. The husband can definitely find another woman to cherish him. May take some time but stayin with her doesn’t sound promising

  • @Candace-M-
    @Candace-M- 2 роки тому +395

    A lot of people call in with this "I kind of did something wrong or whatever" story asking for advice, but it can really just come off sounding like a child who got in trouble and doesn't want to take responsibility for their actions. There's definitely a lot more to this so I hope she can get to the root of the problem to help her make better choices.

    • @luminous6969
      @luminous6969 2 роки тому +21

      I like how John presses them to give specifics.
      "What was the cause of the divorce?"
      "Infidelity."
      "On whose part?"
      "*shocked Pikachu face*"

    • @jengable4888
      @jengable4888 2 роки тому +1

      I would agree-

    • @sds6303
      @sds6303 Рік тому +15

      Typically narcissistic people have the emotional maturity of an 8-12 yo. So yeah, emotionally you’re dealing with a child.

    • @yootoob1001001
      @yootoob1001001 Рік тому +4

      @Candice - Agree. There is definitely a problem to get to the root of if she's having affairs and overspending to the point it causes financial issues for them. I might have said maybe she's just unhappy and doesn't know what she wants and how to get her needs met, but I think there's more to it after I heard her attitude and manner. They'd probably benefit from individual couseling as well as joint.

    • @nikkita1688
      @nikkita1688 Рік тому +3

      It's got to be difficult to talk about this already. Then add the awkwardness of doing it on a recorded show. People don't think about that.

  • @Calgarysrealtor
    @Calgarysrealtor Рік тому +87

    Here’s a tip, usually when your spouse asks you a serious questions they often know the answer and are relying on you to tell the truth.

    • @phelps1485
      @phelps1485 4 місяці тому

      Biggest lie I've ever Heard 😊

    • @Jayisinvisible
      @Jayisinvisible Місяць тому

      Couldn’t be more correct!! 💯🫡🤜🏽🤛🏽And it’s why personally I move on. The moment you forgive and forget is the moment you’ve elevated the cheater to a new, unlocked version of being more sneaky. It’s so sickening😒

  • @Mr.Rogers91
    @Mr.Rogers91 2 роки тому +121

    Almost 10 minutes in and I am starting to feel as if she isn't taking this seriously in the slightest bit. She just wants him to get over it because she said it's over. Not how it works sweetheart

    • @heslind
      @heslind 2 роки тому +11

      She’s only upset she got caught. Now she’s panicking at the thought of losing 50% of everything.

    • @MoMo-00
      @MoMo-00 2 роки тому +1

      Took you 10 minutes. Whoa.

  • @suznknight5896
    @suznknight5896 2 роки тому +31

    Did you hear her say he wants to work on our marriage...blah, blah, blah!!! That said it all.

  • @Astro95Media
    @Astro95Media 2 роки тому +68

    As soon as I found out about my now-ex's affair, I divorced her. There would never have been trust again and she wasn't remorseful about it at all. And it wasn't just emotional, either. According to her, it started off as physical and became emotional after months of them sleeping together. Good riddance.

    • @andrewvincent7299
      @andrewvincent7299 Рік тому +12

      You'll find most women that cheat in general don't have remorse for cheating and actually despise and resent their husbands. It's beyond sad.

  • @00163291
    @00163291 2 роки тому +226

    My soon to be ex-husband sounds EXACTLY like this woman and had an “emotional” affair as well with his co-worker. Let’s swap partners lol This woman’s husband deserves better just like me. We both deserve more than what we received.

    • @alexisr224
      @alexisr224 2 роки тому +11

      Yes you both do deserve better & you will find it. 💗

    • @johnjeremih
      @johnjeremih 2 роки тому +1

      Im so sorry

    • @BrD4GOD
      @BrD4GOD 2 роки тому +6

      No you didnt "receive" this person. Its not like you got a package or something. Unless this was an arranged marriage or something. Most likely you chose this person like you're choosing to divorce. You're giving up on the marriage. This is going to be heartbreaking and I'm sorry. I like how John said that her husband probably isn't a Saint. None of us are. But we can take our time and choose our spouse wisely. The Bible helps, church helps and there's so many books and videos about these topics. I pray you reach out before you make a mistake. Look inside. Why would your husband do this? What are you doing that caused this reaction from him? He's not right. But what did you do to ignite this emotion inside of him?

    • @sarrahconley3143
      @sarrahconley3143 2 роки тому +2

      @@BrD4GOD I'm starting to think arranged marriages aren't that bad.🤔😁

    • @purplelove3666
      @purplelove3666 2 роки тому +4

      @@BrD4GOD sounds like you are saying that she must have done something for her husband to do what he did. If you are not going to be civil in your comment,please keep that to yourself

  • @kengy1991
    @kengy1991 2 роки тому +103

    All John had to say was “How would you feel if he had done this to you and what would you want him to do to fix the situation?” That would’ve changed her response.

  • @Montoya777
    @Montoya777 2 роки тому +46

    This woman, like most people, is allergic to the word accountability. You start by giving him a divorce and everything he asks for in that divorce. Then when that is done you can TRY to earn his trust back.

    • @hmmmbrilee
      @hmmmbrilee Рік тому +6

      And pay off your own debt you racked up! Instead of wanting him to get over what you did and stay married so he can keep paying it off for you.

  • @joesillamanrs7189
    @joesillamanrs7189 2 роки тому +105

    From the streets you came, and to the streets you shall return!

  • @annaelisavettavonnedozza9607
    @annaelisavettavonnedozza9607 Рік тому +49

    Oh…my…God…It’s like pulling teeth getting her to talk.
    Dr. D HAS THE PATIENCE OF A SAINT

  • @davidturk6170
    @davidturk6170 2 роки тому +146

    You can’t. You can get forgiveness, but the trust is gone. At this point, it’s; “how much is this worth to me to stay here?”.

    • @ASmith-jn7kf
      @ASmith-jn7kf Рік тому +2

      Not necessarily, that's a choice.

    • @banquetoftheleviathan1404
      @banquetoftheleviathan1404 Рік тому +1

      Usually any form of commitment ends there, we can still bang for a few years while you look for a new man and ill just help u cheat on them instead but i aint gonna be the fool more than once

    • @yootoob1001001
      @yootoob1001001 Рік тому +3

      It is possible though it'd take a lot of work and unremitting commitment to it on BOTH their parts to repair it. I have seen a few couples (albeit not many) who came back from an affair and after a LOT of work seem to be stronger together than before it happened, maybe because whatever problems laid the ground for the affair finally were put on the table and dealt with.

    • @user-ex3mx7hk4l
      @user-ex3mx7hk4l 9 місяців тому +3

      @@yootoob1001001Can you possibly elaborate on what, exactly, some things are that contribute to their happy marriage after infidelity? It’s so rare to see this happen.

    • @gregorycarlson6632
      @gregorycarlson6632 7 місяців тому +1

      @@yootoob1001001As a professional, I’ve seen that happen too, but not very often.

  • @phillyhippie
    @phillyhippie 6 місяців тому +36

    I would have liked to been a fly on the wall at their wedding just to hear her say "I do or whatever" 😂

  • @RG-hf4et
    @RG-hf4et 2 роки тому +72

    Been cheated on twice in my lifetime. It is the worst pain ever. Haven't dated in 15 years. Tired of the liars, the games and bullsh*t. Happily single. It's too hard to find honest men with integrity these days.

    • @annaelisavettavonnedozza9607
      @annaelisavettavonnedozza9607 Рік тому +13

      41 & single. I have no desire to ever be hurt again either. Totally get where ur coming from

    • @Cooniez
      @Cooniez Рік тому +6

      I feel this. I have a good circle of friends and have had people wanting to date me, but I find that I'd rather be alone because my threshold for bullshit is low now that I'm older.

    • @RG-hf4et
      @RG-hf4et Рік тому +4

      @@Cooniez My threshold for bs is zero.

    • @vsand9798
      @vsand9798 11 місяців тому +20

      My ex husband cheated on me while I was pregnant with his children. I found out about all of it a couple months after having my second child. After I finally left I went into therapy, I figured out why I choose a man like him. I learned how to avoid it in the future. I met and married a very kind and honest man. I don’t think this is a “man” issue. There are good people and bad people. Some are cheaters and some aren’t. Being alone is a choice and some people are happy that way, nothing wrong with that. But to imply most men have no integrity is a skewed perception.

    • @ForeverMG
      @ForeverMG 10 місяців тому +8

      It's not hard to find a man with integrity. Those 2 guys you dated just weren't that. It's never too late...

  • @sXePunkV2
    @sXePunkV2 2 роки тому +116

    I can't listen to such a flippant, dishonest person. Not to mention that voice....have mercy

    • @budgiebirdy
      @budgiebirdy 2 роки тому +5

      She also doesn't sound very smart. He married a dud.

  • @RachelReaiah
    @RachelReaiah Рік тому +56

    Accountability is a word a lot of people refuse to incorporate into their lives

  • @araydog
    @araydog Рік тому +28

    Love can not exist where there is no trust

  • @Rob-fn1kp
    @Rob-fn1kp 2 роки тому +31

    Hope she reads these comments. This woman is shameful

  • @MrTile2010
    @MrTile2010 2 роки тому +46

    That poor husband!! She’s a liar and can’t be trusted.

    • @jtlegionnaire6310
      @jtlegionnaire6310 2 роки тому +6

      As a former husband that also got cheated on and divorced this year, it sucks. I have no sympathy for this woman.

    • @MrTile2010
      @MrTile2010 2 роки тому +2

      @@jtlegionnaire6310 same here brother! Stay strong, and keep it moving forward on yourself. Take care.

  • @raeanna451
    @raeanna451 2 роки тому +46

    🤦🏼‍♀️ oh man, sounds like she just wants him to get "over it" because she doesn't think it's a big deal and doesn't care about how he actually feels. She shattered his trust between lying about racking up credit card debt and then an affair... Of course he doesn't trust her. This call was a mess with all her giggling and "whatever's" it sounds like she isn't taking this seriously enough and realizing how much she really messed up.

  • @itaintobeezy
    @itaintobeezy 2 роки тому +26

    If he’s smart he’ll leave her and never come back. Once a cheater always a cheater

  • @Mills354
    @Mills354 2 роки тому +45

    She probably is the type to get mad at her husband for not forgiving her down the line, and then want a divorce and blame it on him not “moving on and forgetting about it”

    • @jtahoe81
      @jtahoe81 Рік тому +1

      Yep!! Been there!!

  • @Dwhayworth
    @Dwhayworth 2 роки тому +56

    "Or whatever"

    • @marissarissa8122
      @marissarissa8122 2 роки тому +10

      “Or whatever” mixed with the way she talks was torture

    • @K1llSw1TCH97
      @K1llSw1TCH97 2 роки тому

      😂😂😂

    • @candyluna2929
      @candyluna2929 2 роки тому +2

      Blah blah

    • @charlottejorgensen9092
      @charlottejorgensen9092 2 роки тому +1

      I read this before watching and now I am going nuts.

    • @reinamacaren-a4132
      @reinamacaren-a4132 2 роки тому +1

      😱 thought I was the only one who can't stand when people say or whatever and especially use it inappropriately in a sentence 🙄

  • @BrandonKuptzMusic
    @BrandonKuptzMusic 2 роки тому +25

    Run, husband run!!!

  • @rebeccaoprea9917
    @rebeccaoprea9917 2 роки тому +70

    Most things don’t just “happen,” you played a part .

    • @nightfangs2910
      @nightfangs2910 2 роки тому +5

      Yep, but the likelihood of her taking accountability for her actions slim to none, and if she doesn't it says 2 things, I'm only sorry I was about to get caught and I'll do it again

    • @MrNoomiali
      @MrNoomiali 3 місяці тому

      True

  • @702prodigy
    @702prodigy 2 роки тому +45

    wouldn’t care if they didn’t touch. her intentions were clear and just didn’t get the chance to do what she really wanted to. i’d move on

    • @deanalbertson7203
      @deanalbertson7203 2 роки тому +9

      It seems likely that she did have a physical affair.

  • @rb-rq7kq
    @rb-rq7kq Рік тому +54

    When a woman says it was a emotional affair a man can never be sure that's all it was. A woman never admits to cheating unless they are caught red handed them sometimes they still won't.

    • @markmohr9356
      @markmohr9356 Рік тому

      She probably blew him in his office

    • @evansbezil7450
      @evansbezil7450 4 місяці тому +2

      That’s exactly what I was thinking. That’s why when it comes to cheating stories like this, I always assume the worst. She says “it was an emotional affair”, I assume she cheated physically. She says “it was only one time”, I assume it was multiple times. She says “it didn’t mean anything”, I assume she really likes/loves her affair partner. Because if she had no problem lying to you for all this time, what makes you think she’s not lying to you right now about the affair details?

  • @johngonzalez6690
    @johngonzalez6690 2 роки тому +34

    I don’t you’ll ever regain his trust again. And if it does happen, it definitely won’t happen right away.

  • @sakurisake4201
    @sakurisake4201 2 роки тому +18

    Having an emotional affair with your boss is crossing a work boundary let alone everything else.

  • @amandahugenkiss
    @amandahugenkiss 3 місяці тому +3

    Does anyone believe it was only "emotional?" I certainly don't.

  • @jasminbilich6352
    @jasminbilich6352 7 місяців тому +11

    She just doesn’t want to admit that she was physical. You can hear it in her voice. I’ve had this conversation. And it’s not an easy one, and even harder to see through the bullshit. She seems insincere about working it out. Cheaters are quick to attack their partner and start breaking up the relationship. Sadly it happened to me again, however, with kids involved and stuff it’s just not good. Trust has to be the number one thing! It’s what ties the relationship to loyalty. She needs to live with the fact that, she did this to herself and put herself at his behest. Meaning to prove that it’s never ever going to happen again.

  • @lazyakers
    @lazyakers Рік тому +20

    Take a shot of tequila every time she says “or whatever”.

  • @aa1903
    @aa1903 2 роки тому +16

    Omg my blood pressure is going up listening to this. She’s gas lighting her husband! This poor man. Like girl until you own up to and try to change and stop projecting on your husband, you will not and don’t deserve his trust. Poor guy he doesn’t deserve any of this. People truly ruin other people😓

  • @samuelstrachan2726
    @samuelstrachan2726 Рік тому +19

    3:55 Look at John's reacting to "He's like 'I want to work on our marriage' and I said 'ya me too blah blah blah'". Lol

    • @humansvd3269
      @humansvd3269 Рік тому +6

      She wasn't serious and she isn't serious now.

  • @shola7987
    @shola7987 2 роки тому +18

    "or whatever" sums it all up

  • @laserbeam-fx9qv
    @laserbeam-fx9qv 2 роки тому +32

    Trust is one of the easiest things to loose, yet one of the hardest to regain. A good place to start is telling the truth always and be transparent even when it would be more beneficial or advantages to lie even on the "small" stuff.

  • @BSCTrainerRob
    @BSCTrainerRob 2 роки тому +35

    Swear to God she sounded proud when she said 'it was my BOSS lel'

  • @tabithaedwards745
    @tabithaedwards745 Рік тому +14

    She seem's like a narc. She lacks empathy and understanding what a adult relationship looks like. She self centered and didn't want her husband until he wanted out. She's another woman that can't stand on her own. This is why marriage shouldn't be shoved down young people's throat. Live and be happy on your own first. Seriously you're a totally different person each decade.

  • @Cramp915
    @Cramp915 9 місяців тому +7

    This woman is the unbuttered toast of people.

  • @kellykennedy2228
    @kellykennedy2228 2 роки тому +72

    Shout out to Dr. John on this one. You can clearly see he was emotionally impacted with the whole call. You handled yourself with composure, I think any reasonable person was just cringing the whole time. What a true testament to your professionalism. Although calls like these can seem like "there's no way someone can possibly think this way" its the true reality of emotionally immature adults. But calls like these are important for this type of platform, just real, raw and unfilted.
    If you haven't picked up Children of Emotionally Immature Parents do it. My therapist recommended it and Dr John has recommended it. Life changer. Absolute LIFE CHANGER!
    Thank you for the content and real emotion. This is the type of content that shows how connected and enlightened videos on youtube can be

    • @claudiacanales2662
      @claudiacanales2662 2 роки тому +1

      All her laughing is so ridiculous! She thinks it’s a joke.

  • @rodrigosanroman5858
    @rodrigosanroman5858 2 роки тому +9

    Message for the husband: RUN! Don not stay! It will be the worst mistake of your life.

  • @residentevilfreakk55
    @residentevilfreakk55 2 роки тому +15

    I could tell from the second I heard her speak that she was a cheater

  • @skidderdriver548
    @skidderdriver548 2 роки тому +13

    Omg! Can you say "like" or whatever anymore 🤦‍♂️good god!!!
    Run man 🏃‍♂️!!!

  • @The.S.M.Evans.91
    @The.S.M.Evans.91 2 роки тому +25

    Sounds like she's just looking to keep her meal ticket as opposed to keeping her marriage.

    • @frogbox4184
      @frogbox4184 2 роки тому +3

      The crazy train has no brakes but the gravy train does!

    • @saundracohen4032
      @saundracohen4032 2 роки тому

      Meal ticket? She works.

  • @paulwilliams7700
    @paulwilliams7700 4 місяці тому +6

    I have heard multiple times that accountability is a womans kryptonite. Each of these calls prove that point even more. It does take two but these women seem not to understand that the men they are with are predators. They are well versed in finding the emotional weakness in them. If they cheat with you they will cheat on you.

    • @francisdashwood1760
      @francisdashwood1760 Місяць тому

      What...the men are predators...lol? Sounds like you're from the old school belief that men are bad and women are victims. It's not that these men are ''predators'', it's that women are attracted to them and allow them into their beds. If anything, women are the predators! They are the party who ultimately invite these men into their beds. The men merely said yes.

  • @Greybeardmedic
    @Greybeardmedic 4 місяці тому +5

    This is a double edged sword. The type of man that would forgive a woman that cheats is NOT the type of man that women are attracted to. If he forgives his wife, then she doubtless will lose attraction for him. This is why some types of marriage counseling is such a ridiculous idea, you cannot rebuild attraction for an individual through counseling.

  • @jet4415
    @jet4415 2 роки тому +11

    This woman is immature. The boss was ready to take advantage, though.

  • @jeffa964
    @jeffa964 2 роки тому +9

    She got “emotionally” involved with a coworker 😂😂

  • @jessicarose2548
    @jessicarose2548 2 роки тому +12

    To this lady, if you had come to me for advice, I would say that you need to stop making decisions based purely on emotions/feelings/what feels best now. Instead, strive to be a person of integrity who stands by her vows and commitment to her marriage relationship. Make integrity and commitment your #1 thing and everything else will fall into place. You will need accountability as you and your husband navigate through the next couple of years. Don't go by impulse. Go by what most honors your husband and benefits your marriage. I wish you the best.

  • @YaYa-ke1zr
    @YaYa-ke1zr Рік тому +10

    Nope… she doesn’t want to stay married to him. She might want to stay married for the stability (finances, emotional support, etc) but that’s it.
    She is frustrated that her husband doesn’t trust her. She missed the #1 rule: when you fck up, you can’t control how someone responds to your fck up. It might take him years to develop trust again. There’s nothing she can do to speed that up.

  • @ellencox8415
    @ellencox8415 2 роки тому +10

    "I do too blah blah blah." "How do I earn trust with him or whatever?" Wow... if you are reading this husband, you need to leave. She doesn't care about your feelings at all. What a completely unserious woman.

  • @candyluna2929
    @candyluna2929 2 роки тому +11

    Ppl think that coming clean with their mistake solves everything. DON'T MAKE IT and then DON'T DO IT EVER AGAIN.

    • @kpas22105
      @kpas22105 Рік тому +1

      I like how it is always a “mistake “ and not a series of decisions. They all talk like it just happened

  • @70s80sVintage
    @70s80sVintage 2 роки тому +13

    She’s a train wreck. I’d tell this guy to RUN!

  • @nurse.christian
    @nurse.christian 2 роки тому +24

    The giggling is beyond me. 🤔

    • @klopcodez
      @klopcodez 2 роки тому +7

      Right I bet she slept with the guy too she’s a nasty person..she’s not even honest the fact he couldn’t even have known what she did untill she got caught

  • @gogiants1227
    @gogiants1227 2 роки тому +8

    Leave her, “or whatever”

  • @seanfobbs7575
    @seanfobbs7575 2 роки тому +11

    First, cheaters never prosper!!

  • @texan903
    @texan903 2 роки тому +9

    Her husband needs to detach himself emotionally, physically, financially, encourage her to get a new job and file for a divorce. She'll not change, she isn't at all remorseful.

    • @nightfangs2910
      @nightfangs2910 2 роки тому +2

      Women are never remorseful about the affair just about getting caught

  • @ronanmaguire1015
    @ronanmaguire1015 Рік тому +6

    I love how she cheats with him and then when John asks them their ideal relationship. They want him to be honest.
    If your put the ring o then your accepting that they are the only one, It isn't a chocolate bar you eat and then throw it away

  • @Umph84
    @Umph84 2 роки тому +8

    It is absolutely painful hearing this woman beat around the bush and try to minimize her deceitful actions. My ears feel like they’re about to start bleeding.

  • @Bento_Club
    @Bento_Club 2 роки тому +21

    Alpha Male Strategies (AMS) needs to answer this.

  • @catdancerskaleidoscopeofbo8496
    @catdancerskaleidoscopeofbo8496 2 роки тому +5

    This woman does not want to be with this man, she is just like "whatever".

  • @elizagaskell7957
    @elizagaskell7957 11 місяців тому +3

    Her rug sweeping any issue is very telling that she does not like confrontation and is a people pleaser.

  • @ajf5324
    @ajf5324 Рік тому +5

    Man, she would be a nightmare to deal with!

  • @carlosvallejo8925
    @carlosvallejo8925 2 роки тому +32

    We all make mistakes. You can get his trust again only if he decides too. Learning to forgive is very important in a relationship. But also, this lady sounds like she needs to build more character..

    • @Crystalbomb321
      @Crystalbomb321 Рік тому +6

      Cheating isn't a mistake though. And character is something you either have or you don't. You can't start building character after you cheat lol!

    • @yootoob1001001
      @yootoob1001001 Рік тому

      @@Crystalbomb321 Cheating is a mistake. It's also a symptom of bigger problems with both people in a relationship, not the problem in and of itself.

    • @This-is-dumb-af
      @This-is-dumb-af Рік тому

      ⁠@@yootoob1001001 mistake? You sound dumb. It was a clear, calculated, concise choice to do what she did. You think having sex with someone other than your husband or wife is a mistake huh? Enlighten me how willfully deceiving someone on multiple levels and willfully having an emotional and physical relationship with someone other than your designated partner, is a mistake.

    • @user-ex3mx7hk4l
      @user-ex3mx7hk4l 9 місяців тому

      @@yootoob1001001Falling off your bike is a mistake - an unintentional oopsie. Unless your brain has been taken over by zombies, cheating is a conscious choice supported by multiple decisions made over time.

    • @demonvictim
      @demonvictim 3 місяці тому

      ​@yootoob1001001 cheating is more so a inside problem. If the other party is treating you 100% right and makes you feel like a princess you can still cheat. Some cheating is worse then others but unless you can say to your partner exactly what you need sex wise and they dont offer that sex wise cheating is a personal failing

  • @pandahugger3095
    @pandahugger3095 11 місяців тому +6

    I don’t think she’s being honest. I think she at least kissed this other guy. She’s not showing any empathy for him which is concerning.

  • @Mr.Rogers91
    @Mr.Rogers91 2 роки тому +15

    It wasn't a big deal to me..... proceeds to be so embarrassed she can't get the story out. She knows she's wrong it'll be okay you need to prove to him you're in it 1,000%.... in the end it may not work but you can certainly try.

  • @2hrsToChooseThis
    @2hrsToChooseThis 2 роки тому +8

    Alley Kats don’t make good house pets.

  • @audielowe2700
    @audielowe2700 4 місяці тому +2

    Trust and the relationship will never ever be the same, I know from experience

  • @AnusiaLA
    @AnusiaLA 2 роки тому +9

    I’m binge watching this show after separating with my lying husband. I’m never dating again.

    • @paulwilliams7700
      @paulwilliams7700 4 місяці тому +2

      Try to heal for yourself. He is a pos and likely never deserved or valued you. Plenty of good men out there but don't bring the pain forward.

    • @alaskahudson
      @alaskahudson 4 місяці тому

      @AnusiaLA, you will recover. And you will find a partner. Just keep your eyes open: people show you who they are by their actions.

    • @KevinRichardson444
      @KevinRichardson444 4 місяці тому +1

      I hope you're doing better.

    • @AnusiaLA
      @AnusiaLA 4 місяці тому +2

      @@alaskahudson I’m good now but still not interested in dating almost 2 years after I left. That marriage really did a number on me and I don’t want to lose my peace again.

    • @AnusiaLA
      @AnusiaLA 4 місяці тому +1

      @@KevinRichardson444 I am doing much better. Thank you

  • @jwise7777
    @jwise7777 2 роки тому +14

    Never got physical? BS

  • @shenni7158
    @shenni7158 2 роки тому +10

    I've been watching a few of these Dr. John cheating/affair videos and I noticed that he never explicitly says to the caller to "you need to search within yourself and find out why you cheated or what lead you to cheat". I'm not sure if there's a reason behind him not saying this but it's really important to know that there is always a reason someone cheats, cheating is a choice. Insecurity, boredom/lack of romance, lack of attention from partner, emotional abuse from partner, emotional distance/ grew apart etc. It's never a bad idea to speak with a marriage counsellor to identify those self issues to work on before marriage.

    • @user-ex3mx7hk4l
      @user-ex3mx7hk4l 9 місяців тому +2

      If cheaters want to solve the problem, they need to take accountability and look WITHIN instead of pointing their finger outward. No marriage is perfect so there’s always available excuses to cheat. The issue is with the cheater’s character.

    • @jackdeniston59
      @jackdeniston59 6 місяців тому +1

      He needs to say 'you are a POS person' Pay penance, then pay more penance, then check the penance is adequate, then look as to why.

    • @andrewtrotter9023
      @andrewtrotter9023 5 місяців тому

      That’s irrelevant and a waste of time. There is never an acceptable excuse or reason to cheat. Period.

    • @Ka_Gg
      @Ka_Gg 4 місяці тому +1

      He says that in different words though. Just because he doesn't say a specific phrase to a T doesn't mean he didn't convey the same message.
      "Grab that" and "pick that up" are 2 things that mean the same thing.
      You really think someone like this can just search within themselves and fix the issue? He mentioned getting help from outside which is needed.

  • @carleenshaw8167
    @carleenshaw8167 2 роки тому +2

    and, um, whatever - dinner conversation must be AMAZING with this woman - GEESH!

  • @dudemr
    @dudemr 2 роки тому +13

    Delony you have such a good heart.

    • @MrTmenzo
      @MrTmenzo 2 роки тому

      Hart as in the wal mart tool brand or heart?

    • @dudemr
      @dudemr 2 роки тому +3

      @@MrTmenzo hey look at that I just corrected. Hopefully that will make your day more meaningful. Have a good weekend.

  • @docb1844
    @docb1844 2 роки тому +16

    Seems flippant about the issue and dishonest w herself / lacking personal insight about the gravity of the consequences of her actions. .

  • @BraiytryeneGibbons
    @BraiytryeneGibbons 2 роки тому +12

    Husband should part ways . She seems toxic

    • @klopcodez
      @klopcodez 2 роки тому

      Yea notice she’s even laughing and only sorry when caught she’s not honest...this is crazy to me the fact that even 90% of more of military spouse cheat

  • @freecountry3544
    @freecountry3544 Рік тому +5

    Really.....just Don't have an affair....the minute you decide to go in that direction, you have risked loosing them. Why should you expect trust when your behaviour was weak and untrustworthy?

  • @TuBui2
    @TuBui2 2 роки тому +42

    This lady is a soup sandwich.

  • @lot2196
    @lot2196 2 роки тому +14

    "or whatever" Sigh.

  • @jordanl4805
    @jordanl4805 2 роки тому +15

    Good luck to her (hopefully) ex-husband

  • @midwifeohyeah22
    @midwifeohyeah22 2 роки тому +6

    I hope she gets the help she needs 🙏

  • @simplygina7703
    @simplygina7703 2 роки тому +10

    It sounds like they had pillow talk, which only happens after... ya know. It doesn’t seem like she was being honest, there were too many “um’s” and filler words indicating she’s stalling. I think it’s sad all around that people sleep with their bosses. It’s an abuse of power, but immoral on both sides.

  • @bretonvikanderakabret4468
    @bretonvikanderakabret4468 Рік тому +3

    “….or whatever.”
    Sums up her entire game.

  • @ragingryhino5817
    @ragingryhino5817 2 роки тому +4

    From a guy who's wife has cheated on him multiple times, this dude needs to run.

  • @AT-kt4wy
    @AT-kt4wy Рік тому +2

    Dr. John comes with “we’re not going to cheer things up are?” 🤣😂 I want my own show where I just give my own advice and give no fucks! This is *AWESOME*

  • @paulrandolph5483
    @paulrandolph5483 3 місяці тому

    Nice job Dr. Delony.