When she said they know what they’re doing to you, they just don’t care! You’re just there to be of service to them. That hit hard and I really felt that!!
Yes, it the crunchiing of the heart n soul, the dark night of the soul too...its what have keept me hurting, most about myself, and confused about how! how that was possible for her to stabb me in the back. All of our life dreams most apprecciated n d deared just eroded into nothingness, into oblivion....
You were truly describing my mother and unfortunately she has turned my two adult kids to be the same way as her in the three of them treat me like this I have gone no contact with my mother for 3 months my son has been out of my house for 2 years He only gaslight me when he need me then he discards me again and my 20-year-old daughter the same she still lives with me is to the point I'm ready for her to move out as well this is truly evil and manipulation that is finest I am truly thankful to find a video like this and bring some type of closure😢
@@frankdavf4599 My friend, if you think/believe They are the one that made you feel then you are still under their control, you're still wrapped up in their neverending inner darkness/delusions/misconceptions and you learned nothing. The truth is, you were loving YOURSELF the entire time you were interacting with them as they were doing nothing more than mirroring you, there is nobody inside them in the first place therefore there was nobody for you to love but yourself (as they themselves are incapable of true empathy/love). Unless you get over these massive hurdles and understand the bigger picture of Universal spiritual truths in your relationships then you will never be the truly empathic powerful loving being you truly are to love the world/universe and heal the world.
@@Ballpython77 My friend, if you think/believe They are the one that made you feel then you are still under their control, you're still wrapped up in their neverending inner darkness/delusions/misconceptions and you learned nothing. The truth is, you were loving YOURSELF the entire time you were interacting with them as they were doing nothing more than mirroring you, there is nobody inside them in the first place therefore there was nobody for you to love but yourself (as they themselves are incapable of true empathy/love). Unless you get over these massive hurdles and understand the bigger picture of Universal spiritual truths in your relationships then you will never be the truly empathic powerful loving being you truly are to love the world/universe and heal the world.
"The more you show them empathy, kindness, and love, that bothers them because they are incapable of those emotions". Ouch!! It's truly ultra sad to be them. 😢
Mine just changed his number the day of a date and blamed me bc he said i made his phone not work, but i hadnt seen him since august, wtf??? Pretty sure he’s done.
@@Indite_Biden he discarded you, so did my narc. That’s a blessing in disguise! Even if he is done who cares don’t stay with trash like that. You’ve been devalued and felt unworthy and unappreciated Ik what it’s like. Heal ur heart, take time to be alone & reflect. Restore ur boundaries and self worth. Take this time to ask yourself the tough questions and work on ur confidence. Everything is going to be ok, we just got to find balance and stability and be grounded in our lives again.
Reasons of Narc common Discard: 1.New supply 2.Just to test victim to get emotional reaction 3.Triangulate u with others esp other rivalry 4.To make self look like a victim of your crazy behavior 5.Silent treatment for punishing ur disobedience/disrespect or for future hoover Reasons of Narc Final discard: 1. Victim kept giving narc injuries their ego can't recover 2. Victim no longer plays narc games
#3 is interesting triangulate you with others especially with other rivalry. Do you mean ppl that you don’t get along with & they don’t get along with you? Because if that’s true then I see it everyday
Rather than admitting they did you wrong, they will do anything possible to justify their actions. Was in a relationship with one for 9 years. If you become aware of being in a relationship with one, plan your escape immediately ❤
12 yrs for me.. It's now 6 month of the end . just finally moved out 2 weeks ago court order of my own house. Crazy false accussations too. Anyway they do not care 1 oz about you
I wish I knew about narcissism the 1st 2 discards I would have never in my lifetime dealt with this kinda trauma it is the worst n I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy
They lack a sense of self , the require a "host" to immulate or mirror to have a sense of identity so the sooner you figure it out and exit the better . The longer you stay ," trying to fix them " the harder it will be to be rid of them later . They need your presence as a guide to remind them of who they were trying to be ,all the while making you out to be the abuser and them always the victim. Its truly sick and sad that they really don't know that they are an individual human being that needs to do some soul searching for themselves. I dont know if its possible but some do become aware of at least that one factor that they are aware .
My narc was an absolute nuclear bomb in my life. First they brought me the highest I've ever been, only to crash me the lowest I've ever been and while I still have not recovered, they have already moved on. They moved on way before they discarded me. It's sick.
@@nadzirahfarhah3423i wrote above, it’s up to each one of us what we decide. God gave us free will and for certain reasons. Everyone of us can change and can be saved from hell but we have to sincerely repent and decide to follow God. One hint, what we people usually call emotions (such as hatred when someone hurt us) is actually a decision to forgive…
Let me say peeps there’s only one discard… it’s when you finally had enough and you discard them! What discard means on the narcissist side is they put you on a shelf until they are ready to play with you again!
Their rules don't apply to them. And when they accuse you of things they are basically telling on themselves. They can only hold in the guilt for so long.
It is just easier to get rid of you and replace you than accepting accountability and their fault and mistake.. Golden words. Your videos are to the point.
I have studied narcissism for 10 years after a reverse discard from my ex,let me tell you in one video you have given the best and most descriptive talk on narcisist i have heard in 10 years.
Lived through this! The greatest distinguishing characteristic of the narcissist is “not caring” .. they hide that well! But once you see it, the game is over
I survived an extreme version of this. She lied enough to put me in jail for 4 days. Kept me from visiting my mother who was dying. And still, I studied the subject. Focused all of my attention on my own self improvement. And after 8 months, I'm completely free, healed, and better than ever. You can be free . You can heal.
Makes sense that he told me I was “punishing him” by not being “friends” after I finally said to not contact me… He actually felt ENTITLED to my friendship after treating me like crap!
They will discard you if you start to catch onto their deceit & lies or they have “gotten all they can from you”. They don’t always have a new supply waiting in the wings but they do immediately go fishing for a new supply which is quite easy with all the online sites for those who are searching.
The jerk knew l figured him out so he got worse. His flying monkey is his best friend egging him on. He is ruthless by himself but with his bf ...it just seems l am the villain. The secrets the lies were just too much. I thought l was having anxiety attacks but l was going through devaluation and gaslighting. I figured it out and leaving on my terms..Good luck guys not easy and very hurtful😢. God give us strength and protection from these SOULESS TREACHEROUS EMOTION-LESS VAMPIRES. 🧛♀️.
This was deep. I was totally into this video from beginning to end. You hit it out of the park. This brought back so many memories and such truth to how narc treated me for 16 years. I just couldn't put my finger on the behavior, but now was dismissed from my life 5 months ago. Fell for a catfisher who got all his disability money month after month. He left in pursuit of it and was stood up. Now he has a more realistic supply. Sad 62 yr o narc. Wanting 30 yr old or younger females or men😮
Yes my ex narc 61 couldn’t get a lot of supply here so went to the Phillipines to probably find someone and probably a younger hooker to bring here and also get his sick fantasies met. I think it’s laughable that they think these women are in love with them😂😂😂
Mine I was begging him to give a kid, he would refuse having sex with me and when I found it strange and sneaked on his emails and computer I was not ready to what I found Including payment for sex with transvestite, folder of other women with low self steem looking face, no pictures of me and an array of pictures of other men having sex, all sorts of porn subscription paid for when he would not allow me to pay to do my nails to save money to when we would have our kid, including a gay dating app subscription and on top of all every single time I tried to leave he would find a way to leave me with zero finance saying he had no money and maximizing my cc and my overdraft, now I am here broke and trying to leave so for me would be a dream if he would discard me... Beca I figured I have to run, but he does not know that I saw this so I can't tell him because he told me once he hates gay man, so I fear to tell him or he finds out I know, he would probably try to silence me😢
Its always linked to porn and perversion and them thinking they are Cassandra. It's brainwashing. It's end times. It's disgusting. Life wasting. Zero closure. Extreme abuse. They don't let u date. These are demons
He ended a 4 year relationship and I calmly walked away with no contact. He told everyone when we met he got a good one this time. I guess he made a mistake....lol I'm an empath so I never allowed him to manipulate or control me. I didn't allow myself to get too close or too involved with him. So when he ended the relationship I didn't react the way he expected. I later wrote him a letter and let him know he's a narcissist. He is now 72 years old so he is running out of options.
I saw all this happen during the first six months of marriage, then he turned everyone against me. But I’m blessed to have loved myself and stayed away after he discarded me.
I have watched hundreds of videos on narcissism. And I have subscribed to many UA-cam narcissist professionals. This is by far the best video I have ever listened to. Your articulation of the full narcissistic cycle and the break down of what is happening is phenomenal. This is exactly what I experienced with my ex boyfriend of five yrs. Right now he has found a new supply and he has gone silent. Which I'm grateful for. But like you mentioned this won't last forever. I feel a hoover coming on in the future. Thank you for helping me to better understand and to be prepared. This video is gold.
Yep much better than that doctor ramani or sam vaknin who are just farming algorithm for views. You could potentially watch days worth of content from them and still be confused. This is much better.
Brutally discarded by my husband of 12 years in May, Hes been shacked up with the secretary from his work since then. "His love of his life" 😂 I always mistaken his issues being alcohol, I didn't realize what he is truly until he threw me away like trash. He filed for divorce yet hes held the process up by Not doing the discovery paperwork. Such a painful mess. He fooled me good with the future faking. He said he was done with me then ghosted me,changed his number. During the devaluing, i had no idea wtf was happening, he used the silent treatment. So BRUTAL
It happened to me in June. This is not the first time, but it will be the last time. I now see before I was blind and believed in him. But his narcissic rage was unreal and was thrown like trash? No more. Never again.
Similar story with me. 12 yrs and this past may it ended .had to live together until this Nov 4th . pure evil these people are. No conscious no nothing but yelling and screaming, saying such disrespect and horrible words crazy
spot on we all got to know its not our fault. when you figure these devils they run back to exes and start treating you like sht..... its a everlasting games recycle , repeat. You will get tired and leave their sick azzez,,,,,,,
I recently calmly confronted my dad over the many times he’s threatened to disinherit me for non-compliance and was surprised when he completely DARVO’d me, denying he would EVER say such a terrible thing. (even though he just did, once again). Thank you for this valuable episode I just added to my saved list! ❤
My dad too. He even blamed me for stealing his car when I have never taken a dime from the man! When I broke up with my ex of 13 years and I had to couch surf on his couch, he told me fuck my privacy 🤬 I gave him a narc injury though because I told him to hell with the inheritance. What's left? This crumbling house? He spent all the old money left from my grandparents because he was lazy and didn't want to work 🤦♀️ Every job he ever landed was because his mama got it for him, or my mama (his new mama) got it for him! It is like night and day to see him for what he is now, from the stark contrast of projections my grandmother had made him out to be during my childhood 😢
15:01 this makes a lot of sense. It also makes sense that the new supply threaten him (in my opinion) so he was about to lose the new supply so he then discarded me. Example: day before discard he started acting really weird and very aggressive. He hates when I call him out. We updated our picture for my Facebook page, while we was at our daughters tball. I remember shortly after he left to get snacks and came back. Became very short and rude when before he was ok. The next day we was discarded. My opinion she saw the picture and thought he wasn’t as happy as he was so she gave him an ultimatum. The thing is I think she is a narcissist as well.
It hurt drastically for a few weeks. However, when you understand, the hurt feeling will dissipate. My emotions change periodically. However, more often now, I don't care. There are a lot of people in my life that really love me and want to be with me. I'm closing the door on the narc. Too much hurtful feelings. Serial liar and cheater. I pity the women who have crossed or will cross his path. Good riddens, I love me more.😮
I didn’t know anything about narcissistic cycles. He did the discard in 2020 in an abrupt and immature way. That night I had the idea I would write my story and actually told him I would write my story. I had no clue what would unfold after that. I self published in May 2022 now I am three years post separation and in the middle of DARVO. My next book is Deceptions and Illusions. Embroidered with Truth. It’s not over yet, I’m fighting for my life.
What a blessing this was to me! Nine months today since I left who I thought was the man of my dreams. He had one final explosive meltdown that showed who he really was and I left him. I knew in my head get out this man is a lunatic and a monster, even though I was devastated and cried the whole way home. He did me the biggest favour. I look back and see exactly what he did for 6 months. Now I know why I never got a hoover!! Thankyou this was the closure I needed, bless you. ❤
17:45 listen up y'all. Until 18:43, that's the real stuff right there in one minute. If you're feeling low because they're silent, that's it. Listen to it on repeat if you have to. Thank you for this video!
many thanks from germany. almost three yrs out of a 13yr manipulationship with a covert narc woman(i child together). still recovering, doing a lot of research and i wanna give compliments to this video. i can agree to everything said - without exception. one funny thing: when she had her rage attacks (with crocodile tears) which were completey inappropriate to the situation, she would claim that she is just "hypersensitive". Watch out guys, if you´re lovebombed in the beginning: BIG RED FLAG.
I’m being hovered heavily right now… his number is blocked but he’s messaged me on fb for the 5th time in 2 weeks. He’s the third person that’s love bombed me so I decided this time I was gonna be the one doing the discarding and not look back. Going no contact is so hard but you have to do it. On the last attempt to reach me I confronted him and told him I saw right through him. But he just tried to gas light me.. of course no accountability. He always made rude jokes and called me sensitive, he was extremely controlling. He’s got two baby mommas and now I realize he was devaluing me by triangulating me into thinking his exes were “crazy” boy bye ✌🏼
Good summary. I went through all this and got dumped in a flash, no idea what just hit me. I only figured it out afterward and told her friend what I'd discovered. I'm pretty sure that's why I never got hoovered. She knew I'd found her out.
Story time. I dated a narc woman. We were friends first. As friends all the signs were there about character but I chose to ignore. 1 month into dating she’s pregnant and I’m scared that I messed up baddd. Fast forward… baby at 6 months she leaves me. In the beginning she’s being cordial but soon starts ignoring calls to see my son. Tries at some point to get me to co sign an apartment for her , her mom, and grandma to move in. After I decide it’s not a good idea on my side last time she’s ever really let me see my son without push back. 2 years waiting and bending and adapting for an equal ground to be a co-parent. End result, I had to walk away from my now 3 year old son. For years she litterlly crushed my self worth. I’m no good. I’m a narc. I’m blah blah blah. And every interaction would drain me and leave me in a more depressed state. She turned my son into a weapon. I had to walk away. But in the end, the most painful hardest period of my life is Turing out to be the catalyst. I have been in the gym so consistent. I have stopped smoking and drinking. I save money and I’m focusing on the business I’ve always wanted to build even before I found my self in this mess. Pressure forms diamonds my friends. Use the pain. Transform it.
This was awesome and I listened to many experts! You nailed it! You summarized this disorder do simply n spot on!!! Thank you so much. I’m a year in healing. ❤ if you’re new to this subject BELIEVE THIS INFORMATION!!! Hard to wrap your head around but she nails it! Listen to this 20 times!!!
🤔 Everything you said is 💯 truth. My thiughts exactly! My Ex gave me a Tremendous gift by discarding me - that Was The best thing my Ex did for me! 😊😊. Poof, Pow, Begone 😂. The are very broken like the "Hunpty Dumpty" song.
This is so true after 30 years of a marriage that I gave more to get to the person I met in the beginning. I’m telling you all that this was my life and I’m out And I’m so much better for it. Thank you
Or they do say sorry but never change or they cry and make you feel sorry for them another form of manipulation you then feel like theyve humbled themselves and get it but they havent, they've just changed from overt to covert
Exactly my experience. It stopped when I left her for the second and final time. I’m no contact, I have peace. I’m single and have no desire for a relationship. She went back to her ex. I feel sorry for him.
Exactly!! I got the "you've changed" conversation once I started standing up for myself & not accepting her poor behaviour. The coldness descended over the relationship almost instantly; we sputtered on for another 6 mths before she booted me for trivial, unclear reasons. Frightened the crap out of her when I said: "OK, good luck," & walked on, didn't try to "get her back" - basically zero contact, & got on with my life. And waddya know? 6 wks later she calls, saying that she understands my point of view & misses me. And like a bloody fool, I fell for that first hoover. She did SEEM to have changed a bit, but it was only temporary while she could inject a new load of mind-control venom directly into my brain. After about 4 mths, it all started up again. When I stood up for myself again, that discard came MUCH faster than the first, like she knew I could see the "mask," & would never be able to unsee it. She tried a second hoover 4 mths later, but I ignored it. Now, nearly 3 yrs later, I'm getting weird calls on my mob ph, unknown number & when I answer it's silence - not an automatic hangup, but there's someone there not saying anything (I can hear them breathing), until I hang up. It's getting creepy ......
Thank you , im going through the same discarded 2 days ago i hope its my last , changed my number and planning to move please god, hope your doing better🙏 @@hellas_crater
This Is exactly what just happened to me three weeks ago. I always knew who I was dealing with. Inspite of that, I stayed 3 years, got engaged, etc. With the hope that God's love through me would transform him but it never did. So, I just got Fed up of His lies, deceit, etc and gave him an ultimatum and told him I was ready to move on without him. So I asked him if he was ready to end it. Of course, he never answered. Just Gone with the wind. Haven't heard from him since. It seems he even changed his number and Is gone from my WhatsApp but he didn't have the courage to just block me. So, yes. I am hurting but at the same time, after listening to your videos and others, I feel safe. I even left the country three months ago and came home. I wanted to break it off but he said no. I came here to get my thoughts and heart in place and remember who I am and where I come from. I am a daughter of the most high God and someday if so He pleases, I will finally meet true, God inspired love for me. All I do now Is pray for him. He and all narcisists need a love encounter with God.
I listened to this twice. It was that spot-on. Thanks for giving me some good terminology and describing this cycle to use for understanding my own traumatic experience with a friend. Luckily, my experience lasted only 8 months (other than the after-effects and healing) and I managed to avoid a few hoover attempts. Well done!
Narcissists are really disgusting people. Out of all the videos I've watched in regards to the unfortunate experience, this one is spot on. It's so spot in I'm pissed off and hurt all at the same time. People on the outside who've never gone through this judge unfairly. This experience once waking up was truly a living hell and worse nightmare all in one. Good luck to everyone out there. There is something greater after this.
Woww this deep I now feel complete about everything I finally can have closure for myself and feel at peace and continue to heal God first I love this woman for explaining correctly my ex discarded me in a Tex cause I found him lieing and patterns I gave him 7yrs all I kept asking for was time commitment he lied continuously saying he busy with work God showed him out he was shocked how easy I found him out saw him he ghosted me for days came back all I did was go silent even when he discarded me I went silent to this day it’s 2 mnts now I never looked back and he reached out once I still was silent so I guess he understood I’m done
I'm empressed, absolutely expressing explanation is so deep and truthful facts, thank you so much, we need a video about how to survive and deal with a narcissist, I'm stuck and i can't divorce my wife for the sake of the kids, I'm willing to sacrifice myself for them
I figured it out with my soon to be ex narc husband of 22 yrs the more you showed empathy, love , compassion, they got angry cause they're not able to give that to you, so they don't want you to give to them, that way it's makes it easier for them to devalue you
A good permanent narcissist injury was when I didn’t give a shit when he moved to same country as me 😊then ignored his friends trying to get in touch with me and relocated to another country again! His family in that new country also offered me a place to stay n I declined that offer. Major ego death that I wasn’t bothered to reach out or reconnect n forget like his other exes did . It was so painful for him that he proposed to the new supply and moved to her country to save face. N he’s already started slipping mask with her because he’s in this new country with no other options of supply n she’s his only source 😂
This is so healing for me. After he cane up behind me and threw ne across the room I called the cops and had him arrested. He told everyone how bad a person I am.
LOVED LOVED this video, sitting here laughing was married to an narcissist for 28yrs oh boy he put me through HELL, now divorced and live in PEACE, knowledge is POWER now see right through him and feel sorry for his countless women, he absolutely disgusts me, loving life now but wasn't easy but out the other side 🙏
Wow, this was word for word the exact same thing he did to me, now he turned everyone against me, I let him know I figured him out and now he hates me and made me the villian
I walked away and never looked back and I have never stopped getting hoovers; I ignore them. I am certain he has NPD. I honestly just don't believe he wants to give up. I really don't think he wants to believe I am truly done; delusional. I was the best thing that happened to him, and he knows it and I know it. I have been healing and loving myself so good. It's been 9 months. So, I just have to say that comment that you made is not completely true. When you door slam them, they actually do still hoover. I want nothing more than for him to stop sending me emails, because he's blocked everywhere. I will say all the rest of your information is really great though. This is one of the better videos I've heard. Just the one thing I don't agree with. I will say I do believe he's hoping that one day I let him back in so he can finish the job, but it 'ain't happenin'. Great stuff! God bless you!
You were the best thing for them, that’s why you got away. You will have a better life than they ever dreamed of, do not stop working on you and focusing on you. God bless you
I got Hoovered several times, what he didn’t know was I did my research. I am that constant reminder. Boy bye! Game over. I know my worth 2 yrs n.c. He has another victim now n looks like crap. I forgive him n moving 4ward 😇💪🏻💯
I Was A Victim. But I, I Repeat I Put An End To It. My God Finally Told Me To Put An End To It Bye Going To Her Dad And Finally I Pray He Will Get It Done If Not I Will Play My Last Card. Like Her Dad Said.
I told my ex narc that I would pray for any woman that gets caught in his web, because of his fake persona and that he would always physically, verbally and mentally abuse every woman and that he would never be faithful to anyone...Then I said Happy Whoring lol I told him do not ever try to contact me again..
Girl you’re one of the few people talking about this topic that is real and true and knows what they’re talking about. Great and fantastic video I watched it a few times. Thank you
My husband is doing all those things to me I feel like he wants to drive me crazy I so tired of I don’t know how to get out I’m so depressed and have anxiety and my self esteem is so low💔💔💔😭😭😭
Thank you for putting everything into perspective. You said everything I needed to hear. For me, the emotional pain has stopped and I've discarded everything, blocked, deleted photos, I stopped looking at their social media. I believe I am healed but my #1 problem is, I can't get this person out of my mind. I don't understand it.
That's my Ex right there The devaluation stage started after I had been out of town for two days and she learned I got beat up by some guy in a bar. Her reaction was: "I starting to feel like when I was with my ex who cheated on me 10 times" which also, that guy... Was still writing to her... and I didn't see that redflag
You explained this with such insight and expertise..Thank you for all you are doing to educate people about NPD behaviour. I am in the post discard phase and am doing so much better. We still see each other sometimes at church and talk from time to time but everything has changed. He knows (enough) that I know; and I gave him the "hey sweety" talk. That was tough, but necessary -- also liberating. It was tough because they are very manipulative and saavy; and because I am also still recovering from ptsd from other narcissists (which he knew and weaponized against me). He wrote me a letter a month later and never ever once mentioned an apology but rather he made it seem like he was done with me -- flipped the narrative for sure. He was making himself out to be a victim for sure. The image playing for your post is also so accurate to illustrate a narcissist's world! So sad and scary ... and empaths have a tendency to want to help them ...but it is so dangerous and isolating ... like the image implies. Please make another video!
Narcissists care about nothing more than how they are perceived. My narc discarded me like, almost literally threw me out like trash. He was enmeshed where I work because he came here for treatments. After we broke up we "tried" being "friends" (where he was trying to insist on a relationship/nonrelationship/open relationship without emotions) i told him he shouldnt come to my work for treatments anymore especially not with the acupuncturist because everyone hated him for what he did to me - you shouldnt get poked by needles by someone that hates you Literally he could not understand what he did wrong and accused me of bad mouthing him, was genuinely flabbergasted and upset that MY COWORKERS saw him negatively??? After he treated me like garbage?? The delulu is so deep with them... I told him i didnt have to make anything up all i did was say you left me and this is how. Thats enough for any sane person.
My ex and her father tried to blame everything on me for my ex having an affair and I was bringing her down.. Then had the nerve to invite me to Christmas... Like wtf, No.... I'm out ✌️
Your not kidding about those cycles. It took me 3 of them to figure it out each one worse. Talk about a downward spiral 😳 but the good news is I got out and am much happier living the best I can. I really want and have a lot to share but not with one of those people.
Wow! This was the most concise video on this topic. I truly dodged a bullet last week. He abruptly left, after the stupidest situation, because I wasn’t going along with him. Like you said, I was continually talking with him, about things he did, or said, and would do “the DARVO”on me. It was a great two year long-distance relationship, but I will be moving to the same city he lives, only to be close to my daughters. I was beginning to feel it wouldn’t last, or maybe he didn’t want to, because I would be there seeing what was going on with him there, or he needed a new supply. Either way, I have just exhaled. Thank you for opening my eyes, in such a different way, accepting I need no explanation, because he may never, accept what his brokenness. It’s just sad, because he’s a good man, in so many other ways. C’est la vie!
Thank you for this video, it was as informative as it was uplifting. I feel less vengeful for hearing your reasoning for the final discard, and I have to admit I did consider the fact that I had just about figured her out when she suddenly cut the cord. She ticks most of the boxes for covert narcissism. However the one area that never seemed to apply was how narcs try to play the victim and create a slur campaign. My ex compartmentalised everyone and pretty much kept me out of the rest of her life. So there weren’t any real mutual friends with whom she might spread viscous rumours to, or play the victim in front of. However I think her ex husband fell victim to the slur campaign. Over 25 years she came and went, firstly on and off for 8 years, then I went no contact pretty much for 10 years, after which she reached out to me again and resumed the cycle for another 6-7 years. At no point we’re we ever officially together. She managed to keep me at a distance and relatively hidden from all who knew her. The second time around she was separating from her first husband and triangulated her arse off and keeping me as a secret affair until she finally got the divorce, by which time I was fast figuring her out and since she’d lost her best excuse for not letting our relationship progress that was the perfect time for her to begging the final discard. I tried entertaining every other possible reason for the cycle of toxic treatment I got from my ex but there is simply too much evidence pointing to narcissistic abuse. I discovered avoidant attachment first when I was researching this pattern of withdrawal that I’d begun to identify in her where she’d pretty much go no contact for anywhere between 2 weeks to 2 months, apart from text messaging, and even then she she would try and shut me down by selectively ignoring certain messages that might lead to engaging and intimate conversation. I was convinced she was trying to force me down a road where the only material I could work with would make me appear boring. That was just silent treatment. It was so different from my mother’s type of silent treatment, so I never picked up on it before the relationship was slowly brought to and end by suffocation. I was aware of the way she treated her ex husband in the latter years, but had believed him to be the problem for so long. Now I feel a strange connection to him. I now realise that the treatment I had received had already been used on him a few years earlier. If only I’d spotted the signs earlier on.
I was discard by my grandbabies adopted narcissist parent. My daughter was murdered. I ask to see the adoption papers and she said that I had already seen them. I called her out on it and she blocked me. My grandbabies are my life. I have not seen them in over a year. They have no empathy. I miss my grandbabies so much.
After I walked away from him after the verbal attack on me. I had enough. He send me a link to a short vid entitled “men who leave have the most power” 😮 I just thought “ what an idiot” of course I didn’t respond - I just ignored, like I wish I did many years ago 😂 They are so delusional.
When she said they know what they’re doing to you, they just don’t care! You’re just there to be of service to them. That hit hard and I really felt that!!
Yes, it the crunchiing of the heart n soul, the dark night of the soul too...its what have keept me hurting, most about myself, and confused about how! how that was possible for her to stabb me in the back. All of our life dreams most apprecciated n d deared just eroded into nothingness, into oblivion....
15 years with my wife knowing she never loved me, it's a mindfuck
You were truly describing my mother and unfortunately she has turned my two adult kids to be the same way as her in the three of them treat me like this I have gone no contact with my mother for 3 months my son has been out of my house for 2 years He only gaslight me when he need me then he discards me again and my 20-year-old daughter the same she still lives with me is to the point I'm ready for her to move out as well this is truly evil and manipulation that is finest I am truly thankful to find a video like this and bring some type of closure😢
@@frankdavf4599 My friend, if you think/believe They are the one that made you feel then you are still under their control, you're still wrapped up in their neverending inner darkness/delusions/misconceptions and you learned nothing. The truth is, you were loving YOURSELF the entire time you were interacting with them as they were doing nothing more than mirroring you, there is nobody inside them in the first place therefore there was nobody for you to love but yourself (as they themselves are incapable of true empathy/love). Unless you get over these massive hurdles and understand the bigger picture of Universal spiritual truths in your relationships then you will never be the truly empathic powerful loving being you truly are to love the world/universe and heal the world.
@@Ballpython77 My friend, if you think/believe They are the one that made you feel then you are still under their control, you're still wrapped up in their neverending inner darkness/delusions/misconceptions and you learned nothing. The truth is, you were loving YOURSELF the entire time you were interacting with them as they were doing nothing more than mirroring you, there is nobody inside them in the first place therefore there was nobody for you to love but yourself (as they themselves are incapable of true empathy/love). Unless you get over these massive hurdles and understand the bigger picture of Universal spiritual truths in your relationships then you will never be the truly empathic powerful loving being you truly are to love the world/universe and heal the world.
"The more you show them empathy, kindness, and love, that bothers them because they are incapable of those emotions". Ouch!! It's truly ultra sad to be them. 😢
Congratulations if you have been permanently discarded! It’s the best thing.
" When you think everything is someone else's fault, you will suffer a lot. " - Dalai Lama ;- )
They are never done with you unless you are done with them
Mine just changed his number the day of a date and blamed me bc he said i made his phone not work, but i hadnt seen him since august, wtf??? Pretty sure he’s done.
@@Indite_Biden he discarded you, so did my narc. That’s a blessing in disguise! Even if he is done who cares don’t stay with trash like that. You’ve been devalued and felt unworthy and unappreciated Ik what it’s like. Heal ur heart, take time to be alone & reflect. Restore ur boundaries and self worth. Take this time to ask yourself the tough questions and work on ur confidence. Everything is going to be ok, we just got to find balance and stability and be grounded in our lives again.
Reasons of Narc common Discard:
1.New supply
2.Just to test victim to get emotional reaction
3.Triangulate u with others esp other rivalry
4.To make self look like a victim of your crazy behavior
5.Silent treatment for punishing ur disobedience/disrespect or for future hoover
Reasons of Narc Final discard:
1. Victim kept giving narc injuries their ego can't recover
2. Victim no longer plays narc games
I'm looking for that final discard. Let's just say I gave him quite a few narcissistic injuries
Facts
#3 is interesting triangulate you with others especially with other rivalry. Do you mean ppl that you don’t get along with & they don’t get along with you? Because if that’s true then I see it everyday
I got a final discard 😅
Rather than admitting they did you wrong, they will do anything possible to justify their actions. Was in a relationship with one for 9 years. If you become aware of being in a relationship with one, plan your escape immediately ❤
They operate from their shadow side!
12 yrs for me.. It's now 6 month of the end . just finally moved out 2 weeks ago court order of my own house. Crazy false accussations too. Anyway they do not care 1 oz about you
I wish I knew about narcissism the 1st 2 discards I would have never in my lifetime dealt with this kinda trauma it is the worst n I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy
They lack a sense of self , the require a "host" to immulate or mirror to have a sense of identity so the sooner you figure it out and exit the better . The longer you stay ," trying to fix them " the harder it will be to be rid of them later . They need your presence as a guide to remind them of who they were trying to be ,all the while making you out to be the abuser and them always the victim. Its truly sick and sad that they really don't know that they are an individual human being that needs to do some soul searching for themselves. I dont know if its possible but some do become aware of at least that one factor that they are aware .
They want to become you. It's like Ed Gein wearing skin masks!! They want you to not exist!
My narc was an absolute nuclear bomb in my life. First they brought me the highest I've ever been, only to crash me the lowest I've ever been and while I still have not recovered, they have already moved on.
They moved on way before they discarded me. It's sick.
These people are literally under the influence of evil. Let God help them!
Not even God can help these people. All they know is operating from the shadow side.
I think you are confusing two things. God can help anyone in any situation but he gave us free will so it’s up to us if we wish to be saved.
Exactly. How to pull them out?? Are they bound for hell for eternity??
@@nadzirahfarhah3423i wrote above, it’s up to each one of us what we decide. God gave us free will and for certain reasons. Everyone of us can change and can be saved from hell but we have to sincerely repent and decide to follow God. One hint, what we people usually call emotions (such as hatred when someone hurt us) is actually a decision to forgive…
Let me say peeps there’s only one discard… it’s when you finally had enough and you discard them! What discard means on the narcissist side is they put you on a shelf until they are ready to play with you again!
What I've noticed is that these people are not introspective, and they do not like accountability
All they do is lie & hide like scary cowards
Their rules don't apply to them. And when they accuse you of things they are basically telling on themselves. They can only hold in the guilt for so long.
It is just easier to get rid of you and replace you than accepting accountability and their fault and mistake.. Golden words.
Your videos are to the point.
I have studied narcissism for 10 years after a reverse discard from my ex,let me tell you in one video you have given the best and most descriptive talk on narcisist i have heard in 10 years.
NPD is a serious matter in this world today. It needs to be taught in or schools etc.
Lived through this! The greatest distinguishing characteristic of the narcissist is “not caring” ..
they hide that well! But once you see it, the game is over
Yep
I survived an extreme version of this. She lied enough to put me in jail for 4 days. Kept me from visiting my mother who was dying. And still, I studied the subject. Focused all of my attention on my own self improvement. And after 8 months, I'm completely free, healed, and better than ever. You can be free . You can heal.
Congratulations 🎉 Well done 🙏🏽🩵🌸
God bless you man you will have a much better life without them!
OMG, I was taken away by police too 😢 wake up call and then I discovered he was a narc. Five months on and I am out of the matrix
Thank you so much cause at thus point I feel like healing is non existence
Makes sense that he told me I was “punishing him” by not being “friends” after I finally said to not contact me…
He actually felt ENTITLED to my friendship after treating me like crap!
Great example! Thanks for sharing 😊
Sounds like my narc
To that I’d say to them “how does it feel to be punished? Just like how you do”
😢
YOU MA'AM HAVE OPENED UP MY EYES....YOU WOULDNT BELIEVE THE STORIES I COULD TELL YOU!TYVM!
Me either literally tried kill me
They will discard you if you start to catch onto their deceit & lies or they have “gotten all they can from you”. They don’t always have a new supply waiting in the wings but they do immediately go fishing for a new supply which is quite easy with all the online sites for those who are searching.
The jerk knew l figured him out so he got worse. His flying monkey is his best friend egging him on. He is ruthless by himself but with his bf ...it just seems l am the villain. The secrets the lies were just too much. I thought l was having anxiety attacks but l was going through devaluation and gaslighting. I figured it out and leaving on my terms..Good luck guys not easy and very hurtful😢. God give us strength and protection from these SOULESS TREACHEROUS EMOTION-LESS VAMPIRES. 🧛♀️.
This was deep. I was totally into this video from beginning to end. You hit it out of the park. This brought back so many memories and such truth to how narc treated me for 16 years. I just couldn't put my finger on the behavior, but now was dismissed from my life 5 months ago. Fell for a catfisher who got all his disability money month after month. He left in pursuit of it and was stood up. Now he has a more realistic supply. Sad 62 yr o narc. Wanting 30 yr old or younger females or men😮
Yes my ex narc 61 couldn’t get a lot of supply here so went to the Phillipines to probably find someone and probably a younger hooker to bring here and also get his sick fantasies met. I think it’s laughable that they think these women are in love with them😂😂😂
Mine I was begging him to give a kid, he would refuse having sex with me and when I found it strange and sneaked on his emails and computer I was not ready to what I found Including payment for sex with transvestite, folder of other women with low self steem looking face, no pictures of me and an array of pictures of other men having sex, all sorts of porn subscription paid for when he would not allow me to pay to do my nails to save money to when we would have our kid, including a gay dating app subscription and on top of all every single time I tried to leave he would find a way to leave me with zero finance saying he had no money and maximizing my cc and my overdraft, now I am here broke and trying to leave so for me would be a dream if he would discard me... Beca I figured I have to run, but he does not know that I saw this so I can't tell him because he told me once he hates gay man, so I fear to tell him or he finds out I know, he would probably try to silence me😢
Same exact
Its always linked to porn and perversion and them thinking they are Cassandra. It's brainwashing. It's end times. It's disgusting. Life wasting. Zero closure. Extreme abuse. They don't let u date. These are demons
@@menikersantos236yeah you keep that to yourself for your sake
That's definitely him! The blame shifting drives me crazy the most!
He ended a 4 year relationship and I calmly walked away with no contact. He told everyone when we met he got a good one this time. I guess he made a mistake....lol
I'm an empath so I never allowed him to manipulate or control me. I didn't allow myself to get too close or too involved with him. So when he ended the relationship I didn't react the way he expected. I later wrote him a letter and let him know he's a narcissist.
He is now 72 years old so he is running out of options.
There are so many aha moments in this video. Thank you!
I saw all this happen during the first six months of marriage, then he turned everyone against me. But I’m blessed to have loved myself and stayed away after he discarded me.
I have watched hundreds of videos on narcissism. And I have subscribed to many UA-cam narcissist professionals. This is by far the best video I have ever listened to. Your articulation of the full narcissistic cycle and the break down of what is happening is phenomenal. This is exactly what I experienced with my ex boyfriend of five yrs. Right now he has found a new supply and he has gone silent. Which I'm grateful for. But like you mentioned this won't last forever. I feel a hoover coming on in the future. Thank you for helping me to better understand and to be prepared. This video is gold.
Yep much better than that doctor ramani or sam vaknin who are just farming algorithm for views. You could potentially watch days worth of content from them and still be confused. This is much better.
Yes I'm with you I've watched hundreds and I believe this is one of the best
I think the more we learn the more we “can” understand! This was a killer to wrap my head around!!!
I've been munching on this popcorn for a while now 😂
They operate from their shadow side every day all day 24-7
Just put an end to years of suffering. This video encapsulates the experience perfectly. Thank you for shining light!
💥 devalue, then discard, then it’s your fault, they r the victim…and friends take sides.
You put a lot of effort into the video and covered all the basics. It’s a perfect overview of how these fake relationships unfold.
Brutally discarded by my husband of 12 years in May, Hes been shacked up with the secretary from his work since then. "His love of his life" 😂 I always mistaken his issues being alcohol, I didn't realize what he is truly until he threw me away like trash. He filed for divorce yet hes held the process up by Not doing the discovery paperwork. Such a painful mess. He fooled me good with the future faking.
He said he was done with me then ghosted me,changed his number. During the devaluing, i had no idea wtf was happening, he used the silent treatment. So BRUTAL
It happened to me in June. This is not the first time, but it will be the last time. I now see before I was blind and believed in him. But his narcissic rage was unreal and was thrown like trash? No more. Never again.
@renatelewis538 I now see what my husband is too, so mind bending
Now that you learn the truth you're halfway to healing
Best
@@SusanSummer ty♥️🙏
Similar story with me. 12 yrs and this past may it ended .had to live together until this Nov 4th . pure evil these people are. No conscious no nothing but yelling and screaming, saying such disrespect and horrible words crazy
spot on we all got to know its not our fault. when you figure these devils they run back to exes and start treating you like sht.....
its a everlasting games recycle , repeat. You will get tired and leave their sick azzez,,,,,,,
I recently calmly confronted my dad over the many times he’s threatened to disinherit me for non-compliance and was surprised when he completely DARVO’d me, denying he would EVER say such a terrible thing. (even though he just did, once again). Thank you for this valuable episode I just added to my saved list! ❤
My dad too. He even blamed me for stealing his car when I have never taken a dime from the man! When I broke up with my ex of 13 years and I had to couch surf on his couch, he told me fuck my privacy 🤬 I gave him a narc injury though because I told him to hell with the inheritance. What's left? This crumbling house? He spent all the old money left from my grandparents because he was lazy and didn't want to work 🤦♀️ Every job he ever landed was because his mama got it for him, or my mama (his new mama) got it for him! It is like night and day to see him for what he is now, from the stark contrast of projections my grandmother had made him out to be during my childhood 😢
15:01 this makes a lot of sense. It also makes sense that the new supply threaten him (in my opinion) so he was about to lose the new supply so he then discarded me.
Example: day before discard he started acting really weird and very aggressive. He hates when I call him out. We updated our
picture for my Facebook page, while we was at our daughters tball. I remember shortly after he left to get snacks and came back. Became very short and rude when before he was ok. The next day we was discarded.
My opinion she saw the picture and thought he wasn’t as happy as he was so she gave him an ultimatum. The thing is I think she is a narcissist as well.
Great example. Thank you for sharing.
NEVER let them know you know
Just ghost them
I was discarded because he told me I was a liar
I never responded NC forever
It hurt drastically for a few weeks. However, when you understand, the hurt feeling will dissipate. My emotions change periodically. However, more often now, I don't care. There are a lot of people in my life that really love me and want to be with me. I'm closing the door on the narc. Too much hurtful feelings. Serial liar and cheater. I pity the women who have crossed or will cross his path. Good riddens, I love me more.😮
I didn’t know anything about narcissistic cycles. He did the discard in 2020 in an abrupt and immature way. That night I had the idea I would write my story and actually told him I would write my story.
I had no clue what would unfold after that. I self published in May 2022 now I am three years post separation and in the middle of DARVO. My next book is Deceptions and Illusions. Embroidered with Truth.
It’s not over yet, I’m fighting for my life.
I am in the light bulb stage. 😳 And yes, I completely see the cycle. It's like watching a train wreck. 🍿
What a blessing this was to me! Nine months today since I left who I thought was the man of my dreams. He had one final explosive meltdown that showed who he really was and I left him. I knew in my head get out this man is a lunatic and a monster, even though I was devastated and cried the whole way home. He did me the biggest favour. I look back and see exactly what he did for 6 months. Now I know why I never got a hoover!! Thankyou this was the closure I needed, bless you. ❤
Holy crap! This was 100% spot on!!! I was thinking my girl had undiagnosed BPD, but now I see the truth. Again, I’ll say it, Holy Crap!!!!
17:45 listen up y'all. Until 18:43, that's the real stuff right there in one minute. If you're feeling low because they're silent, that's it. Listen to it on repeat if you have to. Thank you for this video!
many thanks from germany. almost three yrs out of a 13yr manipulationship with a covert narc woman(i child together). still recovering, doing a lot of research and i wanna give compliments to this video. i can agree to everything said - without exception. one funny thing: when she had her rage attacks (with crocodile tears) which were completey inappropriate to the situation, she would claim that she is just "hypersensitive". Watch out guys, if you´re lovebombed in the beginning: BIG RED FLAG.
The perfect analysis of narcissistic abuse. 💯🙏❤️
I lived a nightmare and I'm now looking from the outside and I'm educating myself on this subject. This video was very helpful thank you 🙏
I’m being hovered heavily right now… his number is blocked but he’s messaged me on fb for the 5th time in 2 weeks. He’s the third person that’s love bombed me so I decided this time I was gonna be the one doing the discarding and not look back. Going no contact is so hard but you have to do it. On the last attempt to reach me I confronted him and told him I saw right through him. But he just tried to gas light me.. of course no accountability. He always made rude jokes and called me sensitive, he was extremely controlling. He’s got two baby mommas and now I realize he was devaluing me by triangulating me into thinking his exes were “crazy” boy bye ✌🏼
Good summary. I went through all this and got dumped in a flash, no idea what just hit me. I only figured it out afterward and told her friend what I'd discovered. I'm pretty sure that's why I never got hoovered. She knew I'd found her out.
You're content is amazing. So many lightbulbs went on over my head it was like a line of Christmas lights.
Story time. I dated a narc woman. We were friends first. As friends all the signs were there about character but I chose to ignore. 1 month into dating she’s pregnant and I’m scared that I messed up baddd. Fast forward… baby at 6 months she leaves me. In the beginning she’s being cordial but soon starts ignoring calls to see my son. Tries at some point to get me to co sign an apartment for her , her mom, and grandma to move in. After I decide it’s not a good idea on my side last time she’s ever really let me see my son without push back. 2 years waiting and bending and adapting for an equal ground to be a co-parent. End result, I had to walk away from my now 3 year old son.
For years she litterlly crushed my self worth. I’m no good. I’m a narc. I’m blah blah blah. And every interaction would drain me and leave me in a more depressed state. She turned my son into a weapon.
I had to walk away. But in the end, the most painful hardest period of my life is Turing out to be the catalyst. I have been in the gym so consistent. I have stopped smoking and drinking. I save money and I’m focusing on the business I’ve always wanted to build even before I found my self in this mess.
Pressure forms diamonds my friends. Use the pain. Transform it.
God bless you man you can do this
This was awesome and I listened to many experts! You nailed it! You summarized this disorder do simply n spot on!!! Thank you so much. I’m a year in healing. ❤ if you’re new to this subject BELIEVE THIS INFORMATION!!! Hard to wrap your head around but she nails it! Listen to this 20 times!!!
🤔 Everything you said is 💯 truth. My thiughts exactly!
My Ex gave me a Tremendous gift by discarding me - that Was The best thing my Ex did for me! 😊😊. Poof, Pow, Begone 😂. The are very broken like the "Hunpty Dumpty" song.
This is so true after 30 years of a marriage that I gave more to get to the person I met in the beginning. I’m telling you all that this was my life and I’m out And I’m so much better for it. Thank you
30 years!!!! Wow!
This is all so terrible. Especially because I really loved them.
Or they do say sorry but never change or they cry and make you feel sorry for them another form of manipulation you then feel like theyve humbled themselves and get it but they havent, they've just changed from overt to covert
Exactly my experience. It stopped when I left her for the second and final time.
I’m no contact, I have peace. I’m single and have no desire for a relationship.
She went back to her ex. I feel sorry for him.
I recommend everyone to hear this! Amazing insight
They say “you’ve changed” at the start of the discard in order to start blaming you. I never changed.😂 I literally said after “ what just happened.”
Exactly!! I got the "you've changed" conversation once I started standing up for myself & not accepting her poor behaviour. The coldness descended over the relationship almost instantly; we sputtered on for another 6 mths before she booted me for trivial, unclear reasons. Frightened the crap out of her when I said: "OK, good luck," & walked on, didn't try to "get her back" - basically zero contact, & got on with my life. And waddya know? 6 wks later she calls, saying that she understands my point of view & misses me. And like a bloody fool, I fell for that first hoover. She did SEEM to have changed a bit, but it was only temporary while she could inject a new load of mind-control venom directly into my brain. After about 4 mths, it all started up again. When I stood up for myself again, that discard came MUCH faster than the first, like she knew I could see the "mask," & would never be able to unsee it. She tried a second hoover 4 mths later, but I ignored it. Now, nearly 3 yrs later, I'm getting weird calls on my mob ph, unknown number & when I answer it's silence - not an automatic hangup, but there's someone there not saying anything (I can hear them breathing), until I hang up. It's getting creepy ......
Thank you , im going through the same discarded 2 days ago i hope its my last , changed my number and planning to move please god, hope your doing better🙏 @@hellas_crater
One time when it got heated i was calm and once i actually got mad she smirked and commented it was about time she got something out of me smh.
This Is exactly what just happened to me three weeks ago. I always knew who I was dealing with. Inspite of that, I stayed 3 years, got engaged, etc. With the hope that God's love through me would transform him but it never did. So, I just got Fed up of His lies, deceit, etc and gave him an ultimatum and told him I was ready to move on without him. So I asked him if he was ready to end it. Of course, he never answered. Just Gone with the wind. Haven't heard from him since. It seems he even changed his number and Is gone from my WhatsApp but he didn't have the courage to just block me. So, yes. I am hurting but at the same time, after listening to your videos and others, I feel safe. I even left the country three months ago and came home. I wanted to break it off but he said no. I came here to get my thoughts and heart in place and remember who I am and where I come from. I am a daughter of the most high God and someday if so He pleases, I will finally meet true, God inspired love for me.
All I do now Is pray for him. He and all narcisists need a love encounter with God.
I listened to this twice. It was that spot-on. Thanks for giving me some good terminology and describing this cycle to use for understanding my own traumatic experience with a friend. Luckily, my experience lasted only 8 months (other than the after-effects and healing) and I managed to avoid a few hoover attempts. Well done!
🙏Appreciate the sharing of these painful truths. Awareness of these behaviours can save a life
Narcissists are really disgusting people. Out of all the videos I've watched in regards to the unfortunate experience, this one is spot on. It's so spot in I'm pissed off and hurt all at the same time. People on the outside who've never gone through this judge unfairly. This experience once waking up was truly a living hell and worse nightmare all in one. Good luck to everyone out there. There is something greater after this.
Woww this deep I now feel complete about everything I finally can have closure for myself and feel at peace and continue to heal God first I love this woman for explaining correctly my ex discarded me in a Tex cause I found him lieing and patterns I gave him 7yrs all I kept asking for was time commitment he lied continuously saying he busy with work God showed him out he was shocked how easy I found him out saw him he ghosted me for days came back all I did was go silent even when he discarded me I went silent to this day it’s 2 mnts now I never looked back and he reached out once I still was silent so I guess he understood I’m done
I'm empressed, absolutely expressing explanation is so deep and truthful facts, thank you so much, we need a video about how to survive and deal with a narcissist, I'm stuck and i can't divorce my wife for the sake of the kids, I'm willing to sacrifice myself for them
You can do this, please have back up and make it a mutual group setting so you can be able to reverse discard
You drop words that have the ring of truth…
😢🥺wow …. Sadly I just experienced this recently, so unfortunately I can say u are 💯 correct!!!! It’s honestly sad that these kind of people exist.
I figured it out with my soon to be ex narc husband of 22 yrs the more you showed empathy, love , compassion, they got angry cause they're not able to give that to you, so they don't want you to give to them, that way it's makes it easier for them to devalue you
A good permanent narcissist injury was when I didn’t give a shit when he moved to same country as me 😊then ignored his friends trying to get in touch with me and relocated to another country again! His family in that new country also offered me a place to stay n I declined that offer. Major ego death that I wasn’t bothered to reach out or reconnect n forget like his other exes did . It was so painful for him that he proposed to the new supply and moved to her country to save face. N he’s already started slipping mask with her because he’s in this new country with no other options of supply n she’s his only source 😂
This is so healing for me. After he cane up behind me and threw ne across the room I called the cops and had him arrested. He told everyone how bad a person I am.
This is a fantastic video ❤ I could not recommended more to victims of narcissistic abuse
Perfect explanation and breakdown of exactly what I went through. I mean exactly. Lol
absolutely and exactly NARCISSIST did to me and how i felt……😢
I won't lie I have watched 100's of videos since may but this by far makes so much sense to me very dead on
LOVED LOVED this video, sitting here laughing was married to an narcissist for 28yrs oh boy he put me through HELL, now divorced and live in PEACE, knowledge is POWER now see right through him and feel sorry for his countless women, he absolutely disgusts me, loving life now but wasn't easy but out the other side 🙏
Wow, this was word for word the exact same thing he did to me, now he turned everyone against me, I let him know I figured him out and now he hates me and made me the villian
I walked away and never looked back and I have never stopped getting hoovers; I ignore them. I am certain he has NPD. I honestly just don't believe he wants to give up. I really don't think he wants to believe I am truly done; delusional. I was the best thing that happened to him, and he knows it and I know it. I have been healing and loving myself so good. It's been 9 months. So, I just have to say that comment that you made is not completely true. When you door slam them, they actually do still hoover. I want nothing more than for him to stop sending me emails, because he's blocked everywhere. I will say all the rest of your information is really great though. This is one of the better videos I've heard. Just the one thing I don't agree with. I will say I do believe he's hoping that one day I let him back in so he can finish the job, but it 'ain't happenin'.
Great stuff! God bless you!
You were the best thing for them, that’s why you got away. You will have a better life than they ever dreamed of, do not stop working on you and focusing on you. God bless you
I got Hoovered several times, what he didn’t know was I did my research. I am that constant reminder. Boy bye! Game over. I know my worth 2 yrs n.c. He has another victim now n looks like crap. I forgive him n moving 4ward 😇💪🏻💯
I Was A Victim. But I, I Repeat I Put An End To It. My God Finally Told Me To Put An End To It Bye Going To Her Dad And Finally I Pray He Will Get It Done If Not I Will Play My Last Card. Like Her Dad Said.
I told my ex narc that I would pray for any woman that gets caught in his web, because of his fake persona and that he would always physically, verbally and mentally abuse every woman and that he would never be faithful to anyone...Then I said Happy Whoring lol I told him do not ever try to contact me again..
Girl you’re one of the few people talking about this topic that is real and true and knows what they’re talking about. Great and fantastic video I watched it a few times. Thank you
She’s good have you seen dr ramani
Omg….. everything you said I was living!:( thanks for helping us to open our eyes
I can not only feel the pain and frustration in your voice, but I also relate. Thank you, this helped.
My husband is doing all those things to me I feel like he wants to drive me crazy I so tired of I don’t know how to get out I’m so depressed and have anxiety and my self esteem is so low💔💔💔😭😭😭
Thank you for putting everything into perspective. You said everything I needed to hear. For me, the emotional pain has stopped and I've discarded everything, blocked, deleted photos, I stopped looking at their social media. I believe I am healed but my #1 problem is, I can't get this person out of my mind. I don't understand it.
That's my Ex right there
The devaluation stage started after I had been out of town for two days and she learned I got beat up by some guy in a bar. Her reaction was: "I starting to feel like when I was with my ex who cheated on me 10 times" which also, that guy... Was still writing to her... and I didn't see that redflag
Knowledge truly.IS.Power!
I've been dealing with an Narcissist and Empath Paradigm
You explained this with such insight and expertise..Thank you for all you are doing to educate people about NPD behaviour. I am in the post discard phase and am doing so much better. We still see each other sometimes at church and talk from time to time but everything has changed. He knows (enough) that I know; and I gave him the "hey sweety" talk. That was tough, but necessary -- also liberating. It was tough because they are very manipulative and saavy; and because I am also still recovering from ptsd from other narcissists (which he knew and weaponized against me). He wrote me a letter a month later and never ever once mentioned an apology but rather he made it seem like he was done with me -- flipped the narrative for sure. He was making himself out to be a victim for sure. The image playing for your post is also so accurate to illustrate a narcissist's world! So sad and scary ... and empaths have a tendency to want to help them ...but it is so dangerous and isolating ... like the image implies. Please make another video!
Narcissists care about nothing more than how they are perceived. My narc discarded me like, almost literally threw me out like trash. He was enmeshed where I work because he came here for treatments. After we broke up we "tried" being "friends" (where he was trying to insist on a relationship/nonrelationship/open relationship without emotions) i told him he shouldnt come to my work for treatments anymore especially not with the acupuncturist because everyone hated him for what he did to me - you shouldnt get poked by needles by someone that hates you
Literally he could not understand what he did wrong and accused me of bad mouthing him, was genuinely flabbergasted and upset that MY COWORKERS saw him negatively??? After he treated me like garbage?? The delulu is so deep with them... I told him i didnt have to make anything up all i did was say you left me and this is how. Thats enough for any sane person.
I was told he had a realization that I would never change and it was his fault to think he could. Does that count as accountability?😅😅😅😅
My ex and her father tried to blame everything on me for my ex having an affair and I was bringing her down..
Then had the nerve to invite me to Christmas... Like wtf, No.... I'm out ✌️
I have two narcissistic daughters, it's horrible.
Your not kidding about those cycles. It took me 3 of them to figure it out each one worse. Talk about a downward spiral 😳 but the good news is I got out and am much happier living the best I can. I really want and have a lot to share but not with one of those people.
Thnx a lot, this info cheers me up , cause i ve been feelling low n grieving about this. 17 years with a narc. Bless you for sharing this information.
Wow! This was the most concise video on this topic. I truly dodged a bullet last week. He abruptly left, after the stupidest situation, because I wasn’t going along with him. Like you said, I was continually talking with him, about things he did, or said, and would do “the DARVO”on me. It was a great two year long-distance relationship, but I will be moving to the same city he lives, only to be close to my daughters. I was beginning to feel it wouldn’t last, or maybe he didn’t want to, because I would be there seeing what was going on with him there, or he needed a new supply. Either way, I have just exhaled. Thank you for opening my eyes, in such a different way, accepting I need no explanation, because he may never, accept what his brokenness. It’s just sad, because he’s a good man, in so many other ways. C’est la vie!
Thank you for this video, it was as informative as it was uplifting. I feel less vengeful for hearing your reasoning for the final discard, and I have to admit I did consider the fact that I had just about figured her out when she suddenly cut the cord. She ticks most of the boxes for covert narcissism. However the one area that never seemed to apply was how narcs try to play the victim and create a slur campaign. My ex compartmentalised everyone and pretty much kept me out of the rest of her life. So there weren’t any real mutual friends with whom she might spread viscous rumours to, or play the victim in front of. However I think her ex husband fell victim to the slur campaign.
Over 25 years she came and went, firstly on and off for 8 years, then I went no contact pretty much for 10 years, after which she reached out to me again and resumed the cycle for another 6-7 years. At no point we’re we ever officially together. She managed to keep me at a distance and relatively hidden from all who knew her. The second time around she was separating from her first husband and triangulated her arse off and keeping me as a secret affair until she finally got the divorce, by which time I was fast figuring her out and since she’d lost her best excuse for not letting our relationship progress that was the perfect time for her to begging the final discard. I tried entertaining every other possible reason for the cycle of toxic treatment I got from my ex but there is simply too much evidence pointing to narcissistic abuse. I discovered avoidant attachment first when I was researching this pattern of withdrawal that I’d begun to identify in her where she’d pretty much go no contact for anywhere between 2 weeks to 2 months, apart from text messaging, and even then she she would try and shut me down by selectively ignoring certain messages that might lead to engaging and intimate conversation. I was convinced she was trying to force me down a road where the only material I could work with would make me appear boring. That was just silent treatment. It was so different from my mother’s type of silent treatment, so I never picked up on it before the relationship was slowly brought to and end by suffocation. I was aware of the way she treated her ex husband in the latter years, but had believed him to be the problem for so long. Now I feel a strange connection to him. I now realise that the treatment I had received had already been used on him a few years earlier. If only I’d spotted the signs earlier on.
Great video currently experiencing this for discarding the narcissist
I was discard by my grandbabies adopted narcissist parent. My daughter was murdered. I ask to see the adoption papers and she said that I had already seen them. I called her out on it and she blocked me. My grandbabies are my life. I have not seen them in over a year. They have no empathy. I miss my grandbabies so much.
Your grandbabies adopted parents? Huh?
@@Vixinaful yes
You couldn't have explained it better!
After I walked away from him after the verbal attack on me. I had enough.
He send me a link to a short vid entitled “men who leave have the most power” 😮 I just thought “ what an idiot” of course I didn’t respond - I just ignored, like I wish I did many years ago 😂
They are so delusional.
My covert narc was my best friend from childhood. She not only kept a harem of her exes, she kept a harem of MY exes