Set your life free from Childhood PTSD! Order my new book RE-REGULATED here: bit.ly/3XiLsj2 And if you'd like to join our Members' Book Club (where we read books about CPTSD together) become a Member here: bit.ly/CCF-Membership
I met someone recently and considered dating but he is legally still married, has a teenage daughter (full custody), he’s admitted being codependent, likely drinks too much and is a bit overweight. I’ve decided not to go forward with dating this person solely based on just his interest in me. THIS is growth for me,seriously. I never paid attention before to red flags or whether I was even interested in past boyfriends. It was always just enough that they liked me.
Dear Fary, I would like to thank you for your work and the support, empathy and tough love you give us. I am 43 and first time in my life someone finally put a name on something that I have been experiencing all along. I learned and healed more with your videos in recent days than in years before. As a note, please never stop the part when you explain the fairy pencil circles. It gives me a lot of comfort when you say that, I feel loved and encouraged by the way you take the lead and how you are determined to help. I always know that it will be epic and you never disappoint. You are truly a Fairy and I am forever grateful for you to start this channel.
I suddenly got teary when you said, "You're a dear and precious human being, and not just used for sex.." I can relate so much to it. I know what I've been doing these past two years is wrong yet I haven't been able to let go.
I used to be this way. I didn’t want a real partner, I just wanted someone I could protect my fantasies of a partner onto. Anytime getting closer to these unavailable people just totally ruined the attraction. I just wanted to continue to live in the imagination of someone coming to save me from my childhood.
I have actually never been falling for „unavailable“ people. it’s not sympathic at all. but, it is hard to find people who are open but stable, and also physically attractive to oneself! that’s really also not the easiest part. especially not when you are a sensitive person. 🙁 it’s tricky, I think.
Almost 40 years being the placeholder, the one cheated on, the one they never choose, want to marry(let alone having children with). Finally after years of therapy and working on codepency i decided to let go the last one who told me doesn’t find me attractive and not sure about a relationship, in other circumstances i would have begged or tried my best…this time I’m closing a cicle and accepting the reality and moving on
This was a great video with so many valuable pieces of truth. I can’t count how many times I’ve been triggered, dysregulated and say/do and act in a way that only causes me remorse down the road. It’s a vicious cycle but this brings so much clarity, Anna! Thank you for your wisdom and the hard work and time you put in to all of our healing journeys!
I can totally relate to the Eroticized abandonment. I’d love to hear more about this. Is it possible to do a show about it? Thanks for all you do ♥️♥️♥️
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
I disagree that we don’t “attract” various bad things or people. Bad people (especially narcissists) on the lookout for their next victim know what they’re looking for. Low self-esteem, for example, attracts narcissists and repels secure people. So you do need to “fix” what signals you’re putting out. BUT!!!! There’s what you attract, and there’s what you ALLOW IN!! That’s where the “gravitational pull” comes in. Ya gotta stop allowing it in, and press that eject button a lot faster!
I have a friend who has a knack for entertaining bad people who are so obviously bad. Red flags everywhere, but she seems to be blind to them even if you point them out to her. I agree with Anna that trauma wounds can recreate a loop of "attracting" bad actors. Narcissists are not always cunning. You can sniff out most of them a mile away.
Yeah but most people are unavailable. So at a certain point you get tired of giving people chances. Then maybe you wait a few years, and give someone who presents as normal a chance. Then you know enough to bail when you recognize the red flags. Im tired of crazy people. They may have a nice job and house. They may have 109 people show up at their birthday party. They may be really kind to their dog and other people. I literally give up. Im too old for this trying crap with people.
Most ppl are crazy. And the ones who present themselves as normal high achievers in my experience are the ones hidding the crazy. Currently dealing with this now as a man who’s been obsessing over me for two years now even tho I am not interested works at CNN and post on social media Golfing and traveling. On the surface he seems like a good person. Up close he’s a nightmare and I’m afraid he may snap and try and hurt me.
My Dad died when I was young and my Mother never liked me. So, I went out and found someone just like her as it fit my definition of love (love=abuse) and tried to win them over, like I tried with my Mom. So my journey to love has been a "long & winding road." Now, after years alone I finally feel better and would welcome a true partner in life. I'll look into your daily practice & dating course, thanks for these great life skill tools Anna, gives one hope.
I let guy take advantage of me again. I give up 😭 I struggle with allergies chronic illness makes me feel lonely. Idk how if I will even survive this autoimmune. I am depressed and I lost all friends because of my trauma. People end up leaving me
I can relate... I am disabled and have a Traumatic Brain Injury -(TBI) and have given up on women because I have been heartbroken more than enough and I don't think my compromised brain could handle a relationship. .
"you were made for love", "finding THE one", "one day, it'll just happen"? Uhh, I don't think so. That sounds delusional. After seven years of dating, the only conclusion I came to was that people are messed up, CPTSD or not.
Question: what if you don’t know who you are ?? Seriously. Never had an opportunity to be my own person. Was so denigrated. All the time. So so hard not to be energized by anger ????
Daily Practice can help sort through things that feel confusing and it is a great way to get clear about what you really want. You can try it free here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy
"What would I do if you haven’t come into my world to change it forever? What would I do if you have never looked at me and reawakened love within me my gorgeous prince with those beautiful big blue eyes? I was praying to meet someone like you, and as if you were godsent, your first presence has just changed my world in an instant. Otherwise, I was hurt by all the disappointments in love, constant painful abandonment, hopelessness in an endless vaccuum of desperation. And it did take us a while to be together that I nearly gave up. But, here we are in your hometown where you lived before you moved to mine, and we are spending our first holiday to experience the summer together. I did not plan to do this amazing trip, certainly not. You’ve surprised me with all these nice monuments, streets and parks that carried your name. Yes, and I want to follow your footsteps, find your name, and be where ever you have been! I’m so eager to feel and see your world and breathe the air you breathed so your past will be mine too, as if we have always been together."
"And I'm glad you looked back at me. It’s then I dared to approach you. I’ll take you through my city on my bicycle today. Let's go through the park!"
"I bet you used to ride your bicycle through this big park everyday and do lots of sports and outings with your work mates, drinking, laughing and having fun.”
" Sweetie, let’s sit down here. This a pleasant park restaurant with many benches with tables outside."
"Oh, I see you’ve spent so much time in this place, is it your favourite place? So much people are eating out here. It’s teeming with happy weekenders...unlike us, it’s certainly our first honey moon together."
"The beer I grabbed at the bar desk is delicious with a hint of sweetness, light and thirst quenching. Do you wanna have a taste?”
The bar attendant approaches her and asks her "Would you like to have something else m'am?" She looks down and answers "No, thanks." She gets up of the bench immediately and then leaves to explore more of the city.
"Oh, it must be there you used to jump in the stream and have a swim to cool down the heat of July?"
"Yes, I’ve done it many time with friends."
"I’m tired of walking, yet I cannot sit anywhere. I feel like going around the entire city today. No need of your car or bicycle. We should walk all around and visit all churches and museums together and every tiny corner."
"It’s your city now, and we may well come back to settle down here together, buy a house and have children." "Oh dear, in this case I'll have to find a job too."
"Not immediately! Initially, I’ll take care of you. And you’ll be at home caring for our kids."
"I'm feeling tired, let's sit down by the stream as I need to rest my feet by dipping them in the fresh water."
The young students are chilling in groups by the alertedly running stream and the water feels cool when she puts her feet in the stream. All of sudden, a bloke looks like he is creeping towards her and she starts to feel uncomfortable, so she pulls her feet out of the water right away and puts her shoes on and leaves without having fully enjoyed the moment. "Where are you going beautiful lady?" the bloke mumbles to her without her taking any notice of him.
"Oh, I have to hurry out of here to get away from this intrusive fellow, nobody will ever take your place."
Later, as the night falls, the rain begins to pour down, but luckily she has her big dark green umbrella with her. At tis point she feels to tired to pursue anything, and therefore she decides to return to the hotel. "W're well tired my love, aren't we, let's call it a day and another exciting day awaits us tomorrow."
"Oh, ye, of course, I showed you my entire life here in my city today, sweetheart, and I can't wait until we arrive to our hotel."
In the hotel room, she changes her clothes and slips on her pyjamas, and then goes to her comfy double bed that’s covered with white sheets and duvets. She feels restless so she starts to scroll through her mobile to calm herself down to aid her falling asleep. On the other side of the big bed, she has put her small backpack, and scattered her clothes and other hygiene items all over it. The first hours of night elapse but she is still wide awake. She has a long day ahead of her tomorrow to explore more of his city.
"Why? why did you come and leave without saying good bye? Life has become utterly unbearable and I’ve lost all of my will to live that even daily joys as small as painting my nails, had lost its excitement. Why did I look at you when you were stealing a lusty glance at me that changed my life in a second and made me feel something? What would have happened if I never did? You left out of the blue and made my days dull and hopeless until I fell apart. You allured me with long talks about your life, yet I knew that you would be just as everyone else, there was nothing promising. And since then something have died inside of me and despite of that I’ve chosen you to be the last one ever to love." Says she to herself and then she sobs for a short instance in silence until her tears have fallen on the pillow underneath her head.
we all "have" the opportunity to be our own person...we have to stop dating, looking, fantasizing, etc. Get to work, be single, be solo, feel the pain of isolation...and it starts getting better. I understand the anger thing. Pain pain pain fear fear fear.
Please read “how to spot a dangerous man” by Sandra L. Brown. I’ve had five bad boy boyfriends and I can spot yours as a dangerous man! Safety first💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
Oh Becky I can totally relate. I totally feel you about how you grew up. But girl steer clear from married Men, if they will do it with you, they will do it to you!
Thank God I found you! Im having the same issue, trauma and attachment. I also fall into trap of liking someone that doesnt like me or emotionally unavailable. Thank you so much! this helps me from what I am going through right now❤sometimes i feel like im going crazy and it hurts a lot especially when ur trying to control your actions and not to just follow your anxious brain🥴
My father used to blame me for my parents' financial problems (and told me he wished I was never born) because I was a disabled child with a lot of expensive medical bills. Now I am a grownup with a lot of expensive medical bills ... and medical expenses are a HUGE trigger. I feel like a drain on my partner. I am working on it. It's hard!
My dad use to say that he never wanted kids because he didn’t want them to go through financial struggles , like if he was going through it he would be able to handle but he didn’t want the kid to see that or go through it. But one day I broke down and said dad why do you have to say that l, my whole life you’ve said that and that does things to your kid. He’s stopped since. 🙏👀
Unfortunately the CODA groups that I used to go to disbanded due to lack of attendance... You would thunk people would want to heal... I guess people believe in "suckage acceptance"
C-PTSD is not childhood PTSD, it is COMPLEX CPTSD. A condition that springs from living repeated and/ or continual trauma over a period of time. The period of childhood for instance sometimes, but not always. It could be ANY sustained period of time. For me and probably the majority of those suffering C-PTSD, that period was my childhood, but for others it was not.
Yes, I think people here know that. Childhood PTSD frames it as specific to childhood, which is what this channel is about, and more people instinctively understand the term. cPTSD is less widely inderztood
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thanks for the response. Didn't realize this channel was specific to Childhood. Just starting to learn what I didn't know I didn't know ha ha. I'd guess childhood PTSD and complex PTSD have more similarities than differences but the fact that it occurred before we developed would cause dramatic differences. In any case I digress and a topic for another time. Wishing you a peaceful evening...
Women's shelters in Canada are full. l see doctors dismissing women who want to address narcissistic partners who show poor intentions and greedy selfish behavior with alcoholic compulsive behavior addictions to creating problems in every aspect of his life because of his attitude towards others charges ended him charged and put in jail several times. Smashing up vehicles and memory loss at 71 years old.Yet doctors dismissing everything l mention to address his poor driving and anger issues. Meeting with male doctors in Ontario Canada is so annoying as males always blame women every time.
This is my childhood with my mom. When I got hit by a car, at age nine, I got punished and my bike was taken away. Now I’m 64, live downstairs from mom, and she STILL tells me NOT to ride my bike! For HER very paranoid controlling reasons! Her having the first stages of dementia has not made this better, but I do walk away and refuse to play into it. For stress management I use yoga, meditation and BIKE RIDING. The fear monger upstairs can be alone with her self made prophecy. I do care for mom, I make her meals and limit the conversations to art and the weather.
Dear fairy- some of us stopped caring- told youtube i had zero interest but it keeps popping up- you do you- i bet you help ppl just want you outta my feed
Unless a someones masking on your account- i suppose if i reported the double side swipe enough it would stop as well? I think not - in fact ive clicked dont recommend and not interested multiple times…. On many different channels….I find it quite interesting the game being played….on my account i suppose you’d have to be on this side to understand. Hmmm funny how the account masking works…thanks for the suggestion aside from it’s done nothing …considering ive tried that avenue …❤️🤍🥶💀😁 thanks again
Set your life free from Childhood PTSD! Order my new book RE-REGULATED here: bit.ly/3XiLsj2
And if you'd like to join our Members' Book Club (where we read books about CPTSD together) become a Member here: bit.ly/CCF-Membership
I met someone recently and considered dating but he is legally still married, has a teenage daughter (full custody), he’s admitted being codependent, likely drinks too much and is a bit overweight. I’ve decided not to go forward with dating this person solely based on just his interest in me. THIS is growth for me,seriously. I never paid attention before to red flags or whether I was even interested in past boyfriends. It was always just enough that they liked me.
Good job! Keep it up!
Nika@TeamFairy
Dear Fary, I would like to thank you for your work and the support, empathy and tough love you give us. I am 43 and first time in my life someone finally put a name on something that I have been experiencing all along. I learned and healed more with your videos in recent days than in years before. As a note, please never stop the part when you explain the fairy pencil circles. It gives me a lot of comfort when you say that, I feel loved and encouraged by the way you take the lead and how you are determined to help. I always know that it will be epic and you never disappoint. You are truly a Fairy and I am forever grateful for you to start this channel.
Thank you so much for your kind words towards Anna! Glad you are here and healing!
Nika@TeamFairy
Bad when they use you,
Still bad when they don't even see you as 'worthy' of using. _OUCH!_
I suddenly got teary when you said, "You're a dear and precious human being, and not just used for sex.." I can relate so much to it. I know what I've been doing these past two years is wrong yet I haven't been able to let go.
I used to be this way. I didn’t want a real partner, I just wanted someone I could protect my fantasies of a partner onto. Anytime getting closer to these unavailable people just totally ruined the attraction. I just wanted to continue to live in the imagination of someone coming to save me from my childhood.
that's very deep and good reflection......
Deep
I have actually never been falling for „unavailable“ people. it’s not sympathic at all.
but, it is hard to find people who are open but stable, and also physically attractive to oneself! that’s really also not the easiest part. especially not when you are a sensitive person. 🙁 it’s tricky, I think.
Almost 40 years being the placeholder, the one cheated on, the one they never choose, want to marry(let alone having children with). Finally after years of therapy and working on codepency i decided to let go the last one who told me doesn’t find me attractive and not sure about a relationship, in other circumstances i would have begged or tried my best…this time I’m closing a cicle and accepting the reality and moving on
Hang in there!
Nika@TeamFairy
This was a great video with so many valuable pieces of truth. I can’t count how many times I’ve been triggered, dysregulated and say/do and act in a way that only causes me remorse down the road. It’s a vicious cycle but this brings so much clarity, Anna! Thank you for your wisdom and the hard work and time you put in to all of our healing journeys!
I can totally relate to the Eroticized abandonment. I’d love to hear more about this. Is it possible to do a show about it? Thanks for all you do ♥️♥️♥️
Another important topic! Well done, as usual ❤ thank you.
Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really loved him so much I can’t stop thinking about him, I’ve tried my very best to get him back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of him, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss him and just can’t stop thinking about him
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let him go i did all i could to get him back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring him back.
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach him?
His name is Father Obah Eze, and he is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
he is father obah eze, he has great powers, he can help you.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked him up now online. impressive
Wow I just looked Father Obah Eze on the net he’s very legit thanks once again ❤
I disagree that we don’t “attract” various bad things or people. Bad people (especially narcissists) on the lookout for their next victim know what they’re looking for. Low self-esteem, for example, attracts narcissists and repels secure people. So you do need to “fix” what signals you’re putting out. BUT!!!! There’s what you attract, and there’s what you ALLOW IN!! That’s where the “gravitational pull” comes in. Ya gotta stop allowing it in, and press that eject button a lot faster!
I have a friend who has a knack for entertaining bad people who are so obviously bad. Red flags everywhere, but she seems to be blind to them even if you point them out to her. I agree with Anna that trauma wounds can recreate a loop of "attracting" bad actors. Narcissists are not always cunning. You can sniff out most of them a mile away.
Yeah but most people are unavailable. So at a certain point you get tired of giving people chances. Then maybe you wait a few years, and give someone who presents as normal a chance. Then you know enough to bail when you recognize the red flags. Im tired of crazy people. They may have a nice job and house. They may have 109 people show up at their birthday party. They may be really kind to their dog and other people. I literally give up. Im too old for this trying crap with people.
Most ppl are crazy. And the ones who present themselves as normal high achievers in my experience are the ones hidding the crazy. Currently dealing with this now as a man who’s been obsessing over me for two years now even tho I am not interested works at CNN and post on social media Golfing and traveling. On the surface he seems like a good person. Up close he’s a nightmare and I’m afraid he may snap and try and hurt me.
My Dad died when I was young and my Mother never liked me. So, I went out and found someone just like her as it fit my definition of love (love=abuse) and tried to win them over, like I tried with my Mom. So my journey to love has been a "long & winding road." Now, after years alone I finally feel better and would welcome a true partner in life. I'll look into your daily practice & dating course, thanks for these great life skill tools Anna, gives one hope.
I let guy take advantage of me again. I give up 😭 I struggle with allergies chronic illness makes me feel lonely. Idk how if I will even survive this autoimmune. I am depressed and I lost all friends because of my trauma. People end up leaving me
I can relate... I am disabled and have a Traumatic Brain Injury -(TBI) and have given up on women because I have been heartbroken more than enough and I don't think my compromised brain could handle a relationship.
.
This is the Most Helpful video I've watched. Putting this one on replay.
ThankYou!! ♡
"you were made for love", "finding THE one", "one day, it'll just happen"? Uhh, I don't think so. That sounds delusional. After seven years of dating, the only conclusion I came to was that people are messed up, CPTSD or not.
absolutely right..every one is NUTS!
Question: what if you don’t know who you are ?? Seriously. Never had an opportunity to be my own person. Was so denigrated. All the time. So so hard not to be energized by anger ????
Daily Practice can help sort through things that feel confusing and it is a great way to get clear about what you really want. You can try it free here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice
Nika@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy In limirence
"What would I do if you haven’t come into my world to change it forever? What would I do if you have never looked at me and reawakened love within me my gorgeous prince with those beautiful big blue eyes? I was praying to meet someone like you, and as if you were godsent, your first presence has just changed my world in an instant. Otherwise, I was hurt by all the disappointments in love, constant painful abandonment, hopelessness in an endless vaccuum of desperation. And it did take us a while to be together that I nearly gave up. But, here we are in your hometown where you lived before you moved to mine, and we are spending our first holiday to experience the summer together. I did not plan to do this amazing trip, certainly not. You’ve surprised me with all these nice monuments, streets and parks that carried your name. Yes, and I want to follow your footsteps, find your name, and be where ever you have been! I’m so eager to feel and see your world and breathe the air you breathed so your past will be mine too, as if we have always been together."
"And I'm glad you looked back at me. It’s then I dared to approach you. I’ll take you through my city on my bicycle today. Let's go through the park!"
"I bet you used to ride your bicycle through this big park everyday and do lots of sports and outings with your work mates, drinking, laughing and having fun.”
" Sweetie, let’s sit down here. This a pleasant park restaurant with many benches with tables outside."
"Oh, I see you’ve spent so much time in this place, is it your favourite place? So much people are eating out here. It’s teeming with happy weekenders...unlike us, it’s certainly our first honey moon together."
"The beer I grabbed at the bar desk is delicious with a hint of sweetness, light and thirst quenching. Do you wanna have a taste?”
The bar attendant approaches her and asks her "Would you like to have something else m'am?" She looks down and answers "No, thanks." She gets up of the bench immediately and then leaves to explore more of the city.
"Oh, it must be there you used to jump in the stream and have a swim to cool down the heat of July?"
"Yes, I’ve done it many time with friends."
"I’m tired of walking, yet I cannot sit anywhere. I feel like going around the entire city today. No need of your car or bicycle. We should walk all around and visit all churches and museums together and every tiny corner."
"It’s your city now, and we may well come back to settle down here together, buy a house and have children."
"Oh dear, in this case I'll have to find a job too."
"Not immediately! Initially, I’ll take care of you. And you’ll be at home caring for our kids."
"I'm feeling tired, let's sit down by the stream as I need to rest my feet by dipping them in the fresh water."
The young students are chilling in groups by the alertedly running stream and the water feels cool when she puts her feet in the stream. All of sudden, a bloke looks like he is creeping towards her and she starts to feel uncomfortable, so she pulls her feet out of the water right away and puts her shoes on and leaves without having fully enjoyed the moment.
"Where are you going beautiful lady?" the bloke mumbles to her without her taking any notice of him.
"Oh, I have to hurry out of here to get away from this intrusive fellow, nobody will ever take your place."
Later, as the night falls, the rain begins to pour down, but luckily she has her big dark green umbrella with her. At tis point she feels to tired to pursue anything, and therefore she decides to return to the hotel. "W're well tired my love, aren't we, let's call it a day and another exciting day awaits us tomorrow."
"Oh, ye, of course, I showed you my entire life here in my city today, sweetheart, and I can't wait until we arrive to our hotel."
In the hotel room, she changes her clothes and slips on her pyjamas, and then goes to her comfy double bed that’s covered with white sheets and duvets. She feels restless so she starts to scroll through her mobile to calm herself down to aid her falling asleep. On the other side of the big bed, she has put her small backpack, and scattered her clothes and other hygiene items all over it. The first hours of night elapse but she is still wide awake. She has a long day ahead of her tomorrow to explore more of his city.
"Why? why did you come and leave without saying good bye? Life has become utterly unbearable and I’ve lost all of my will to live that even daily joys as small as painting my nails, had lost its excitement. Why did I look at you when you were stealing a lusty glance at me that changed my life in a second and made me feel something? What would have happened if I never did? You left out of the blue and made my days dull and hopeless until I fell apart. You allured me with long talks about your life, yet I knew that you would be just as everyone else, there was nothing promising. And since then something have died inside of me and despite of that I’ve chosen you to be the last one ever to love." Says she to herself and then she sobs for a short instance in silence until her tears have fallen on the pillow underneath her head.
we all "have" the opportunity to be our own person...we have to stop dating, looking, fantasizing, etc. Get to work, be single, be solo, feel the pain of isolation...and it starts getting better. I understand the anger thing. Pain pain pain fear fear fear.
This is some wonderful truth. If only could remember it all and use it aright. 💞👊
Please read “how to spot a dangerous man” by Sandra L. Brown. I’ve had five bad boy boyfriends and I can spot yours as a dangerous man! Safety first💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
You are such a queen and I am loving your content
Oh Becky I can totally relate. I totally feel you about how you grew up. But girl steer clear from married Men, if they will do it with you, they will do it to you!
Thank God I found you! Im having the same issue, trauma and attachment. I also fall into trap of liking someone that doesnt like me or emotionally unavailable. Thank you so much! this helps me from what I am going through right now❤sometimes i feel like im going crazy and it hurts a lot especially when ur trying to control your actions and not to just follow your anxious brain🥴
My father used to blame me for my parents' financial problems (and told me he wished I was never born) because I was a disabled child with a lot of expensive medical bills. Now I am a grownup with a lot of expensive medical bills ... and medical expenses are a HUGE trigger. I feel like a drain on my partner. I am working on it. It's hard!
That sound hard but we're glad you are here. Keep on working, you are worth healing!
Nika@TeamFairy
My dad use to say that he never wanted kids because he didn’t want them to go through financial struggles , like if he was going through it he would be able to handle but he didn’t want the kid to see that or go through it. But one day I broke down and said dad why do you have to say that l, my whole life you’ve said that and that does things to your kid. He’s stopped since. 🙏👀
My dad once said: " if I can start my life over, it would be without children"....
Was very 'nice' to hear
Unfortunately the CODA groups that I used to go to disbanded due to lack of attendance... You would thunk people would want to heal... I guess people believe in "suckage acceptance"
Sad. I find though that most people don't want to heal. It's work and people would rather go "vegan" and live at the gym , than work on this
Anna, this is great work you do, and I do so appreciate you for it.❤
So soooooo relate and love the insights. Thx❤
1:10:10 -- sooooo true (all of it, but just awesome summary). All of it.
C-PTSD is not childhood PTSD, it is COMPLEX CPTSD. A condition that springs from living repeated and/ or continual trauma over a period of time. The period of childhood for instance sometimes, but not always. It could be ANY sustained period of time. For me and probably the majority of those suffering C-PTSD, that period was my childhood, but for others it was not.
Yes, I think people here know that. Childhood PTSD frames it as specific to childhood, which is what this channel is about, and more people instinctively understand the term. cPTSD is less widely inderztood
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy thanks for the response. Didn't realize this channel was specific to Childhood. Just starting to learn what I didn't know I didn't know ha ha. I'd guess childhood PTSD and complex PTSD have more similarities than differences but the fact that it occurred before we developed would cause dramatic differences. In any case I digress and a topic for another time. Wishing you a peaceful evening...
Yes, there HAS to be attraction!
yes, but not sexual chemistry unchecked when it can be beer goggles and distraction
Women's shelters in Canada are full. l see doctors dismissing women who want to address narcissistic partners who show poor intentions and greedy selfish behavior with alcoholic compulsive behavior addictions to creating problems in every aspect of his life because of his attitude towards others charges ended him charged and put in jail several times. Smashing up vehicles and memory loss at 71 years old.Yet doctors dismissing everything l mention to address his poor driving and anger issues. Meeting with male doctors in Ontario Canada is so annoying as males always blame women every time.
Fairy, in this video you refer to joining a 12-step program, but if you’re not or have not been a user? Which one do I chose?
Is it possible to see a person without Trauma?
This is my childhood with my mom. When I got hit by a car, at age nine, I got punished and my bike was taken away.
Now I’m 64, live downstairs from mom, and she STILL tells me NOT to ride my bike! For HER very paranoid controlling reasons!
Her having the first stages of dementia has not made this better, but I do walk away and refuse to play into it.
For stress management I use yoga, meditation and BIKE RIDING. The fear monger upstairs can be alone with her self made prophecy.
I do care for mom, I make her meals and limit the conversations to art and the weather.
In addition, I’ve always had relationships with emotionally unavailable people. The man who “ can’t” say I love you is the common thread.
That statement was eye opening! I GRAVITATE to these people, and I make myself a target for narcissists because I reveal my vulnerabilities TOO SOON!!
40:00 get clear about what you want.
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No sometimes kids do ruin marriages and sometimes you gotta 1 2
Say it with me: deception is coercion. Coercion is not consent. Rape culture exists. It's not your fault you fell for this rapist.
Don't water down that word. Manipulation is real, but....
Dear fairy- some of us stopped caring- told youtube i had zero interest but it keeps popping up- you do you- i bet you help ppl just want you outta my feed
So better not commenting.....
Maybe and maybe- did my comment hurt anything? I think not- sticks and stones may break ones bones but words..we allow to hurt us…. Perspectively
Click on the three dots at the bottom right of the video in your feed. Select "don't recommend channel" You'll never see them again!
Unless a someones masking on your account- i suppose if i reported the double side swipe enough it would stop as well? I think not - in fact ive clicked dont recommend and not interested multiple times…. On many different channels….I find it quite interesting the game being played….on my account i suppose you’d have to be on this side to understand. Hmmm funny how the account masking works…thanks for the suggestion aside from it’s done nothing …considering ive tried that avenue …❤️🤍🥶💀😁 thanks again
To be clear i font do fuck shit like hack…or steal user accounts….
Nittwitts spy easedrop. 28/9 watch. Trying to figure out what kind of magic I'm doing.
I'm looking!!