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40 is Not old !!! Blink your eyes and you'll be 60!!! or 70!!! I just turned 70, but I still love to write, do artwork, sew & cook. I know several people who are 91!!! One of them still drives. She's my inspiration. She still does her own shopping, & goes out to dinner, or breakfast with friends. We live in Connecticut, & she and her sister are driving to New Hampshire today, for a neice's bridal shower!!! (at least a 3 or 4 hour drive!!). I'm now 70, & she still calls me, "kiddo," !!! 💗🕊️💗
Hearing you read that out loud, I found myself judging over and over, and yet I have enabled similar horrific nonsense in more than one "relationship." When I imagine myself telling my story to someone or writing it out and having someone read it, it sounds almost beyond belief that I valued myself so little. I don't know how anyone who knew what was going on kept from just slapping me upside the head and telling me to wake up.
To “Samantha” and anyone else dreaming of farm life, I highly recommend watching Becoming a Farm Girl vlog here on UA-cam. She lives in a townhome, gardens on her deck with vertical gardening, helps out on local farms, and shares lots of helpful tips on cooking and preserving what’s in season. She’s very inspiring! ❤
I've already left a whole flippin novel of a comment- but I'm further into this video, and I have to say Anna, you're absolutely fabulous. You definitely have a gift. It takes a strong woman to help others and share your own pain in the service of others. Thank you. You're truly helping me navigate through a lot of ish.
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Hey, thank you for that. Also, thank you, to yourself and the whole "team fairy" (that's a cute @) team. You ladies/fellas are also doing a very good job. What an awesome organization to be a part of. Have a good day🌺.
Trauma is stuck inside. Nothing works, talking to counselors, connecting with people , and I’ll even go as far as bringing up having support from family. That’s where it all started from. Trauma lingers and everyone loves to throw their opinions and their judgements at me.. Trauma is forever. I know I am negative but no one cares about me and some people are only nice to me so they can know my business and exploit my pain. Thanks
Sometimes I think of Gaza and suddenly everything seems easy or lucky. It could go either way, so I look up and try to go up. Any trauma symptoms/effects I try to accept them and let them go as in not feeling bad about it or dwelling on it. I don't really allow myself to indulge in anything besides work, creativity, and things I like, such as comedies on TV. I know good food plays a role. Not trying to say do this or that or be this or that..I don't tell myself those things much either. I just obsess on getting tasks done, staying away from toxic people if I need to, connecting to Nature, etc. People only want the good things in my life but nobody wants the whole deal that is my life. It's the only one I have, so I choose to like it !! Anyway, just thought to comment for no particular reason aside from just being friendly to a random stranger. Tick that box !!☺️🙋
I have learned the hard way also about who and who not to tell your business to. I have found that working on myself in silence is healing. Lots of things to do where you can avoid toxic people. read books, watch good films, cooking and baking are therapeutic and so is watching these videos. I hope you do something nice for yourself this summer.
I had similar thoughts until I read Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson. It helps you recognize those fake nice folks and those well-intentioned yet clueless counselors who can't help you but can take your money and waste your time.
In almost 37 years of Life, you by far have given me the best advice to heal myself. Although, I know you aren’t a clinical therapist, the advice is true to heart to all of those struggling with childhood traumas etc.
On the no texting thing, I got a flip phone and had it for about 2 years until I finally got over a lot of that phone obsession. Now I have an iPhone again, but I don't use it obsessively like I used to.
10:58 I actually did this on a phone call this week for the first time. I felt a v inappropriate question, and I managed to respond, AFTER I processed it triggering me, and I de-escalated and re-regulated on the fly, consciously. When I think about it, this is such new territory :) thanks and blessing to all who struggle w/ this.
My third therapist didn't focus on the trauma, but on the symptoms. Meditation that I learned from my second therapist has served me wonderfully. I have found a few people who accept me as I am. Most that I encounter in in-person events turn away from me literally.
It's so funny how demanding people are when this is a free video that Anna took the time to make and post. Record the time you left off and just move the little bar to that time when you watch again.
Hey Ann! I love your channel, as a man who spent 8 years with a woman with CPTSD. I was her best advocate for healing. However, she chose to "self-medicate", and for 12 years before meeting me. Ten years with her ex-husband. I had my own trauma thirty years ago, and through therapy and a profound interest in psychology (almost done completing my BA), was able to transcend my pain and suffering. Jordan Peterson has a quote that someone made an art piece out of, "If you have to fight a dragon, you should go to its lair before it comes to your house". I put that on our wall in my house about three years before her symptoms decided she could not trust me, etc., etc. My point and question to you, and to others that inspire many of us is this: In many, many videos, (MOST), you and others talk about reasons why the CPTSD person chooses the (Wrong) partners. It makes it sound like an excuse for them to have deconstruct a perfectly good partner, one angry outburst of insecurity, (fear), and or, a fawn response, and sometimes both at the same time. Over years of this, like in my case, one's CPTSD limbic brain, (unhealed), can absolutely demolish a 100000% well-meaning, and loving relationship over time, unhealed. Obviously, mine did. I lost her daughter too, as I would constantly make excuses for her mother. Again, alcohol and thc was her escape. We had fun, but we could never go anywhere because of her symptoms. I didn't understand why all those years why, for instance, she barked at me about my driving 16 times in 16 miles on the way to Christmas Eve dinner at my parents etc., etc. I am one of the more patient people on the planet, and would love to be with her again, but I am saying to you Ann, she did not choose the "WRONG" partner! I absolutely know what you mean, as to how many with CPTSD do choose wrong partners, but how about a video about mending a relationship with the best partner imaginable!? Thank you for all that you do!
Wow….Anna…..all of the signs of overwhelm fit especially……50:56 ….51:26 ….. 51:47 ….52:28……I also feel judged by people that can’t understand why I’ve been like this….I just feel stuck…& when I try to attempt putting my life back together after a rough patch of bad things happening & completely shutting down….I feel too exhausted & overwhelmed almost immediately…..I have just enough energy to get myself to work & trying to keep my job….I did experience a trauma when I very young & had a less than sympathetic mother but I was able to overcome it & keep my life organized & put together until several events happened & I lost myself & gave up. You are the first creator/coach that has explained EXACTLY where I am at the moment & the way this feels…♥️
As a trauma therapist surrounded by many other trauma therapists, please know that the field is full of us! And we all know the importance of working with the nervous system. Polyvagal, Somatic Experiencing, EMDR, tapping, Sensorimotor, IFS, etc, etc, etc. The field is full of this! Please make sure your listeners know to look specifically for these therapists, rather than painting the field as all "talk therapy." Sounds like you saw people who saw and nodded their heads in empathy, but did little else and I agree, that's not helpful. But a good therapist will absolutely call you on your sh*t when appropriate!! Please don't broad brush the entire field 🙏
Thank u so much for your videos. They helped me a lot with realizing and defining what's really wrong with me and that's the first step to healing I guess. You're amazing!
Amen to the 12 steps. I’m grateful today for staying consistent with myself and attending a meeting once a week and reading writing the steps. I am just now starting to really understand how they apply to me, especially the laundry list. Thank You Anna for your added videos to open my new brain!
I had a partner over the last 2 years tell me i was over reacting to things and I was imagining.. everything i felt or saw or even when he wasnt telling the truth hed convince me I was seeing it the wrong way. He is a master gaslighter and tbh, Im starting to wonder if he even knows what hes doing because he cant seem to stop it for one second even tho he knows im about to stop talking to him for good.. and thats not what he wants.. but he continues anyways.. its really quite crazy to watch him in action because youre just left in complete awe and disbelief as you listen to him. I was getting so exacerbated and overly frustrated with it I felt like I was shaking inside. I know i can over react a little here and there but Ive never ran into it like I do with him. I was convinced every word out of his mouth wasnt true to some extent.. I just never got the real story. I was so sure it wasnt me going nuts that one day I left my phone in the livingroom on voice record and I went to bed... i know.. scummy thing to do but he was literally making me feel insane I just had to for my own sanity. Well, sure enough my suspicions were right. The things I had brought up to him over that weekend were true, the things i felt were going on.. he told me i was imagining it all then even went as far as getting angry with me for suggestion he is lying... and I was right the whole time, I wasnt imagining anything. I couldnt tell him i recorded but i finally had what i needed to just tell him i knew he was lying and if he wasnt honest with me our relationship was over... i BEGGED him to stop lying and he just kept doing it. Im now back home 4 days later and still insanely frustrated and im trying to cut him out 100%. What an awful thing to do to someone.. gaslighting them. He literally made me think i was insane and couldnt trust my own intuition and it was making me feel crazy inside. I seriously thought something was wrong with me and that I had serious problem.. he really did a number on me and Im stunned I let it happen.
Now you know that you Can trust yourself. Move forward with your head held high. You got this. You deserve better than that. Mentally thank him for teaching you that you do know what is what. I say this because I have been there. I wish you all the best.
Wahahahah THE OLE WALK IN THE WOODS..or the ole coffee date, yikes . Sorry, I'm reflecting here on my previous experience where my entire thinking was distorted and I knew it but I went for it anyways. Yikes 😬
Exactly BUT...when you're a nurse, you were abused by your management (replica of guardians) and coworkers (replica of siblings), then, you become a patient of....medical neglect during the plandemic Spring 2020, so, not all of us have our traumas in the past and aren't letting it go. In some cases, the patterns are constant, chronic and ongoing (and working hard to stop that cycle but like in the physical medicine world, for every year some one has autoimmune disease, takes a month to work towards healing it with the multi-system approach, the right tests, the right meds, the right diet, the right pillars of health, eeeeetc, same with the mind. If trauma continues on, how the heavens and heck can you "stop talking about the past" when the same types of trauma are continuing on?! Just adding that for others who are in the similar boat. Thank you, I love you, I'm grateful to God for you, and I know I'm not alone in all of the above, and what I just said about you. Thank you!!!!!
Having a talk therapist is not having support at all. Your paying someone to hear you. Paying! That's not support thats an employee. It never helped me. It actually just pissed me off
For some people who have no one healthy enough to hear them, it can be very helpful to have someone who is highly trained who can listen, validate, encourage and challenge unhelpful thoughts in a way that improves the healing process. Not all therapists are good, and sometimes even a good therapist can be a bad fit, and sometimes therapy just doesn’t help, but for some people, therapy can be very helpful. Also, sometimes some people have things that are just too much trauma for friends to hear. Treating friends like therapists can be harmful and it can be appropriate to pay someone to be a compassionate listener and supporter instead of harming relationships and other people with trauma dumping.
Bless u so much 🙏🏼 u are absolutely brilliant and u give so much love with so much of the information that u give...thanku so much ❤ so much help to so many people so much healing opportunities from u...thanku thanku thanku so much ❤
The person who wants to farm and loves to teach - perhaps you could combine these. When I was in school, we would go on field trips sometimes to visit farms, especially for classes like Horticulture. If making a living just by farming wouldn’t be enough, perhaps you could offer classes for kids or adults to learn how to do things like raise chickens, or plant and grow things, etc…
I was on the other hand. I was in an open marriage. I chose a person who doesn’t know how to show real emotions. Only in person she would show real affection and desire. But in the phone, She held on to things I did wrong wouldn’t say anything but when I would be direct and want to talk about the issues I have in this relationship she would turn it around “ guess I’m not enough again”… but when she would then call me out for stuff, I had the response of apologizing and wanting to work things out. While she would just shut down and go for days weeks and or months without talking to me. She is an Aquarius and she goes silent. I’m an Aries, I compliment because that’s my nature of pouring into her but hers were more responsive compliments. It just never came out of the blue without her being prompted. In the beginning she was attentive and then later she just acted more like a friend-enemy than a girlfriend. Not a sex addict. It was someone I went to school with and later met in life. It seemed so perfect till I started noticing how she reacted to treating issues. She just wouldn’t face them together. She always wanted to face them alone. She and I both have no kids. My wife and I agreed to an open marriage and there was transparency with this relationship. But we no longer together. Even though I broke up with her in the end. I did want to work on us but she just wants to hold on to things and never want to talk stuff out and work on us. Even now still she just hasn’t reached out still. It just sucks cause I never treated her or talked about her like she was a side person. I loved her as a life partner. I no longer conform to colonial brainwashing one man one woman.
Entertaining episode. Married people not content with having someone by their side, taking far more than their fair share, basically denying others by being greedy. They figure out the formula for conning up others, and then abuse that power. Meanwhile many of us would love to have someone to love, but are not the conniving conner uppers who know how to manipulate so well. Funny on the face of it.
Yes I had extreme childhood abuse and neglect. I am trying to deal with adult trauma. WAR. With the horrific attack in Israel on 7 Oct set me back to war memories
I need a friend like you. I am now living in isolation and I hate it. I am wasting my life. I cannot figure out what is wrong with me. I may have suffered mental, emotional, relational neglect as a child- it seems I was the scapegoat- actually my mother once took me to a counselor to “fix” me but the counselor had the entire family come. I heard much later from my sister who was not there and did not even attend because she was away in college, that my mother never went back because she felt that the counselor was blaming her for everything and of course I was the problem so that she did not have to look at her own problems. My sister also told me that the counselor told her I was the family scapegoat. I was in my teens when we went to that counselor and my sister didn’t tell me that until I was in my 40s because my family only talks through my mother. I suppose it’s called triangulation. I was completely ignorant to this stuff, but my sister and mother were always trying to fix me my whole life. Now that mom is in memory care and I am the only one caring for mom- even though she still talks me down and tells to my face when I try to hard to help her. Well- my sisters are completely out of the picture- we do not even talk nor do they see mom. And my father was euthanized in a hospital in 2015. So he’s not around. But I feel most my trauma has been recent. The past 10 years of tragedies. But I am very confused and feel worse than ever now at age 59.
I agree that weekly appointments are not enough, but in my therapy I integrate a lot of somatic healing practices like havening, somatic regulation, meditation and visualizations. I wish more therapists also integrated these techniques for healing.
Renée is at least in a job at a small business which makes it all the more easier to leave. There's lots of options out there for her. College is great if you already know what your passion is before applying. Applying with the expectation that the degree will give you a job is not what post secondary school ensures. Some of these letters remind me of Jane Austen's novel Mansfield Park.
No contact. Just let it go. Quit taking any kind of responsibility for him or his perceptions. If Renee is not choosing a romantic relationship or affair with this player, she has zero justification for contacting him or engaging with him, in ANY way. Change your job. Identify him as poison. Run. Get free from your problem of getting involved with him. He uses women. You don’t spend time alone with any married man. Next time, ask his wife if they have an open marriage in advance, if you can’t figure it out yourself that this is pointless and wrong. It won’t give you the love you want. It can’t. Quit your job. Move on with your life without swimming in this poison pool.
I have this wife, and woooow can she be straight with me! Unfortunately I usually end up a crumbled bucket of tears and impotent rage. It’s very attractive of course. She’s usually right, which is why it’s so devastating. No idea how to handle it so I try to avoid it which makes everything worse. I’m working on it. This channel helps so much, thank goodness for The Crappy Childhood Fairy!
My counselor calls me out on my sheet and he gives zero flicks on how you feel about it. He states facts and the sooner you can see that, and come to terms with it, the faster you'll begin to heal.
Worst thing about talking about your weeknesses is people seeing the invitation to run all over you and take over, supposedly knowing exactly what you must do and hiw you are seeing your own situation all wrong.
Oh, man.. Renne, that's just an awful situation you got yourself into. I hope you left that job, with him and his whole family there. You don't need that. And on the "confusion" about no-contact - we all have the right and responsibility to stop talking and seeing a person who is intent on keeping us in a painful, destructive relationship. It would only seem you're giving the silent treatment, if you decided to stay there, where you see him every day, and ignore him. That makes no sense, why would you put yourself through this? 💔
All of this is exactly how I feel. I think hmm I could eat a bowl of icecream and an hour later I'm dysregulated, exhausted from a panic attack, shaking or sweaty, crying, pages of writing full of angst, angry, dissociated, anxious, completely dissociated from my surroundings and mentally on fire with thoughts and flashbacks. And cant remember eating icecream cos i wasnt thinking about it when i ate it.
hey Anna, just want to leave some feedback. your channel has helped me a lot and I often come back to your videos to get grounded when I get out of sorts again. Im sure you've picked up on the rising popularity of long form content on UA-cam, and I'm one of the many people who consume it. However, when it comes to your videos, I prefer the shorter ones that are addressing a specific topic. Complex PTSD is indeed complex and it makes it very hard to see the big picture. I find I need reminders very often because I am inclined to doubt my own perception, and "losing the plot" leads me to rock bottom every time. It's something I like about Pete walkers book. I read it over and over in small pieces. I've been finding it a little hard to navigate your channel in a way that is helpful for me. I also find your letter videos a little harder to digest than the ones where you speak to the camera directly. Although I understand that it's hard to make something from nothing all the time. It's just that when I'm deregulated as I often am when I come to your channel, the introduction of someone else's story is distracting.
The letters are extremely popular. I suggest if video length is what you prefer, check the running time before you watch. There are hundreds of shorter teaching videos.
All my relationships began with causal sex and all but one ended with trauma or the other person cheating. I'm working on me, 8 months of trauma therapy helped a little, but I have to pretty much write my own protocol to heal and deal with my rumination and abandonment pain.
This married father is entertained by affairs. Do you want to be the show? Who cares if he claims it’s alright with his wife. (It’s not, by the way). It can’t be alright for you. A married man who is soon to have a baby, is not a good relationship prospect. Raise your standards. Don’t be emotionally involved or available to a married person. Just don’t. It’s not respectful to you. You’re an adult, and it’s important to stay out of other peoples marriages, and see their preference for infidelity as an indication that that’s not going to be healthy or good for you to be with a cheater, who is married, and words don’t change those facts.
Whoo-hoo !!! FINALLY!!! I Totally Agree with you. 1,000,000,000 👍 1:17:36 👍👍👍👍 !!! I Am So Sick of hearing people say, that we should feel sorry for these "children in adult suits, ...". Barfaroni. So glad to hear you, on you tube, say That's nonsense. All of us have issues. All of us have traumas ; Some people just have more extreme traumas. But enough of the, children in adult suits. That's just a Lame Excuse for their behavior. 🙄😌😌😌 I Love your program bcz, you tell it like it is, from your own experiences, too. Too many people go to doctor$, who just want to "fix them," by giving them a pill. & what do the drs. Do ?? Listen. No answers. No encouragement. Just more pill$... I have a neighbor like that. She's fun, & funny... But when we get to talk, I share my childhood memories, which are traumatic; but I encourage her, that she's not the only one. We All go through stuff, & some moreso than others... But I encourage her so we don't dwell on the past; & she knows, she's not the only one.
I don’t think this is what she meant at all. I think what she is saying is To have compassion yet not sympathy. You cannot control another person and you cannot dictate their journey and most people can’t do the journey. They are comfortable where they are at. You cannot fix a hole in the wall if you are not aware it is there. Laundry list trait - we confuse love & pity & tend to choose people we can pity and rescue.
Honestly as someone who has been diagnosed with Cptsd you just made it sound like therapists do not like dealing with ppl who have Cptsd. You want us to fix it ourselves and talk therapy doesn’t help, but u want friends and family to call us out bc as u say we are lying.
My therapist is a trauma specialist and she's helped me a lot personally, so I also disagree somewhat with Anna, but I know how hard it can be to find a good therapist.
well, she mentioned she's european.. oit depends on which country she's in, but employees are usually protected by the law and it's VERY difficult to get rid of an employee... I'd rather like to know why she stayed in that job... it had to be quite a hostile work environment for quite a bit..
Those parents raised that manipulative man and are still right there by his side. Not likely that they would change anything unless he wants it changed. It's the tree from which the apple fell.
@@marlenestewart7442Yes, good point. It can be like a riddle sometimes to work out human psychology. When you said "I'm surprised", that was the clue for me... Good Luck to You ☺️🙋
I've always hated causal sex, felt cheap, and even having sex really early on in a relationship. I never pushed it on my gfs, but it felt like they wanted to, so I did it, just to please them or get it out of the way, after that it never felt the same. My relationships just end up only being about sex, and never really getting to know each other, and I'd just shut down, and I can tell they can see that. This past year I dated someone 13 years older than me, and I told them flat out I didn't want to push into a relationship, but they kept pushing for one. I honestly don't know what went wrong, but I think it was cause she was an extrovert and I am a introvert, and she was pushing for a relationship to quick, also she didn't listen to some of my complaints and maybe I didn't talk about my complaints either. I felt like I was drowning, and needed space. I like having alone time, and she just couldn't give me any, and anytime I'd ask she'd want to break up or wonder why.
If I was Renee.. 1) resign from her toxic work environment.. 2) apply for unemployment and public assistance-( food stamps,section 8,Medicare,medicaid etc)... And if she is mentally disabled 3) Apply for SSDI-( Social Security Income Disability ). 4) find as many social programs as possible to help her child can get as mentally stable as possible...
I have tried so much for so long and nothing helped. I am lost and lonely. CPTSD has robbed me of my life and the woman I could have been. I am desperate.
Trauma-driven thinking can be discouraging. But never forget: Healing is possible! Daily Practice (a free course) can be a good first step: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice. If you want to go deeper, Anna has a whole course on Healing Childhood PTSD: bit.ly/CCF_HCPTSD Nika@TeamFairy
❤yes to reading before sleep instead of horrid phone light +noise ❤I like doin a little ritual 🎶 Reflection on this day💫 Goin thru the day ... 💚Thankyou's 💛Forgive me 's...picturing how to do it differently next time 🧡i Love you's ...could be feelings states n places too And Wishing for Tomorrow 🎶 Picturing Imagining Dreaming ...where i can ask guides and Angels in to the party ... It can go on for some time like a magical flying carpet flying me into dreamtime 💜💦 🥰🌻🥰🌻🥰🌻🥰🌻thankyU🥰🌻
I’m sorry to hear that, everyone deserves unconditional love. I can understand & relate to giving up on love from trauma, but I personally believe life with a partner is worth the risk. It’s just a matter of finding the right type of person. I hope you find someone who is amazing to you someday.
@@viewviewview1236 I’m aware of that. The problem is that many people who have toxic shame after trauma, & think they’re terrible people, even though they’re not. That’s why I didn’t specify. By saying terrible people Id mean psychopaths, sexual predators, abusive people etc., but CPTSD survivors can think that’s them. Often as a result of multiple traumas they carry undeserved shame, feel they’re terrible people even think they’re responsible or deserve the trauma they’ve endured, but they are victims. They usually have a negative, distorted view of themselves when they shouldn’t. Even affecting how they physically see themselves, making them see themselves as ugly & differently than reality. Sorry, long I know. I’ve spent a wild amount of time reading all books, medical sites, reports/research, treatment material, acquired tools and workbooks recommended by doctors. To research CPTSD symptoms, the causes, spiraling, shame, guilt and any subject connected possible. In efforts to help someone important to me struggling to see psychiatrists. While, I’m no professional, I’m consistently able to support, give positive reinforcement, point out distorted self views they can’t distinguish, teach coping skills and provided information helping them understand they’re experiencing CPTSD symptoms that can be reduced. Seeing the struggle, the pain, confusion, & all the knowledge I’ve gained left me passionate. Instilled a need to reassure any who may be going through the same whenever I can. It’s more important to me those struggling understand they deserve love than to be specific that serial killers, etc. don’t.
I recommend you to write which are the personality traits of the people you want to surround yourself with. And feel like you deserve to be with people that is already fixed. Be mindful because some people goes around “fixing others” because in that way they can control others and make them “stay” because they now “need you” or “owe you something”. Other people try to fix others because they don’t think they are valuable or don’t have self esteem and it makes them feel worthy or good about themselves. The problem is that when we give from LACK or need, we won’t get anything good back. Also because mostly you will have little respect for yourself (living for others but not taking care of you!) and over giving to people (not knowing to say no, not respecting your own time and resources) and when YOU don’t respect yourself the other people won’t respect you. I hope this could shine some light. We all are valuable just for BEING. 😘😘
I think she might know the physical work but not the business work. If she grew up on a farm she would see the physical in action...but the business part would not be given to a child.
If I was Renee.. I would go on unemployment and public assistance until she can be employed effectively.. And if Renee Cannot.. get a lawyer and get SSDI-( Social Security Disability Income )...
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Her videos are very healing, alot of work she puts in these .please show gratitude
@@dawnmaestascowell6930 very much grateful
I agree. Show some gratitude
@@carlenemadden1030 truly grateful Anna does such an awesome job
Yes!❤
Her videos have done so much for me. Shes helped on my healing journey ❤️🩹
40 is Not old !!!
Blink your eyes and you'll be 60!!! or 70!!!
I just turned 70, but I still love to write, do artwork, sew & cook.
I know several people who are 91!!!
One of them still drives. She's my inspiration. She still does her own shopping, & goes out to dinner, or breakfast with friends. We live in Connecticut, & she and her sister are driving to New Hampshire today, for a neice's bridal shower!!! (at least a 3 or 4 hour drive!!).
I'm now 70, & she still calls me, "kiddo," !!! 💗🕊️💗
im 38 im eligible for aarp 🙇🏽♂️
yeeeaaaah, must be nice to be part of the last generation to retire.
I'm 55 and i still want to be Happy😂😊
That lady need to quite her job and change her phone and turn the page and never look back,that Dude it's a manipulator.
50 here! ❤❤❤
Thank you Ma'am.
You have no idea how your videos have helped others understand themselves and their families.
Hearing you read that out loud, I found myself judging over and over, and yet I have enabled similar horrific nonsense in more than one "relationship." When I imagine myself telling my story to someone or writing it out and having someone read it, it sounds almost beyond belief that I valued myself so little. I don't know how anyone who knew what was going on kept from just slapping me upside the head and telling me to wake up.
To “Samantha” and anyone else dreaming of farm life, I highly recommend watching Becoming a Farm Girl vlog here on UA-cam. She lives in a townhome, gardens on her deck with vertical gardening, helps out on local farms, and shares lots of helpful tips on cooking and preserving what’s in season. She’s very inspiring! ❤
Sounds good. Thanks ☺️🙋
I've already left a whole flippin novel of a comment- but I'm further into this video, and I have to say
Anna, you're absolutely fabulous. You definitely have a gift. It takes a strong woman to help others and share your own pain in the service of others.
Thank you.
You're truly helping me navigate through a lot of ish.
Thank you for your kind words! I'm sure Anna will appreciate this :) -Calista@TeamFairy
@CrappyChildhoodFairy Hey, thank you for that. Also, thank you, to yourself and the whole "team fairy" (that's a cute @) team. You ladies/fellas are also doing a very good job. What an awesome organization to be a part of.
Have a good day🌺.
@@1T3NDYBRIGHTLIGHTS Thanks very much for this kind comment!
Very uncrappy video, very helpful for uncrappying a crappy childhood.
Thank you
Trauma is stuck inside. Nothing works, talking to counselors, connecting with people , and I’ll even go as far as bringing up having support from family. That’s where it all started from. Trauma lingers and everyone loves to throw their opinions and their judgements at me.. Trauma is forever. I know I am negative but no one cares about me and some people are only nice to me so they can know my business and exploit my pain. Thanks
I feel you. This sounds like my life
Sometimes I think of Gaza and suddenly everything seems easy or lucky.
It could go either way, so I look up and try to go up.
Any trauma symptoms/effects I try to accept them and let them go as in not feeling bad about it or dwelling on it.
I don't really allow myself to indulge in anything besides work, creativity, and things I like, such as comedies on TV.
I know good food plays a role.
Not trying to say do this or that or be this or that..I don't tell myself those things much either.
I just obsess on getting tasks done, staying away from toxic people if I need to, connecting to Nature, etc.
People only want the good things in my life but nobody wants the whole deal that is my life.
It's the only one I have, so I choose to like it !!
Anyway, just thought to comment for no particular reason aside from just being friendly to a random stranger.
Tick that box !!☺️🙋
I have learned the hard way also about who and who not to tell your business to. I have found that working on myself in silence is healing. Lots of things to do where you can avoid toxic people. read books, watch good films, cooking and baking are therapeutic and so is watching these videos. I hope you do something nice for yourself this summer.
Trauma-driven thinking can be discouraging. But never forget: Healing is possible!
Nika@TeamFairy
I had similar thoughts until I read Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents by Lindsay Gibson. It helps you recognize those fake nice folks and those well-intentioned yet clueless counselors who can't help you but can take your money and waste your time.
You're saving lifes here dear
What a nice thing to say to Anna! Thank you! :)
Nika@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy
In almost 37 years of Life, you by far have given me the best advice to heal myself. Although, I know you aren’t a clinical therapist, the advice is true to heart to all of those struggling with childhood traumas etc.
Thank you for leaving this comment! Glad you are here!
Nika@TeamFairy
On the no texting thing, I got a flip phone and had it for about 2 years until I finally got over a lot of that phone obsession. Now I have an iPhone again, but I don't use it obsessively like I used to.
Thank you for this work you do. The change you're creating at least in my world is enormous. Thankful you decided to put your work here for us.❤
10:58 I actually did this on a phone call this week for the first time. I felt a v inappropriate question, and I managed to respond, AFTER I processed it triggering me, and I de-escalated and re-regulated on the fly, consciously. When I think about it, this is such new territory :) thanks and blessing to all who struggle w/ this.
My third therapist didn't focus on the trauma, but on the symptoms. Meditation that I learned from my second therapist has served me wonderfully. I have found a few people who accept me as I am. Most that I encounter in in-person events turn away from me literally.
It's so funny how demanding people are when this is a free video that Anna took the time to make and post. Record the time you left off and just move the little bar to that time when you watch again.
Thank you for appreciating the work!
Nika@TeamFairy
I appreciate all the clarity I get from your videos. Thank you.
Full of Gratitude. Thank you, Dr.
Hey Ann! I love your channel, as a man who spent 8 years with a woman with CPTSD. I was her best advocate for healing. However, she chose to "self-medicate", and for 12 years before meeting me. Ten years with her ex-husband. I had my own trauma thirty years ago, and through therapy and a profound interest in psychology (almost done completing my BA), was able to transcend my pain and suffering. Jordan Peterson has a quote that someone made an art piece out of, "If you have to fight a dragon, you should go to its lair before it comes to your house". I put that on our wall in my house about three years before her symptoms decided she could not trust me, etc., etc.
My point and question to you, and to others that inspire many of us is this: In many, many videos, (MOST), you and others talk about reasons why the CPTSD person chooses the (Wrong) partners. It makes it sound like an excuse for them to have deconstruct a perfectly good partner, one angry outburst of insecurity, (fear), and or, a fawn response, and sometimes both at the same time. Over years of this, like in my case, one's CPTSD limbic brain, (unhealed), can absolutely demolish a 100000% well-meaning, and loving relationship over time, unhealed. Obviously, mine did. I lost her daughter too, as I would constantly make excuses for her mother.
Again, alcohol and thc was her escape. We had fun, but we could never go anywhere because of her symptoms. I didn't understand why all those years why, for instance, she barked at me about my driving 16 times in 16 miles on the way to Christmas Eve dinner at my parents etc., etc.
I am one of the more patient people on the planet, and would love to be with her again, but I am saying to you Ann, she did not choose the "WRONG" partner! I absolutely know what you mean, as to how many with CPTSD do choose wrong partners, but how about a video about mending a relationship with the best partner imaginable!?
Thank you for all that you do!
Wow….Anna…..all of the signs of overwhelm fit especially……50:56 ….51:26 ….. 51:47 ….52:28……I also feel judged by people that can’t understand why I’ve been like this….I just feel stuck…& when I try to attempt putting my life back together after a rough patch of bad things happening & completely shutting down….I feel too exhausted & overwhelmed almost immediately…..I have just enough energy to get myself to work & trying to keep my job….I did experience a trauma when I very young & had a less than sympathetic mother but I was able to overcome it & keep my life organized & put together until several events happened & I lost myself & gave up. You are the first creator/coach that has explained EXACTLY where I am at the moment & the way this feels…♥️
Thanks for the timestamps!
Yup. Growing up in crappy childhood. Made me feel and believe had to know it all all ready and up front …..
This is Your Best video yet !!! 👍💗👍💗👍💗
Thank you your videos have been really resonating with me lately
Gosh, I love listening to your videos. Thank you for being such a supportive resource on the internet.
I love your vids. Please continue. You do say life-changing things and you give me hope.
As a trauma therapist surrounded by many other trauma therapists, please know that the field is full of us! And we all know the importance of working with the nervous system. Polyvagal, Somatic Experiencing, EMDR, tapping, Sensorimotor, IFS, etc, etc, etc. The field is full of this! Please make sure your listeners know to look specifically for these therapists, rather than painting the field as all "talk therapy." Sounds like you saw people who saw and nodded their heads in empathy, but did little else and I agree, that's not helpful. But a good therapist will absolutely call you on your sh*t when appropriate!! Please don't broad brush the entire field 🙏
Thank you 😊
YES!
I love the last part of this video, so uplifting!! 🙌
Love how you refer to the big book about the dubious luxury we can not afford!
Thank u so much for your videos. They helped me a lot with realizing and defining what's really wrong with me and that's the first step to healing I guess. You're amazing!
So glad you are here!
Nika@TeamFairy
Emotional freedom technique (EFT) has helped me also!
Boy, I needed to hear this, this week. It's been rough. Thank you, Anna.
Hang in there!
Nika@TeamFairy
@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Thank you, Nika 🙏
Saint Dymphna pray for me!🙏
Amen to the 12 steps. I’m grateful today for staying consistent with myself and attending a meeting once a week and reading writing the steps. I am just now starting to really understand how they apply to me, especially the laundry list. Thank You Anna for your added videos to open my new brain!
Thanks for sharing! -Calista@TeamFairy
I loved The Laura ingalls series. Thank you for everything you share.
You make me feel so understood and motivated to make steps towards my change ❤
You got this :) -Calista@TeamFairy
Thank you! These videos are a gift from god .
I'm so glad the videos have been helpful! -Calista@TeamFairy
Very helpful video. Thanks!
I'm so glad the video was helpful! -Calista@TeamFairy
This is such a good one fairy. Thx!
I had a partner over the last 2 years tell me i was over reacting to things and I was imagining.. everything i felt or saw or even when he wasnt telling the truth hed convince me I was seeing it the wrong way. He is a master gaslighter and tbh, Im starting to wonder if he even knows what hes doing because he cant seem to stop it for one second even tho he knows im about to stop talking to him for good.. and thats not what he wants.. but he continues anyways.. its really quite crazy to watch him in action because youre just left in complete awe and disbelief as you listen to him. I was getting so exacerbated and overly frustrated with it I felt like I was shaking inside. I know i can over react a little here and there but Ive never ran into it like I do with him. I was convinced every word out of his mouth wasnt true to some extent.. I just never got the real story. I was so sure it wasnt me going nuts that one day I left my phone in the livingroom on voice record and I went to bed... i know.. scummy thing to do but he was literally making me feel insane I just had to for my own sanity. Well, sure enough my suspicions were right. The things I had brought up to him over that weekend were true, the things i felt were going on.. he told me i was imagining it all then even went as far as getting angry with me for suggestion he is lying... and I was right the whole time, I wasnt imagining anything. I couldnt tell him i recorded but i finally had what i needed to just tell him i knew he was lying and if he wasnt honest with me our relationship was over... i BEGGED him to stop lying and he just kept doing it. Im now back home 4 days later and still insanely frustrated and im trying to cut him out 100%. What an awful thing to do to someone.. gaslighting them. He literally made me think i was insane and couldnt trust my own intuition and it was making me feel crazy inside. I seriously thought something was wrong with me and that I had serious problem.. he really did a number on me and Im stunned I let it happen.
Hang in there!
Nika@TeamFairy
Now you know that you Can trust yourself. Move forward with your head held high. You got this. You deserve better than that. Mentally thank him for teaching you that you do know what is what. I say this because I have been there.
I wish you all the best.
❤
An awakening ❤
Wahahahah THE OLE WALK IN THE WOODS..or the ole coffee date, yikes . Sorry, I'm reflecting here on my previous experience where my entire thinking was distorted and I knew it but I went for it anyways. Yikes 😬
Exactly BUT...when you're a nurse, you were abused by your management (replica of guardians) and coworkers (replica of siblings), then, you become a patient of....medical neglect during the plandemic Spring 2020, so, not all of us have our traumas in the past and aren't letting it go. In some cases, the patterns are constant, chronic and ongoing (and working hard to stop that cycle but like in the physical medicine world, for every year some one has autoimmune disease, takes a month to work towards healing it with the multi-system approach, the right tests, the right meds, the right diet, the right pillars of health, eeeeetc, same with the mind. If trauma continues on, how the heavens and heck can you "stop talking about the past" when the same types of trauma are continuing on?! Just adding that for others who are in the similar boat. Thank you, I love you, I'm grateful to God for you, and I know I'm not alone in all of the above, and what I just said about you. Thank you!!!!!
Why do you call the pandemic a plandemic?
You are so insightful and well-spoken. Nurse here. Thank you for sharing this.❤🙏🏽
Having a talk therapist is not having support at all. Your paying someone to hear you. Paying! That's not support thats an employee. It never helped me. It actually just pissed me off
For some people who have no one healthy enough to hear them, it can be very helpful to have someone who is highly trained who can listen, validate, encourage and challenge unhelpful thoughts in a way that improves the healing process. Not all therapists are good, and sometimes even a good therapist can be a bad fit, and sometimes therapy just doesn’t help, but for some people, therapy can be very helpful. Also, sometimes some people have things that are just too much trauma for friends to hear. Treating friends like therapists can be harmful and it can be appropriate to pay someone to be a compassionate listener and supporter instead of harming relationships and other people with trauma dumping.
and they literally don't say anything, talking to a wall is cheaper :) 🧱
You need to find a good therapist to have a good therapy and good results, what you describe is far from being therapy.
Bless u so much 🙏🏼 u are absolutely brilliant and u give so much love with so much of the information that u give...thanku so much ❤ so much help to so many people so much healing opportunities from u...thanku thanku thanku so much ❤
The person who wants to farm and loves to teach - perhaps you could combine these. When I was in school, we would go on field trips sometimes to visit farms, especially for classes like Horticulture. If making a living just by farming wouldn’t be enough, perhaps you could offer classes for kids or adults to learn how to do things like raise chickens, or plant and grow things, etc…
I was on the other hand. I was in an open marriage. I chose a person who doesn’t know how to show real emotions. Only in person she would show real affection and desire. But in the phone, She held on to things I did wrong wouldn’t say anything but when I would be direct and want to talk about the issues I have in this relationship she would turn it around “ guess I’m not enough again”… but when she would then call me out for stuff, I had the response of apologizing and wanting to work things out. While she would just shut down and go for days weeks and or months without talking to me. She is an Aquarius and she goes silent. I’m an Aries, I compliment because that’s my nature of pouring into her but hers were more responsive compliments. It just never came out of the blue without her being prompted. In the beginning she was attentive and then later she just acted more like a friend-enemy than a girlfriend. Not a sex addict. It was someone I went to school with and later met in life. It seemed so perfect till I started noticing how she reacted to treating issues. She just wouldn’t face them together. She always wanted to face them alone. She and I both have no kids. My wife and I agreed to an open marriage and there was transparency with this relationship. But we no longer together. Even though I broke up with her in the end. I did want to work on us but she just wants to hold on to things and never want to talk stuff out and work on us. Even now still she just hasn’t reached out still. It just sucks cause I never treated her or talked about her like she was a side person. I loved her as a life partner. I no longer conform to colonial brainwashing one man one woman.
Your videos are very helpful. Thank you Crappy Childhood Fairy!! ❤️
I could never relate to that "inner child" sruff too.
Entertaining episode.
Married people not content with having someone by their side, taking far more than their fair share, basically denying others by being greedy.
They figure out the formula for conning up others, and then abuse that power.
Meanwhile many of us would love to have someone to love, but are not the conniving conner uppers who know how to manipulate so well.
Funny on the face of it.
Ok I'm a nightmare but at least I enjoy my own company enough to still be here.
I'll quit while I'm ahead.
Yes I had extreme childhood abuse and neglect. I am trying to deal with adult trauma. WAR. With the horrific attack in Israel on 7 Oct set me back to war memories
Hang in there!
Nika@TeamFairy
I need a friend like you. I am now living in isolation and I hate it. I am wasting my life. I cannot figure out what is wrong with me. I may have suffered mental, emotional, relational neglect as a child- it seems I was the scapegoat- actually my mother once took me to a counselor to “fix” me but the counselor had the entire family come. I heard much later from my sister who was not there and did not even attend because she was away in college, that my mother never went back because she felt that the counselor was blaming her for everything and of course I was the problem so that she did not have to look at her own problems. My sister also told me that the counselor told her I was the family scapegoat. I was in my teens when we went to that counselor and my sister didn’t tell me that until I was in my 40s because my family only talks through my mother. I suppose it’s called triangulation. I was completely ignorant to this stuff, but my sister and mother were always trying to fix me my whole life. Now that mom is in memory care and I am the only one caring for mom- even though she still talks me down and tells to my face when I try to hard to help her. Well- my sisters are completely out of the picture- we do not even talk nor do they see mom. And my father was euthanized in a hospital in 2015. So he’s not around. But I feel most my trauma has been recent. The past 10 years of tragedies. But I am very confused and feel worse than ever now at age 59.
Hang in there! You are in the right place and we hope you'll find Anna's content helpful!
Nika@TeamFairy
I agree that weekly appointments are not enough, but in my therapy I integrate a lot of somatic healing practices like havening, somatic regulation, meditation and visualizations. I wish more therapists also integrated these techniques for healing.
Renée is at least in a job at a small business which makes it all the more easier to leave. There's lots of options out there for her.
College is great if you already know what your passion is before applying. Applying with the expectation that the degree will give you a job is not what post secondary school ensures.
Some of these letters remind me of Jane Austen's novel Mansfield Park.
Medication usually only masks symptoms especially with mental issues
Talk therapy is the worst therapy for me.... But CBT has helped me a lot.
Life workd woth play and silliness. Intuition is the key
Thank you for this 💞🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💞👊
No contact. Just let it go. Quit taking any kind of responsibility for him or his perceptions. If Renee is not choosing a romantic relationship or affair with this player, she has zero justification for contacting him or engaging with him, in ANY way. Change your job. Identify him as poison. Run. Get free from your problem of getting involved with him. He uses women. You don’t spend time alone with any married man. Next time, ask his wife if they have an open marriage in advance, if you can’t figure it out yourself that this is pointless and wrong. It won’t give you the love you want. It can’t. Quit your job. Move on with your life without swimming in this poison pool.
I have this wife, and woooow can she be straight with me! Unfortunately I usually end up a crumbled bucket of tears and impotent rage. It’s very attractive of course.
She’s usually right, which is why it’s so devastating.
No idea how to handle it so I try to avoid it which makes everything worse. I’m working on it. This channel helps so much, thank goodness for The Crappy Childhood Fairy!
Hang in there! Glad you found this channel helpful. Good luck on your healing journey!
Nika@TeamFairy
My counselor calls me out on my sheet and he gives zero flicks on how you feel about it. He states facts and the sooner you can see that, and come to terms with it, the faster you'll begin to heal.
Thank you ❤. (From India)
Worst thing about talking about your weeknesses is people seeing the invitation to run all over you and take over, supposedly knowing exactly what you must do and hiw you are seeing your own situation all wrong.
Ty for ur podcast's.
I don't feel alone.
We're so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy
So good ..thank you ❤
I'm a farmer, I would rather be a postal worker.
No you don't, that job will drive you crazy! At least in 🇨🇦 it is! 🙄
Lol yeah I should've been a doctor 😂.
You are incredible
Oh, man.. Renne, that's just an awful situation you got yourself into.
I hope you left that job, with him and his whole family there. You don't need that.
And on the "confusion" about no-contact - we all have the right and responsibility to stop talking and seeing a person who is intent on keeping us in a painful, destructive relationship.
It would only seem you're giving the silent treatment, if you decided to stay there, where you see him every day, and ignore him. That makes no sense, why would you put yourself through this? 💔
Good video lesson thanks
I'm so glad the video was helpful! -Calista@TeamFairy
"Samantha" could do UA-cam videos about what she is learning about farming. Who knows where it could go?!
All of this is exactly how I feel. I think hmm I could eat a bowl of icecream and an hour later I'm dysregulated, exhausted from a panic attack, shaking or sweaty, crying, pages of writing full of angst, angry, dissociated, anxious, completely dissociated from my surroundings and mentally on fire with thoughts and flashbacks. And cant remember eating icecream cos i wasnt thinking about it when i ate it.
Hang in there!
Nika@TeamFairy
hey Anna, just want to leave some feedback. your channel has helped me a lot and I often come back to your videos to get grounded when I get out of sorts again. Im sure you've picked up on the rising popularity of long form content on UA-cam, and I'm one of the many people who consume it. However, when it comes to your videos, I prefer the shorter ones that are addressing a specific topic. Complex PTSD is indeed complex and it makes it very hard to see the big picture. I find I need reminders very often because I am inclined to doubt my own perception, and "losing the plot" leads me to rock bottom every time. It's something I like about Pete walkers book. I read it over and over in small pieces. I've been finding it a little hard to navigate your channel in a way that is helpful for me. I also find your letter videos a little harder to digest than the ones where you speak to the camera directly. Although I understand that it's hard to make something from nothing all the time. It's just that when I'm deregulated as I often am when I come to your channel, the introduction of someone else's story is distracting.
The letters are extremely popular. I suggest if video length is what you prefer, check the running time before you watch. There are hundreds of shorter teaching videos.
All my relationships began with causal sex and all but one ended with trauma or the other person cheating. I'm working on me, 8 months of trauma therapy helped a little, but I have to pretty much write my own protocol to heal and deal with my rumination and abandonment pain.
Hang in there!
Nika@TeamFairy
This married father is entertained by affairs. Do you want to be the show? Who cares if he claims it’s alright with his wife. (It’s not, by the way). It can’t be alright for you. A married man who is soon to have a baby, is not a good relationship prospect. Raise your standards. Don’t be emotionally involved or available to a married person. Just don’t. It’s not respectful to you. You’re an adult, and it’s important to stay out of other peoples marriages, and see their preference for infidelity as an indication that that’s not going to be healthy or good for you to be with a cheater, who is married, and words don’t change those facts.
Whoo-hoo !!! FINALLY!!! I Totally Agree with you. 1,000,000,000 👍 1:17:36 👍👍👍👍 !!!
I Am So Sick of hearing people say, that we should feel sorry for these "children in adult suits, ...". Barfaroni.
So glad to hear you, on you tube, say That's nonsense.
All of us have issues.
All of us have traumas ; Some people just have more extreme traumas. But enough of the, children in adult suits. That's just a Lame Excuse for their behavior. 🙄😌😌😌 I Love your program bcz, you tell it like it is, from your own experiences, too. Too many people go to doctor$, who just want to "fix them," by giving them a pill. & what do the drs. Do ?? Listen. No answers. No encouragement. Just more pill$... I have a neighbor like that. She's fun, & funny...
But when we get to talk, I share my childhood memories, which are traumatic; but I encourage her, that she's not the only one. We All go through stuff, & some moreso than others... But I encourage her so we don't dwell on the past; & she knows, she's not the only one.
I don’t think this is what she meant at all.
I think what she is saying is
To have compassion yet not sympathy. You cannot control another person and you cannot dictate their journey and most people can’t do the journey. They are comfortable where they are at. You cannot fix a hole in the wall if you are not aware it is there.
Laundry list trait - we confuse love & pity & tend to choose people we can pity and rescue.
Honestly as someone who has been diagnosed with Cptsd you just made it sound like therapists do not like dealing with ppl who have Cptsd. You want us to fix it ourselves and talk therapy doesn’t help, but u want friends and family to call us out bc as u say we are lying.
My therapist is a trauma specialist and she's helped me a lot personally, so I also disagree somewhat with Anna, but I know how hard it can be to find a good therapist.
Thank you. 50:44 me to a T right now.
Totally
What if there's not a career that draws me in? What if there's no "goals" that make me feel like that's what I want to achieve?
You're an amazing woman. I wish I could talk to you.
So glad that I came across your tunnel
I fixed everybody now i'm Alone
I am actually surprised that the parents did not find a way to terminate her employment.
well, she mentioned she's european.. oit depends on which country she's in, but employees are usually protected by the law and it's VERY difficult to get rid of an employee... I'd rather like to know why she stayed in that job... it had to be quite a hostile work environment for quite a bit..
Those parents raised that manipulative man and are still right there by his side.
Not likely that they would change anything unless he wants it changed.
It's the tree from which the apple fell.
@@2bNot good point
@johnharrison2511 so long as they were not the target of his bad behavior all was good for them...
@@marlenestewart7442Yes, good point. It can be like a riddle sometimes to work out human psychology.
When you said "I'm surprised", that was the clue for me...
Good Luck to You ☺️🙋
“Who amount us is going to hold the line”
I've always hated causal sex, felt cheap, and even having sex really early on in a relationship. I never pushed it on my gfs, but it felt like they wanted to, so I did it, just to please them or get it out of the way, after that it never felt the same. My relationships just end up only being about sex, and never really getting to know each other, and I'd just shut down, and I can tell they can see that. This past year I dated someone 13 years older than me, and I told them flat out I didn't want to push into a relationship, but they kept pushing for one. I honestly don't know what went wrong, but I think it was cause she was an extrovert and I am a introvert, and she was pushing for a relationship to quick, also she didn't listen to some of my complaints and maybe I didn't talk about my complaints either. I felt like I was drowning, and needed space. I like having alone time, and she just couldn't give me any, and anytime I'd ask she'd want to break up or wonder why.
He was an imaginary person. Text can create personna’s. They’re not real persons. He is a player. Text is how he played. You did too.
Nah here in Chico CA seems more like they wanna refer you to meds first then talk therapy
Belief system taught at school
Also its free content ! Show Graditude !
Ok, Karen .
If I was Renee.. 1) resign from her toxic work environment.. 2) apply for unemployment and public assistance-( food stamps,section 8,Medicare,medicaid etc)... And if she is mentally disabled 3) Apply for SSDI-( Social Security Income Disability ).
4) find as many social programs as possible to help her child can get as mentally stable as possible...
I have tried so much for so long and nothing helped. I am lost and lonely. CPTSD has robbed me of my life and the woman I could have been. I am desperate.
Trauma-driven thinking can be discouraging. But never forget: Healing is possible! Daily Practice (a free course) can be a good first step: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice. If you want to go deeper, Anna has a whole course on Healing Childhood PTSD: bit.ly/CCF_HCPTSD
Nika@TeamFairy
❤yes to reading before sleep instead of horrid phone light +noise
❤I like doin a little ritual 🎶
Reflection on this day💫
Goin thru the day ...
💚Thankyou's
💛Forgive me 's...picturing how to do it differently next time
🧡i Love you's ...could be feelings states n places too
And Wishing for Tomorrow 🎶
Picturing Imagining Dreaming
...where i can ask guides and Angels in to the party ...
It can go on for some time like a magical flying carpet flying me into dreamtime 💜💦
🥰🌻🥰🌻🥰🌻🥰🌻thankyU🥰🌻
I'm at the point I made so many bad decisions.And I loud psychopaths and myself.Always try to fix people.I don't love anymore
I’m sorry to hear that, everyone deserves unconditional love. I can understand & relate to giving up on love from trauma, but I personally believe life with a partner is worth the risk. It’s just a matter of finding the right type of person. I hope you find someone who is amazing to you someday.
@@viewviewview1236 I’m aware of that. The problem is that many people who have toxic shame after trauma, & think they’re terrible people, even though they’re not. That’s why I didn’t specify. By saying terrible people Id mean psychopaths, sexual predators, abusive people etc., but CPTSD survivors can think that’s them. Often as a result of multiple traumas they carry undeserved shame, feel they’re terrible people even think they’re responsible or deserve the trauma they’ve endured, but they are victims. They usually have a negative, distorted view of themselves when they shouldn’t. Even affecting how they physically see themselves, making them see themselves as ugly & differently than reality.
Sorry, long I know. I’ve spent a wild amount of time reading all books, medical sites, reports/research, treatment material, acquired tools and workbooks recommended by doctors. To research CPTSD symptoms, the causes, spiraling, shame, guilt and any subject connected possible. In efforts to help someone important to me struggling to see psychiatrists. While, I’m no professional, I’m consistently able to support, give positive reinforcement, point out distorted self views they can’t distinguish, teach coping skills and provided information helping them understand they’re experiencing CPTSD symptoms that can be reduced. Seeing the struggle, the pain, confusion, & all the knowledge I’ve gained left me passionate. Instilled a need to reassure any who may be going through the same whenever I can. It’s more important to me those struggling understand they deserve love than to be specific that serial killers, etc. don’t.
@@severlst2293 Thank you so much for taking the time out to say that period no one's ever said that to me
Thank you so much@@severlst2293
I recommend you to write which are the personality traits of the people you want to surround yourself with. And feel like you deserve to be with people that is already fixed.
Be mindful because some people goes around “fixing others” because in that way they can control others and make them “stay” because they now “need you” or “owe you something”.
Other people try to fix others because they don’t think they are valuable or don’t have self esteem and it makes them feel worthy or good about themselves.
The problem is that when we give from LACK or need, we won’t get anything good back.
Also because mostly you will have little respect for yourself (living for others but not taking care of you!) and over giving to people (not knowing to say no, not respecting your own time and resources) and when YOU don’t respect yourself the other people won’t respect you.
I hope this could shine some light. We all are valuable just for BEING.
😘😘
Thank you CHERISHEDchildhoodfairy we cherish you
Truth #7 - show to SW
I think she might know the physical work but not the business work. If she grew up on a farm she would see the physical in action...but the business part would not be given to a child.
You’ve mentioned 12 step groups How do I find a group near LA ?
Google it. They are everywhere.
Listen just listen
If I was Renee.. I would go on unemployment and public assistance until she can be employed effectively..
And if Renee Cannot.. get a lawyer and get SSDI-( Social Security Disability Income )...
Renee... Is in a... HOT MESS!!
CPTSD
Childhood PTSD or Complex PTSD
Officially "Complex PTSD". She and many others call it "Childhood PTSD" because it basically always develops through childhood.
complex means it's more than one episode
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