Danish, agree they are controlling with their partner but why are they chickens when a figure of authority puts them in their place? They never fight back or stand up for themselves. My ex would walk away from tricky situations then threaten to ruin that person after the event. His ego hurt, he would go into a shell or panic but not fight back.
The best way to spot a narcissist is if you always feel bad around them. Guilty, tired, drained, discouraged, sad or depressed. Just by entering the room, they immediately affect the mood of a group in a negative way.
Exactly! When I was as young as 10, I wanted to build a life of my own - my living space, my finances, my business, and my healthy and loving relationships. My parents' mere presence suffocated me. I knew something was off about them. They thought with the confusion they created, I would never amount to anything. I quietly started working away at studies and excelling till they themselves gave the opportunity to walk away from them, thinking I was of no use to them. Thank the Universe I got out of that mentally sick whirl, and am thriving a world away from them. I know they are baffled as to how I escaped their clutches. Let them be in their hell.
@@simonpegg1196 How good that you escaped. Congratulation! I wish you a good life! The advantage of your experience is that you can recognize narcissists immediately and stay away.
@@riekaakier1526 Thank you Rieka! Actually, there are a lot more of them burdening the world with their presence that we would like to imagine. Best to stay away.
i agree with everything, but the last paragraph, i dont know about that, narcissistic usually has charisma, etc. but once you hang out with them, and get to know them even after many decades, you'll know after being a target. cant explain myself well right now, just sleepy, i have sleepless night from toxicity. just giving back what they are doing to me.
True lol, example: i mention that I've started taking running seriously and that I've started doing around 50km a week. Their response: well I've been running AND swimming and I'm going to start cycling as well! 😂
I’ve noticed that, about an 80 percent chance of it, like a 20 percent chance of saying something positive to you but I’m aware now that’s only because they want you to think they a decent dude, my friend was a covert narcissist and that’s what I’ve noticed, recently cut him out my life and life’s been a lot better
When it’s a parent you are robbed of your childhood. Then, once you’re out of their grip (if you even ever make it out) you have to unlearn all the coping mechanisms which are impacting your adult life negatively. Survivors of this sort of abuse are made of strong stuff.
They hate themselves. They have to live with themselves. They want you to hate yourself. The enemy to them is someone that loves themself so much that they refuse to be abused.
@renegadeprincess8599 Very True. And as raised by a perv narc mother it took me time to love myself . But on the other hand, i get very distant, even reacting a little agressive towards people or a situation where i feel invaded by negativity or criticism from someone not knowing me at all... I sound like i am getting angry inside, style " mind your own business". Or "cut the crap, just forget i exist and get lost", or "fu*k off of my cloud" . As you say i refuse to be abused anyhow or by anyone again. Basta ! Be Well a french in France Liberty Equality Fraternity
They feel so proud of their work if you are sad, weak, passive, angry and other negative behaviours so of course being happy is the worst for them (and for you too, they will start a war against your happiness).
"You and YOUR problems are stressing me out!" "Stop being such a baby, wahhhh, see look, I'm you." "It's your fault." "I think that's a you problem." "How dare you..." "You are sooo stupid"
@@stanleylim9753 The reason why is that narcissist's have an extremely large and overly sensitive ego and blaming someone else is a way for the narcissist to avoid responsibility and shame.
A narcissic can be anyone who refuses responsibility and perceives the world as revolving around them. A suspicious principle of free market capitalism . A religion more popular than any other since genesis began. Come down from your high horse hombre for God and Christ need no steed.
They are like toddlers really, but hot-tempered toddlers. theyll start fights for the smallest things ever. and when theyre blamed they respond wih "im always the one wrong!?" "im always to blame!" or smthng
A narcissistic person wants you to love them. With no love In return. However, they pick who they love, sometimes. To bring attention to themselves, as a caring person. To impress others outside their family. Thus, reinforcing their ego. Then, becoming just the opposite with a member of their own family. A Doctor Jekyll and Mr.Hyde type person.
Yesssssss! I knew one and she stated these word's " I want unconditional love". I responded to her " so you think your ex husband should take you back even though you cheated on him and made a child with someone else "? Her response was " yes he should and he definitely shouldn't have left me because of that". 😳
Yes this anger is triggered by their own mental illness and they are actually constantly suffering their own karma and so being in a hellish state they lash out at others who are happier and of great mental health due to inner jealousy and hatred
Oh my God I could not have said it better myself it is so true that it is scary I am in that situation with a person like that and that is exactly how they are it is frightening and yes they are envious that you are in a better mental state and are happier than they are and they want to tear you down and break you down until there's nothing left of you and and if you're strong because they usually are not that is why they do the things they do they can't stand it
Or out of proportion to the situation.... the envelope didn't tear straight, dropped a spoon, his sock has a hole.... all end in volcanic eruptions. When everything requires an angry, yelling, cussing eruption, the anger is meaningless. There is no distinction between a minor irritation and something that is really a problem. It used to absolutely crush me when he would start yelling and cussing. Anymore, I am so numb to it, I just shrug and walk away because 99.99% of the time, it's nothing that I can 'fix' for him and it's usually something that any normal person would blow off as a daily occurrence.
My favorite analogy right now is a drill sergeant. "They way I see it ladies, you owe me for one jelly doughnut!" The trigger is not the jelly doughnut. It's the insubordination, and there is no limit to the amount of abuse and punishment that must be brought to bear for that. ua-cam.com/video/5NP8y63Ms4o/v-deo.html
Yes this happens to me alot even when they have started attacking me an being verbally abusive an overactive for affect. They love to play victim. I want out been surrounded by these personalities since a child it was only my late husband who wasnt anything like this an a lovely person. All the evidence of how a man should treat his lady with respect an it just worked. I only met this monster through being young, widowed an lonely. They really love the silent treatment. I get that twice a week along with rages.
@@lelediamondASMR yes I have been dealing with this as a child too. And still in these days I'm dealing with it. I love you one minute hate you next let's be friends let's not be friends it's so confusing at times.Peace and grace be with us.
@@nanacandy they do that to keep you off balance. They also brake up with you multiple times even if it's just for a day. It's all to gain power an control. They love threats aswell an raising their voice to assert themselves as powerful. All us empaths need to do is realise an know they are crazy and to put up a wall to protect ourselves an never trust them with your heart they will only abuse again. Or rage on you for something that's nothing to do with you but to do with their empty selves.
yes! That's it! Totally nailed it!!! I pegged this man 3mo in but kinda blew it off for another 3mo and couldn't handle the insanity of it all he's blocked n deleted! 👏
I had to deal with a more than one narcissist at the same time for years and years. It really almost killed me. It's so hard to deal with loved ones, family members and friends who are abusive and have narcissistic personality disorder.
Luke 12:53 NLT Father will be divided against son and son against father; mother against daughter and daughter against mother; and mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.
In my experience, the narcissists I dealt with often took disagreements, concerns and questions very personally. One of them would even snap, turn into a rage and become extremely condescending and rude. He even said "You better listen to me, you have zero audacity. look at how stupid you are" (even other people agree with me), and he pointed his finger at his head and made gun sounds. He also misunderstood everything in said on purpose and accused me of saying things i never said.
This is a story about. Petr who was heartbroken by his lover Annabelle At first, there were this dream couple everyone wished or rather still looked up to in admiration of their cuteness and love which there both share Growing up, Petr always got everything, the Brains, grades, loves and attention. Meanwhile Petr grew up into becoming a tech guy, and got married to his childhood sweetheart Annabelle, there both were a thing of joy to glimpse on through, well things got so well and there were this perfect dream couple Month passed by and Annabelle started going off on her childhood sweetheart Petr, but whenever there both left the house, it always seems things were going on smoothly for the love lovebirds. Month passed by and years followed, still there were looking like this evergreen perfect couples, like an eagle flying above the sky for the little birds and fowls to look-up to and wish there was the ones looking so happy and fly as Petr and Annabelle was Alas Petr was going through an emotional abuse and trauma in their long lost love relationship but coming out and calling it a no no to their existing old lost love was such a difficult task for Petr to do Petr was this brainaic tech guy who at the early stage of their marriage noticed the sudden change of Annabelle's attitudes, she got this narc traits from day one but the saying which goes love is blind overshadowed his sense of reasoning as at that time, well a chip click encryption was entailed on his wife's phone by Petr just to confirm to him his fears, there were all TRUE, an Affair going on behind his back by his wife, Shaking His Head he ....... decided to keep it on or what ?? perhaps you want to get the full details of their time and relationship, struggles and more info into their life and .. Find out what happened later on after Petr the tech guy got to know about his wife's dealings, Now Petr's programming company called "pettoolzzz" where he helps out with persons who got issues with spouses LOYALTY, narcissist victims support, he helps track mobile phone calls, gain access to all messages,facebook and instagram chats, emails, and lots more in getting hardcore real evidences about your partners. DON'T HIDE IN SILENCE NO MORE, IF YOU NOTICE ANY RED FLAGS🚩IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, WAIT NO MORE PETR IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE AND WELCOMES ALL, SOMEONE WITH A FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE WITH NARCS @ "PETTOOLZZZ 💌 come get a valid loyalty tests on your partners and know where your loyalty stands link below to Instagram👇 instagram.com/pettoolzzz/ Instagram handle: PETTOOLZZZ
Of course. Welcome to the unique world of total mental gymnastics, aka NPD. It is literally all ‘upside down’…so much so that at times one ask oneself ‘ Either this is not normal or I am entirely ‘crazy’ I spent over a decade, had kids within the same dynamic I learned later on I originally already came from by proxy ( family of origin). I am trying to break the cycle, I got out and on to trying to make sense to it all, so that the genogram pattern can be broken. It is so murky, so complex and deeply rooted that I can no longer define myself as one or the other. It is surely both ways the same initiate circumstance of human nature. Adversity causes intrinsic circuit breaks, family systems theory and the genealogy understanding of attachment styles helped me through the process of red pill swallowing. However once you see it, you can’t unsee it. Clearly I realized that O am as much part of the problem as I could be towards trying to possibly understand and integrate that understanding so that there is some form of disruptive awareness, a pattern interruption, interception of the magnitude to people thought, if not change. It is a lonely road, when there a whole family systems being sabotaged by pathologies, that are very complex and easily misinterpreted or misjudged.
@@doreenplischke2169 The truth is that the have this hidden Narc freemason where they all gather in monthly meetings. This is done to fine tune their text book skills of abuse.
Oh how the narcissists suffer. It's really sad isn't it ? The truth would set them free, if they could only delve deep into their rotten emotions of shame which are hidden so far deep down inside their psyche, that they cannot be retrieved ever. It's hopeless. Only God can set them free. You and I cannot free the narcissist from their shame, because it's hidden so deeply inside of them, but we must pray for their souls, while we go no contact. The narcissist will never stop trying to drag you down.
They hate everybody for some reason, maintain a good face with who is temporarily useful but justify their lack of social life or real friends with being "special", too smart for others or the black sheep of society (experience 😅)
My mother was narcissistic. I was the youngest. I watched most from afar, but she was abused as a child. I always understood that for some reason. But I married a narcissist. Very scary and everything you say is true. I left to save myself. Only those who live this fully understand.
After being married to narc for many years I had no idea he was a narc until after we separated when I started learning about NPD I couldn’t believe that there was all kinds of people walking around that were like my ex. It was like the sky opened up for me I finally saw what this man was putting me through narcissistic abuse. We have been apart for a couple of years but I still am going through PTSD I suffer from depression and anxiety and I finally understand why. He was like the text book narc. I was always trying to please him because one minute he was loving and kind and the next he would be screaming swearing and putting me down just because I didn’t agree with him to top it all off he was an alcoholic and a cheater as well I honestly don’t know if I will ever heal from all the trauma I went through . The sooner you get out of theses relationships the better. They only get worse.
@Maria S It might take some work and some time, but I think you will get better. I was with a narc for over 35 years and, through a lot of prayer and trauma therapy, I'm healing slowly. There is more trauma than I was aware of from my childhood, so I have to take care of that, too, to heal completely. I'll keep you in my prayers 🙏🏻🤗🙏🏻
I totally agree and understand what you went through as I just finished my marriage with a Narcissist of 37 years,BC If it wasn't for the information contained within these fantastic videos, I probably wouldn't be here today,I too have PTSD, Depression, Anxiety and Sleepless nights BC it will take Years to bring back my self worth 😢🤷🏻♀️, another thing that hurts me worse is that all his 5 kids are Narcissists also,so???? Yes, you've guessed it,they all blame me!!! I'm Broken to millions of heartaches which will last for many years although now at least I can see clearly now BECAUSE OF THIS VIDEO ,AND MANY OTHERS 🙋🏻♀️💞💯
@Maria S My ex husband who I was with for many years died in 2020 with COVID. I left him in 2000. I am living a good life now. At the time I decided to leave, I felt I guilty about so many things. Our children, my catholic upbringing, how my family would take it. We lived away from my family and I had no friends of my own. I told him I wasn’t living like this any more. He was enraged, implied to his friend he had a shotgun and a huge police pursuance happened, in a sleepy town in Devon UK. He self harmed in front of my children. We ended up in a refuge. It was hard, really hard. Bit by bit I got my life back together. Nothing was worse than being with him and the effect he had on me and my children. I had hypnotherapy, used whatever self help I could get for free. I never went on medication. I sometimes dwell on periods of my past life, but nothing is as bad as it was then. I walked right into it with rose coloured spectacles on. Never again. It will get better.
Ive known around 25 law enforcement officers. Out of those 25 there was only 3 that were actually faithful to thier wives. Some of the others had two girlfriends. One officer who had matching Harleys made for him and her. He had to keep them at a her apartment on the back porch. Some guys would be totally happy with one girlfriend and be happy to have her yet alone two or three. Even though they're law enforcment and should no better. Ive heard them jokingly saying criminals are so stupid thier GREED always seems to get them caught.. 🤣
I've worked with a narcissist and it's funny how many don't get reactivate or angry when it's in front of the public. Yes when there triggered they do use anger and aggression, that's because there just cowardly bullies.
Yes that's what they are using anger to shut you up. Sister husband has shown me a side no one knows. The rage abuse physical violence looks demonic. Five minutes after he does this a mask put on the innocent victim suffering at my hands went and cut himself and told sister I hurt him after he punched me repeatedly on my head and kicked me in my tummy. I wanted to die but that will just please him so keep trying to find someone to help as he is so meek and helpful to people no one would believe me.
Yes! They seem to feed off of others reacting to their abuse. Sit quietly, kindly, and healthily in front of their episodes and they have nothing to respond to but their own poor mental health.
Any tiny thing can be perceived by them as the worst personal insult ever. They think that gives them a free pass to say anything to get even. Especially if the insult is the word “no” 😂
The weird part about it is how much they are in control of their emotions while doing so only behind closed doors. Sometimes everyone outside their door except for whoever they live with ends up believing they have such a good attitude towards life.
Spot on. Criticise a narcissist, even gently or about something minor, & in my experience they can go crazy. Even unknown to me, they stored up their rage. Then, later that day boom! They kicked off. They could get very nasty & even viscious.
Mine would be “the bigger person” with others, hiding anger or feelings of insult they caused. I think she felt powerless or didn’t know how to deal with them. “ Then she’d unleash that anger on the helpless family at the slightest provocation. She would find a pretext to blow up.
The narcs in my life can explode all they want. My sister in law treated me and my wife like crap hiding behind my brother who's also a narc. Three years later he got caught keeping a side chick. Now they're stuck in a loveless marriage. See how that works? So yeah I say keep at it
This describes approximately 90% of people on Social Media. When they start name calling or try to control my thoughts, that's my sign. Exit stage left.
It’s a sad life for the family that have a narcissist in it especially if it is a parent that is the narcissist. As a child you can feel hopeless and helpless.
@Starlight Sky…..My entire family were narcissists…..and most were also psychopaths. I didn’t realize this until these last four years….when I started watching videos on UA-cam, explaining all of these behaviors. I always knew that something was ‘off’ within my family, but since I was the youngest of four kids, they pulled rank on me all of the time….which consequently, made me feel like I was the defective one. I am ‘unpacking’ all of this now. It’s been quite the learning curve to try to heal from all of this sick abuse. All that kind of upbringing does to one, is to ‘groom’ you to marry a narcissist…..you know? Because that is one’s ‘normal’. But I never liked the way they all made me feel. There was always this ‘little something’ that always told me that they were really in the wrong, and that I deserved better treatment….even though I was always made to believe that I ‘deserved’ whatever they did. I can step back now and reflect on the whole mess. I came from a pretty effed up family! I was the ‘Marilyn’ in a family of Munsters. You know how the Munsters treated Marilyn like she was the one that was ugly and disfigured? Yeah, it was kind of like that.
@@gracebe235 sorry to hear that, it’s very sad to start out life surrounded by people like that and being your own family. As an adult you can choose the life you want to live, I’ve chosen to be nothing like my father, it’s taken years but now I have standards and boundaries but had to cut a lot of people out to get my strength back. I like who I am, I’m kind and generous but I’m no one’s fool. Keep strong and live a happy loving life. 🙏🏼✨😊
You figured them out to a “T”. Best explanation I’ve heard of the narcissists anger. Thank you for confirming what I’ve always felt. It’s a no win game for anyone ensnared by this kind of broken human
@@andrewsmith3257 A true narcissist is a wolf in sheeps clothing. The only thing they fear in this world is an empath who gets wise, who wont tolerate their bullshit.
“They push or punish you to keep trying more but more is never enough. They are the unaware slaves of their own doing but, illusionary, believe others are responsible for everything that happens in their life” ain’t that the truth!!!!!
Mostly it seems that they constantly compare others with themselves and whatever others have that they lack (material things, a good marriage, skills, talents, friends) they get green-eyed with jealousy. All that jealousy turns to hatred at those who have what they lack. It simmers and comes out as hostility and anger for the damndest things. They’ll pick a fight if they see you are happy about something, shooting down your positive mood.
@Arsene Lupin III Hehe and then they’ll put you down behind your back because of that. You can’t win with them. But yeah that’s better than supplying them. I’ve learned to cut them off because I just don’t have the time, patience or energy for their BS.
A couple of things that come to mind: - Brain damage in the womb (emotional incontinence) - Bad childhood (with narcissist parents) - Living off drama bites them back - Committing crimes bites them back - They hate you - Knowing they will end up alone All reasons why they are angry
Helena, my ex husband was one of 2 brothers. Both treated exactly the same, to a point. The brother was polite,intelligent, qualified in mental health. My ex scammed and hardly worked officially. Mostly cash in hand, never paid tax,feigned disability, got UK benefits. I worked, then came home to start again. He was lazy, arrogant shouty and intimidating at 550 lbs in weight. He was deviously clever, sky, but also charming and a Walter Mitty character. If he had used all this positively he could have had so much more. His wealthy auntie and uncle saw through him very early on. His brother was well looked after by them, my ex had to do it his way. He never got a penny. I see the same with William and Harry. One is compliant the other rebellious. He did end up alone. Why don’t narcissists change, why can they not see has other people ‘work it’. Best wishes from Devon
Ephesians 6:12 NLT For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
You perfectly described a family member who is aggressive, bullying, arrogant and critical of anyone who does not treat her as if she is a princess. She's 34. She will not accept any criticism and becomes enraged if anyone disagrees with her. She will attack someone for no reason. There's no way to confront this person because family members make excuses, refuse to correct her and then expect everyone else to overlook her behavior. Thank you for this insight.
@@marybethphillips4925 It's exhausting even being around someone like that for 10 minutes. They walk in and suck all of the oxygen out of a room. I hope you're able to keep some distance from the person you know who is like that. I refuse to go to any family gatherings where the person I know is present. Life is too short to waste time with a person who's incapable of considering anyone but themselves.
My wife is a narcissist and I didn't realize it till years into our marriage. Learning a lot. It has made MY life better knowing this. I just did not recognize this.
This is a story about. Petr who was heartbroken by his lover Annabelle At first, there were this dream couple everyone wished or rather still looked up to in admiration of their cuteness and love which there both share Growing up, Petr always got everything, the Brains, grades, loves and attention. Meanwhile Petr grew up into becoming a tech guy, and got married to his childhood sweetheart Annabelle, there both were a thing of joy to glimpse on through, well things got so well and there were this perfect dream couple Month passed by and Annabelle started going off on her childhood sweetheart Petr, but whenever there both left the house, it always seems things were going on smoothly for the love lovebirds. Month passed by and years followed, still there were looking like this evergreen perfect couples, like an eagle flying above the sky for the little birds and fowls to look-up to and wish there was the ones looking so happy and fly as Petr and Annabelle was Alas Petr was going through an emotional abuse and trauma in their long lost love relationship but coming out and calling it a no no to their existing old lost love was such a difficult task for Petr to do Petr was this brainaic tech guy who at the early stage of their marriage noticed the sudden change of Annabelle's attitudes, she got this narc traits from day one but the saying which goes love is blind overshadowed his sense of reasoning as at that time, well a chip click encryption was entailed on his wife's phone by Petr just to confirm to him his fears, there were all TRUE, an Affair going on behind his back by his wife, Shaking His Head he ....... decided to keep it on or what ?? perhaps you want to get the full details of their time and relationship, struggles and more info into their life and .. Find out what happened later on after Petr the tech guy got to know about his wife's dealings, Now Petr's programming company called "pettoolzzz" where he helps out with persons who got issues with spouses LOYALTY, narcissist victims support, he helps track mobile phone calls, gain access to all messages,facebook and instagram chats, emails, and lots more in getting hardcore real evidences about your partners. DON'T HIDE IN SILENCE NO MORE, IF YOU NOTICE ANY RED FLAGS🚩IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, WAIT NO MORE PETR IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE AND WELCOMES ALL, SOMEONE WITH A FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE WITH NARCS @ "PETTOOLZZZ 💌 come get a valid loyalty tests on your partners and know where your loyalty stands link below to Instagram👇 instagram.com/pettoolzzz/ Instagram handle: PETTOOLZZZ
The most heart breaking part is going through this type of marriage, being in love with them, and feeling you have been knocked in the side of the head when they do things...like dropping you off for a job interview, and you having to walk an hour into town to find them chatting...yet you are the bad guy for asking where they were....are you suggesting they can't visit their friends. Yep, that hurt and was very confusing. Spent 20 years wondering what in the world, why does she do these things everyday? Starting learning about Narcissistic disorder....now everything is making sense. Problem is, I really do love her, but I don't like this problem, are they fixable? I am leaving her for health reasons....I can't take the nonsense anymore...but really wish there was something else that could be done.
You have only done half the job. Now that you know they are a narcissist the next part of the job is to get them out of your life. Just knowing what they are but staying is going to leave you remaining in hell.
Holy crap! I've been studying various narcissism experts for several years and this is BY FAR the *MOST CONCISE, COMPACT, AND COMPLETE DESCRIPTION* I've ever heard. Kudos sir, so glad I found your channel!
Luke 12:53 NLT Father will be divided against son and son against father; mother against daughter and daughter against mother; and mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.
Fun! I talked to myself constantly. And I find myself always said the same things: they ARE always angry. Constantly blaming me doesn't matter my faults or not. They even invent the reasons to get mad or even with me. Everything I said to them are insulting according to them. They can never do no wrongs and I can do no rights 😞
Yes, their most prominent intense emotion is in fact anger. In case I am familiar with it's actually a kind of an addiction to all chemicals connected with angry outbursts. It has entire spectrum of symptoms any addict would have. Took me a good few years really to comprehend it and to accept that yes, one can be severly addicted to their own anger but yes, they are always angry, happens to be brutally true. Can be so angry all the time that their brans somehow can really get chemically addicted to this anger. This is why anyone around such people has to take this into account and to put their safety first. No matter how much you love them. They are constantly angry and their brain might in fact progress into a brain of anger addict and they may feel and act like an addict when they fly into anger , yes. Unfortunately this is how it in fact is. " They even invent the reasons to get mad or even with me"- what I'm familair with . To me manifestation of a case in which a narcisstic person has already became their own anger addict. This is when they actively seek any reason they can blame on any part of thier outer environment to have an excuse to fly into rage and to enjoy adrenaline and release of emotions during an angry outburst. Since this is in fact chemically speaking a 3 stage process subjected to at least 3 groups of chemicals ending with very relaxing ones. And they seek to release the tension of negative emotions they cannot release otherwise. "They can never do no wrongs and I can do no rights"- it has to do with their own self-image. They cannot integrate into their self-image any idea of their own "imperfections". Has to do with what I said in other comments about avoiding any accountibility for anything and the fact that any attempts to make them accountable or responsible for anything works like a triggger for their anger. Inside their mental bubble they are perfect and others are the problm, so of course "you can do no rights/ you can never do anything well " and "if anyone did something wrong in here it obviously must have been you, not them".
Perfectly true. Analysis of the anger and rage is important. Proverbs 19:19 “A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment: for if thou deliver him, yet thou must do it again.” The message is. DO NOT DELIVER A MAN OF GREAT WRATH. he sets his own fires; let him put them out.
Trigger example: Narcissist coming from the garden in and out the house. I'd just cleaned the floor and asked; Can you please clean your shoes? You can guess the reaction! 😁
Thank you, Danish. So spot on! I can relate. Happened to me for 14 consecutive years. I now know I was not the crazy or psychotic partner. I am healing from chronic depression and receiving counselling. Thank you again to channels like yours.
That's the ticket, they push their crazy onto us and then have the audacity to call us nuts, mine did it in front of the kids, even put locks on their doors so I couldn't clean their rooms, who does that? Idiot!
yeah, he just got really upset. Made the mistake to criticise him by pointing out a lie he told me 24 hours ago. Yelled from the top of his head. I need to learn not to question him he said.
I work with and OCPD Narcissist and these traits are definitely present. I've learned to play kind, aloof, and professionally competent. I say good morning, good evening, and mostly keep quiet around them. I make up appointments to distance myself from their desire to have me close. I turn down any lunch offerings, I make up excuses to drive separately and stay in different accommodations from them. When they start projecting their rage onto me I learned to look silently and directly in their eyes with compassion for THEIR mental health and not respond to what they are saying. They WANT to have conflict and they want to blame someone for their negativity. I spent years ruminating until I learned that they had a personality disorder they were projecting onto me.
I dated a narcissist. He was very passive aggressive..and it seemed to be whenever I was feeling confident and if I was just giving my opinion on something...just a normal conversation and my input and BAM he would have to put me down!
They are like trying to befriend a rabid wolverine. And it takes years to actually see this truth clearly enough to literally run for your life. But once you find the grit and grace to do that, you can look in the mirror and smile at the wonderful human being , they sought to destroy, but weren't able to. Rejoice in your much deserved victory and fly with that new set of wings called sweet freedom!
That is one of the easiest ways to identify a narcissist, their explosive anger. Anything and everything sets off the powder keg. The tiniest thing blows their anger sky high. Children cannot attach to a parent like this in a normal manner. Nor can a spouse. I remember the first time I saw that kind of anger in my spouse, I was eating corn out of a can, and that set him off. He power threw the can against the ceiling, corn dripped off and it permanently stained the ceiling. That was the first time I saw him act like that. Hot temper is clue number one that you got one. My father was also a narcissist and his temper was just as bad, if not worse.
Danish you made my life ,u have answered many questions I had my husband is narcissistic I didn't know I labelled him many titles but this is the name _narcissist
Or your husband could be a high functioning autist, and some things can trigger incredible anger due to unprocessed childhood trauma. Idk not everyone is a narcissist lmao
I can tell that you sadly have first hand experiences with a narcissist because your videos are always very spot on and I can almost sadly relive my own experiences.
I had 2 of them narc parents. One the "overlord bread earner" and my mother enraged at her life being spoilt by having children. It was our fault their financial hardships, their lack of freedom. When the "overlord" came home, and the car tailights were seen through the window, it was run for the hills! Hide! Stop everything! - wait a few hours until he has lost his anger, then meekly say "hello" if his mood had cheered. Doing the housework for the mother was greeted with a grunt, I even had $40 pressed into my hand at 16 for a taxi to- "anywhere but here, i have packed your stuff" being constantly compared to their friends children who "have a good university education and good well paid jobs" yet myself hounded out of the house at 16 onto the streets to live on skid row..
This is an accurate description of what it’s like to deal with these angry, adversarial people.. I am out the other end after 21 years, the last 9 of which were very difficult. Your love will never be enough to heal them. I can tell you I am soooo grateful for the peace and healing calm I have rediscovered on the other side🌟✨🙏🏼
He would not discuss issues giving the excuse he is a simple man, silent treatment, raging, insults behind jokes, not answering phone or text even when important, getting mad if I missed a call or text, wanting constant valudation..
Wow, You Totally described the 4-year marriage I was in....I finally left because I realized I had given up almost right I had had 1 bit at a time and I was being yelled at everyday with the angriest person I had ever met...and I kept telling him I felt like I was walking on eggshells....he would sit for hours "arguing" online over issues with strangers....Such a need to be Right Constantly....I did, as was my personallity, not react much to his constant yelling and intimidation except that I would fold on decisions...and he Always had to wear a suit to church....he was like the only one and it was weird....he also was unusually close to his mom....they would share everything and cry together a lot ( his dad was alive but excluded) and they would build each other up constantly....so sad...also, he would react violently towards issues that bothered me...I didn't like (obviously) a big coffee table book of photos of Naked CHildren...when I told him he of course started yelling and said I didn't have an appreciation for art and then went outside with the book and started a Huge fire and burned it!!! Crazy stuff like that all of the time...I should have left so much sooner ....for me it was a bit like the frog in the boiling water syndrome...Thanks for sharing...
It's not your fault. God bless you❤Matthew 10:34-39 NKJV Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.
They're not always angry. They are charming, that's why people get lured. Cant be charming if your angry. But the charming behaviour ends at some point.
I tell my son - always watch what you speak to whom. Light a match stick in dark is ok but no ok near gasoline. One day he will learn why I kept reminding so. World is so full of immature people around us. Many of them is narcissists.
These people heal a lot better being left alone. Help them to help themselves by leaving the situation. You cannot help them. Your presence is thwarting any healing they may have.
Spot on as usual with all 5 points when it comes to my ex. When he hovered me 3 months ago, I called him out on all this. He had previously been diagnosed with ASPD. I watched him sink down on the couch with his head hung low like a child caught being bad. No rage just silence. I haven’t seen him since and I am on my way to healing. 💪🏻
" I watched him sink down on the couch with his head hung low like a child caught being bad"- happens at times, may even take years but it is only a phase. How they process what is impossible for them process so being confronted with their horribly low self-esteem. This initial attempt at such confrontation might result in depressive episode of such kind. I could observe one up close. I would say now that this is a middle stage of a more complex process. And no, they do not stay there for good.
I spent 7 years with a narcissist, been divorced from him for 33 years. I've moved 5-6 times in that time and always be goes through the Internet to track me down to mail me letters that I never answer. He can't believe I had the gall to leave him since he thinks he is the greatest thing since sliced bread. I went no contact with him decades ago and he still keeps trying to get to me.
My narc flies into a rage when someone accurately call out his incompetence. At first I thought it was a tactic, but now I think it's a defense mechanism. He hates the feeling of inadequacy. He feels entitled to admiration but is too lazy to earn it.
You are so so right ! Just got dumped by a narcissistic gf a month ago and these patterns absolutely match her actions. But I still miss her.......but going back will never be an option !
Yeah, if you really liked her you would miss her, I went thru that. Fill your life up with positive things, pray, read good books, go out with positive friends and stay busy and that’s what helped me forget about him. It will work for you too
Another well-put video. The first section is incorrectly labeled "They have a lot to handle". You mentioned it as "They have a lot to hide". This is the correct label and honestly my health has improved since watching and subscribing to your videos. Narcissists are you expressed are delusional and they hide everything to suit their agenda. You are a smart man. Thank you for your videos.
I'm currently experiencing everything you've just described, walking on eggshells while visiting my 36-year-old son for a week in his home. As usual, I have to try to keep from triggering his anger. I'm not always successful though because it's impossible to know what his triggers are.
N. Porter…my story is identical to Darla’s. I have one child (now 35 yrs old.) I spent her entire childhood by taking parenting classes & attending lectures on human behaviors. I am not the perfect parent, but God knows I’m “one of them.” My daughter is a narcissist 100%. When she realized I was on to her, she distanced herself from me…which gave me the peace I deserve. No drama in her doing that. I suggested we go to group counseling in hopes of mending our mother/daughter relationship. Not for me- but for her. I’m not holding my breath because it’s been a year & she hasn’t addressed therapy since I brought it up. I know for a fact that her behavior is genetically related, as bipolar & narcissistic behaviors run on the other side. I will most likely never have a healthy relationship with my only child & there’s nothing I can do about that. I am a good person & will not be held “emotional hostage” to anyone. We have safe, respectful, limited & guarded conversations..which works for both of us. This video was true to the “T.”
@@marciemartinez9342 Hmmm. Your comment reeks of unaccountability. " Your daughter is the way she is because she inherited it from the other side. You, on the other hand, are too good to be the cause of any problems". But the thing is, kids don't distance themselves from good parents. Perhaps it's time to consider your role in the fallout.
Your a mother. Parents make children accountable for their actions. It's natural parenting role. So my wild guess would be...whenever you you are trying to make him accountable for his actions in any way this probably is a trigger. If anything your say or do impacts his self-image in a manner making him look less perfect than he would like his imagined self to be it's also probably a trigger. Yes, a sensation of "having to walk on eggshells" around someone is very clear indicator of being around someone who is highly emotionally unstable. May indicate a narcissistic person but also often happens to people who are around highly depressed people or bipolar people. Usually serves as a red alert to all mammals sending signals that possible behaviour of another mammal around them is highly unpredictable and could be considered as a potential threat. This is for example something that triggers mistrust and agression among domestic animals such as cats and dogs. Results in unpredictable bitting nad attacks on such humans from both dogs and cats. Cats can also be hissing at or peeing on personal belonging ,for example shoes, of such individuals. This is why we humans should also not ignore such emotional signals which are early alerts of a potential threat. When in doubt just look at your pet reaction to someone if you have some.
Danish - you had the same father as I had a mother. I remember once, when I was about 15, I was sleeping over a friend’s house and she had fallen asleep & a movie came on the tv called “Mommy Dearest”. I was so taken in by this movie. I thought someone must’ve snuck into my home somehow and knew what my mother had done! I couldn’t stop watching & saw it through to the end. I would term my mother a malignant narcissist…truly evil. I’ve never felt like I had a mother. I raised my three younger brothers…my mother had no interest. As an adult, I’ve heard her say many times how well behaved I was until I got to be a teenager. Then I became a nightmare. Yet, others always saw me as so nice; a little shy, but a very kind person. Obviously, I was coming into myself, having a sense of my own identity & she saw that as disobedience. I really appreciate your channel; can’t begin to tell you how much it’s helping me. I moved out of my parents house at 24, moved in with a narcissist who was 20 years older than me (father figure); then, when he died four years ago, was pushed to move back into my parents house and I did. I am now 52; and have a lot I’m dealing with. I feel strongly that I have not accomplished (almost) anything I wanted to in my life; and it took me many years to come to understand what I was up against. In my mid thirties I read a book by M. Scott Peck called, “People of the Lie: the hope for healing human evil”. It was essentially about malignant narcissism. It really opened my eyes, but it took my boyfriend’s death to get me to leave. So many years of loneliness & now I’m back in the original hell I was raised in. I know it sounds terrible, like I’m just feeling sorry for myself. I just wish I could find a way forward and even the desire to move forward. I worry because I often feel almost clinically depressed. But I want you to know how much your videos help. For the first time in a long time I feel a glimmer of hope. Many thanks.
My ex-wife's favorite comment: "you make me like this. There is nothing wrong with me, you are the problem." That is why four different men have eventually left her and she now is living alone and miserable in the later stages of her life. I guess all of them (men) and assorted friends she left in her wake over the years were also the cause of her emotional unpredictability and abuse.
It's not your fault. God bless you❤Matthew 10:34-39 NKJV Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.
After almost 10 year relationship, and over a year of therapy, you made me realised that I was a victim of a true narcissist. And how can I tell, since she was so sweet, so insecure, so introvert? I always thought that I was at blame. I just wanted to love, and to be loved. Over half a year took me to realize that she wasn't so perfect, especially with acts she did after break up (it was me who eventually caused a split). Thank you Danish.
That's my eldest brother. He cannot accept any criticism and will get extremely defensive and go on the attack to defend himself, even when I am very gentle and non direct in giving him a negative comment about his behaviour. He will "never" admit he is in the wrong! I cut ties with him 2 days ago and I'm unsure if there will be a backlash reaction from him.
This is how my mom is. I grew up with her getting angry and being cold, silent, and looking at us with hatred until she was placated. You could cut the tension with a knife. I never fit in with the other girls because she didn’t buy me the right clothes, but she was, and still is, very stylish. I’d have to stand around in clothing stores while she bought things for herself. It’s only recently that I’ve heard colleagues say their mothers made sure they had good wardrobes even though they didn’t have much money, because it’s so important for girls. It hurt my confidence and I became withdrawn and avoidant. It affected my college years, who I felt I could fit in with, and continues to affect me to this day. I do not have the friends I should have, and have never had the confidence to date the kind of men people would expect me to be with and marry.
Excellent video. Well done. You have explained the narc behavior very well. The fact that these creatures cannot handle criticism or advice is a good point .They will see that as insulting and react with instant aggression. Stay away God bless
Narcissists desire to argue with other people with fabricated false predicament, in order to deflect your center of attention for their own benefit. And the following are the triggers of this horrid dissension:- (1) He/she will inveigle any matter in question that arouses trepidation to someone else. (2) He/she will drive you till you end up to a level of moral culpability. (3) He/she will irritate much of your chagrin. (4) He/she will manifest signs of much dubieity of your aptitude. (5) He/she will impel you to play the second fiddle to any circumstance.
What you said is SO true, the memories bring tears to my eyes. I’m physically safe and free of them, legally - almost free. I will never figure out how I allowed myself to get caught up in the web, I’m just grateful I had a wonderful upbringing that the embers of my self esteem, my self confidence and my self respect did not let my soul die and gave it the love and strength it needed to be where I am today. I wish this for everyone who needs to set themselves free of a toxic relationship. ♥️ & ☮️. D.
It's not your fault. God bless you❤Matthew 10:34-39 NKJV Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.
Thanks for shining a light on their vulnerabilities; I didn't realize that when they got angry it was bc they were trying to hide the fact that they were/are not 'perfect'.
Thank you Danish. You’ve described my husband exactly. He’s a narcissist according to all points expressed by you. I feel better now bc I couldn’t express myself and my emotions before. I’m the abused spouse, unable to leave him and i don’t know what else I can do to keep sane. It’s been 49+ years now.
Start doing things that make you happy and don’t take it personally. This is hard to do but it’s not impossible. Ignore him like you would ignore a brat. Don’t let him control you actions. I gotten some good advise from UA-cam videos. I’ve been here for 37 years and now found out what the problem is, but I started detaching myself a long time ago. Hang in there and take one day at a time.
It's better to be alone than live in misery with a toxic person. It's never too late! Work on your escape plan, life is too short to be drowning in unhappiness. If you aren't strong enough to leave at least try to be proactive with counseling & time outs. Or you can just accept your fate & live with it.
Hi Mila. I’m in the same situation with my husband of 10 years. It’s hard because I have no family to move in with and we have a 5 year old son. I don’t want to be homeless so I just try to find small things each day that make me happy and I try my best to ignore him and stay in my room.
Wow, I've watched a number of your videos tonight and have to say yours are the best and most succinct I have seen on this topic. I am a survivor of near 2 decades of narc abuse. Diagnosed with CPTSD(as is my son now since having to live with the narc since I became even more disabled from the extreme stress). You have really nailed this person I have had in my life so well. It's like you have been watching the horrible video of our lives for all this time. I twigged that this person's tiredness they'd developed was from the sheer exhaustion of their public persona and all the different people they are to the different interest groups they 'belong' to, the groups are so diverse and clash with each other too. Just the public dance of different personas, and then being what my late great aunt used to call a 'street angel and house devil'. My own health has suffered so badly over the years and now my son has the IBS and PTSD and other health problems and is only 17. He's moving to live with me as soon as it can be organised. I hope everyone watching your videos is able to escape from the narcs in their lives.... they are really monsters and it's exhausting walking on eggshells. I hope my son and I can heal once no contact is implemented.
Thanks bro. I'm starting to understand some of the tricky slimy slippery folk I have to deal with in life. Thankfully The Almighty is casting them out of my life one by one, and I couldn't be happier. 🔥🥊🔥
Your videos are more insightful than most about narcissist. And each narcissist is different. I was told Altruistic Narcissist is hard to detect. They are a wolf in Sheep's clothing. I was raised by one. And growing up in a Catholic environment was hard. Well meeting narcissist and being with them was my whole life. Was with a narcissist for 12 yrs. Then married him for 10 yrs until he found another gullible soul. Been divorced 14 yrs now I'm much happy but still meet a few here and there. I am grateful for educating myself in every aspect I can, because when you least expect it the anger can get out of hand. Thank you for these videos and I'm glad you have much strength from what you went through to help others.
A life alone is a huge improvement to living with a Narcissist. It's too much drama. It's so nice for a caring person, to be on the path towards being one's self again and to say inside or out loud, 'I don't care.' ❤How uplifting and therapeutic is that!!! ❤ It's like a beautiful breath of fresh air.
I love this. How they act isn’t cool but this breakdown makes it understandable they are struggling internally. No justification for bad behavior . Nice video , thank you for this
Perfectly explained. After 30 years my husband left. He would always be angry if I ever asked him about our future plans for us or the children. He would say that I should trust him unconditionally. Whatever we did was never good enough. Iam only now learning that I was married and lived for 30 years with a Narcissist.
Exactly, those who deals with narcissist peoples i.e family members and surrounding etc. experiences these kind of issues. They assume themselves as superior than everything, very manipulative in nature, full of negativity, it seems devil rules them, always aggressive nature etc. Like me they knows how difficult to handle narcissists. Well explained. Thank you 🙏
Tamara the Judeo Christian... I was about to write a very similar comment in regard to his childhood and assisting others, so great minds think alike and all that! I'm feeling extremely upset from reading about horrendous crimes committed by people who were badly abused as children and went the other way, which is beyond sad. ❤
Typo in number 1: “They have a lot to hide”
Sir I want to know about this.. how can I ask you
My husband is narc and scape goat child for narc parents.... I have a lot of confusion
Danish, agree they are controlling with their partner but why are they chickens when a figure of authority puts them in their place? They never fight back or stand up for themselves. My ex would walk away from tricky situations then threaten to ruin that person after the event. His ego hurt, he would go into a shell or panic but not fight back.
Thankyou so much for your valuable offerings Danish. I am enjoying your refreshing and insightful approach.
and a lot to lose
The best way to spot a narcissist is if you always feel bad around them. Guilty, tired, drained, discouraged, sad or depressed. Just by entering the room, they immediately affect the mood of a group in a negative way.
Exactly! When I was as young as 10, I wanted to build a life of my own - my living space, my finances, my business, and my healthy and loving relationships. My parents' mere presence suffocated me. I knew something was off about them. They thought with the confusion they created, I would never amount to anything. I quietly started working away at studies and excelling till they themselves gave the opportunity to walk away from them, thinking I was of no use to them. Thank the Universe I got out of that mentally sick whirl, and am thriving a world away from them. I know they are baffled as to how I escaped their clutches. Let them be in their hell.
@@simonpegg1196 How good that you escaped. Congratulation! I wish you a good life! The advantage of your experience is that you can recognize narcissists immediately and stay away.
@@riekaakier1526 Thank you Rieka! Actually, there are a lot more of them burdening the world with their presence that we would like to imagine. Best to stay away.
it's like second-hand smoke. you're damaged just by being around them. only solution is to fcking run.
i agree with everything, but the last paragraph, i dont know about that, narcissistic usually has charisma, etc. but once you hang out with them, and get to know them even after many decades, you'll know after being a target. cant explain myself well right now, just sleepy, i have sleepless night from toxicity. just giving back what they are doing to me.
Don't ever brag to a Narc about something you did. Something you are proud of. They will instantly shit on that achievement.
And never share your fears and insecurities. They will be used to shame and belittle you.
Absolutely
True lol, example: i mention that I've started taking running seriously and that I've started doing around 50km a week. Their response: well I've been running AND swimming and I'm going to start cycling as well!
😂
I’ve noticed that, about an 80 percent chance of it, like a 20 percent chance of saying something positive to you but I’m aware now that’s only because they want you to think they a decent dude, my friend was a covert narcissist and that’s what I’ve noticed, recently cut him out my life and life’s been a lot better
And they will copy you and try to annihilate your accomplishments! Move in extreme silence
When it’s a parent you are robbed of your childhood. Then, once you’re out of their grip (if you even ever make it out) you have to unlearn all the coping mechanisms which are impacting your adult life negatively. Survivors of this sort of abuse are made of strong stuff.
🤝I am also raised by a Narcissit.It is like fighting a demon every day
I cut mine off and will never look back
@@joshuaanzalone2060 I also want to leave him but I am a teen and I have no income source to cut him off 🥲🤧
We sure are Vicky?💪
@@harieepuri910 some day😊
They hate themselves. They have to live with themselves. They want you to hate yourself. The enemy to them is someone that loves themself so much that they refuse to be abused.
@renegadeprincess8599 Very True. And as raised by a perv narc mother it took me time to love myself . But on the other hand, i get very distant, even reacting a little agressive towards people or a situation where i feel invaded by negativity or criticism from someone not knowing me at all... I sound like i am getting angry inside, style " mind your own business". Or "cut the crap, just forget i exist and get lost", or "fu*k off of my cloud" . As you say i refuse to be abused anyhow or by anyone again. Basta ! Be Well a french in France Liberty Equality Fraternity
They feel so proud of their work if you are sad, weak, passive, angry and other negative behaviours so of course being happy is the worst for them (and for you too, they will start a war against your happiness).
@@MissX33 omg so true
Omg yes that's it !!! That's make a lot of sense. thank you for your words 🙏🏻
Narcissists use their anger as a form of control. It's the narcissist's way of saying if I get angry it's your own fault because you are the cause....
Phfffft 😝
@Bob More My Ex wife say the exact word to me too!! I was giving out a huge "WOW: when i saw your comment!
"You and YOUR problems are stressing me out!"
"Stop being such a baby, wahhhh, see look, I'm you."
"It's your fault."
"I think that's a you problem."
"How dare you..."
"You are sooo stupid"
@@stanleylim9753 The reason why is that narcissist's have an extremely large and overly sensitive ego and blaming someone else is a way for the narcissist to avoid responsibility and shame.
True ..
He always said that to me.
Stupid narc ..lol
“They terrorize people through aggression.” This!
Facts! 🔥
yes, and they are very reckless with their actions on doing so, like a wolf out of a cage
That's the most annoying thing about them. They're like children.
Toddlers, Chris.
A narcissic can be anyone who refuses responsibility and perceives the world as revolving around them. A suspicious
principle of free market capitalism . A religion more popular than any other since genesis began. Come down from your high horse hombre for God and Christ need no steed.
They sure are it's terrible being around them.
So true. They are like children.
They are like toddlers really, but hot-tempered toddlers. theyll start fights for the smallest things ever. and when theyre blamed they respond wih "im always the one wrong!?" "im always to blame!" or smthng
The standards they set is always one-sided. We have to love them unconditionally and they love with conditions
I insult them to their face and say their brain is one-sided. They enjoy the personal insults. Haha!
@@GenerationX1984 That's if they actually understand you. They like to play dumb 🙄
They don't love as normal people do. We are just of temporary interest to them.
A narcissistic person wants you to love them. With no love In return. However, they pick who they love, sometimes. To bring attention to themselves, as a caring person. To impress others outside their family. Thus, reinforcing their ego. Then, becoming just the opposite with a member of their own family. A Doctor Jekyll and Mr.Hyde type person.
Yesssssss! I knew one and she stated these word's " I want unconditional love".
I responded to her " so you think your ex husband should take you back even though you cheated on him and made a child with someone else "? Her response was " yes he should and he definitely shouldn't have left me because of that".
😳
Yes this anger is triggered by their own mental illness and they are actually constantly suffering their own karma and so being in a hellish state they lash out at others who are happier and of great mental health due to inner jealousy and hatred
Sincerely true
100% !!!
Oh my God I could not have said it better myself it is so true that it is scary I am in that situation with a person like that and that is exactly how they are it is frightening and yes they are envious that you are in a better mental state and are happier than they are and they want to tear you down and break you down until there's nothing left of you and and if you're strong because they usually are not that is why they do the things they do they can't stand it
Bingo! It’s a mental illness.
I was married to one and this guy nails it
True
I used to tell her that her anger was so out of context for what we were discussing, this made her angrier.
Or out of proportion to the situation.... the envelope didn't tear straight, dropped a spoon, his sock has a hole.... all end in volcanic eruptions. When everything requires an angry, yelling, cussing eruption, the anger is meaningless. There is no distinction between a minor irritation and something that is really a problem. It used to absolutely crush me when he would start yelling and cussing. Anymore, I am so numb to it, I just shrug and walk away because 99.99% of the time, it's nothing that I can 'fix' for him and it's usually something that any normal person would blow off as a daily occurrence.
@@brendazorn4592 everything you say is spot on. You shouldn't have to listen to that rubbish!!
Exactly
My favorite analogy right now is a drill sergeant. "They way I see it ladies, you owe me for one jelly doughnut!" The trigger is not the jelly doughnut. It's the insubordination, and there is no limit to the amount of abuse and punishment that must be brought to bear for that. ua-cam.com/video/5NP8y63Ms4o/v-deo.html
Sometimes they just sit there and ignore you or they sit there and pout until they get their way or they withhold things from you as a punishment.
Yes this happens to me alot even when they have started attacking me an being verbally abusive an overactive for affect. They love to play victim. I want out been surrounded by these personalities since a child it was only my late husband who wasnt anything like this an a lovely person. All the evidence of how a man should treat his lady with respect an it just
worked. I only met this monster through being young, widowed an lonely. They
really love the silent treatment. I get that twice a week along with rages.
@@lelediamondASMR yes I have been dealing with this as a child too. And still in these days I'm dealing with it. I love you one minute hate you next let's be friends let's not be friends it's so confusing at times.Peace and grace be with us.
@@nanacandy they do that to keep you off balance. They also brake up with you multiple times even if it's just for a day. It's all to gain power an control. They love threats aswell an raising their voice to assert themselves as powerful. All us empaths need to do is realise an know they are crazy and to put up a wall to protect ourselves an never trust them with your heart they will only abuse again. Or rage on you for something that's nothing to do with you but to do with their empty selves.
I couldn't agree more. And also they are never the ones to greet anyone first, they stay dumb till you greet then.
My father exactly.
Walking on eggshells is a perfect description
They get angry and defensive if you call them out when their words contradict their actions.
yes! That's it! Totally nailed it!!! I pegged this man 3mo in but kinda blew it off for another 3mo and couldn't handle the insanity of it all he's blocked n deleted! 👏
More like enraged 🎉
"They try to punish you for not being the perfect supply they wanted you to be." Exactly.
I had to deal with a more than one narcissist at the same time for years and years. It really almost killed me. It's so hard to deal with loved ones, family members and friends who are abusive and have narcissistic personality disorder.
God bless you! Im living in that world rights now but I’m coming out soon thanks to the grace of God! ❤
WHY do you think they are narcs? How was their childhood?
Yes almost killed you but didn't and now (like me) you can walk through fire 🔥 because you have!
Hard when it is a 15 yr old grandson with narc tendencies. Always right, has to be the best, berates his younger brother. Praying for him.
Luke 12:53 NLT
Father will be divided against son and son against father; mother against daughter and daughter against mother; and mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.
In my experience, the narcissists I dealt with often took disagreements, concerns and questions very personally. One of them would even snap, turn into a rage and become extremely condescending and rude. He even said "You better listen to me, you have zero audacity. look at how stupid you are" (even other people agree with me), and he pointed his finger at his head and made gun sounds. He also misunderstood everything in said on purpose and accused me of saying things i never said.
This is a story about. Petr who was heartbroken by his lover Annabelle
At first, there were this dream couple everyone wished or rather still looked up to in admiration of their cuteness and love which there both share
Growing up, Petr always got everything, the Brains, grades, loves and attention. Meanwhile Petr grew up into becoming a tech guy, and got married to his childhood sweetheart Annabelle, there both were a thing of joy to glimpse on through, well things got so well and there were this perfect dream couple
Month passed by and Annabelle started going off on her childhood sweetheart Petr, but whenever there both left the house, it always seems things were going on smoothly for the love lovebirds.
Month passed by and years followed, still there were looking like this evergreen perfect couples, like an eagle flying above the sky for the little birds and fowls to look-up to and wish there was the ones looking so happy and fly as Petr and Annabelle was
Alas Petr was going through an emotional abuse and trauma in their long lost love relationship but coming out and calling it a no no to their existing old lost love was such a difficult task for Petr to do
Petr was this brainaic tech guy who at the early stage of their marriage noticed the sudden change of Annabelle's attitudes, she got this narc traits from day one but the saying which goes love is blind overshadowed his sense of reasoning as at that time, well a chip click encryption was entailed on his wife's phone by Petr just to confirm to him his fears, there were all TRUE, an Affair going on behind his back by his wife, Shaking His Head he .......
decided to keep it on or what ??
perhaps you want to get the full details of their time and relationship, struggles and more info into their life and ..
Find out what happened later on after Petr the tech guy got to know about his wife's dealings,
Now Petr's programming company called "pettoolzzz" where he helps out with persons who got issues with spouses LOYALTY, narcissist victims support, he helps track mobile phone calls, gain access to all messages,facebook and instagram chats, emails, and lots more in getting hardcore real evidences about your partners.
DON'T HIDE IN SILENCE NO MORE, IF YOU NOTICE ANY RED FLAGS🚩IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, WAIT NO MORE PETR IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE AND WELCOMES ALL, SOMEONE WITH A FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE WITH NARCS @ "PETTOOLZZZ 💌 come get a valid loyalty tests on your partners and know where your loyalty stands link below to Instagram👇
instagram.com/pettoolzzz/
Instagram handle: PETTOOLZZZ
Of course. Welcome to the unique world of total mental gymnastics, aka NPD. It is literally all ‘upside down’…so much so that at times one ask oneself ‘ Either this is not normal or I am entirely ‘crazy’
I spent over a decade, had kids within the same dynamic I learned later on I originally already came from by proxy ( family of origin). I am trying to break the cycle, I got out and on to trying to make sense to it all, so that the genogram pattern can be broken. It is so murky, so complex and deeply rooted that I can no longer define myself as one or the other. It is surely both ways the same initiate circumstance of human nature. Adversity causes intrinsic circuit breaks, family systems theory and the genealogy understanding of attachment styles helped me through the process of red pill swallowing. However once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
Clearly I realized that O am as much part of the problem as I could be towards trying to possibly understand and integrate that understanding so that there is some form of disruptive awareness, a pattern interruption, interception of the magnitude to people thought, if not change. It is a lonely road, when there a whole family systems being sabotaged by pathologies, that are very complex and easily misinterpreted or misjudged.
Wtf? My dad does exactly what you said. Why are these people the same???
@@doreenplischke2169 The truth is that the have this hidden Narc freemason where they all gather in monthly meetings. This is done to fine tune their text book skills of abuse.
Oh how the narcissists suffer. It's really sad isn't it ? The truth would set them free, if they could only delve deep into their rotten emotions of shame which are hidden so far deep down inside their psyche, that they cannot be retrieved ever. It's hopeless. Only God can set them free. You and I cannot free the narcissist from their shame, because it's hidden so deeply inside of them, but we must pray for their souls, while we go no contact. The narcissist will never stop trying to drag you down.
The anger gets concealed in sweetness until the time is right, or they cant hold back anymore.
Exactly 😢
the mask slips off
Narcissists are always angry, because everyone disappoints them.
They hate everybody for some reason, maintain a good face with who is temporarily useful but justify their lack of social life or real friends with being "special", too smart for others or the black sheep of society (experience 😅)
Yes!
They disappoint themselves
My mother was narcissistic. I was the youngest. I watched most from afar, but she was abused as a child. I always understood that for some reason. But I married a narcissist. Very scary and everything you say is true. I left to save myself. Only those who live this fully understand.
Ditto
They usually place huge expectations on people. While setting none for themselves.
After being married to narc for many years I had no idea he was a narc until after we separated when I started learning about NPD I couldn’t believe that there was all kinds of people walking around that were like my ex. It was like the sky opened up for me I finally saw what this man was putting me through narcissistic abuse. We have been apart for a couple of years but I still am going through PTSD I suffer from depression and anxiety and I finally understand why. He was like the text book narc. I was always trying to please him because one minute he was loving and kind and the next he would be screaming swearing and putting me down just because I didn’t agree with him to top it all off he was an alcoholic and a cheater as well I honestly don’t know if I will ever heal from all the trauma I went through . The sooner you get out of theses relationships the better. They only get worse.
@Maria S It might take some work and some time, but I think you will get better. I was with a narc for over 35 years and, through a lot of prayer and trauma therapy, I'm healing slowly. There is more trauma than I was aware of from my childhood, so I have to take care of that, too, to heal completely. I'll keep you in my prayers 🙏🏻🤗🙏🏻
I totally agree and understand what you went through as I just finished my marriage with a Narcissist of 37 years,BC If it wasn't for the information contained within these fantastic videos, I probably wouldn't be here today,I too have PTSD, Depression, Anxiety and Sleepless nights BC it will take Years to bring back my self worth 😢🤷🏻♀️, another thing that hurts me worse is that all his 5 kids are Narcissists also,so???? Yes, you've guessed it,they all blame me!!! I'm Broken to millions of heartaches which will last for many years although now at least I can see clearly now BECAUSE OF THIS VIDEO ,AND MANY OTHERS 🙋🏻♀️💞💯
@Maria S My ex husband who I was with for many years died in 2020 with COVID. I left him in 2000. I am living a good life now. At the time I decided to leave, I felt I guilty about so many things. Our children, my catholic upbringing, how my family would take it. We lived away from my family and I had no friends of my own. I told him I wasn’t living like this any more. He was enraged, implied to his friend he had a shotgun and a huge police pursuance happened, in a sleepy town in Devon UK. He self harmed in front of my children. We ended up in a refuge. It was hard, really hard. Bit by bit I got my life back together. Nothing was worse than being with him and the effect he had on me and my children. I had hypnotherapy, used whatever self help I could get for free. I never went on medication. I sometimes dwell on periods of my past life, but nothing is as bad as it was then. I walked right into it with rose coloured spectacles on. Never again. It will get better.
Cry out to Jesus - He hears and He cares...
ua-cam.com/video/VeGNgBwPTMA/v-deo.html
Ive known around 25 law enforcement officers. Out of those 25 there was only 3 that were actually faithful to thier wives. Some of the others had two girlfriends. One officer who had matching Harleys made for him and her. He had to keep them at a her apartment on the back porch. Some guys would be totally happy with one girlfriend and be happy to have her yet alone two or three. Even though they're law enforcment and should no better. Ive heard them jokingly saying criminals are so stupid thier GREED always seems to get them caught.. 🤣
I've worked with a narcissist and it's funny how many don't get reactivate or angry when it's in front of the public. Yes when there triggered they do use anger and aggression, that's because there just cowardly bullies.
Yes that's what they are using anger to shut you up. Sister husband has shown me a side no one knows. The rage abuse physical violence looks demonic. Five minutes after he does this a mask put on the innocent victim suffering at my hands went and cut himself and told sister I hurt him after he punched me repeatedly on my head and kicked me in my tummy. I wanted to die but that will just please him so keep trying to find someone to help as he is so meek and helpful to people no one would believe me.
They are angry in front of the person they chose to be the victim. But not in front of the people outside that relationship, to maintain a good image.
Exactly
They can't self-reflect so they don't even know they're angry. Tell them "You're angry" and they'll say "I'm not."
Tell them they are a narcissist.
@@hairrus7278 I wouldn't, it leads to more issues.
Yes! They seem to feed off of others reacting to their abuse. Sit quietly, kindly, and healthily in front of their episodes and they have nothing to respond to but their own poor mental health.
@@jmfs3497 Or, sometimes I just agree with them. I stop reacting and just started agreeing with them. They hate that too.😁
@@hairrus7278 😂
Any tiny thing can be perceived by them as the worst personal insult ever. They think that gives them a free pass to say anything to get even. Especially if the insult is the word “no” 😂
The insult is the insubordination. You broke the rules of the hierarchy. It's not about the jelly doughnut! ua-cam.com/video/5NP8y63Ms4o/v-deo.html
The weird part about it is how much they are in control of their emotions while doing so only behind closed doors. Sometimes everyone outside their door except for whoever they live with ends up believing they have such a good attitude towards life.
@@francesbernard2445 That’s the craziest thing about them, their so called happy positive attitude 🙄🙄
Spot on. Criticise a narcissist, even gently or about something minor, & in my experience they can go crazy. Even unknown to me, they stored up their rage. Then, later that day boom! They kicked off. They could get very nasty & even viscious.
Mine would be “the bigger person” with others, hiding anger or feelings of insult they caused. I think she felt powerless or didn’t know how to deal with them. “ Then she’d unleash that anger on the helpless family at the slightest provocation. She would find a pretext to blow up.
The narcs in my life can explode all they want. My sister in law treated me and my wife like crap hiding behind my brother who's also a narc. Three years later he got caught keeping a side chick. Now they're stuck in a loveless marriage. See how that works? So yeah I say keep at it
This describes approximately 90% of people on Social Media. When they start name calling or try to control my thoughts, that's my sign. Exit stage left.
Telles’s Art Studio,You are beautiful 😍,Hope you are not with a narcissist….
It’s a sad life for the family that have a narcissist in it especially if it is a parent that is the narcissist. As a child you can feel hopeless and helpless.
@Starlight Sky…..My entire family were narcissists…..and most were also psychopaths. I didn’t realize this until these last four years….when I started watching videos on UA-cam, explaining all of these behaviors.
I always knew that something was ‘off’ within my family, but since I was the youngest of four kids, they pulled rank on me all of the time….which consequently, made me feel like I was the defective one.
I am ‘unpacking’ all of this now. It’s been quite the learning curve to try to heal from all of this sick abuse. All that kind of upbringing does to one, is to ‘groom’ you to marry a narcissist…..you know? Because that is one’s ‘normal’. But I never liked the way they all made me feel. There was always this ‘little something’ that always told me that they were really in the wrong, and that I deserved better treatment….even though I was always made to believe that I ‘deserved’ whatever they did.
I can step back now and reflect on the whole mess. I came from a pretty effed up family!
I was the ‘Marilyn’ in a family of Munsters. You know how the Munsters treated Marilyn like she was the one that was ugly and disfigured? Yeah, it was kind of like that.
@@gracebe235 sorry to hear that, it’s very sad to start out life surrounded by people like that and being your own family. As an adult you can choose the life you want to live, I’ve chosen to be nothing like my father, it’s taken years but now I have standards and boundaries but had to cut a lot of people out to get my strength back. I like who I am, I’m kind and generous but I’m no one’s fool.
Keep strong and live a happy loving life. 🙏🏼✨😊
You figured them out to a “T”. Best explanation I’ve heard of the narcissists anger. Thank you for confirming what I’ve always felt. It’s a no win game for anyone ensnared by this kind of broken human
I agree...totally Best description I have heard...
Everything you’ve said is stop on I would how do you get away 😢
They are sick
@@andrewsmith3257 A true narcissist is a wolf in sheeps clothing. The only thing they fear in this world is an empath who gets wise, who wont tolerate their bullshit.
@@heartofpuregold try living with one
My gold standard is to ignore narcissists with no contact and let them rot in their own sewer.
Amen ✝️❤️ John 15:14 (NKJV)
You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.
“They push or punish you to keep trying more but more is never enough. They are the unaware slaves of their own doing but, illusionary, believe others are responsible for everything that happens in their life” ain’t that the truth!!!!!
Narcissists react in thwarted-toddler rage when they don't get their own way at any moment.
Mostly it seems that they constantly compare others with themselves and whatever others have that they lack (material things, a good marriage, skills, talents, friends) they get green-eyed with jealousy. All that jealousy turns to hatred at those who have what they lack. It simmers and comes out as hostility and anger for the damndest things. They’ll pick a fight if they see you are happy about something, shooting down your positive mood.
@Arsene Lupin III Hehe and then they’ll put you down behind your back because of that. You can’t win with them. But yeah that’s better than supplying them. I’ve learned to cut them off because I just don’t have the time, patience or energy for their BS.
A couple of things that come to mind:
- Brain damage in the womb (emotional incontinence)
- Bad childhood (with narcissist parents)
- Living off drama bites them back
- Committing crimes bites them back
- They hate you
- Knowing they will end up alone
All reasons why they are angry
Helena, my ex husband was one of 2 brothers. Both treated exactly the same, to a point. The brother was polite,intelligent, qualified in mental health. My ex scammed and hardly worked officially. Mostly cash in hand, never paid tax,feigned disability, got UK benefits. I worked, then came home to start again. He was lazy, arrogant shouty and intimidating at 550 lbs in weight. He was deviously clever, sky, but also charming and a Walter Mitty character. If he had used all this positively he could have had so much more. His wealthy auntie and uncle saw through him very early on. His brother was well looked after by them, my ex had to do it his way. He never got a penny. I see the same with William and Harry. One is compliant the other rebellious. He did end up alone. Why don’t narcissists change, why can they not see has other people ‘work it’. Best wishes from Devon
@@pinkcrayon1382 when did I mention the royal family.
It's not normal to be mean spirited, you to ignore and stay away permanently, it's the best thing I did for myself
Ephesians 6:12 NLT
For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
You perfectly described a family member who is aggressive, bullying, arrogant and critical of anyone who does not treat her as if she is a princess. She's 34. She will not accept any criticism and becomes enraged if anyone disagrees with her. She will attack someone for no reason. There's no way to confront this person because family members make excuses, refuse to correct her and then expect everyone else to overlook her behavior. Thank you for this insight.
I have a relative exactly like that.
@@marybethphillips4925 It's exhausting even being around someone like that for 10 minutes. They walk in and suck all of the oxygen out of a room. I hope you're able to keep some distance from the person you know who is like that. I refuse to go to any family gatherings where the person I know is present. Life is too short to waste time with a person who's incapable of considering anyone but themselves.
It's every family, but people keep it secret.
My wife is a narcissist and I didn't realize it till years into our marriage. Learning a lot. It has made MY life better knowing this. I just did not recognize this.
This is a story about. Petr who was heartbroken by his lover Annabelle
At first, there were this dream couple everyone wished or rather still looked up to in admiration of their cuteness and love which there both share
Growing up, Petr always got everything, the Brains, grades, loves and attention. Meanwhile Petr grew up into becoming a tech guy, and got married to his childhood sweetheart Annabelle, there both were a thing of joy to glimpse on through, well things got so well and there were this perfect dream couple
Month passed by and Annabelle started going off on her childhood sweetheart Petr, but whenever there both left the house, it always seems things were going on smoothly for the love lovebirds.
Month passed by and years followed, still there were looking like this evergreen perfect couples, like an eagle flying above the sky for the little birds and fowls to look-up to and wish there was the ones looking so happy and fly as Petr and Annabelle was
Alas Petr was going through an emotional abuse and trauma in their long lost love relationship but coming out and calling it a no no to their existing old lost love was such a difficult task for Petr to do
Petr was this brainaic tech guy who at the early stage of their marriage noticed the sudden change of Annabelle's attitudes, she got this narc traits from day one but the saying which goes love is blind overshadowed his sense of reasoning as at that time, well a chip click encryption was entailed on his wife's phone by Petr just to confirm to him his fears, there were all TRUE, an Affair going on behind his back by his wife, Shaking His Head he .......
decided to keep it on or what ??
perhaps you want to get the full details of their time and relationship, struggles and more info into their life and ..
Find out what happened later on after Petr the tech guy got to know about his wife's dealings,
Now Petr's programming company called "pettoolzzz" where he helps out with persons who got issues with spouses LOYALTY, narcissist victims support, he helps track mobile phone calls, gain access to all messages,facebook and instagram chats, emails, and lots more in getting hardcore real evidences about your partners.
DON'T HIDE IN SILENCE NO MORE, IF YOU NOTICE ANY RED FLAGS🚩IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, WAIT NO MORE PETR IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE AND WELCOMES ALL, SOMEONE WITH A FIRST HAND EXPERIENCE WITH NARCS @ "PETTOOLZZZ 💌 come get a valid loyalty tests on your partners and know where your loyalty stands link below to Instagram👇
instagram.com/pettoolzzz/
Instagram handle: PETTOOLZZZ
The most heart breaking part is going through this type of marriage, being in love with them, and feeling you have been knocked in the side of the head when they do things...like dropping you off for a job interview, and you having to walk an hour into town to find them chatting...yet you are the bad guy for asking where they were....are you suggesting they can't visit their friends. Yep, that hurt and was very confusing. Spent 20 years wondering what in the world, why does she do these things everyday? Starting learning about Narcissistic disorder....now everything is making sense. Problem is, I really do love her, but I don't like this problem, are they fixable? I am leaving her for health reasons....I can't take the nonsense anymore...but really wish there was something else that could be done.
Similar situation, but my life has become harder because I realize I'm being abused and the abuse has become worse.
You have only done half the job. Now that you know they are a narcissist the next part of the job is to get them out of your life. Just knowing what they are but staying is going to leave you remaining in hell.
GET OUT NOW
Had to walk away from wife and step kids because the wife is a narcissist and daughter is becoming the same way. So I am now the bad guy for leaving.
Yep..that's what they do. Divorce does not stop them. Stay as far away as you can.
Run !!!!!
And if you succumbed to every demand- you’d be the bad guy.
I had to do the same thing when he or one the children that lived with me stabbed my dog. Unbelievable
Its sad, but I understand totally. I'm in a similar situation now.
Holy crap! I've been studying various narcissism experts for several years and this is BY FAR the *MOST CONCISE, COMPACT, AND COMPLETE DESCRIPTION* I've ever heard. Kudos sir, so glad I found your channel!
Luke 12:53 NLT
Father will be divided against son and son against father; mother against daughter and daughter against mother; and mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.
Fun! I talked to myself constantly. And I find myself always said the same things: they ARE always angry. Constantly blaming me doesn't matter my faults or not. They even invent the reasons to get mad or even with me. Everything I said to them are insulting according to them. They can never do no wrongs and I can do no rights 😞
Yes, their most prominent intense emotion is in fact anger. In case I am familiar with it's actually a kind of an addiction to all chemicals connected with angry outbursts. It has entire spectrum of symptoms any addict would have. Took me a good few years really to comprehend it and to accept that yes, one can be severly addicted to their own anger but yes, they are always angry, happens to be brutally true. Can be so angry all the time that their brans somehow can really get chemically addicted to this anger. This is why anyone around such people has to take this into account and to put their safety first. No matter how much you love them. They are constantly angry and their brain might in fact progress into a brain of anger addict and they may feel and act like an addict when they fly into anger , yes. Unfortunately this is how it in fact is. " They even invent the reasons to get mad or even with me"- what I'm familair with . To me manifestation of a case in which a narcisstic person has already became their own anger addict. This is when they actively seek any reason they can blame on any part of thier outer environment to have an excuse to fly into rage and to enjoy adrenaline and release of emotions during an angry outburst. Since this is in fact chemically speaking a 3 stage process subjected to at least 3 groups of chemicals ending with very relaxing ones. And they seek to release the tension of negative emotions they cannot release otherwise. "They can never do no wrongs and I can do no rights"- it has to do with their own self-image. They cannot integrate into their self-image any idea of their own "imperfections". Has to do with what I said in other comments about avoiding any accountibility for anything and the fact that any attempts to make them accountable or responsible for anything works like a triggger for their anger. Inside their mental bubble they are perfect and others are the problm, so of course "you can do no rights/ you can never do anything well " and "if anyone did something wrong in here it obviously must have been you, not them".
Perfectly true. Analysis of the anger and rage is important. Proverbs 19:19 “A man of great wrath shall suffer punishment: for if thou deliver him, yet thou must do it again.” The message is. DO NOT DELIVER A MAN OF GREAT WRATH. he sets his own fires; let him put them out.
Everything in human experience is addressed in the Bible. There is nothing new under the sun.
@@genxx2724Amen ❤️✝️ John 15:14 (NKJV)
You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.
Trigger example: Narcissist coming from the garden in and out the house. I'd just cleaned the floor and asked; Can you please clean your shoes? You can guess the reaction! 😁
When you are onto a narc. your life becomes even harder because you realize you are being abused.
Thank you, Danish. So spot on! I can relate. Happened to me for 14 consecutive years. I now know I was not the crazy or psychotic partner. I am healing from chronic depression and receiving counselling. Thank you again to channels like yours.
That's the ticket, they push their crazy onto us and then have the audacity to call us nuts, mine did it in front of the kids, even put locks on their doors so I couldn't clean their rooms, who does that? Idiot!
As an angry narcissist, this is eye opening. I have a lot of work to do. Thank you for posting this.
I can say everything you pointed out is true. I am living with a narcissit.
silke … I will pray for you …
yeah, he just got really upset. Made the mistake to criticise him by pointing out a lie he told me 24 hours ago. Yelled from the top of his head. I need to learn not to question him he said.
Get away now. Don’t spend one more day with a narcissistic 👿
@@TheSilke73 they lie everyday
I work with and OCPD Narcissist and these traits are definitely present. I've learned to play kind, aloof, and professionally competent. I say good morning, good evening, and mostly keep quiet around them. I make up appointments to distance myself from their desire to have me close. I turn down any lunch offerings, I make up excuses to drive separately and stay in different accommodations from them. When they start projecting their rage onto me I learned to look silently and directly in their eyes with compassion for THEIR mental health and not respond to what they are saying. They WANT to have conflict and they want to blame someone for their negativity. I spent years ruminating until I learned that they had a personality disorder they were projecting onto me.
It's sad that this world has people as awful as narcissists within it.
I dated a narcissist. He was very passive aggressive..and it seemed to be whenever I was feeling confident and if I was just giving my opinion on something...just a normal conversation and my input and BAM he would have to put me down!
In my experiences narcissists always want to control your life and boss you around,they get very jealous when you have good news.
They are like trying to befriend a rabid wolverine. And it takes years to actually see this truth clearly enough to literally run for your life. But once you find the grit and grace to do that, you can look in the mirror and smile at the wonderful human being , they sought to destroy, but weren't able to. Rejoice in your much deserved victory and fly with that new set of wings called sweet freedom!
"They are like trying to befriend a rabid wolverine."- the best descirption ever. I'm actually laughing at how accurate it is. Very, very true.
That is one of the easiest ways to identify a narcissist, their explosive anger. Anything and everything sets off the powder keg. The tiniest thing blows their anger sky high. Children cannot attach to a parent like this in a normal manner. Nor can a spouse. I remember the first time I saw that kind of anger in my spouse, I was eating corn out of a can, and that set him off. He power threw the can against the ceiling, corn dripped off and it permanently stained the ceiling. That was the first time I saw him act like that. Hot temper is clue number one that you got one. My father was also a narcissist and his temper was just as bad, if not worse.
Danish you made my life ,u have answered many questions I had my husband is narcissistic I didn't know I labelled him many titles but this is the name _narcissist
he threw the corn at the ceiling? hahahaha!
Or your husband could be a high functioning autist, and some things can trigger incredible anger due to unprocessed childhood trauma. Idk not everyone is a narcissist lmao
I can tell that you sadly have first hand experiences with a narcissist because your videos are always very spot on and I can almost sadly relive my own experiences.
To have a narcissistic parent is brutal
Yes.
I had 2 of them narc parents. One the "overlord bread earner" and my mother enraged at her life being spoilt by having children.
It was our fault their financial hardships, their lack of freedom.
When the "overlord" came home, and the car tailights were seen through the window, it was run for the hills! Hide! Stop everything! - wait a few hours until he has lost his anger, then meekly say "hello" if his mood had cheered. Doing the housework for the mother was greeted with a grunt,
I even had $40 pressed into my hand at 16 for a taxi to- "anywhere but here, i have packed your stuff" being constantly compared to their friends children who "have a good university education and good well paid jobs" yet myself hounded out of the house at 16 onto the streets to live on skid row..
@@jonsimmons4150fuck them you deserved better ❤
This is an accurate description of what it’s like to deal with these angry, adversarial people.. I am out the other end after 21 years, the last 9 of which were very difficult. Your love will never be enough to heal them. I can tell you I am soooo grateful for the peace and healing calm I have rediscovered on the other side🌟✨🙏🏼
If you let them, a narc will come between you and everything you love. And that will take you down.
That has happened to me, pray for my restoration ❤
He would not discuss issues giving the excuse he is a simple man, silent treatment, raging, insults behind jokes, not answering phone or text even when important, getting mad if I missed a call or text, wanting constant valudation..
Leave
@@MiteshDamania I did 2 years ago.
I listen to all your videos with tears in my eyes. I am going through a rough patch currently with my narcissistic husband
You are not alone...
I am currently divorcing mine. It’s been difficult. I can see his hate in his eyes.
You are so blessed to be divorcing your husband
@@apsypriya7602 thank you!
U want to talk to mee
Wow, You Totally described the 4-year marriage I was in....I finally left because I realized I had given up almost right I had had 1 bit at a time and I was being yelled at everyday with the angriest person I had ever met...and I kept telling him I felt like I was walking on eggshells....he would sit for hours "arguing" online over issues with strangers....Such a need to be Right Constantly....I did, as was my personallity, not react much to his constant yelling and intimidation except that I would fold on decisions...and he Always had to wear a suit to church....he was like the only one and it was weird....he also was unusually close to his mom....they would share everything and cry together a lot ( his dad was alive but excluded) and they would build each other up constantly....so sad...also, he would react violently towards issues that bothered me...I didn't like (obviously) a big coffee table book of photos of Naked CHildren...when I told him he of course started yelling and said I didn't have an appreciation for art and then went outside with the book and started a Huge fire and burned it!!! Crazy stuff like that all of the time...I should have left so much sooner ....for me it was a bit like the frog in the boiling water syndrome...Thanks for sharing...
I hate to comment this because my intention is not to make you even more upset; narcissists are often pedophiles....
It's not your fault. God bless you❤Matthew 10:34-39 NKJV
Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.
They're not always angry. They are charming, that's why people get lured. Cant be charming if your angry. But the charming behaviour ends at some point.
Hard for me to distinguish narcissism from psychopathy, as they would both seem to have the same issues.
That sounds like the devil. Pride. This person needs humility.
Walking on thin ice, always!
I tell my son - always watch what you speak to whom. Light a match stick in dark is ok but no ok near gasoline. One day he will learn why I kept reminding so. World is so full of immature people around us. Many of them is narcissists.
These people heal a lot better being left alone. Help them to help themselves by leaving the situation. You cannot help them. Your presence is thwarting any healing they may have.
The most disturbing, traumatic and unhealthy part of being around the narc. Sorry your father was that way.
Spot on as usual with all 5 points when it comes to my ex. When he hovered me 3 months ago, I called him out on all this. He had previously been diagnosed with ASPD. I watched him sink down on the couch with his head hung low like a child caught being bad. No rage just silence. I haven’t seen him since and I am on my way to healing. 💪🏻
Sand with my father regressed to a sux year old sulking!
" I watched him sink down on the couch with his head hung low like a child caught being bad"- happens at times, may even take years but it is only a phase. How they process what is impossible for them process so being confronted with their horribly low self-esteem. This initial attempt at such confrontation might result in depressive episode of such kind. I could observe one up close. I would say now that this is a middle stage of a more complex process. And no, they do not stay there for good.
@@agatastaniak7459 agreed !
I spent 7 years with a narcissist, been divorced from him for 33 years. I've moved 5-6 times in that time and always be goes through the Internet to track me down to mail me letters that I never answer. He can't believe I had the gall to leave him since he thinks he is the greatest thing since sliced bread. I went no contact with him decades ago and he still keeps trying to get to me.
This also reminds me of how employers treat their employees .
All learned in families.
My narc flies into a rage when someone accurately call out his incompetence. At first I thought it was a tactic, but now I think it's a defense mechanism. He hates the feeling of inadequacy. He feels entitled to admiration but is too lazy to earn it.
You are so so right ! Just got dumped by a narcissistic gf a month ago and these patterns absolutely match her actions. But I still miss her.......but going back will never be an option !
Yeah, if you really liked her you would miss her, I went thru that. Fill your life up with positive things, pray, read good books, go out with positive friends and stay busy and that’s what helped me forget about him. It will work for you too
Another well-put video. The first section is incorrectly labeled "They have a lot to handle". You mentioned it as "They have a lot to hide". This is the correct label and honestly my health has improved since watching and subscribing to your videos. Narcissists are you expressed are delusional and they hide everything to suit their agenda. You are a smart man. Thank you for your videos.
I'm currently experiencing everything you've just described, walking on eggshells while visiting my 36-year-old son for a week in his home. As usual, I have to try to keep from triggering his anger. I'm not always successful though because it's impossible to know what his triggers are.
N. Porter…my story is identical to Darla’s. I have one child (now 35 yrs old.) I spent her entire childhood by taking parenting classes & attending lectures on human behaviors. I am not the perfect parent, but God knows I’m “one of them.” My daughter is a narcissist 100%. When she realized I was on to her, she distanced herself from me…which gave me the peace I deserve. No drama in her doing that. I suggested we go to group counseling in hopes of mending our mother/daughter relationship. Not for me- but for her. I’m not holding my breath because it’s been a year & she hasn’t addressed therapy since I brought it up. I know for a fact that her behavior is genetically related, as bipolar & narcissistic behaviors run on the other side.
I will most likely never have a healthy relationship with my only child & there’s nothing I can do about that. I am a good person & will not be held “emotional hostage” to anyone. We have safe, respectful, limited & guarded conversations..which works for both of us. This video was true to the “T.”
Please don’t stay in his home again. There’s no reason for you to subject yourself that way.
@@marciemartinez9342 Hmmm. Your comment reeks of unaccountability. " Your daughter is the way she is because she inherited it from the other side. You, on the other hand, are too good to be the cause of any problems".
But the thing is, kids don't distance themselves from good parents. Perhaps it's time to consider your role in the fallout.
@@marciemartinez9342 I'm there with you. I have a 30 year old daughter that does the same with me.
Your a mother. Parents make children accountable for their actions. It's natural parenting role. So my wild guess would be...whenever you you are trying to make him accountable for his actions in any way this probably is a trigger. If anything your say or do impacts his self-image in a manner making him look less perfect than he would like his imagined self to be it's also probably a trigger. Yes, a sensation of "having to walk on eggshells" around someone is very clear indicator of being around someone who is highly emotionally unstable. May indicate a narcissistic person but also often happens to people who are around highly depressed people or bipolar people. Usually serves as a red alert to all mammals sending signals that possible behaviour of another mammal around them is highly unpredictable and could be considered as a potential threat. This is for example something that triggers mistrust and agression among domestic animals such as cats and dogs. Results in unpredictable bitting nad attacks on such humans from both dogs and cats. Cats can also be hissing at or peeing on personal belonging ,for example shoes, of such individuals. This is why we humans should also not ignore such emotional signals which are early alerts of a potential threat. When in doubt just look at your pet reaction to someone if you have some.
Danish - you had the same father as I had a mother. I remember once, when I was about 15, I was sleeping over a friend’s house and she had fallen asleep & a movie came on the tv called “Mommy Dearest”. I was so taken in by this movie. I thought someone must’ve snuck into my home somehow and knew what my mother had done! I couldn’t stop watching & saw it through to the end. I would term my mother a malignant narcissist…truly evil. I’ve never felt like I had a mother. I raised my three younger brothers…my mother had no interest. As an adult, I’ve heard her say many times how well behaved I was until I got to be a teenager. Then I became a nightmare. Yet, others always saw me as so nice; a little shy, but a very kind person. Obviously, I was coming into myself, having a sense of my own identity & she saw that as disobedience. I really appreciate your channel; can’t begin to tell you how much it’s helping me. I moved out of my parents house at 24, moved in with a narcissist who was 20 years older than me (father figure); then, when he died four years ago, was pushed to move back into my parents house and I did. I am now 52; and have a lot I’m dealing with. I feel strongly that I have not accomplished (almost) anything I wanted to in my life; and it took me many years to come to understand what I was up against. In my mid thirties I read a book by M. Scott Peck called, “People of the Lie: the hope for healing human evil”. It was essentially about malignant narcissism. It really opened my eyes, but it took my boyfriend’s death to get me to leave. So many years of loneliness & now I’m back in the original hell I was raised in. I know it sounds terrible, like I’m just feeling sorry for myself. I just wish I could find a way forward and even the desire to move forward. I worry because I often feel almost clinically depressed. But I want you to know how much your videos help. For the first time in a long time I feel a glimmer of hope. Many thanks.
My ex-wife's favorite comment: "you make me like this. There is nothing wrong with me, you are the problem."
That is why four different men have eventually left her and she now is living alone and miserable in the later stages of her life. I guess all of them (men) and assorted friends she left in her wake over the years were also the cause of her emotional unpredictability and abuse.
It helps to take self defence lessons and punch the narcissistic, bully in the nose.
That will teach them a lesson and they will avoid you.
Excellent, very helpful insights. Every narcissist I know, hurt by many, suffered severe criticism as a child. Sadly they do the same to others.
One etreme or the other - they can also be very spoiled as children.
It's not your fault. God bless you❤Matthew 10:34-39 NKJV
Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.
After almost 10 year relationship, and over a year of therapy, you made me realised that I was a victim of a true narcissist. And how can I tell, since she was so sweet, so insecure, so introvert? I always thought that I was at blame. I just wanted to love, and to be loved. Over half a year took me to realize that she wasn't so perfect, especially with acts she did after break up (it was me who eventually caused a split). Thank you Danish.
Never give them the time of day.
That's my eldest brother. He cannot accept any criticism and will get extremely defensive and go on the attack to defend himself, even when I am very gentle and non direct in giving him a negative comment about his behaviour. He will "never" admit he is in the wrong! I cut ties with him 2 days ago and I'm unsure if there will be a backlash reaction from him.
No contact ever again!
No contact with my sister for months. They almost never change.
@@livelife5890 they will NEVER change
This is how my mom is. I grew up with her getting angry and being cold, silent, and looking at us with hatred until she was placated. You could cut the tension with a knife. I never fit in with the other girls because she didn’t buy me the right clothes, but she was, and still is, very stylish. I’d have to stand around in clothing stores while she bought things for herself. It’s only recently that I’ve heard colleagues say their mothers made sure they had good wardrobes even though they didn’t have much money, because it’s so important for girls. It hurt my confidence and I became withdrawn and avoidant. It affected my college years, who I felt I could fit in with, and continues to affect me to this day. I do not have the friends I should have, and have never had the confidence to date the kind of men people would expect me to be with and marry.
@@genxx2724 keep looking for right friends. That is very important
Nailed it on the head. Have a close family member like this and have decided to just stay away from them. So much more peaceful.
Excellent video. Well done. You have explained the narc behavior very well. The fact that these creatures cannot handle criticism or advice is a good point .They will see that as insulting and react with instant aggression. Stay away God bless
Narcissists desire to argue with other people with fabricated false predicament, in order to deflect your center of attention for their own benefit. And the following are the triggers of this horrid dissension:-
(1) He/she will inveigle any matter in question that arouses trepidation to someone else.
(2) He/she will drive you till you end up to a level of moral culpability.
(3) He/she will irritate much of your chagrin.
(4) He/she will manifest signs of much dubieity of your aptitude.
(5) He/she will impel you to play the second fiddle to any circumstance.
Deep down they feel inadequate .
But they have no right to abuse people ...
Their right place is behind bars .
What you said is SO true, the memories bring tears to my eyes. I’m physically safe and free of them, legally - almost free. I will never figure out how I allowed myself to get caught up in the web, I’m just grateful I had a wonderful upbringing that the embers of my self esteem, my self confidence and my self respect did not let my soul die and gave it the love and strength it needed to be where I am today. I wish this for everyone who needs to set themselves free of a toxic relationship. ♥️ & ☮️. D.
It's not your fault. God bless you❤Matthew 10:34-39 NKJV
Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.
Thanks for shining a light on their vulnerabilities; I didn't realize that when they got angry it was bc they were trying to hide the fact that they were/are not 'perfect'.
Thank you Danish. You’ve described my husband exactly. He’s a narcissist according to all points expressed by you. I feel better now bc I couldn’t express myself and my emotions before. I’m the abused spouse, unable to leave him and i don’t know what else I can do to keep sane. It’s been 49+ years now.
Start doing things that make you happy and don’t take it personally. This is hard to do but it’s not impossible. Ignore him like you would ignore a brat. Don’t let him control you actions. I gotten some good advise from UA-cam videos. I’ve been here for 37 years and now found out what the problem is, but I started detaching myself a long time ago. Hang in there and take one day at a time.
@@von20808 thanks. I will try to depersonalize.
It's better to be alone than live in misery with a toxic person. It's never too late! Work on your escape plan, life is too short to be drowning in unhappiness. If you aren't strong enough to leave at least try to be proactive with counseling & time outs. Or you can just accept your fate & live with it.
@@episodebeats2817 thanks for your advice.
Hi Mila. I’m in the same situation with my husband of 10 years. It’s hard because I have no family to move in with and we have a 5 year old son. I don’t want to be homeless so I just try to find small things each day that make me happy and I try my best to ignore him and stay in my room.
"Let the healing begin" indeed Sir Bashir!
This is spot on!!! Worse thing on earth is to live with one
Wow, I've watched a number of your videos tonight and have to say yours are the best and most succinct I have seen on this topic. I am a survivor of near 2 decades of narc abuse. Diagnosed with CPTSD(as is my son now since having to live with the narc since I became even more disabled from the extreme stress). You have really nailed this person I have had in my life so well. It's like you have been watching the horrible video of our lives for all this time. I twigged that this person's tiredness they'd developed was from the sheer exhaustion of their public persona and all the different people they are to the different interest groups they 'belong' to, the groups are so diverse and clash with each other too. Just the public dance of different personas, and then being what my late great aunt used to call a 'street angel and house devil'. My own health has suffered so badly over the years and now my son has the IBS and PTSD and other health problems and is only 17. He's moving to live with me as soon as it can be organised. I hope everyone watching your videos is able to escape from the narcs in their lives.... they are really monsters and it's exhausting walking on eggshells. I hope my son and I can heal once no contact is implemented.
Thanks bro. I'm starting to understand some of the tricky slimy slippery folk I have to deal with in life. Thankfully The Almighty is casting them out of my life one by one, and I couldn't be happier. 🔥🥊🔥
With a Narcissists its damned if you do and damned if you don't.
Your videos are more insightful than most about narcissist. And each narcissist is different. I was told Altruistic Narcissist is hard to detect. They are a wolf in Sheep's clothing. I was raised by one. And growing up in a Catholic environment was hard. Well meeting narcissist and being with them was my whole life. Was with a narcissist for 12 yrs. Then married him for 10 yrs until he found another gullible soul. Been divorced 14 yrs now I'm much happy but still meet a few here and there. I am grateful for educating myself in every aspect I can, because when you least expect it the anger can get out of hand. Thank you for these videos and I'm glad you have much strength from what you went through to help others.
A life alone is a huge improvement to living with a Narcissist. It's too much drama. It's so nice for a caring person, to be on the path towards being one's self again and to say inside or out loud, 'I don't care.' ❤How uplifting and therapeutic is that!!! ❤ It's like a beautiful breath of fresh air.
Amen ✝️❤️ John 15:14 (NKJV)
You are My friends if you do whatever I command you.
I love this. How they act isn’t cool but this breakdown makes it understandable they are struggling internally.
No justification for bad behavior . Nice video , thank you for this
Perfectly explained. After 30 years my husband left. He would always be angry if I ever asked him about our future plans for us or the children. He would say that I should trust him unconditionally. Whatever we did was never good enough.
Iam only now learning that I was married and lived for 30 years with a Narcissist.
Exactly, those who deals with narcissist peoples i.e family members and surrounding etc. experiences these kind of issues. They assume themselves as superior than everything, very manipulative in nature, full of negativity, it seems devil rules them, always aggressive nature etc.
Like me they knows how difficult to handle narcissists.
Well explained. Thank you 🙏
This guy is describing everything I have realised over the last 10 yrs to a tee ,prior to this I didn’t know what a narc was .
The crazy part about it is if they would be kind us empathy would go above and beyond.
So sorry that happened to you as a kid. No you’re healing others 💙🙏🏻💙
Tamara the Judeo Christian... I was about to write a very similar comment in regard to his childhood and assisting others, so great minds think alike and all that!
I'm feeling extremely upset from reading about horrendous crimes committed by people who were badly abused as children and went the other way, which is beyond sad. ❤