I'm generally a small govt type guy... but one thing we have got to commit to as a society is eliminating easy access to porn for minors. Everyone I know is a victim. Every single person that I've been close enough to talk about this with - we were all exposed to porn before age 15.
You’re getting there. Give it a little more time and you’ll drop the remaining qualifiers. “Eliminating easy access to porn for minors.” -> “Eliminating access to porn.”
I didn't get exposed to it til I married my husband and it was so hurtful. 14 years later and he had cheated and been so abusive. Marriage ending. I hate p*rn.
Porn user from 12-27. This guy has taken the first huge step. Vocalize your shame. I did it with a monk at a monastery. I prayed and asked God for strength. Breaking porn addiction is very difficult. Haven’t watched porn since.. been almost 4 years now. You got this man. Live a higher life.
@@bradastra6111honestly I think masturbation isn’t bad but watching porn excessively and thinking about it as much as you do when your addicted or even if it’s just a habit is a bad road to go down bc your brain is just so used to the dopamine rush that it just resorts to it all the time. Just speaking my from my experience.
You shouldn't quit both at the same time. Quit corn first. When you can't resist the urge, masturbate without any recollection, don't rewind, don't reminisce, just jerk off. Your urge would temporarily go down. But if you want your urge to go down drastically, then do intermittent fasting, eat less food, workout a lot, and keep recollecting your promise to yourself.
@@bradastra6111 same, in my mind both are "connected" and i dont know if i should quit porn or porn + masturbation a 100%. ive been addicted to this sh1t since i was 10, i literally just turned 18, and the content ive been consuming is starting to get darker, i feel more disgusted about myself everytime i do it. yesterday i had a total breakdown and felt the most ashamed i ever felt in my entire life, ultra disgusted about myself and the things i were doing, i promise to God i will stop. i feel ready to quit a 100%, i delete it everything that has to do with that from everywhere on my pc and phone, i need to change or i dont know whats gonna happen with my life, porn is easily one of the most diabolical thing that ever happened in humanity
This is a problem here in the USA. I was exposed to pornography at 12-13 years old. I can say as a man now that has turned 60 these images leave an imprint on the brain . The dopamine rush once used this way is a lifelong struggle to deal with. Thank you Dr. John for the video. I hope this young man gets healthy, it is one hell of a battle to overcome.
I was addicted from 11 to 23. I'm 31 years old now ( female, it that matters). It first started with VHS tapes and magazines, but rapidly escalated when I was 14 and high speed Internet became a thing.First, it was vanilla pron, then lesbian, then only violent BDSM could turn me on. At some point I ever questioned my sexual orientation because pron messed me up. I objectified people. So I never had a climax with a real person, no matter what they did. I've become very frustrated with myself and decided to quit it. And I did. So glad I left pron behind.
This is such an awful and devastating addiction which appears to be affecting nearly every male from 12 year old through death. It has literally affected every aspect of my life from the time I was a toddler. My teen cousins raped and molested me using their father’s porn, my 40 year old brother in law groomed me into a sexual relationship at 12, and then I learned that my husband of 20 years is also a porn addict. It is a disgusting disease that eliminates any possibility of the men afflicted being capable of a committed or serious relationship. Unfortunately so many men are suffering from this it has been normalized due to the majority of men being sick with it. Heck even women are being sucked into it now. I haven’t the slightest clue as to how we solve this when a majority of the population is addicted to it.
First of all I’m very sorry for what happened to you, it’s a nightmare. To your point that all men are affected, I really believe it. Men form their views on what sex is and women in general from porn. That trickles down to how women behave as well, some of us try to be “the porn start” to satisfy our bfs, spouses, to feel “sexy”, to feel “confident”… it’s really sad. It’s not only sad tbh but also very scary how men can loose their minds and get into all kinds of fetishes, even drug abuse, crimes and paraphilias. The real pandemic is porn in our society and the majority of men will never stand up against it.
Yup. There are a lot of people out there that believe it's totally normal. It's mostly men telling other men it's normal, that everyone looks at it. Even women try to tell other women to not get upset by their husband's or boyfriends looking at it. I don't care what anyone says. Its NOT normal to watch people having se x.
I agree to an extent. I think porn addiction is very rampant, and unless you’re going down devious routes and viewing things we all know is downright wrong. You can recover with your soul intact. Anything involving anyone being hurt or the obvious, children, is absolutely unacceptable. And by willingly viewing it, you’re admitting you’ve become a terrible person. And likely can’t save yourself
One of the things I hear that REALLY infuriates me is the phrase, “Sex work is work.” NO. Sex “work” is destructive, abusive, and in many cases illegal and involve kids. “Sex work is work” is one of the biggest lies perpetuated in our culture today. It DESTROYS lives.
@@bartekchromik3564it's work as in, debilitating for body and mind in the same way as working with asbestos is We really don't need to legitimize it. We ought to be helping people so vulnerable who are forced to resort to it, not glamourizing it, or thinking its _the only way to afford your ideal Pinterest home because let's get real here - even Groceries are unnafordable_
I hope this man is able to take control of his life and taps in to who he is without the porn. Good on him for doing this now as this definitely would hurt his future relationships and general productivity in college.
My heart breaks for him. Porn addiction is so difficult to break. Plus it sets people up to think real relationships are like this. And have others have said, it destroys relationships.
Any addiction is difficult to break. I had a food addiction and can argue that it's just as hard as being a meth addict. Addiction does destroy relationships and destroys the abuser.
My heart breaks for kids being exposed to this at such a young age, and how it effects them going forward. You took a big huge step today and we're all rootin for ya. YOU GOT THIS JACOB.
JACOB…. I’m a wife of a husband with pornography addiction, PLEASE PLEASE get help, I didn’t pay attention to my husband when he confess his addiction and it escalated until he meet up with girls, I don’t know if I’m getting a divorce, we are trying… THIS is a lot and I know this will escalate more and more… GOD BLESS YOU 🙏🏽
Very brave call. I have experience with porn addiction and its a horrible thing to deal with. I wish I had never watched porn in my life. Its such a dirty horrible thing that needs to be banned. It ruins lives. I struggled with it for 3 years to the point where I completely lost myself. It took bad events for me to finally stop. To all young men PLEASE DO NOT WATCH PORN. PLEASE SPEND TIME WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY INSTEAD
I'm super impressed that someone as young as him would take this issue so seriously and behave so adult like on this matter. And considering it is such a serious issue, where were his parents in this and why didn't they put child restrictions on his computer/phone? This is why children should NEVER have screen time alone. Because they absolutely will go looking. It starts with curiosity and ends with the chipping away of your soul.
I wouldn't be so hard on the parents. My parents did everything they could to keep me from looking at porn. I still found ways. I was addicted (and still am) to it and where there's a will there's a way. The fact that this young man is taking it seriously at his age and making such a call to get help tells me his parents are probably good people that raised him well
It’s extremely difficult to use those parental controls with a smart kid. We thought we were good parents only allowing our teen a kindle with all the controls on it. He somehow figured out how to bypass it. This was after a year prior, we had been watching Netflix together. Jim Gaffigans show was fine for my 13 year old. But I didn’t know when I left the room to go to the kitchen Netflix would play a show that had a man performing oral on a woman as the opening scene. My child was shocked as he had never seen anything like it and had no idea what was going on. It’s so difficult as a parent. Never before in the history that we know have we had to deal with this. And in that moment I didn’t want to make sex seem like a dirty thing. But I had to apologize to him that he saw that like that. And I know it’s what led to his curiosity with the kindle later. He was home educated until 9th grade. Trust me, you can control everything and the way it is all set up is on purpose. I firmly believe they’re corrupting our youth on purpose.
@@Recoveringred you can't watch anything without some x rated scenes. Its in everything. I don't know how many times I've watched movies with my children and some unexpected graphic scenes pop up. It's disturbing .
Yep totally. Had a ton of friends divulge similar to me. Not even re: sketchy stuff. But just that it left them with probs in relationships and intimacy. Like, completely ruined their IRL love lives through impotence, avoidance, unrealistic expectations... everything. Girls too. Not everyone's gonna give you the full picture of what they do in private. I just think everyone needs to actually deal with the issue instead of ignoring it And of course it doesn't mean an outright ban but dude we're SO behind we can't even bring ourselves to DISCUSS IT yet. 😒
That stuff wasn't so easily to get when I was a kid. Nowadays its everywhere. The caller said 12 but I wouldn't be surprised that the next generation gets exposed to it at even younger ages.
I’m 23 and for me it was 11 on the family computer. got to the point where my family would be across the room watching tv and i would be doing that on the family computer. i got caught due to the internet searches and my dad told me if i did it again he would make me hold a sign outside of church saying i like porn. well it didn’t stop there. got an ipod touch at 13 and well… my brother was doing the same thing on his phone and caught buying videos/photos online because my dad noticed it on the phone bill. I barely watch it anymore. I wish I never did
I'm 44 and was 8 years old when I first saw porn. It messes people up for sure! I'm finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, but the internet has certainly made it harder over the years. Unfortunately, people are too quick to judge and that results in more shame. My 8 year old self had no idea what was going on and what chemicals I was releasing into my body.
My daughter had her 7 rear old friend put it on her tablet even though we didn't allow internet while at home, but she took it to his house. 7 years old. She asks questions no one her age should even know to ask.
It's sad that minors have such easy access to pornography. It will 100% mess up their ideas of relationships and sexually relationships. I hope he is able to get past this addiction and grow past this.
The ease in which minors are able to access this stuff is so damaging I can't even say this enough. I work in early childhood education. These little children are performing these actions on each other and it's destroying our society. It makes me feel hopeless
Thanks so much for this video…..my porn addiction almost ruined my marriage……I’ve been sober for over 2yrs, I speak openly about my struggles with my wife and my friends. I also meet with my counselor/therapist(who specializes in sexual addictions & compulsions) on a regular basis. Our culture is so overly sexualized, it’s hard to get away from it but the advice and guidelines that you advised this young man our spot on. In addition, I have watched several of your videos and I just wanted to say thank you for being bold and speaking truth into these peoples lives. God’s Peace to you and your family.✌🏼
This is why dating sucks so bad for women, because “some” men struggle with so many damn addictions. It is so bad! I truly feel bad for all who are addicted.
@@gbear34 I can see that because the world lied to women and told them they had to be independent and not rely on men, hence making them masculine, hence falling into these addictions that mostly men have. I wish the government would regulate the sex industry (porn). It’s only gonna get worse, we have “average” and “below average” people doing OnlyFans who are going to be screwed mentally. People hit a wall at all years in life, but as a healthy 46 yr old female, for me it was age 45, it hit me hard. 🤷🏻♀️
Addiction isn't exclusive to men. I can argue most women are addicted to their phones. I see almost all women driving with a phone in their hand. So let's not make this about just men because women suffer from it as well. I run a liquor store and men and women equally struggle with alcoholism.
@@gbear34 I think men are missing the point. Someone stating a fact that a lot of men struggle with this doesn’t mean you have to “defend” us men and say “well women are addicted too!” That takes away from us men taking accountability and responsibility for porn use. Yes women can have various addictions, but if we are being honest with ourselves men are the statistically (much higher percentage by the way) the majority of the sexual criminals and have more addictions to porn.
I’m going to play this for my two teen sons as reinforcement to ongoing conversations we have had. Both my husband and I were exposed at age 8 and it hurt both of us. Luckily we have healed a lot together. And I’ll never forget the day my hubby came to me all on his own and said I don’t want to watch that anymore. It makes me feel bad and it has always made me feel bad. I agreed. I knew that feeling. And to have one person you share all your intimacy with us such a blessing. You really do grow together in a way that you can’t if you’re sharing any of yourself/energy in any other way. Imo. For some of us. I know not everyone is meant to live the same life but I hope this encourages someone.
@@Shaolin91z bet me & my hubby have way better intimacy than anything youll ever exp in your lifetime buddy. The emojis make you look like a reactive woman. Btw.
On average, by 8 years old a child has been exposed to pornography … so it’s important to make sure to talk with young kids about how to respond when they are exposed to things they shouldn’t see. Unfortunately for me, beginning as a very young toddler I was forced to view/watch pornography by a family member and to then imitate what I saw (sometimes while photos & videos were created). This continued for MANY years through my teens. Decades later and I’m still dealing with the negative effects that pornography has had on my life!
That was sexual abuse. You were sexually abused as a child. Such a thing really twists one's heart and mind. I hope you've found a therapist who can help you work the whole thing out of your system.
I was engaged to a porn addict, and our sex life was horrific. He treated sex as though it was a porn shoot, and he repeated the same scene sequence every night. He sickened me. Porn becomes people’s identity which is scary.
I understand this guy. I too had a porn addiction since i was 12. It started with pictures of girls i liked from school, then adult magazines, then video, and finally internet. I have never done the online fantasy thing. I can say that your advice about taking time off from school was spot on. He's surrounded by beautiful girls. That desire to mastubate is ten fold in that enviroment.
honestly it’s not the girls irl that cause a relapse. it’s any internet women with barely any clothing. soft core porn on instagram has caused more relapses than i can count.
But if you pay attention to Dr. John's advice, staying at college being surrounded by beautiful girls should actually be a good thing because now he's more inclined to hookup with a real girl instead of masturbating alone to porn. You have to replace porn with a REAL WOMAN, that's the ONLY way to get off the addiction.
Lost my last relationship due to this addiction. Objectfying women seeps into all parts of men's lives. I had hope he would fight it but the sneaking and lying started again after a few months.
Such a childish way to put it. "Objectifying women"... there is so much more to it than that, grow up lady. He started when he was 12, I highly doubt he got into it for objectifying women. A lot of the time it is from lack of relationships, loneliness and so on.
@@Ryan-wx1biit does not matter whether he went into it intending to objectify women. The fact is that using pornography IS objectifying women, period. Therefore regardless of his original intentions he has in fact trained himself to do so, unconscious or not, the result is the same. Similar to the heroin junkie who started out taking a vicodin for a tooth extraction.
What he was saying wasn't insane. I am a single guy and admittedly In 2023 it is very easily accessible. It is almost unavoidable. He does have to get rid of all the devices or he has to get rid of print media erotica if he still has that sort of thing. You have to go all in with it on this one.
Coming from a recovering porn addict, I was in the same shoes as him. I looked at porn when I was first 11 thanks to late night movies and then that evolved to the internet and then when I was in college, I clicked on a webcam site and then I got hooked throughout most of undergrad/grad school. I think I craved the attention that I felt from participating in it. I must have easily spent thousands of dollars mindlessly. It's a hard cycle to get out. But I found Christ in the midst of my brokenness and by the blood of Jesus, I am forgiven of my transgressions! Recovery has not been easy and I still have had some mishaps but I keep moving forward. I am so blessed to also have an amazing supporting wife who is in lockstep with me. I pray that the caller finds his peace through Christ. By His stripes, we are healed! 🙏🙌
12 step programs are helpful. I designed a program for myself. I have been clean for years now. The process of freeing myself was humbling . Sneaking around and lying 🤥 produces a lot of shame. The consequences of not are kicking a porn addiction huge. I wish this young man all the best. He’s fighting for his life.
It’s going to be hard for him to date in real life or earn his dop. Because he will likely be those guys who ask for nudes immediately or nudity on video chats because that what women are to him. Or get mad if she says no. Or demand strange things in bed so she won’t have fun and dump him and he also won’t enjoy regular sx. So his dating life is probably going to lead him back to his addiction because he can’t replace cam girls who are faking for money with real life women who have feelings and desires/requirements on his part and icks. He is used to one sided fake sx
Fun fact, the parental controls on an iPhone are 100% effective at cutting off porn access. Block safari, block the App Store so you can’t get to the internet other ways, and block any other apps that it could possibly come through. Then set the recovery email to someone’s email other than your own. Then you can use your phone but can’t access porn at all.
It’s the parental controls app. You can disable any app on your phone. Including Safari. It’s simply just appear on your phone anymore until you enable it again
@@tmi4507There are always energies at play light and dark. I’m not talking about religion but God exists and so does satan. All you have to do is take a look around to know that darkness has taken over. The porn industry is so dark and it sucks you in and damages your soul. It’s all real. I went on a healing journey and discovered who I truly am a spiritual being. Spiritual attacks are always happening. We have been looking only at biology for a long time and we are struggling more now then ever. God is within you not some religious text. Find you and you’ll find God. God healed me and he can heal the world. Again not religion but a true connection to our source. I hope this helps!
@@tmi4507Pornography is giving in to fleshly desires of the world. Satan knows all of our weaknesses and once we let something that is not of God into our lives, Satan will continue that hold. The spiritual world does not necessarily mean religion. Pornography was not created for good. Think about it, you can access it for free. There's nothing good that is free, especially when it gives pleasure to the flesh. I hope you think about these things on more than just a surface level.
@@tmi4507 omg, if you pull that stick out of your arse and open your eyes, you will realize that many religions and science have a lot in common. If God doesn't exist to your humble opinion, why are you so aggravated? to get a back patting that you are "unique"?
Just want to say it can be a female problem as well as I struggle with it constantly. Watching porn since I was like 8 or 9. My brain is so wired for it, it effects my personal relationship, I hate it. I can stay away from it but the intensity is stronger than with a real life person. I wish I could break my brain from having this connection 😢
you can. I was on porn since 9 and until 25. Now i'm 32, female, has been porn and masturbation free and loving it. Why wasting precious time and sexual energy on useless pixels and self gratification, when we have a real person in the life?
It’s so hard to stop, the 1st thing to do is acknowledge that you have a problem, and it is a problem especially if you’re in a relationship.2nd is you have to want to stop. It affects you but also loved ones. I was in denial for years didn’t think it was a problem ( then it hit me hard in my relationship) I quit cold turkey. After much research, help , support and investigation on the matter I’ve been clean over a year. It’s hard and I’m not out of the woods but I’m trying.
I know this will trigger a lot of people, specially men. I just hope that until this caller can get his addiction under control and be committed to continue treating his addiction even when he thinks he is cured, that he doesn't marry someone without being honest about his addiction. It is much easier to see the signs of an alcohol or drug addiction (they are hard to hide), but porn addiction might not be easy to spot in a partner until is too late in a marriage. He is young, in college, nothing wrong with having fun and date, just hope he doesn't hide/lie in a serious relationship that could lead to marriage and kids.
100% right. If you want to live in your addiction that I'd your choice but once your addiction starts hurting other people you must get help. Marriage makes the addiction worse.
i was lucky to not have to deal with that so young , when i was a kid internet was slow and we only had 1 computer and weren't allowed to use it unsupervised
@@charlesbell5500 I can still remember as a 5 year old being exposed to girls gone wild commercials on comedy central in the morning as I was channel surfing. Also playing almost any game on the internet would have pop up ads that lead to porn or annoying sexual games.
I wish this young man the best possible outcome . God give him all the strength he needs to do the work. Corn 🌽 is causing so much negativity in this world 🌎
Have faith in yourself. For myself it was not just thinking that I wanted to quit porn, but that I wanted a better life. Your reason to quit must be more appealing than the porn
Theres one thing I came across during a podcast, cant remember the name of the priest but he has a podcast himself called the Exorcist Files. The priest is an exorcist (Actually I think its from an Interview he did with Matt Fraud on Pints with Aquinas). Point is he goes into what the marital act is, its a bonding that occurs between man and a woman. Both have been united in marriage, made one flesh by Christ. When they have sex its a very intimate and spiritual in itself. BUT the way he goes and explains how porn completely mocks this is that since its being recorded, the act now becomes not just those two individuals in the film but the viewers are intertwind in it as well become 'one'. Its pervese and when you get the picture of what hes saying its absolutely repulsive. Imagine yourself pleassuring to that, but then imagine how you become not only one flesh with them but to everyone else who interacts with the video as well through time... Yup, its horrible to even imagine. I have been addicted too, its been a hard fight. Been porn free for about probably 3 months. Before that been fighting it and had slip but its been 3 months of 0 porn. Thank God and our Blessed Virging mother. I pray everyday and this has strengthen me a lot. I know the fight isnt easy but Ill pray for this young man! Youre 18 dude be a better man! Am 31... you dont want to keep being addicted, fight it you will prevail!
As much as I appreciate social media, it exposed a lot of us to things we should not have seen too young. Addiction is such a struggle. I would suggest apps to block porn and accountability partners that will walk with you. You can do this!
Borrow a laptop from the school library? 😂 I’ve been there done that. It didn’t help. I remembered I was so addicted at one point that I watched “prom” even on a borrowed laptop from the college library. You need a change of heart to really change your ways that’s just what I’ve realized for myself. Don’t ever give up. You can do it and even if you fall countless times, don’t lose hope just keep trying to do better. I think it’s a cycle that people can’t break out of and eventually they just give in and give up. If you really will want it you got it
I haven’t watched it once in 10 months the longest I’ve gone in 15 years so I’ve been proud of that. My what happened was I injured my knee for a second time and I just thought wow life sucks I’ve got to start living better and my biggest sin and Vice was porn so I said never again . I don’t feel so different and better like I had hoped but I’ve come too far down this road to give up and go back
Yes, good for you! God bless you. 🙏 Now, you either need to work on finding a good wife, or if you're already married, having more fun with your wife, loving her more. She should have complete access to all your devices, and vice versa. When I get sexual thoughts, I journal about them in the context of marriage. I simply fantasize of doing that thing with my wife. But it doesn't always work. I'm not married yet but I'm doing my best to prepare for marriage, and a big part of that is quitting porn, which I haven't quite done yet at 25, starting at 11. But I just know that I'm gonna have so much fun with my wife, I won't ever want to watch anything or anyone else because cheating on her would be the last thing I'd want to do.
I’m afraid this is my daughter. She is in counseling and I have to remove all electronics every night. I can’t keep up or monitor 24/7. I’m so exhausted 😢
Yea, the easy access to porn should be eliminated and should be an 18+ thing but kids who are 8 and above can easily have access to it and then it becomes a problem. The addiction slowly starts to spiral out of control. It seems like at least once in your adolescent years have you been exposed to porn, especially guys. Jacob is def brave enough to admit the truth so I applaud him for that.
My ex chose porn over our relationahip and his marriage with me for 20 years and i chose to undermine my own boyndaries and values by staying thinking i could fix him. I violated his boundaries too by thinking I could help him. Eventually I had to leave. He refused to actually show he cared.
Im 60..and am a porn nut...so so so many people are doing the same thing, back when i was a kid you could only see porn from buying or renting tapes..its so easy today..right on yoir phone Google anything ,believe me your not alone
I have a son who is 8 . I’m so worried about him getting into this at age 12 or 13. As a mother I know the importance of communication but still how do you control this? We still have few years ahead but I’m already worried.
I would talk to him soon. My daughter is homeschooled and was still exposed at the age of 7 by kids in the neighborhood... all it takes is some kid with internet access.
This is why I sort of hate porn and how porn actors don’t realize how much they damage the society. My bf has an addition but refuses to get help for it as he has an issue that he can’t get it up. When I was a kid I did not have a laptop, so I did not have access plus I did so much stuff outside of home that I was too busy to go look for porn.
Since 12 years old i started watching this horrible addiction... Im 27 years old now with the years it started to be more horrible and it is really difficult to fight it. Already two weeks im clean and stopped watching but i have the fear that i will lost the fight because it is really hard there are days that it doesnt matter what i am doing all and only in my head is how im opening the browser and start watching this horrible addiction. There were days even at work i cant focus on my work because only in my head is porn...
Also sad fact. Fellas. Not all of us are gonna be fortunate to find love or a woman. Not all of us were meant to procreate. And that’s ok. Find purpose outside of women who knows when you do that maybe one will come your way
It's sad to see, especially in the comments, that discussion of what is problematic about this is from such a narrow viewpoint, with no apparent empathy for the people on screen who we should remember are also human beings. Surely it's should be mentioned that Pornography use is knowingly fueling an industry that is directly responsible for sex trafficking and abuse. The real victims here are not the men with self induced erectile dysfunction. These are real human women being abused and degraded on screen. They're not simply objects for your entertainment.
The most important thing is to take responsibility for your actions. If you refuse to accept that is the ONLY answer, you wont stop anything. No one is forcing you to watch porn.
Guys read between the lines. He's watching child porn . That's why John says he's on his way to JAIL and that's why he threw away the laptop. John realizes this about half way through. Edit: I actually watched again and it's even more obvious than I thought . John talk about him finding " a dark part of the world " come on people
@@CCC9437 watch it again . People don't go to jail for watching pornhub . John tells him he's on the path to jail. John uses the phrase "gnarly stuff" but that's what he's talking about . Also says he's investigated "these things" in other cases . Just listen with it in mind and you will hear it . He's trying to talk to him without calling him out
This might sound strange but try going inside a church when there’s no service.🙏good luck I’ll pray for you. You are young and I have young sons. I spoke to them about these things and told them that once they watch this stuff it will never leave their mind and it changes their brain. You can do it and rewrite your brain. Good luck
Isn't a porn addiction expensive? I have no idea. I'm female, never married, age 73. I have 2 brothers are addicted, nephew & 2 nieces? I could see 50 yrs ago - what a terrible rabbit hole porn was - so I have avoided it like a plague my whole life. I just heard of European web cam porn here - this video. How much does all this cost an addict???? How can 10 yr old boys buy porn???? Please talk about the financial costs of porn. It's gotta be worst than alcohol & drugs. Add porn, alcohol & drugs to weekly expenses😵. Thank you, John!
If every porn addict and betrayed wife all independently calls their rep and demands an outlaw of this crap. If everyone put the presure on they would do something.
One way I found to keep the ability to have a computer and resist using it was to just buy a really nice computer that you really like and tell myself no way am I going to wreck this computer with porn or viruses or garbage like that . Now having other computers that were cheaper was bad
Men if your porn is making your wife jealous that is gold. Period. Trust me I know what Im talking about. Her level of attraction will only remain high for you when she is jealous. I don't know why its that way but it is that way.
I'm generally a small govt type guy... but one thing we have got to commit to as a society is eliminating easy access to porn for minors. Everyone I know is a victim. Every single person that I've been close enough to talk about this with - we were all exposed to porn before age 15.
You’re getting there. Give it a little more time and you’ll drop the remaining qualifiers.
“Eliminating easy access to porn for minors.” -> “Eliminating access to porn.”
I’m 23. was exposed to it at 11. wish I never was
I didn't get exposed to it til I married my husband and it was so hurtful. 14 years later and he had cheated and been so abusive. Marriage ending. I hate p*rn.
@@Steve-nv8dbIs that such a bad thing?
@@ihateallyall Curious why you wish you never were....how did it affect your life/outcome?
Porn user from 12-27. This guy has taken the first huge step. Vocalize your shame. I did it with a monk at a monastery. I prayed and asked God for strength. Breaking porn addiction is very difficult. Haven’t watched porn since.. been almost 4 years now. You got this man. Live a higher life.
tell me, you went no porn or no masturbation? or both? i dunno in my brain those are diferent but im not sure. im curious about what other think...
@@bradastra6111honestly I think masturbation isn’t bad but watching porn excessively and thinking about it as much as you do when your addicted or even if it’s just a habit is a bad road to go down bc your brain is just so used to the dopamine rush that it just resorts to it all the time. Just speaking my from my experience.
You shouldn't quit both at the same time. Quit corn first. When you can't resist the urge, masturbate without any recollection, don't rewind, don't reminisce, just jerk off.
Your urge would temporarily go down. But if you want your urge to go down drastically, then do intermittent fasting, eat less food, workout a lot, and keep recollecting your promise to yourself.
Wow. That’s incredible. You’re doing incredible.
@@bradastra6111 same, in my mind both are "connected" and i dont know if i should quit porn or porn + masturbation a 100%. ive been addicted to this sh1t since i was 10, i literally just turned 18, and the content ive been consuming is starting to get darker, i feel more disgusted about myself everytime i do it. yesterday i had a total breakdown and felt the most ashamed i ever felt in my entire life, ultra disgusted about myself and the things i were doing, i promise to God i will stop. i feel ready to quit a 100%, i delete it everything that has to do with that from everywhere on my pc and phone, i need to change or i dont know whats gonna happen with my life, porn is easily one of the most diabolical thing that ever happened in humanity
This is a problem here in the USA. I was exposed to pornography at 12-13 years old. I can say as a man now that has turned 60 these images leave an imprint on the brain . The dopamine rush once used this way is a lifelong struggle to deal with. Thank you Dr. John for the video. I hope this young man gets healthy, it is one hell of a battle to overcome.
@@dabd8175yes it is bad 🙄
@@dabd8175 yes it is bad
@@dabd8175I actually agree with you. Physical attraction and lust isn’t bad which is essentially what porn is.
@@dabd8175if porn is not bad then what are the benefits of it? Cuz I can’t think of any
I was addicted from 11 to 23. I'm 31 years old now ( female, it that matters). It first started with VHS tapes and magazines, but rapidly escalated when I was 14 and high speed Internet became a thing.First, it was vanilla pron, then lesbian, then only violent BDSM could turn me on. At some point I ever questioned my sexual orientation because pron messed me up. I objectified people. So I never had a climax with a real person, no matter what they did. I've become very frustrated with myself and decided to quit it. And I did. So glad I left pron behind.
I love that you said he is "haunted" because that sh*t truly is the devil.
This is such an awful and devastating addiction which appears to be affecting nearly every male from 12 year old through death. It has literally affected every aspect of my life from the time I was a toddler. My teen cousins raped and molested me using their father’s porn, my 40 year old brother in law groomed me into a sexual relationship at 12, and then I learned that my husband of 20 years is also a porn addict. It is a disgusting disease that eliminates any possibility of the men afflicted being capable of a committed or serious relationship. Unfortunately so many men are suffering from this it has been normalized due to the majority of men being sick with it. Heck even women are being sucked into it now. I haven’t the slightest clue as to how we solve this when a majority of the population is addicted to it.
I am so sorry for everything that has happened to you. Thank you for sharing your experience with this. ❤
I’m so so sorry💔💔💔❤️❤️❤️
First of all I’m very sorry for what happened to you, it’s a nightmare.
To your point that all men are affected, I really believe it. Men form their views on what sex is and women in general from porn. That trickles down to how women behave as well, some of us try to be “the porn start” to satisfy our bfs, spouses, to feel “sexy”, to feel “confident”… it’s really sad. It’s not only sad tbh but also very scary how men can loose their minds and get into all kinds of fetishes, even drug abuse, crimes and paraphilias. The real pandemic is porn in our society and the majority of men will never stand up against it.
People try to promote porn like it’s a good thing, but in reality you really do pay with your soul.
Yup. There are a lot of people out there that believe it's totally normal. It's mostly men telling other men it's normal, that everyone looks at it. Even women try to tell other women to not get upset by their husband's or boyfriends looking at it. I don't care what anyone says. Its NOT normal to watch people having se x.
Yep, literally told my older people that watching porn is normal etc. most guys even say that.
Science has shown it damages the brain the same way drugs does, especially when the consumer is younger.
I agree to an extent. I think porn addiction is very rampant, and unless you’re going down devious routes and viewing things we all know is downright wrong. You can recover with your soul intact. Anything involving anyone being hurt or the obvious, children, is absolutely unacceptable. And by willingly viewing it, you’re admitting you’ve become a terrible person. And likely can’t save yourself
@@sucks2bthemIt is actually normal to get turned on watching other people have sex.
One of the things I hear that REALLY infuriates me is the phrase, “Sex work is work.”
NO. Sex “work” is destructive, abusive, and in many cases illegal and involve kids. “Sex work is work” is one of the biggest lies perpetuated in our culture today. It DESTROYS lives.
Only fans destroys people and families. It is not causing ppl no harm. Ppl who do it should not be guilt free.
Right! It's human trafficking! Anyone involved in porn has somehow been abused in their lives. 😕
,🎯
But... both can be true at the same time?
@@bartekchromik3564it's work as in, debilitating for body and mind in the same way as working with asbestos is
We really don't need to legitimize it. We ought to be helping people so vulnerable who are forced to resort to it, not glamourizing it, or thinking its _the only way to afford your ideal Pinterest home because let's get real here - even Groceries are unnafordable_
I applaud the caller for reaching out and taking his addiction seriously. I support him in getting rid of it. I wish him all the best.
I hope this man is able to take control of his life and taps in to who he is without the porn. Good on him for doing this now as this definitely would hurt his future relationships and general productivity in college.
My heart breaks for him. Porn addiction is so difficult to break. Plus it sets people up to think real relationships are like this. And have others have said, it destroys relationships.
Any addiction is difficult to break. I had a food addiction and can argue that it's just as hard as being a meth addict. Addiction does destroy relationships and destroys the abuser.
It does
It’s not the worst thing
It effects brain chemistry. It ruins families.
@@miamiblueM It's the worst thing bro
My heart breaks for kids being exposed to this at such a young age, and how it effects them going forward.
You took a big huge step today and we're all rootin for ya. YOU GOT THIS JACOB.
JACOB…. I’m a wife of a husband with pornography addiction, PLEASE PLEASE get help, I didn’t pay attention to my husband when he confess his addiction and it escalated until he meet up with girls, I don’t know if I’m getting a divorce, we are trying… THIS is a lot and I know this will escalate more and more… GOD BLESS YOU 🙏🏽
How did you not pay attention when your partner confessed about porn issue?
That would make me wonder.
@@arfriedman4577 it's usual to underestimate this issue or think of it as a normal thing
@@arfriedman4577 frfr
@@NEUTRLSLA sorry I don't understand. I don't do much social media
@@arfriedman4577 haha, it means for real, for real. I’m just agreeing with you 😁
Very brave call. I have experience with porn addiction and its a horrible thing to deal with. I wish I had never watched porn in my life. Its such a dirty horrible thing that needs to be banned. It ruins lives. I struggled with it for 3 years to the point where I completely lost myself. It took bad events for me to finally stop. To all young men PLEASE DO NOT WATCH PORN. PLEASE SPEND TIME WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY INSTEAD
I'm yanking it right now
Omg @@wheresthedeli8822
I'm super impressed that someone as young as him would take this issue so seriously and behave so adult like on this matter. And considering it is such a serious issue, where were his parents in this and why didn't they put child restrictions on his computer/phone? This is why children should NEVER have screen time alone. Because they absolutely will go looking. It starts with curiosity and ends with the chipping away of your soul.
I wouldn't be so hard on the parents. My parents did everything they could to keep me from looking at porn. I still found ways. I was addicted (and still am) to it and where there's a will there's a way. The fact that this young man is taking it seriously at his age and making such a call to get help tells me his parents are probably good people that raised him well
It’s extremely difficult to use those parental controls with a smart kid. We thought we were good parents only allowing our teen a kindle with all the controls on it. He somehow figured out how to bypass it. This was after a year prior, we had been watching Netflix together. Jim Gaffigans show was fine for my 13 year old. But I didn’t know when I left the room to go to the kitchen Netflix would play a show that had a man performing oral on a woman as the opening scene. My child was shocked as he had never seen anything like it and had no idea what was going on. It’s so difficult as a parent. Never before in the history that we know have we had to deal with this. And in that moment I didn’t want to make sex seem like a dirty thing. But I had to apologize to him that he saw that like that. And I know it’s what led to his curiosity with the kindle later. He was home educated until 9th grade. Trust me, you can control everything and the way it is all set up is on purpose. I firmly believe they’re corrupting our youth on purpose.
@@dabd8175you’re a total m o r o n
@@Recoveringred you can't watch anything without some x rated scenes. Its in everything. I don't know how many times I've watched movies with my children and some unexpected graphic scenes pop up. It's disturbing .
If he doesn’t get help, this will destroy him.
No.... He'll destroy another person...
@@abrakadabrah3031 it’s both and.
This is more common, than people think.
More comma too
Yep totally. Had a ton of friends divulge similar to me. Not even re: sketchy stuff.
But just that it left them with probs in relationships and intimacy. Like, completely ruined their IRL love lives through impotence, avoidance, unrealistic expectations... everything.
Girls too.
Not everyone's gonna give you the full picture of what they do in private. I just think everyone needs to actually deal with the issue instead of ignoring it
And of course it doesn't mean an outright ban but dude we're SO behind we can't even bring ourselves to DISCUSS IT yet. 😒
That stuff wasn't so easily to get when I was a kid. Nowadays its everywhere. The caller said 12 but I wouldn't be surprised that the next generation gets exposed to it at even younger ages.
I’m 23 and for me it was 11 on the family computer. got to the point where my family would be across the room watching tv and i would be doing that on the family computer. i got caught due to the internet searches and my dad told me if i did it again he would make me hold a sign outside of church saying i like porn. well it didn’t stop there. got an ipod touch at 13 and well… my brother was doing the same thing on his phone and caught buying videos/photos online because my dad noticed it on the phone bill.
I barely watch it anymore. I wish I never did
Its happening. A kid in 2nd grade got caught what porn at school.
I'm 44 and was 8 years old when I first saw porn. It messes people up for sure! I'm finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel, but the internet has certainly made it harder over the years. Unfortunately, people are too quick to judge and that results in more shame. My 8 year old self had no idea what was going on and what chemicals I was releasing into my body.
My daughter had her 7 rear old friend put it on her tablet even though we didn't allow internet while at home, but she took it to his house. 7 years old. She asks questions no one her age should even know to ask.
It's sad that minors have such easy access to pornography. It will 100% mess up their ideas of relationships and sexually relationships. I hope he is able to get past this addiction and grow past this.
Not just that. Men can't stay hard and orgasm with an actual woman in real life. It's awful.
It also damages their brains.
The ease in which minors are able to access this stuff is so damaging I can't even say this enough. I work in early childhood education. These little children are performing these actions on each other and it's destroying our society.
It makes me feel hopeless
Hopeless? Why? Bible study class replaces hopeless with ✌️
Thanks so much for this video…..my porn addiction almost ruined my marriage……I’ve been sober for over 2yrs, I speak openly about my struggles with my wife and my friends. I also meet with my counselor/therapist(who specializes in sexual addictions & compulsions) on a regular basis. Our culture is so overly sexualized, it’s hard to get away from it but the advice and guidelines that you advised this young man our spot on. In addition, I have watched several of your videos and I just wanted to say thank you for being bold and speaking truth into these peoples lives. God’s Peace to you and your family.✌🏼
This is why dating sucks so bad for women, because “some” men struggle with so many damn addictions. It is so bad! I truly feel bad for all who are addicted.
Rates of addiction among women are skyrocketing too. This is society-wide. We have to do something.
@@gbear34 how about we start by making it illegal like any sane society would
@@gbear34 I can see that because the world lied to women and told them they had to be independent and not rely on men, hence making them masculine, hence falling into these addictions that mostly men have. I wish the government would regulate the sex industry (porn). It’s only gonna get worse, we have “average” and “below average” people doing OnlyFans who are going to be screwed mentally. People hit a wall at all years in life, but as a healthy 46 yr old female, for me it was age 45, it hit me hard. 🤷🏻♀️
Addiction isn't exclusive to men. I can argue most women are addicted to their phones. I see almost all women driving with a phone in their hand. So let's not make this about just men because women suffer from it as well. I run a liquor store and men and women equally struggle with alcoholism.
@@gbear34 I think men are missing the point. Someone stating a fact that a lot of men struggle with this doesn’t mean you have to “defend” us men and say “well women are addicted too!” That takes away from us men taking accountability and responsibility for porn use. Yes women can have various addictions, but if we are being honest with ourselves men are the statistically (much higher percentage by the way) the majority of the sexual criminals and have more addictions to porn.
I’m going to play this for my two teen sons as reinforcement to ongoing conversations we have had. Both my husband and I were exposed at age 8 and it hurt both of us. Luckily we have healed a lot together. And I’ll never forget the day my hubby came to me all on his own and said I don’t want to watch that anymore. It makes me feel bad and it has always made me feel bad. I agreed. I knew that feeling. And to have one person you share all your intimacy with us such a blessing. You really do grow together in a way that you can’t if you’re sharing any of yourself/energy in any other way. Imo. For some of us. I know not everyone is meant to live the same life but I hope this encourages someone.
😂
@@Shaolin91z bet me & my hubby have way better intimacy than anything youll ever exp in your lifetime buddy. The emojis make you look like a reactive woman. Btw.
On average, by 8 years old a child has been exposed to pornography … so it’s important to make sure to talk with young kids about how to respond when they are exposed to things they shouldn’t see.
Unfortunately for me, beginning as a very young toddler I was forced to view/watch pornography by a family member and to then imitate what I saw (sometimes while photos & videos were created). This continued for MANY years through my teens. Decades later and I’m still dealing with the negative effects that pornography has had on my life!
That was sexual abuse. You were sexually abused as a child. Such a thing really twists one's heart and mind. I hope you've found a therapist who can help you work the whole thing out of your system.
I was engaged to a porn addict, and our sex life was horrific. He treated sex as though it was a porn shoot, and he repeated the same scene sequence every night. He sickened me. Porn becomes people’s identity which is scary.
I understand this guy. I too had a porn addiction since i was 12. It started with pictures of girls i liked from school, then adult magazines, then video, and finally internet. I have never done the online fantasy thing. I can say that your advice about taking time off from school was spot on. He's surrounded by beautiful girls. That desire to mastubate is ten fold in that enviroment.
Me too - I mastúrbate at least 3x per day
@@miamiblueMwtf
honestly it’s not the girls irl that cause a relapse. it’s any internet women with barely any clothing. soft core porn on instagram has caused more relapses than i can count.
But if you pay attention to Dr. John's advice, staying at college being surrounded by beautiful girls should actually be a good thing because now he's more inclined to hookup with a real girl instead of masturbating alone to porn. You have to replace porn with a REAL WOMAN, that's the ONLY way to get off the addiction.
Good job, Dr. D. The first time someone discloses something like that is a vulnerable time.
Lost my last relationship due to this addiction. Objectfying women seeps into all parts of men's lives. I had hope he would fight it but the sneaking and lying started again after a few months.
it’s sad that some people value videos of strangers having sex over a life with a person. those people will end up lonely and familyless
Such a childish way to put it. "Objectifying women"... there is so much more to it than that, grow up lady. He started when he was 12, I highly doubt he got into it for objectifying women. A lot of the time it is from lack of relationships, loneliness and so on.
If women didn’t participate porn wouldn’t exist thoes women who are in the industry are responsible for this as well
@@ihateallyalland their children “fatherless”… which is exactly what we’re seeing in society right now.
@@Ryan-wx1biit does not matter whether he went into it intending to objectify women. The fact is that using pornography IS objectifying women, period. Therefore regardless of his original intentions he has in fact trained himself to do so, unconscious or not, the result is the same. Similar to the heroin junkie who started out taking a vicodin for a tooth extraction.
What he was saying wasn't insane. I am a single guy and admittedly In 2023 it is very easily accessible. It is almost unavoidable. He does have to get rid of all the devices or he has to get rid of print media erotica if he still has that sort of thing. You have to go all in with it on this one.
Really? Unavoidable? I’m a 34 year old man and I have been easily able to avoid porn.
Coming from a recovering porn addict, I was in the same shoes as him. I looked at porn when I was first 11 thanks to late night movies and then that evolved to the internet and then when I was in college, I clicked on a webcam site and then I got hooked throughout most of undergrad/grad school. I think I craved the attention that I felt from participating in it. I must have easily spent thousands of dollars mindlessly. It's a hard cycle to get out. But I found Christ in the midst of my brokenness and by the blood of Jesus, I am forgiven of my transgressions! Recovery has not been easy and I still have had some mishaps but I keep moving forward. I am so blessed to also have an amazing supporting wife who is in lockstep with me. I pray that the caller finds his peace through Christ. By His stripes, we are healed! 🙏🙌
Amen brother!
Thank you for bringing awareness to this
12 step programs are helpful. I designed a program for myself. I have been clean for years now. The process of freeing myself was humbling . Sneaking around and lying 🤥 produces a lot of shame.
The consequences of not are kicking a porn addiction huge. I wish this young man all the best. He’s fighting for his life.
It’s going to be hard for him to date in real life or earn his dop. Because he will likely be those guys who ask for nudes immediately or nudity on video chats because that what women are to him. Or get mad if she says no. Or demand strange things in bed so she won’t have fun and dump him and he also won’t enjoy regular sx. So his dating life is probably going to lead him back to his addiction because he can’t replace cam girls who are faking for money with real life women who have feelings and desires/requirements on his part and icks. He is used to one sided fake sx
well. if a sickness is dealt with properly, the person can live a normal life.
Exactly!
Fun fact, the parental controls on an iPhone are 100% effective at cutting off porn access. Block safari, block the App Store so you can’t get to the internet other ways, and block any other apps that it could possibly come through. Then set the recovery email to someone’s email other than your own. Then you can use your phone but can’t access porn at all.
how did you block safari?
Your kid's classmates will show him porn videos on their iPhones during a school bus ride.
It’s the parental controls app. You can disable any app on your phone. Including Safari. It’s simply just appear on your phone anymore until you enable it again
If satan can steal the most physical intimate part of a marriage and own you in the process - satan will. It’s time to surrender your heart to God.
This has nothing to do with religion or god. This has to do with a biological reaction happening to this man.
@@tmi4507Au contraire, it has everything to do with the spiritual world which is not necessarily religion. You just don’t want to believe it.
@@tmi4507There are always energies at play light and dark. I’m not talking about religion but God exists and so does satan. All you have to do is take a look around to know that darkness has taken over. The porn industry is so dark and it sucks you in and damages your soul. It’s all real. I went on a healing journey and discovered who I truly am a spiritual being. Spiritual attacks are always happening. We have been looking only at biology for a long time and we are struggling more now then ever. God is within you not some religious text. Find you and you’ll find God. God healed me and he can heal the world. Again not religion but a true connection to our source. I hope this helps!
@@tmi4507Pornography is giving in to fleshly desires of the world. Satan knows all of our weaknesses and once we let something that is not of God into our lives, Satan will continue that hold. The spiritual world does not necessarily mean religion. Pornography was not created for good. Think about it, you can access it for free. There's nothing good that is free, especially when it gives pleasure to the flesh. I hope you think about these things on more than just a surface level.
Yes so true. Lust is never satisfied
Lust is never fulfilled......Read up on sexual sins in the Bible
Ooooor read up on biology and the brain?
@@tmi4507 omg, if you pull that stick out of your arse and open your eyes, you will realize that many religions and science have a lot in common. If God doesn't exist to your humble opinion, why are you so aggravated? to get a back patting that you are "unique"?
@@tmi4507 exactly!
Well done to this man for calling
Just want to say it can be a female problem as well as I struggle with it constantly. Watching porn since I was like 8 or 9. My brain is so wired for it, it effects my personal relationship, I hate it. I can stay away from it but the intensity is stronger than with a real life person. I wish I could break my brain from having this connection 😢
Wow. I thought women are not visual. At least Im not.
you can. I was on porn since 9 and until 25. Now i'm 32, female, has been porn and masturbation free and loving it. Why wasting precious time and sexual energy on useless pixels and self gratification, when we have a real person in the life?
There's a spirit behind it
Thanks Lord for your strength to get rid of that spirit
Read God's word. It's the only way
You should call into the show!
It’s so hard to stop, the 1st thing to do is acknowledge that you have a problem, and it is a problem especially if you’re in a relationship.2nd is you have to want to stop. It affects you but also loved ones. I was in denial for years didn’t think it was a problem ( then it hit me hard in my relationship) I quit cold turkey. After much research, help , support and investigation on the matter I’ve been clean over a year. It’s hard and I’m not out of the woods but I’m trying.
I know this will trigger a lot of people, specially men. I just hope that until this caller can get his addiction under control and be committed to continue treating his addiction even when he thinks he is cured, that he doesn't marry someone without being honest about his addiction. It is much easier to see the signs of an alcohol or drug addiction (they are hard to hide), but porn addiction might not be easy to spot in a partner until is too late in a marriage. He is young, in college, nothing wrong with having fun and date, just hope he doesn't hide/lie in a serious relationship that could lead to marriage and kids.
100% right. If you want to live in your addiction that I'd your choice but once your addiction starts hurting other people you must get help. Marriage makes the addiction worse.
i was lucky to not have to deal with that so young , when i was a kid internet was slow and we only had 1 computer and weren't allowed to use it unsupervised
I don't think people actually realize how imbedded porn is nearly everywhere.
It's in most ads and labels for any product you can think of!
@@charlesbell5500 I can still remember as a 5 year old being exposed to girls gone wild commercials on comedy central in the morning as I was channel surfing.
Also playing almost any game on the internet would have pop up ads that lead to porn or annoying sexual games.
I wish this young man the best possible outcome . God give him all the strength he needs to do the work. Corn 🌽 is causing so much negativity in this world 🌎
I am 29 years old and wish I would’ve made this “call” 10 years ago… so powerful and honorable.
I still addicted at 30, I will go through a whole talk in my head I am going to stop then right back it that same day. I want to stop so badly.
Have faith in yourself. For myself it was not just thinking that I wanted to quit porn, but that I wanted a better life. Your reason to quit must be more appealing than the porn
Read the bible. It's the only way. The bible helps us to re- new our minds.
Wow, well done, John!! 👏 👏
Theres one thing I came across during a podcast, cant remember the name of the priest but he has a podcast himself called the Exorcist Files. The priest is an exorcist (Actually I think its from an Interview he did with Matt Fraud on Pints with Aquinas). Point is he goes into what the marital act is, its a bonding that occurs between man and a woman. Both have been united in marriage, made one flesh by Christ. When they have sex its a very intimate and spiritual in itself. BUT the way he goes and explains how porn completely mocks this is that since its being recorded, the act now becomes not just those two individuals in the film but the viewers are intertwind in it as well become 'one'. Its pervese and when you get the picture of what hes saying its absolutely repulsive. Imagine yourself pleassuring to that, but then imagine how you become not only one flesh with them but to everyone else who interacts with the video as well through time... Yup, its horrible to even imagine.
I have been addicted too, its been a hard fight. Been porn free for about probably 3 months. Before that been fighting it and had slip but its been 3 months of 0 porn. Thank God and our Blessed Virging mother. I pray everyday and this has strengthen me a lot. I know the fight isnt easy but Ill pray for this young man! Youre 18 dude be a better man! Am 31... you dont want to keep being addicted, fight it you will prevail!
As much as I appreciate social media, it exposed a lot of us to things we should not have seen too young. Addiction is such a struggle. I would suggest apps to block porn and accountability partners that will walk with you. You can do this!
It's cruel and wrong that the internet gave and allowed access to free porn for so many, it should have been banned
Proud of this guy for recognizing his problem at such a young age. Good on him he'll be better off without it
Borrow a laptop from the school library? 😂
I’ve been there done that. It didn’t help. I remembered I was so addicted at one point that I watched “prom” even on a borrowed laptop from the college library. You need a change of heart to really change your ways that’s just what I’ve realized for myself. Don’t ever give up. You can do it and even if you fall countless times, don’t lose hope just keep trying to do better. I think it’s a cycle that people can’t break out of and eventually they just give in and give up. If you really will want it you got it
It’s your life. Surprised he wants to change at such a young age. That’s interesting to me. What a mature 18 years old.
Even porn stars have said on interviews that the free porn world is dangerous and minors can easily get access to it
Porn has ruined society… 😕
And so many relationships
Yes it's sick. I'm 20 and have recovered from this addiction for a month now. This is so I don't destroy my relationship.
I haven’t watched it once in 10 months the longest I’ve gone in 15 years so I’ve been proud of that. My what happened was I injured my knee for a second time and I just thought wow life sucks I’ve got to start living better and my biggest sin and Vice was porn so I said never again . I don’t feel so different and better like I had hoped but I’ve come too far down this road to give up and go back
Yes, good for you! God bless you. 🙏 Now, you either need to work on finding a good wife, or if you're already married, having more fun with your wife, loving her more. She should have complete access to all your devices, and vice versa. When I get sexual thoughts, I journal about them in the context of marriage. I simply fantasize of doing that thing with my wife. But it doesn't always work. I'm not married yet but I'm doing my best to prepare for marriage, and a big part of that is quitting porn, which I haven't quite done yet at 25, starting at 11. But I just know that I'm gonna have so much fun with my wife, I won't ever want to watch anything or anyone else because cheating on her would be the last thing I'd want to do.
I’m afraid this is my daughter. She is in counseling and I have to remove all electronics every night. I can’t keep up or monitor 24/7. I’m so exhausted 😢
I’m proud of u brother
Praying for you dude ! 🙏
Wow... I bet there are alot of young men in this predicament. Addiction is a monster
Yea, the easy access to porn should be eliminated and should be an 18+ thing but kids who are 8 and above can easily have access to it and then it becomes a problem. The addiction slowly starts to spiral out of control. It seems like at least once in your adolescent years have you been exposed to porn, especially guys. Jacob is def brave enough to admit the truth so I applaud him for that.
I'm glad doctor deloney it is not acting judgmental.
My ex chose porn over our relationahip and his marriage with me for 20 years and i chose to undermine my own boyndaries and values by staying thinking i could fix him. I violated his boundaries too by thinking I could help him. Eventually I had to leave. He refused to actually show he cared.
Im 60..and am a porn nut...so so so many people are doing the same thing, back when i was a kid you could only see porn from buying or renting tapes..its so easy today..right on yoir phone Google anything ,believe me your not alone
I have a son who is 8 . I’m so worried about him getting into this at age 12 or 13. As a mother I know the importance of communication but still how do you control this? We still have few years ahead but I’m already worried.
I would talk to him soon. My daughter is homeschooled and was still exposed at the age of 7 by kids in the neighborhood... all it takes is some kid with internet access.
Wish him the best of luck on his recovery.🦋
Your profile pic definitely doesn't help! 🤣
@@charlesbell5500 neither does yours!😹
@@charlesbell5500her pic is a tigger.
Your brain needs an MD. This is not just "mental". God be with you!
...porn isn't the issue...it's loneliness, it's angst, it's self hate, it's self loathing...
Nope, its a pleasure and dopamine strike.
It’s both
@@seawatch3944Not just that. It's also escapism from problems and boredom.
You Ain't nothin... without cheap yum yum hits...
Nothingness... Is a key player...
You got this, man!
This is why I sort of hate porn and how porn actors don’t realize how much they damage the society.
My bf has an addition but refuses to get help for it as he has an issue that he can’t get it up.
When I was a kid I did not have a laptop, so I did not have access plus I did so much stuff outside of home that I was too busy to go look for porn.
Your bf has PIED, Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction. It's a real thing, but it can be healed over time.
Since 12 years old i started watching this horrible addiction... Im 27 years old now with the years it started to be more horrible and it is really difficult to fight it. Already two weeks im clean and stopped watching but i have the fear that i will lost the fight because it is really hard there are days that it doesnt matter what i am doing all and only in my head is how im opening the browser and start watching this horrible addiction. There were days even at work i cant focus on my work because only in my head is porn...
I wonder if Adult and Teen Challenge would be a good fit for him. Also, a good person to follow is Joshua Broome.
Love the chrome book slander 😂
It may be due to obsessive thoughts on sex. Changing these thoughts can help you overcome it
Porn is a nightmare. There is no place for it.
Yes
This started bad enough (any addiction is horrible) and got pretty dark pretty quickly
Also sad fact. Fellas. Not all of us are gonna be fortunate to find love or a woman. Not all of us were meant to procreate. And that’s ok. Find purpose outside of women who knows when you do that maybe one will come your way
Are there other Men like you and me going through this same situation John.
Someone said - You will never see him again.
It's sad to see, especially in the comments, that discussion of what is problematic about this is from such a narrow viewpoint, with no apparent empathy for the people on screen who we should remember are also human beings.
Surely it's should be mentioned that Pornography use is knowingly fueling an industry that is directly responsible for sex trafficking and abuse.
The real victims here are not the men with self induced erectile dysfunction. These are real human women being abused and degraded on screen. They're not simply objects for your entertainment.
The most important thing is to take responsibility for your actions. If you refuse to accept that is the ONLY answer, you wont stop anything. No one is forcing you to watch porn.
Guys read between the lines. He's watching child porn . That's why John says he's on his way to JAIL and that's why he threw away the laptop. John realizes this about half way through. Edit: I actually watched again and it's even more obvious than I thought . John talk about him finding " a dark part of the world " come on people
How did you come up to this conclusion
I didn’t get that.
You're reading into something that isnt there
@@CCC9437 watch it again . People don't go to jail for watching pornhub . John tells him he's on the path to jail. John uses the phrase "gnarly stuff" but that's what he's talking about . Also says he's investigated "these things" in other cases . Just listen with it in mind and you will hear it . He's trying to talk to him without calling him out
@@lavenderkisses9461 I'm not surprised
That went from zero to 100 real quick
This might sound strange but try going inside a church when there’s no service.🙏good luck I’ll pray for you. You are young and I have young sons. I spoke to them about these things and told them that once they watch this stuff it will never leave their mind and it changes their brain. You can do it and rewrite your brain. Good luck
A lot of serial killers seem to have addictions lies this. Hope you get some help man, really. It’s ok to have a gentle heart
Ted Bundy warned about porn a log time ago
Isn't a porn addiction expensive? I have no idea.
I'm female, never married, age 73. I have 2 brothers are addicted, nephew & 2 nieces? I could see 50 yrs ago - what a terrible rabbit hole porn was - so I have avoided it like a plague my whole life.
I just heard of European web cam porn here - this video. How much does all this cost an addict????
How can 10 yr old boys buy porn???? Please talk about the financial costs of porn. It's gotta be worst than alcohol & drugs.
Add porn, alcohol & drugs to weekly expenses😵.
Thank you, John!
So tragic 😞
If every porn addict and betrayed wife all independently calls their rep and demands an outlaw of this crap. If everyone put the presure on they would do something.
I hate to add another thing on parents but parents do not take this kind of thing seriously
How often does he use it a day?
One way I found to keep the ability to have a computer and resist using it was to just buy a really nice computer that you really like and tell myself no way am I going to wreck this computer with porn or viruses or garbage like that . Now having other computers that were cheaper was bad
12:53 really made me think alot about owning accountability.
Why didn’t you tell him to see a CSAT?? That is the only therapist that will work.
This guy would be the perfect victim for that predator Jody Hildabrant
Only Jesus can break a porn addiction. For real. It’s one of the devils favourite tools
How did he pay for it at 12?
Men if your porn is making your wife jealous that is gold. Period. Trust me I know what Im talking about. Her level of attraction will only remain high for you when she is jealous. I don't know why its that way but it is that way.
Also!! I csnt imagine how much he spends on that stuff. The Webcam/Only fans girls maie you pay before they give out everything.
He has to make friends
You’re in college man, delete the crap and find a special lady!
Yup sounds about right
Is that a sick of it all record in the back?
go to adoration, to mass, fellowship...thats healing and grace
Shits no joke. Insurance should cover rehab.