Only for men, for women its always been piss easy bt now its INSAINLY easy, a woman is getting several hundred offers a day plus more in real life (as opposed to online) its almot criminal how easy it is for women, but for guys its the EXACT opposite, now if a woman stays single for a year we have to be better than half a million guys (literally) thgats just insanity, of course i cant be one of the top most famour rich dominating alhpa males or a top pick up artist ! so im fucked !
@@AchtungBaby77 That click means fk all nowadays, i clicked with a woman, but because i am so utterly hopless with women (i have autism) she dumped me and now this woman is talking to pick up artists who are good with women but has nothing in common with at all, and we had EVERYTHING in common, literally everything, she was the llove of my life, but that connection meant fuk all to her, she and all other women would much rather have a top pick up artist, money and power or the dominant abusive alpha male than a connection ! lol, your an idiot if you think that connection means anythingn to women !
I mean if the age gap is around 20+, then chances are ome person has mental problems in one form or the other....the question is how good are they hiding it and how strong your Freudian attraction to them is 🤢
Far and away, my most successful relationship was with my wife, who was 18 years older. We met doing 1940s swing dancing back in 1998.. She looked my age with a tiny waist women half her age would kill for. She was the kindest, sweetest, most emotionally stable, most amazing woman I've ever met. Our relationship lasted 20+ years. She passed away three years ago and I miss her beautiful face and kindness everyday.
I met my wife when I was 38 and she 21…neither of us were previously married and now in 2023 we have been together 16 years, married for 15 years and our son turns 14 this April and our daughter turns 12 in July. In our case age difference truly didn’t matter. I’m not a sugar daddy and she wasn’t a gold digger and our lives prove it.
It most likely seemed like a stretch back when y’all first met, but now she is your age back them and now you’re around 54, it doesn’t seem as bad. It may get interesting in her 40’s and that mid life start kicking in and the kids are grown. You will be in your 60’s and she will still feel like she can pull! Keep your eyes open👀
You are lucky, as she is. I am only 19 and can't say I actually have ¨dating experience¨, mostly because I am looking for a partner, as in long term relationship, and find it hard to meet people my age who are looking for that as well. I am not precisely looking for an older man, but if I happen to meet a good and smart man with goals and we connect with each other, regardless of age, then I will be very happy to become his partner if he wants me to. So I suppose I understand your wife there.
Hang in there brother! I wouldn’t change a thing! Quite frankly I find people are jealous of people like me and you because it’s not happening to them! Too bad so sad! Cheers 🍻
@@F1uffy_f3rN There is nothing eww about this, she is old enough to know what she wants and she wants him. Saying eww about people you know nothing about says a lot about your maturity. Maybe watch some more of Courtney's video's to grow up.
Marriage counselors have observed in age gap relationships the ones that fail are the ones when one or both partners were specifically looking for an age gap relationship. The ones that succeed are the ones that just spontaneously happen.
I think also it generally is a bad idea to date women who are between 18-21 unless you grew up with them, regardless of whether you're 25, 45 or even 19, unless you really are just looking for a one night stand. The reason I say this is that people at that age are changing so rapidly that, in a sense, you may not even really get to know the real person. The only reason it works if you grew up with them is you may be enough in tune with them to change with them, and you can also cherish your memories from early life.
Just a note. My wife and I were in a 40 year relationship. (I lost her to cancer 3.5 years ago). She was 10 years older than me. (Almost to the day.) Never once did the age difference bother me and it never bothered her also. We had great times and there were times where we had to work at it. She was the love of my life and my soul mate. I feel that age is just a number if you “click”., you click. The best years of my life were with her and I miss that. I am just now coming out of the heavy cloud of grief, not sure if I will ever be completely out, and my heart is beginning to open back up. I still say age is just a number, it’s life experience that makes the difference. She taught me life skills and I taught her life skills. We melded together beautifully. Thanks for allowing me to express myself on this subject.
Sorry for your loss Man. She sounds like she was a great Gal. Maybe there's another one (or two) in your future? Take it slow and have some fun when you are able. You've earned it.
My heart goes out to you for your loss, Russ. But I'm pleased that you had so many happy years with your wife, and that is what counts. Thank you for saying all of this.
Beautifully conveyed Russ. Thank you. In full concurrence. Love is blind as long as we vibe, we vibe. So many factors involved in whether a relationship will work, and it's never just about age differences though generally this plays a part. Courtney's spot on. Your wife would have wanted you to live your life forward, as happily as you could. May you find peace and calm knowing she's still with you, in spirit and living memory. God bless her and you. Warmest wishes, Sir.
Im so very sorry for your loss, What you have/ had with your wife ❤️ , most people will never experience for one day ❤️ god bless ( I’m married , husband , kids , we have a home and careers. I’m giving thanks 🙏🏼)
Nail on the head, Courtney. The best predictor of relationship longevity and success is having aligned values, beliefs, and goals, no matter the age difference.
I am in love with a man who is nearly 20 younger than me. He has told me he loves me and I have told him I feel the same. When we first met there was a connection that I had never felt before and we do have the same goals values etc and so much in common. We are both older individuals so we don’t have the issues some younger people have with having a family etc. Fortunately I have always looked quite a bit younger than my chronological age so that helps.
Sorry that is UTTER BS, i met the love of my life, we connected well on everything, had all the same beliefs which is pretty unusuall but she dumped me like a hot brick when i told her i was a virgin, i think she ncorectly thought i dont like womens bodys, when the real reason is its because i couldnt get a woman, now she left me she will almost certainly be sleeping with top pick up artists or dominant abusive lalpha males or rich powerful men, i know for a fact one of the players she is texting and flirting with has NOTHING in common with her at all, its incredibly painful to know that some dirty bsrd who happens to be good with women will know her better than the person who was right for me ! the best predictor of getting a gf is how good you are at pick up how dominant ab usive and alpha you are and of course money and power ! forget about connections, if you dont know anything about women your fucked !
@@margaretcampbell2681 Same, i cconneted with this woman like i never have before she would have been the love of my life but i am hopless with women so she dumped me, now she is messaging a top pick up artist who she has NOTHING to do with so no, the guy you " connected" with is just a good pick up artist, he has read and understood a book by an expert with women using pre determined tactics to mimick a connection, top pick up gys do it all the time, one said every woman he sleeps with says you where tythe perfect guy, the "one" ! also i am over 40 too so your definatly not safe in older years ! congrats your dating a pick up artist !
That is true. But woman biological and mentally mature much faster than men , and I truly feel from my experience an older man has been aligned in maturity with me . Dating men my own age has been frustrating
Watching so many relationships succeed and fail, I think that what matters in a relationship is if the person you're with genuinely makes you happy, shares your values, makes your life better, and complements any differences or similarities you may have.
I agree. So many people get stuck in the idea of the ideal height, age, and etc… But being with the partner who can get old and grow up together is what matters imo
I was in a relationship with a 33yr age gap, and we were the happiest couple when we were together. Unfortunately she started listening to people telling her that it wasn't right, that she needed to date guys her age and she broke it up with me. Now she is unhappy in her new relationship and I'm going thru the toughest healing process of my life
you should know to stay away from a relationship like that before you get in too deep. That type of gap can work if you are in your lower 30s with someone 60s, but really, what are you looking for in a relationship? after 60, your body begins breaking down and you probably won't make it past 90 when the other person will only be in their 60s. Then, its harder for them to remarry at that age.
@@dnsgilbert09 Lol your comment is a contradiction in itself. You said if they marry, it's harder for him to find someone, but obviously not if his wife found someone that age at hers lol. His own wife would prove it's not impossible by the fact she married him.
It all depends on context. When I was 21, I dated a gal who was 27. While I found her attractive for me, she ingratiated me with her sense of life experience. I never could connect romantically with women my own age. Which is why at 35 today, I've dated much younger. I've gotta wonder if it's because I grew up with an emotionally unavailable mother, whereas on the contrary, my dad was and still is very available. When discussing men's issues, you often hear talk about absent fathers and almost nothing about absent mothers.
A couple we know have a 12 yr. age difference. She was 34 and he was 22 when they married; now married 37 yrs. Both say they had lots of growing up to do, but they worked hard and it got done. They are closer and more in love now than ever.
@@rdor011 I don't know if anyone cares, but the woman is branded a cougar. Not nearly as sexy as an older man and a young woman. Anyway, who cares, as long as they make it work, right/
I just met a woman and shes 41, and im 28 and wow… Shes amazing. Never thought id like an older woman but her confidence and her loving herself/knowing what she wants is a huge attraction. Our chemistry is deep too, it’s opened my eyes that age is really a number at a point.
I've always felt comfortable with about a 7 or 8 year age difference. The reason is that you're about the same generation which gives you similar things that you can both relate to. Nothing worse than talking to someone and them telling you that they read about it in a history book. I guess I should point out that I'm over 70 years.
Also age at the time of marriage. I'm 38 y/o dating someone 8 years younger than me. After age 30 everyone views everyone as fair game, tbh. Anything before that and the stipulation becomes an arguing point.
@Withtherackzugetslapped let me ask you this. Would you want her being with a man around her age that is going to be abusive to her or would you rather have her be with an older man who can treat her right? You really need to be open minded because you don't know if one is going to be ruined all because of an age difference. Take a look in Hollywood there are tens of thousands of celebrities married with huge age gaps and they both work together to make both comfortable. If you still can't be accepting that, then you are closed minded.
1. Age gap relationships certainly *can* work, it's just important to realize that you will each be more likely to be at different points in life, the greater the gap, and you will have fewer shared cultural experiences. Beyond that, things are negotiable, but biology does impose certain limitations, so if you want to have children, you definitely have to consider age differences carefully.
In that part of my own relationship of 22 years age dif and the possibility of kids...been together for many years already. So it is a topic of discussion.
As someone who has constantly been with older men, I can say that the relationships could work out. The love could most definitely be there but it is about plans in life and communicating them. My last relationship was a 26 year difference and we weren't bad together. We loved having each others company and supported each others goals but support and commitment are not the same thing.
It's amazing how differently people age in terms of health. For older men like myself, I'm always shocked at the differences in how my peers age. Even thinking about wanting kids or a spouse, your health level dominates the conversation. If you and your partner don't both take care of your health after you get married... Watch out. A lot of divorces and marriage struggles revolve around having very different health habits.
Thank you for consistently being so non-judgmental. In a world where people can be so harsh, it's refreshing. As someone often attracted to women several years older (or occasionally more than several) I appreciate your kind words and open mindedness.
Yes, at the beginning. But when years go by, after, 10, 20, 30 years together, it may happen that each is evolving in a different direction, and that the chemistry is not working anymore. It can be hard to figure out if you've not experienced it personally (I'm 58 now, after 15 years of marriage) ...
@@dupontfra that can happen to couples same age. Wouldn't it be better for a couple to be happy together for 30 years even it there was 20 years age difference than couple both same age only being together for 5 years?
@@dupontfra Yes, that's what usually happens. You grow together, then you grow apart. Does that render the 10, 20, 30 years together meaningless? No. Accept it and separate in friendship. Be richer for it, move on, rebuild.
Wonderful topic Courtney! The individuals in my life have had incredible relationships with diversity in age from my parents in which my mom was 15 years younger ( my dad has now passed), family friends that have a 25 year age gap ( the husband being the younger of the two), as well as friends with the usual 2-5 year age gap. All have had beautiful marriages with the commonality of respect, loyalty, gratitude, joy and lots of love.
An extremely interesting and balanced approach to the topic. I’m 55 with a high energy level, super active, and very driven. I play bass and love all genres of music. Needless to say it’s very difficult for me to be attracted to someone my age as they usually are not compatible with me from quite a few fronts. Most of the time even a 10 year age gap is not enough. Where I start seeing compatibility is about a 13 year gap or more so I’m in a bit of a pickle, but hey still doing my thing. Enjoying life, business, health and travel. We’ll see what happens, thanks for the interesting viewpoints
My wife is 8 years older than me. When she found out how old I was, she literally kicked me out of her apartment and ended the dating. We had only dated 3 times. We were only apart for a few weeks. We have been married 26 yrs together 27 yrs now. She is my best friend and always will be till she dies.
I’m 75. She’s 54. We have had fantastic 14 year long marriage. However, we face the reality that I’ll probably die in the next 5-10 years. We are planning accordingly. My point is that unique adjustments are necessary to maintain a viable relationship. It depends how much you agree on what you want and badly you are willing to adapt.
Love your content. It’s always so balanced and interesting. I’m in an age gap relationship with 16 years between me and my partner with me being the younger partner. I was 30 when we got together so not young and naive. It’s honestly been the most connected relationship I’ve ever had. Communication is the big difference, and we just click. Similar values and interests. I’m lucky my partner wants to start a family and hasn’t yet so we will be going through that milestone together. Yes - I do think about the future and the fact that health issues may arise later down the track, and that I may end up alone. But in the end having the time you are given with a person you absolutely love and adore is better than many many years with someone who isn’t right for you.
I’ve never really thought too much of age and more about how attracted I am to that particular person, and our compatibility. When I was 29 I was dating a 44 year old, now I’m 45 dating at 22 year old. I was very happy then, and very happy today. Most of my long term relationships were with woman within a 3 year age gap.
I feel like the older I get, the age doesn't matter as much as where each other is in life. Having a common ground and realistic expectations is important.
True, if it’s someone who’s barely legal maybe an issue and can’t do much and don’t have a lot of things in common of life versus if your 30 or late 20s at the least.
@@CinimodNorton Gen X doesn't exactly come off as stronger than the others... Older people generally seem stronger than younger people, simply because they have lived longer and experienced more. BTW, Jennifer Anniston is 53 and I think she is hot 🔥. This is coming from a 35yo.
I married a 35 year old woman when I was 60. That was 15 years ago and we have a 12 year old son. We have a wonderful relationship and it keeps getting better and better. I'm in excellent health and I try to keep myself in good shape for both my wife and my son.
This is reassuring as I'm 40yo and would like to have kids. I'm improving myself, exercising and taking better care of myself than I ever have in the past. I believe I'm more likely to find higher quality women now, since my life is on track and my confidence levels are up.
Me and my husband are just getting started on our family. I'm 24 and he's about to be 44, but we have both always wanted to be parents so we're going for it! Your story is encouraging! Thank you for sharing!
It's great to hear success stories like this, could you please share your experiences being a 75 year old father with a 12 year old son? For me personally, I'm not sure I'd want to have kids starting high school when I'm mid 70s.
@@AchtungBaby77 It's not for everyone. I love kids and I sincerely believe it helps keep me young. I also have an older son who loves his little half brother and does activities with him like skiing which I no longer do.
Really like how Courtney is becoming more evidence based in her analysis. Not that I didn't believe her before, but it's just extra reassurance when claims can be justified. Excellent video
Once you've both reached a certain level of maturity (rather than age), you can work through any generational difference. It's the life phases and expectations (like children) that can steer you towards the rocks.
Trust that once you hit 60 she will for sure cheat on you, if you even last that long that is. Got to get it while it's tight I understand but good luck.
I met my wife at a party when she was 16 and I was 26 and she was always flirting with me which I found annoying as I was obviously not interested. Despite everything we had a lot in common and we spent a lot of time together gaming online and talking in general, but even though we had a good connection, I wasn't looking for a girlfriend and I liked being just friends. However, we started to hang out more and two years later, she was now 18 and I was 28, we kissed for the first time and it was from that moment we actually started dating. We got married 5 years later. She's now 39 and I'm 49 and we are happily married for 16 years now with 4 beautiful children.
In my opinion, people need to stop worrying about others’ relationship preferences (as long as the relationship in question is legal) and start worrying more about why they care so much 😆
@@adammitry6011 just cuz they were age of consent doesn't mean the relationship wasn't predatory I mean adults can be sexually abused too and young people may not even realize that til it's too late and it happens but I suppose it can happen at any age the real question we ought to be asking is why are they wanting someone freshly out of high school
It really depends, for much larger age gaps say 20-25 years when the man is older sounds predatorial and manipulative so the man takes the heat. Whereas if the woman is that many years older, it wouldn't sound as predatorial. However for 10 year age gaps, it's the other way around. In conservative cultures 5+ year differences are judged either way, but the man being 2-4 years older is completely normal, whereas the woman being merely a few months older than the guy is frowned upon.
@@ahlinad1221 When a woman is that much older ofc she is predatorial. And it's never predatorial if she is of age. Usually it's actually the younger women who are the predators...
@@ahlinad1221 You just speak about your parents and YOUR wishes, but that's not related to how it should be, nor what's healthy. Mature parents are important. Too many people get kids too early in life and mess it up.
I'm 28 and my preference is right around 25-28 range when they've had a little experience in life. 18-23 year olds are way too immature and don't have the slightest clue what they want when it comes to dating and also come with a high maintenance attitude as well as a huge list of unrealistic demands. 30+ years olds I've encountered are too damaged from previous relationships, don't take care of themselves, too set in their ways, career driven rather than wanting a family, or have some sort of resentment towards men in general.
You can date 23 years Old because the age gap is Only 5 years apart 23 and 28 years Old are both Young couple because you're in the same generation unlike 23 years dating a 35 38 years Old That's More weird I'm 26 years old my preference is 20-23 I prefer 3 to 6 years gap which is the normal age gap I mean I'm not Old Man I'm not 40 so I can date women who's 20 years Old she's only 6 years Younger than me it's more weird if she's dating a Guy who's much Older than me I'm from Romania here in Romania it's normal
Certainly true about the 30 plus crowd of women. Any woman should be told career or family, you gotta pick one at some point before you’re 30, and keep in mind it’s gonna take a few years at least to find someone to build a family with. I think there are some mature younger women, they’re just super rare.
It is context sensitive on many attributes. A 41 year old can have the happiest most real relationship with an 18 year old as I know someone, and their intentions and happiness outweigh any other relationship I've ever seen. He looks only about 25 tops though and is really healthy and she is very mature acts like a 30 year old and looks bout 22 When they walk holding hands, nobody would even think there's much of an age gap. He's English she's Fillipino, and the only people who judge, are mostly jealous folk who can't find what they have together. :) I don't think they would have initiated if he looked older or she acted immature, but in that case the balance was absolutely perfect and they fell in love with each other fast, shared no end to familiarities, and spend all day expressing how important they are to each other. If I had first heard 41 and 18 if just assume the guys some fat old chap with 💰 but seeing this love has made me totally rethink age gap relationships and there are very sweet good people in the world still.
My girlfriend and I have a 32 years age gap. She’s older. We’ve been together 11 wonderful years and I couldn’t be happier. Of course, we had our challenges with society throughout the years… people thought she was in it for the sex, or I’m with her for the money and blah blah. We both work for ourselves and built a wonderful life together. We stopped caring why others thought because what’s most important is Being happy with your partner. Being a team and having a wonderful connection is what’s helping us in our journey. I love her so much.
I'm 51, 6'03", look like I'm in my late thirties (not my words), good income, and freshly divorced. According to this formula I'm going to buy a motorcycle and puppy and watch the dating world from a distance while I sip on a cold beer from my hammock. Great channel Courtney. Congrats on the growth this last year and keep up the great work.
You’re misunderstanding my post. I’m wanting loyalty, sincerity, and predictable fun……….hence the dog and motorcycle. As a recent escapee of a marriage, I’m not trying to attract chaos back to my life. Living with a happy smile on my face will probably attract more than enough women to mostly avoid………..and I’ll VERY carefully screen them before risking a disruption to my drama-free happiness. I’m not a hater, just survivor who’s MUCH wiser.
I'm 42, she's 21. We've been happily together for over a year now. It was never about age, but rather our chemistry and compatibility are outstanding. There's always going to be outside judgment, but it doesn't bother us.
Good for you! I married my wife when she was 21 and I was 35, we've been together 29 years and we have two great sons. At the time I was looking for someone much younger, and I found her in the Philippines. I make no apologies for our age gap and never did. Now all these years later it all seems so academic. I only watched the beginning of this video because I can't stand when people make up stupid arbitrary rules about things like age gaps. To me, "half your age plus seven" sounds like someone's attempt to box people in and create an artificial social standard. I also hate when people get psychoanalytical. I'm a libertarian at heart... run your own race and do what makes *you* happy.
My parents had an age difference of 1 year and divorced after 3 years together, then they remarried with someone with a 10 year age difference and have both been happily remarried for 20+ years now
People usually marry close-in-age for first marriage, but when people remarry, the age gap almost always grows a lot. With people that marry 3, 4 times gap just keeps growing wider
@@josecarlosxyz Or you just dont like that they found other people they matched better with and had a long lasting relationship with? Clearly you are agist.
Hey Courtney. I highly praise this video. It was very smart, informative, non judgmental, and unbiased. Many journalist can learn from you. You earned a new subscriber. Keep up the good work.
I was married for 18 yrs to a girl 20yrs younger than myself. We talked about the age difference in our relationship prior to getting married...and she told me most marriages the people are pretty close in age....yet that overwhelming number of people still got a divorce. I think it is life itself has changed so much and people can want to break away eventually for greener pastures.
If we vibe, we vibe. Whether that vibe lasts through the years and decades, is another matter - many factors. But age is not really a factor when love and attraction are just blind. Courtney is spot on with another great video. I'm skeptical of data analysis, though it's nice to have; what matters is how you feel when with your partner, and whether the relationship is complementary, regardless of age, where the focus should be on bringing out the best in one another mutually in a balanced give and take relationship. As I age, I am learning to listen more, say a little less (but no less to speak when needed and necessary), and to give room for differences in ideas and views without arguing. Self-reflection is key to adjusting oneself to be better than yesterday - it's a sign of maturity. I wish to be in a relationship to give a little more, even alot more, without holding back, to have loved fully, than be calculative about how much I receive - with the hope she does the same for me. It's why communication, compromise and the touching of love languages are foundations for all relationships. Lady luck is part of our personal fortune to meet someone complementary. The challenge is, we tend to take things for granted when in a long term relationship and we do not treasure what we do have. Be grateful for the good in your partner, and if you get 75, 80% of what makes you happy being in the relationship, there's just an ease and calm and a settled feeling when together, it's really a blessing - then compromise with give and take on the balance 20%. There ain't no perfect fairytale relationship. So don't expect one, and we'll not be disappointed.
Hey, I just wanted to thank you for all the great advice you've been giving us! I've been out of the dating scene for a while, I don't have a girlfriend, and I haven't restarted the dating process yet, but your insight has been helping me to take the steps to get there, so thanks for the guidance and encouragement!
@@CourtneyRyan My only tiny misgiving in this vid is implied notion that what strangers think about you matters. It shouldn't matter (yes you mentioned it but should be emphasized maybe), I know it can be very difficult to overcome our tribal instincts but ZERO F's Given to what random fools think is liberating and a major component of self confidence, etc. Likewise we all need to temper our dumb judgments of others.
Awesome video I am 62 and my girl is 21 and her and I are really good together we’ve had both the gold digger and the pervert, talk extensively and neither one of us represent that whatsoever. We just super enjoy each other’s company. She loves me for my life experience and I love her for her naivety and things I can show her in the world as she grows, by the time we fall out of love, I’ll already be dead do the best you can for finding the partner that is best suited for you and that’s all one can hope for… btw she was 18 when we met, i ask her why she want to date someone my age and she had an extensive list that made sense to me and she had obviously thought this through just so everyone knows
@MarkRobins I'm a 64 year old widower, and I've been talking to a 20 year old woman for the last couple of months. You give me some hope. 😊 Though I think it's unlikely to go anywhere.
I'm 28 and currently dating a woman who's 34 and I have to say this is the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. She's so patient and easy to communicate with. She makes it a point to create a very safe environment whenever a difficult conversation needs to be had.
My experience too. Older women i found are way less complicated. The older ones know what guys want and have the maturity and experience to make it work .
I was in the exact same boat, dont make her dreams yours, which is probably having babies rn. Live your life. Just trying to share my experience and help in anyways, she might be different but dont be offended wit what i am telling you. I like responsible people and my ex was another baby who wanted to have a baby. Guess who would have to be a daddy to both😅, like literally
My wife is 12 years older. I’ll be 33 in October and she is 44 now. We have been together since 2011, engaged in 2014, married in 2016 and still going strong. 10 years together on the 14th of this month
I've date older women and their expectation in a relationship is higher than a woman my age or a bit younger. If a man dates a woman too young sometimes she doesn't know what she wants in a relationship. It has it's pros and cons
When I was a teen in the 1990s older women came onto me and seemed easy & fun compared to the belligerent girls in school. Now I notice women 30+ definitely have too many "expectations" of Men in relationships whilst giving significantly less. I truly believe the _"best"_ women of today would be laughed at as worthless 304s by average women in pre-feminist times.
When it comes down to a long-term relationship, I've always believed age is just a number if you and your own girlfriend/boyfriend love each other very much because love is one important thing that has to be continued in marriage (commitment to support each other no matter what happens in life)
Very true. I’ve been in a 20 year age difference lasting almost 10 years. I think two hippie, off grid, DIY, artsy, farmy types would generally work well with a big age gap. But if the older guy is leaving his corporate job while the younger woman is starting a similar career, it will be problematic to a greater or lesser extent. Ultimately it’s down to how much two people truly LOVE each other. Without love, no relationship will last satisfactorily. It will be more like a convenient codependence otherwise.
That's an interesting view point .. I live off grid and have obviously built my own cabin .. My friend is 30 years younger and she is the one who instigated the friendship.. I also have another woman 30 years younger who is interested and she also instigated the friendship Luckily I don't sleep around but after dating 10 women I decided they are the 2 I like having in my zone .. . I am 51 btw so do the math 😄
Courtney, when I was 29 I met a girl that was 21 were under the same zodiac sign. we were married for 43 wonderful years with no big problems and raised one daughter together. Until she was diagnosed with cancer, the love of my life passed away 6 yrs ago. So age gap marriages do work.
I think compatibility is the key and not age differences. Do you have the same goals, beliefs, and life style? These will reduce the times when you are struggling as a couple. It was my first and only marriage while she was on her second. We had the normal periods of strife but when we concentrated on the things that matter, we were able to come out better for it. I lost her to medical problems but still we had 38 years together. I consider those years the best years of my life and where I matured the most.
my wife and I are 22 years apart...she is 21 and I am 43. we have no delusions about the difficulties that come with the gap but I think our willingness to brave those differences is our strength.
There is 31 years between my partner and me, and we have been together almost 14 years, as you say there are problems but nothing that can't be solved.
I find this women so grounded and sensible ; not trying to impress everyone it’s so refreshing as for me I was married to a woman 2 years younger than me for 23years . First 10 years were good ; last 13 pretty awful ; only stuck together for the kids Since then I’ve dated many women age gaps have been 10 years plus younger . My last girlfriend was nearly 20 years younger; we didn’t break up because of age ; it was emotional incompatibility and other lifestyle factors ; but we still see each other casually which is good . I have another lady who’s 30 years plus younger , and one who’s 5 years younger. Bottom line it’s totally about the connection with that women , not the age ; it’s ridiculous the judgement I get because I date younger women by friends and family. Societal norms around this issue are archaic, younger women like older men for their resources and this isn’t just money ; it’s life experience; confidence and how they treat a woman; women have told me they like being around me as I give them confidence and treat them well ; generally guys of their own age don’t know how to do this ; I know I didn’t as a young guy Also women generally will not stay with a guy who doesn’t satisfy them sexually; this is so important but it’s rarely discussed by women as they don’t want to hurt the guys ego ; older guys are much more competent in the bedroom as a rule
I feel like one of the hardest parts with age gap relationships is depending on the range, the older is willing to throw "experience" into any conversation and treat the younger like they don't know anything. I deal with it all the time because I'm a 22 year old female who wants a stable family and relationship, but people keep telling me to learn myself more which I've been doing more than I get credit for.
Let no man despise thy youth (1 Timothy 4:12) :D All jokes aside, this has been a motto of mine. I get weird looks when I say I’m working towards a family at age 23, just haven’t found the right guy yet. It’s all about perspective, attitude and goals, rather than what’s common for your age.
As a 42-year old who recently went back to college and sat in a classroom with a bunch of people half my age, my take on the "experience" line is that it's less a question of "more" experience and more a question of *different* experience leading to cultural differences. Differences with a lot of potential for friction. I mean think about it for a moment: a lot of the technology that was the most outlandish science-fiction in my childhood were ubiquitous things that a lot of people took for granted during yours. And add to that very different social, economic, and political circumstances during our formative years.
My husband was 11 years older than me and we were together for 22 years. He was born in 1970 and I was born in 1981. We started dating when I was just 3 months shy of 19 and he had just turned 30. Sadly, he passed away very unexpectedly 7 months ago. Otherwise, we would still happily be married. We had so much chemistry and such a strong connection and bond that you never would have known there was over a decade between us in age. My parents are 9 years apart and have been married for almost 51 years. I'm now 41 and I have absolutely no problem being with a guy who is in his early to mid-50s, but I wouldn't go any older than that and I DEFINITELY would not go for someone younger than me.
As a 25 year old female dating a 19 year old male... Can I ask if you think that age gaps are okay the other way (genders reversed)? My guy and I are 6.5 years apart, let's call it 7. I am curious as to how your family and friends responded to a 19 year old dating a 30 year old? I get judged so harshly... Have lost friends over the issue. People think I am disgusting and taking advantage of a younger person who has not gone through the same life experiences that I have yet. I should mention that we met at work and coincidentally also attended the same post secondary institution, and he pursued me at first. I was extremely resistant for fear of taking away his youth/making him grow up faster than he was meant to, others judging me as predatory or emotionally stunted, etc. And those are real concerns. However we seem to match so well... Our values, personalities, life goals all align. He wants a family and doesn't mind starting young. He loves children. Anyway... What do you think? Am I blinded because I want it to work so badly? Is our relationship wrong because of the age gap? No matter how well we seem to fit, will it always be wrong? Imbalance of power and experience? Any thoughts you have are appreciated.
@@wgdetective7034 is not about the age. It's about what happens in the relationship. Close age gaps, large age gaps, both can be bad or good. You have to see by yourself what type of relationship you got. Good or bad. If it's good, then there is no reason for not being happy.
@@banagan4604 I'm just seeing your comment well over a year after I posted my original comment. Funny you said that as, for the past 15 months, I have been dating a guy almost 18 years older than me and we have the best relationship ever. :)
This is useful. I am an older single guy and currently all of the single women I have regular contact with are significantly younger and some of them are showing an interest in me. I genuinely care for the ladies in question and I am concerned about right and wrong in general. Most of the videos I've seen has been about how to attract younger women while I am concerned about the morality and ethics of doing so of pursuing the ones that are already showing signs of attraction.
35 ÷ 2 =17.5 17.5 + 7 = 24.5 Age does not matter, it's about the chemistry. My girlfriend is a few years older than me but age isn't a problem and she is a good person
There is a 25 year age gap between my wife and myself, me being older. And we have been married 14 years. We also have a 14 month old. Our birthdays are one day apart. I cared about her maturity level. She pursued me. I’m 63 and she is 38. Our one year old keeps up very active. But it’s a mindset and the willingness to be open about what someone has experienced and someone has not and meet in the middle.
She was in her late 30s, she was probably desperate to pop a kid. It's not very smart to reproduce from someone so old that he might not even see their kid graduate from college. She will be a lonesome widow in her 50s too. She will likely be alone for the 30+ years she has left, it's hard for women to date at that age
@@TuAmigoElMorrocoy well so far everything is working out as planned. Our baby is healthy and if I happen to pass before she graduates from college, they will have each. She will also have my family and my wife’s family to lean on if necessary. Also, I have set up an email for her that I send life lessons to, that she will be able to read when she gets older. All is good. When my father passed I went into a dark place. Her was my best friend. But I am hoping the letters to her email she will get to know all of me as her father.
@@mor.6860Awww. Just when I was abt to attack you 🤭… Sounds like you’ve got everything panned out. Keep up with your health because a 30 something year old woman might not see the seriousness of it yet. We start worrying in our 40’s… ❤
My parents are 25 years apart and stayed married for almost 35 years till dad passed. When they met mom was 35 and dad was 59. They had me the following year they met.
So sorry for your loss. How do you feel about the relatively brief time with your Dad? Did the high-quality time make up for the brevity? Were your friends at school accepting of your non-traditional parents?
@@4thisGoodDay Of course I would have wished dad had me earlier, but in exchange for time was his wisdom and experience. It made me more sensible and wiser than my peers. It lead me to make better life decisions, discipline and integrity. He also provided a very stable quality of living.There's always going to be people talking trash about age gaps no matter what, it comes with the turf. Just remember they don't pay your bills, have no investment in your life, and it's your time on this planet not theirs. Hope that helps :)
I was 40 my wife was 23, we had absolutely nothing in common other than our values and we like to be with one another. It’s now 30 years later, never had an argument and every day is like the first day. C❤D
Honestly there is so much variation with this. I know someone who has a 20yr age gap with her husband and they are so happy together. I've also seen the opposite be true. My fiance and I are only a year apart and our dynamic is fantastic! But that took some work for us to get to this point. Love comes at you in a plethora of ways, you just have to be open to it when it pops up.
I think you pretty much nailed it - love and relationships are complicated because people are complicated. A close family friend of mine married a girl of similar age when he was mid 30s, no children, divorced a few years later, then met a beautiful woman 10 years younger than him, got married, had a kid right away and they're both fantastic together and make a lovely family. You just don't know where life will take you sometimes.
I’m about to be 26 and my range has been +/- 5 years, much further and I encounter phase of life issues I’ve found. But even recently I went on a date with a 22 year old who was fresh out of college and while we had a good time, it felt like almost everything we tried to talk about and bond over just completely missed. Even just 3.5 years was a huge life experience difference, not necessarily on phase of life, but more so on the specifics of what we experienced. Tried to make small talk about movies and music but we had literally no overlap and I’d never heard any of the artists she’d mentioned but apparently many are current top artists? It’s interesting.
Now days you have choices. Either keep it simple and do prostitutes. Its a short term financial contract and in the long term is way cheaper than a relationship that thanks to feminism is bound to fail. OR , keep it even simpler and buy yourself one of those silicone sex dolls . PS . From a 54 years of experience !!!
I met an 18 year old two years who when I was travelling. I was 26 at the time. We messaged for a while and had a lot in common, she is probably one of the most nice and mature girls I have met. Unfortunately we live in different countries though so she ended up getting another boyfriend and now we don’t talk any longer. So I wouldn’t use your anecdote as evidence of someone’s maturity (or indeed mine). You can have very mature 18 year olds (albeit they are rare) and immature 30 year olds (these are much more common in todays society). It just seems like you guys didn’t have a lot in common, but that it wasn’t necessarily connected to your ages.
Yeah. I had exact same issue when I were 22-23 Years. Finished College at 18. It's really Rough Dating when you're the older one. 1.) Cause the pressure is Higher on ~ You (The Man/Guy) 2.) Some Women are ofc not Couger/Creepy. But.. a lot unfortunately are very uneducated let alone; Even have Common-Sense in ~ Dating From where I'm from '(Nordic-Nation)' *Prejudice + Hookup* Culture - is Everywhere since Early 2000s. So.. if your a Man trying to Date you've to Roll the Dice. Regardless. *Spoiler alert:* Age does matter ~ For both Genders
My wife is 10-years older! For the two of us, it was a perfect union. We got married older in-life. I was 31 (do the math). We chose not to have kids. We are still both active and in love.
This topic hit close to home ! I'm giving a ldr relationship witch she is 20 years younger then me . We video chat almost every day and plan to go on a vacation in the new year to spend time together for a couple of months ! Reading all the positive comments gives me courage and hope !
Friends of mine - a married couple - are nine years apart in age (he is older). They have a great relationship. In fact, they told me they were glad for the age difference. He was settled and had a good, established job as an airline pilot with seniority under his belt, and she was ready to settle down and be an at-home mom.
For traditional people (and possibly conservative people as well) of course you want a big age gap and a stay-at-home mom. But I don't want that and I know others don't as well.
@@josephstevens9888 I am a little biased though. I'm currently dating a woman 7 years younger than me. It's not that I was looking for someone that much younger than myself, but we just clicked from the day we met. We started dating two weeks after the fact, and it's been going well so far.
Love it, upvote. Age gap is a thing. I was married to a woman 9.5 years younger than me. So, I am in Gen X and she is an early Gen Y. The marriage didn't fail because of the age gap. The marriage failed because of communication issues and the fact is, I truly left her in the dust (EQ wise) once I started getting my ADHD treated and counseling. It was like a drag race where one vehicle is just far quicker (A Porsche 911 vs a Geo Metro). And the more I grappled with my emotions, the more she tried to exert an unfair level of "her agency" unto the relationship. When that slipped out of her hands, rather than deal on a mature level, she tried to hold onto whatever agency she had left and threatened constantly about divorce.....so, what do you do? Even saying this, 2 years after divorce, and it still hurts like a motherfu..... As for age gap, yeah, I wouldn't date anybody under 30. I am 46, and I have nothing in common with somebody 20 years younger than me. I have also found, that as I age, I am really finding things about mature women in my age group, slightly older, slightly younger. Things I really respect and that are attractive to me. Such as high EQ, high compassion, world experience and likeability. Remember the old rule of dating? Divide your age in half and add 7 years, yeah, it is good guide. But being perceptive and listening to what others are saying is important. Don' be ageist either. If I am contacting somebody that is 10 years younger than me, and being polite, on a dating app, that isn't creepy. I think too many women are far too stuck in this idea that older=bad. Men as well. In fact, I shouldn't have to feel like a creep for just wanting to meet people in the age group I spoke of. If we are talking too young, or even under 18, yeah, that is a no no! It just pisses me off that somebody in their late 30's is so ignorant as to think a mid-40's guy is too old. It would be equally insulting if I said the same thing to a 55 year old woman, insulting to her. If you like somebody, and are being realistic about it, and they are not under age (DON'T EVER GO THERE), go for it!
It would be interesting to know how/if those divorce statistics per age gap might change depending upon what age the younger partner is at the time of the marriage. For example mid 20’s vs mid 40s. Thank you for your great content!
Agree. I was what would be called a bad boy. Had my fill by late 20s, I purposely chose a less experienced woman because I had to many bad relationships with woman who were party girls and had as many or more notches as me. I was 27,she was 19. 15years and 4kids. I got lucky and love her more each and everyday.
I'm 32 & have just met a woman in her late 40s at a local singles night. She has the same ideals, relationship goals, no baggage & is great for her age. No regrets. I was straight in there!
My partner is 23 years younger than me (67 vs 44). She is Asian, and we get along well. Her friends are very envious of her, and how well I treat her, and constantly ask if I have friends to introduce them to. We are both fit and healthy and have no major issues. Her English is improving. My children have grown up and her children are almost adults and happy with our relationship. Whether the relationship will last for many years to come; we cannot tell, bit for now it is great.
Very nice video Courtney, My dating history would reflect about a 10 year gap with most of my relationships, not because I gravitate towards a younger women but because of an attraction foremost. I'm fortunate to still have most of my hair at 66 and look much younger than I am. Yet it doesn't matter about the number...only the attraction and what evolves into something beautiful. Thank you from releasing the guilt that many have burdened me with for so many years dating younger women. I believed in my convictions and stayed true to them.
"The key is values, ideas about life and goals that are in line with yours" - really great stuff here Courtney. This is why I value your channel and your female perspective on dating. I would likely not hear this type of advice on a man's youtube channel. Please keep up your great work here and your incredible service to us men.
I’m twice the age of the woman I’m dating and commented to her recently on the gap between us. She made the observation that, yes, our chronological age is far apart, but our inner age is the same. After thinking it over, I came to the conclusion that she might just be right. Our values, interests and passions are similarly aligned. She comes from a culture where younger woman-older man relationships do not carry the same stigma as they do here. There are points to consider, but for me it is a matter of how much we are both willing to adapt to the needs of each other. She says she likes my depth and maturity while I appreciate her energy and freshness of outlook. This flies in the face of public opinion at times, but then at this point in life, public opinion matters far less than it did previously.
Wow that's a huge age gap I just turned 17 on September 5th, And I think I wanna date a 15 year old(she'll turn 16 on Abril next year before I turn 18), We're both in highschool I'm 11th grade and she's in 10th grade, What do you think?
Totally agree with Courtney's closing comments. There's no guarantee that any relationship will work so don't subscribe to stats and let other people's opinions shape your relationships. Do what's best for you and your partner.
Appreciate this, I just started dating this 21 year old gal, and I'm 30. I wouldn't date so young, but she's genuinely interested in who I am and knows that I'm not the party animal I used to be. Of course I like to have fun still. I'm just more refined and got my stuff together, and I honestly think that's what a lot of younger women are looking for. Women closer to my age that are college educated with a bunch of student debt and are stressed aren't what I want in my life been there done that just don't feel valued.
I’m 65 and my wife is going to be 42. We’ve been together for 18 years. Things have been great and we are both happy. I’m starting to worry about health problems. I don’t want to burden her!
Well done Frank, just remember that she married you for YOU - in sickness and in health. Nobody knows how much time we have, so just enjoy the NOW with your lovely wife and make lots of memories together since you never know what tomorrow will bring.
My husband is 14 years older than I am. We have been tougher 11 years married 10. We are so happy with our two kids with one more to arrive in December. We could not be happier. Age gaps can and do work.
I'm 40 and anecdotally, ive seen couples who started in their 20s, married, divorce at 40, even 30s. This is, in my experience, more than 60% of the ppl around me. Mostly due to growing apart, as opposed to the cliche cheating.
@Mark Lasco But it's also because people settle down before they know who they are because society is obsessed with getting married early. It's toxic actually, you should not marry before at earliest mid 30s.
I love love love so much how graceful you were about this very controversial topic. I understand some people feel that there is malice behind relationships like this but as someone who’s first hand fallen for someone of an age gap, I know it to be true and just.
From my own experience, a woman 10 years younger is about as many years as I would go for. Being able to talk about similar experiences, music, etc. is important.
Hey Courtney. Really like your content. You look fabulous, well put together, and classy. Your content is informative and really helpful. Maturity is a HUGE key. First wife was 10 years older sequentially, but 20 years younger in maturity. Fun, but only lasted 5 years. Current wife is 5 years older sequentially, but 10 years younger in maturity. I've been married to this woman 38 years. A lifetime. Right? We're good together. Went thru huge ups and horrible downfalls, but we clung together and will most likely die together. Maturity and a willingness Not to run at the first sign of trouble I believe are really the attributes that keep people together. Keep up the great work!
So glad that UA-cam recommended your channel to me. I must have watched a few dozen of your videos over the past week. So much great information. Thanks!
I’m 85 years old but most people think I’m 70. Some say 65, but I think they’re just being flattering. I accept 70 because I’m very active and believe in having a lot of fun. I’m a professional, jazz singer .I date women in their 60s. I’ve been approached by women in their 50s, but that’s too young for me, so I don’t bother. I was married for 63 years and always faithful .My daughter is 57. I’m always a gentleman.
Can confirm with what Courtney’s saying about the focus on priorities instead of the number. 25 year old male dating a 57 year old female here. We’ve been together for 2 years and while no means easy, we’ve mutually been the happiest we’ve ever been with each other. A lot of that comes from our day to day interactions with each other driven by our experience, mentality, sex drive, etc. We enjoy being with each other and learning from each other. Generally we are in alignment with many important things.
I think it's messed up men get shamed for having a preference for a younger partner than them, while women aren't shamed for liking older men when it's obviously just a natural human preference for us both
I'd agree with you right up until coming across narcissistic misogynistic attitudes like the kind expressed below (see replies to Rick Rick90). That is to say, by the same token: I personally cannot stand men who make relationships ALL about biology and sexual currency. Apart from how shallow and lacking in depth of character, this makes them. It's also a very depressing attitude of reducing relationships to the level of being a meat market. So, I'd say that it works both ways: yes, this is programmed to a degree in biology, that of women being sexually attractive when young and men when they have most resources and status. But we aren't just animals. And if a person actually wants love that isn't essentially just using the other person for what they can give you physically and materially.... Well then we aren't just animals then and it isn't that love is all conditional. Really I shouldn't even get triggered when I come across misogynistic comments about women over 49 being worthless. Because the people who have these attitudes are setting themselves up for a major fall when aging and loss of sexual status invariably happens to them. They are their own worst enemy, because to they are essentially stupid...Just shocked that people can be so very easily insensitive and can revel so much in an unfair advantage...as if they EVER earned it. God I can't stand misogynistic men. Don't know how they can even think that women would have ANYTHING WHATSOEVER to do with them.
Women are shamed for age gap relationships. If by "younger" you mean the normal 2-3 years it'a not *really* younger. If you mean age-gap then you'll get flack for the gap just like women do. Your algorithm just doesn't show you what's said to women because you're not a woman 🤷♀️
I married my wife when I was 18 and she was 27. It hasn't been without its struggles, but our marriage is still going nearly 30 years later. I would say the biggest struggle for us has simply been the result of me being so young when we got married (and no, there was no pregnancy involved). I attended college after getting married, and have struggled to build a career while trying to be the primary wage earner in an era that practically requires both partners to work full time. I basically hamstrung myself financially from the get go by not getting my career established first. Such is the sacrifice I was willing to make in the pursuit of love, but I neglected to accept that she would have still been there if I had built a foundation to my career first. I felt that the relationship trumped all else (which it does) and that led me to draw the conclusion that I needed to pursue it chronologically first, which wasn't necessary.
@@BeGioBijouxBecause her value decreases dramatically while his goes up and he has to struggle because she got the biggest end of the stick trade and leaving him as the betamale provider during a time when her value was dramatically dwindling over the undefeated wall... It's now cheaper to keep her and if he didn't wife her up or provide enough of what she felt entitled to, then she would have left him him because she wanted to secure the bag first regardless of having any kids.
Hello Courtney, somehow I stumbled upon your channel and wanted to let you know I really enjoy your content. I am a man over twice your age but think your videos have a lot of value. You have a lot of wisdom, especially for someone in their twenties. I wish there were more older women who think like you. As far as the age difference issue it's best to be around the same age or maybe the man a bit older but I know of some examples where there was a big age difference and it did work. My uncle is around twenty years older than my aunt and the have been married over thirty years. My best friend's wife was sixteen years older than him and they were married over twenty-five years until she passed away from cancer last year so it can work.
My father was in a huge age gap relationship when I was growing up. Actually, he was much older and in his late fifties when he met my stepmother who was 26 when they first met. My mother had died a few years earlier from cancer. He remarried at age 60 but unfortunately died a few years later from a rare autoimmune disease that didn't have any effective treatment at the time. I haven't really dated anyone significantly younger or older than myself, but that's mostly because I'm attracted to people with certain personality and character traits. You should do a video on the five love languages. It was created by marriage counselor named Gary Chapman who noted how a lot of marriages and relationships struggle because each partner feels and expresses love differently. There's not enough time and space to elaborate here, but it is quite fascinating. They are 1) words of affirmation, 2) quality time, 3) gifts, 4) acts of service, and 5) physical touch.
The 5 Love Languages is a great suggestion! I would add to check out the work of Dr. John Gottman; his work on relationships is hugely insightful as well. 👍
I think the selection of a life partner is one that of a personal choice. In my opinion the key is in the maturity of both parties and not the age gap that will finally decide if the relationship will be successful. So it is non of other people's business!
1:06 VERY IMPORTANT!!!! and no other channel is saying this :mind blown: 1. Chronological age (ID) 2. Psychological age (how I view myself) 3. Physical age (health) 4. Sexual age (desires)
I'm 45, decided to grow out my beard, rocking the white hairs. Just made plans with a coworker who is.. I have no idea, 22 maybe. She seemed happy that we have plans. We'll see where it goes.. Thanks for your vids. I just got out of a terrible 12yr marriage. Ridiculously high conflict divorce, which, by all metrics, I won. These videos are helping get back out there.
I read a couple of sources where men and women are open to date 10-15 years age gap , do they actually ment really 10-19 yrs gap at least or they really ment 10-14 yrs gap ?
Communication and understanding is the foundation. Honesty and loyalty are the walls; together this will support the love and compassion that will hold for a life long companionship. I came from a broken homes. My parents combined were married 7x before I was in my mid 20s. And everything I mentioned was what they lacked.
In my opinion and experience, finding a compatible and mentally healthy partner is simply a sheer miracle in itself, regardless of age.
Nailed it - finding that "click" with someone is what matters, but it's no small feat.
Amen :D
Only for men, for women its always been piss easy bt now its INSAINLY easy, a woman is getting several hundred offers a day plus more in real life (as opposed to online) its almot criminal how easy it is for women, but for guys its the EXACT opposite, now if a woman stays single for a year we have to be better than half a million guys (literally) thgats just insanity, of course i cant be one of the top most famour rich dominating alhpa males or a top pick up artist ! so im fucked !
@@AchtungBaby77 That click means fk all nowadays, i clicked with a woman, but because i am so utterly hopless with women (i have autism) she dumped me and now this woman is talking to pick up artists who are good with women but has nothing in common with at all, and we had EVERYTHING in common, literally everything, she was the llove of my life, but that connection meant fuk all to her, she and all other women would much rather have a top pick up artist, money and power or the dominant abusive alpha male than a connection ! lol, your an idiot if you think that connection means anythingn to women !
I mean if the age gap is around 20+, then chances are ome person has mental problems in one form or the other....the question is how good are they hiding it and how strong your Freudian attraction to them is 🤢
Far and away, my most successful relationship was with my wife, who was 18 years older. We met doing 1940s swing dancing back in 1998.. She looked my age with a tiny waist women half her age would kill for. She was the kindest, sweetest, most emotionally stable, most amazing woman I've ever met. Our relationship lasted 20+ years. She passed away three years ago and I miss her beautiful face and kindness everyday.
sorry for you loss. You both had a great ride, man.
Thanks for sharing your beautiful story with this amazing person. May her memory always light up a smile in you and warms you heart
She was at her peak fertility between 18-24, so it makes sense that you were happy.
Sorry for your loss. She sounds like an amazing woman
God rest her soul
I met my wife when I was 38 and she 21…neither of us were previously married and now in 2023 we have been together 16 years, married for 15 years and our son turns 14 this April and our daughter turns 12 in July. In our case age difference truly didn’t matter. I’m not a sugar daddy and she wasn’t a gold digger and our lives prove it.
You lucky dude
Reading this I'm feeling hopeful at 40
It most likely seemed like a stretch back when y’all first met, but now she is your age back them and now you’re around 54, it doesn’t seem as bad. It may get interesting in her 40’s and that mid life start kicking in and the kids are grown. You will be in your 60’s and she will still feel like she can pull! Keep your eyes open👀
You are lucky, as she is. I am only 19 and can't say I actually have ¨dating experience¨, mostly because I am looking for a partner, as in long term relationship, and find it hard to meet people my age who are looking for that as well. I am not precisely looking for an older man, but if I happen to meet a good and smart man with goals and we connect with each other, regardless of age, then I will be very happy to become his partner if he wants me to. So I suppose I understand your wife there.
Hang in there brother! I wouldn’t change a thing! Quite frankly I find people are jealous of people like me and you because it’s not happening to them! Too bad so sad! Cheers 🍻
I'm 63 and my wife is 35. It works for us. Older and wiser. Midlife for her and she is mature.
Ewwww 🤢
She's 10-15 years away from her midlife
@@stevescruggs2164 and there ain't nothing wrong with that. Just as long as you stay away from 19 year olds, you're good
@@bufficliff8978 middle age is between 35 and 60!! really middle of life is about 40, because we live about 80 years and not 90
@@F1uffy_f3rN There is nothing eww about this, she is old enough to know what she wants and she wants him. Saying eww about people you know nothing about says a lot about your maturity. Maybe watch some more of Courtney's video's to grow up.
Marriage counselors have observed in age gap relationships the ones that fail are the ones when one or both partners were specifically looking for an age gap relationship. The ones that succeed are the ones that just spontaneously happen.
Thank you sir for your input.
This is total BS
I think also it generally is a bad idea to date women who are between 18-21 unless you grew up with them, regardless of whether you're 25, 45 or even 19, unless you really are just looking for a one night stand. The reason I say this is that people at that age are changing so rapidly that, in a sense, you may not even really get to know the real person. The only reason it works if you grew up with them is you may be enough in tune with them to change with them, and you can also cherish your memories from early life.
Sources would be appreciated.
@@alexanderfretheim5720 I have read studies that say both male and females by the age of 18 are set in their ways and change very little afterwards
Just a note. My wife and I were in a 40 year relationship. (I lost her to cancer 3.5 years ago). She was 10 years older than me. (Almost to the day.) Never once did the age difference bother me and it never bothered her also. We had great times and there were times where we had to work at it. She was the love of my life and my soul mate. I feel that age is just a number if you “click”., you click. The best years of my life were with her and I miss that. I am just now coming out of the heavy cloud of grief, not sure if I will ever be completely out, and my heart is beginning to open back up. I still say age is just a number, it’s life experience that makes the difference. She taught me life skills and I taught her life skills. We melded together beautifully. Thanks for allowing me to express myself on this subject.
Sorry for your loss Man. She sounds like she was a great Gal. Maybe there's another one (or two) in your future? Take it slow and have some fun when you are able. You've earned it.
My heart goes out to you for your loss, Russ. But I'm pleased that you had so many happy years with your wife, and that is what counts. Thank you for saying all of this.
Beautifully conveyed Russ. Thank you. In full concurrence. Love is blind as long as we vibe, we vibe. So many factors involved in whether a relationship will work, and it's never just about age differences though generally this plays a part. Courtney's spot on.
Your wife would have wanted you to live your life forward, as happily as you could. May you find peace and calm knowing she's still with you, in spirit and living memory. God bless her and you. Warmest wishes, Sir.
May God Bless you.
Im so very sorry for your loss, What you have/ had with your wife ❤️ , most people will never experience for one day ❤️ god bless ( I’m married , husband , kids , we have a home and careers. I’m giving thanks 🙏🏼)
Nail on the head, Courtney. The best predictor of relationship longevity and success is having aligned values, beliefs, and goals, no matter the age difference.
I am in love with a man who is nearly 20 younger than me. He has told me he loves me and I have told him I feel the same. When we first met there was a connection that I had never felt before and we do have the same goals values etc and so much in common. We are both older individuals so we don’t have the issues some younger people have with having a family etc. Fortunately I have always looked quite a bit younger than my chronological age so that helps.
Sorry that is UTTER BS, i met the love of my life, we connected well on everything, had all the same beliefs which is pretty unusuall but she dumped me like a hot brick when i told her i was a virgin, i think she ncorectly thought i dont like womens bodys, when the real reason is its because i couldnt get a woman, now she left me she will almost certainly be sleeping with top pick up artists or dominant abusive lalpha males or rich powerful men, i know for a fact one of the players she is texting and flirting with has NOTHING in common with her at all, its incredibly painful to know that some dirty bsrd who happens to be good with women will know her better than the person who was right for me ! the best predictor of getting a gf is how good you are at pick up how dominant ab usive and alpha you are and of course money and power ! forget about connections, if you dont know anything about women your fucked !
@@margaretcampbell2681 Same, i cconneted with this woman like i never have before she would have been the love of my life but i am hopless with women so she dumped me, now she is messaging a top pick up artist who she has NOTHING to do with so no, the guy you " connected" with is just a good pick up artist, he has read and understood a book by an expert with women using pre determined tactics to mimick a connection, top pick up gys do it all the time, one said every woman he sleeps with says you where tythe perfect guy, the "one" ! also i am over 40 too so your definatly not safe in older years ! congrats your dating a pick up artist !
I agree to 1000%. A 25 year old can have better values than a 40 year old woman, this also counts for men.
That is true. But woman biological and mentally mature much faster than men , and I truly feel from my experience an older man has been aligned in maturity with me . Dating men my own age has been frustrating
my husband is 31 years older than me but we are so happy 🥰💖 We always learn new things about each other 💖
That's quite a large gap.
How did yall meet?
Ew omg
nah what 😭😭😭
Most age gaps don’t bother me but Jesus there’s a limit
@@seanharris8419 Me too; I draw the line at 50 years.
Watching so many relationships succeed and fail, I think that what matters in a relationship is if the person you're with genuinely makes you happy, shares your values, makes your life better, and complements any differences or similarities you may have.
I agree. So many people get stuck in the idea of the ideal height, age, and etc… But being with the partner who can get old and grow up together is what matters imo
complements*
compliments refers to saying nice things to someone. complement refers to meshing well with something
Absolutely this is it. Nothing else matters between two adults 💯
I was in a relationship with a 33yr age gap, and we were the happiest couple when we were together. Unfortunately she started listening to people telling her that it wasn't right, that she needed to date guys her age and she broke it up with me. Now she is unhappy in her new relationship and I'm going thru the toughest healing process of my life
Aww. Sorry. That happened.
Work it out brother!!!!!!
you should know to stay away from a relationship like that before you get in too deep. That type of gap can work if you are in your lower 30s with someone 60s, but really, what are you looking for in a relationship? after 60, your body begins breaking down and you probably won't make it past 90 when the other person will only be in their 60s. Then, its harder for them to remarry at that age.
@@dnsgilbert09 its harder for women to remarry after 35 years .
@@dnsgilbert09 Lol your comment is a contradiction in itself. You said if they marry, it's harder for him to find someone, but obviously not if his wife found someone that age at hers lol. His own wife would prove it's not impossible by the fact she married him.
It all depends on context. When I was 21, I dated a gal who was 27. While I found her attractive for me, she ingratiated me with her sense of life experience. I never could connect romantically with women my own age. Which is why at 35 today, I've dated much younger. I've gotta wonder if it's because I grew up with an emotionally unavailable mother, whereas on the contrary, my dad was and still is very available. When discussing men's issues, you often hear talk about absent fathers and almost nothing about absent mothers.
Thanks for sharing these insights.
You may just be intelligent, so the things that you realised earlier on, girls your age would not understand until now.
Dude, my experience exactly! Nice to know I’m not alone in this world 🤓
it does not depends, nobody will ever recognize their own issues, this is all not conscience dude, nobody going to think that rationally
21 I date 35 yo .. we broke up when she ask me to babysit the kids 🤣🤣 ... now I am dad ..
It's indisputable that life is more about compatibility and everything is about compatibility and love. Amazing work you've been doing, Courtney.
A couple we know have a 12 yr. age difference. She was 34 and he was 22 when they married; now married 37 yrs. Both say they had lots of growing up to do, but they worked hard and it got done. They are closer and more in love now than ever.
No-one cares when the woman is the older party. It's not even controversial if the guy is under 25.
@@rdor011 I don't know if anyone cares, but the woman is branded a cougar. Not nearly as sexy as an older man and a young woman. Anyway, who cares, as long as they make it work, right/
I just met a woman and shes 41, and im 28 and wow… Shes amazing. Never thought id like an older woman but her confidence and her loving herself/knowing what she wants is a huge attraction. Our chemistry is deep too, it’s opened my eyes that age is really a number at a point.
Where do you meet women
Thanks for letting these assholes know that it’s about the person not about the age. I’m the same with my husband.
It’s just amazing with sex because she’s ran through. You won’t be compatible in nothing else. And her boobs are hanging too the knees.
just met.
check back in 10 years.
You're too young for her. As you get into your 30's and her beauty starts to fade, you will find yourself looking for younger women again
I've always felt comfortable with about a 7 or 8 year age difference. The reason is that you're about the same generation which gives you similar things that you can both relate to. Nothing worse than talking to someone and them telling you that they read about it in a history book. I guess I should point out that I'm over 70 years.
That me rn she sweet great shape looks young and she’s good to me
women dont read history books..
Yeah.....I'm 29 and under 26 or 25 is a no go for that reason. Maybe 24 if she's really really mature but I want a partner not a daughter lol
Also age at the time of marriage. I'm 38 y/o dating someone 8 years younger than me. After age 30 everyone views everyone as fair game, tbh. Anything before that and the stipulation becomes an arguing point.
My parents are 8 years apart.
I’m 42 and my girlfriend is 24. Best relationship I’ve ever had.
jammy
But I bet her parents absolutely hated the fact she went out with you.
@@steveboone1498why?
@Withtherackzugetslapped let me ask you this. Would you want her being with a man around her age that is going to be abusive to her or would you rather have her be with an older man who can treat her right?
You really need to be open minded because you don't know if one is going to be ruined all because of an age difference. Take a look in Hollywood there are tens of thousands of celebrities married with huge age gaps and they both work together to make both comfortable. If you still can't be accepting that, then you are closed minded.
@@steveboone1498 I was 40, she was 20, her mother set us up
1. Age gap relationships certainly *can* work, it's just important to realize that you will each be more likely to be at different points in life, the greater the gap, and you will have fewer shared cultural experiences. Beyond that, things are negotiable, but biology does impose certain limitations, so if you want to have children, you definitely have to consider age differences carefully.
🥇
Hi Marc!!
@@CourtneyRyan Good Morning Miss Courtney! 🙂
In that part of my own relationship of 22 years age dif and the possibility of kids...been together for many years already. So it is a topic of discussion.
And it's good to have the foresight to know that you might be much healthier and able bodied at one point than your much older partner.
My parents were born two days apart. The closest age relationship I’ve ever heard of. Still married after 57 years.
My wife and I were born on the exact same day and year. Together for 45 years. Still going strong!
My parents are one day apart, still together (married) after 60 years.
19
@@marcelgirard5162 god is good 45 years 😮 I haven’t even lived half of that
Mine were born 11 days appart. Married when they were 21, 45 years ago.
As someone who has constantly been with older men, I can say that the relationships could work out. The love could most definitely be there but it is about plans in life and communicating them. My last relationship was a 26 year difference and we weren't bad together. We loved having each others company and supported each others goals but support and commitment are not the same thing.
It's amazing how differently people age in terms of health. For older men like myself, I'm always shocked at the differences in how my peers age. Even thinking about wanting kids or a spouse, your health level dominates the conversation. If you and your partner don't both take care of your health after you get married... Watch out. A lot of divorces and marriage struggles revolve around having very different health habits.
Thank you for consistently being so non-judgmental. In a world where people can be so harsh, it's refreshing. As someone often attracted to women several years older (or occasionally more than several) I appreciate your kind words and open mindedness.
I think the most important thing that everybody is overlooking in relationships these days is are you enjoying the relationship?
THAT'S WHAT I KEEP SAYING! YES BRO!
Yes, at the beginning. But when years go by, after, 10, 20, 30 years together, it may happen that each is evolving in a different direction, and that the chemistry is not working anymore. It can be hard to figure out if you've not experienced it personally (I'm 58 now, after 15 years of marriage) ...
@@dupontfra that can happen to couples same age. Wouldn't it be better for a couple to be happy together for 30 years even it there was 20 years age difference than couple both same age only being together for 5 years?
@@dupontfra Yes, that's what usually happens. You grow together, then you grow apart. Does that render the 10, 20, 30 years together meaningless? No. Accept it and separate in friendship. Be richer for it, move on, rebuild.
Wonderful topic Courtney! The individuals in my life have had incredible relationships with diversity in age from my parents in which my mom was 15 years younger ( my dad has now passed), family friends that have a 25 year age gap ( the husband being the younger of the two), as well as friends with the usual 2-5 year age gap. All have had beautiful marriages with the commonality of respect, loyalty, gratitude, joy and lots of love.
An extremely interesting and balanced approach to the topic. I’m 55 with a high energy level, super active, and very driven. I play bass and love all genres of music. Needless to say it’s very difficult for me to be attracted to someone my age as they usually are not compatible with me from quite a few fronts.
Most of the time even a 10 year age gap is not enough. Where I start seeing compatibility is about a 13 year gap or more so I’m in a bit of a pickle, but hey still doing my thing. Enjoying life, business, health and travel.
We’ll see what happens, thanks for the interesting viewpoints
If they're both adults, I don't have to give a shit about what "society" thinks about it.
Agreed
Slippery logic mate, so incest is fine as long as they are adults?
Amen
@@bulkathos154 Unfortunately engaging in incest is morally wrong especially if they are related by blood
@@bulkathos154 yes
My wife is 8 years older than me. When she found out how old I was, she literally kicked me out of her apartment and ended the dating. We had only dated 3 times. We were only apart for a few weeks. We have been married 26 yrs together 27 yrs now. She is my best friend and always will be till she dies.
笑 That's why we should go beyond societal expectations and go for what we really want。 笑
@@user-yc3fw6vq5n 😬
Or until you die😂 she's only 8 years older give her a break 😅
Till she dies???💀💀
16:23 tell us the secret to this successful relationship please 😊
I’m 75. She’s 54. We have had fantastic 14 year long marriage. However, we face the reality that I’ll probably die in the next 5-10 years. We are planning accordingly. My point is that unique adjustments are necessary to maintain a viable relationship. It depends how much you agree on what you want and badly you are willing to adapt.
Y'all doing good ?
Much love to you
what if she was 54 and you were 86, and you were just starting to date? do you think it would matter then?
Must be scary being so close to death.
@@NGU7754 it is but i have life insurance from Jesus Christ.
Love your content. It’s always so balanced and interesting. I’m in an age gap relationship with 16 years between me and my partner with me being the younger partner. I was 30 when we got together so not young and naive. It’s honestly been the most connected relationship I’ve ever had. Communication is the big difference, and we just click. Similar values and interests. I’m lucky my partner wants to start a family and hasn’t yet so we will be going through that milestone together. Yes - I do think about the future and the fact that health issues may arise later down the track, and that I may end up alone. But in the end having the time you are given with a person you absolutely love and adore is better than many many years with someone who isn’t right for you.
Very good points , wish you both all the love and happiness
I have been thinking about this,better a few years in a great relationship than many years in a sad relationship
Agreed, and my ex is proof that settling is the worst thing you can do
I’ve never really thought too much of age and more about how attracted I am to that particular person, and our compatibility. When I was 29 I was dating a 44 year old, now I’m 45 dating at 22 year old. I was very happy then, and very happy today. Most of my long term relationships were with woman within a 3 year age gap.
I feel like the older I get, the age doesn't matter as much as where each other is in life. Having a common ground and realistic expectations is important.
True, if it’s someone who’s barely legal maybe an issue and can’t do much and don’t have a lot of things in common of life versus if your 30 or late 20s at the least.
This is true. With that said, once you get outside of 10 years, take precaution and think everything through.
>>feel like the older I get, the age doesn't matter
Sorry, bro. I am 53, dating one of the weaker generations isn't a good plan
@@CinimodNorton Gen X doesn't exactly come off as stronger than the others... Older people generally seem stronger than younger people, simply because they have lived longer and experienced more. BTW, Jennifer Anniston is 53 and I think she is hot 🔥.
This is coming from a 35yo.
I married a 35 year old woman when I was 60. That was 15 years ago and we have a 12 year old son. We have a wonderful relationship and it keeps getting better and better. I'm in excellent health and I try to keep myself in good shape for both my wife and my son.
This is reassuring as I'm 40yo and would like to have kids. I'm improving myself, exercising and taking better care of myself than I ever have in the past. I believe I'm more likely to find higher quality women now, since my life is on track and my confidence levels are up.
Was she hot? If so, how did you swing that?
Me and my husband are just getting started on our family. I'm 24 and he's about to be 44, but we have both always wanted to be parents so we're going for it! Your story is encouraging! Thank you for sharing!
It's great to hear success stories like this, could you please share your experiences being a 75 year old father with a 12 year old son? For me personally, I'm not sure I'd want to have kids starting high school when I'm mid 70s.
@@AchtungBaby77 It's not for everyone. I love kids and I sincerely believe it helps keep me young. I also have an older son who loves his little half brother and does activities with him like skiing which I no longer do.
Really like how Courtney is becoming more evidence based in her analysis. Not that I didn't believe her before, but it's just extra reassurance when claims can be justified. Excellent video
With controversial subjects like these I feel like science is the only way to go
That’s what matters
You checked the references?
@@conservingcommonsense4980 We thought you were doing it.
@@chrismcclain6518 Hahaha
Once you've both reached a certain level of maturity (rather than age), you can work through any generational difference. It's the life phases and expectations (like children) that can steer you towards the rocks.
Me and my girl have a 8 year age gap. I’m about to be 40, she is gonna be 32. It’s literally been such a good relationship.
Trust that once you hit 60 she will for sure cheat on you, if you even last that long that is. Got to get it while it's tight I understand but good luck.
I'm happy for you two, best of luck man.
@@pazuzu603 loser talk.
8 years is nothing
@@pazuzu603 ol' salty
I met my wife at a party when she was 16 and I was 26 and she was always flirting with me which I found annoying as I was obviously not interested. Despite everything we had a lot in common and we spent a lot of time together gaming online and talking in general, but even though we had a good connection, I wasn't looking for a girlfriend and I liked being just friends. However, we started to hang out more and two years later, she was now 18 and I was 28, we kissed for the first time and it was from that moment we actually started dating. We got married 5 years later. She's now 39 and I'm 49 and we are happily married for 16 years now with 4 beautiful children.
Beautiful story my man.God bless you all
Pretty creepy
According to the morally superior you are a predator and a manipulator.
In my opinion, people need to stop worrying about others’ relationship preferences (as long as the relationship in question is legal) and start worrying more about why they care so much 😆
Beautifully said
Most people aren't bothered by age gapes per se. What bothers people the most are predatory men chasing after 19/20 year old women.
19 & 20 year olds are adults...not predatory of 2 people are consenting
@@adammitry6011 just cuz they were age of consent doesn't mean the relationship wasn't predatory I mean adults can be sexually abused too and young people may not even realize that til it's too late and it happens but I suppose it can happen at any age the real question we ought to be asking is why are they wanting someone freshly out of high school
@@daniellarkins3849 this is exactly what I went through I'm glad you see why this can a problem too
As long as the heat is there, age doesn't matter. Don't let your bed go cold. A strong sexual bond is what distinguishes a good relationship.
Believe me, the criticism of older men dating younger women comes from women, not men, and it's always the man who takes the heat, never the woman.
And it always comes from women closer to the man's age who are pissed that the men they're going after aren't interested.
It really depends, for much larger age gaps say 20-25 years when the man is older sounds predatorial and manipulative so the man takes the heat. Whereas if the woman is that many years older, it wouldn't sound as predatorial. However for 10 year age gaps, it's the other way around. In conservative cultures 5+ year differences are judged either way, but the man being 2-4 years older is completely normal, whereas the woman being merely a few months older than the guy is frowned upon.
They are jelous of the younger competition
@@ahlinad1221 When a woman is that much older ofc she is predatorial. And it's never predatorial if she is of age.
Usually it's actually the younger women who are the predators...
@@ahlinad1221 You just speak about your parents and YOUR wishes, but that's not related to how it should be, nor what's healthy. Mature parents are important. Too many people get kids too early in life and mess it up.
I'm 28 and my preference is right around 25-28 range when they've had a little experience in life. 18-23 year olds are way too immature and don't have the slightest clue what they want when it comes to dating and also come with a high maintenance attitude as well as a huge list of unrealistic demands.
30+ years olds I've encountered are too damaged from previous relationships, don't take care of themselves, too set in their ways, career driven rather than wanting a family, or have some sort of resentment towards men in general.
Appreciated hearing these insights.
You can date 23 years Old because the age gap is Only 5 years apart 23 and 28 years Old are both Young couple because you're in the same generation unlike 23 years dating a 35 38 years Old That's More weird I'm 26 years old my preference is 20-23 I prefer 3 to 6 years gap which is the normal age gap I mean I'm not Old Man I'm not 40 so I can date women who's 20 years Old she's only 6 years Younger than me it's more weird if she's dating a Guy who's much Older than me I'm from Romania here in Romania it's normal
Certainly true about the 30 plus crowd of women. Any woman should be told career or family, you gotta pick one at some point before you’re 30, and keep in mind it’s gonna take a few years at least to find someone to build a family with.
I think there are some mature younger women, they’re just super rare.
@@tommyvercetti9322 You wont think it's weird when you are older.
It is context sensitive on many attributes. A 41 year old can have the happiest most real relationship with an 18 year old as I know someone, and their intentions and happiness outweigh any other relationship I've ever seen. He looks only about 25 tops though and is really healthy and she is very mature acts like a 30 year old and looks bout 22
When they walk holding hands, nobody would even think there's much of an age gap. He's English she's Fillipino, and the only people who judge, are mostly jealous folk who can't find what they have together. :)
I don't think they would have initiated if he looked older or she acted immature, but in that case the balance was absolutely perfect and they fell in love with each other fast, shared no end to familiarities, and spend all day expressing how important they are to each other.
If I had first heard 41 and 18 if just assume the guys some fat old chap with 💰 but seeing this love has made me totally rethink age gap relationships and there are very sweet good people in the world still.
My girlfriend and I have a 32 years age gap. She’s older. We’ve been together 11 wonderful years and I couldn’t be happier. Of course, we had our challenges with society throughout the years… people thought she was in it for the sex, or I’m with her for the money and blah blah. We both work for ourselves and built a wonderful life together. We stopped caring why others thought because what’s most important is Being happy with your partner. Being a team and having a wonderful connection is what’s helping us in our journey. I love her so much.
Wow
Good for you.
You did it backwards my guy
😳. Ok…….. so she won out
Creep
I am impressed with her wisdom, knowledge, maturity, and compassion for being so young. This is a great channel.
Going to be honest, with your writing style and pic I'm unable to hear your comment not in batman's voice
@@Jean-Pierre-Parent Now the only question is, which Batman iteration are you thinking of?
I'm 51, 6'03", look like I'm in my late thirties (not my words), good income, and freshly divorced. According to this formula I'm going to buy a motorcycle and puppy and watch the dating world from a distance while I sip on a cold beer from my hammock.
Great channel Courtney. Congrats on the growth this last year and keep up the great work.
Fuck your income
Plenty of people out there who are bored and single just like you. DON'T GIVE UP!
Do get the puppy though LOL
@@JishinimaTidehoshi I didn't give up because I never started
Show them your rich.
Rent some cars.. post on Instagram
You’re misunderstanding my post. I’m wanting loyalty, sincerity, and predictable fun……….hence the dog and motorcycle. As a recent escapee of a marriage, I’m not trying to attract chaos back to my life. Living with a happy smile on my face will probably attract more than enough women to mostly avoid………..and I’ll VERY carefully screen them before risking a disruption to my drama-free happiness. I’m not a hater, just survivor who’s MUCH wiser.
I'm 42, she's 21. We've been happily together for over a year now. It was never about age, but rather our chemistry and compatibility are outstanding. There's always going to be outside judgment, but it doesn't bother us.
Good for you! I married my wife when she was 21 and I was 35, we've been together 29 years and we have two great sons. At the time I was looking for someone much younger, and I found her in the Philippines. I make no apologies for our age gap and never did. Now all these years later it all seems so academic. I only watched the beginning of this video because I can't stand when people make up stupid arbitrary rules about things like age gaps. To me, "half your age plus seven" sounds like someone's attempt to box people in and create an artificial social standard. I also hate when people get psychoanalytical. I'm a libertarian at heart... run your own race and do what makes *you* happy.
Teddy is only 29?? He has the maturity of a 35-40 year old..So you would be ok with a man 10-15 years older than you!
You're both adults and can do what you want. Period. Anyone judging needs to stay in their lane and mind their own business as far as I am concerned.
beautiful
Pred
My parents had an age difference of 1 year and divorced after 3 years together, then they remarried with someone with a 10 year age difference and have both been happily remarried for 20+ years now
your parents sounds very silly and imature
People usually marry close-in-age for first marriage, but when people remarry, the age gap almost always grows a lot. With people that marry 3, 4 times gap just keeps growing wider
@@josecarlosxyz Or you just dont like that they found other people they matched better with and had a long lasting relationship with? Clearly you are agist.
@@josecarlosxyz Why?
Hey Courtney. I highly praise this video. It was very smart, informative, non judgmental, and unbiased. Many journalist can learn from you. You earned a new subscriber. Keep up the good work.
I was married for 18 yrs to a girl 20yrs younger than myself. We talked about the age difference in our relationship prior to getting married...and she told me most marriages the people are pretty close in age....yet that overwhelming number of people still got a divorce. I think it is life itself has changed so much and people can want to break away eventually for greener pastures.
If we vibe, we vibe. Whether that vibe lasts through the years and decades, is another matter - many factors. But age is not really a factor when love and attraction are just blind.
Courtney is spot on with another great video. I'm skeptical of data analysis, though it's nice to have; what matters is how you feel when with your partner, and whether the relationship is complementary, regardless of age, where the focus should be on bringing out the best in one another mutually in a balanced give and take relationship.
As I age, I am learning to listen more, say a little less (but no less to speak when needed and necessary), and to give room for differences in ideas and views without arguing.
Self-reflection is key to adjusting oneself to be better than yesterday - it's a sign of maturity. I wish to be in a relationship to give a little more, even alot more, without holding back, to have loved fully, than be calculative about how much I receive - with the hope she does the same for me. It's why communication, compromise and the touching of love languages are foundations for all relationships. Lady luck is part of our personal fortune to meet someone complementary. The challenge is, we tend to take things for granted when in a long term relationship and we do not treasure what we do have. Be grateful for the good in your partner, and if you get 75, 80% of what makes you happy being in the relationship, there's just an ease and calm and a settled feeling when together, it's really a blessing - then compromise with give and take on the balance 20%. There ain't no perfect fairytale relationship. So don't expect one, and we'll not be disappointed.
Hey, I just wanted to thank you for all the great advice you've been giving us! I've been out of the dating scene for a while, I don't have a girlfriend, and I haven't restarted the dating process yet, but your insight has been helping me to take the steps to get there, so thanks for the guidance and encouragement!
It’s my pleasure! Thanks for being here 😇
@Marcus It's not society that has to turn this around. It's the women. It's entirely on them.
@@CourtneyRyan My only tiny misgiving in this vid is implied notion that what strangers think about you matters. It shouldn't matter (yes you mentioned it but should be emphasized maybe), I know it can be very difficult to overcome our tribal instincts but ZERO F's Given to what random fools think is liberating and a major component of self confidence, etc.
Likewise we all need to temper our dumb judgments of others.
You will get taken advantage of taking your advice. Taking advice from women will make you feminine.
Awesome video I am 62 and my girl is 21 and her and I are really good together we’ve had both the gold digger and the pervert, talk extensively and neither one of us represent that whatsoever. We just super enjoy each other’s company. She loves me for my life experience and I love her for her naivety and things I can show her in the world as she grows, by the time we fall out of love, I’ll already be dead do the best you can for finding the partner that is best suited for you and that’s all one can hope for… btw she was 18 when we met, i ask her why she want to date someone my age and she had an extensive list that made sense to me and she had
obviously thought this through just so everyone knows
@MarkRobins
I'm a 64 year old widower, and I've been talking to a 20 year old woman for the last couple of months. You give me some hope. 😊 Though I think it's unlikely to go anywhere.
It's selfish to be in this relationship not normal just hire her as your home health aid
Americans will think you are a groomer
Europeans won’t care
Right on, good for both of you ! 👍👍💕
I'm 28 and currently dating a woman who's 34 and I have to say this is the healthiest relationship I've ever been in. She's so patient and easy to communicate with. She makes it a point to create a very safe environment whenever a difficult conversation needs to be had.
She sounds like she is wife material
My experience too. Older women i found are way less complicated. The older ones know what guys want and have the maturity and experience to make it work .
I was in the exact same boat, dont make her dreams yours, which is probably having babies rn. Live your life. Just trying to share my experience and help in anyways, she might be different but dont be offended wit what i am telling you. I like responsible people and my ex was another baby who wanted to have a baby. Guess who would have to be a daddy to both😅, like literally
@@McLovinBoo8ies these niggas are so naive 😹😹😹
@@gavinclaassen6440 My experience says otherwise, If I only knew the shit storm I was getting myself into.
My wife is 12 years older. I’ll be 33 in October and she is 44 now. We have been together since 2011, engaged in 2014, married in 2016 and still going strong. 10 years together on the 14th of this month
Wait until menopause. Good luck with that, sir.
Any children?
@@hotstreak9805 I have a 24 year old son and a 19 year old daughter from my wife's previous marriage. They were 14 and 9 when we met.
Ouch. Usually its men getting with younger women..
@@ssing7113 ouch? Sounds offensive. Some younger women or women in my age range were not mature enough for me.
I've date older women and their expectation in a relationship is higher than a woman my age or a bit younger. If a man dates a woman too young sometimes she doesn't know what she wants in a relationship. It has it's pros and cons
Agreed, there are pros and cons to both.
When I was a teen in the 1990s older women came onto me and seemed easy & fun compared to the belligerent girls in school.
Now I notice women 30+ definitely have too many "expectations" of Men in relationships whilst giving significantly less.
I truly believe the _"best"_ women of today would be laughed at as worthless 304s by average women in pre-feminist times.
Yeah because she’s been around the block man…. That’s called doing reverse. Most older men want younger girls 😂
When it comes down to a long-term relationship, I've always believed age is just a number if you and your own girlfriend/boyfriend love each other very much because love is one important thing that has to be continued in marriage (commitment to support each other no matter what happens in life)
Very true. I’ve been in a 20 year age difference lasting almost 10 years. I think two hippie, off grid, DIY, artsy, farmy types would generally work well with a big age gap. But if the older guy is leaving his corporate job while the younger woman is starting a similar career, it will be problematic to a greater or lesser extent. Ultimately it’s down to how much two people truly LOVE each other. Without love, no relationship will last satisfactorily. It will be more like a convenient codependence otherwise.
That's an interesting view point ..
I live off grid and have obviously built my own cabin ..
My friend is 30 years younger and she is the one who instigated the friendship..
I also have another woman 30 years younger who is interested and she also instigated the friendship
Luckily I don't sleep around but after dating 10 women I decided they are the 2 I like having in my zone .. .
I am 51 btw so do the math 😄
Courtney, when I was 29 I met a girl that was 21 were under the same zodiac sign. we were married for 43 wonderful years with no big problems and raised one daughter together. Until she was diagnosed with cancer, the love of my life passed away 6 yrs ago. So age gap marriages do work.
She was at her peak fertility between 18-24, so it makes sense that you were happy.
I don't even consider 8 years much of an age gap, especially once you hit 40.
@@adamgraydon3255 I agree, because 8 years younger than 40 would only give her 3 years to have children.
@@nimson50 peak fertility is 15-18
@@suziepeaches321 not pedophilic babe
I think compatibility is the key and not age differences. Do you have the same goals, beliefs, and life style? These will reduce the times when you are struggling as a couple. It was my first and only marriage while she was on her second. We had the normal periods of strife but when we concentrated on the things that matter, we were able to come out better for it. I lost her to medical problems but still we had 38 years together. I consider those years the best years of my life and where I matured the most.
my wife and I are 22 years apart...she is 21 and I am 43. we have no delusions about the difficulties that come with the gap but I think our willingness to brave those differences is our strength.
There is 31 years between my partner and me, and we have been together almost 14 years, as you say there are problems but nothing that can't be solved.
P0do
Pred..
@@Sm04.277 a not unexpected, bigoted ,uninformed reply.
my knowledge and experience has increased but my maturity topped out around 28 years old so what is our real age difference?
I find this women so grounded and sensible ; not trying to impress everyone it’s so refreshing as for me I was married to a woman 2 years younger than me for 23years . First 10 years were good ; last 13 pretty awful ; only stuck together for the kids
Since then I’ve dated many women age gaps have been 10 years plus younger . My last girlfriend was nearly 20 years younger; we didn’t break up because of age ; it was emotional incompatibility and other lifestyle factors ; but we still see each other casually which is good . I have another lady who’s 30 years plus younger , and one who’s 5 years younger. Bottom line it’s totally about the connection with that women , not the age ; it’s ridiculous the judgement I get because I date younger women by friends and family. Societal norms around this issue are archaic, younger women like older men for their resources and this isn’t just money ; it’s life experience; confidence and how they treat a woman; women have told me they like being around me as I give them confidence and treat them well ; generally guys of their own age don’t know how to do this ; I know I didn’t as a young guy
Also women generally will not stay with a guy who doesn’t satisfy them sexually; this is so important but it’s rarely discussed by women as they don’t want to hurt the guys ego ; older guys are much more competent in the bedroom as a rule
I feel like one of the hardest parts with age gap relationships is depending on the range, the older is willing to throw "experience" into any conversation and treat the younger like they don't know anything. I deal with it all the time because I'm a 22 year old female who wants a stable family and relationship, but people keep telling me to learn myself more which I've been doing more than I get credit for.
Don’t let anyone judge you into making decisions you don’t want to make. ❤
Let no man despise thy youth (1 Timothy 4:12) :D
All jokes aside, this has been a motto of mine. I get weird looks when I say I’m working towards a family at age 23, just haven’t found the right guy yet. It’s all about perspective, attitude and goals, rather than what’s common for your age.
As a 42-year old who recently went back to college and sat in a classroom with a bunch of people half my age, my take on the "experience" line is that it's less a question of "more" experience and more a question of *different* experience leading to cultural differences. Differences with a lot of potential for friction.
I mean think about it for a moment: a lot of the technology that was the most outlandish science-fiction in my childhood were ubiquitous things that a lot of people took for granted during yours. And add to that very different social, economic, and political circumstances during our formative years.
You know your heart better than anyone. We all have different emotional and physical needs. Pursue what makes you happy :)
need to give the young person credit for their youth as well
My husband was 11 years older than me and we were together for 22 years. He was born in 1970 and I was born in 1981. We started dating when I was just 3 months shy of 19 and he had just turned 30. Sadly, he passed away very unexpectedly 7 months ago. Otherwise, we would still happily be married. We had so much chemistry and such a strong connection and bond that you never would have known there was over a decade between us in age. My parents are 9 years apart and have been married for almost 51 years. I'm now 41 and I have absolutely no problem being with a guy who is in his early to mid-50s, but I wouldn't go any older than that and I DEFINITELY would not go for someone younger than me.
As a 25 year old female dating a 19 year old male... Can I ask if you think that age gaps are okay the other way (genders reversed)? My guy and I are 6.5 years apart, let's call it 7. I am curious as to how your family and friends responded to a 19 year old dating a 30 year old? I get judged so harshly... Have lost friends over the issue. People think I am disgusting and taking advantage of a younger person who has not gone through the same life experiences that I have yet. I should mention that we met at work and coincidentally also attended the same post secondary institution, and he pursued me at first. I was extremely resistant for fear of taking away his youth/making him grow up faster than he was meant to, others judging me as predatory or emotionally stunted, etc. And those are real concerns. However we seem to match so well... Our values, personalities, life goals all align. He wants a family and doesn't mind starting young. He loves children. Anyway... What do you think? Am I blinded because I want it to work so badly? Is our relationship wrong because of the age gap? No matter how well we seem to fit, will it always be wrong? Imbalance of power and experience? Any thoughts you have are appreciated.
Perfectly normal for a guy to be 10 - 15, sometimes 20 years older.
@@wgdetective7034 is not about the age. It's about what happens in the relationship. Close age gaps, large age gaps, both can be bad or good. You have to see by yourself what type of relationship you got. Good or bad. If it's good, then there is no reason for not being happy.
@@banagan4604 I'm just seeing your comment well over a year after I posted my original comment. Funny you said that as, for the past 15 months, I have been dating a guy almost 18 years older than me and we have the best relationship ever. :)
This is useful. I am an older single guy and currently all of the single women I have regular contact with are significantly younger and some of them are showing an interest in me. I genuinely care for the ladies in question and I am concerned about right and wrong in general. Most of the videos I've seen has been about how to attract younger women while I am concerned about the morality and ethics of doing so of pursuing the ones that are already showing signs of attraction.
35 ÷ 2 =17.5
17.5 + 7 = 24.5
Age does not matter, it's about the chemistry. My girlfriend is a few years older than me but age isn't a problem and she is a good person
Thanks for sharing this John!
@@CourtneyRyan You're welcome, Courtney! Sending love from Miami, Florida
Great comment and insight!
@@SoothingSoundsGL Thank you!
@@johngonzalez4298 You’re so welcome!
There is a 25 year age gap between my wife and myself, me being older. And we have been married 14 years. We also have a 14 month old. Our birthdays are one day apart. I cared about her maturity level. She pursued me. I’m 63 and she is 38. Our one year old keeps up very active. But it’s a mindset and the willingness to be open about what someone has experienced and someone has not and meet in the middle.
She was in her late 30s, she was probably desperate to pop a kid. It's not very smart to reproduce from someone so old that he might not even see their kid graduate from college. She will be a lonesome widow in her 50s too. She will likely be alone for the 30+ years she has left, it's hard for women to date at that age
@@TuAmigoElMorrocoy well so far everything is working out as planned. Our baby is healthy and if I happen to pass before she graduates from college, they will have each. She will also have my family and my wife’s family to lean on if necessary. Also, I have set up an email for her that I send life lessons to, that she will be able to read when she gets older. All is good. When my father passed I went into a dark place. Her was my best friend. But I am hoping the letters to her email she will get to know all of me as her father.
@@mor.6860Awww. Just when I was abt to attack you 🤭… Sounds like you’ve got everything panned out. Keep up with your health because a 30 something year old woman might not see the seriousness of it yet. We start worrying in our 40’s… ❤
@@TuAmigoElMorrocoyThey’ve been married 14 years, so she was 24 when they married. So what you say makes no sense?
@@TuAmigoElMorrocoyAlso, that’s a bit of a sweeping statement about women dating in their 50’s…… how old are you?
My parents are 25 years apart and stayed married for almost 35 years till dad passed. When they met mom was 35 and dad was 59. They had me the following year they met.
So sorry for your loss. How do you feel about the relatively brief time with your Dad? Did the high-quality time make up for the brevity? Were your friends at school accepting of your non-traditional parents?
@@4thisGoodDay Of course I would have wished dad had me earlier, but in exchange for time was his wisdom and experience. It made me more sensible and wiser than my peers. It lead me to make better life decisions, discipline and integrity. He also provided a very stable quality of living.There's always going to be people talking trash about age gaps no matter what, it comes with the turf. Just remember they don't pay your bills, have no investment in your life, and it's your time on this planet not theirs. Hope that helps :)
@@pushfighter Thank you! Your advice helps quite a lot, and your unique perspective is enlightening.
I was 40 my wife was 23, we had absolutely nothing in common other than our values and we like to be with one another. It’s now 30 years later, never had an argument and every day is like the first day. C❤D
Pretty much the same thing here.
Honestly there is so much variation with this. I know someone who has a 20yr age gap with her husband and they are so happy together. I've also seen the opposite be true. My fiance and I are only a year apart and our dynamic is fantastic! But that took some work for us to get to this point. Love comes at you in a plethora of ways, you just have to be open to it when it pops up.
I think you pretty much nailed it - love and relationships are complicated because people are complicated.
A close family friend of mine married a girl of similar age when he was mid 30s, no children, divorced a few years later, then met a beautiful woman 10 years younger than him, got married, had a kid right away and they're both fantastic together and make a lovely family. You just don't know where life will take you sometimes.
I’m about to be 26 and my range has been +/- 5 years, much further and I encounter phase of life issues I’ve found. But even recently I went on a date with a 22 year old who was fresh out of college and while we had a good time, it felt like almost everything we tried to talk about and bond over just completely missed. Even just 3.5 years was a huge life experience difference, not necessarily on phase of life, but more so on the specifics of what we experienced. Tried to make small talk about movies and music but we had literally no overlap and I’d never heard any of the artists she’d mentioned but apparently many are current top artists? It’s interesting.
Now days you have choices. Either keep it simple and do prostitutes. Its a short term financial contract and in the long term is way cheaper than a relationship that thanks to feminism is bound to fail. OR , keep it even simpler and buy yourself one of those silicone sex dolls . PS . From a 54 years of experience !!!
I met an 18 year old two years who when I was travelling. I was 26 at the time. We messaged for a while and had a lot in common, she is probably one of the most nice and mature girls I have met. Unfortunately we live in different countries though so she ended up getting another boyfriend and now we don’t talk any longer.
So I wouldn’t use your anecdote as evidence of someone’s maturity (or indeed mine). You can have very mature 18 year olds (albeit they are rare) and immature 30 year olds (these are much more common in todays society). It just seems like you guys didn’t have a lot in common, but that it wasn’t necessarily connected to your ages.
Interesting insights, thanks for sharing your experience!
26 years old and 22 years old are both Young couple they are in the same generation unlike 22 years dating a 36 40 years of course that's different
Yeah. I had exact same issue when I were 22-23 Years. Finished College at 18. It's really Rough Dating when you're the older one.
1.) Cause the pressure is Higher on ~ You (The Man/Guy)
2.) Some Women are ofc not Couger/Creepy. But.. a lot unfortunately are very uneducated let alone; Even have Common-Sense in ~ Dating
From where I'm from '(Nordic-Nation)' *Prejudice + Hookup* Culture - is Everywhere since Early 2000s. So.. if your a Man trying to Date you've to Roll the Dice. Regardless.
*Spoiler alert:*
Age does matter ~ For both Genders
My wife is 10-years older! For the two of us, it was a perfect union. We got married older in-life. I was 31 (do the math). We chose not to have kids. We are still both active and in love.
Funny how many women "chose" not to have kids when they are in their 40's.
Sounds like a dream mate. Well done👍🏻
@@lewishorsewell8852yeah because men are super fertile later in life
This topic hit close to home !
I'm giving a ldr relationship witch she is 20 years younger then me .
We video chat almost every day and plan to go on a vacation in the new year to spend time together for a couple of months !
Reading all the positive comments gives me courage and hope !
Friends of mine - a married couple - are nine years apart in age (he is older). They have a great relationship. In fact, they told me they were glad for the age difference. He was settled and had a good, established job as an airline pilot with seniority under his belt, and she was ready to settle down and be an at-home mom.
For traditional people (and possibly conservative people as well) of course you want a big age gap and a stay-at-home mom. But I don't want that and I know others don't as well.
She was able to hop on board what he’d already worked on for over a decade, and she did it for free. Of course she was on board.
@@noobbotgaming2173 it's not about wanting an age gap. It's about being compatible.
@@dukeonwheels I agree!
@@josephstevens9888 I am a little biased though. I'm currently dating a woman 7 years younger than me. It's not that I was looking for someone that much younger than myself, but we just clicked from the day we met. We started dating two weeks after the fact, and it's been going well so far.
Love it, upvote. Age gap is a thing. I was married to a woman 9.5 years younger than me. So, I am in Gen X and she is an early Gen Y. The marriage didn't fail because of the age gap. The marriage failed because of communication issues and the fact is, I truly left her in the dust (EQ wise) once I started getting my ADHD treated and counseling. It was like a drag race where one vehicle is just far quicker (A Porsche 911 vs a Geo Metro). And the more I grappled with my emotions, the more she tried to exert an unfair level of "her agency" unto the relationship. When that slipped out of her hands, rather than deal on a mature level, she tried to hold onto whatever agency she had left and threatened constantly about divorce.....so, what do you do? Even saying this, 2 years after divorce, and it still hurts like a motherfu.....
As for age gap, yeah, I wouldn't date anybody under 30. I am 46, and I have nothing in common with somebody 20 years younger than me. I have also found, that as I age, I am really finding things about mature women in my age group, slightly older, slightly younger. Things I really respect and that are attractive to me. Such as high EQ, high compassion, world experience and likeability. Remember the old rule of dating? Divide your age in half and add 7 years, yeah, it is good guide. But being perceptive and listening to what others are saying is important. Don' be ageist either. If I am contacting somebody that is 10 years younger than me, and being polite, on a dating app, that isn't creepy. I think too many women are far too stuck in this idea that older=bad. Men as well. In fact, I shouldn't have to feel like a creep for just wanting to meet people in the age group I spoke of. If we are talking too young, or even under 18, yeah, that is a no no! It just pisses me off that somebody in their late 30's is so ignorant as to think a mid-40's guy is too old. It would be equally insulting if I said the same thing to a 55 year old woman, insulting to her.
If you like somebody, and are being realistic about it, and they are not under age (DON'T EVER GO THERE), go for it!
It would be interesting to know how/if those divorce statistics per age gap might change depending upon what age the younger partner is at the time of the marriage. For example mid 20’s vs mid 40s. Thank you for your great content!
Agree. I was what would be called a bad boy. Had my fill by late 20s, I purposely chose a less experienced woman because I had to many bad relationships with woman who were party girls and had as many or more notches as me. I was 27,she was 19. 15years and 4kids. I got lucky and love her more each and everyday.
This has become one of my favorite podcast/videos. She is incredibly smart. Love it!
I'm 32 & have just met a woman in her late 40s at a local singles night. She has the same ideals, relationship goals, no baggage & is great for her age. No regrets. I was straight in there!
Enjoy the last few years before the milk spoils. 😂
@@djangomarine6658 🤣🤣🤣
@@djangomarine6658🤣🤣😐
@@Brookpitlik...and @*#^ you too! ....Hope all your younger women leave you once YOUR milk spoils...!!!! 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁...Ha!
My partner is 23 years younger than me (67 vs 44). She is Asian, and we get along well. Her friends are very envious of her, and how well I treat her, and constantly ask if I have friends to introduce them to. We are both fit and healthy and have no major issues. Her English is improving. My children have grown up and her children are almost adults and happy with our relationship. Whether the relationship will last for many years to come; we cannot tell, bit for now it is great.
Rock on, for both of you ! 👍👍🎉🎉🌹💕
Very nice video Courtney, My dating history would reflect about a 10 year gap with most of my relationships, not because I gravitate towards a younger women but because of an attraction foremost. I'm fortunate to still have most of my hair at 66 and look much younger than I am. Yet it doesn't matter about the number...only the attraction and what evolves into something beautiful. Thank you from releasing the guilt that many have burdened me with for so many years dating younger women. I believed in my convictions and stayed true to them.
"The key is values, ideas about life and goals that are in line with yours" - really great stuff here Courtney. This is why I value your channel and your female perspective on dating. I would likely not hear this type of advice on a man's youtube channel. Please keep up your great work here and your incredible service to us men.
I’m twice the age of the woman I’m dating and commented to her recently on the gap between us. She made the observation that, yes, our chronological age is far apart, but our inner age is the same. After thinking it over, I came to the conclusion that she might just be right. Our values, interests and passions are similarly aligned. She comes from a culture where younger woman-older man relationships do not carry the same stigma as they do here. There are points to consider, but for me it is a matter of how much we are both willing to adapt to the needs of each other. She says she likes my depth and maturity while I appreciate her energy and freshness of outlook. This flies in the face of public opinion at times, but then at this point in life, public opinion matters far less than it did previously.
>>She comes from a culture where
I’m seeing a 59 year old. I’m 32. She’s great.
Good luck and hope you two stay happy together.
@@alexmuenster2102 Maybe the Philippines?
Latina?
I'm 62 and my girlfriend is 37. We are so alike and compatible. My moto is "don't let anyone tie your laces who hasn't walked in your shoes".
Wow that's a huge age gap
I just turned 17 on September 5th, And I think I wanna date a 15 year old(she'll turn 16 on Abril next year before I turn 18), We're both in highschool I'm 11th grade and she's in 10th grade, What do you think?
Totally agree with Courtney's closing comments. There's no guarantee that any relationship will work so don't subscribe to stats and let other people's opinions shape your relationships. Do what's best for you and your partner.
Appreciate this, I just started dating this 21 year old gal, and I'm 30. I wouldn't date so young, but she's genuinely interested in who I am and knows that I'm not the party animal I used to be. Of course I like to have fun still. I'm just more refined and got my stuff together, and I honestly think that's what a lot of younger women are looking for. Women closer to my age that are college educated with a bunch of student debt and are stressed aren't what I want in my life been there done that just don't feel valued.
I’m 65 and my wife is going to be 42. We’ve been together for 18 years. Things have been great and we are both happy. I’m starting to worry about health problems. I don’t want to burden her!
Well done Frank, just remember that she married you for YOU - in sickness and in health.
Nobody knows how much time we have, so just enjoy the NOW with your lovely wife and make lots of memories together since you never know what tomorrow will bring.
My husband is 14 years older than I am. We have been tougher 11 years married 10. We are so happy with our two kids with one more to arrive in December. We could not be happier. Age gaps can and do work.
I'm 40 and anecdotally, ive seen couples who started in their 20s, married, divorce at 40, even 30s. This is, in my experience, more than 60% of the ppl around me. Mostly due to growing apart, as opposed to the cliche cheating.
@Mark Lasco But it's also because people settle down before they know who they are because society is obsessed with getting married early. It's toxic actually, you should not marry before at earliest mid 30s.
I love love love so much how graceful you were about this very controversial topic.
I understand some people feel that there is malice behind relationships like this but as someone who’s first hand fallen for someone of an age gap, I know it to be true and just.
From my own experience, a woman 10 years younger is about as many years as I would go for. Being able to talk about similar experiences, music, etc. is important.
Yeah more than 10 is to much
Hey Courtney. Really like your content. You look fabulous, well put together, and classy. Your content is informative and really helpful. Maturity is a HUGE key. First wife was 10 years older sequentially, but 20 years younger in maturity. Fun, but only lasted 5 years. Current wife is 5 years older sequentially, but 10 years younger in maturity. I've been married to this woman 38 years. A lifetime. Right? We're good together. Went thru huge ups and horrible downfalls, but we clung together and will most likely die together. Maturity and a willingness Not to run at the first sign of trouble I believe are really the attributes that keep people together. Keep up the great work!
So glad that UA-cam recommended your channel to me. I must have watched a few dozen of your videos over the past week. So much great information. Thanks!
I’m so glad! Thanks for being here and for the kind comment 😊
I’m 85 years old but most people think I’m 70. Some say 65, but I think they’re just being flattering. I accept 70 because I’m very active and believe in having a lot of fun. I’m a professional, jazz singer .I date women in their 60s. I’ve been approached by women in their 50s, but that’s too young for me, so I don’t bother. I was married for 63 years and always faithful .My daughter is 57. I’m always a gentleman.
Can confirm with what Courtney’s saying about the focus on priorities instead of the number. 25 year old male dating a 57 year old female here. We’ve been together for 2 years and while no means easy, we’ve mutually been the happiest we’ve ever been with each other. A lot of that comes from our day to day interactions with each other driven by our experience, mentality, sex drive, etc. We enjoy being with each other and learning from each other. Generally we are in alignment with many important things.
shes old enough to be your mother
@@dnsgilbert09 yup. Facts.
I think it's messed up men get shamed for having a preference for a younger partner than them, while women aren't shamed for liking older men when it's obviously just a natural human preference for us both
Holy well stated Batman! 🤌
I'd agree with you right up until coming across narcissistic misogynistic attitudes like the kind expressed below (see replies to Rick Rick90). That is to say, by the same token: I personally cannot stand men who make relationships ALL about biology and sexual currency. Apart from how shallow and lacking in depth of character, this makes them. It's also a very depressing attitude of reducing relationships to the level of being a meat market.
So, I'd say that it works both ways: yes, this is programmed to a degree in biology, that of women being sexually attractive when young and men when they have most resources and status. But we aren't just animals. And if a person actually wants love that isn't essentially just using the other person for what they can give you physically and materially.... Well then we aren't just animals then and it isn't that love is all conditional.
Really I shouldn't even get triggered when I come across misogynistic comments about women over 49 being worthless. Because the people who have these attitudes are setting themselves up for a major fall when aging and loss of sexual status invariably happens to them. They are their own worst enemy, because to they are essentially stupid...Just shocked that people can be so very easily insensitive and can revel so much in an unfair advantage...as if they EVER earned it.
God I can't stand misogynistic men.
Don't know how they can even think that women would have ANYTHING WHATSOEVER to do with them.
Women are shamed for age gap relationships. If by "younger" you mean the normal 2-3 years it'a not *really* younger. If you mean age-gap then you'll get flack for the gap just like women do.
Your algorithm just doesn't show you what's said to women because you're not a woman 🤷♀️
I married my wife when I was 18 and she was 27. It hasn't been without its struggles, but our marriage is still going nearly 30 years later. I would say the biggest struggle for us has simply been the result of me being so young when we got married (and no, there was no pregnancy involved). I attended college after getting married, and have struggled to build a career while trying to be the primary wage earner in an era that practically requires both partners to work full time. I basically hamstrung myself financially from the get go by not getting my career established first. Such is the sacrifice I was willing to make in the pursuit of love, but I neglected to accept that she would have still been there if I had built a foundation to my career first. I felt that the relationship trumped all else (which it does) and that led me to draw the conclusion that I needed to pursue it chronologically first, which wasn't necessary.
How being married stands in the way of you building a career?
@@BeGioBijouxBecause her value decreases dramatically while his goes up and he has to struggle because she got the biggest end of the stick trade and leaving him as the betamale provider during a time when her value was dramatically dwindling over the undefeated wall... It's now cheaper to keep her and if he didn't wife her up or provide enough of what she felt entitled to, then she would have left him him because she wanted to secure the bag first regardless of having any kids.
@@mizum3458 im willing to bet my life you are not even married and is a teenage virgin. ok maybe an old virgin.
You're describing the opposite of what happened here
@@mizum3458sure bud 🤡
Helpful!! Now I understand why the younger women keep smiling at me and I won't feel weird approaching them.
Hello Courtney, somehow I stumbled upon your channel and wanted to let you know I really enjoy your content. I am a man over twice your age but think your videos have a lot of value. You have a lot of wisdom, especially for someone in their twenties. I wish there were more older women who think like you.
As far as the age difference issue it's best to be around the same age or maybe the man a bit older but I know of some examples where there was a big age difference and it did work. My uncle is around twenty years older than my aunt and the have been married over thirty years. My best friend's wife was sixteen years older than him and they were married over twenty-five years until she passed away from cancer last year so it can work.
My father was in a huge age gap relationship when I was growing up. Actually, he was much older and in his late fifties when he met my stepmother who was 26 when they first met. My mother had died a few years earlier from cancer. He remarried at age 60 but unfortunately died a few years later from a rare autoimmune disease that didn't have any effective treatment at the time. I haven't really dated anyone significantly younger or older than myself, but that's mostly because I'm attracted to people with certain personality and character traits.
You should do a video on the five love languages. It was created by marriage counselor named Gary Chapman who noted how a lot of marriages and relationships struggle because each partner feels and expresses love differently. There's not enough time and space to elaborate here, but it is quite fascinating. They are 1) words of affirmation, 2) quality time, 3) gifts, 4) acts of service, and 5) physical touch.
The 5 Love Languages is a great suggestion! I would add to check out the work of Dr. John Gottman; his work on relationships is hugely insightful as well. 👍
I think the selection of a life partner is one that of a personal choice. In my opinion the key is in the maturity of both parties and not the age gap that will finally decide if the relationship will be successful. So it is non of other people's business!
I agree..
Agree 100%
thank you, I always gain something from listening to your videos. You are so insightful, patient and wise for your age.
1:06 VERY IMPORTANT!!!! and no other channel is saying this :mind blown:
1. Chronological age (ID)
2. Psychological age (how I view myself)
3. Physical age (health)
4. Sexual age (desires)
Statistics paints a picture, but experience tell the whole story in detail
I'm 45, decided to grow out my beard, rocking the white hairs. Just made plans with a coworker who is.. I have no idea, 22 maybe. She seemed happy that we have plans. We'll see where it goes..
Thanks for your vids. I just got out of a terrible 12yr marriage. Ridiculously high conflict divorce, which, by all metrics, I won. These videos are helping get back out there.
I read a couple of sources where men and women are open to date 10-15 years age gap , do they actually ment really 10-19 yrs gap at least or they really ment 10-14 yrs gap ?
Communication and understanding is the foundation. Honesty and loyalty are the walls; together this will support the love and compassion that will hold for a life long companionship. I came from a broken homes. My parents combined were married 7x before I was in my mid 20s. And everything I mentioned was what they lacked.