once most men get past their 20s, all this time and energy they spent trying to impress women or be a "catch" and self-doubt begins to fade and he can then be free to live a life for himself and others. It's so nice.
I never worried much about impressing women in the very conscious way some men do, but I did somewhat subconsciously feel bound to please them. It was as if I never had permission to please myself rather than whatever random female happened to be standing next to me at any given time. In some ways I didn't even allow myself to think the thoughts or feel the feelings I had floating around inside me. I cut myself off from own reality to avoid displeasing them! Now that I'm in my thirties, have been married for several years and have kids, I have this ever-growing freedom from all that. It's like, wow, okay, this or that woman can have this or that opinion about me or how men should be, but that's okay, because I don't care all that much any more. I can actually be myself and I don't put random women on pedestals any more. There's a lot of sadness, though, for myself and for all the boys and men out there whom I perceive to be cutting themselves off from themselves just as I used to do (much, much more than I do now). Your self -- for lack of a better way to put it -- is too intimate and valuable a thing to just surrender to others without so much as a peep of defiance. If anyone out there ever reads this and finds that anything I've said resonates, my wish for you is that you take yourself back and never, ever betray yourself and your fellow man like that again.
Just turned 34 and realized this within past year or so. I just don’t really care anymore. I’ll take care of and improve on myself, but not bending over backwards for a woman. They need to work on themselves as well.
I agree. I'm 26 and kind of past most of my partying days and it's amazing how confidence just comes. Like I was such an awkward teen into my early 20s but now I'm who I am and love it. I'm perfectly confident in being myself. Age brings confidence as well as wisdom.
*In a generation riddled with anxiety, it boggles my mind that for as much we condemn male insecurity, no one seems to have a cure for it other than say just don't be. Imagine going to the doctor and having them say "just stop being sick."*
This list is just stupid and it's terrible advice for men. I honestly can't believe how popular this bullshit is on the internet. I can't even imagine a worse mindset to give men who are trying to get better with women. Dude's basically saying that any sign of insecurity will turn a woman off. Well, even if it's true, it's just another thing to be insecure about. It would be like trying to put out a fire by pouring gas on it.
There is a way, people talk about it all the time. Do hard shit, work to overcome weaknesses and become competent at things you either fall short on that you feel are holding you back or double down on things you are naturally good at. What a self defeating mindset you have. It’s evident you have absolutely no control over your own mind. No wonder you’re insecure and anxious. You’re not competent enough at anything worthy to be otherwise. Keep complaining on social media bro that’ll really turn your life around 🤦
I hope most people appreciate authenticity. I would imagine that if one would be authentic about his/her insecurities that the person realises that he/she should work on that. I think if our society would put less emphasis on being in a relationship rather than working on being authentic and that it is ok to be insecure (because, again, I believe that by acknowledging it and working through it you might be able to get rid of it). If I remember correctly Narcissists care a lot about status. So if we don't want our society to become more and more narcissistic, being honest and authentic should be valued more rather than hiding insecurities because they are soooo unattractive... Hope I didn't repeat myself too often^^ would love to read some responses.
@@marcolaich994 most Americans have some level of Narcissistic behaviors. We all want to be perceived in certain ways. There comes a point where being honest with others about our flaws is necessary and rare. Social media is just adding to our narcissism.
Never put any woman on a pedestal. Treat them like a star and they'll treat you like a fan. Be yourself…if they don't like who you are then move on. Millions of other women out there to choose from.
Every time I say this, a bunch of simps gang me, saying things like "there's nothing wrong with improving yourself". To be honest, growing up poor and being the only person in my family to ever have a college degree, I don't think I did too bad of a job.
These are my words, my friend. Its an good advice that Courtney would give to us. But thats her perspective. Be yourself guys, have your life under control, be confidence what you do and what you succeded. If couples womens dont want ya, no deal there comes the person who's going to like you.
The cure for insecurity appears magically when a guy realizes that worrying about what women think is mostly a waste of time. Just relax and live your life.
@@rauminen4167 the thing is I don't want to lose her, I think if I change my negativity/pessimism I would attract her again. She was perfect in every way as I'm very picky when I'm looking at women for some reason, every check box has to be marked for me
@@01iverQueen Sounds to me she's busy dodging the bullet there - for the second one at least. You can't really blame someone for not wanting to "get attacked again". Probably should think about ticking some boxes on your own porch before looking at anybody else's.
Well, to be someone like Christiano Ronaldo, you need both high IQ and high EQ. Do you really think he would have won against soooooooo many players without being able to think like a master chess player ? (Hint: physically strong soccer guys with mental retardation get red flags faster than a 6 year old grabs his first lolly at primary school)
It’s true, sometimes my special need students are the most confident of all. Still, to be able to lead a Team, you need to be intelligent in almost every way.
I spent many years masking my personality to "fit in" instead of being my best authentic self. Took me 40 years to finally get that. And if you don't like who you are, then change it. Change your life, change your friends, change your diet, etc
I saw a quote once I really really like. ”When you get old you become the person you always should have been.” Oh how I wish I was 18 years again with the knowledge and confidence I have now.
What you should have been could be defined if you maintained the habits of your younger self but its not sound as there is to much that influences a change in path and habit especially now with our social media addictions. If you had the confidence and knowledge when you were 18 like you do now then you wouldn't be who you are now, life is a journey and everyone is on their own path, you can however change the influence of your path and how you be and become by learning, being open, and discovering the causes of your own ignorance. The past is not what defines us, rather its the present choices and actions we take in the current moment that creates our experience it dictates who we are and who we become, becoming isn't a level, its an the evolution of you. Just be happy you are you, i do agree with you, i do would also have wished i had the confidence like i do now then but it wouldn't have been realistic, the people you were surrounded by then, the level of education be it from your own reading, learning, schooling, study or what have you, or people that mentored you be it a program or a system like the military etc,. If you wanted to know how you would have turned out when you were 18, you would need to observe your habits and interests and the people that were around you, change those two things, and your current self would probably have been different, ever hear of the saying "you become who you surround yourself with"
I watched this video with total confidence, just being my true self, maintaining eye contact with Courtney, making her laugh occasionally with my great sense of humor...I think we really hit it off.
I found in my own experience that the vast majority of women, who I try to speak to and approach, are you usually the ones who are boring and can't carry a conversation. Another thing I noticed is that usually all the pretty girls or the hot girls can't carry conversations because they are used to men doing all the talking for them. Lastly, one other thing I've noticed is all of the pretty girls and the hot girls give the weakest sex. Their sex game is weak because they're used to having men do everything for them. On the other hand I have found that the women who are the least attractive or who are maybe average looking or slightly below average looking give the best sex and can carry the best conversations.
Exactly. It's definitely worth the trade off. Just get a decent looking woman you find attractive. Leave them "bad bitches" "im a queen" chicks alone , just asking for trouble. Lol
100% facts! I aim for 8s. I've hooked up with 10s who were 1s in bed and who were straight up boring always on their phone or doing their make-up basically a self-absorbed personality. 8s are a good balance of personality and overall good time. lol
@@jjw3956 I have had tens that were not bad in bed but what I'm saying is the majority of the hottest women can't carry conversations and they just lay in bed like a Carl's Jr star contributing very minimal to sex. I think coach Greg Adams said it the best when he said the hottest women have to make very minimal effort to talk to men and they have to make zero effort to get sex because men are always the one after them for that and they have to initiate it. Less attractive women and ugly women usually put in more effort and work a little bit harder to attract men because I guess you can say they have a disadvantage over hot women so they have to engage more with men to get sex or to have a conversation with.
God I hate it when a girl just basically lays there and expects you to do everything. Theyll even get annoyed if you want them to ride cowboy because it means they have to put forth some effort and do some work.
Dating 101: Take to path of least resistance: If you feel any kind of resistance, just move on to the next one. It may take a few iterations, but you will find the one who likes you for you with none of the BS and drama.
The key is to basically turn your brain off to prevent any overthinking and literally just be in the moment. Easier said than done but with like anything it's easier with practice
Most honest UA-camr on here. Courtney is very attractive but doesn’t rely on that. She’s equally critical of men and women and seems to understand the dynamics of dating in today’s day and age. Big respect to you, Courtney.
About her genuine authentic persona its true I almost made a mistake tryin to date her until i was a little too good in observancy ive noticed this beautiful Venus goddes is taken... 🤣She has a BF.... Yet my apologies to Courtney. 🤘😈🤘 Signed your trully the deathmetal undertaker from Tilburg Netherlands
I agree with Courtney that this whole testing thing that content creators go on about is not healthy. If you think your going to be tested you have already lost the game. It's about getting to know each other and if there is compatibility. It's about being curious about each other, learning from and about each other.
It is refreshing to find normal people talking in a calm way about these things. It says a lot about the confidence of the presenters, that they don't feel obliged to "spice up" the content. Keep it up Courtney!
This is ludicrous ! Dating used to be so simple. You like each other, go on a date, laugh, have fun, talk about interesting things. Nowadays it turns out to be whole science.
1 sign of insecurity: trying to construct or fine-tune your personality so that it would maximally appeal to women -- because you need validation from them in order to feel you have value.
Yes. Therr are two genders and we have assymetrical roles, requirements, struggles, strengths and weaknesses. Men don't need to be protected, men protect. Only a confident man can protect a woman (at least that is what the female insticts say). This is good, embrace the challenge, get better, be a patriarch.
This is why I watch Courtney, she’s not a dating coach out to make a bunch of money. Her advice is spot on and she keeps things real. I highly recommend following her. Keep up the great videos ❤️
@@Filthy_Larry Do you understand the term "figurative"? I figure you don't, given your propensity to try and belittle others and troll. If she's making money off of "Simps" what does that make you giving her views? Also why are you here? lmao "simp". Before you even try and label me a simp, I've paid for nothing - so get your head out of your ass. She's being nice, dude. Just try it. Won't kill you I promise.
Great video Courtney! You’re definitely helping a lot of men with your intelligent, female perspective on these issues. You have an excellent grasp of the topic. BTW, regarding testing: Some women do it intentionally, but all women do it instinctively and many without even realizing it. Most women won’t refer to it as a test though, of course. As you mentioned, it’s more like you figuring a guy out and seeing if you are a match. A test is simply a common label used for that kind of behavior during an interaction, or during the dating phases. Tests (or checking to see if you are still compatible, to use your word) are also used in relationships. Once again, great video! All the best. Cheers, Dan 👍
Dan, you have the most incredible insight of anyone. Well beyond the common topics I've noticed. I have been really liking this lady's videos as well. I hope she chooses to respond to your comment.
100%. Women have a hard time admitting they do this but it’s so clear that they do. There are various degrees of tests and each woman is different, but they all do it. This is a blind spot for Courtney, but maybe she can grow even more if she does some more introspection on the topic.
Cheat Sheet (watch the video for elaboration) 1. Can't Maintain Eye Contact (Casually, not a Staring Contest) - She Confirms. 2. Being Lost for Words and Appearing Nervous/Unsure/Flustered - She Confirms. 3. Self Doubt (How Could She Like a Guy Like Me/Him) - She Confirms (+don't Pedestal Women) 4. Lack of Confidence in Communication (Hesistation, Low Volume, Halfhazard Opinions) - She Confirms. (+Have Boundaries) 5. Afraid to Express True Personality (Acting) - She Confirms (+Be the Best YOU, not someone else) 6. Giving Away His Power to Her (Becoming her follower) - No Comment from CCR. 7. Trying to Impress (in a Superficial Way) - She Confirms 8. Displaying Tense/Nervous Body Language - CCR wants Clarification 9. Unable to Pass Simple Confidence Tests - She Confirms (caveat - it tends to happen naturally but you shouldn't NEED to test your S/O)
Its just natrue. Don't take it personally. I stopped crying about women nature and started trying to be a better man and have a better life. In turn that attracts women. Women just are biologically attracted to confident men. It gives assurance this man can protect and provide for them.
So basically you gotta be superman lol and you can't have any vulnerabilities. Man it's hard being a guy in today's dating market but it's not entirely impossible. We don't have anyone tell us right from wrong until recently. The best advice i got was to pretend that the girl already likes me when talking to her and it actually does ease your nerves a bit. Cuz the girl wouldn't be talking to me if she didn't like me somewhat. This guy had great points even tho it's my first time hearing about him. Anyways have a great weekend and congratulations on 200K subscribers ♥️😊👍
You know what? I think we are all humans. So on, we have all flaws. By being authentic means in my opinion, stay to your flaws. If u can take your flaws with a smile on your face, thats confidence. Im 100% sure, only toxic woman want a superman who is just pretending to be perfect. But no one is. Not even the most beautiful girl in the world
@@uwekirschner187 you have a great point especially that part about owning up to your flaws but not dwelling on them either. The good thing is, there's always room to improve and be better.
While i understand your point, I've been there myself, just don't give up man. Life is a marathon not a race. Put to practice everything this side of the internet has to offer so you can properly prepare your future kids or nephews/cousins for life and dating.
@@casualgerm you're right and i appreciate your perspective on this topic. I definitely try to use what i learn to help others avoid the mistakes i have made
I think this video is not about being perfect, but being yourself, i.e. being confident when accepting yourself with all your weaknesses and strengths.
You just have to get to a spot where you are comfortable with who you are and don't care what others think about that. That, my friend, is the confidence and security you seek
Actually I was just thinking about this the other day. Insecurity can be good or bad depending on the context. Insecurity can be good if it motivates you to make changes. If I'm insecure about my weight it will make me motivated to workout more, if I'm insecure about my style it will motivate me to dress better, insecure about my writing, take steps to get better. Obviously there are ways insecurity can manifest itself negatively, such as approaching a woman, or jealous but it doesnt always have to be viewed as a negative.I dont think being confident and secure if your overweight, dressed like a scrub, smell etc. is a good thing. I'm not saying you should hate yourself, but you should be able to self-reflect and be self-critical, and yes feel insecure.
You know what, I've suffered from crippling insecurity my whole life. I'm married and have a great relationship with my wife. Don't worry about this crap. You're always going to be insecure about something;_ that's the human condition. If you meet a woman who thinks she's above all that, well... if you wind up staying with her, you'll have your work cut out for you.
Women are never attracted to emotional insecurity, never.. they might say they respect that just to portray themselves as good persons, but they will run out of a marriage if the guy shows signs of any emotional insecurity or anything of that sort
Things men look for in women: Attractive, kind, honorable. Women's requirements for men:... EVERYTHING! Women's requirements are so lofty that they don't realize how they're pushing good men away. Feminism has burned the relationships people have and has made women far more intimidating because they are attacking men with their words constantly. The positive things I hear from a woman are around 1 a month, whereas media, culture, etc. all condemn men over the slightest thing. Women have burned a ton of great men just because they don't realize the abusive taunts men are bombarded will every day in this culture. If women were to show some feminine kindness, maybe men would be less afraid... because in this culture, say one thing too far and you're gonna be condemned as a predator.
😅 I'm doomed. Nothing i can do to fix things, so I'm just going to stick with eating my vitamins and saying my prayers, work out to relieve the mental anguish cause im the kind of guy this video is talking about. 😆 gosh im so screwed. No point, i give up 😆
@@dockmajor7236 Good. Now that you gave up, talk to women like you're not trying to "pick them up" - because as you said there's no point. See what happens.
@@rauminen4167 in the past i never tried talking to them like i was picking them up. I've always treated them like they were people with personalities and feelings as your supposed to. Picking up and game have never been my thing but thanks for the advice
Women want a nice guy but at the same time they are only attracted by those who are bad boys or in other words almost treat them badly, so women themselves create men they don't like in the end... How does that make any sense
Men aren’t afraid they’re tired and don’t want to waste energy on any modern women that’s why modern women are all single and will die alone it’s just a matter of fact men are the prize not women women need to know they’re replaceable act up replaced don’t cook replaced don’t clean replaced don’t pleasure her man replaced start drama replaced women need to do everything to get a man while men stand by and do nothing while women do everything to please them
Courtney is a refreshing reminder of the pure value that an honest, intelligent, & (seemingly;) altogether beautiful woman can bring to the table! 👏 Certainly an encouragement to those of us who may have learned the hard way (many of us who have drastically undervalued ourselves !)
Been following Dan Bacon and Coach Corey Wayne for a while, and their dating advice have positively changed the way I am. Following your videos and hearing advice from the female perspective is the best way to complete a well rounded individual. Keep it up 💯.
Is Corey Wayne legit ? I thought I saw him say you should read his 3% Man book 15 times or else you are not doing it right. It seemed like a red flag to me.
Being free from caring what other people think of you is real liberation. Care about what you think of yourself. Allow others to think of you however they wish. You can't control that anyway
Thank you Courtney for helping me continue to realize that any girl is human just like me, we all have our flaws and strengths, and the sky is truly the limit!
Every time I hear the words "a girl doesn't like a guy who..." just makes me feel more anxious and insecure. Being single and not having to jump through all these hoops just to be perceived as a "cool" guy to a girl is wayyy less stressful.
So life is safer when you don’t try and fail at anything. 🤔 come on bro, it’s a game. I don’t like it either, but not acknowledging what it is and choosing to be blind to it won’t do you any favors. You got this bro.
You’re fine. The message we get from society is “you have to be super confident and have no insecurities or women won’t like you”. In reality, it’s sort of out of your control. I’ve been amazed at how women could still like me some times even if I don’t act that confident. Accept yourself as you are. You don’t have to be the most secure person in the world to find love.
There are lots of normal women that can manage a guy with some insecurities bc they know life and shit. That doesn't mean to be a Peter pan. Just get your life straight and learn what's really important. That's what good women want. And not to act a special way or say something special or what ever. Bc when you get your act together all you are looking for is a women that fits into your life and vice versa. Both don't play games. And if they do they're out. Simple.
My boyfriend is sometimes shy and anxious and insecure but i love and care about him. I'm not perfect either and I'm sometimes these things too. It's normal. You don't have to be perfect to be loved. Loving someone is about accepting them, the good and the bad. You are worthy of love too, as you are. There will never be a time when you finally become perfect and finally worthy of love, so don't wait for a moment that won't come, you are fine as you are. Go and live your best life
Trying to satisfy women's endless neurosis is an exhausting and ultimately futile game. Much better for a man to be himself with good values and leave it at that.
I enjoyed you complimenting him for the very reason I enjoy watching you. Calm, direct, rational and you give credit where it's due, which is all to your credit. Thank you, for you being you Courtney.
Great content. One thing I like to add/elaborate on: being emotionally strong doesn't mean being unkind or insensitive, in fact means you possess high EQ, and although you have emotions/feelings (we all do!) you're able to self-regulate. It's about maturity of thought and feeling. Many kind and nurturing people I know are emotionally strong. 👍❤️
Unfortunately I have a great deal of these traits lol. My social anxiety doesn't help either. I guess I just have to take it one step at a time. Starting with eye contact lol. I'm just posting this to let other guys like me know that you're definitely not alone in the struggle. Thanks for the upload Courtney!
Bro read a few erotic book writen by womans, then chosse a character that you like to be and star texting girls, feeling like thah guy, off course not crazy nasty, just the confident attitude thel calm, you will see how it works and then you can mold your personally to be something that you like more, and not be that "Shy guy, bla bla", you are not that, it's just a bunch of habits of feelings and what you are jus to!
I can't imagine anything more disconcerting than realising I'm being tested while dating a woman. Well, no, I can imagine more disconcerting things but I feel like I'd still be very put off. Is that just me?
The more women you deal with and people in life the better your social skills will become. We all start at different points but you can work on yourself none the less. I enjoy your videos and the reaction ones.
@@moonknight4053 Not attacking Courtney. It seems the days of social media has dumbed down conversation. In fact I am in a conversation based relationship and I am blown away, absolutely impressed to the max that this lady is putting forth equal effort. That should be normal, it's not.
What I'm getting from this as well as from all of the "red pill" player channels out there is that true love doesn't exist, and the best you can hope to do is play these immature high school games long enough to win the manipulation game and have some transactional relationship for a while.
reason is most of the people are stuck in that mentality..... so genuine guys are losing to guys who pretend they are amazing,.... that's why so many break ups after 6 months.....
Number 8 I understand what he's saying. Basically meaning coming off too serious and trying too hard, and pretty much being way too on guard. It comes off as creepy and even a bit disturbing and it's just going to make a girl feel uncomfortable and even scared of the guy.
Great video, Courtney! I would like to note that as someone with ADHD, I find myself lost for words/hesitating more often than I would like to admit. It's not necessarily because I'm anxious or I lack confidence, it's just that my brain lags like a 2005 Dell Latitude.
I can relate and lemme tell you. The key is to talk slowlyyyyy. Take your time and everything you say to her should be made to have meaning. Not only will this present you as less anxious but also smarter and laid back (cool)
I love your reaction to this video and it's great to hear a female's perspective on this. However, on a personal level, this list reads like me...not because I'm insecure, but rather because I am on the autism spectrum. I am aware this video wasn't made for people like me, but personally, I don't like that insecurity and autism have similar social traits. So, for guys like me, it puts me in a catch-22. Love your content and watch when I can during rare downtime.
Hey Brian, nevermind I am a Asperger (too) and we find our own way and maybe equal girls that like us without the need of acting/pretending, trying to be someone else, I prefer the most time being alone, less problems ( actually I have a girlfriend for sexually adventures and some other stuff, but I am unsure about her, it’s a bit frustrating...)
I've never understood the eye contact thing. As a person who's worked in security and law enforcement for years, it's hard to keep eye contact with anyone. I'm always watching my surroundings.
I went out on a date once before I met my wife. I met this girl on line and we agreed to meet at a restaurant. I got there a little early. Reserved the table and waited for her out front of the restaurant. When she arrived we exchanged pleasantries and the first thing she told me when we sat down at the table was that I wasn’t her type. I simple said ok no problem. But you can stay for dinner anyway if you like. We talked at dinner. It was ok but in the end I said nice to meet you and have a good night
Authenticity is key. Being comfortable in your own skin. Being interested in her. Don’t be a sucker for looks alone. Intelligence in my mind is much more important. Courtney, your videos are informative without being false like Marni the Wing Girl!
Its hard being confident when ur nerdy, dont have much money, and not very good looking! I honestly gave up because its not even worth all the pain anymore and i feel so much happier just learning to be alone
I am 31 which I still feel young af but realize that overthinking will mess you up, work on yourself then it'll work itself out, and seek those who compliment your lifestyle.
@@PlanetaJuegosPC I notice it every day yet I still feel young and know I have to make some changes within myself, which I monitor and ask why did I do so and so and adjust. how old are you?
That's helped me out a lot too. I used to always try too hard to impress girls with conversations, then when I took this advice, it got a lot easier. Sometimes you find a match, and sometimes you don't.
@@ramiroguerrero8413 Exactly! There are times a woman would like a man even if he shows no interest, and completly ignore the schmuck that's using all the P.U.A. tricks in the book to get her to like him. "She either likes you or she doesn't." That's all you need to know.
@@guillermogouldburn763 Another thing that helped me out as well was not being afraid of getting rejected. It happens. You just have to stay positive and move on.
@@ramiroguerrero8413 Yes, that's actually a very mature and intelligent attitude. Unless you look like a young Brad Pitt don't expect every girl to respond positively to your advances, and move on if she doesn't. Don't act like a simp.
Dan bacon Corey Wayne and AMS are my favorite for advice. Dan Bacon teaches the foundations of attraction Corey Wayne work helps when you are in a relationship keeping the attraction and looking at the reality of things. Ams shows human nature and exposes everything that women do in private and how SOME women slide behind your back and do evil things
Thank you for this video. I've always struggled with self confidence and eye contact. I think it's because I was made fun of my appearance growing up and it has always stuck with me. I just got to really try to master these abilities and believe women will respond positively. There's no point in being insecure about my looks and displaying that insecurity in my interactions - it's only making things way worse for me.
This is a very great video and I couldn’t stop laughing when Courtney said “that is wack!” Also Courtney, I know I’m like 2 months late on this response but your question about the guy having a tense and nervous look on his face and body language is pretty self explanatory because he did mention that he could be doing this out of concern that she’ll lose interest in him which can be true if he’s operating in a scarcity mindset. This can also be true if a Woman has tons of options which is usually the case. Dan Bacon also mentioned that a man will be nervous or concerned if he doesn’t pass her confidence tests or what I like to call her sh*t tests.
The issues arise when some things that matter to men out of boundaries and comfort are instead turned into insecurities because women feel like it affects their freedom to act like single women. This works the other way too, but is not projected as commonly.
He mentioned multiple times about men and emotional insecurity or weakness turn women off. I was hoping you would address that directly. I believe a man can be emotionally open with a woman and not be weak.
Unfortunately, it is a turn-off to see a man not in control of his emotions. For example, being stoic with a single tear is a lot more attractive than a man breaking down like a blithering baby.
There lay the difference between insecurity and open emotionally. When you’re insecure you don’t come right out and say it when you’re trying to attract a woman but when you have a more intimate relationship only then can you open up about your vulnerabilities but even then the idea is to open up and improve yourself rather than continuing to be insecure and expecting everyone to just tolerate your weakness
Yeah, too much vulnerability is not a good thing. This is why spending time discovering yourself is important. You'll begin to see that asking your woman for solutions or a shoulder to cry on is about the last thing any guy should do.
More important than anything, be attractive. If you've ever been attractive, that's to say you've felt how that works inside you and you saw how people around you responded, remember that. The more you concern yourself with what women want from you the less you're able to deliver. Everything you need is in you, as a man, you literally have everything you need but I think people are looking for answers in women which has it's value but it's not the core. When a woman pops on a little sun dress, light makeup, go out with her girlfriends, she's animating a spirit. She's not just physically attractive but she's radiating the evening sun and she feels it. As men, well, for me, I am literally the opposite. I'm a little intimidating, rugged, stable yet a little unpredictable. I don't seek to "show those traits" but I feel a certain way. I'm also extremely warm. I aim to entertain myself and by extension those around me. I want to see what will happen. I want to know what that woman in the sun dress sounds like. What's her laugh like? Is she wearing underwear? So in that situation I immediately become more attractive. However attractive I may have been before gets amplified and inevitably she's going to look at me, get closer to me, linger around me, speak in a way that's clearly meant to be heard by people beyond who she's looking at. Her body language gets lofty, dainty, lax, she's trying to be seen and heard and this runs parallel to my own amplification. So the way I move my hands gets her attention, the way I walk, the tone of my voice, my slight squint, how my mouth works, my jaw, everything. I know how to show muscle without flexing, strength without pushing, presence without invading. Vibes go back and forth for a while before any actual contact is made it almost starts to feel assumed. As I always say, as a man, if you aren't physically strong at least to some degree you're not going to be able to put the vibe out. You need to know what that feels like, without it you're severely hampering the male experience. You need to be able to control your body and your environment in a clean way. Women have their base of operations, their sense, their way of putting the vibe out and we do too. Some of us go hard on vibrato some of us are cool and collected. I tell you though, we're all curious. We all want to know what that pretty girl looks like up close and we want to know if she's half of what she's putting out.
Reason why relationships fall apart is because love ends up one sided all the time. I’m starting to realize how good it is to be single and that I don’t have to worry about someone else cause chances are it’s always going to be one sided. So glad I’m a twin that’s all I really need in this world. Unless I find a girl who actually cares I won’t really care anymore
The only actual solution I've found is to work on yourself until you have the highest market value you can, and then date HUGELY down. If you're an 8/10 guy, find a 4/10 woman. That way you'll have a woman who cares and won't lose interest, because she knows she can't do better. Yeah I know, it sounds nuts, but if you're an 8/10 guy then even 6/10 chicks will leave you if one day you breathe wrong, or do something else that annoys her a tiny bit.
Dan bacon and Corey Wayne are by far the best dating coaches for men on the Internet. Both have their own methods but both are good in their own way. I find Dan’s maintaining a relationship methods work better while Corey’s methods of getting a girlfriend and initial attraction worked for me VERY well.
I think Courtney would make an excellent clinical psychologist. Great self awareness, equity and understanding of human behaviour allied to high level communication skills, self disclosure and empathy and a desire to help people be the best they can be.
I gave up on finding love some time ago. I have always been insecure. And never really learned how to react around women. Yet my best friends throughout my adult life have all been women. Oh well.
The five big ways men are insecure in my experience 1.Bragging 2.Explaining yourself like why you have a certain opinion 3.Overcompensating (height,money) 4.Trying too hard 5. Doing what Fresh from Fresh and Fit ,when you try to project an image that doesn’t match who you are.Myron and Fresh ARENT ‘playas’ that women are drolling over yet they act like they are George Clooney or something.
@@nanobyte5567 because if you offer your answer without being asked, you can come off as seeking approval. If she asks you, then you're in position of DHV
I always leave your channel feeling happy and healthy. A beautiful woman with a soft voice and great advise. I love watching your channel Ms. Courtney. I hope only the best for you and Ben.
This should really be considered a listical for women to learn how they limit their own options based on inaccurate assumptions and self-limiting expectations.
You're always a class act Courtney's and absolutely love your counterpoints to Dan and also giving him props as well really a interesting stream today ⭐✌️
For all the young guys out there. I suggest reading "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius and incorporating many of his stoic philosophies. In addition, "The Way of The Superior Man" by David Deida and Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning" are some great reads.
King, warrior, magician, Lover- by Moore and Gillette. This is especially relevant to insecurities as this text is seen thru the psychoanalytic lens of Jungian concepts if anybody is familiar with the shadow. It's becoming super helpful for me as I am into pyschology but I can already tell in the first 30mins it's a book that's about all walks of man and his ego and how we can be overcome by it. Highly recommend ua-cam.com/video/QjBGacUD-5k/v-deo.html
I personally am in my 50's and truly do not give a .... about how women see me or what they think of me 😂😂😂. Never felt better about myself. So I tell young men to do well for themselves.....not for others. Put yourself first and never ever listen to a woman on what you should be or become or act like. That's a road to perdition. I know
I say one thing and I know it's hard to believe. but it all comes down to energy you give her. the invisible attraction (energy) she doesn't look at length money or looks right away. it's the vibe you radiate
My energy is my main power to attract women. Women can feel certain things most men can’t. I’ve flirted and turned women on with simple intense eye contact, and I can feel their sexual energy beaming my way. It can be awkward in the wrong setting like the store or something.
"Don't overly brag about your past achievements or the things you have." I'm thinking one should talk about the things and activities they like to do and plan on doing more of. Maybe not carving match sticks but getting out and about with one's active interests. Going somewhere and doing something while there would be interesting to a prospective date.
Most of these really boil down to low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, and thinking he's not good enough. Unfortunately, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm generally confident in myself, and I can talk to women just fine, but I also don't approach women because I don't chase and so most women just ignore me, or assume I lack confidence because I won't approach them.
Courtney, random thing, but maybe at some point you might want to consider making a masterclass. I think the content you make is always very helpful and obviously it all ties in together. I know things like fashion and dating advice won’t be 100% applicable in every situation, but after watching so many of your videos, I always really enjoy how you mention those caveats and also try and point out the intentions of what those actions say about who you are over the specifics of your preferences. It’s really strong advice and I could see you and possibly several of your other creator friends pulling the info together and ironing out a really great curriculum. Just a thought. Thanks anyway for everything!
So basically, if you want to maintain a "relationship" with a woman, never, EVER stop putting on a show. Fake your entire personality. Never relax, never let your guard down. God help you if you experience a negative emotional state - shut that down, bury & hide it. Forever. 🤦♂️
there is one way: you should not care about what women wants and thinks. If she leave you while you are the most valuable - her falult and her loss. Just be who you are. There is one sad part - even if women love you - and will support you in difficult moments this won't last long. You will need at some point keep your emotions and negative feelings inside - and if you lucky - share with freinds.
Just be yourself - if you’re nervous say you’re nervous - that’s confidence in yourself and your feelings. You can also show you can be self deprecating in a more humorous way… It works for me, especially on first dates
i agree with the just be yourself. always works for me. but dont say what you feel lol thats a big mistake. just feel it and be yourself and she will like that you are confident in yourself and how you are. women can sense genuine behaviour. its like a superpower. they just know if you are acting liek yourself.
theres a time to open up. its after you had for example a great date, and you both go home adn you know she was feeling you. she seems happy. she texts you i had a great time. THIS IS THE TIME TO SAY SOMETHING LIKE 'you know you really looked gorgeous tonight.' she is primed and ready to recieve a big compliment. with woman its always about timing. you can say sometihng at the wrong time and it totally backfires but you can say the same thing at the right time and it works like magic.
Dan Bacon has great advice. He’s also the only person out there giving relationship advice. Whole lotta vids on how to meet and talk to girls but not very much on what to do once you have a girl.
I have struggled with anxiety all my life, I'm 57 years of age, I was doing ok when I was doing my passion in life, but when I lost it, I got fired because I felt like I was standing up for myself. After I got fired I have been in a deep depression for about 12 years now. I have lost my self esteem and self confidence in life and with women, I'm on disability now. But even if I am depressed the rest of my life I still feel like I am a worthwhile guy and can still meet someone special. It is what I believe. It is what I pray for.
Everyone has infinite worth! Keep going! Even if it’s hard, know that pretty much every human understands to a degree. We all go through trials in life. I will pray for you!
For a man with major depressive disorder like myself, this is very discouraging. It’s already dark, now I have to worry about my wife being turned off due to my depression symptoms. I hate being a guy. I really hate it.
Get into martial arts your depression will be gone above all else it is a place for structure self control and you become apart of a family it is not a sport it is a way of life and it is a well structured support system. I’m former military and needed that outlet for energy and complex thoughts once I came home when I had that set up for me everything that followed in my life became better and without effort. Include the wife in martial arts as it is a really good family environment. I study Kyokushin and am registered in Japan as a martial artist I can go into a dojo in whatever country I am visiting and pick up my training right where I left off it is a global organization. Dojo leaders serve as a guide in your daily life and will always be there for you no matter what.
I’m getting married and every once in a while a girl will catch my eye and I wonder what if. Then I see a video like this and thank god I’m getting married. Screw all this, there’s nothing worse than a shy guy trying to act outgoing. Be yourself even if that means you’re sometimes emotionally weak. There’s others just like you.
A lot of what Dan describes is me all over and so true, I met a girl at a social group around four years ago that I have never forgotten but she was more attracted to a friend of mine who was much more confident. She tried with me but because I was more anxious and unsure of myself she quickly became disinterested. I had to walk away in the end. A pity because I really liked her.
Kick her to the curb. You're better off without her. Sure, you might not feel so confident around some girls, but that's okay, bro. Plenty of women out there. Any girl who wants you on your best game 100% of the time is worthless anyway. I recently had that happen to me at a church. She was interested because I was withdrawn. Then she coaxed me out of my shell, and now flat out ignores me. I never trusted her, so my gut was warning me. I might have had more respect for her if she simply told me, "No thank you, I'm not interested." But she didn't even do that. Just ignores me at church now. I dodged a massive bullet there, and so did you. Don't beat yourself up over girls that are always looking for the next best thing. Remember, they're single for a reason.
Ignoring women worked best for me. Everywhere I go, I either would get approached, a number handed out, a compliment or some odd conversation starter (keep in mind I am doing something completely unrelated and not even seeking out women). So while I have the opposite problem, women just keep coming at me at random times and I am not even remotely interested.
once most men get past their 20s, all this time and energy they spent trying to impress women or be a "catch" and self-doubt begins to fade and he can then be free to live a life for himself and others. It's so nice.
After 30s imo but very true
I never worried much about impressing women in the very conscious way some men do, but I did somewhat subconsciously feel bound to please them. It was as if I never had permission to please myself rather than whatever random female happened to be standing next to me at any given time. In some ways I didn't even allow myself to think the thoughts or feel the feelings I had floating around inside me. I cut myself off from own reality to avoid displeasing them! Now that I'm in my thirties, have been married for several years and have kids, I have this ever-growing freedom from all that. It's like, wow, okay, this or that woman can have this or that opinion about me or how men should be, but that's okay, because I don't care all that much any more. I can actually be myself and I don't put random women on pedestals any more. There's a lot of sadness, though, for myself and for all the boys and men out there whom I perceive to be cutting themselves off from themselves just as I used to do (much, much more than I do now). Your self -- for lack of a better way to put it -- is too intimate and valuable a thing to just surrender to others without so much as a peep of defiance. If anyone out there ever reads this and finds that anything I've said resonates, my wish for you is that you take yourself back and never, ever betray yourself and your fellow man like that again.
Just turned 34 and realized this within past year or so. I just don’t really care anymore. I’ll take care of and improve on myself, but not bending over backwards for a woman. They need to work on themselves as well.
It's after 30s not 20s
I agree. I'm 26 and kind of past most of my partying days and it's amazing how confidence just comes. Like I was such an awkward teen into my early 20s but now I'm who I am and love it. I'm perfectly confident in being myself. Age brings confidence as well as wisdom.
*In a generation riddled with anxiety, it boggles my mind that for as much we condemn male insecurity, no one seems to have a cure for it other than say just don't be. Imagine going to the doctor and having them say "just stop being sick."*
The way I've improved my insecurities is to Work at being better each day. Gym, Reading, Journaling, counseling etc.
This list is just stupid and it's terrible advice for men. I honestly can't believe how popular this bullshit is on the internet. I can't even imagine a worse mindset to give men who are trying to get better with women. Dude's basically saying that any sign of insecurity will turn a woman off. Well, even if it's true, it's just another thing to be insecure about. It would be like trying to put out a fire by pouring gas on it.
There is a way, people talk about it all the time. Do hard shit, work to overcome weaknesses and become competent at things you either fall short on that you feel are holding you back or double down on things you are naturally good at. What a self defeating mindset you have. It’s evident you have absolutely no control over your own mind. No wonder you’re insecure and anxious. You’re not competent enough at anything worthy to be otherwise. Keep complaining on social media bro that’ll really turn your life around 🤦
I hope most people appreciate authenticity. I would imagine that if one would be authentic about his/her insecurities that the person realises that he/she should work on that. I think if our society would put less emphasis on being in a relationship rather than working on being authentic and that it is ok to be insecure (because, again, I believe that by acknowledging it and working through it you might be able to get rid of it).
If I remember correctly Narcissists care a lot about status. So if we don't want our society to become more and more narcissistic, being honest and authentic should be valued more rather than hiding insecurities because they are soooo unattractive...
Hope I didn't repeat myself too often^^ would love to read some responses.
@@marcolaich994 most Americans have some level of Narcissistic behaviors. We all want to be perceived in certain ways. There comes a point where being honest with others about our flaws is necessary and rare. Social media is just adding to our narcissism.
Never put any woman on a pedestal. Treat them like a star and they'll treat you like a fan. Be yourself…if they don't like who you are then move on. Millions of other women out there to choose from.
Bingo
100% TRUE... THE BIGGEST MISTAKE I EVER MADE ON DATING WAS TRY HARD TO IMPRESS & PUTTING THEM ON A PEDESTAL...🙄🙄🙄
Every time I say this, a bunch of simps gang me, saying things like "there's nothing wrong with improving yourself". To be honest, growing up poor and being the only person in my family to ever have a college degree, I don't think I did too bad of a job.
Don't live for women. Pursue your path. Skirt-chasing is a waste of your time, energy and resources, even though it's harmless.
These are my words, my friend. Its an good advice that Courtney would give to us. But thats her perspective. Be yourself guys, have your life under control, be confidence what you do and what you succeded. If couples womens dont want ya, no deal there comes the person who's going to like you.
The cure for insecurity appears magically when a guy realizes that worrying about what women think is mostly
a waste of time. Just relax and live your life.
Yup. Wheter she likes you or not is up to her. Just be yourself and see where it goes.
@@rauminen4167 yeah tried that... went south real quick, ofc it was a huge mistake on my part
@@01iverQueen Good. It's much better to figure out FAST if you're not compatible, so you can start looking elsewhere.
@@rauminen4167 the thing is I don't want to lose her, I think if I change my negativity/pessimism I would attract her again. She was perfect in every way as I'm very picky when I'm looking at women for some reason, every check box has to be marked for me
@@01iverQueen Sounds to me she's busy dodging the bullet there - for the second one at least.
You can't really blame someone for not wanting to "get attacked again".
Probably should think about ticking some boxes on your own porch before looking at anybody else's.
Having low intelligence definitely helps with confidence. That’s why people drink in social settings. Thinking can be detrimental.
IQ sucked, EQ fine
Dunning Kruger effect.
Well, to be someone like Christiano Ronaldo, you need both high IQ and high EQ. Do you really think he would have won against soooooooo many players without being able to think like a master chess player ? (Hint: physically strong soccer guys with mental retardation get red flags faster than a 6 year old grabs his first lolly at primary school)
It’s true, sometimes my special need students are the most confident of all. Still, to be able to lead a Team, you need to be intelligent in almost every way.
Because thinking is hard. Most people judge
I spent many years masking my personality to "fit in" instead of being my best authentic self. Took me 40 years to finally get that. And if you don't like who you are, then change it. Change your life, change your friends, change your diet, etc
I'm okay with the way I am, but girls aren't okay with that.
I saw a quote once I really really like.
”When you get old you become the person you always should have been.”
Oh how I wish I was 18 years again with the knowledge and confidence I have now.
What you should have been could be defined if you maintained the habits of your younger self
but its not sound as there is to much that influences a change in path and habit especially now with
our social media addictions.
If you had the confidence and knowledge when you were 18 like you do now then you wouldn't be who you are now, life is a journey and everyone is on their own path, you can however change the influence of your path and how you be and become by learning, being open, and discovering the causes of your own ignorance.
The past is not what defines us, rather its the present choices and actions we take in the current moment that creates our experience it dictates who we are and who we become, becoming isn't a level,
its an the evolution of you.
Just be happy you are you, i do agree with you, i do would also have wished i had the confidence like i do now then but it wouldn't have been realistic, the people you were surrounded by then, the level of education be it from your own reading, learning, schooling, study or what have you, or people that mentored you be it a program or a system like the military etc,.
If you wanted to know how you would have turned out when you were 18, you would need to observe your habits and interests and the people that were around you, change those two things, and your current self would probably have been different, ever hear of the saying "you become who you surround yourself with"
Thing is, it takes a lifetime to be the person you want to be.
That's a great quote and very true.
There are lots of people within that age range who needs to know what you know now.
Youth is wasted on the young
I watched this video with total confidence, just being my true self, maintaining eye contact with Courtney, making her laugh occasionally with my great sense of humor...I think we really hit it off.
From your comment i can say whats i am going to see in this video
Kezia Noble and Bobby Rio are also great dating coaches whenever I want something more specific.
ahahahahahahahahahahaha
😂 Lol
Yeah, I think she really likes you.
I love how soft spoken you are , I hate shouting and the way you project your voice just works for me any day✅
Agreed. She has a very attractive voice.
I found in my own experience that the vast majority of women, who I try to speak to and approach, are you usually the ones who are boring and can't carry a conversation. Another thing I noticed is that usually all the pretty girls or the hot girls can't carry conversations because they are used to men doing all the talking for them. Lastly, one other thing I've noticed is all of the pretty girls and the hot girls give the weakest sex. Their sex game is weak because they're used to having men do everything for them.
On the other hand I have found that the women who are the least attractive or who are maybe average looking or slightly below average looking give the best sex and can carry the best conversations.
Exactly. It's definitely worth the trade off. Just get a decent looking woman you find attractive. Leave them "bad bitches" "im a queen" chicks alone , just asking for trouble. Lol
100% facts! I aim for 8s. I've hooked up with 10s who were 1s in bed and who were straight up boring always on their phone or doing their make-up basically a self-absorbed personality. 8s are a good balance of personality and overall good time. lol
Looking in the wrong places . I’ve had tens and 5s both great in bed and both bad in bed. It’s not looks of a woman it’s how YOU make her feel.
@@jjw3956 I have had tens that were not bad in bed but what I'm saying is the majority of the hottest women can't carry conversations and they just lay in bed like a Carl's Jr star contributing very minimal to sex. I think coach Greg Adams said it the best when he said the hottest women have to make very minimal effort to talk to men and they have to make zero effort to get sex because men are always the one after them for that and they have to initiate it. Less attractive women and ugly women usually put in more effort and work a little bit harder to attract men because I guess you can say they have a disadvantage over hot women so they have to engage more with men to get sex or to have a conversation with.
God I hate it when a girl just basically lays there and expects you to do everything. Theyll even get annoyed if you want them to ride cowboy because it means they have to put forth some effort and do some work.
Dating 101: Take to path of least resistance: If you feel any kind of resistance, just move on to the next one. It may take a few iterations, but you will find the one who likes you for you with none of the BS and drama.
The key is to basically turn your brain off to prevent any overthinking and literally just be in the moment. Easier said than done but with like anything it's easier with practice
Explain
@@Nickoboss29 Be in the moment. Dont think. Be yourself if you even retained that ability.
Most honest UA-camr on here. Courtney is very attractive but doesn’t rely on that. She’s equally critical of men and women and seems to understand the dynamics of dating in today’s day and age. Big respect to you, Courtney.
This is the best compliment! Thank you so so much 🥺
Lmao shut up
About her genuine authentic persona its true
I almost made a mistake tryin to date her until i was a little too good in observancy ive noticed this beautiful Venus goddes is taken...
🤣She has a BF....
Yet my apologies to Courtney.
🤘😈🤘 Signed your trully the deathmetal undertaker from Tilburg Netherlands
@@CourtneyRyan how does it fee being orbited by simps?
I agree with Courtney that this whole testing thing that content creators go on about is not healthy. If you think your going to be tested you have already lost the game. It's about getting to know each other and if there is compatibility. It's about being curious about each other, learning from and about each other.
A breath of fresh air to listen to someone so level headed
It is refreshing to find normal people talking in a calm way about these things. It says a lot about the confidence of the presenters, that they don't feel obliged to "spice up" the content. Keep it up Courtney!
This is ludicrous ! Dating used to be so simple. You like each other, go on a date, laugh, have fun, talk about interesting things.
Nowadays it turns out to be whole science.
Zionists and communists have twisted society and made people into mentally ill narcissists hence why you need videos to try and understand them.
the market is way different than back then
Yeah, and extremism is on the rise as well.
This is what extreme feminism has done
It always was complicated. It's foolish nostalgia to imagine otherwise.
1 sign of insecurity: trying to construct or fine-tune your personality so that it would maximally appeal to women -- because you need validation from them in order to feel you have value.
This comment wins the section
Please the lord, not hoes
Boom. Wish I knew this in my 20s
Yeah. You cant control the result, only the action.
Get your validation the HARD way - from SOCIETY. THAT's what builds value.
So woman gets away with insecurities, but men don’t
Basically. And they contradic themselves. They want you to be always nice to them but another time they don't like it
Because we allow them to.
many women are narcissists, they have been chased and put on pedestals all their live, little consequence, perfect way to make a narcissist.
Yes. Therr are two genders and we have assymetrical roles, requirements, struggles, strengths and weaknesses. Men don't need to be protected, men protect. Only a confident man can protect a woman (at least that is what the female insticts say).
This is good, embrace the challenge, get better, be a patriarch.
This is why I watch Courtney, she’s not a dating coach out to make a bunch of money. Her advice is spot on and she keeps things real. I highly recommend following her. Keep up the great videos ❤️
You’re the best! Thank you 🥺
@@CourtneyRyan your most welcome 🙂
Oh she’s making money. Off you simps lmao.
@@CourtneyRyan isn’t your boyfriend supposed to be the best????
@@Filthy_Larry Do you understand the term "figurative"? I figure you don't, given your propensity to try and belittle others and troll.
If she's making money off of "Simps" what does that make you giving her views? Also why are you here? lmao "simp". Before you even try and label me a simp, I've paid for nothing - so get your head out of your ass.
She's being nice, dude. Just try it. Won't kill you I promise.
Great video Courtney! You’re definitely helping a lot of men with your intelligent, female perspective on these issues. You have an excellent grasp of the topic. BTW, regarding testing: Some women do it intentionally, but all women do it instinctively and many without even realizing it. Most women won’t refer to it as a test though, of course. As you mentioned, it’s more like you figuring a guy out and seeing if you are a match. A test is simply a common label used for that kind of behavior during an interaction, or during the dating phases. Tests (or checking to see if you are still compatible, to use your word) are also used in relationships. Once again, great video! All the best. Cheers, Dan 👍
Yes!!
Dan, you have the most incredible insight of anyone. Well beyond the common topics I've noticed. I have been really liking this lady's videos as well. I hope she chooses to respond to your comment.
100%. Women have a hard time admitting they do this but it’s so clear that they do. There are various degrees of tests and each woman is different, but they all do it. This is a blind spot for Courtney, but maybe she can grow even more if she does some more introspection on the topic.
Everyone tests when meeting anyone. Guys test girls to see if they are loyal and won't sleep around.
hi Jesus Christ Loves Acts 2:38 UPCI church locator type that into the internet
Cheat Sheet (watch the video for elaboration)
1. Can't Maintain Eye Contact (Casually, not a Staring Contest) - She Confirms.
2. Being Lost for Words and Appearing Nervous/Unsure/Flustered - She Confirms.
3. Self Doubt (How Could She Like a Guy Like Me/Him) - She Confirms (+don't Pedestal Women)
4. Lack of Confidence in Communication (Hesistation, Low Volume, Halfhazard Opinions) - She Confirms. (+Have Boundaries)
5. Afraid to Express True Personality (Acting) - She Confirms (+Be the Best YOU, not someone else)
6. Giving Away His Power to Her (Becoming her follower) - No Comment from CCR.
7. Trying to Impress (in a Superficial Way) - She Confirms
8. Displaying Tense/Nervous Body Language - CCR wants Clarification
9. Unable to Pass Simple Confidence Tests - She Confirms (caveat - it tends to happen naturally but you shouldn't NEED to test your S/O)
Really sad how a lack of confidence/shyness on the part of men is so stigmatised.
Patriarchy, so it's ok. Can't blame 'em 🤷♂
@@big_varts Women rejecting and punishing men for having feelings is "patriarchy?"
@@etaaramin9361 in eyes of some people, everything is caused by patriarchy, or other umbrella terms. Just ignore them.
Its just natrue. Don't take it personally. I stopped crying about women nature and started trying to be a better man and have a better life. In turn that attracts women. Women just are biologically attracted to confident men. It gives assurance this man can protect and provide for them.
It depends on what the dude looks like tbh.
If the shy dude is handsome & fit, they're given the benefit of the doubt.
So basically you gotta be superman lol and you can't have any vulnerabilities. Man it's hard being a guy in today's dating market but it's not entirely impossible. We don't have anyone tell us right from wrong until recently. The best advice i got was to pretend that the girl already likes me when talking to her and it actually does ease your nerves a bit. Cuz the girl wouldn't be talking to me if she didn't like me somewhat. This guy had great points even tho it's my first time hearing about him. Anyways have a great weekend and congratulations on 200K subscribers ♥️😊👍
You know what? I think we are all humans. So on, we have all flaws.
By being authentic means in my opinion, stay to your flaws. If u can take your flaws with a smile on your face, thats confidence.
Im 100% sure, only toxic woman want a superman who is just pretending to be perfect. But no one is. Not even the most beautiful girl in the world
@@uwekirschner187 you have a great point especially that part about owning up to your flaws but not dwelling on them either. The good thing is, there's always room to improve and be better.
While i understand your point, I've been there myself, just don't give up man. Life is a marathon not a race. Put to practice everything this side of the internet has to offer so you can properly prepare your future kids or nephews/cousins for life and dating.
@@casualgerm you're right and i appreciate your perspective on this topic. I definitely try to use what i learn to help others avoid the mistakes i have made
Always ask do you.. . on your first date.. that always gets a girlfriend
So basically men have to be perfect in every way…
Nah just have some self confidence that you've built for yourself.
That's correct. That's why keeping a wife happy for a long time is a very difficult job.
I think this video is not about being perfect, but being yourself, i.e. being confident when accepting yourself with all your weaknesses and strengths.
@@2happyknightwe can not show out weakness to women. They will run. Said in this video as well and all I've ever experienced.
You just have to get to a spot where you are comfortable with who you are and don't care what others think about that. That, my friend, is the confidence and security you seek
Actually I was just thinking about this the other day. Insecurity can be good or bad depending on the context. Insecurity can be good if it motivates you to make changes. If I'm insecure about my weight it will make me motivated to workout more, if I'm insecure about my style it will motivate me to dress better, insecure about my writing, take steps to get better. Obviously there are ways insecurity can manifest itself negatively, such as approaching a woman, or jealous but it doesnt always have to be viewed as a negative.I dont think being confident and secure if your overweight, dressed like a scrub, smell etc. is a good thing. I'm not saying you should hate yourself, but you should be able to self-reflect and be self-critical, and yes feel insecure.
This is such a good point!
@@CourtneyRyan Muchas Gracias!
It isn't about the insecurity, it's about what you do with it.
The same applies to failure.
You know what, I've suffered from crippling insecurity my whole life. I'm married and have a great relationship with my wife. Don't worry about this crap. You're always going to be insecure about something;_ that's the human condition. If you meet a woman who thinks she's above all that, well... if you wind up staying with her, you'll have your work cut out for you.
Women are never attracted to emotional insecurity, never.. they might say they respect that just to portray themselves as good persons, but they will run out of a marriage if the guy shows signs of any emotional insecurity or anything of that sort
Things men look for in women: Attractive, kind, honorable.
Women's requirements for men:... EVERYTHING!
Women's requirements are so lofty that they don't realize how they're pushing good men away. Feminism has burned the relationships people have and has made women far more intimidating because they are attacking men with their words constantly. The positive things I hear from a woman are around 1 a month, whereas media, culture, etc. all condemn men over the slightest thing. Women have burned a ton of great men just because they don't realize the abusive taunts men are bombarded will every day in this culture. If women were to show some feminine kindness, maybe men would be less afraid... because in this culture, say one thing too far and you're gonna be condemned as a predator.
😅 I'm doomed. Nothing i can do to fix things, so I'm just going to stick with eating my vitamins and saying my prayers, work out to relieve the mental anguish cause im the kind of guy this video is talking about. 😆 gosh im so screwed. No point, i give up 😆
@@dockmajor7236 Good. Now that you gave up, talk to women like you're not trying to "pick them up" - because as you said there's no point. See what happens.
@@rauminen4167 in the past i never tried talking to them like i was picking them up. I've always treated them like they were people with personalities and feelings as your supposed to. Picking up and game have never been my thing but thanks for the advice
Women want a nice guy but at the same time they are only attracted by those who are bad boys or in other words almost treat them badly, so women themselves create men they don't like in the end... How does that make any sense
Men aren’t afraid they’re tired and don’t want to waste energy on any modern women that’s why modern women are all single and will die alone it’s just a matter of fact men are the prize not women women need to know they’re replaceable act up replaced don’t cook replaced don’t clean replaced don’t pleasure her man replaced start drama replaced women need to do everything to get a man while men stand by and do nothing while women do everything to please them
Courtney is a refreshing reminder of the pure value that an honest, intelligent, & (seemingly;) altogether beautiful woman can bring to the table! 👏
Certainly an encouragement to those of us who may have learned the hard way
(many of us who have drastically undervalued ourselves !)
Been following Dan Bacon and Coach Corey Wayne for a while, and their dating advice have positively changed the way I am. Following your videos and hearing advice from the female perspective is the best way to complete a well rounded individual. Keep it up 💯.
My man, dan is a goon. The only legitimate coach in my book is Coach Lee
Is Corey Wayne legit ? I thought I saw him say you should read his 3% Man book 15 times or else you are not doing it right. It seemed like a red flag to me.
Being free from caring what other people think of you is real liberation. Care about what you think of yourself. Allow others to think of you however they wish. You can't control that anyway
I can sum this up in one statement.; be who you are and speak your mind. If anyone, romantic interest or friend, doesn't like it. Not your problem.
Thank you Courtney for helping me continue to realize that any girl is human just like me, we all have our flaws and strengths, and the sky is truly the limit!
I don't think that you know the value of this kind of videos courtney; they're precious, I like it very much.
I’m so glad to hear it! Thank you for the feedback 🥰
Every time I hear the words "a girl doesn't like a guy who..." just makes me feel more anxious and insecure. Being single and not having to jump through all these hoops just to be perceived as a "cool" guy to a girl is wayyy less stressful.
So life is safer when you don’t try and fail at anything. 🤔 come on bro, it’s a game. I don’t like it either, but not acknowledging what it is and choosing to be blind to it won’t do you any favors. You got this bro.
You’re fine. The message we get from society is “you have to be super confident and have no insecurities or women won’t like you”. In reality, it’s sort of out of your control. I’ve been amazed at how women could still like me some times even if I don’t act that confident. Accept yourself as you are. You don’t have to be the most secure person in the world to find love.
There are lots of normal women that can manage a guy with some insecurities bc they know life and shit. That doesn't mean to be a Peter pan. Just get your life straight and learn what's really important. That's what good women want. And not to act a special way or say something special or what ever. Bc when you get your act together all you are looking for is a women that fits into your life and vice versa. Both don't play games. And if they do they're out. Simple.
My boyfriend is sometimes shy and anxious and insecure but i love and care about him. I'm not perfect either and I'm sometimes these things too. It's normal. You don't have to be perfect to be loved. Loving someone is about accepting them, the good and the bad. You are worthy of love too, as you are. There will never be a time when you finally become perfect and finally worthy of love, so don't wait for a moment that won't come, you are fine as you are. Go and live your best life
just dont pursue women
Trying to satisfy women's endless neurosis is an exhausting and ultimately futile game. Much better for a man to be himself with good values and leave it at that.
I enjoyed you complimenting him for the very reason I enjoy watching you. Calm, direct, rational and you give credit where it's due, which is all to your credit. Thank you, for you being you Courtney.
Great content. One thing I like to add/elaborate on: being emotionally strong doesn't mean being unkind or insensitive, in fact means you possess high EQ, and although you have emotions/feelings (we all do!) you're able to self-regulate. It's about maturity of thought and feeling. Many kind and nurturing people I know are emotionally strong. 👍❤️
regulation of your own emotions means they are not strong based and they are mobil.
so, mobile emotions means the person has no principles.
@@PandaJohns Excuse me, what? I think you have grossly misunderstood what self-regulation means.
High EQ? A high equalizer?? Hhaha
Unfortunately I have a great deal of these traits lol. My social anxiety doesn't help either. I guess I just have to take it one step at a time. Starting with eye contact lol. I'm just posting this to let other guys like me know that you're definitely not alone in the struggle. Thanks for the upload Courtney!
How goes your journey?
Bro read a few erotic book writen by womans, then chosse a character that you like to be and star texting girls, feeling like thah guy, off course not crazy nasty, just the confident attitude thel calm, you will see how it works and then you can mold your personally to be something that you like more, and not be that "Shy guy, bla bla", you are not that, it's just a bunch of habits of feelings and what you are jus to!
I can't imagine anything more disconcerting than realising I'm being tested while dating a woman. Well, no, I can imagine more disconcerting things but I feel like I'd still be very put off. Is that just me?
Isn't being tested what every day you wake up is all about?
Stalin and Ronald Reagan said "trust but verify".
I get that, kinda takes the enjoyment out of it when in the back of your mind its just ''is she testing me rn'' like whats the point honestly
A woman needs to test to see if you're stable enough for their crazy . A shit test means she's interested
@@raularmas317 I wouldn’t want to be with anyone who quotes Stalin and Reagan.
#1 Money. #2 Looks. ( Reverse if she is under 22 ).
That is about it. Have those things ? Then feel secure.
The more women you deal with and people in life the better your social skills will become. We all start at different points but you can work on yourself none the less.
I enjoy your videos and the reaction ones.
Only a handful of women I've ever had have had no conversational skills. It's unrealistic to think a man can continue a one way conversation.
Oh for sure. She has to be contributing too!
@@moonknight4053 Not attacking Courtney. It seems the days of social media has dumbed down conversation. In fact I am in a conversation based relationship and I am blown away, absolutely impressed to the max that this lady is putting forth equal effort. That should be normal, it's not.
Most women I've met if not all rarely contribute to the relationship.
It is easy to say to always be confident and not nervousbut it is anther thing to actually do it.
What I'm getting from this as well as from all of the "red pill" player channels out there is that true love doesn't exist, and the best you can hope to do is play these immature high school games long enough to win the manipulation game and have some transactional relationship for a while.
reason is most of the people are stuck in that mentality.....
so genuine guys are losing to guys who pretend they are amazing,.... that's why so many break ups after 6 months.....
Because it doesn't exist. Until insta tinder, party girls, player culture will die it will not exist.
Number 8 I understand what he's saying. Basically meaning coming off too serious and trying too hard, and pretty much being way too on guard. It comes off as creepy and even a bit disturbing and it's just going to make a girl feel uncomfortable and even scared of the guy.
Its a turn off in general. Even for making friends with people.
What if your naturally a really serious person?
@@centripetal6157 That's fine. You don't have much control over how you "come off" to people anyway.
Great video, Courtney! I would like to note that as someone with ADHD, I find myself lost for words/hesitating more often than I would like to admit. It's not necessarily because I'm anxious or I lack confidence, it's just that my brain lags like a 2005 Dell Latitude.
I can relate and lemme tell you. The key is to talk slowlyyyyy. Take your time and everything you say to her should be made to have meaning. Not only will this present you as less anxious but also smarter and laid back (cool)
I love your reaction to this video and it's great to hear a female's perspective on this. However, on a personal level, this list reads like me...not because I'm insecure, but rather because I am on the autism spectrum. I am aware this video wasn't made for people like me, but personally, I don't like that insecurity and autism have similar social traits. So, for guys like me, it puts me in a catch-22. Love your content and watch when I can during rare downtime.
Same, eye contact, well I have an uphill battle before I even start, I have to know someone very well before I can have eye contact.
Hey Brian, nevermind I am a Asperger (too) and we find our own way and maybe equal girls that like us without the need of acting/pretending, trying to be someone else, I prefer the most time being alone, less problems ( actually I have a girlfriend for sexually adventures and some other stuff, but I am unsure about her, it’s a bit frustrating...)
I've never understood the eye contact thing. As a person who's worked in security and law enforcement for years, it's hard to keep eye contact with anyone. I'm always watching my surroundings.
I went out on a date once before I met my wife. I met this girl on line and we agreed to meet at a restaurant. I got there a little early. Reserved the table and waited for her out front of the restaurant. When she arrived we exchanged pleasantries and the first thing she told me when we sat down at the table was that I wasn’t her type. I simple said ok no problem. But you can stay for dinner anyway if you like. We talked at dinner. It was ok but in the end I said nice to meet you and have a good night
I'm so happy about your achievement of 200k subscribers. You deserve ten times that. Thanks for doing this 👍
Thank you so much! 🥺
That's funny you said that because I had said that she's one-tenth of the way there to where she deserves to be as a minimum
Authenticity is key. Being comfortable in your own skin. Being interested in her. Don’t be a sucker for looks alone. Intelligence in my mind is much more important. Courtney, your videos are informative without being false like Marni the Wing Girl!
Marni does play a specific role on her channel, doesn't she? Courtney is definitely authentic.
@@KevvoLightswift Different audiences. Guys who want to hook up would have no interest in Courtney’s approach. Marni exudes sexuality.
Its hard being confident when ur nerdy, dont have much money, and not very good looking! I honestly gave up because its not even worth all the pain anymore and i feel so much happier just learning to be alone
Dan changed my life! Please do MORE videos about him. I'll appreciate it.
I am 31 which I still feel young af but realize that overthinking will mess you up, work on yourself then it'll work itself out, and seek those who compliment your lifestyle.
31 its not young af dude, your life its passing by and you not even noticing
@@PlanetaJuegosPC I notice it every day yet I still feel young and know I have to make some changes within myself, which I monitor and ask why did I do so and so and adjust. how old are you?
I encourage all my bro’s reading this to listen to Dan Bacon the 🐐. His stuff will change your life.
Best thing someone ever said to me about women that changed my life "A woman either likes you or she doesn't, period!
That's helped me out a lot too. I used to always try too hard to impress girls with conversations, then when I took this advice, it got a lot easier. Sometimes you find a match, and sometimes you don't.
@@ramiroguerrero8413 Exactly! There are times a woman would like a man even if he shows no interest, and completly ignore the schmuck that's using all the P.U.A. tricks in the book to get her to like him. "She either likes you or she doesn't." That's all you need to know.
@@guillermogouldburn763 Another thing that helped me out as well was not being afraid of getting rejected. It happens. You just have to stay positive and move on.
@@ramiroguerrero8413 Yes, that's actually a very mature and intelligent attitude. Unless you look like a young Brad Pitt don't expect every girl to respond positively to your advances, and move on if she doesn't. Don't act like a simp.
The basic truth of the matter
Dan bacon Corey Wayne and AMS are my favorite for advice.
Dan Bacon teaches the foundations of attraction
Corey Wayne work helps when you are in a relationship keeping the attraction and looking at the reality of things.
Ams shows human nature and exposes everything that women do in private and how SOME women slide behind your back and do evil things
Thank you for this video. I've always struggled with self confidence and eye contact. I think it's because I was made fun of my appearance growing up and it has always stuck with me. I just got to really try to master these abilities and believe women will respond positively. There's no point in being insecure about my looks and displaying that insecurity in my interactions - it's only making things way worse for me.
This is a very great video and I couldn’t stop laughing when Courtney said “that is wack!” Also Courtney, I know I’m like 2 months late on this response but your question about the guy having a tense and nervous look on his face and body language is pretty self explanatory because he did mention that he could be doing this out of concern that she’ll lose interest in him which can be true if he’s operating in a scarcity mindset. This can also be true if a Woman has tons of options which is usually the case. Dan Bacon also mentioned that a man will be nervous or concerned if he doesn’t pass her confidence tests or what I like to call her sh*t tests.
Dan doesn't need anyone to react to or validate his work. He's excellent.
The issues arise when some things that matter to men out of boundaries and comfort are instead turned into insecurities because women feel like it affects their freedom to act like single women. This works the other way too, but is not projected as commonly.
7:02 - Agreed. Females just love some conflict. It's a [twisted] form of a challenge to them.
He mentioned multiple times about men and emotional insecurity or weakness turn women off. I was hoping you would address that directly. I believe a man can be emotionally open with a woman and not be weak.
He is dishing out some nonsense. To be in a relationship you have to be emotionally open and vulnerable
Unfortunately, it is a turn-off to see a man not in control of his emotions. For example, being stoic with a single tear is a lot more attractive than a man breaking down like a blithering baby.
@@nicksmith-cx1fx then tell that to the women who always leave the man after they open up
There lay the difference between insecurity and open emotionally. When you’re insecure you don’t come right out and say it when you’re trying to attract a woman but when you have a more intimate relationship only then can you open up about your vulnerabilities but even then the idea is to open up and improve yourself rather than continuing to be insecure and expecting everyone to just tolerate your weakness
Yeah, too much vulnerability is not a good thing. This is why spending time discovering yourself is important. You'll begin to see that asking your woman for solutions or a shoulder to cry on is about the last thing any guy should do.
More important than anything, be attractive. If you've ever been attractive, that's to say you've felt how that works inside you and you saw how people around you responded, remember that. The more you concern yourself with what women want from you the less you're able to deliver. Everything you need is in you, as a man, you literally have everything you need but I think people are looking for answers in women which has it's value but it's not the core. When a woman pops on a little sun dress, light makeup, go out with her girlfriends, she's animating a spirit. She's not just physically attractive but she's radiating the evening sun and she feels it. As men, well, for me, I am literally the opposite. I'm a little intimidating, rugged, stable yet a little unpredictable. I don't seek to "show those traits" but I feel a certain way. I'm also extremely warm. I aim to entertain myself and by extension those around me. I want to see what will happen. I want to know what that woman in the sun dress sounds like. What's her laugh like? Is she wearing underwear? So in that situation I immediately become more attractive. However attractive I may have been before gets amplified and inevitably she's going to look at me, get closer to me, linger around me, speak in a way that's clearly meant to be heard by people beyond who she's looking at. Her body language gets lofty, dainty, lax, she's trying to be seen and heard and this runs parallel to my own amplification. So the way I move my hands gets her attention, the way I walk, the tone of my voice, my slight squint, how my mouth works, my jaw, everything. I know how to show muscle without flexing, strength without pushing, presence without invading. Vibes go back and forth for a while before any actual contact is made it almost starts to feel assumed. As I always say, as a man, if you aren't physically strong at least to some degree you're not going to be able to put the vibe out. You need to know what that feels like, without it you're severely hampering the male experience. You need to be able to control your body and your environment in a clean way. Women have their base of operations, their sense, their way of putting the vibe out and we do too. Some of us go hard on vibrato some of us are cool and collected. I tell you though, we're all curious. We all want to know what that pretty girl looks like up close and we want to know if she's half of what she's putting out.
Reason why relationships fall apart is because love ends up one sided all the time. I’m starting to realize how good it is to be single and that I don’t have to worry about someone else cause chances are it’s always going to be one sided. So glad I’m a twin that’s all I really need in this world. Unless I find a girl who actually cares I won’t really care anymore
...and once you find one and start caring again, she'll lose interest...
The only actual solution I've found is to work on yourself until you have the highest market value you can, and then date HUGELY down. If you're an 8/10 guy, find a 4/10 woman. That way you'll have a woman who cares and won't lose interest, because she knows she can't do better.
Yeah I know, it sounds nuts, but if you're an 8/10 guy then even 6/10 chicks will leave you if one day you breathe wrong, or do something else that annoys her a tiny bit.
he really showed me how to be emotionally mature with his book and his videos. After a while you notice a pattern and you know what to do.
Another genuinely sincere, beautiful,sweet, young woman who is transparent. What a treasure and a rarity. You are literally a gem of great value.
Dan bacon and Corey Wayne are by far the best dating coaches for men on the Internet. Both have their own methods but both are good in their own way. I find Dan’s maintaining a relationship methods work better while Corey’s methods of getting a girlfriend and initial attraction worked for me VERY well.
Corey has good dating advice, but he starts talking too much politics in his videos. I’ve moved on. I hear enough of that everywhere else
I think Courtney would make an excellent clinical psychologist. Great self awareness, equity and understanding of human behaviour allied to high level communication skills, self disclosure and empathy and a desire to help people be the best they can be.
you wouldn't be saying that if she were fat
Yeah Habsom it nice meeting you here I’m sharon
I gave up on finding love some time ago. I have always been insecure. And never really learned how to react around women. Yet my best friends throughout my adult life have all been women. Oh well.
All revolves around women, what they like/want. And what guys want?
Sex, food, and peace
The five big ways men are insecure in my experience
1.Bragging
2.Explaining yourself like why you have a certain opinion
3.Overcompensating (height,money)
4.Trying too hard
5. Doing what Fresh from Fresh and Fit ,when you try to project an image that doesn’t match who you are.Myron and Fresh ARENT ‘playas’ that women are drolling over yet they act like they are George Clooney or something.
I Wonder how Courtney feels about these 5.
😂
@@dillsanders1046 loser
What’s so insecure about explaining why you have a particular opinion?
@@nanobyte5567 because if you offer your answer without being asked, you can come off as seeking approval. If she asks you, then you're in position of DHV
I have gotten to the point where I really don’t care any longer and it has opened up my dating world have options
I love that your reactions are so chill and well spoken
I always leave your channel feeling happy and healthy. A beautiful woman with a soft voice and great advise. I love watching your channel Ms. Courtney. I hope only the best for you and Ben.
This should really be considered a listical for women to learn how they limit their own options based on inaccurate assumptions and self-limiting expectations.
You're always a class act Courtney's and absolutely love your counterpoints to Dan and also giving him props as well really a interesting stream today ⭐✌️
For all the young guys out there. I suggest reading "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius and incorporating many of his stoic philosophies. In addition, "The Way of The Superior Man" by David Deida
and Viktor Frankl's "Man's Search for Meaning" are some great reads.
Excellent suggestions
Also,,, highly respected Australian Authors. Sir Rodney Rude..and Kevin Bloodie Wilson with their books on Men of these Times.
King, warrior, magician, Lover- by Moore and Gillette.
This is especially relevant to insecurities as this text is seen thru the psychoanalytic lens of Jungian concepts if anybody is familiar with the shadow.
It's becoming super helpful for me as I am into pyschology but I can already tell in the first 30mins it's a book that's about all walks of man and his ego and how we can be overcome by it.
Highly recommend
ua-cam.com/video/QjBGacUD-5k/v-deo.html
Also the book of five rings (miyamoto musashi) and dokkodo
Don't forget Robert E Howard's Conan series. No joke.
I personally am in my 50's and truly do not give a .... about how women see me or what they think of me 😂😂😂. Never felt better about myself. So I tell young men to do well for themselves.....not for others. Put yourself first and never ever listen to a woman on what you should be or become or act like. That's a road to perdition. I know
I say one thing and I know it's hard to believe. but it all comes down to energy you give her. the invisible attraction (energy) she doesn't look at length money or looks right away. it's the vibe you radiate
My energy is my main power to attract women. Women can feel certain things most men can’t. I’ve flirted and turned women on with simple intense eye contact, and I can feel their sexual energy beaming my way. It can be awkward in the wrong setting like the store or something.
"Don't overly brag about your past achievements or the things you have."
I'm thinking one should talk about the things and activities they like to do and plan on doing more of. Maybe not carving match sticks but getting out and about with one's active interests. Going somewhere and doing something while there would be interesting to a prospective date.
For the next use english please.
Most of these really boil down to low self-esteem, lack of self-confidence, and thinking he's not good enough. Unfortunately, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm generally confident in myself, and I can talk to women just fine, but I also don't approach women because I don't chase and so most women just ignore me, or assume I lack confidence because I won't approach them.
“Me literally just breathing*
Her: ewwwwww
Courtney, random thing, but maybe at some point you might want to consider making a masterclass. I think the content you make is always very helpful and obviously it all ties in together. I know things like fashion and dating advice won’t be 100% applicable in every situation, but after watching so many of your videos, I always really enjoy how you mention those caveats and also try and point out the intentions of what those actions say about who you are over the specifics of your preferences. It’s really strong advice and I could see you and possibly several of your other creator friends pulling the info together and ironing out a really great curriculum. Just a thought. Thanks anyway for everything!
So basically, if you want to maintain a "relationship" with a woman, never, EVER stop putting on a show. Fake your entire personality. Never relax, never let your guard down. God help you if you experience a negative emotional state - shut that down, bury & hide it. Forever. 🤦♂️
Congratulations. You have just discovered to origin of every male trait deemed "toxic masculinity"
there is one way: you should not care about what women wants and thinks. If she leave you while you are the most valuable - her falult and her loss. Just be who you are. There is one sad part - even if women love you - and will support you in difficult moments this won't last long. You will need at some point keep your emotions and negative feelings inside - and if you lucky - share with freinds.
Just be yourself - if you’re nervous say you’re nervous - that’s confidence in yourself and your feelings. You can also show you can be self deprecating in a more humorous way… It works for me, especially on first dates
Good way to stay single ma dude
Fuck being yourself. That doesn’t work. Instead be the person you want others to see you as.
i agree with the just be yourself. always works for me. but dont say what you feel lol thats a big mistake. just feel it and be yourself and she will like that you are confident in yourself and how you are. women can sense genuine behaviour. its like a superpower. they just know if you are acting liek yourself.
theres a time to open up. its after you had for example a great date, and you both go home adn you know she was feeling you. she seems happy. she texts you i had a great time. THIS IS THE TIME TO SAY SOMETHING LIKE 'you know you really looked gorgeous tonight.' she is primed and ready to recieve a big compliment. with woman its always about timing. you can say sometihng at the wrong time and it totally backfires but you can say the same thing at the right time and it works like magic.
I always point this out, you cant be confident if you always fail.
Dan Bacon has great advice. He’s also the only person out there giving relationship advice. Whole lotta vids on how to meet and talk to girls but not very much on what to do once you have a girl.
For your male insecurities, I think the movie Waiting with Ryan Reynolds covers this perfectly. The character Calvin is a perfect example of insecure.
I have struggled with anxiety all my life, I'm 57 years of age, I was doing ok when I was doing my passion in life, but when I lost it, I got fired because I felt like I was standing up for myself. After I got fired I have been in a deep depression for about 12 years now. I have lost my self esteem and self confidence in life and with women, I'm on disability now.
But even if I am depressed the rest of my life I still feel like I am a worthwhile guy and can still meet someone special. It is what I believe. It is what I pray for.
Everyone has infinite worth! Keep going! Even if it’s hard, know that pretty much every human understands to a degree. We all go through trials in life. I will pray for you!
you will of course! Good luck 🤞
For a man with major depressive disorder like myself, this is very discouraging. It’s already dark, now I have to worry about my wife being turned off due to my depression symptoms. I hate being a guy. I really hate it.
Get into martial arts your depression will be gone above all else it is a place for structure self control and you become apart of a family it is not a sport it is a way of life and it is a well structured support system. I’m former military and needed that outlet for energy and complex thoughts once I came home when I had that set up for me everything that followed in my life became better and without effort. Include the wife in martial arts as it is a really good family environment. I study Kyokushin and am registered in Japan as a martial artist I can go into a dojo in whatever country I am visiting and pick up my training right where I left off it is a global organization. Dojo leaders serve as a guide in your daily life and will always be there for you no matter what.
Get a sex change
Great video. The opposite version of this is a fun time, too. Fear of rejection and fear of commitment are the top two on that list.
Show no weakness, stand your ground. Be tough as steel, with abundance and high energy.
I don't care. Who are these people anyway. Be yourself and enjoy life.
What i like the most about Courtney's videos: no crazy constant jumpy editing. She's speaking to her audience in a natural, sincere way.
If a woman try to test me, I would leave with out question ⁉️ to let her think 🤔 what happened, what I do wrong to leave me? Sometimes work other not.
I’m getting married and every once in a while a girl will catch my eye and I wonder what if. Then I see a video like this and thank god I’m getting married. Screw all this, there’s nothing worse than a shy guy trying to act outgoing. Be yourself even if that means you’re sometimes emotionally weak. There’s others just like you.
I love your videos, Courtney. You offer a genuine, honest opinion of each topic and they have aided me immensely. Thank you.
A lot of what Dan describes is me all over and so true, I met a girl at a social group around four years ago that I have never forgotten but she was more attracted to a friend of mine who was much more confident. She tried with me but because I was more anxious and unsure of myself she quickly became disinterested. I had to walk away in the end. A pity because I really liked her.
Kick her to the curb. You're better off without her. Sure, you might not feel so confident around some girls, but that's okay, bro. Plenty of women out there. Any girl who wants you on your best game 100% of the time is worthless anyway. I recently had that happen to me at a church. She was interested because I was withdrawn. Then she coaxed me out of my shell, and now flat out ignores me. I never trusted her, so my gut was warning me. I might have had more respect for her if she simply told me, "No thank you, I'm not interested." But she didn't even do that. Just ignores me at church now.
I dodged a massive bullet there, and so did you. Don't beat yourself up over girls that are always looking for the next best thing. Remember, they're single for a reason.
Some ladies freak out if a man looks them in the eye call them creepy put them online as a creep and then that person's life is ruined.
Ignoring women worked best for me. Everywhere I go, I either would get approached, a number handed out, a compliment or some odd conversation starter (keep in mind I am doing something completely unrelated and not even seeking out women).
So while I have the opposite problem, women just keep coming at me at random times and I am not even remotely interested.
Are you a lesbian ?
@@catrashoo I am a male, but identify as non-binary.