If you continue to chase after a woman when it's clear she isn't interested, that's definitely creepy and borderline stalker-ish. However, a woman who doesn't like a guy yet gives him the impression that she's into him because she like the attention she's getting from him is a toxic and immature woman and is the type of woman that guys, rightfully so, have a problem with in the dating market.
and on the other side of the coin you have the women who like "the chase" or think playing hard to get is the appropriate way to interact with someone who likes them. honestly i think everyone should drop that like a boiling petri dish full of anthrax, whilst i understand the mentality its unfair to the men who cant mind read and the women who genuinely dont like someone.
I totally agree. And at the beginning, Courtney mentions us having a "fear of being seen as creepy" - there's no fear for me personally. It's literally understanding and accepting that the probability is stacked against us that a woman will do this kind of thing. Just not worth it anymore for sake of our mental health. I go off of chemistry and connection, if you're naturally put in a position of having a conversation and things hit off well. I don't randomly approach women anymore because I believe women have made this strategy obsolete.
Can be mixed: say it to their face, give em no retreat to bs around. Have a colleague that gave off not being interested, neither was i but we had multiple work interactions. She started poisoning the conversations we had, one time saying "you'll probably start hating me now" when we had an argument on a point. I called her out on her bs on a letter and in two different ones explained that i don't want to do anything with her. After a year we said it to each others face, yeah hindsight is 20/20, she started with "i think since i've been so nice to you you think i'm interested in you but i'm not". She was so "relieved" after i said i'm not interested in her either, the third time i did that. a year went by for her to understand that because i didn't say it to her face. oh and another point: She did not read my letters, she actually confessed that to me
Yeah one of my biggest fears is texting a woman and she looks down at her phone and rolls her eyes. I've definitely been that guy before and I ended up so embarrassed I think I stopped that behavior, but I still fear it lol
In case you're in a hurry: 1. She thinks you're unattractive (doesn't mean you aren't attractive to someone else) 2. She's uninterested and you continue to chase her 3. Obsessive behavior (like blowing up her DM's) 4. Inappropriate comments / sexual harassment
Regarding blowing up her DMs.. Serious advice to every guy out there.. Don't text/message women other than to meet up for a date or to hang out. Don't try to rationalize why you should date, what your feelings are etc. Only if you are having sex with a woman do you open up and text/message more otherwise you should be radio silent.
@Zachary Cole Women love things they don’t like. They might complain about the guy that never texts back I bet that’s the guy she is sleeping with though, I bet when he does hit her up she’s getting nailed by him the same day. I know it’s weird to us men, we can’t wrap our heads around it. But if you want to think like a woman you must get rid of all logic.
To the point of a woman thinking a guy is creepy if she isn't attracted to him, the irony is that most women will get upset when men say there's no point in interacting with them without a physical component. The reason this is true is because without it, they're judged the same way we would judge another guy which is to say, she needs to be interesting or useful. Even in relationships, most men only kind of finding his woman interesting because men and women are different and tend to have interests based largely on their sex. If the physical component was removed, the vast majority of those relationships would end instantly. As far as usefulness goes, again because of interests that stem from a person's sex, most of the services that men hire out, tend to be filled by men. Explain this to a woman and watch her lose her mind.
I'm a woman. Just came across your channel. This is sooo refreshing!! I think there are for sure a bunch of "creepy" WOMEN out there who are vindictive, mean and really mentally ill. Men deserve BETTER. Alot of women have ... really terrible beliefs about men. I had some too, when I was younger...thinking all that men want is sex, big boobs etc etc... However, I got a job, where I am often the only woman, or maybe there is one or two other woman, and about a dozen or two or three dozen men are on the job. Women... you all have some really really wrong impressions. I've come to not fear or be extremely suspicious of men - at all. They are wonderful!! They have a much better sense of humor and they are WAY more in touch with their emotions than they are given credit. I love and adore all these men. Respect. Respect yourself and they will respect you. Respect them, and they will respect you, and love you. ❤️
I started an internship last week and my tutor, a man a few years older than me, has been incredibly understanding and kind to me and another male intern, and I was really happy. All the other clerks there are women and maybe out of male solidarity, he's very patient and kind to us. Of course he's like that to the women too, it's just to say that he shows a very healthy kind of masculinity which I adore and isn't absolutely to be taken for granted
"I think there are for sure a bunch of "creepy" WOMEN out there who are vindictive, mean and really mentally ill." Exactly. But this society still has trouble exposing it.
Lol yeah im a woman who was the only lady also in a group of men at work They actually did want to date me and some told each other they were in love while I was there to make money Really disaapointing So if that doesn't happen to you doesn't mean it doesnt happen to other women. Maybe your not that charismatic
One of MY personal favorites is when I used to work at a retailer, I'd greet a customer (Hello, how are you? or Hi, need help with anything?), and the immediate response would be an abrupt "Sorry, I have a boyfriend!!!" 🤦♂ You just walked into a place of business and declared your attachment to someone else SIMPLY because an employee did their job and greeted you or offered assistance? Makes perfect sense, skippy!
Sounds like a fun gag would be to get a ring, put it on wedding ring picture, then hold up your hand, brandishing the ring. You don't even have to say you're married. She will just assume with ring, ha ha, right?
Did you have a uniform on? Or was the dress code at your work causal to where someone might mistake you for a customer? Maybe those women didn't realize you were an employee?
@@carnationsensation Full uniform with the company name on the front and back of the shirt, on the front of the utility apron, plus on my nametag. My only thought is maybe she's frequently hit on by guys in aprons? 🥴
Seriously, we've become so overly freaking sensitive these days. Whats just as bad are those who constantlyneed an ego boost. 2022 was horrible, we need to do better in 2023. If she isn't interested, just bail! If she says she has a bf, BAIL! If she isn't responding to your texts, FREAKING BAIL!! Start small, go out once or twice a week, meet them in real time! NO MORE PEN PALS, TEXT BUDDIES, DATING APPS, ETC.
no if she doesn't have a boyfriend it's you vs 10 other "options" .... but if she does have a bf it's 1v1 kinda narrows down the scope and helps define your odds a little better lol
@@CourtneyRyan Excellent video, Miss Courtney. I will disagree on one point, the light touch in the small of the back as we're passing behind someone in close quarters. I do this with both women and men, usually saying something like, "I'm going to squeeze past you." IMO, it's not creepy, where brushing past groin-to-buttocks is. (Or buttocks-to-buttocks.) It SHOULD be obvious if a man is just passing, versus wanting to act like a dog wanting to "rub" your leg. Personally, other than shaking hands, the only touch I will initiate is like a touch on the shoulder or arm to get the attention of a waitress in a loud environment. However, I have accidentally gotten a handful of, um, breast. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought the young lady setting next to me was falling, and just reacted by putting a hand out to try to break her fall. I had an apology to make, and she was graceful about it. She had just suddenly bent over to get something out of her purse that was shoved back between our chairs. So sometimes, the man may not be doing it to be "creepy," it's to avoid a more uncomfortable action.
You say "bail" Yet sometimes the people who don't bail.. who don't burn that bridge. End up marrying that person. Because Life is insanely complicated. Love is not a game. Stop treating it like one. Use good judgment and live your life and try and find Love and get to know people. Maybe the women was being completely ignorant about the guy and since he kept trying eventually it worked out. Nothing wrong with that on the guys end. And nothing is wrong with dating apps either. Meeting people in real life is so difficult because again... it's all just a game now. As a Man you can't even approach women these days. You can't just talk and get to know eachother and go out on dates. You need to have charm and do everything perfectly...
@Jordan Hansen OP is right, don't waste your time. Good luck chasing a woman down who already told you she isn't interested for months and months. I'm sure you won't end up resenting her for your inability to accept what you don't want to. Women get terrible dating advice generally but one good piece is "if he wants you, he'll make time for you" and the same is true for men. If a woman blows you off or tells you she's not interested, then fine. Walk away, you're more likely to get her that way anyway.
Well good thing I'm above average in everything except for my height, but if you think being short is going to prevent you from getting girls, then it sounds like your mental fortitude is your biggest weakness and you need to fix it. I'm below average in height yet I'm balancing 4 women right now. Grow up and level up smh
Wow! Married guy here who wandered onto this video because it looked like an interesting subject in my UA-cam feed. What genuinely great advice this woman gives. There's no ego in it at all and it's coming from a good place. I also really enjoyed reading through the comments. Although people have had their struggles in the dating scene, it's so refreshing to hear honest accounts. Hey, we're all flawed and most of us are trying our best in life. What more could you do or want? As I've told other people in the past, I much prefer to be around good-hearted flawed human beings than "perfect" people.
There are a lot of creepy women out there as well. 1) Stalking 2) Clinging 3) Feel like you have a relationship with her friends and her, or in-laws and her, or both 4) She needs a sugar daddy or has daddy issues 5) She tests you too much at the wrong time: 'stands in front of the TV during a big game' and wants to distract you 6) She is constantly insecure 7) Women who constantly try to change men or make men feel they are the problem.
Definitely,...i think this vid is advice for decent guys that may make some errors and come off "creepy" but not necessarily a creep outright,..those types need some therapy and serious self reflection and a different issue completely. This is just some common guidelines really,
I had a woman who kept using me for a dopamine release. Every month or so she kept using me for conversation and then would ghost me. Id ask her to link up to hang out and she wouldn’t answer me. Then I’d leave her alone and she’d pop up again and again just to say hey. So I now ignore her cuz that’s toxic and immature of her to do. I realized some women do this because they get a kick out of attention and want their ego stroked. Be careful of these attention demons.
If you don't get a date from her in a few days to a week? Move on.......too many of them pull that crap now a days and too many Men are naive and got given unrealistic advice about Women and dating growing up or were raised by their mom or most of or all of the adult authority in their childhood were Women or the Men in their loves growing up were henpecked.
@@elijahwilson1422 the problem is they take for granted of the options they get while they r young and pretty. They take advantage of the market and play these games until their time is up. That’s when they come back around and say they “are done playing games” and r ready to be serious. That’s when u give them the rug pull and leave them to their misery. I now know to never play their game. Like u said if they aren’t cooperative off rip move on.
@@elijahwilson1422 I usually give them a month to meet in person. Depending on the level of communication though. If you are hitting it off with someone and having a conversation every day then there is no reason why it should take forever to actually meet. Contrarily, if there is no communication really and they don't make an effort to get to know you then two weeks and move on. I personally don't meet girls that I don't at least talk to on the phone once or twice just to feel them out. You never know who you are talking to online.
I have been through this a lot. In middle and high school girls called me creepy out of the blue all the time, and it was so annoying because I never did or said anything creepy. Yeah, I wasn’t the best looking, I was 5’5 and overweight (reached 191 pounds when I graduated, but lost 14 after that), but I tell you, a lot of people will associate anything out of the blue with creepiness when they don’t find you attractive.
If they say that you are creepy out of the blue then they most likely are building their ego or maybe they even want your attention and don't find you creepy at all. Many good looking men are victims of such women.
There's nothing better than being called a creepy stalker by one of your university classmates publicly in front of your whole social circle for responding to 2 or 3 insta stories in months or years. Not even knowing that you sent does messages and received no answer. By someone who you actually thought highly of both personally and professionally. You try to fit in and make friends and that's what you receive being ignored, and being in total social isolation or called names. There's nothing better than having those two words play over and over again in your mind in an endless loop until you're inches from doing something stupid.... People do not think how damaging they can be even with a few words.
Thank you both. You know there's a period where you don't care yet what others think. There's a period where you've been through so much shit, name calling, loneliness and so on where you don't know how not to care. There's the period when this leads you to dark pits of hell, which does bring you back to not caring. Thank you both for the empathy. All this shit does make ultimately for a great screenplay and I do think that the lows are important parts of us that also makes us apriciate the beauty in life more. :)
Thats not right, and sorry you had to hear that from someone. Some women and people in general tend to throw around that word too loosely sometimes. You likely have plenty of people (or enough) that know who you are and that you are not like that. In the meantime just totally block that girl out of your life and dont give her any excuse to accuse you of anything. Its against the law for someone to make serious false allegations like that toward someone and they shouldn't be doing that to begin with.
@@deannamarie3746 I haven't seen or spoken with her for years. Last year I sent her a message telling her the kind of effect her words had on me. While also telling her that I think she's a good person. As I started writing my screenplay I wanted to copy that message out. She blocked me and she is probably in thousands of miles away in a different country. So I don't think we'll ever speak again.
I'm 61, so I've probably been there, done that. The worst rejection is being told 'you creep me out'. I was so shy in school I couldn't even talk to a girl if attracted to her. Patience is a must in today's world. I did ask a lady once if she needed a hug. It was meant to console and not meant in a sexual desire. That hug was the beginning of a 16 year relationship. I like the advice I hear, here. 👍🏻👍🏻🙏🏻🤗
There is a BIG difference between asking "Do you need a hug" as you did, and "Where's my hug?" as Courtney put it. The latter is an entitled demand. 58 in a couple weeks, nice to know I'm not the only old fart here. and I've learned so much from Courtney; only wish all her info was around when I was in High School.
I live in a town where women seldom dress up. I saw a woman in a store that was very nicely dressed up. So I said, "Excuse me but I just wanted to tell you I think you look amazing." That was it. I wasn't hitting on her. I didn't ask for a phone number of even try to make small talk. My intent was only to give a compliment where I thought it was due. She called me creepy. So... I just don't give out compliments anymore. It is not worth the time or effort to be nice to people.
Amen! I just see a hot chick, give her the old visual once over, silently fantasize for a moment and that’s it. Outside of common politeness…please, thank you, excuse me, they don’t exist. They did this to themselves. It started in the 1960’s with feminism and it’s gotten completely out of control.
Just don't be nice to women (especially young women). You can be nice to men and they'll probably genuinely appreciate it. You can be nice to older women and they will appreciate it too (at least in my experience), but it's even risky sometimes with older women.
Bingo buddy. Save your time and money . Stay clear. Also I don't even look at women because they always got their bitch face on anyway. Don't have time to look at that ugliness and negativity. The only thing like and love, well it's green, and it's called money , that is all I have time for.
I'm autistic, and so I don't deal with ambiguity very well. So, I've adopted a pretty simple approach. If I make a request, and the answer isn't yes, the answer is no. This would be a good policy to follow for any man pursuing a romantic relationship with a woman. If you ask her out, anything other than an explicit yes means no. Just walk away. Either she actually meant no, or she's a crazy person. Either way, you are better off pursuing a relationship with someone else. What if she says no and really what you to chase her? In that case, don't walk away. Run. Because she's special and not in a good way. If a woman can't communicate her thoughts clearly, she not ready for dating. She's not even ready to be an adult. One other thing that should be added to the creepy list is catcalls. And this goes for both men and women. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman walking up to a man and asking him for a date. But when I was younger, and only moderately attractive, I had two different women yelling from their cars at me. They both had some complementary things to say about my rear end. And one of them offered me sex. Not the kind of gal I would want to take home to meet my parents. Yeah, women can be creepy as well. My advice for women who want to make the first move is to be clear and to the point about what you want. But don't be vulgar about. Ask for a date, but don't ask for anything else until after you get to know the man a little. For goodness' sake, buy the man a drink and have a conversation with him before you try to jump his bones.
There is a question that change me in a 180 degree , "Can you date yourself?" Analyze yourself and honestly ask yourself if you can be with someone that is 100% you, I could not so I change a lot of thing in the last 3 pasts months.
Courtney does have a number of videos that talk about how so many women just "can't find a good man these days" or otherwise seem to just have trouble in dating relationships. The kind of woman that Courtney describes in point #1 absolutely deserves any difficulty she might encounter in the dating game. Guys, any woman who calls your normal (non-creepy) behavior "creepy" to boost her ego is T-O-X-I-C and immature. Do a 180°.....fast.
You're absolutely right, once a woman tells me that she isn't interested, I don't waste my time with the stuck up witch and hope that a house falls on her
I don't have a problem with it... The problem I have is when random women label me "creepy" when I'm not even doing anything, just minding my own business and trying to live my life peacefully... My presence apparently makes them feel uncomfortable, so they try to label me a creep or give me a hard time sometimes. Whether it's my sub-Brad Pitt appearance or social awkwardness, I don't know...but my life is already hard enough without random women (who I haven't even spoken to) making it harder.
@@johnsampson6387 I kinda had a somewhat similar experience at school last week when I was doing nothing and eating breakfast, and a when a bunch of women sat down at the table, one of them mocked me for no reason after another one of them said “I hate men” despite the fact that I was minding my own business, and didn’t do nothing. It’s not exactly being called a creep, just as few woman being assholes and messing with people who are minding their own business instead of just leaving me the hell alone. I never said a word to any of those strangers, yet if course when a bunch of women sat near me, the only dude around, I have to be the one to get messed with or hear some sort of sexist comment. Yeah, it’s not always a matter of misunderstanding, some people just want to be assholes to people that they find as different from them, even if the difference is just your sex.
I used to think I was creepy before I watched this video. I really did not think people would go to great lengths just to be liked and have a relationship. I do not think I know the bad habits many act on. Thank you for opening my eyes.
Powerful video Courtney thank you. I put this woman on a pedestal briefly and the next day I saw she did not respond to my morning text. So I didn’t text her for two days and she didn’t text me for two days. It was the best move I could’ve made. I sent her one text message in the afternoon two days later and just called out the shift that happened in our last conversation two days ago. And said I didn’t think this was working out. She agreed, and we parted ways amicably. It’s crazy how easy it is to be off putting. But I wasn’t in the creepy department and it’s because I have been watching these videos and learning so much. It was painful but I felt really good about how I handled it.
The reason the signals are confusing is because I've had girl co-workers tell me about their dating experience and sometimes they say, "So and so didn't try hard enough" or he gave up too easy. So we don't know if she is saying no or testing us to see if we give up too easy because if we give up too easy, then men come off weak. So the conundrum is, if you approach aggressively, then you come off creepy and if you give up too easy then you didn't try hard enough. What I find crazy is even average looking women in CA play this game; that is, they want to be aggressively approached by men because it gives them an ego-boost and attention. So they will make you chase after them and then say no, just to crush you because it makes them feel better, that they are wanted. I'd say 8/10 women in CA are like this. These are the women who never find a date and end up holding out into their 30s for the perfect man.. lol.
try harder these days could mean Finding yourself in Court/Jail too so its probably best to take at face value & move on, if you can be bothered to even pursue at all these days
I totally get the hug thing. I had a friend who believed that hugs were for women and handshakes for guys. He was always hugging attractive girls at work. And you could see them cringe everytime.
Some woman are also into the 'business hug' or air kiss. I hate both in a business or professional situation. It's handshakes for all. Nothing more, nothing less, nothing else. For most women, I don't want you near my body, I don't want to be near your body!!
Modern women are truly leftovers. There is no point trying to understand these stupids. Dump and find traditional women in other coumtries in the only solution.
I can relate to what you're saying, when I was a teenager, had some older guy constantly at my workplace (this went on a long time) who almost every time I was at work would follow me around and stare at me, never say anything. I was so creeped out by that. I'll never know but would assume the guy wasn't totally right mentally. When you told your story about the gym and the guy touching you that is so disturbing I'm sorry you went through that. Can only imagine if the dude that was stalking me touched me.
Thank you Courtney for your videos, 🙏 Good Job👏👍 It's always a RELIEF to know you're not the only one experiencing something NEGATIVE, but it's a trend/phenomenon. Since the inception of online CHAT, I was noticing the younger generation shying away(less skilled) from FACE-TO-FACE conversation/socialization & it was ALARMING to me; nowadays it has gone to the extreme I believe dating APP was a FAD & people are less enthusiastic to use them for various reasons. So people are left nowhere to turn to & formation of relationships are in DANGER. Slowly but surely people are coming to their senses & returning to old ways, which for centuries before internet, human beings used to meet each other -- IN PERSON. Programs like yours can be a great CATALYST to make this needed transformation to save human race. Please keep up the terrific work🙏
Saying hi, I get called a creep. I quit trying make eye contact with any female when talking to them, I look in a general area past them. Being ugly makes me a creep. I am married and have zero interest in any female, yet I am creepy for even attempting to be friendly or just a half smile. Even my daughter's friends call me a creepy old man because I won't even look at or acknowledge them. It's quite confusing... I am a creeper for looking in a general direction of a female, saying hi, or not even look at them? I don't get it...
I suggest that you should treat everyone with courtesy like face them if they talk to you or just simply wave a hand or nod to them to at least acknowledge them. Simply gesture of acknowledgment that you see them should be enough. If they find that offensive or creepy then just pay no mind to them. Let them get upset on their own mind. I think over thinking about this situation will just tire you out. If they like then who cares. At least we treat them decently.
Added advice: #1 reading the room and self-awareness. If you failed to read the room you can come off as creepy or weird #2 Having desperate vibes will come off as creepy if she isn’t into you #3 At parties, don’t approach from behind. Approach from the front and don’t immediately touch and have a good attitude.
Thanks for being reasonable and giving solid advice. Def use the “don’t be creepy” tips for my professional life. I’m already married and don’t need to accidentally become the office creep.
You’re right. Far too many women think too much of themselves and label any guy who they don’t want to come onto them or even look at them as creepy. I’ve had to deal with this my whole life.
I'm college, there was this girl that always complained this guy wouldn't leave her alone. She would go out with him for a bit then be distant with him. One day, I was tired of her complaining about him, so I asked, "Have you ever told him to stop texting you and that you are not interested in him"? She sheepishly looked down and hesitantly said no. Me and my friend looked at her and said that's why he keeps going after you!
The first point was super valid. What a Chad can get away with won't fly for a majority of guys so don't try to copy some of the stuff they do. Some of the best advice I ever got was to stay focused on whatever you're doing in the moment and be yourself. Also don't stare at women or elbow your way awkwardly into a social situation. I think those are two of the biggest mistakes the average guy makes.
Thank you, Courtney! Of all your videos, this was the most meaningful to me! This is because as an older True GENTLEMAN, I find more and more that everything has become creepy to a woman, except a guy with a fancy car and has lots of money. I dress impeccably and keep myself well groomed. Up until now, my cars have been beat up looking, but they are mine and paid for! Next week, I will be buying a convertible Camero in excellent condition. A real head turner! I will be seeing what difference that makes over the next 3 months. I will let you know what difference that has made then. Again, thank you, Courtney A lost and lonely 58 year old True GENTLEMAN.
Guys, just remember; at the end of the day you are pretty aware of what is and what isn't creepy, I'm sure more than you expect. If you are respectful and understand when to back off you're perfectly fine. If she still finds that creepy after you do everything right, that's on her and it's a problem she has to work on.
I don't know man, I'm not hating on the young guns but a lot dudes and chicks in their early 20's are pretty socially retarded. Maybe it's an age thing but I think it's more of a living life online thing.
"Creepy" is a relative, subjective concept made up by people. Back in the 60s, smacking your secretary on the caboose as she left wasn't creepy...it was just boys being boys. Nowadays, looking at a woman for more than 2 seconds is creepy (if you don't look like John Stamos, of course). From one extreme to the other extreme.
I don't approach women because I fear being seen as creepy, I don't approach them because I don't want them to see me as being not self confident. There is a huge difference. Plus, at my advanced age, why bother. My sexiest years are far behind me. Yet, women 40 years younger than I still show interest. Don't know why, they just do. Not all of them, obviously, but way more than I would expect...
Makes sense I asked a female friend if its about behavior vs looks that makes a man creepy or not. She said yes. Its about the behaviour vs how he looks
Wish I new this list back in elementary. Being Autistic and having a communication disorder *unable to register Subtle cues. I've been called creepy all my life (smile, laugh, look) basically lived as a hermit in result of negative feedback over the years. Your chanel and videos have been Very helpful thank you 😌🤝.
I’ve always been self aware of giving girls their boundaries. I always keep my distance and once it seems the conversation is going nowhere, I just give a friendly goodbye. I then wait to see if she wants to continue the conversation, if not then that’s it.
I think not overstating your welcome is a great move, and if you think you had a good time you can write down your number and give it to her in case they want to contact you. If you really made an impression, she'll text you. But even if she doesn't text you, you're still doing something not everyone has the guts to do, which shows confidence and is a great reward by itself :)
I think a lot of perceived creepiness just comes from the man being nervous. I've been watching a lot the UA-cam channel More Plates More Dates, and he seems to agree with that theory and his proposed solution is exposure therapy. You stop being intimidated by women by approaching women until they no longer make you nervous and you start coming off as normal. He is probably right, but his solution is more easily said than done for most men today.
@@michaeldooley5398 Not that I disagree with your points, but trust me on this one: Women will and do try to "chat men up" if you are handsome and successful. It will happen to you on a weekly basis. Even married and engaged women would do that over and over again, no matter how clear you have rejected them.
Absolutely. I see it in myself all the time because when I get nervous I can tell that I'm starting to look fidgety lmao Which is miles different from chill me when I'm out with my friends and I can show my best side. A great tip my best friend gave me when I brought up a girl we know whom I don't really like but from the outside may look like we're dating was to try and act the same way with girls I like. He said something like "you don't like her, so you act normal and she enjoys being around you. Just do the same when you're with one that you like" and well, he's right
Hi, @Courtney Ryan. Just discovered your channel, so no sure yet, but so far you seem to be a bit of fresh air in our current, confusing social environment. A welcome relief from much of the vitriol I encounter out there (from both directions). As I finish the life change that I'm currently going through and prepare for the next chapter, I'll be looking to your videos to learn this new environment and hopefully find some success. No need to respond to this comment (assuming you even see it)---I just wanted to offer a word of encouragement for your work. Thank you.
Thank you for doing this. I knew I wasn’t really a creep. You hit the nail on the head. I can’t believe it’s the norm for women to be shallow. Men are supposedly the ones that judge people on looks. I have to say that it does hurt my feelings that the woman that I love thinks I’m ugly when I put so much effort in to my looks. You can put a check mark for the females wining a point. I knew it was because I was ugly. I thought I had a chance because females can fall in love with men based on what they have done for them. I thought we just loved women because they are pretty. I thought wrong. I’m pretty sure you have a lot of stalkers. I can assure you I am not one of them. There is a price people pay for being nice, smart and beautiful. What ever guy you are seeing is a lucky guy. Im waiting to make a woman lucky. Thank you for telling the truth.🤝
On the flip side for the 2nd point, there are women who think men like the chase when we actually hate it and we want to know women like us or naw. I ain’t wasting my time with you, Becky!
Women created the notion of "The Chase", and it's designed to dismantle Patriarchy and to make the Man to be at her Mercy so that she controls him. Think about it... In a legitimate Marriage, shouldn't it be the Woman who is on her knees begging for Marriage!? In many eras past, this is how it was. The one who gets on their knees is the one in servitude.
Yup, and those women love to give mixed signals. It really sucks when you can tell a woman you are on par with is just indifferent with you and could go either way. This is honestly why half of women are going to end up single and childless by 30. It is also why guys have to pursue multiple women at once because of the games women play.
@brent4073 idk about Childless. There are women that are having babies with low lives that aren't worth a damn. Also, there are younger women now in days talking about how they would like to get pregnant by a random, good-looking guy and just be content with being a single mother.
i'm with you on that. i have always hated the chase and never understood why some guys liked it. i prefer, i put in the work to improve myself. that punches my ticket so date me without playing cat & mouse. otherwise f off.
@@marksmith4892 Yeah it just burns out energy and I can't tell you how many times I've heard Women (including in their 50's and older) say that the moment anything gets serious they lose interest and it's no fun anymore, since they get off on the idea of a Man wanting them and willing to spend ridiculous amounts of money on them, but never doing anything in return.
Hahaha man that was pretty good. I've seen so many guys do this sort of stuff. On a bus one time... there was this young (early 20s ish) woman that had been taking my morning bus for about a week, at that point. I always sat in the very back, so i had a perfect view of this interaction. One day a guy that also took that bus walks up to her. She's sitting in the front, on the right, inside seet of the two seats. He approaches from the back. Sits down next to her, instantly blocking her exit. First words out of his mouth. "I notice you when you started taking the bus last week, and have been trying to think of what to say to you." Very next stop 30 seconds later. She says, well... I gotta go. Pushes him out of the way and gets off the bus. He didn't even say much else to her. But, it definitely came out the wrong way as she got off the bus a good 30-40 min earlier than normal and it was -30 degrees C outside the bus. Next wasn't scheduled for another 45 min. She never took that bus again. Gentlemen. If you are a young guy and you want to cold approach. Run the lines past an older male, or younger female friend first. Screwing up an approach ruins it for other men. My approach? I talk to every woman as if she's a married lesbian construction worker. I couldn't care less if it leads to anything more.
@@visaman that was probably 16 years ago. It takes a lot less than that for a young woman to get the *ick* from a cold approach these days. If you wanna cold approach a woman, perhaps first review Louis CKs bit about dating. ua-cam.com/video/Qv0_eVsEBvA/v-deo.html
Thank you for the video I really appreciate you helping g the fellas out. Out of everything I only struggle with body language but recently I've been making the straps to fix that first by standing up straight but most of the time i don't know what to do with my hands so I have them either in my jacket pockets or pants pockets but again I hate doing nothing with my hands so if I'm not using them I rest them. The part about saying "where's my hug" I've received that advice plenty if times but never used it cause I thought if there are people like me who dislikes being touched then guarantee others don't like it either it felt like common sense if I want a hug I'll ask if they say no ok and move on after apologizing. I do have a question so I'm a natural skittish person but I don't always show it but I'm always looking around me and sometimes at work I'll look around and I'll look directly at my female coworker on accident she's brought it up too me before and ive said what it is I'm doing but id like your opinion is that creepy too you it feels like a coincidence that every time I get that urge too look around or up she's always there and catches my glance. Is that creepy too you? Let me know your thoughts.
*This is well-thought out and considerably accurate. *Also to consider is either avoidant and/or anxious attachment syles. At times, can be highly insecure. *Also to note is intensity. When a male literally states he is intense, then believe it.(This has personally happened to me in real life and social media) *In psychology, this can be linked to Psychopathic tendencies. *However, if there is a realistic connection, then time will tell.
Good topic. When my wife and daughter go to the gym they tell me about "creepy" guys. They don't mind the look with a smile or wave. They say the "creepy" ones stare or workout by them and look repeatedly but never smile or anything. I tell them guys do either because they like what they see but are insecure about approaching or they want you to acknowledge them to get your approval first. It's interesting hearing their point of view.
Bro some women not your wife and kid are annoying af at the gym and need to hurry the f up so I can get my set in and leave! Not lookin at you maam im waiting can u look at ur damn phone on another machine please?!?!
@@samsneadd 🤣 heard! We've got some of those. Dudes too! Before they started in the gym I taught them some gym etiquette to avoid being those people. They do pretty good. Put on their music, leave phones in the bag, and superset their exercises. I was impressed. My gym bros tell me that they put the work in. Sometimes the owners wife trains with them too. But hey, guys are going to look regardless.
Or maybe,like me, the women are hogging the machine and not even bothering to get off between their sets and I'm trying to work up the courage to tell them to let me get my sets in without being considered a creep for using the service i paid for.
i was familiar with the phrase "REJECTION BREEDS OBSESSION" but after listening to it i think "OBSESSION BREEDS REJECTION" courtney you are a pure soul sharing the real content. cheers.
How did it come to this in society where there is a certain amount of seconds of looking at someone, yet not looking at someone at all is classed as creepy as well 😂might as well walk around with a garbage bag over our heads
@@CourtneyRyan - It's the Dobler/Dahmer Rule Girl dumps you, so you stand outside her window playing Peter Gabriel on a Boombox because that was the song playing the first time you had sex. If she still likes you even though she rejected you -- you're Lloyd Dobler from "Say Anything..." and it will probably work out. Do the exact same thing if she doesn't like you anymore -- you're Jeffrey Dahmer, and the local police will have a few questions to ask you.
@@Apeiron242 We're not talking about extremes,like pulling out a knife ,we're talking about a gesture's ''creepiness''factor being determined by the guy's looks Is she attracted to you?Then touching is normal and welcome Is she not attracted to you? i.e. You are ugly.Then touching becomes inappropriate and ''creepy'' Same action,different appearance,get it?. Stop pouting
I would add one more thing. If you ask a woman out and she says "no" and give you a reason, 99% of times it means that she isn't interested in YOU! It doesn't matter if she says she's not ready for a relationship, she's busy at work or her hamster died. She's just being nice and tries to avoid potentially awkward situation by telling you "no" without making it personal. Appreciate it! If a guy she finds genuinely attractive asks her out she will make herself ready for a relationship, find a time to meet him and forget about her hamster;)
Courtney, you are truly a paragon of excellence when it comes to dissecting behavior between men an woman. You set a shining exemplar for all to aspire towards. Your content recently is truly eye opening, and I hope your name is spoken with reverence and admiration by all who know it in this niche. Don’t want to exaggerate but you are truly a veritable hero, a beacon of hope and inspiration in an often dark and troubled world.
Happy New Year 🍾. I enjoy listening to your work, because of the honest and genuine nature. As a 59yr old .an, I already knew these things, and am QUITE RESPECTFUL and AWARE of how to treat a woman, like a woman. I look forward to hearing more from your site. Peace-Love-Light, Rich
As a recently divorced man in his late 40s I feel so lost in the dating world. Your videos are helpful, it's very confusing out there And I feel so much has changed in the 15 years I was married.
thanks for the very helpful information. Definitely food for thought. I think i get too hung up on closing the deal so to speak and lose sight of whether I'm having a positive interaction. ie light and fun conversation. i also tell myself and my friends that men should see themselves as the prize to try and avoid being too needy. in practice, i think i forget this too quickly lol.
@courtneyryan thank you for what you do, truly. You’re a calm reasonable caring voice in a sea of obnoxious loud sleezy influencers yelling terrible advice in our faces. You’re a gem, and you hold a lot of value to anyone lucky enough to come across you
I discovered this channel 2 days ago and watched dozens of videos, that help me a lot improving my bad character traits and habits, as well as building my self-awareness. What I have to say is that serious, sincere and helpful women with depth of character like Courtney are immensely valuable for our society, while being the ideal wife material we should have in mind... Keep up the good work!
I’m in a relationship so getting girls isn’t something I need to work on. I started watching because I wanted to dress better and wanted help with my fashion but some of this stuff helped be be a better boyfriend and I’m doing so realize why my girlfriend is the one for me. Definitely a helpful channel. Courtney is for sure the example of the type of woman that men should look for.
Before you even got to that part I was just remembering this one particular story from years ago. At this restaurant pub this young girl who couldn't have been any older than 18 was getting hugs from all her friends and this guy who must have been in his mid 30's at the time and thought he was being smooth says to her "where's mine?" Which of course she responds "I don't know you!" And then with his ego bruised he walks off mumbling "she wasn't all that great anyway". It was a very awkward thing just to be in the presence of.
Amen Courtney, you are once again sooooo spot on with the content in this video. Really enjoy your perspective on things and you provide much-needed confirmation and clarity. Thank You.
Oh and the "she says she's not interested" bit is also a bit tricky because they will say "I want to play hard to get to see if he's really into me" and other games. And then they complain that men are cowards because we take "no" at face value.
THANK YOU for giving the advice to NOT touch someone you just met, even if it's in a "friendly" or "playful" way. Guys can get themselves in trouble that way. Some women may be offended at a touch and make a scene. Some may not react much, but they could be genuinely afraid of you or at least uneasy. I've had strange/barely acquainted men do the shoulder massage thing (DON'T) and even though I flinched, I still tried to laugh it off because I felt like I was the problem and should be "flattered". But I was deeply uncomfortable and NEVER agreed to go anywhere with them afterwards if they asked. I've also had this done to me by women and hated it then too--actually the only time a stranger groped me it was another woman and I was just like...wtf. Don't go touching total strangers, it's not a good idea.
Interesting concept: creepy is specially about uncertainty - a potential misalignment between behavior and intentions. A scary person isn’t creepy (it’s just scary) and a harmless person isn’t creepy (just harmless), but creepy is when it isn’t clear which is which, and the uncertainty of that seems to triggers something deep and ignite a fear response in women. Which sucks for guys who can set that off, but is probably an evolved and useful response for keeping them safe.
I see. Then Moon Dong-eun wasn't creepy. She was just interacting with her enemies, ready to become even more deadly and sinister to her former bullies. A truly evolved response to keep Dong-eun safe. To clarify, it's from what I gleaned on what you wrote and used a fictionalized character to determine if she was creepy or not.
The hand on back in passing can feel "creepy" but is often practical especially while navigating crowded, high energy spaces. People in crowds can unexpectedly move into someone else's path or gesture erratically which leads to all kinds of unfortunate interactions and misunderstandings. People are dancing etc. A gentle, momentary touch to signal your presence as you move through a space is gentler than a shoulder and can help minimize any number of much more uncomfortable situations. It can even ( often unintentionally) lead to organic meetings as the person whose back you briefly touched looks at you and realizes you just helped them avoid backing into waitstaff carrying a try or something.
@@soujemn5 Yea, this is a tough one. I too would rather body check a chick when collision is incoming, then make the effort with my hands for a softer impact (hopeing I land them in an appropriate spot. Cus i know if i had a chick, it would be WAR if some dude tried to do the same). But ultimately, I avoid crowds all together.
@@jwg9338 It's really not. Glad it works for you but I think the brevity in passing is what works more than the elbow. Elbow is the worst! Maybe a shoulder? A gentle and BREIF hand on the back is better than an elbow ANYWHERE. It's the lingering and or caress that gets into creepy land.
creepiness overall would be the impression that she would have reasons to believe you're bad in bed or would be a bad father. that has to do with your net worth and your ability to basically sound "normal" and the 3rd being "knowing your expectations" because if you were good in bed you would already know what kind of girl you can pull in the first place. If something seems a bit "off" in that department you're creepy and probably should work on women who have lower self esteem who feel they deserve to be with someone as creepy as you. It's all a mind game lol.
Can you imagine how creepy the book 50 shades of gray would be to women if the character was poor and ugly lmfao it'd be some black snake moan, silence of the lambs type shit
I already know there's no such thing as fairness and never has been and never will be but I know that one of the things I hate about being born male, born a guy, is how guys or men can easily or unfortunately be labeled creepy or weird in social situations or interactions. A lot of guys can unfortunately be labeled that even when they never meant any harm and were never trying to hurt anybody. We were just trying to attempting to be social and making new friends and possibly trying to get a date or get a girlfriend. It sucks because many of us are just never specifically taught in our adolescent years, teenage years, as to what is creepy behavior or what is creepy and what is not creepy, we just never learned, so people and society shouldn't be so hard on people who make dumb social mistakes that causes them to get labeled creepy or weird because they just never learned, they were never specifically taught or told as to what is creepy behavior and what is not creepy. And women have the luxury of never having to be labeled creepy or weird in social interactions or social situations like men do, it makes sense as to why women never have to worry about being labeled that is because, since guys or men are physically bigger or on average a little bit stronger than women, that means in a woman's perspective, a guy can be perceived or interpreted as a possible threat or a danger, the reverse is never true. It further enrages me because of the way it looks like, men are the only gender that need to mess up or screw up interactions or social interactions when it comes to learning how to do or getting better at talking to the opposite sex, because no doubt tons a lot of guys will have had negative or bad experiences of getting labeled weird or creepy by women just for approaching them, and even if men do become better at interacting with women, the wounds and scars of having been labeled weird or creepy just for improving their ability to interact with them will no doubt forever remain permanent for all eternity. And it makes me mad more because the way the man talks or interacts impacts his ability to attract women a lot more than the other way around. Women can easily avoid that journey of getting rid of social awkwardness or social ineptness and still have options or still have a dating life. it only adds fuel to fire in which it makes me more mad and pisses me off whenever people and society still think women have the better end of the stick when it comes to dating.
A lot of guys here are interpreting the idea - that you can only get a positive response from complimenting a strange woman if you are attractive - as something wrong and messed up. But the way I interpret that is that women don't appreciate compliments by men they don't know, but will excuse it or respond less negatively if the man is very attractive. We all operate that way. 90% of us are more likely to excuse negative behavior when it's exhibited by people we find attractive. It's very understandable and most of us are guilty of this.
Thank you Courteney for giving me a woman's point of view on this. I worked with a female who had a lot of bad days at work. Overwhelmed. Verbal. She would sometimes talk for over an hour when I clocked out about problems. I listened. Something I'm told is much needed. Don't try to fix it. Just listen. One day I delivered her mail at work. I heard crying. I asked if she was okay. Her back was to me and I came up to her and my hands touched her shoulders. She screamed "don't touch me!" This scared the hell of me. I was utterly confused. My act was out of concern and compassion. I wasn't trying to make a move on her. I got fired. Since then I've learned that I can't touch people at work on the shoulder, male or female. After my wife died I got full on body hugs from at least three members of management, only a couple of months prior. To say this is frustrating is the understatement of the year. I come from a small town. My family, my friends, my church hugs, touches, shakes hands, pats on the shoulder. It's a gesture of friendship and compassion. Nothing more. After my story got out people come up behind me and place their hands on my shoulder asking me if I'm ok. Their way of saying I did nothing wrong. It would be funny if it wasn't so serious. I'm blindsided by this.
@Tracchofyre Went to employment office and signed up for help on finding a new job. Told the nice lady my story and she began crying. She grabbed my hands (act of compassion) and I started crying too. Couldn't stop. Had to leave. Bawled my brains out in the parking lot for at least an hour. Another employee came out a couple of times to check on me in the parking lot. I think I had a full blown panic attack. I lost 9 people in the last couple of years including my wife. Then, I try to help someone and I'm branded some kind of pervert. I can't think of anything worse. The employment lady asked me if I'm scared of her touching me and I said I'm terrified of anyone touching me right now. I'm terrified of touching anyone. My pastor said don't even shake hands. I'm vulnerable. I'm grieving. And it feels like the predators smell blood. I realize I'm trying to cope and that it will take time, but seriously. ........ What happened to people?
when I worked at Walmart I was at the self-checkout paying for my lunch break snacks and I told the woman waiting to use the self-checkout next she could go ahead and set her items down on the stand, "I'm just waiting for this thing to print my receipt"...! she calmly said; "...yeah I could do that, I could knock you down and run you over with my cart"...! I thought "boy, this woman is kind of creepy"...? Lol's
I fell onto your video searching for Men's Cologne reviews and found the video pretty good, thank you. Oh, and I want to say you're a nice looking lady. Thank you.
I'm 5 foot 5/ 135 pounds and make a average salary. I used to get laid in my teens and early 20s because I did a bunch of drugs, sold a bunch of drugs, went to bars/parties, and had a rebellious attitude. Ever since I stopped going out much and keeping to myself, occupied with hobbies and such. Crazy women love a reckless guy, and now that I'm less reckless, I'm just kinda a abnormal fellow lol. I get it, I don't look hideous, there's a video of me on my channel. It's 5 years old so I'm ten pounds bigger but I was 125 pounds then lol. I give up, too much work, not enough reward.
Being yourself with a sense of humbleness. Being loud and annoying will label you as "loud and annoying". At work we get new people all the time that try to overly impress within the first 5 sentences of talking. Sometimes its fuxking creepy the weird stuff people blurt out while doing that.
Once again, another great video, Courtney. Absolutely right about attractive people naively thinking they can do no wrong. Worst attitude to land one in trouble.
Good video. I think men have been gaslit into thinking showing any attraction is creepy. It’s good to know a list of behaviors that you can avoid, to boost your confidence that you’re not creepy
15 years ago when I was still single I got a girls number. She smiled and laughed at my jokes so I thought things were going well. I waited a day and then called the number. There was no answer. I left a voice message. I waited and called the next day thinking I must have called her at a busy time. Nothing again. I was such a naive young guy that I just thought there was something wrong with her phone or that she was busy. I kept trying every day for a week until she finally picked up and told me to stop calling because I was freaking her out. I just couldn't understand why a girl would give me her number and then ghost my calls. I figured she'd give me a fake number or tell me "no" if she didn't want a call. I still laugh at how clueless I was at the time.
Wisely spoken. These things unfortunately has been going on for years. Thank goodness for social media these days to openly discuss this matter. Thanks for that perspective.
@@davesteadman1226 thats not necessarily true. If we go with the typical woman who wants a tall rich man with a lot of charisma, most men want something different. Most men want a woman shorter than them and could careless how much money she makes.
Makes sense. Number 1 is true and all but just as she pointed out often it's hard to know. My rule if she says she can't go out for whatever reason like "oh I'm sorry I'm busy" I don't try again unless she suggests another time herself.
I remember one time I asked a girl for her number and she was like "oh I don't have my phone" and I was thinking "you don't need your phone to give me your number" but I knew she was turning me down nicely so I just said "okay, maybe next time you'll have it on you" and laughed as a way to let her know I obviously knew what she was doing.
There are a lot of women who are submissive though and they want the guy to reach out to them and to try and reschedule. I've given up on women thinking that way before, I would wait until a woman flat out doesnt respond to you. Women are always on their phones, if she doesnt respond to you, I guarantee you she didnt suddenly become a monk and she is no longer interested.
Was hanging out with this girl (that I approached at a restaurant) on my vacation cruise, we had good vibes, great conversations had some common interests, she had some interest in me as well. Of course my goal was to hookup this was vacation, but I was playing it cool and... not being "too nice" either. I thought was doing EVERYTHING right, we hung out that night... saw a couple live shows, bar hopping overall a great night.... we already made plans to hangout the next day. No close that night (I did try, but it was too early). The next morning she got seasick on her morning excursion so she said she could not make our plans for that evening... I'm thinking whatever all good... there is tomorrow (the night where everyone gets dressed up in suits/dresses etc) . I texted something along the lines of *"I want you at your best, so best you rest for today, well hang out tomorrow. I plan to dress my very best"*... with those words I got GHOSTED and never heard from her or saw her again... shit... I did not mean for that message to sound sexual or creepy, but when you text something you have no control over how someone will perceive it. I think just the words "I want you" was maybe too much and whatever chances I had of getting with this girl were GONE. That or something else was going on. I did hookup with another woman on that trip... but yeah be careful what you say guys... usually it's better to just say less/do less. The moment you give any kind of creepy energy it is OVER it does not matter how far along you got... I was well passed the cold approach (which is by far the hardest part) and all hangouts/social interactions up to the point of being ghosted were positive with almost no awkwardness.
I once opened with telling a woman on an online dating site that she had nice legs.. Yeah.. Well, I was recently divorced and had been out of the dating game since forever. Anyway, I was creepy on that one (and a few other occasions) but not intentionally. Also, I want to point out that some women can be touchy feely, but I don't find it creepy. I guess because I can still walk away without ever thinking about it again, or take it as a sign of flirting. But, if a woman gets too pushy, I find it pretty creepy, and I put a stop to that.
Hey Courtney! Can you do a poll of how common men who actually approach women receive really harsh rejections? I find in my experience that most of the women who have rejected me have done so gently and subtly, even in cold approach. However, I'm not a handsome man by any means but I'm also not a sub-5, so I'm wondering for those who are considered truly ugly (and not just feeling bad over insecurity) how often do over-reactions happen when you do approach a woman to say hi cuz that experience could be a lot different than the kind of rejections I would usually get.
Most of my in person rejections have been: * Pre-emptive: I've literally had women tell me they have boyfriends or they're not interested without me showing an ounce of interest. Some I would have flirted with, some I would not. * The subtle threat: "I have a boyfriend" is not necessarily a threat, but it absolutely can be. But "My boyfriend over there" or similar are pretty much exclusively threats. I don't get how there IS another interpretation, when a "no, thank you" or even the aforementioned "I have a boyfriend" do the same job without the direct implication. * Mockery: I've had women I talked to just make fun of me. Even I'm not witless enough to think this isn't a rejection. I once started chatting to a guy at the bar, he was obviously talking down to me (just a snooty prick) but I always try to be friendly, girl walks over and starts making fun of me and telling the guy to just leave. I'd wished her a merry Christmas earlier in the evening, which was apparently enough to justify continuing rudeness. Think this was more a class issue, but my working class accent does not mean I'm dumb... (I've always been scholarly, top 3% through school) * The "I love you as a friend." Totally acceptable. Some are still my friends, some are not. (note: this is similar to the preemptive, bc I have yet to ever "shoot my shot" with a female friend. I tend to like them too much as people to risk undermining the friendship) * The deflection: "I'm not ready to date right now" (probably the "gentle let down") * The "we're not dating, we're just meeting each other in a public place to spend time together and see where it goes" (dating without dating. Most frustrating of all imo) * Ghosting. This one is I think very common. Best rejection I ever had was being given a hug, told they felt flattered but they were taken. Was very sweet and genuinely left me feeling better for having asked. Basically, I get rudely rejected when I ask more often than not. But if I just talk to them without any implication of interest, I'm more likely to be treated positively. Especially at work women consistently compliment my attitude (especially younger women. I think they find my formality and guidance reassuring) Even more funny is that "wives and girlfriends" warm to me immediately. I'm quirky and friendly. But even women I'm close to will make disgusted noises if even a joke is made about romantic compatibility with me (everyone knows I have a thick skin, and I'd NEVER betray that this is the one area I'm actually sensitive, bc they really don't mean anything nasty by it. I'm sure they'd hate it if they know I was upset)
@Dm Gray gonna be honest dude that sounds like most of the rejections I've been through. Preemptive rejection happened on middle school and some college. The subtle "my boyfriend is over there" idk enough context if I can count that as a threat cuz I would interpret it as she's just telling me her boyfriend is nearby. I definitely experienced that but never took it as a threat tho I just leave once i hear that which is the right response anyways. I have been in situations where I have talked to girls and then their bfs show up to talk to me. What I do here is be friendly with the bf and either excuse myself or let them leave either way I pretty much leave the interaction on a positive note. I never experienced mockery thought but yea some ppl are dicks like that, but it sounds like you and I share most of these experiences in rejection. I was more or so talking about harsh responses in contexts where you do approach a woman and make your interest clears and she responds with more venom than just "no" or even the subtle examples you've pointed out.
@@GregXHunterz I suppose it depends on your perspective. To me, open mockery is pretty toxic. Disgusted faces and abrupt dismissals are also fairly common. I don't necessarily even think it's conscious or intentional. I can absolutely sympathise with a woman just not wanting to be bothered. It's just the flip side is if nobody EVER bothers them, how are they gonna date? Because not many women are take the initiative :P The "my bf is near" can ONLY be a threat in my understanding. Might be informed by the number of times I was assaulted in school by arseholes for DARING to be friendly to a girl (and I knew some sweet girls that dated some *genuinely* awful guys) What else COULD it mean? I didn't ask directions :P It's not EGREGIOUS and I understand it (especially if a girl is fed up of being hit on, knowing that the guys that approach the most are likely also the least socially aware) but it is what it is.
@@DmGray People are rude as hell. Pre-emptive: One time one said to me "Don't even think about it I have a boyfriend". All because I looked at her. I told her to F off. So she calls her boyfriend and he shows up and start asking me questions and I tell him his girl is rude as hell and he's like "I don't care". So I ask him if want some sht and he says NO.
In my experience the only rude ones are like if I'm trying to get somewhere and I need their attention so they can move out of my way and they go "uuuh I have a boyfriend" and if you think about it it makes sense. Someone who is clueless enough to think I'm approaching would also lack the social grace to be polite if that were the case.
One thing to consider is that Courtney is an introvert giving an introvert's perspective. If you're dealing with a woman who's more extroverted, she might be more open to some of the things--like establishing light physical contact early on, or flirty/sexy jokes--that Courtney feels are a hard "no" in the early stages. Both perspectives are valid of course. This is why men really need to work on their ability to read body language and understand word selection and voice tone, so you can pick up quickly on what's working and what isn't and adjust appropriately. Because if you treat the extrovert like you're dealing with Courtney, she'll think, "Oh I guess he's not interested," and if you treat the introvert like the extrovert she'll think, "Ugh he's so pushy"
In late November, I was at a football game, sitting at the end of a row. A woman (probably mid-thirties) sat next to me, on the steps. I mean right up against me. A total stranger. We made conversation . We held hands a bit, then she got up and continued down the steps to the concession area. On her return trip, she paused again where I was sitting and there was more hand holding. My male friend said to me “You really do make friends everywhere you go.”
I think attractiveness has as much to do about actual appearance as it does about making a good-faith attempt at caring for your appearance. Not everyone can be a model or have to look like one. Good grooming and decent clothes (not necessarily expensive also not rags and not all wrinkly) go a long way to showing you care about your appearance and are making an attempt. There are many guys that don't care at all or make any attempt to improve their appearance. Just trying will put you Leaps and Bounds above all these other men.
Good points...unfortunately way to many guts have been taught that that's what they're supposed to do. Women have aggregated this by encouraging this behavior by their " playing hard to get" games and attention seeking behaviors
The 2nd point is so true. If she’s uninterested or if she rejects you, just move on! Read her body language or the words she says to you. Don’t chase her, it makes you look weird, obsessed and desperate.
It's for your own benefit, too. You get an emotional sunk cost analysis going on in your head. This is also why you shouldn't sit on your hands for too long before you approach her. The more time you focus on her, the bigger the letdown if she's not into you, and the bigger the chance that you ignored someone else who'd be into you.
Yep, unfortunately a lot of men in the comments are acting like how they always complain about women act. Weird and entitled, you're not going to get her by chasing her down. You'll actually do better if you're nice, polite, and unbothered when you get rejected. I've heard horror stories of dudes being rejected and flipping out (and I've lived horror stories of rejecting women and them spazzing) and just by being normal you give yourself such a heads up.
Stop blaming men. No matter what you do or say, if a woman isn't attracted to you she will automatically think it's creepy. If she finds you attractive, you can do or say the exact same thing & it won't be creepy. Period!
Just life - getting older. The first time I was called creepy by a group of younger women was when I was in front of my home, planting flowers and new xeriscape grasses. The second time was when I was running hill intervals for half marathon training. Again called creepy by a group of women. Both times I was just silently minding my own business. I expect as I continue to grow older, balder, with a still too short body that I'll hear that word a lot more times.
Men who women don't find attractive are automatically labeled as creepy. Doesn't matter how old you are. Also women in pacts are the absolute worse. All it takes is for one of them to think a certain way and bam. They all think the same.
Had no idea about the touching people aa you pass them being a creepy thing. I do that often, to alert the person(man or woman) I'm trying to pass behind them, usually a light touch on the shoulder. Preciate the advice Courtney!
For me this was weird also... I thought I didn't understood her... Some people are very narrow sighted or just standing like statues just because they are the ones that are assholes.... and you do get annoyed and touch a bit with "excuse me" phrase... Its well deserved...know the surroundings, environment.. dont block the path or be surprised when someone wants to go thru .. so I think you are ok with this...
What is funny is, as a tall guy, I can tell you right now I know when a woman is hitting on me at a bar because they usually brush their boobs on my arms and stand close to me. You want to talk about how creepy things would be if the genders were reversed? Imagine a guy putting his junk on a woman he doesnt know in a bar...
Great topic Courtney!!! I wouldn't want an attractive woman I never interacted with to sneak up from behind and start massaging me. ( maybe in my fantasies but not real life, lol) Also ; I agree by not saying to any gal "where's my hug"? I think it's fine to ask for a hug ; or simply proceed with hugging a woman in certain special situations; but you should either be good friends or at the very least; have established a healthy connection with her.
Agree with all of the valuable points said. Its just too much trouble and time and bs to find out which one is cool or not and will she assume ur being creepy. No time for the games and female lames, so i just focus on my and doing my own thang.
Well said, Courtney. Pretty good breakdown of creepy vs not. And I agree that, unfortunately, the lines have been blurred in today's overly sensitive social climate of excessive labeling and "cancel culture," which isn't helping anyone. There are of course the more obvious signs of creepiness as you so described. But when the non-offenders are labeled as "creepy" just because of someone's subjective opinion of them (i.e. their attractiveness), that's where the communication breakdown begins. Thanks!
What if we have a really REALLY big dong and it hurts some women so we send them snapchat videos to make sure they would be comfortable with that magnum dong??? Asking for a friend..
It’s just as Courtney says, too much versus not enough. It’s like the pedestal. Women will lie and say they have a boyfriend when they don’t. Then there are the women who love a good morning text before date day, or after what you felt was a great date. Creepy is womens’ power word. They’ve co-opted bitch and bad ass, too as their power words. Best to tread lightly unless you’re looking for low value short term drama. Some women will placate just to be polite when they really mean “No!”. Stats are saying: Women waffle and will change their mind. Men do too. Shopping and not buying, just for the sake of looking is something a lot of women enjoy, and conversely most men go in and get out. Window shopping and retail therapy. Courtney mentions inappropriate touching as in without my consent from strangers, and I’ve had it happen a lot. I’ve had pics from women … and stalkers. And I ain’t gods gift, far from it. Women can be as territorial as men. I ask about hugs and I never touch strangers without consent.
![[柴犬ASMR]曼玉Manyu&小白Bai 毛发护理Spa asmr](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/0TsXQ7z2Dh4/mqdefault.jpg)
If you continue to chase after a woman when it's clear she isn't interested, that's definitely creepy and borderline stalker-ish. However, a woman who doesn't like a guy yet gives him the impression that she's into him because she like the attention she's getting from him is a toxic and immature woman and is the type of woman that guys, rightfully so, have a problem with in the dating market.
Nailed it!
and on the other side of the coin you have the women who like "the chase" or think playing hard to get is the appropriate way to interact with someone who likes them. honestly i think everyone should drop that like a boiling petri dish full of anthrax, whilst i understand the mentality its unfair to the men who cant mind read and the women who genuinely dont like someone.
I totally agree. And at the beginning, Courtney mentions us having a "fear of being seen as creepy" - there's no fear for me personally. It's literally understanding and accepting that the probability is stacked against us that a woman will do this kind of thing. Just not worth it anymore for sake of our mental health. I go off of chemistry and connection, if you're naturally put in a position of having a conversation and things hit off well. I don't randomly approach women anymore because I believe women have made this strategy obsolete.
Can be mixed: say it to their face, give em no retreat to bs around.
Have a colleague that gave off not being interested, neither was i but we had multiple work interactions.
She started poisoning the conversations we had, one time saying "you'll probably start hating me now" when we had an argument on a point.
I called her out on her bs on a letter and in two different ones explained that i don't want to do anything with her.
After a year we said it to each others face, yeah hindsight is 20/20, she started with "i think since i've been so nice to you you think i'm interested in you but i'm not".
She was so "relieved" after i said i'm not interested in her either, the third time i did that.
a year went by for her to understand that because i didn't say it to her face.
oh and another point:
She did not read my letters, she actually confessed that to me
Yeah one of my biggest fears is texting a woman and she looks down at her phone and rolls her eyes.
I've definitely been that guy before and I ended up so embarrassed I think I stopped that behavior, but I still fear it lol
In case you're in a hurry:
1. She thinks you're unattractive (doesn't mean you aren't attractive to someone else)
2. She's uninterested and you continue to chase her
3. Obsessive behavior (like blowing up her DM's)
4. Inappropriate comments / sexual harassment
goat 🐐
Thanks!
Regarding blowing up her DMs.. Serious advice to every guy out there.. Don't text/message women other than to meet up for a date or to hang out. Don't try to rationalize why you should date, what your feelings are etc. Only if you are having sex with a woman do you open up and text/message more otherwise you should be radio silent.
@Zachary Cole Women love things they don’t like. They might complain about the guy that never texts back I bet that’s the guy she is sleeping with though, I bet when he does hit her up she’s getting nailed by him the same day. I know it’s weird to us men, we can’t wrap our heads around it. But if you want to think like a woman you must get rid of all logic.
To the point of a woman thinking a guy is creepy if she isn't attracted to him, the irony is that most women will get upset when men say there's no point in interacting with them without a physical component. The reason this is true is because without it, they're judged the same way we would judge another guy which is to say, she needs to be interesting or useful. Even in relationships, most men only kind of finding his woman interesting because men and women are different and tend to have interests based largely on their sex. If the physical component was removed, the vast majority of those relationships would end instantly. As far as usefulness goes, again because of interests that stem from a person's sex, most of the services that men hire out, tend to be filled by men.
Explain this to a woman and watch her lose her mind.
I'm a woman. Just came across your channel. This is sooo refreshing!!
I think there are for sure a bunch of "creepy" WOMEN out there who are vindictive, mean and really mentally ill.
Men deserve BETTER. Alot of women have ... really terrible beliefs about men.
I had some too, when I was younger...thinking all that men want is sex, big boobs etc etc...
However, I got a job, where I am often the only woman, or maybe there is one or two other woman, and about a dozen or two or three dozen men are on the job.
Women... you all have some really really wrong impressions. I've come to not fear or be extremely suspicious of men - at all.
They are wonderful!! They have a much better sense of humor and they are WAY more in touch with their emotions than they are given credit.
I love and adore all these men. Respect.
Respect yourself and they will respect you.
Respect them, and they will respect you, and love you. ❤️
I started an internship last week and my tutor, a man a few years older than me, has been incredibly understanding and kind to me and another male intern, and I was really happy. All the other clerks there are women and maybe out of male solidarity, he's very patient and kind to us. Of course he's like that to the women too, it's just to say that he shows a very healthy kind of masculinity which I adore and isn't absolutely to be taken for granted
You should put on seminars for women.
"I think there are for sure a bunch of "creepy" WOMEN out there who are vindictive, mean and really mentally ill."
Exactly. But this society still has trouble exposing it.
Who, unfortunately, tend to get rewarded and or celebrated for their misbehavior.
Lol yeah im a woman who was the only lady also in a group of men at work
They actually did want to date me and some told each other they were in love while I was there to make money
Really disaapointing
So if that doesn't happen to you doesn't mean it doesnt happen to other women. Maybe your not that charismatic
One of MY personal favorites is when I used to work at a retailer, I'd greet a customer (Hello, how are you? or Hi, need help with anything?), and the immediate response would be an abrupt "Sorry, I have a boyfriend!!!" 🤦♂
You just walked into a place of business and declared your attachment to someone else SIMPLY because an employee did their job and greeted you or offered assistance? Makes perfect sense, skippy!
Sounds like a fun gag would be to get a ring, put it on wedding ring picture, then hold up your hand, brandishing the ring. You don't even have to say you're married. She will just assume with ring, ha ha, right?
Did you have a uniform on? Or was the dress code at your work causal to where someone might mistake you for a customer? Maybe those women didn't realize you were an employee?
@@carnationsensation Full uniform with the company name on the front and back of the shirt, on the front of the utility apron, plus on my nametag.
My only thought is maybe she's frequently hit on by guys in aprons? 🥴
Seriously, we've become so overly freaking sensitive these days. Whats just as bad are those who constantlyneed an ego boost. 2022 was horrible, we need to do better in 2023.
If she isn't interested, just bail! If she says she has a bf, BAIL! If she isn't responding to your texts, FREAKING BAIL!!
Start small, go out once or twice a week, meet them in real time! NO MORE PEN PALS, TEXT BUDDIES, DATING APPS, ETC.
Amen Tommy!
no if she doesn't have a boyfriend it's you vs 10 other "options" .... but if she does have a bf it's 1v1 kinda narrows down the scope and helps define your odds a little better lol
@@CourtneyRyan Excellent video, Miss Courtney. I will disagree on one point, the light touch in the small of the back as we're passing behind someone in close quarters.
I do this with both women and men, usually saying something like, "I'm going to squeeze past you."
IMO, it's not creepy, where brushing past groin-to-buttocks is. (Or buttocks-to-buttocks.)
It SHOULD be obvious if a man is just passing, versus wanting to act like a dog wanting to "rub" your leg.
Personally, other than shaking hands, the only touch I will initiate is like a touch on the shoulder or arm to get the attention of a waitress in a loud environment.
However, I have accidentally gotten a handful of, um, breast. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought the young lady setting next to me was falling, and just reacted by putting a hand out to try to break her fall.
I had an apology to make, and she was graceful about it. She had just suddenly bent over to get something out of her purse that was shoved back between our chairs.
So sometimes, the man may not be doing it to be "creepy," it's to avoid a more uncomfortable action.
You say "bail" Yet sometimes the people who don't bail.. who don't burn that bridge. End up marrying that person. Because Life is insanely complicated. Love is not a game. Stop treating it like one. Use good judgment and live your life and try and find Love and get to know people. Maybe the women was being completely ignorant about the guy and since he kept trying eventually it worked out. Nothing wrong with that on the guys end. And nothing is wrong with dating apps either. Meeting people in real life is so difficult because again... it's all just a game now. As a Man you can't even approach women these days. You can't just talk and get to know eachother and go out on dates. You need to have charm and do everything perfectly...
@Jordan Hansen OP is right, don't waste your time.
Good luck chasing a woman down who already told you she isn't interested for months and months. I'm sure you won't end up resenting her for your inability to accept what you don't want to.
Women get terrible dating advice generally but one good piece is "if he wants you, he'll make time for you" and the same is true for men. If a woman blows you off or tells you she's not interested, then fine. Walk away, you're more likely to get her that way anyway.
1. Be ugly
2. Be short
3. Be poor
If youre ugly and short, then you better have a lot of money to get women. No woman turns down a dude thats rich.
😅😅😅 sadly this is sometimes the case. As I mentioned, I think we’ve really watered this down.
Well good thing I'm above average in everything except for my height, but if you think being short is going to prevent you from getting girls, then it sounds like your mental fortitude is your biggest weakness and you need to fix it. I'm below average in height yet I'm balancing 4 women right now. Grow up and level up smh
I'm all three(maybe not poor, I'm well off but not rich just average) and women don't find me creepy for some reason
Being fabulously wealthy will cancel out 1 & 2.
Wow! Married guy here who wandered onto this video because it looked like an interesting subject in my UA-cam feed. What genuinely great advice this woman gives. There's no ego in it at all and it's coming from a good place.
I also really enjoyed reading through the comments. Although people have had their struggles in the dating scene, it's so refreshing to hear honest accounts. Hey, we're all flawed and most of us are trying our best in life. What more could you do or want? As I've told other people in the past, I much prefer to be around good-hearted flawed human beings than "perfect" people.
Thank you so much for your kind comment! Glad you stumbled upon my channel 🥰
When you come across one of those perfect people, would you kindly give me a call?
I'm a 68 yrs Black American and this segment is GOLDEN.
GOOD WORK.
There are a lot of creepy women out there as well. 1) Stalking 2) Clinging 3) Feel like you have a relationship with her friends and her, or in-laws and her, or both 4) She needs a sugar daddy or has daddy issues 5) She tests you too much at the wrong time: 'stands in front of the TV during a big game' and wants to distract you 6) She is constantly insecure 7) Women who constantly try to change men or make men feel they are the problem.
I once had a friend of a female friend that was screen shooting my fb pictures and posting them on her own page.
When they say creepy it's them projecting themselves.
If you’re not attractive you’ll never experience this as a guy. I know I never had.
Definitely,...i think this vid is advice for decent guys that may make some errors and come off "creepy" but not necessarily a creep outright,..those types need some therapy and serious self reflection and a different issue completely. This is just some common guidelines really,
@@brianwaller7383 then work on your attraction or deal with it
I had a woman who kept using me for a dopamine release. Every month or so she kept using me for conversation and then would ghost me. Id ask her to link up to hang out and she wouldn’t answer me. Then I’d leave her alone and she’d pop up again and again just to say hey. So I now ignore her cuz that’s toxic and immature of her to do. I realized some women do this because they get a kick out of attention and want their ego stroked. Be careful of these attention demons.
If you don't get a date from her in a few days to a week? Move on.......too many of them pull that crap now a days and too many Men are naive and got given unrealistic advice about Women and dating growing up or were raised by their mom or most of or all of the adult authority in their childhood were Women or the Men in their loves growing up were henpecked.
@@elijahwilson1422 the problem is they take for granted of the options they get while they r young and pretty. They take advantage of the market and play these games until their time is up. That’s when they come back around and say they “are done playing games” and r ready to be serious. That’s when u give them the rug pull and leave them to their misery. I now know to never play their game. Like u said if they aren’t cooperative off rip move on.
This nothing new, That the reason this song came about… music.ua-cam.com/video/XC9Y6bGQfT8/v-deo.html&feature=share
Keep well away from her.poison she is
@@elijahwilson1422 I usually give them a month to meet in person. Depending on the level of communication though. If you are hitting it off with someone and having a conversation every day then there is no reason why it should take forever to actually meet. Contrarily, if there is no communication really and they don't make an effort to get to know you then two weeks and move on. I personally don't meet girls that I don't at least talk to on the phone once or twice just to feel them out. You never know who you are talking to online.
I have been through this a lot. In middle and high school girls called me creepy out of the blue all the time, and it was so annoying because I never did or said anything creepy. Yeah, I wasn’t the best looking, I was 5’5 and overweight (reached 191 pounds when I graduated, but lost 14 after that), but I tell you, a lot of people will associate anything out of the blue with creepiness when they don’t find you attractive.
If they say that you are creepy out of the blue then they most likely are building their ego or maybe they even want your attention and don't find you creepy at all. Many good looking men are victims of such women.
Yup
There's nothing better than being called a creepy stalker by one of your university classmates publicly in front of your whole social circle for responding to 2 or 3 insta stories in months or years. Not even knowing that you sent does messages and received no answer. By someone who you actually thought highly of both personally and professionally. You try to fit in and make friends and that's what you receive being ignored, and being in total social isolation or called names. There's nothing better than having those two words play over and over again in your mind in an endless loop until you're inches from doing something stupid.... People do not think how damaging they can be even with a few words.
Stop caring what other people think. They don’t even like you and you are worried about it, you don’t need them.
I'm sorry what you went through that 😔
Thank you both. You know there's a period where you don't care yet what others think. There's a period where you've been through so much shit, name calling, loneliness and so on where you don't know how not to care. There's the period when this leads you to dark pits of hell, which does bring you back to not caring. Thank you both for the empathy. All this shit does make ultimately for a great screenplay and I do think that the lows are important parts of us that also makes us apriciate the beauty in life more. :)
Thats not right, and sorry you had to hear that from someone. Some women and people in general tend to throw around that word too loosely sometimes. You likely have plenty of people (or enough) that know who you are and that you are not like that. In the meantime just totally block that girl out of your life and dont give her any excuse to accuse you of anything. Its against the law for someone to make serious false allegations like that toward someone and they shouldn't be doing that to begin with.
@@deannamarie3746 I haven't seen or spoken with her for years. Last year I sent her a message telling her the kind of effect her words had on me. While also telling her that I think she's a good person. As I started writing my screenplay I wanted to copy that message out. She blocked me and she is probably in thousands of miles away in a different country. So I don't think we'll ever speak again.
I'm 61, so I've probably been there, done that. The worst rejection is being told 'you creep me out'. I was so shy in school I couldn't even talk to a girl if attracted to her. Patience is a must in today's world. I did ask a lady once if she needed a hug. It was meant to console and not meant in a sexual desire. That hug was the beginning of a 16 year relationship. I like the advice I hear, here. 👍🏻👍🏻🙏🏻🤗
There is a BIG difference between asking "Do you need a hug" as you did, and "Where's my hug?" as Courtney put it. The latter is an entitled demand. 58 in a couple weeks, nice to know I'm not the only old fart here. and I've learned so much from Courtney; only wish all her info was around when I was in High School.
@@kevinc1593 I am 58 too. I have hugged musicians, politicians, porn stars, Stormy Daniels. LOL!
If the hug started a relationship it was definitely sexual disguised as consoling. Just sayin..
@@4040smokey SSHHHHH
John, you seem somewhat simpy. Creepy vs. Simpy.
I live in a town where women seldom dress up. I saw a woman in a store that was very nicely dressed up. So I said, "Excuse me but I just wanted to tell you I think you look amazing." That was it. I wasn't hitting on her. I didn't ask for a phone number of even try to make small talk. My intent was only to give a compliment where I thought it was due. She called me creepy. So... I just don't give out compliments anymore. It is not worth the time or effort to be nice to people.
Had me in the first half. But yeah complimenting women is a waste of time.
Amen! I just see a hot chick, give her the old visual once over, silently fantasize for a moment and that’s it. Outside of common politeness…please, thank you, excuse me, they don’t exist. They did this to themselves. It started in the 1960’s with feminism and it’s gotten completely out of control.
Just don't be nice to women (especially young women). You can be nice to men and they'll probably genuinely appreciate it. You can be nice to older women and they will appreciate it too (at least in my experience), but it's even risky sometimes with older women.
@@johnsampson6387 Some women do appreciate a compliment. Courtney's advice and objectivity is sound and something well worth digesting.
Bingo buddy. Save your time and money . Stay clear. Also I don't even look at women because they always got their bitch face on anyway. Don't have time to look at that ugliness and negativity. The only thing like and love, well it's green, and it's called money , that is all I have time for.
I'm autistic, and so I don't deal with ambiguity very well. So, I've adopted a pretty simple approach. If I make a request, and the answer isn't yes, the answer is no. This would be a good policy to follow for any man pursuing a romantic relationship with a woman. If you ask her out, anything other than an explicit yes means no. Just walk away. Either she actually meant no, or she's a crazy person. Either way, you are better off pursuing a relationship with someone else. What if she says no and really what you to chase her? In that case, don't walk away. Run. Because she's special and not in a good way. If a woman can't communicate her thoughts clearly, she not ready for dating. She's not even ready to be an adult.
One other thing that should be added to the creepy list is catcalls. And this goes for both men and women. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman walking up to a man and asking him for a date. But when I was younger, and only moderately attractive, I had two different women yelling from their cars at me. They both had some complementary things to say about my rear end. And one of them offered me sex. Not the kind of gal I would want to take home to meet my parents. Yeah, women can be creepy as well. My advice for women who want to make the first move is to be clear and to the point about what you want. But don't be vulgar about. Ask for a date, but don't ask for anything else until after you get to know the man a little. For goodness' sake, buy the man a drink and have a conversation with him before you try to jump his bones.
There is a question that change me in a 180 degree , "Can you date yourself?" Analyze yourself and honestly ask yourself if you can be with someone that is 100% you, I could not so I change a lot of thing in the last 3 pasts months.
Courtney does have a number of videos that talk about how so many women just "can't find a good man these days" or otherwise seem to just have trouble in dating relationships.
The kind of woman that Courtney describes in point #1 absolutely deserves any difficulty she might encounter in the dating game. Guys, any woman who calls your normal (non-creepy) behavior "creepy" to boost her ego is T-O-X-I-C and immature. Do a 180°.....fast.
You're absolutely right, once a woman tells me that she isn't interested, I don't waste my time with the stuck up witch and hope that a house falls on her
I know, the problem is there’s not enough Billionaires to go around.
It's cause most of em are looking for 6ft 'Chad'....no matter HOW fucking stupid he is..........lmao............. Z
I don't have a problem with it... The problem I have is when random women label me "creepy" when I'm not even doing anything, just minding my own business and trying to live my life peacefully... My presence apparently makes them feel uncomfortable, so they try to label me a creep or give me a hard time sometimes. Whether it's my sub-Brad Pitt appearance or social awkwardness, I don't know...but my life is already hard enough without random women (who I haven't even spoken to) making it harder.
@@johnsampson6387 I kinda had a somewhat similar experience at school last week when I was doing nothing and eating breakfast, and a when a bunch of women sat down at the table, one of them mocked me for no reason after another one of them said “I hate men” despite the fact that I was minding my own business, and didn’t do nothing. It’s not exactly being called a creep, just as few woman being assholes and messing with people who are minding their own business instead of just leaving me the hell alone. I never said a word to any of those strangers, yet if course when a bunch of women sat near me, the only dude around, I have to be the one to get messed with or hear some sort of sexist comment.
Yeah, it’s not always a matter of misunderstanding, some people just want to be assholes to people that they find as different from them, even if the difference is just your sex.
1 not making six figures.
2 a 9 to 5 job.
3 asking them out.
4 existing.
1-4) If you are not Chad Studly.
I used to think I was creepy before I watched this video. I really did not think people would go to great lengths just to be liked and have a relationship. I do not think I know the bad habits many act on. Thank you for opening my eyes.
Powerful video Courtney thank you. I put this woman on a pedestal briefly and the next day I saw she did not respond to my morning text. So I didn’t text her for two days and she didn’t text me for two days. It was the best move I could’ve made. I sent her one text message in the afternoon two days later and just called out the shift that happened in our last conversation two days ago. And said I didn’t think this was working out. She agreed, and we parted ways amicably. It’s crazy how easy it is to be off putting. But I wasn’t in the creepy department and it’s because I have been watching these videos and learning so much. It was painful but I felt really good about how I handled it.
The reason the signals are confusing is because I've had girl co-workers tell me about their dating experience and sometimes they say, "So and so didn't try hard enough" or he gave up too easy. So we don't know if she is saying no or testing us to see if we give up too easy because if we give up too easy, then men come off weak. So the conundrum is, if you approach aggressively, then you come off creepy and if you give up too easy then you didn't try hard enough. What I find crazy is even average looking women in CA play this game; that is, they want to be aggressively approached by men because it gives them an ego-boost and attention. So they will make you chase after them and then say no, just to crush you because it makes them feel better, that they are wanted. I'd say 8/10 women in CA are like this. These are the women who never find a date and end up holding out into their 30s for the perfect man.. lol.
I guess we will just have to go extinct then
Move
Such a stupid game they play that needlessly tires you out. Refuse to be a part of it.
try harder these days could mean Finding yourself in Court/Jail too so its probably best to take at face value & move on, if you can be bothered to even pursue at all these days
Eh if they are in their 30s you don’t want them anyway
I totally get the hug thing. I had a friend who believed that hugs were for women and handshakes for guys. He was always hugging attractive girls at work. And you could see them cringe everytime.
Some woman are also into the 'business hug' or air kiss. I hate both in a business or professional situation. It's handshakes for all. Nothing more, nothing less, nothing else. For most women, I don't want you near my body, I don't want to be near your body!!
Modern women are truly leftovers. There is no point trying to understand these stupids. Dump and find traditional women in other coumtries in the only solution.
I'm a dude when I hear other guys do the "where's my hug at?" I physically cringe
He was not a chad 😆
Chad spiecies can get away with everything.
@@rj9617 They would love creepe joe with that power .😆
I can relate to what you're saying, when I was a teenager, had some older guy constantly at my workplace (this went on a long time) who almost every time I was at work would follow me around and stare at me, never say anything. I was so creeped out by that. I'll never know but would assume the guy wasn't totally right mentally. When you told your story about the gym and the guy touching you that is so disturbing I'm sorry you went through that. Can only imagine if the dude that was stalking me touched me.
Thank you Courtney for your videos, 🙏 Good Job👏👍
It's always a RELIEF to know you're not the only one experiencing something NEGATIVE, but it's a trend/phenomenon.
Since the inception of online CHAT, I was noticing the younger generation shying away(less skilled) from FACE-TO-FACE conversation/socialization & it was ALARMING to me; nowadays it has gone to the extreme
I believe dating APP was a FAD & people are less enthusiastic to use them for various reasons.
So people are left nowhere to turn to & formation of relationships are in DANGER.
Slowly but surely people are coming to their senses & returning to old ways, which for centuries before internet, human beings used to meet each other -- IN PERSON.
Programs like yours can be a great CATALYST to make this needed transformation to save human race.
Please keep up the terrific work🙏
Saying hi, I get called a creep. I quit trying make eye contact with any female when talking to them, I look in a general area past them. Being ugly makes me a creep. I am married and have zero interest in any female, yet I am creepy for even attempting to be friendly or just a half smile. Even my daughter's friends call me a creepy old man because I won't even look at or acknowledge them. It's quite confusing... I am a creeper for looking in a general direction of a female, saying hi, or not even look at them? I don't get it...
all interaction with women you arent related to is creepy
@@Sagefrakrobatik TIL basic human social interaction is creepy.
ban them for mixing her with her friends who dont respect you. They should be treated with cruelty
@D H no you ain’t, the truth is that al women are unhinged bipolar insecure psychotic head-the-balls
I suggest that you should treat everyone with courtesy like face them if they talk to you or just simply wave a hand or nod to them to at least acknowledge them. Simply gesture of acknowledgment that you see them should be enough. If they find that offensive or creepy then just pay no mind to them. Let them get upset on their own mind. I think over thinking about this situation will just tire you out. If they like then who cares. At least we treat them decently.
Added advice:
#1 reading the room and self-awareness. If you failed to read the room you can come off as creepy or weird
#2 Having desperate vibes will come off as creepy if she isn’t into you
#3 At parties, don’t approach from behind. Approach from the front and don’t immediately touch and have a good attitude.
Point #3 is a great one. Never approach girls from behind. Always approach a girl from the front when you want to talk to her.
@@nickp3949 Exactly and that way you can feel the vibe if she likes you or not. It’s just weird approach a girl from behind and she can’t even see you
If women are equal as men why can’t they just speak up
@onesoloving1 wisdom of the week, appreciated 🙏
In general, it amazes me how inept people are in general at reading the room for various things.
Thanks for being reasonable and giving solid advice. Def use the “don’t be creepy” tips for my professional life. I’m already married and don’t need to accidentally become the office creep.
You’re right. Far too many women think too much of themselves and label any guy who they don’t want to come onto them or even look at them as creepy. I’ve had to deal with this my whole life.
I'm college, there was this girl that always complained this guy wouldn't leave her alone. She would go out with him for a bit then be distant with him. One day, I was tired of her complaining about him, so I asked, "Have you ever told him to stop texting you and that you are not interested in him"? She sheepishly looked down and hesitantly said no. Me and my friend looked at her and said that's why he keeps going after you!
Dude, yes. Girls like this are just looking for attention from the guy she complains about and also from you as she complains about the other guy
Understand learning
The first point was super valid. What a Chad can get away with won't fly for a majority of guys so don't try to copy some of the stuff they do.
Some of the best advice I ever got was to stay focused on whatever you're doing in the moment and be yourself. Also don't stare at women or elbow your way awkwardly into a social situation. I think those are two of the biggest mistakes the average guy makes.
I kind of knew not to do these things all along, but it's good to get some formal confirmation on it. Thanks for all your advice!
Thank you, Courtney!
Of all your videos, this was the most meaningful to me!
This is because as an older True GENTLEMAN, I find more and more that everything has become creepy to a woman, except a guy with a fancy car and has lots of money.
I dress impeccably and keep myself well groomed. Up until now, my cars have been beat up looking, but they are mine and paid for!
Next week, I will be buying a convertible Camero in excellent condition. A real head turner!
I will be seeing what difference that makes over the next 3 months. I will let you know what difference that has made then.
Again, thank you, Courtney
A lost and lonely 58 year old True GENTLEMAN.
Guys, just remember; at the end of the day you are pretty aware of what is and what isn't creepy, I'm sure more than you expect. If you are respectful and understand when to back off you're perfectly fine. If she still finds that creepy after you do everything right, that's on her and it's a problem she has to work on.
I don't know man, I'm not hating on the young guns but a lot dudes and chicks in their early 20's are pretty socially retarded. Maybe it's an age thing but I think it's more of a living life online thing.
i like this here
Agreed!
"Creepy" is a relative, subjective concept made up by people. Back in the 60s, smacking your secretary on the caboose as she left wasn't creepy...it was just boys being boys. Nowadays, looking at a woman for more than 2 seconds is creepy (if you don't look like John Stamos, of course). From one extreme to the other extreme.
I don't approach women because I fear being seen as creepy, I don't approach them because I don't want them to see me as being not self confident. There is a huge difference. Plus, at my advanced age, why bother. My sexiest years are far behind me. Yet, women 40 years younger than I still show interest. Don't know why, they just do. Not all of them, obviously, but way more than I would expect...
Right. As we age we tend to have our pick of the femaIes, the problem is, we've been burned by them so much that we don't want them now.
Makes sense
I asked a female friend if its about behavior vs looks that makes a man creepy or not. She said yes. Its about the behaviour vs how he looks
Wish I new this list back in elementary. Being Autistic and having a communication disorder *unable to register Subtle cues. I've been called creepy all my life (smile, laugh, look) basically lived as a hermit in result of negative feedback over the years. Your chanel and videos have been Very helpful thank you 😌🤝.
I’ve always been self aware of giving girls their boundaries. I always keep my distance and once it seems the conversation is going nowhere, I just give a friendly goodbye. I then wait to see if she wants to continue the conversation, if not then that’s it.
I think not overstating your welcome is a great move, and if you think you had a good time you can write down your number and give it to her in case they want to contact you. If you really made an impression, she'll text you. But even if she doesn't text you, you're still doing something not everyone has the guts to do, which shows confidence and is a great reward by itself :)
@@tavrincallas3218 yes, it also helps not to be desperate.
Of course. If she doesn't put in an effort, she's not interested. Move on. Find happiness. Be happy. That's life.
It’s hypocritical because for a girl to get into our space people would not consider it creepy
I think a lot of perceived creepiness just comes from the man being nervous. I've been watching a lot the UA-cam channel More Plates More Dates, and he seems to agree with that theory and his proposed solution is exposure therapy. You stop being intimidated by women by approaching women until they no longer make you nervous and you start coming off as normal. He is probably right, but his solution is more easily said than done for most men today.
@@michaeldooley5398 Not that I disagree with your points, but trust me on this one: Women will and do try to "chat men up" if you are handsome and successful. It will happen to you on a weekly basis. Even married and engaged women would do that over and over again, no matter how clear you have rejected them.
No, creepiness is something that's totally inside a woman's mind.
@@andersnielsen6044 ah I've had women ask me out and I didn't even have job and I'm short and average looking.
@@SystematicMechanic None of the things you mention exclude being handsome and successful.
Absolutely. I see it in myself all the time because when I get nervous I can tell that I'm starting to look fidgety lmao
Which is miles different from chill me when I'm out with my friends and I can show my best side. A great tip my best friend gave me when I brought up a girl we know whom I don't really like but from the outside may look like we're dating was to try and act the same way with girls I like. He said something like "you don't like her, so you act normal and she enjoys being around you. Just do the same when you're with one that you like" and well, he's right
Hi, @Courtney Ryan.
Just discovered your channel, so no sure yet, but so far you seem to be a bit of fresh air in our current, confusing social environment. A welcome relief from much of the vitriol I encounter out there (from both directions). As I finish the life change that I'm currently going through and prepare for the next chapter, I'll be looking to your videos to learn this new environment and hopefully find some success.
No need to respond to this comment (assuming you even see it)---I just wanted to offer a word of encouragement for your work.
Thank you.
Thank you for doing this. I knew I wasn’t really a creep. You hit the nail on the head. I can’t believe it’s the norm for women to be shallow. Men are supposedly the ones that judge people on looks. I have to say that it does hurt my feelings that the woman that I love thinks I’m ugly when I put so much effort in to my looks. You can put a check mark for the females wining a point. I knew it was because I was ugly. I thought I had a chance because females can fall in love with men based on what they have done for them. I thought we just loved women because they are pretty. I thought wrong. I’m pretty sure you have a lot of stalkers. I can assure you I am not one of them. There is a price people pay for being nice, smart and beautiful. What ever guy you are seeing is a lucky guy. Im waiting to make a woman lucky. Thank you for telling the truth.🤝
On the flip side for the 2nd point, there are women who think men like the chase when we actually hate it and we want to know women like us or naw. I ain’t wasting my time with you, Becky!
Women created the notion of "The Chase", and it's designed to dismantle Patriarchy and to make the Man to be at her Mercy so that she controls him. Think about it... In a legitimate Marriage, shouldn't it be the Woman who is on her knees begging for Marriage!? In many eras past, this is how it was. The one who gets on their knees is the one in servitude.
Yup, and those women love to give mixed signals. It really sucks when you can tell a woman you are on par with is just indifferent with you and could go either way. This is honestly why half of women are going to end up single and childless by 30. It is also why guys have to pursue multiple women at once because of the games women play.
@brent4073 idk about Childless. There are women that are having babies with low lives that aren't worth a damn. Also, there are younger women now in days talking about how they would like to get pregnant by a random, good-looking guy and just be content with being a single mother.
i'm with you on that. i have always hated the chase and never understood why some guys liked it. i prefer, i put in the work to improve myself. that punches my ticket so date me without playing cat & mouse. otherwise f off.
@@marksmith4892 Yeah it just burns out energy and I can't tell you how many times I've heard Women (including in their 50's and older) say that the moment anything gets serious they lose interest and it's no fun anymore, since they get off on the idea of a Man wanting them and willing to spend ridiculous amounts of money on them, but never doing anything in return.
Hahaha man that was pretty good. I've seen so many guys do this sort of stuff.
On a bus one time... there was this young (early 20s ish) woman that had been taking my morning bus for about a week, at that point.
I always sat in the very back, so i had a perfect view of this interaction. One day a guy that also took that bus walks up to her. She's sitting in the front, on the right, inside seet of the two seats. He approaches from the back. Sits down next to her, instantly blocking her exit. First words out of his mouth. "I notice you when you started taking the bus last week, and have been trying to think of what to say to you." Very next stop 30 seconds later. She says, well... I gotta go. Pushes him out of the way and gets off the bus. He didn't even say much else to her. But, it definitely came out the wrong way as she got off the bus a good 30-40 min earlier than normal and it was -30 degrees C outside the bus. Next wasn't scheduled for another 45 min. She never took that bus again. Gentlemen. If you are a young guy and you want to cold approach. Run the lines past an older male, or younger female friend first. Screwing up an approach ruins it for other men.
My approach? I talk to every woman as if she's a married lesbian construction worker. I couldn't care less if it leads to anything more.
He dodged a bullet obviously,.
@@visaman that was probably 16 years ago. It takes a lot less than that for a young woman to get the *ick* from a cold approach these days. If you wanna cold approach a woman, perhaps first review Louis CKs bit about dating.
ua-cam.com/video/Qv0_eVsEBvA/v-deo.html
Thank you for the video I really appreciate you helping g the fellas out. Out of everything I only struggle with body language but recently I've been making the straps to fix that first by standing up straight but most of the time i don't know what to do with my hands so I have them either in my jacket pockets or pants pockets but again I hate doing nothing with my hands so if I'm not using them I rest them. The part about saying "where's my hug" I've received that advice plenty if times but never used it cause I thought if there are people like me who dislikes being touched then guarantee others don't like it either it felt like common sense if I want a hug I'll ask if they say no ok and move on after apologizing. I do have a question so I'm a natural skittish person but I don't always show it but I'm always looking around me and sometimes at work I'll look around and I'll look directly at my female coworker on accident she's brought it up too me before and ive said what it is I'm doing but id like your opinion is that creepy too you it feels like a coincidence that every time I get that urge too look around or up she's always there and catches my glance. Is that creepy too you? Let me know your thoughts.
*This is well-thought out and considerably accurate.
*Also to consider is either avoidant and/or anxious attachment syles. At times, can be highly insecure.
*Also to note is intensity. When a male literally states he is intense, then believe it.(This has personally happened to me in real life and social media)
*In psychology, this can be linked to Psychopathic tendencies.
*However, if there is a realistic connection, then time will tell.
Good topic. When my wife and daughter go to the gym they tell me about "creepy" guys. They don't mind the look with a smile or wave. They say the "creepy" ones stare or workout by them and look repeatedly but never smile or anything. I tell them guys do either because they like what they see but are insecure about approaching or they want you to acknowledge them to get your approval first. It's interesting hearing their point of view.
Bro some women not your wife and kid are annoying af at the gym and need to hurry the f up so I can get my set in and leave! Not lookin at you maam im waiting can u look at ur damn phone on another machine please?!?!
@@samsneadd 🤣 heard! We've got some of those. Dudes too! Before they started in the gym I taught them some gym etiquette to avoid being those people. They do pretty good. Put on their music, leave phones in the bag, and superset their exercises. I was impressed. My gym bros tell me that they put the work in. Sometimes the owners wife trains with them too. But hey, guys are going to look regardless.
Or maybe,like me, the women are hogging the machine and not even bothering to get off between their sets and I'm trying to work up the courage to tell them to let me get my sets in without being considered a creep for using the service i paid for.
Actions ALWAYS speak louder than words.
If someone is interested in you, you’ll know. If someone isn’t interested in you, you’ll be confused.
i was familiar with the phrase "REJECTION BREEDS OBSESSION" but after listening to it i think "OBSESSION BREEDS REJECTION"
courtney you are a pure soul sharing the real content.
cheers.
How did it come to this in society where there is a certain amount of seconds of looking at someone, yet not looking at someone at all is classed as creepy as well 😂might as well walk around with a garbage bag over our heads
Men are only viewed as creepy when she is not attracted to you. Thats all it is. If she is its not creepy. Not complicated
I do think this is true a lot of the time but it’s not always the case.
@@CourtneyRyan - It's the Dobler/Dahmer Rule
Girl dumps you, so you stand outside her window playing Peter Gabriel on a Boombox because that was the song playing the first time you had sex.
If she still likes you even though she rejected you -- you're Lloyd Dobler from "Say Anything..." and it will probably work out.
Do the exact same thing if she doesn't like you anymore -- you're Jeffrey Dahmer, and the local police will have a few questions to ask you.
@@CourtneyRyan I agree with you. I am trying to be the best version of myself! Dress well. Physical fitness. Confidence. Bank 🏦
A hot, six foot, billionaire could do creepy things that overcome the rest. Stop pouting.
@@Apeiron242 We're not talking about extremes,like pulling out a knife ,we're talking about a gesture's ''creepiness''factor being determined by the guy's looks
Is she attracted to you?Then touching is normal and welcome
Is she not attracted to you? i.e. You are ugly.Then touching becomes inappropriate and ''creepy''
Same action,different appearance,get it?. Stop pouting
I would add one more thing. If you ask a woman out and she says "no" and give you a reason, 99% of times it means that she isn't interested in YOU! It doesn't matter if she says she's not ready for a relationship, she's busy at work or her hamster died. She's just being nice and tries to avoid potentially awkward situation by telling you "no" without making it personal. Appreciate it! If a guy she finds genuinely attractive asks her out she will make herself ready for a relationship, find a time to meet him and forget about her hamster;)
Sorry, I'm washing the cat that night. Can't meet your. In fact, I wash the cat every night.
Courtney, you are truly a paragon of excellence when it comes to dissecting behavior between men an woman. You set a shining exemplar for all to aspire towards. Your content recently is truly eye opening, and I hope your name is spoken with reverence and admiration by all who know it in this niche. Don’t want to exaggerate but you are truly a veritable hero, a beacon of hope and inspiration in an often dark and troubled world.
Damn dude can you kiss her ass anymore you must want to be with her
Happy New Year 🍾.
I enjoy listening to your work, because of the honest and genuine nature.
As a 59yr old .an, I already knew these things, and am QUITE RESPECTFUL and AWARE of how to treat a woman, like a woman.
I look forward to hearing more from your site.
Peace-Love-Light,
Rich
As a recently divorced man in his late 40s I feel so lost in the dating world. Your videos are helpful, it's very confusing out there And I feel so much has changed in the 15 years I was married.
Yep!
There aren’t enough ways in the world to express our thanks/accurately capture how we feel about you and your vids, Courtney. You are a godsend.
I've learned if I stare I don't have a prayer or a chance in a million years. Micro stares are even worst.
thanks for the very helpful information. Definitely food for thought. I think i get too hung up on closing the deal so to speak and lose sight of whether I'm having a positive interaction. ie light and fun conversation. i also tell myself and my friends that men should see themselves as the prize to try and avoid being too needy. in practice, i think i forget this too quickly lol.
@courtneyryan thank you for what you do, truly. You’re a calm reasonable caring voice in a sea of obnoxious loud sleezy influencers yelling terrible advice in our faces. You’re a gem, and you hold a lot of value to anyone lucky enough to come across you
Thank you so much for the kind comment 🥹 I appreciate it!
@@CourtneyRyan Thank you for being understanding.
@@CourtneyRyan
thank you .
I discovered this channel 2 days ago and watched dozens of videos, that help me a lot improving my bad character traits and habits, as well as building my self-awareness. What I have to say is that serious, sincere and helpful women with depth of character like Courtney are immensely valuable for our society, while being the ideal wife material we should have in mind... Keep up the good work!
Thank you 🥹 glad you’re here!
I’m in a relationship so getting girls isn’t something I need to work on. I started watching because I wanted to dress better and wanted help with my fashion but some of this stuff helped be be a better boyfriend and I’m doing so realize why my girlfriend is the one for me. Definitely a helpful channel. Courtney is for sure the example of the type of woman that men should look for.
Before you even got to that part I was just remembering this one particular story from years ago. At this restaurant pub this young girl who couldn't have been any older than 18 was getting hugs from all her friends and this guy who must have been in his mid 30's at the time and thought he was being smooth says to her "where's mine?" Which of course she responds "I don't know you!" And then with his ego bruised he walks off mumbling "she wasn't all that great anyway". It was a very awkward thing just to be in the presence of.
Amen Courtney, you are once again sooooo spot on with the content in this video. Really enjoy your perspective on things and you provide much-needed confirmation and clarity. Thank You.
Oh and the "she says she's not interested" bit is also a bit tricky because they will say "I want to play hard to get to see if he's really into me" and other games. And then they complain that men are cowards because we take "no" at face value.
better to take no than to end up in court/jail on harassment charges.
I busted these prostitutes. So also their pimps
The average U.S. woman is 5' 3", 175 lbs and no one finds that creepy?
THANK YOU for giving the advice to NOT touch someone you just met, even if it's in a "friendly" or "playful" way. Guys can get themselves in trouble that way. Some women may be offended at a touch and make a scene. Some may not react much, but they could be genuinely afraid of you or at least uneasy. I've had strange/barely acquainted men do the shoulder massage thing (DON'T) and even though I flinched, I still tried to laugh it off because I felt like I was the problem and should be "flattered". But I was deeply uncomfortable and NEVER agreed to go anywhere with them afterwards if they asked. I've also had this done to me by women and hated it then too--actually the only time a stranger groped me it was another woman and I was just like...wtf. Don't go touching total strangers, it's not a good idea.
Interesting concept: creepy is specially about uncertainty - a potential misalignment between behavior and intentions. A scary person isn’t creepy (it’s just scary) and a harmless person isn’t creepy (just harmless), but creepy is when it isn’t clear which is which, and the uncertainty of that seems to triggers something deep and ignite a fear response in women. Which sucks for guys who can set that off, but is probably an evolved and useful response for keeping them safe.
I see. Then Moon Dong-eun wasn't creepy. She was just interacting with her enemies, ready to become even more deadly and sinister to her former bullies. A truly evolved response to keep Dong-eun safe.
To clarify, it's from what I gleaned on what you wrote and used a fictionalized character to determine if she was creepy or not.
The hand on back in passing can feel "creepy" but is often practical especially while navigating crowded, high energy spaces. People in crowds can unexpectedly move into someone else's path or gesture erratically which leads to all kinds of unfortunate interactions and misunderstandings. People are dancing etc. A gentle, momentary touch to signal your presence as you move through a space is gentler than a shoulder and can help minimize any number of much more uncomfortable situations. It can even ( often unintentionally) lead to organic meetings as the person whose back you briefly touched looks at you and realizes you just helped them avoid backing into waitstaff carrying a try or something.
Clearly Courtney would rather get body checked in a crowd.
@@soujemn5 Yea, this is a tough one. I too would rather body check a chick when collision is incoming, then make the effort with my hands for a softer impact (hopeing I land them in an appropriate spot. Cus i know if i had a chick, it would be WAR if some dude tried to do the same).
But ultimately, I avoid crowds all together.
I did a lot of that on my cruise to Alaska, it takes awhile to get your "sea legs."
@@jwg9338 It's really not. Glad it works for you but I think the brevity in passing is what works more than the elbow. Elbow is the worst! Maybe a shoulder? A gentle and BREIF hand on the back is better than an elbow ANYWHERE. It's the lingering and or caress that gets into creepy land.
I completely agree. It's something I've done a few times in very crowded establishments to create space rather than risk a full body impact.
How to not be creepy.
Step 1: Be attractive.
Step 2: Don't be unattractive.
creepiness overall would be the impression that she would have reasons to believe you're bad in bed or would be a bad father. that has to do with your net worth and your ability to basically sound "normal" and the 3rd being "knowing your expectations" because if you were good in bed you would already know what kind of girl you can pull in the first place. If something seems a bit "off" in that department you're creepy and probably should work on women who have lower self esteem who feel they deserve to be with someone as creepy as you. It's all a mind game lol.
Can you imagine how creepy the book 50 shades of gray would be to women if the character was poor and ugly lmfao it'd be some black snake moan, silence of the lambs type shit
@@Metaphix Exactly. Be attractive and very rich, and what 95% of men would be called creepy for suddenly is sexy. xD
@Mr. NoName Lady's of the night will take care of you.
@TheLarry Sounds like you've seen the Peyton Manning SNL office skit.
I already know there's no such thing as fairness and never has been and never will be but I know that one of the things I hate about being born male, born a guy, is how guys or men can easily or unfortunately be labeled creepy or weird in social situations or interactions.
A lot of guys can unfortunately be labeled that even when they never meant any harm and were never trying to hurt anybody. We were just trying to attempting to be social and making new friends and possibly trying to get a date or get a girlfriend.
It sucks because many of us are just never specifically taught in our adolescent years, teenage years, as to what is creepy behavior or what is creepy and what is not creepy, we just never learned, so people and society shouldn't be so hard on people who make dumb social mistakes that causes them to get labeled creepy or weird because they just never learned, they were never specifically taught or told as to what is creepy behavior and what is not creepy.
And women have the luxury of never having to be labeled creepy or weird in social interactions or social situations like men do, it makes sense as to why women never have to worry about being labeled that is because, since guys or men are physically bigger or on average a little bit stronger than women, that means in a woman's perspective, a guy can be perceived or interpreted as a possible threat or a danger, the reverse is never true.
It further enrages me because of the way it looks like, men are the only gender that need to mess up or screw up interactions or social interactions when it comes to learning how to do or getting better at talking to the opposite sex, because no doubt tons a lot of guys will have had negative or bad experiences of getting labeled weird or creepy by women just for approaching them, and even if men do become better at interacting with women, the wounds and scars of having been labeled weird or creepy just for improving their ability to interact with them will no doubt forever remain permanent for all eternity. And it makes me mad more because the way the man talks or interacts impacts his ability to attract women a lot more than the other way around.
Women can easily avoid that journey of getting rid of social awkwardness or social ineptness and still have options or still have a dating life.
it only adds fuel to fire in which it makes me more mad and pisses me off whenever people and society still think women have the better end of the stick when it comes to dating.
A lot of guys here are interpreting the idea - that you can only get a positive response from complimenting a strange woman if you are attractive - as something wrong and messed up. But the way I interpret that is that women don't appreciate compliments by men they don't know, but will excuse it or respond less negatively if the man is very attractive. We all operate that way. 90% of us are more likely to excuse negative behavior when it's exhibited by people we find attractive. It's very understandable and most of us are guilty of this.
Thank you Courteney for giving me a woman's point of view on this. I worked with a female who had a lot of bad days at work. Overwhelmed. Verbal. She would sometimes talk for over an hour when I clocked out about problems. I listened. Something I'm told is much needed. Don't try to fix it. Just listen. One day I delivered her mail at work. I heard crying. I asked if she was okay. Her back was to me and I came up to her and my hands touched her shoulders. She screamed "don't touch me!" This scared the hell of me. I was utterly confused. My act was out of concern and compassion. I wasn't trying to make a move on her. I got fired. Since then I've learned that I can't touch people at work on the shoulder, male or female. After my wife died I got full on body hugs from at least three members of management, only a couple of months prior. To say this is frustrating is the understatement of the year. I come from a small town. My family, my friends, my church hugs, touches, shakes hands, pats on the shoulder. It's a gesture of friendship and compassion. Nothing more. After my story got out people come up behind me and place their hands on my shoulder asking me if I'm ok. Their way of saying I did nothing wrong. It would be funny if it wasn't so serious. I'm blindsided by this.
@Tracchofyre Went to employment office and signed up for help on finding a new job. Told the nice lady my story and she began crying. She grabbed my hands (act of compassion) and I started crying too. Couldn't stop. Had to leave. Bawled my brains out in the parking lot for at least an hour. Another employee came out a couple of times to check on me in the parking lot. I think I had a full blown panic attack. I lost 9 people in the last couple of years including my wife. Then, I try to help someone and I'm branded some kind of pervert. I can't think of anything worse. The employment lady asked me if I'm scared of her touching me and I said I'm terrified of anyone touching me right now. I'm terrified of touching anyone. My pastor said don't even shake hands. I'm vulnerable. I'm grieving. And it feels like the predators smell blood. I realize I'm trying to cope and that it will take time, but seriously. ........ What happened to people?
@@nono-yesyesmaybe feminism happened. Men being too nice to nip it in the bud happened. Time to take it all away.
@@nono-yesyesmaybe if you live in California or New York or Chicago that could be it too people there are a different mood lol
@@2_572 She's from California.
@@nono-yesyesmaybe well shit lol.
when I worked at Walmart I was at the self-checkout paying for my lunch break snacks and I told the woman waiting to use the self-checkout next she could go ahead and set her items down on the stand, "I'm just waiting for this thing to print my receipt"...! she calmly said; "...yeah I could do that, I could knock you down and run you over with my cart"...! I thought "boy, this woman is kind of creepy"...? Lol's
I fell onto your video searching for Men's Cologne reviews and found the video pretty good, thank you. Oh, and I want to say you're a nice looking lady. Thank you.
I just recently discovered your videos...
Thank you very much for sharing your advise, I find it helpful and very solid .
I'm 5 foot 5/ 135 pounds and make a average salary. I used to get laid in my teens and early 20s because I did a bunch of drugs, sold a bunch of drugs, went to bars/parties, and had a rebellious attitude. Ever since I stopped going out much and keeping to myself, occupied with hobbies and such. Crazy women love a reckless guy, and now that I'm less reckless, I'm just kinda a abnormal fellow lol. I get it, I don't look hideous, there's a video of me on my channel. It's 5 years old so I'm ten pounds bigger but I was 125 pounds then lol. I give up, too much work, not enough reward.
I think we all wish there were more Courtney’s in the world.
Being yourself with a sense of humbleness. Being loud and annoying will label you as "loud and annoying". At work we get new people all the time that try to overly impress within the first 5 sentences of talking. Sometimes its fuxking creepy the weird stuff people blurt out while doing that.
Once again, another great video, Courtney. Absolutely right about attractive people naively thinking they can do no wrong. Worst attitude to land one in trouble.
everything I do is “creepy”, I just ignore women entirely.
☹️
@@CourtneyRyan but u just made a video a few months ago about what is creepy again :-/
You're not alone mate. I gave up long ago. The fact that love is an illusion doesn't help.
True 👏
🍷🗿 Based Sigma
Good video. I think men have been gaslit into thinking showing any attraction is creepy. It’s good to know a list of behaviors that you can avoid, to boost your confidence that you’re not creepy
If you have 500, 000 dollars no women will consider you creepy
@@craigsaunders9599 how will they know you have 500k? Do you walk around with a list of assets and hand it to her while you introduce yourself?
15 years ago when I was still single I got a girls number. She smiled and laughed at my jokes so I thought things were going well. I waited a day and then called the number. There was no answer. I left a voice message. I waited and called the next day thinking I must have called her at a busy time. Nothing again. I was such a naive young guy that I just thought there was something wrong with her phone or that she was busy. I kept trying every day for a week until she finally picked up and told me to stop calling because I was freaking her out.
I just couldn't understand why a girl would give me her number and then ghost my calls. I figured she'd give me a fake number or tell me "no" if she didn't want a call. I still laugh at how clueless I was at the time.
Wisely spoken. These things unfortunately has been going on for years. Thank goodness for social media these days to openly discuss this matter. Thanks for that perspective.
being ugly, being broke, being short, or being shy. it has nothing to do with what you say or do, but everything to do with how SHE see's you
Yeah, if you got a lot of money... chics forget about everything else. Sad!
Sparkly things make her forget about the rest sadly…
@Ruined Well, sorry about that. Honestly, girls just want the same things we want. They're just a little more complicated.
@@davesteadman1226 thats not necessarily true. If we go with the typical woman who wants a tall rich man with a lot of charisma, most men want something different. Most men want a woman shorter than them and could careless how much money she makes.
So what? Why would you waist your time on a girl who hates you for who you are?
Makes sense. Number 1 is true and all but just as she pointed out often it's hard to know. My rule if she says she can't go out for whatever reason like "oh I'm sorry I'm busy" I don't try again unless she suggests another time herself.
I remember one time I asked a girl for her number and she was like "oh I don't have my phone" and I was thinking "you don't need your phone to give me your number" but I knew she was turning me down nicely so I just said "okay, maybe next time you'll have it on you" and laughed as a way to let her know I obviously knew what she was doing.
There are a lot of women who are submissive though and they want the guy to reach out to them and to try and reschedule. I've given up on women thinking that way before, I would wait until a woman flat out doesnt respond to you. Women are always on their phones, if she doesnt respond to you, I guarantee you she didnt suddenly become a monk and she is no longer interested.
Was hanging out with this girl (that I approached at a restaurant) on my vacation cruise, we had good vibes, great conversations had some common interests, she had some interest in me as well. Of course my goal was to hookup this was vacation, but I was playing it cool and... not being "too nice" either. I thought was doing EVERYTHING right, we hung out that night... saw a couple live shows, bar hopping overall a great night.... we already made plans to hangout the next day. No close that night (I did try, but it was too early).
The next morning she got seasick on her morning excursion so she said she could not make our plans for that evening... I'm thinking whatever all good... there is tomorrow (the night where everyone gets dressed up in suits/dresses etc) . I texted something along the lines of *"I want you at your best, so best you rest for today, well hang out tomorrow. I plan to dress my very best"*... with those words I got GHOSTED and never heard from her or saw her again... shit... I did not mean for that message to sound sexual or creepy, but when you text something you have no control over how someone will perceive it. I think just the words "I want you" was maybe too much and whatever chances I had of getting with this girl were GONE. That or something else was going on.
I did hookup with another woman on that trip... but yeah be careful what you say guys... usually it's better to just say less/do less. The moment you give any kind of creepy energy it is OVER it does not matter how far along you got... I was well passed the cold approach (which is by far the hardest part) and all hangouts/social interactions up to the point of being ghosted were positive with almost no awkwardness.
Thanks again, Ms. Courtney. Valuable stuff.
I once opened with telling a woman on an online dating site that she had nice legs.. Yeah.. Well, I was recently divorced and had been out of the dating game since forever. Anyway, I was creepy on that one (and a few other occasions) but not intentionally. Also, I want to point out that some women can be touchy feely, but I don't find it creepy. I guess because I can still walk away without ever thinking about it again, or take it as a sign of flirting. But, if a woman gets too pushy, I find it pretty creepy, and I put a stop to that.
Another solid rule to follow: if you’re unattractive, any advances will be seen as creepy.
8:33 - 12:40 This part is VERY on point! Well done, Courtney 👏👏👏👏
Hey Courtney! Can you do a poll of how common men who actually approach women receive really harsh rejections? I find in my experience that most of the women who have rejected me have done so gently and subtly, even in cold approach. However, I'm not a handsome man by any means but I'm also not a sub-5, so I'm wondering for those who are considered truly ugly (and not just feeling bad over insecurity) how often do over-reactions happen when you do approach a woman to say hi cuz that experience could be a lot different than the kind of rejections I would usually get.
Most of my in person rejections have been:
* Pre-emptive: I've literally had women tell me they have boyfriends or they're not interested without me showing an ounce of interest. Some I would have flirted with, some I would not.
* The subtle threat: "I have a boyfriend" is not necessarily a threat, but it absolutely can be. But "My boyfriend over there" or similar are pretty much exclusively threats. I don't get how there IS another interpretation, when a "no, thank you" or even the aforementioned "I have a boyfriend" do the same job without the direct implication.
* Mockery: I've had women I talked to just make fun of me. Even I'm not witless enough to think this isn't a rejection. I once started chatting to a guy at the bar, he was obviously talking down to me (just a snooty prick) but I always try to be friendly, girl walks over and starts making fun of me and telling the guy to just leave. I'd wished her a merry Christmas earlier in the evening, which was apparently enough to justify continuing rudeness. Think this was more a class issue, but my working class accent does not mean I'm dumb... (I've always been scholarly, top 3% through school)
* The "I love you as a friend." Totally acceptable. Some are still my friends, some are not. (note: this is similar to the preemptive, bc I have yet to ever "shoot my shot" with a female friend. I tend to like them too much as people to risk undermining the friendship)
* The deflection: "I'm not ready to date right now" (probably the "gentle let down")
* The "we're not dating, we're just meeting each other in a public place to spend time together and see where it goes" (dating without dating. Most frustrating of all imo)
* Ghosting. This one is I think very common.
Best rejection I ever had was being given a hug, told they felt flattered but they were taken. Was very sweet and genuinely left me feeling better for having asked.
Basically, I get rudely rejected when I ask more often than not.
But if I just talk to them without any implication of interest, I'm more likely to be treated positively. Especially at work women consistently compliment my attitude (especially younger women. I think they find my formality and guidance reassuring)
Even more funny is that "wives and girlfriends" warm to me immediately. I'm quirky and friendly. But even women I'm close to will make disgusted noises if even a joke is made about romantic compatibility with me (everyone knows I have a thick skin, and I'd NEVER betray that this is the one area I'm actually sensitive, bc they really don't mean anything nasty by it. I'm sure they'd hate it if they know I was upset)
@Dm Gray gonna be honest dude that sounds like most of the rejections I've been through. Preemptive rejection happened on middle school and some college. The subtle "my boyfriend is over there" idk enough context if I can count that as a threat cuz I would interpret it as she's just telling me her boyfriend is nearby. I definitely experienced that but never took it as a threat tho I just leave once i hear that which is the right response anyways. I have been in situations where I have talked to girls and then their bfs show up to talk to me. What I do here is be friendly with the bf and either excuse myself or let them leave either way I pretty much leave the interaction on a positive note.
I never experienced mockery thought but yea some ppl are dicks like that, but it sounds like you and I share most of these experiences in rejection. I was more or so talking about harsh responses in contexts where you do approach a woman and make your interest clears and she responds with more venom than just "no" or even the subtle examples you've pointed out.
@@GregXHunterz
I suppose it depends on your perspective.
To me, open mockery is pretty toxic. Disgusted faces and abrupt dismissals are also fairly common.
I don't necessarily even think it's conscious or intentional.
I can absolutely sympathise with a woman just not wanting to be bothered.
It's just the flip side is if nobody EVER bothers them, how are they gonna date? Because not many women are take the initiative :P
The "my bf is near" can ONLY be a threat in my understanding.
Might be informed by the number of times I was assaulted in school by arseholes for DARING to be friendly to a girl (and I knew some sweet girls that dated some *genuinely* awful guys)
What else COULD it mean? I didn't ask directions :P
It's not EGREGIOUS and I understand it (especially if a girl is fed up of being hit on, knowing that the guys that approach the most are likely also the least socially aware) but it is what it is.
@@DmGray People are rude as hell. Pre-emptive: One time one said to me "Don't even think about it I have a boyfriend". All because I looked at her.
I told her to F off. So she calls her boyfriend and he shows up and start asking me questions and I tell him his girl is rude as hell and he's like "I don't care".
So I ask him if want some sht and he says NO.
In my experience the only rude ones are like if I'm trying to get somewhere and I need their attention so they can move out of my way and they go "uuuh I have a boyfriend" and if you think about it it makes sense.
Someone who is clueless enough to think I'm approaching would also lack the social grace to be polite if that were the case.
One thing to consider is that Courtney is an introvert giving an introvert's perspective. If you're dealing with a woman who's more extroverted, she might be more open to some of the things--like establishing light physical contact early on, or flirty/sexy jokes--that Courtney feels are a hard "no" in the early stages. Both perspectives are valid of course. This is why men really need to work on their ability to read body language and understand word selection and voice tone, so you can pick up quickly on what's working and what isn't and adjust appropriately. Because if you treat the extrovert like you're dealing with Courtney, she'll think, "Oh I guess he's not interested," and if you treat the introvert like the extrovert she'll think, "Ugh he's so pushy"
Great, so all we need is an extroverted counterpart to Courtney to tell us the other side of that coin
In late November, I was at a football game, sitting at the end of a row. A woman (probably mid-thirties) sat next to me, on the steps. I mean right up against me. A total stranger. We made conversation . We held hands a bit, then she got up and continued down the steps to the concession area. On her return trip, she paused again where I was sitting and there was more hand holding. My male friend said to me “You really do make friends everywhere you go.”
I think attractiveness has as much to do about actual appearance as it does about making a good-faith attempt at caring for your appearance. Not everyone can be a model or have to look like one. Good grooming and decent clothes (not necessarily expensive also not rags and not all wrinkly) go a long way to showing you care about your appearance and are making an attempt. There are many guys that don't care at all or make any attempt to improve their appearance. Just trying will put you Leaps and Bounds above all these other men.
When I find myself in times of trouble, Courtney Ryan comes to me
speaking words of wisdom, let it be ...
Good points...unfortunately way to many guts have been taught that that's what they're supposed to do.
Women have aggregated this by encouraging this behavior by their " playing hard to get" games and attention seeking behaviors
speaking words of wisdom, you’re creepy.
The 2nd point is so true. If she’s uninterested or if she rejects you, just move on! Read her body language or the words she says to you. Don’t chase her, it makes you look weird, obsessed and desperate.
And if she's a complete bitch to you about it she's not worth it.
It's for your own benefit, too. You get an emotional sunk cost analysis going on in your head. This is also why you shouldn't sit on your hands for too long before you approach her. The more time you focus on her, the bigger the letdown if she's not into you, and the bigger the chance that you ignored someone else who'd be into you.
Yep, unfortunately a lot of men in the comments are acting like how they always complain about women act.
Weird and entitled, you're not going to get her by chasing her down.
You'll actually do better if you're nice, polite, and unbothered when you get rejected. I've heard horror stories of dudes being rejected and flipping out (and I've lived horror stories of rejecting women and them spazzing) and just by being normal you give yourself such a heads up.
"Just move on" is just bullshit advice. Move on to what?
@@Aaron-kj8dv stop being a male feminist
Stop blaming men. No matter what you do or say, if a woman isn't attracted to you she will automatically think it's creepy. If she finds you attractive, you can do or say the exact same thing & it won't be creepy. Period!
Just life - getting older. The first time I was called creepy by a group of younger women was when I was in front of my home, planting flowers and new xeriscape grasses. The second time was when I was running hill intervals for half marathon training. Again called creepy by a group of women. Both times I was just silently minding my own business. I expect as I continue to grow older, balder, with a still too short body that I'll hear that word a lot more times.
Men who women don't find attractive are automatically labeled as creepy. Doesn't matter how old you are. Also women in pacts are the absolute worse. All it takes is for one of them to think a certain way and bam. They all think the same.
Had no idea about the touching people aa you pass them being a creepy thing. I do that often, to alert the person(man or woman) I'm trying to pass behind them, usually a light touch on the shoulder.
Preciate the advice Courtney!
Most men don't touch enough. This channel doesn't actually give good advice. Keyboard Jockey bullshit.
For me this was weird also... I thought I didn't understood her... Some people are very narrow sighted or just standing like statues just because they are the ones that are assholes.... and you do get annoyed and touch a bit with "excuse me" phrase... Its well deserved...know the surroundings, environment.. dont block the path or be surprised when someone wants to go thru .. so I think you are ok with this...
What is funny is, as a tall guy, I can tell you right now I know when a woman is hitting on me at a bar because they usually brush their boobs on my arms and stand close to me. You want to talk about how creepy things would be if the genders were reversed? Imagine a guy putting his junk on a woman he doesnt know in a bar...
Great topic Courtney!!! I wouldn't want an attractive woman I never interacted with to sneak up from behind and start massaging me. ( maybe in my fantasies but not real life, lol) Also ; I agree by not saying to any gal "where's my hug"? I think it's fine to ask for a hug ; or simply proceed with hugging a woman in certain special situations; but you should either be good friends or at the very least; have established a healthy connection with her.
Agree with all of the valuable points said. Its just too much trouble and time and bs to find out which one is cool or not and will she assume ur being creepy. No time for the games and female lames, so i just focus on my and doing my own thang.
Well said, Courtney. Pretty good breakdown of creepy vs not. And I agree that, unfortunately, the lines have been blurred in today's overly sensitive social climate of excessive labeling and "cancel culture," which isn't helping anyone. There are of course the more obvious signs of creepiness as you so described. But when the non-offenders are labeled as "creepy" just because of someone's subjective opinion of them (i.e. their attractiveness), that's where the communication breakdown begins. Thanks!
I've been needing this tutorial on how to be creepy! Thank you so much! ❤️👴
What if we have a really REALLY big dong and it hurts some women so we send them snapchat videos to make sure they would be comfortable with that magnum dong??? Asking for a friend..
Women are all over for you right?
You have to keep them way............... it happens all the time to me man
It’s just as Courtney says, too much versus not enough. It’s like the pedestal. Women will lie and say they have a boyfriend when they don’t. Then there are the women who love a good morning text before date day, or after what you felt was a great date. Creepy is womens’ power word. They’ve co-opted bitch and bad ass, too as their power words. Best to tread lightly unless you’re looking for low value short term drama. Some women will placate just to be polite when they really mean “No!”. Stats are saying: Women waffle and will change their mind. Men do too. Shopping and not buying, just for the sake of looking is something a lot of women enjoy, and conversely most men go in and get out. Window shopping and retail therapy. Courtney mentions inappropriate touching as in without my consent from strangers, and I’ve had it happen a lot. I’ve had pics from women … and stalkers. And I ain’t gods gift, far from it. Women can be as territorial as men. I ask about hugs and I never touch strangers without consent.
@@Mett19 bro who are you replying to? It's just a joke, save us the dissertation.