We previously made a video on "The Rise of Female Loneliness." There were a lot of heartfelt responses that we are shedding light on a topic that's less talked about and sometimes stereotyped. There were requests for us to cover "The Rise of Male Loneliness." As promise, here it is. Today also marks International Men's Day. International Men's Day, celebrated on November 19, is a global event that focuses on promoting positive male role models, celebrating men's contributions to society, and addressing issues faced by men. It's about encouraging conversations around mental health, gender equality, and breaking down stereotypes about masculinity. The day aims to highlight six key pillars, including improving gender relations, promoting well-being, and recognizing the value men bring to families, workplaces, and communities. It’s not about competing with International Women’s Day but complementing it by encouraging mutual respect and understanding.
A man can have nobody around him accept his old lady and he's fine if a man chooses properly his old lady is all he needs why? Because we don't rely on other males it's ok to have male friends but not necessary a woman is necessary she provides ultimate companionship you can spend time with your best friend and have sex with that best friend you bond with a woman more deeply than another man because sex and a romantic love is far different than having a brother meaning friend and a woman sees a side of us that others don't see the bond with the right woman is superior to any other relationship in this context
@@eugenekrabs3837 What you’re describing highlights the deep emotional and physical connection that can come with the right romantic partner. A healthy bond with someone who sees and accepts every side of you-flaws and all-can feel unmatched. That level of intimacy, trust, and companionship does hit differently compared to friendships. Still, it’s worth remembering that no single person, even the right partner, can meet *all* of our needs. A balanced life often thrives on different types of connections-romantic, platonic, or even personal independence. ❤
Surprised you guys actually acknowledged that it was today as 99% of people don't acknowledge or care about men or their issues, so thanks for posting this Also I wanted to say I'm surprised that it was stated that male lonliness is being talked about alot as from my perspective, male lonliness is normally put down or treated as a joke and not talked about seriously unless in a toxic incel community.
This, and the fact that the top posts that I found about international men's day (which was yesterday btw) being about hating men _really_ puts into perspective why guys don't speak up about their issues. It's like you can't unconditionally uplift men in a positive way. Some people are already being hateful on here.... that's just sad
@Wichnam I'm just afraid, afraid of what's to come in my life with trials such as this. I'm afraid nobody will care at some point and that once I'm not useful anymore I'll just be thrown away being no more than a thought. Afraid that if I show my true side, others will see me as weak and pathetic (when it's obviously not true)
@@javanhernandez5690 And what if they see you as weak and pathethic? Why should that stop you from showcasing who you are or can be at times?... It takes strength, to showcase weakness that one else is trained to hide. And should those who deny you because you dare to have the strength to break out and showcase you have that, then can you call those people friends? Now we all struggle with our heritage. And we cannot all be a Musk, or a Trump, or any type of person of large status that has this legacy... But even they. In X amount of time, will be forgotten. Sounds harsh no? Because it is, but also. It isn't. What matters is the NOW... the HERE... the what YOU do with the time you have left still. And if that time you have left, you could make a person smile, or even have just a simple nice conversation. Isn't that worth more than some legacy?... Because if you think on it, everything one does, leaves a legacy. Every item you bought, every gift you gave. It leaves a bit of yourself somewhere. (And yes, I am not a trained professional, nor am I super at english. All I ask and would say is: You are worthy. For how little time it may have been or is. Every creature on this planet is.)
I hear you-it’s tough when friendships drift, especially when you’ve shared a lot in the past. It’s like watching something that once felt really solid start to fade. But the fact that you’re reflecting on it shows you care, and that’s a sign of growth. Sometimes these changes in connections open space for new ones, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. It’s okay to feel sad about it-it’s part of navigating relationships, especially when they shift.
@@Psych2gothank you for telling me this. You're the only I can really be ok with w a tching without having to deal with a bad fandom or something these days.
I'm sorry to hear that. I'm female. I desire a connection with a man. But every time I try I get so much disrespect towards my gender that I feel like the connection is superficial and I am just getting played for intimacy.
@ I'm sorry to hear that. That must be very tough, I hope people that are like that will learn not to do stuff like that, it can and will a lot of the time Hirst someone a lot.
A good tip I gave a friend of mine who was passing through the same or similar to you was to meet new friends. He was placing all of his expectations on a group of friends to satisfy, when he gave himself the chance to open up and share his likings with others he felt more complete and had more connections than before. Good luck on your journey man
@-Burningzilla_YT- no,being alone is having no one close to you,it's something physical, while being lonely is FEELING alone,it's not physical,thats basic grammar,being lonely is not feeling understood,while being alone is being alone in a room,one can be lonely and alone or have people around them but one who is alone can't not have people around them
I can honestly say I've been in a group of people and felt totally alone and uncomfortable, just to come home later, hop on the couch and hold my dog for 45 mins and feel better than I did the entire time... and then consciously choosing to not go to group gatherings just to feel like I belong, because that's never the answer.
What friends? I have none. What brother? He attacked me with a knife. What father? I have never had a good relationship with him my entire life. What partner? Never been able to develop a romantic life. My life is in shambles. I am more than lonely, I am unwanted. Some people worry about a fear of missing out, I already missed out on a life I was present for.
Hey, I'm going to delete this comment later but just so you know: It’s okay that your life is the way it is right now. Blood family doesn’t have to be your family. I had to realise this too. You can have a found family as well. But to have that, you need to find friends. Maybe go to a support group so you can talk with people who feel the same way. Go to therapy and talk through your trauma and feelings. Then maybe you can go to activites you're interested in. You don't have to keep doing them, just try them out. And if you like it, keep doing it and meet people who also enjoy doing that activity. And when you start healing, start to love yourself more. Having a partner should be at the bottom of your list. You should first start to love yourself before you give love to anyone else. I know, it's not easy to do all that stuff. I'm not one to talk since I have to do those things myself. But that doesn’t mean It’s impossible. Sending you lots of love and a big hug
@@rikitikitavatiki It's not pretend things are fine, things get better. If it's hopeless it'll still get better. Shit won't be perfect but it will get better. I've had great troubles and things still got better and they will continue to get better. Just need to take one of the million steps you can take to make yourself feel better, make the world better, and to be happier.
I’m a veteran. I’ve felt like I’ve always been alone. Especially since some of my best friends are gone. I feel like the world left me behind and stuck where I am long ago.
I'm a veteran too. There's a lot of resources out there to help us both public and private. I used some of it myself and was able to move forward. I am not sure what types of help you need but you don't need to go through it alone. Stay strong brother
I’m truly sorry you’re feeling this way. Being a veteran comes with unique challenges, especially when it comes to loss and adjusting to a world that doesn’t always understand what you’ve been through. It’s hard to carry those memories and feel like life has moved on without you, but you’re not alone in this. There are people and communities who care and want to support you-you’ve already shown incredible strength by sharing how you feel. Please consider reaching out to a veterans' support group or someone who can listen and help. You deserve connection and understanding.
And to be honest if you want to,hit the phone chat line..It's mostly lonely women looking for something serious.Its not like these dating apps or social media
@@youtubetest2233I as a girl, I’m sure you will find one. I’m not so old I’m only 16 but I know that you will eventually find the one 😊 I hope it goes well for you !!✨🥹
I just found this video today, and then saw the female loneliness one as well. I feel bad for everyone dealing with this. Whoever is dealing with loneliness, please don't give up on yourselves or others. I don't have much more to say than that. I wish you all the best!
When you are older no one wants to hear about your problems. Men, women it really doesn't matter. It's almost impossible making deep connections in a society where everything is replaceable and disposable. This includes people. The world changed . I am 52 and I watched it happen. Life before cell phones and internet was simple. No perfect but real.
I am sorry to hear that you feel like that. I am not as experienced as your life path has been and I can't speak to even imagining what life may have been like before the digital age. Indeed, I can't even speak to what sort of challenges you must be facing now to be in the situation that you are in right now. But I can relate to that feeling that no one can or wants to connect with you and I am sorry that you have been experiencing that. It's not fair how much the world has become obsessed with self image and feeling that they need to impress others or that others must come to them on their terms and I hope they you will find ways around that as you continue through life. I personally believe that technology has been a blessing as much as it has been a curse and I am certain that with the right methods, you will find that connection that you refer to again. I am confident that with time you will get someone's ear again. You've made it this far so clearly you're doing something right. 🙂
I cryed watching this, especially after going online and reading about all the hatred revolving around International Men's Day. Also, from my personal experience; self improvement only goes so far, it doesn't necessarily ease the pain or solve the problem. Been doing that half my life.
28 years! I always felt alone, no matter where I go. Sometimes, even I'm lonely around my family. I'm different, always have been. Never been part of a crowd, always single and been friendless for the longest time. To others, I always feel invisible, unheard, worthless, unimportant and... just overall disliked. I feel one of the real reasons why I struggle mentally was because of my endless loneliness. It just really hurts not having anybody by my side.
I get how you feel. Loneliness sucks, especially when it feels like you’re always on your own, even when you’re around people. It’s tough when you feel invisible and like no one gets you. But, honestly, that doesn’t mean you're worthless or unimportant. Sometimes life just kinda feels like that, and it hits harder when you're already struggling. You're not alone in feeling this way, even if it seems like it. Things can change, and you can find people who truly get you. Just takes time.
Growing up in the "All Men Are Dogs" era, and being told that I'm worthless and replaceable, for a good 20 years, not to mention being a 5'7" nerd, of course I'm alone. General consensus is that I deserve it, because I'm simply not good enough. A lonely man isn't a problem. If he doesn't simply do "better", it's all on him. Nobody really cares.
I feel for you because I'm right there with you. The gym helps. Walks in the park and just saying hello to people helps. It's difficult to imagine a different life, but it's possible to get. You can get back out there. Hell, for me it was turning on my mic in public matches in overwatch and just trying to be positive toward my team.
Women get special rewards while men special punishments women built this toxicity now they are reaping what they sow and blaming everyone else for what they have done brother don't listen to the empty hateful words of dumpsters see how you can better yourself see how you can fight they hate you because they put you in the same category as the thugs and hoodlums they have been run through by and left in the dirt because they never loved her
Yeah, be careful about that. I’m 5’2, and some “blackpill” guys were basically trying to get me to give up on life Having already been down a similar rabbit hole, I didn’t wanna go down there again
You can't even go online anymore without seeing one comment saying how much they hate/blame men. It really hurts to see. I get we're not perfect, but there's a disturbing vitriol and generalization towards males.
Well, why do you listen to these comments? Im sorry, but if you take the opinions of random losers online that close to heart, then the problem might be yourself. A few bad individuals you saw online doesnt mean the west has fallen.
The thing about those people is they have been ran though by the most toxic bad boys and left in the dirt now they blame everyone but themselves for what happened they are just bitter old fools
The important thing is to take heart. Women, especially now in the US, are upset that the world continues to disappoint them, disgrard their autonomy for all the progress thats been made theres, unfortunately, a very, VERY, vocal population that wants to and has the influence to take things back. It will not be easy at first, but so long as you remember and stay true to yourself, know in your own mind that you arent the vile kind of man they rightfully rebuke, then know theu arent speaking to you. Realistically, these folks who have hatred in men are hurting. By understanding they are, it helps make sense of things. Rise above these people, treat others with dignity and respect. And you will nurture your own.
because they dont realize that anti-male rhetoric doesn't harm bad men. the evil men don't care about you going on a diatribe about how men are evil. it's the nice, normal guys catching strays that end up becoming radicalized by such vitriol.
For the lonely guys out there, I'll just second what's being said here at the end especially. I'm 42, male, and I just came out of 2 decades of deep, dark depression and Passive SI (occasionally dipping into Active). First, get outside. Seriously. Get sunlight, in your eyes and on your skin. Doesn't have to be for super long, and take care not to overexpose yourself, but that stuff matters. Tend to your hygiene. Eat good/healthy food at least once a day, or as much as you can manage/afford. Junk food and high carb stuff makes it worse. EXERCISE. For real. Even if it's just a little bit at first. I had a hard time because of injuries, but I went for short walks, then longer ones. I'm doing 3-5 miles a day, 5 days a week, working out 3 day a week. It has made a WORLD of difference in my mood and mentality. Learn about your childhood wounds and the damage they do. I've discovered I was suffering from symptoms of Complex PTSD, Anxious Attachment and some other things that come from the development period between birth and toddler. They can be improved, if not outright fixed, but it takes effort, knowledge and often, someone to talk to. Maybe see a therapist or counselor. Or a religious leader, trusted friend, parent, whoever you feel safe doing that with. Don't hold everything in. Emotions don't go away when you suppress them, they just come out in other ways that hurt you, make things worse, or hurt others you care about. I've also found breathing techniques like Box Breathing, 4-2-6-2 breathing really help me get grounded when I feel overwhelmed. Mindfulness and breath meditation pretty regularly, along with some emotion and gratitude journaling have also helped tremendously. Hopefully someone finds at least one of these to be helpful. I still haven't fixed everything, or found the woman I want to be with, but that's the beauty of it. As long as I'm still here, it's not too late. I'll end with a slightly out-of-context quote from one of my favorite book series (Wheel of Time) that I've adapted for my own meaning against my struggles with SI and depression: "Almost dead yesterday, maybe dead tomorrow. But alive, gloriously alive today!" Don't give up, guys.
Time to move on, leave your toxic place, I promise it's not the whole world like that. I wish someone had told me this fifty years ago. Maybe I wouldn't have had such a shit life, 😢
The only ppl I call friends are those who message me as much as I message them, even if it's just sending memes and reels. At least they think about me 😂, by they I mean like two ppl
As a male I tell people how I feel, but they just turn around and tell me I'm being dramatic. I tend to slip in as jokes and it may be heard, but nobody truly listens.
This is a great topic, but the constant qualifiers of “Oh btw the way, women feel loneliness too!” We know this already. You already did a video on it. It feels like whenever issues about men are talked about, there’s always that asterisk afterwards that slightly downplays those issues. And when it’s done in reverse about women’s issues and you say “men go through things too” you’re seen as belittling the experience of women by going what about this? Let’s have something that’s ours for once please. 😅
Female loneliness is mostly self-inflicted, free of external interference. Whereas male loneliness is mostly a biproduct of the society men reside in. So yes, male loneliness is a far greater issue than female loneliness, actually. And to pretend that it's not reeks of virtue-signaling.
The fact you felt the need to put a disclaimer when addressing this subject is a good start to finding out why we have this problem. Got to maintain that DEI, right?
Ill admit im pretty lonely most of the time, but i also have to admit a lot of it is my own doing. And so im stuck on this loop where i treasure my alone time but desperately want to share my moments with someone. But life is long and very strange. You just walk your path and who knows? maybe someone will eventually tag along.
This is my duality as well. I find it hard to relate to ppl and visa versa, so I ended up just getting used to being a loner. Yet still I find myself craving a partner and ppl who understand me. Worst thing is is that people do try to get to know me, but as mentioned before, the lack of common interests prevents me truly making any connections and I feel worse
As a Korean American male, I faced a lot of pressure growing up to be perfect and never showing weakness or making mistakes. This type of pressure often came from within my own community, where I was bullied by other Koreans and Korean Americans for not conforming to certain expectations. The constant criticism and judgment led me to feel incredibly lonely and isolated, as if I didn’t belong anywhere. It’s a painful reality that many of us face, and to this day I often question my self-worth, like I am a failed Korean and that I don’t belong on this earth. Lately I have been speaking with crisis counselors about this, oftentimes as I contemplate whether I should take my own life at this point.
Please dont im sorry youve been alienated by your own people perhaps you can move and meet people less judgemental and more accepting of who you are wish you the best friend :)
Hello, i am a Spanish speaker so my English is bad, actually I am here to read words and phrases, but I want to tell you that you can do many things to be better, you can make friends and talk with them about your problems or try to change the way that you see yourself, you don't have to reach the standard's of other people to be happy. You should be happy and proud with what you are achieving.
I do not have the exact same experiences as you but I have always had to be the perfect son, student, musician, friend, etc. People all over the world can feel like failures. I hope that the counseling can help you
Hey. Please don’t take your own life. Not only will it make your pain worse, but it will also hurt everyone around you, including the people that love you
The only thing that has been saving me from male loneliness is making music, skateboarding, family, and last but not least… this UA-cam channel. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
Well sir continue to fight the good fight. One thing to think positive about in that is that you still have some family to talk to. Some of us don't even have parents or family members we can trust. Mine tried telling me I was a failure. That was not exactly the most useful and uplifting thing to hear. I rarely talk to them now.
@@biblesforbreakfast I don’t mean to come off as dramatic… but staying creative making music and being active skateboarding is pretty much the only reason I’m still alive and have any desire to live. If you dig through my UA-cam channel and listen to what I’m saying in my music… you’ll understand lol I’m confident. Specifically my song/music video “Anymore” will give you a good insight into my mind and circumstance. Also, getting along with my family is more of a recent thing, and I’m still learning how to utilize and be grateful for them in my life now. I did something absolutely wild a few months ago that nearly killed me… but strangely enough, brought me closer to my family and sobered me up for good. To live life to the fullest AND be grateful for every positive/negative experience is something that I’ve learned to do through deep loneliness. It isn’t easy… but I believe everybody is capable of this. Man or woman, any other belief in that has to be limiting in some way. Much love to you and everyone else who might stumble upon and read all this mess. We got this.
Thanks for talking about men too! As a girl im proud of that,most of the people talks about women only,and this is sad and makes me angry. For me men and women are at the same level,men aren't only strong and don't need help,men are like women,strong but sometimes needs help.
As an introvert, I don’t mind being alone, but I am very lonely. The few people I do have in my life encourage me to go out and meet new people. The problem I face is that everyone I meet seems toxic and in the past, I have been repeatedly hurt by those people. So why would I engage with a society that is toxic and determined to hurt me?
I feel you chief, that’s the hard part. It’s like a loop, something i suffer from with many things, you finally decide to come out of your shell to try to meet someone new, despite being scared of them being toxic or hurtful, said person ends being toxic or hurtful, further reaffirming your fear and making it harder to meet someone new the next time, repeating over and over again until the doubt paralyzes you. I wish you the best buddy.
You are keeping yourself self safe which is good. If you want i suggest trying to find some support groups centered around mental health. Or you can really express how you feel to your friends. Since so many people are lonely nowadays I'm sure someone would be happy that you shared this with them.
I feel your pain, I have never been good at making friends. I’m quiet and keep myself to myself who struggles to trust people. I also have a disability which restricts how much I can get out. I have never felt like I fit in, like I’m somehow broken. I need friends but, lack the know how to do it. It really hurts.
I turned 30 last month and both my siblings are getting married next year while I haven’t gotten to experience a connection with anyone You hit the nail on the head my school days completely screwed me up I’ve never recovered
Similar story here. Everyone I know is married or in a relationship already. In school we were all shoved into rooms with each other for eight hours a day. Now we have freedom of association!... and the absence of human contact that comes with it.
I share the same story u do, but I develop enough skill to start a conversation with people anywhere I go. None of us get lucky with meeting someone in highschool or college, or even if we do meet someone, they end up being toxic for us. But society hasn't put in enough effort to help those outside of those environments to help find love easily. We have apps where ppl choose for shallow reasons, dating events that want you to consistently pay to get at least 1 connection while incentivizing a lack of companionship, a shit ton of dating advice that borders on encouraging toxic dynamics that are akin to transactional relationships, and social circles and communities that are very politically polarized to the point of alienation. It's a fucked up world out there that needs careful thought and deliberate action to navigate it well and find a place you can call your home. Until a better solution comes along, that's where we've come to.
I have been behind on life for years. Both my siblings have a girl/boyfriend, while i cant even look women in the eyes. If im doomed to rot up in loneliness, so be it. Thats what i apparantely deserve.
Being in a healthy relationship I am very happy with, I very much agree I used to feel lonely and unlovable. My heart goes out to anyone struggling with any sort of mental setback and I hope it gets better for all of you.
Psychology is made to make you stay longer and pay more not really cure you in the long run some actually try their best while others just want to take more money from you it's the way of the world
I could write a lecture on male loneliness and the deplorable state of dating in current society. They perpetuate each other and there are very few systems or reliable programs in place to amend these issues. We’ve come a long way in recent years to acknowledge mental issues but haven’t yet crossed the emotional issue barrier. Mental health is important to improve the self and understanding helps bridge gaps socially but until we start acknowledging the detrimental things in society that are causing issues with our individual emotional health, we will eventually destroy our social structure.
Leave about the female not caring about male loneliness.. I have seen countless of men putting down men just because they show emotions or open up about themselves It's like you have only yourself in the end and you should just stick with that until the end
You’ve hit on something really deep-sometimes the biggest barriers to men opening up aren’t external but come from other men. That “toughen up” mentality can feel suffocating, as if vulnerability equals weakness. It’s a harsh reality, but the fact that you see this cycle means you’re already breaking it. Maybe it feels like you’re on your own sometimes, but even a small step toward finding people who value that openness can shift things. You deserve that space.
@@JACQUEZ23some women don’t care about men are lonely and some men don’t care that women are getting @bused and being treated wrongly in every country. It’s a shame really that it’s like this 😞
Homelessness and joblessness is especially a major factor. I’ve lost friends as a result of their living situation worsening to the point where they became too dependent and time consuming for others to deal with. Desperation due to economic pressures blows…
It’s hard for men to even make friends with other men. It’s all about: “How can you be useful to me.” “My time is valuable, you should consider yourself lucky I’m spending time with you”
This video was hard to watch for me. I’m 35 sitting at home alone wishing to have a romantic relationship, but due to low self esteem, I was and continue to be unable to find a partner, even outright rejecting the very few chances I had, fearing I would not be good enough or simply not having feelings towards the other person. I tried online dating but no matter what I did I was only greeted with silence. I do not blame the other person for that, since I understand that online dating for females is just a constant bombardment of messages, but I do wish I would at least get a “no” or a “sorry”. It’s just so heartbreaking to be ignored outright. The sad thing is, I recently found a community I like and care for. I found lots of dear friends and the accomplishments I made greatly boosted my self confidence, but I fear that it is too little, too late and I’m way past the age where finding love would be possible for me.
Lol, I love the cold apathy of this world. It's time to adapt and be always ready for the worst. Did you really expect some good and genuine relationship on this planet? Funny, I thought that I was only one. This world is freaky isn't it?
I’m male, and I have a lot of friends and a lot of family, so I’m not that lonely in terms of my social life. When it comes to romance, though, I’m as lonely as it gets, simply because I’m very picky! -Diego the rainbow starperson
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes Steve_porss1, I share similar experiences with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and addiction. Psilocybin mushrooms have been a game-changer for me, aiding greatly in my recovery and sobriety.
I wish those were more easily accessible where I live. Microdosing was my next step for my husband. He's 59 & dealing with lots of mental health challenges, possible CTE & a TBI that put him in a coma for 8 days. Unfortunately, I had to get a TPO since he's 6'6, over 300 pounds, and showing violent behavior, constantly talking about harming others. He's aggressive. To anyone reading this, if you're familiar with BPD, is it common to have an obsession with violence?
as a female, i would say that i do get it. seeing my brother and all, but he doesnt open up, no matter how much i try to get close he gets away. making me feel such a bad older sister. i appreciate those who are struggling and wanting and trying to get over it, whether its opening up or anything else. men need to open up for us to understand. i may say wrong, but i am just saying from my perspective as i really dont know any man beside my father and brother, i dont even have male friends. its funny how women wants to open up but gets shut often, saying stop crying and control your emotion. and men doesnt open up to maintain the ego society created, cruel and complex- saying men shouldnt feel sad.
why would he open up when everytime he has it's thrown in his face about how evil he must be? Women don't want men to open up. They want men to be over it. A man that "fixed himself" and has emotions but not enough to affect her? she'll love that. A man that is still struggling and has emotions that will likely affect her? ew what a creep.
@@jeffreychandler8418 i am sorry for guys like you who faced this, but as I said from my perceptive. Everyone is not the same. My parents are so understanding that we really try hard to reach him. We got yo know that he was being bullied in school and getting into bad things, we tried doing everything from our position but if he doesn't open up no matter how much I push, it doesn't matter. The last paragraph, you said, girls doesn't be like always 'happy' with a 'fixed himself' guy who doesn't effect her, KNOWING that he struggles. And not also be happy with a guy who struggles but has effect on her. Here, what is the effect? Harming or hurting? If that is, it is to be expected that the girl would leave. But can you say she never once tried to ask him what the problem is? Not all guy, but some doesn't ever talk about them, how much do we need to push them to open up? If he doesn't admit he is struggling or even showing the willingness to be better BUT has the effect on her, surely she would leave for her betterment. But KNOWING he struggles but saying he fixed himself, that wouldn't make the girl happy if she is at least decent.
@@jeffreychandler8418 i am really sorry for what you and some guys out there going through, but as i said from my prespective, no one, and not even my parents made my brother feel like that. i get to know that he was being bullied in school and getting into bad things, i tried to reach him, my parents tries to reach him, contacting scl and all but they dont bring the 100% fruit if he doesnt open up. what does he fear of even? it was nver thrown to his face that how evil he is for opening up. i think no one should be, idk what is your situation. and it is not like women dont want men to open up, i have seen all my life watching my mom nagging my father until he opened up, be it business struggles or anything. and the last para you said, girls arent always 'happy' whenn they are with a guy who 'fixed himself' KNOWING he is struggling, they want their man to open up, at least thats what i would want. and struggling and having emotions that will likely effect her- what is the effect here? harming or hurting? if so, and if the man doesnt explain or whatsover, the girl would leave for her betterment. but if he doesnt show the willingness of getting over it, and doesnt ever once open up for 'fearing girls would rub it in their face' it's their problem. if she doesnt listen to you, that girl just not for you, if the girl cares even a bit, she would want the man to rely on her and feel free to share his struggles and WILL to get over it. a lot of talking but just saying cz everyone isnt the same
@@jeffreychandler8418 Stop caring so damn much about what women want. You're making your life revolve around impressing women to the detriment of your mental health and then complaining that their judgements and expectations are hurting you. If you give people total power over you they are going to trample you. Giving women "the ick" is not the end of the world. Really! The most important thing you can do is give yourself permission to be true to yourself, to be authentic. No relationship you build with *anyone* will be worth a damn if you're not being authentic. You're never not going to be alone if the real you is so ashamed of himself he won't even come out from under the covers. If you're going to be alone anyway then just be yourself and give them the ick! So what? I think I must give like 90% of women and not a small number of men the ick. I go half, I cried on my first date with my current partner and I like videogames. I called my friend and cried to him over my last breakup for like an hour while he was trying to cheer me up, and the woman I met on my first date knows about it because I told her. xD So what if it might have turned her off? Who cares? But hey, I stumbled upon someone weird who actually found that endearing, and that is *genuine* appreciation. And I made a friend who is genuinely supportive of me when I needed to talk to him. Me, with my real feelings, insecurities, hobbies and interests, and quirks, not some ridiculous role I'm playing. I mean I don't know where it will go, but I would definitely never have stumbled upon her or him if I was too busy trying to stop myself from *being* myself so that these faceless masses of people I don't even like or care about won't get the 'ick'. Seriously. Give them the ick! Make 'em squirm! They deserve the discomfort for all I care! They're superficial prats with no emotional depth who are themselves alone, because all the people around them are as fake as they are! You don't owe them anything. 😛
Lonely 27-year-old dude here. This video resonated with me a lot, and I appreciate your emphasis on how it's not just romantic loneliness, but group-based ones too. This past year was centered on self-improvement for me. I got addicted to Cardio, and I lost a ton of weight. Gained much needed confidence as well as increased cognition skills. I don't want to specify the specifics on what my bad days were like, but it does get easier each time. Like you said, it's just about that first step. This year's resolution? Do what I did last year. Take the first step, and start getting out there socially. Think of it as part of your character arc, and seek to learn the right lessons as you do.
I often hear lots of other guys around me complain about drama and things that are happening with their relationships and it makes me feel even more alone because I've never had a romantic partner in my life. If they ever want to talk to me about their relationship issues, I would be like. At least you have a relationship, I'd kill to have the issues you have, I would fix it instantly.
I am 42 years old. No friends. No social life. No partner. No home. No children. No legacy. But at least I have a job. I live with my parents as they’re the only family I have left. I dread to think of the day when they’re both pass away. I don’t think at that point I’d want to live anymore. The loneliness will kill me.
You're fortunate to have your parents. I am estranged from mine. So when I've been alone, I've been *really* alone. As in, knowing if I had a heart attack or health problem one day, either I'd make it to the telephone in time to call an ambulance, or I would just drop dead on the spot and nobody would notice anything maybe for weeks or months when they came to investigate the smell. I've struggled to try to build connections, but it is very scary... it takes time to build trust with people, and feel confident they won't leave or betray you, and without a healthy family as a base to build from it often feels like stabs in the dark, opening up just to be crushed over and over again, pushing the same rock up the same hill forever like Sisyphus. But I think it's important to do all the same. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
As it as a neurodiverse person with weak social skills in my youth, I can attest that while high school in college were great places to SEE girls, they were far from the best places to meet them, much less to start relationships. The entire atmosphere of our schools is completely poisonous. Sadly, that puts us late bloomers at a disadvantage, because by the time we finally gotten our feet under us, and gotten our heads together, there either seems to be no one around, or they’re too young..
Romantic-wise, I've been single for most of my life. I'm about to be 31-years-old and I haven't found that person for me yet. I date every now and then, but I'm not as lucky in the dating game as others. It could be because I'm more of a nerdy dude, the way I look, height, or whatever physical attributes I have. There's always a sense of loneliness for me in that area. In terms of platonic, it's been pretty good. I have learned how to be alone and try to not let the lonely thoughts take over. In terms of dating, I don't want to push women into dating a dude that they don't like despite of this loneliness epidemic. I'm always trying to steer away from that incel mindset too just because of how that group is. Date who you want to date because you have genuine feelings for the person and those feelings are mutual, not because you are lonely.
The content you guys put out is nice as per usual. I always appreciate them. That said, I feel the song, "Used to the pain" applies here. After a long enough time, well, it is just another thing that is part of the normal. A lot of other options for help require money. So, that doesn't tend to help, but hopefully it helps others.
I have just turned 32 and feel so lonely that the frustration, confusion, and anger that I feel towards the world is indescribable. It feels like I have been betrayed by life.
Timestamps 1). Defining loneliness 1:19 2). Where is all of this loneliness coming from. And why men 2:07 3). Romanticizing loneliness 3:53 4). Technology 4:59 5). Loneliness as a trap 6:45 6). How it affects everyone 7:50 7). Defeating loneliness 8:33 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
I am a female INTJ in her mid - late 30s. I know this video is about men, but i am so lonely. It just feels like no one values anyone anymore. It’s sad. People are so quick to dismiss and so superficial. I want to be around genuine kind and good people with no hidden agenda. I feel like an alien. I go to work and just focus on myself. I don’t bother trying to date anymore even though people find me attractive. I just hate how the world is nowadays. I do try to mentor students to provide value in this world. Sigh.
I am a male in my 40's. I am rediscovering my peace in being alone. I am learning to love myself and treat myself better. I have "bouts" of loneliness... but have learned that I am comfortable with being alone. This is 2 years after my last 2-year-long relationship... The best advice I can offer is that You are Your Story's MAIN CHARACTER. You can and will develop regardless of other characters in your story.😊
to be honest, I stopped using social media a while ago and have since began to get outside more and just feel like i’m living my life. I feel lonely only in a sense of romance sometimes… but i’ve been seriously hurt in the past so i can’t put it past myself to feel that way. I have a good group of friends, but during the winter we’re all off and doing our own thing. that’s when my mental health gets really bad.
I have social anxiety and fears of being ignored, rejected, or taken advantage by women, because it has happened in my past several times. Life kind of feels bland, games don't seem as much fun anymore even with friends, and family is just there and not extremely helpful. I am in my mid 30's and I just feel in limbo. I have hobbies outside of work, but they don't really bring me much joy either. I am also usually too tired to exercise after work.
Since the video mentioned "the Incel community" (which is more a collection of communities) i'll give my two cents to the people who are confused to what that might entail. 1. (For the sake of having a credible voice I state); I moderate a decently large (200+ members) Incel server. Positives: 1. Most members are non-misogynist "typical-loners" in there. 2. Interacting with men in there has given me perspective and a sense of community 3. Shared problems and common topics discussion can help give perspective. Negatives 1. Jokes and the posting of reactionary/harmful/politically extreme images can get out of hand from the vocal minority of toxic/troll members. 2. the use of irony draws a blurry line between what is expressed and what is meant. 3. when people talk about their problems it can often turn into a loop of people getting addicted to others feelings of loneliness and depression rather than any solid answers or action.
@@mrwolf3939it’s literally because of men like you that don’t take accountability for your own gender. A male dominated world. other men seek validation from other men. Same men then teach their children from a young age that”boys don’t cry” so yall can’t express your feelings like normal people. Which leads to men coping in horrible ways or just becoming a terrible man. And before you try not all men but obviously a big part of yall for there to be an epidemic.
@@mrwolf3939the only one blaming is you. You don't even understand the conversation and somehow concluded that you are being blamed somehow. People here are being supportive of men and their struggles and somehow you misunderstood such a statement as blame. Sit down and listen before you jump to erroneous conclusions
Been lonely my whole life. I had a friend who was like a brother to me but he passed from cancer 2 years ago and i miss my partner so much who i haven't talked to in days. Loneliness is hella painful when you don't want it.
the fact that you have to put such an elaborate disclaimer at the start of the video is alarming. Not doing that would instantly get you tons of hate from people claiming you are a woman-hating incel.
@@ziggye3096 What kinda answer is that. If majority of women dont care to even have friendships with these men, dont be suprised they turn out as shit men. If every guy in school had a good woman friend, you would see much more good men and much less shit men. You created a problem and now you whine about being sick of it. Of course men blame women. If all the men who dont have any friends would stop working, you would not have your civilization anymore. Of course you will never understand, you are still a child
I’m 24 years old. I’m single and I have no friends. I want to have friends but the people I work with and the people I have familiarised myself with presently terrify me. I don’t know whether it’s because I’m vastly different from other people or if people are just mean but all I want is to be seen, loved and happy
It’s always hard to put yourself out there man. The way I was able to do it was go to somewhere mural like a fast food place or small restaurant casually. Then eventually one of you will talk and from there it can keep going or not. Choice is yours man this worked with me but everyone is different.
eh, not worth it to reach out. You reach out and they ignore you, neglect you, lie to you. Just find peace in yourself and never get your hopes up tbh. Wait for someone to give a shit about you. That's the only reliable option
@jeffreychandler8418 Imo you cant really expect people to care if you dont reach out. Some of wat you said I so agree with but Id say reach while still being cautious and careful
Sigh its never easy being a person in general. Theres always criticism everywhere you go, thats why its best to ignore and move on. Dont let peoples thoughts bring you down.
At home I'm basically prohibited from feeling or expressing anything that might indicate loneliness which unsurprisingly only worsens it. I've stopped talking about anything I struggle with to my family for that and other reasons. Mental healthcare isn't optimal either here. It's fine in most cases, but once the problems become a bit more complex the go-to response I got is "Yea that's awful to hear. I'll pretend to care about your questions and give you some prescription to help with something that's not even the actual issue". At least I have some friends mostly online, and with one of them I can share literally everything. We both have our crap to deal with, and even though what we have greatly differs because of the severity of our disorders we can understand each other nonetheless since we have some overlap in our additional problems. Though a few differences are very helpful for me. More experience in life, and actually has her life back on track (mostly). Also more perceptive about social things, so thanks to her I actually have some hope that my life might get better at some point.
I've been trying to reach out to people I see regularly for the last year. No one wants anything to do with me, much less to hear about my problems. Even the people who claim to care aren't there to even listen. Self improvement only made me feel even more jaded that no one wants to be around me. Been trying this start small plan for about a year. No bites yet. People are polite but the message is clear. No one has time for a new friend. No one's interested.
"Men competing with other men in a competition that women dont even realize they're judging." Thats the realest snapshot of socio-gender dynamics that I've heard in a long time! Great work Psych2Go team!!!
@@rw5622 Reread the comment. It's women that supposedly "don't realize that they are judging". The person you responded to is stating that women do, in fact, realize they are judging the competition.
I realize that I am just one comment among many, but I hope this pierces through. I am very glad in both videos it was made clear how loneliness affects ALL humans, it is a shared experience/feeling/burden and I am quite shocked to see some throw blame and generalize others as genders, we are not genders, we are more than that, everyone has uniqueness, sometimes we can't always see it. All and all, both videos shed light onto something I find very relatable, loneliness. I hope we can all hug the world together❤ So I wanted to say, Amazing job on the research and in general, both the videos themselves (The rise of male/female loneliness) are very nice!❤ I wish every one of you a happier day : )
Job/financial stability is a big factor for my loneliness. Been struggling for years to find a financially stable situation that I also find fulfilling but no luck so far (current job I'm in is neither). Hopefully I can get something figured out soon, then I can try entering the dating world.
The rise of male loneliness is a growing concern that many people overlook. Men often face societal pressure to be strong and independent, which can make it harder for them to open up about their emotions. This leads to isolation and a lack of meaningful connections. It's important to challenge these stereotypes and create spaces where men can express themselves and build stronger support networks.
Their inability to communicate how they feel can also end up hurting innocent people,permanently (mentally and/or physically) and that’s just not ok. At what point do you take responsibility for how you treat others without having to point out “BUT YOU ALSO DID” or “THIS APPLIES TO WOMEN AS WELL”. Not even trying to be mean. I understand that men have it rough but at some point,you’re responsible for how you choose to navigate the world. That goes for both genders.
Very good observation. Men deserve kindness and support. Whatever hardships you are dealing with, you have to believe that you are worthy enough to receive that. I'm glad there are so many people out there that recognize and empathize with that struggle.
@@peabody23"their inability to communicate how they feel" I don't know about that. A big issue we have is often we have nobody that listens. It's not an "inability" per say, but rather... that nobody cares, so they don't really talk about it. I agree about the whole communication thing though. Glad we promote mental awareness and start encouraging people to go to therapy more, so we all can heal and stop hurting others. And, traumas or not, we are indeed 100% responsible for how we show up and treat each others.
00:20 “as a woman identifying as male I know everything that a man has gone through and I know the experience first hand of male loneliness, even though I have been identifying as male for the past year”. Either you are born a male or you aren’t a male but just want to be.
Additional thoughts. Looking at cultural messaging, there's one message I get sent my way no matter where I go; I'm expendable, because I'm a man. Also, I get hit with how I'm definitely evil based on my gender pretty often. It's often disguised behind a complaint allegedly targeted at specific men, but the disguise is very loose and easily recognized once you've seen it a few times. I spend a lot of my time immersing myself in environments that have a different narrative, and tend to be a bit stubborn. If I was the sort to internalize everything I repeatedly hear, I would believe that I was worthless, at fault for everything ever, and ought to spend the rest of my life atoning for my sins by solving other people's problems and expect nothing in return. That to say, if you say nothing when those around you are parroting "men are trash," don't be surprised when men toss themselves away.
You have some really concerning beliefs right here to unpack. It would be helpful to think about where these beliefs came from. The good news is that the stuff you are saying is absolutely 100% untrue. Which might give you some hope, but will probably mostly offend you. If you take the time to listen to the messages you might be surprised at what society actually says about men.
@@rw5622 LMFAO "100% untrue" meanwhile I have dealt with it myself where a woman allegedly "only targeting a specific kind of man" threw me in that bin despite behaviors that did not match with those specific men. If anything it's worse than this guy presents. You mention you have any mental health issue at all? nearly every woman will believe you want them to be their mommy, or that you're using it to manipulate them. You mention you get remotely any incling of any anger based emotion? she will view you as violent. You mention you're a virgin in your 20's 30's? she'll believe you're a sex fiend. It's anti reality all because of the decades of propaganda against men.
@jeffreychandler8418 yes exactly before few days my mother smashed a groom into my back and to distribute the force as possible I put my hand back and as a result of which the groom backed into my forearm and I got dark red Bruise. In my 18 years of life my parents has the most contribution in damaging my mental sanity.
Due to my narcissistic mother and a less narcissistic father who gave me my first PC below the age below 10 I always felt lonely and distract myself. I can't create friendships. No matter what I do. I can easily connect with everyone. But keeping those relations always fails. I have a very low self esteem due to my mother who always has to manipulate me with her opinions. To since last year I have no more contract with her. Also I work on my future occupation to move out of my country to begin a new life to battle my depression (and loneliness). I wish everyone reading this (no gender specific) all the strength necessary to reach your goals 👍🏼
It is pretty tough out here. I know people that are narcissists from both male and female sides and I could literally feel my own self-esteem shrink because of how they describe themselves as "better-than-you" and it got worse due to the pandemic when i couldn't physically interact with people at all. Now, I'm dealing with the aftermath of my upbringing as a sheltered kid. I couldn't go out and have fun with friends, go to hangouts, or go to the playground back then. I had to go back home after school right away and it was slowly eating me away. Now that I'm an adult, I always second guess my approach with people and I have lots of social anxiety on making connections with people. It also doesn't help that I compare myself to my friends over social media. Its pretty tough out here.
Just look at google in mens day. they didnt even made a custom icon for mens day, but they made for womens day. Women have no idea of how lonely would be a men's life.
I retired and live alone, sometimes I won't talk to another person for days, I keep my mind and body busy, I am never lonely, My few close friendships that lasted decades have all passed away and people nowadays are just so strange, I love my choice of being alone,
I feel lonely as a male too.. before having a girlfriend and after breaking up after almost a year, I’ve always felt really cold and starved of affection and closeness to the point where it affected me a little as a person, I get more easily frustrated and stressed. I start to lose hope
I so so so desperately want someone I can be my full self with (other than myself, that gets old). but alas, I'm only useful if I am useful and quiet about myself
I have that, too. I believe it's called learned helplessness. I have asked for love and help for what seems to be all the wrong places. Eventually, I got burnt out and shifted my focus on improving myself and not needing anyone.
I did the same, but then when I finally found someone that seemed to all be in the right places, all of my trauma came roaring back with a vengeance. Never enough for these people. I can only feel contempt for them.
As a male, I try to chat with friends new and old, but my conversations get dropped rather quickly. It doesn't feel good to feel like a lesser priority.
Why do I feel called out so many times when I see the title of the latest video that this channel has published ? You are doing such a good job, thank you for your work.
I blame the economy and social media. Social media has made us comparing our life to the (usually only positive) posts we see online, while at the same time serving as a substitute for not fixing our own lives. And the bad economy has made it near impossible for a good portion of the society to even archive basic things like stability and security. No wonder that friendships and relationships fall by the wayside. Counts for both genders btw.
Yep. Any discussion of the “loneliness epidemic” that doesn’t mention the need for multiple jobs to stay afloat and the loss of third spaces for socializing is missing a BIG part of the picture. This video almost got there by pointing out that high school & college are the times when people can form relationships but didn’t bother to dive into why that is.
These points are all well and good. They are definitely valid points and touch on good subjects as to why men struggle with things like loneliness, mental health, processing emotions, etc. But sadly, the reality of....well....reality is that the real world doesn't give 2 shits about mens "feelings". If you don't make enough money, you're failure as a man. If you're emotional, you're weak and women turn away. Being in touch with your emotions and things, then your chances of getting a promotion at work go significantly down. Like I said, these points are great. They're great talking points and are definitely things we struggle with. Unfortunately, we have to deal with them in private, by ourselves, and try not to let the world know what is REALLY going on if we want to have a snowballs chance in hell at success.
Being alone is very different to being lonely. Let's not forget that. I've been Monk for 16 years now, and wouldn't have it any other way. As Tolkien wisely said - "not all who wander are lost".
I think embracing being alone as opposed to feeling lonely in the wrong group of people is something people need to recognize when talking about this conversation. Its that subtle difference that needs to be ackowledged. I'm lonely at times. But thats not a bad thing knowing that I have a support network.
Loneliness in men is caused by A) societal expectations that a man should marry and support a wife and children, and B) rejection of the lone wolf mentality. The truth is, the first few years of being alone are tough. But once you embrace the idea of being alone, bachelorhood is habit forming. But you have to accept that is fine to go it alone.
It turns into a game of comparisons. People would rather assume the emotions of someone based on what they perceive to be true. I found that our perception of ourselves tend to reflect out onto the environment and the people around us. All we have in the end are two things, our physical and mental health, social circles will come and go. Personally, I use to feel lonely, but then I realized that all I needed was a change in perspective and now that emotion doesn't surface as much anymore.
39 male here I have always been alone but I never felt lonely. One of the biggest mistakes you can do is to place yourself as a victim Own your shortcomings /truly accept yourself as the result of your choices and do what you can with what you have
I'm 44 and my best years are behind me. Lonely, financially struggling, getting old. I know this will come to pass, but time waits for no one. I have realized that I have a life of peace and quiet ahead of me, and slowly learning to accept it. Besides, if I work on and improve myself, then "the right person will come along"... Right? Isn't that the way it works? The only thing I have for certain is that the company of a woman is no longer in the menu, especially with this current economic, dating and societal climate that shows no signs of changing for the better.
I feel so defeated and depleted after writing it all out and having my comment disappeare. I see idiots downplaying the loneliness it in the comments and I can't even explain why they're wrong because it took an hour to type something that UA-cam erased in less time than an eye-blink. :(
I experience it in a way that I don't have anyone to share my thoughts and feelings with. No one to feel close, to connect. That's why even though I may be in a room full of people, people I may know for years, I still feel lonely.
Hello Psych2go,and all the people who are watching this,this is kind off topic. But I have been following this channel for the past 2 years when i was in a very difficult situation,and I used to watch their videos since I didn’t had any access to my phone and only to my computer because I had bad grades at school. It was a very stressful moment for me,and now watching videos like this always keep me calm and actually help me a lot and I’ve also been following this channel to help the others. Thank you for helping me and trying to find stuff about myself that I didn’t knew,and that I’ve figured out thanks to this amazing channel. I am recommending all of my friends this channel because it’s more helpful than what it seems 💞💞
I used to deal with really bad romantic loneliness, as I can count on one hand the number of romantic relationships I've had in my life, but I would need a supercomputer to count my rejections. But what I have found to be very helpful to myself is changing how I view my relationships with women. I have decided to grow from seeing women as a group of people from whom I should find a partner, to genuinely enjoying them as friends. Men have this awful way of putting other men down for not "pulling girls" and making that something akin to status is toxic, so the best thing for us is to do away with that kind of thinking and for men, women, and our non-binary friends to all enjoy each other as people. I've been much happier with my life since going on this introspective journey.
To anyone and everyone who may be feeling lonely and vengeful, please open your heart. Dont let that feeling of anger cloud your vision and make you a worse person than your capable of. It sucks but never ever give up. You will find your space. Keep your heart open and listen to those that need help. We all want to be wanted and loved, so go out there and prove that you arent a stereotypical, aggressive guy. Be caring, have a big heart. You'll find someone who appreciates it.
We had male spaces, golf, gentlemans clubs, bars. Some better ones boy scouts, military. Now every place must include women. If there are women only spaces there should be some men only spaces? Plus the culture is insanely anti men and any grievances we have are disregarded and labeled as sexist or wimpy. So we leave, we depart and do our own things.
So true. I look back on high school and university and wish I had put more effort into finding someone back then. It's harder to make friends when you're older and rebuilding my social life post-COVID has been a real challenge.
We previously made a video on "The Rise of Female Loneliness." There were a lot of heartfelt responses that we are shedding light on a topic that's less talked about and sometimes stereotyped. There were requests for us to cover "The Rise of Male Loneliness." As promise, here it is. Today also marks International Men's Day.
International Men's Day, celebrated on November 19, is a global event that focuses on promoting positive male role models, celebrating men's contributions to society, and addressing issues faced by men. It's about encouraging conversations around mental health, gender equality, and breaking down stereotypes about masculinity.
The day aims to highlight six key pillars, including improving gender relations, promoting well-being, and recognizing the value men bring to families, workplaces, and communities. It’s not about competing with International Women’s Day but complementing it by encouraging mutual respect and understanding.
A man can have nobody around him accept his old lady and he's fine if a man chooses properly his old lady is all he needs why? Because we don't rely on other males it's ok to have male friends but not necessary a woman is necessary she provides ultimate companionship you can spend time with your best friend and have sex with that best friend you bond with a woman more deeply than another man because sex and a romantic love is far different than having a brother meaning friend and a woman sees a side of us that others don't see the bond with the right woman is superior to any other relationship in this context
I honestly had no idea the holiday existed until this comment. 😐
@@eugenekrabs3837 What you’re describing highlights the deep emotional and physical connection that can come with the right romantic partner. A healthy bond with someone who sees and accepts every side of you-flaws and all-can feel unmatched. That level of intimacy, trust, and companionship does hit differently compared to friendships. Still, it’s worth remembering that no single person, even the right partner, can meet *all* of our needs. A balanced life often thrives on different types of connections-romantic, platonic, or even personal independence. ❤
Surprised you guys actually acknowledged that it was today as 99% of people don't acknowledge or care about men or their issues, so thanks for posting this
Also I wanted to say I'm surprised that it was stated that male lonliness is being talked about alot as from my perspective, male lonliness is normally put down or treated as a joke and not talked about seriously unless in a toxic incel community.
@@Psych2go Male and female is balance the merging of both creates balance other relationships are secondary in the grand scheme of things
Notice that even discussing a male problem requires a disclaimer.
this is the problem with society lol
The amount of disclaimers they had to put here really makes me mad
I get tired of the "men created this system" Im lonley and sad. The people who say that need to stop crying about there own problems.
This, and the fact that the top posts that I found about international men's day (which was yesterday btw) being about hating men _really_ puts into perspective why guys don't speak up about their issues. It's like you can't unconditionally uplift men in a positive way. Some people are already being hateful on here.... that's just sad
@@jayatlas9577then they expect me to support some activist cause lol. Nope.
Loneliness is that feeling when no one cares enough to ask how you’re really doing.
So, how are you doing?
@Wichnam I'm just afraid, afraid of what's to come in my life with trials such as this. I'm afraid nobody will care at some point and that once I'm not useful anymore I'll just be thrown away being no more than a thought. Afraid that if I show my true side, others will see me as weak and pathetic (when it's obviously not true)
@@Wichnam Almost ready to check out at this point.
@@user7-o9w Could you elaborate?
@@javanhernandez5690 And what if they see you as weak and pathethic? Why should that stop you from showcasing who you are or can be at times?... It takes strength, to showcase weakness that one else is trained to hide.
And should those who deny you because you dare to have the strength to break out and showcase you have that, then can you call those people friends?
Now we all struggle with our heritage. And we cannot all be a Musk, or a Trump, or any type of person of large status that has this legacy... But even they. In X amount of time, will be forgotten. Sounds harsh no? Because it is, but also. It isn't.
What matters is the NOW... the HERE... the what YOU do with the time you have left still.
And if that time you have left, you could make a person smile, or even have just a simple nice conversation. Isn't that worth more than some legacy?...
Because if you think on it, everything one does, leaves a legacy. Every item you bought, every gift you gave. It leaves a bit of yourself somewhere. (And yes, I am not a trained professional, nor am I super at english. All I ask and would say is: You are worthy. For how little time it may have been or is. Every creature on this planet is.)
As a man, I would say I'm quite lonely. I have a friend but we don't like the same things anymore really. It's kinda sad.
I hear you-it’s tough when friendships drift, especially when you’ve shared a lot in the past. It’s like watching something that once felt really solid start to fade. But the fact that you’re reflecting on it shows you care, and that’s a sign of growth. Sometimes these changes in connections open space for new ones, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. It’s okay to feel sad about it-it’s part of navigating relationships, especially when they shift.
@@Psych2gothank you for telling me this. You're the only I can really be ok with w a tching without having to deal with a bad fandom or something these days.
I'm sorry to hear that. I'm female. I desire a connection with a man. But every time I try I get so much disrespect towards my gender that I feel like the connection is superficial and I am just getting played for intimacy.
@ I'm sorry to hear that. That must be very tough, I hope people that are like that will learn not to do stuff like that, it can and will a lot of the time Hirst someone a lot.
A good tip I gave a friend of mine who was passing through the same or similar to you was to meet new friends. He was placing all of his expectations on a group of friends to satisfy, when he gave himself the chance to open up and share his likings with others he felt more complete and had more connections than before. Good luck on your journey man
Remember: being lonely and being alone are different. a person can be by themselves and feel amazing, or be surrounded by friends and feel terrible.
lonely and alone is same,first example is both of these and the second example fits none of these
@-Burningzilla_YT- no,being alone is having no one close to you,it's something physical, while being lonely is FEELING alone,it's not physical,thats basic grammar,being lonely is not feeling understood,while being alone is being alone in a room,one can be lonely and alone or have people around them but one who is alone can't not have people around them
I can honestly say I've been in a group of people and felt totally alone and uncomfortable, just to come home later, hop on the couch and hold my dog for 45 mins and feel better than I did the entire time... and then consciously choosing to not go to group gatherings just to feel like I belong, because that's never the answer.
@@EleonorFerret-oc7zx crazy cope,they are the same
@@-Burningzilla_YT-wtf are you talking about
What friends? I have none. What brother? He attacked me with a knife. What father? I have never had a good relationship with him my entire life. What partner? Never been able to develop a romantic life. My life is in shambles. I am more than lonely, I am unwanted. Some people worry about a fear of missing out, I already missed out on a life I was present for.
Hey, I'm going to delete this comment later but just so you know: It’s okay that your life is the way it is right now. Blood family doesn’t have to be your family. I had to realise this too. You can have a found family as well. But to have that, you need to find friends. Maybe go to a support group so you can talk with people who feel the same way. Go to therapy and talk through your trauma and feelings. Then maybe you can go to activites you're interested in. You don't have to keep doing them, just try them out. And if you like it, keep doing it and meet people who also enjoy doing that activity. And when you start healing, start to love yourself more. Having a partner should be at the bottom of your list. You should first start to love yourself before you give love to anyone else. I know, it's not easy to do all that stuff. I'm not one to talk since I have to do those things myself. But that doesn’t mean It’s impossible. Sending you lots of love and a big hug
and u deserved it dumb ass. LMAO
@@nkem3524 sorry?
@@nkem3524least obvious bait
Brother, the world is selfish, so be like them. Better show some disrespect back to them. Revenge can be fun, when it's done right.
To all brothers that are facing this . Stay strong. Walk with your head high.
I've already given up friend but I appreciate the kind words.
Pretend everything's fine, got it.
I think you intended to be supportive, but you kind of missed the mark. 😁
Stacy
@@rikitikitavatiki It's not pretend things are fine, things get better. If it's hopeless it'll still get better. Shit won't be perfect but it will get better. I've had great troubles and things still got better and they will continue to get better. Just need to take one of the million steps you can take to make yourself feel better, make the world better, and to be happier.
Endure, even if there is no light on the horizon.
I’m a veteran. I’ve felt like I’ve always been alone. Especially since some of my best friends are gone. I feel like the world left me behind and stuck where I am long ago.
❤
❤️🎀
I'm a veteran too. There's a lot of resources out there to help us both public and private. I used some of it myself and was able to move forward. I am not sure what types of help you need but you don't need to go through it alone. Stay strong brother
I’m truly sorry you’re feeling this way. Being a veteran comes with unique challenges, especially when it comes to loss and adjusting to a world that doesn’t always understand what you’ve been through. It’s hard to carry those memories and feel like life has moved on without you, but you’re not alone in this. There are people and communities who care and want to support you-you’ve already shown incredible strength by sharing how you feel. Please consider reaching out to a veterans' support group or someone who can listen and help. You deserve connection and understanding.
As a single father i have doubts that i will find someone who will accept me and my boy but that apart im extremely blessed and happy with my boy .
Bro. If you can find a chick that will take you two on, then shes legit
And to be honest if you want to,hit the phone chat line..It's mostly lonely women looking for something serious.Its not like these dating apps or social media
Much love to you all
@@youtubetest2233I as a girl, I’m sure you will find one. I’m not so old I’m only 16 but I know that you will eventually find the one 😊 I hope it goes well for you !!✨🥹
Don’t worry! You will find someone eventually ❤
I just found this video today, and then saw the female loneliness one as well. I feel bad for everyone dealing with this.
Whoever is dealing with loneliness, please don't give up on yourselves or others. I don't have much more to say than that.
I wish you all the best!
thank you i appreciate it! and yeah.... it really sucks
When you are older no one wants to hear about your problems. Men, women it really doesn't matter. It's almost impossible making deep connections in a society where everything is replaceable and disposable. This includes people. The world changed . I am 52 and I watched it happen. Life before cell phones and internet was simple. No perfect but real.
I am sorry to hear that you feel like that. I am not as experienced as your life path has been and I can't speak to even imagining what life may have been like before the digital age. Indeed, I can't even speak to what sort of challenges you must be facing now to be in the situation that you are in right now.
But I can relate to that feeling that no one can or wants to connect with you and I am sorry that you have been experiencing that. It's not fair how much the world has become obsessed with self image and feeling that they need to impress others or that others must come to them on their terms and I hope they you will find ways around that as you continue through life.
I personally believe that technology has been a blessing as much as it has been a curse and I am certain that with the right methods, you will find that connection that you refer to again. I am confident that with time you will get someone's ear again. You've made it this far so clearly you're doing something right. 🙂
I cryed watching this, especially after going online and reading about all the hatred revolving around International Men's Day.
Also, from my personal experience; self improvement only goes so far, it doesn't necessarily ease the pain or solve the problem. Been doing that half my life.
28 years! I always felt alone, no matter where I go. Sometimes, even I'm lonely around my family. I'm different, always have been. Never been part of a crowd, always single and been friendless for the longest time. To others, I always feel invisible, unheard, worthless, unimportant and... just overall disliked. I feel one of the real reasons why I struggle mentally was because of my endless loneliness. It just really hurts not having anybody by my side.
What can we do ?
I get how you feel. Loneliness sucks, especially when it feels like you’re always on your own, even when you’re around people. It’s tough when you feel invisible and like no one gets you. But, honestly, that doesn’t mean you're worthless or unimportant. Sometimes life just kinda feels like that, and it hits harder when you're already struggling. You're not alone in feeling this way, even if it seems like it. Things can change, and you can find people who truly get you. Just takes time.
Social anxiety is a common reason.
@@lil_per_vert I don't know, really. For me, I just like to do things to keep myself distracted.
@@InfINf-d1k that too, and yeah, you're right. Thanks.
Growing up in the "All Men Are Dogs" era, and being told that I'm worthless and replaceable, for a good 20 years, not to mention being a 5'7" nerd, of course I'm alone. General consensus is that I deserve it, because I'm simply not good enough. A lonely man isn't a problem. If he doesn't simply do "better", it's all on him. Nobody really cares.
I feel for you because I'm right there with you. The gym helps. Walks in the park and just saying hello to people helps. It's difficult to imagine a different life, but it's possible to get.
You can get back out there. Hell, for me it was turning on my mic in public matches in overwatch and just trying to be positive toward my team.
yeah... even by women that are damn near the same as you, they are perfect little angels while you're invisible.
@@jeffreychandler8418womp womp
Women get special rewards while men special punishments women built this toxicity now they are reaping what they sow and blaming everyone else for what they have done brother don't listen to the empty hateful words of dumpsters see how you can better yourself see how you can fight they hate you because they put you in the same category as the thugs and hoodlums they have been run through by and left in the dirt because they never loved her
Yeah, be careful about that. I’m 5’2, and some “blackpill” guys were basically trying to get me to give up on life
Having already been down a similar rabbit hole, I didn’t wanna go down there again
You can't even go online anymore without seeing one comment saying how much they hate/blame men. It really hurts to see. I get we're not perfect, but there's a disturbing vitriol and generalization towards males.
Well, why do you listen to these comments? Im sorry, but if you take the opinions of random losers online that close to heart, then the problem might be yourself. A few bad individuals you saw online doesnt mean the west has fallen.
The thing about those people is they have been ran though by the most toxic bad boys and left in the dirt now they blame everyone but themselves for what happened they are just bitter old fools
The important thing is to take heart. Women, especially now in the US, are upset that the world continues to disappoint them, disgrard their autonomy for all the progress thats been made theres, unfortunately, a very, VERY, vocal population that wants to and has the influence to take things back.
It will not be easy at first, but so long as you remember and stay true to yourself, know in your own mind that you arent the vile kind of man they rightfully rebuke, then know theu arent speaking to you. Realistically, these folks who have hatred in men are hurting. By understanding they are, it helps make sense of things.
Rise above these people, treat others with dignity and respect. And you will nurture your own.
Funnily enough, the people who were doing that are the reason why their side lost the election
because they dont realize that anti-male rhetoric doesn't harm bad men. the evil men don't care about you going on a diatribe about how men are evil. it's the nice, normal guys catching strays that end up becoming radicalized by such vitriol.
For the lonely guys out there, I'll just second what's being said here at the end especially.
I'm 42, male, and I just came out of 2 decades of deep, dark depression and Passive SI (occasionally dipping into Active).
First, get outside. Seriously. Get sunlight, in your eyes and on your skin. Doesn't have to be for super long, and take care not to overexpose yourself, but that stuff matters.
Tend to your hygiene.
Eat good/healthy food at least once a day, or as much as you can manage/afford. Junk food and high carb stuff makes it worse.
EXERCISE. For real. Even if it's just a little bit at first. I had a hard time because of injuries, but I went for short walks, then longer ones. I'm doing 3-5 miles a day, 5 days a week, working out 3 day a week. It has made a WORLD of difference in my mood and mentality.
Learn about your childhood wounds and the damage they do. I've discovered I was suffering from symptoms of Complex PTSD, Anxious Attachment and some other things that come from the development period between birth and toddler. They can be improved, if not outright fixed, but it takes effort, knowledge and often, someone to talk to.
Maybe see a therapist or counselor. Or a religious leader, trusted friend, parent, whoever you feel safe doing that with. Don't hold everything in. Emotions don't go away when you suppress them, they just come out in other ways that hurt you, make things worse, or hurt others you care about.
I've also found breathing techniques like Box Breathing, 4-2-6-2 breathing really help me get grounded when I feel overwhelmed.
Mindfulness and breath meditation pretty regularly, along with some emotion and gratitude journaling have also helped tremendously.
Hopefully someone finds at least one of these to be helpful. I still haven't fixed everything, or found the woman I want to be with, but that's the beauty of it. As long as I'm still here, it's not too late.
I'll end with a slightly out-of-context quote from one of my favorite book series (Wheel of Time) that I've adapted for my own meaning against my struggles with SI and depression: "Almost dead yesterday, maybe dead tomorrow. But alive, gloriously alive today!"
Don't give up, guys.
Really good post. Thanks for sharing your story.
meanwhile the only things this does is make you content with life. Not satisfied. And women only like this shit when you're 10/10
@@jeffreychandler8418 we'll see
great post. Thanks a lot!
Youre inspirational dude. Always keep going. Your tips will definitely help someone out there, and thank you for posting
I've never had a friend talk to me first and ask how I'm doing. If I stopped engaging first, that would literally be the end of it.
Josh, I totally get you. Literally me in all of my friendships. Hey, wanna be friends? Maybe UA-cam might be a good place to meet people haha😂
Time to move on, leave your toxic place, I promise it's not the whole world like that. I wish someone had told me this fifty years ago. Maybe I wouldn't have had such a shit life, 😢
@alankuruvilla8939 The only thing I met on UA-cam is the Spanish Inquisition. Canceled every time I post anything 😢
yup. there has been one friend that actually engages with me like a human.
Everyone else is scum
The only ppl I call friends are those who message me as much as I message them, even if it's just sending memes and reels. At least they think about me 😂, by they I mean like two ppl
As a male I tell people how I feel, but they just turn around and tell me I'm being dramatic. I tend to slip in as jokes and it may be heard, but nobody truly listens.
This is a great topic, but the constant qualifiers of “Oh btw the way, women feel loneliness too!”
We know this already. You already did a video on it.
It feels like whenever issues about men are talked about, there’s always that asterisk afterwards that slightly downplays those issues.
And when it’s done in reverse about women’s issues and you say “men go through things too” you’re seen as belittling the experience of women by going what about this?
Let’s have something that’s ours for once please. 😅
Female loneliness is mostly self-inflicted, free of external interference.
Whereas male loneliness is mostly a biproduct of the society men reside in.
So yes, male loneliness is a far greater issue than female loneliness, actually. And to pretend that it's not reeks of virtue-signaling.
@@ueIlidk if I agree with that
The disclaimer is crazy annoying
The fact you felt the need to put a disclaimer when addressing this subject is a good start to finding out why we have this problem.
Got to maintain that DEI, right?
Ill admit im pretty lonely most of the time, but i also have to admit a lot of it is my own doing. And so im stuck on this loop where i treasure my alone time but desperately want to share my moments with someone. But life is long and very strange. You just walk your path and who knows? maybe someone will eventually tag along.
This is my duality as well. I find it hard to relate to ppl and visa versa, so I ended up just getting used to being a loner. Yet still I find myself craving a partner and ppl who understand me.
Worst thing is is that people do try to get to know me, but as mentioned before, the lack of common interests prevents me truly making any connections and I feel worse
As a Korean American male, I faced a lot of pressure growing up to be perfect and never showing weakness or making mistakes. This type of pressure often came from within my own community, where I was bullied by other Koreans and Korean Americans for not conforming to certain expectations. The constant criticism and judgment led me to feel incredibly lonely and isolated, as if I didn’t belong anywhere. It’s a painful reality that many of us face, and to this day I often question my self-worth, like I am a failed Korean and that I don’t belong on this earth. Lately I have been speaking with crisis counselors about this, oftentimes as I contemplate whether I should take my own life at this point.
Please dont im sorry youve been alienated by your own people perhaps you can move and meet people less judgemental and more accepting of who you are wish you the best friend :)
Hello, i am a Spanish speaker so my English is bad, actually I am here to read words and phrases, but I want to tell you that you can do many things to be better, you can make friends and talk with them about your problems or try to change the way that you see yourself, you don't have to reach the standard's of other people to be happy. You should be happy and proud with what you are achieving.
I do not have the exact same experiences as you but I have always had to be the perfect son, student, musician, friend, etc. People all over the world can feel like failures. I hope that the counseling can help you
hang in there i dont have the answer because I suffer from depression but I can relate and I care
Hey. Please don’t take your own life. Not only will it make your pain worse, but it will also hurt everyone around you, including the people that love you
The only thing that has been saving me from male loneliness is making music, skateboarding, family, and last but not least… this UA-cam channel. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
Well sir continue to fight the good fight. One thing to think positive about in that is that you still have some family to talk to. Some of us don't even have parents or family members we can trust. Mine tried telling me I was a failure. That was not exactly the most useful and uplifting thing to hear. I rarely talk to them now.
That's awesome that you are staying creative
@@biblesforbreakfast I don’t mean to come off as dramatic… but staying creative making music and being active skateboarding is pretty much the only reason I’m still alive and have any desire to live. If you dig through my UA-cam channel and listen to what I’m saying in my music… you’ll understand lol I’m confident. Specifically my song/music video “Anymore” will give you a good insight into my mind and circumstance.
Also, getting along with my family is more of a recent thing, and I’m still learning how to utilize and be grateful for them in my life now. I did something absolutely wild a few months ago that nearly killed me… but strangely enough, brought me closer to my family and sobered me up for good.
To live life to the fullest AND be grateful for every positive/negative experience is something that I’ve learned to do through deep loneliness. It isn’t easy… but I believe everybody is capable of this. Man or woman, any other belief in that has to be limiting in some way.
Much love to you and everyone else who might stumble upon and read all this mess. We got this.
Thanks for talking about men too! As a girl im proud of that,most of the people talks about women only,and this is sad and makes me angry. For me men and women are at the same level,men aren't only strong and don't need help,men are like women,strong but sometimes needs help.
Thank you, i feel like one thing that a lot of people forget is that, male or female. Both are human, both are people, there isn’t a better one.
@KebinKaslana10 👍
Lol no.
@@diehardernxgt2161why do you say this stuff?
@@Epic-so3ek a girl who says she cares for mens problems. Lmao that line alone is funnier than most stand-up comedians nowadays.
As an introvert, I don’t mind being alone, but I am very lonely. The few people I do have in my life encourage me to go out and meet new people. The problem I face is that everyone I meet seems toxic and in the past, I have been repeatedly hurt by those people. So why would I engage with a society that is toxic and determined to hurt me?
I don't go out often. Too many sour faces and sour people 😢
I feel you chief, that’s the hard part. It’s like a loop, something i suffer from with many things, you finally decide to come out of your shell to try to meet someone new, despite being scared of them being toxic or hurtful, said person ends being toxic or hurtful, further reaffirming your fear and making it harder to meet someone new the next time, repeating over and over again until the doubt paralyzes you. I wish you the best buddy.
You are keeping yourself self safe which is good. If you want i suggest trying to find some support groups centered around mental health. Or you can really express how you feel to your friends. Since so many people are lonely nowadays I'm sure someone would be happy that you shared this with them.
Because humans are trash, so who really cares about us?
Nobody
I feel your pain, I have never been good at making friends. I’m quiet and keep myself to myself who struggles to trust people. I also have a disability which restricts how much I can get out. I have never felt like I fit in, like I’m somehow broken. I need friends but, lack the know how to do it. It really hurts.
I turned 30 last month and both my siblings are getting married next year while I haven’t gotten to experience a connection with anyone
You hit the nail on the head my school days completely screwed me up I’ve never recovered
Similar story here. Everyone I know is married or in a relationship already.
In school we were all shoved into rooms with each other for eight hours a day. Now we have freedom of association!... and the absence of human contact that comes with it.
I share the same story u do, but I develop enough skill to start a conversation with people anywhere I go. None of us get lucky with meeting someone in highschool or college, or even if we do meet someone, they end up being toxic for us. But society hasn't put in enough effort to help those outside of those environments to help find love easily. We have apps where ppl choose for shallow reasons, dating events that want you to consistently pay to get at least 1 connection while incentivizing a lack of companionship, a shit ton of dating advice that borders on encouraging toxic dynamics that are akin to transactional relationships, and social circles and communities that are very politically polarized to the point of alienation. It's a fucked up world out there that needs careful thought and deliberate action to navigate it well and find a place you can call your home. Until a better solution comes along, that's where we've come to.
I have been behind on life for years. Both my siblings have a girl/boyfriend, while i cant even look women in the eyes.
If im doomed to rot up in loneliness, so be it. Thats what i apparantely deserve.
Being in a healthy relationship I am very happy with, I very much agree I used to feel lonely and unlovable. My heart goes out to anyone struggling with any sort of mental setback and I hope it gets better for all of you.
IMO Sadly social media made us more connected but also quite distant, i dont think social media interaction is enough, its different in real life.
This is exactly why i refuse to touch social media. I saw all this coming from day 1.
@@jimbob-ic5kcsir you’re on youtube
Lonely and alone for over five years now and remission is hard and slow. Nobody saves you, including psychological care.
🤝
Psychology is made to make you stay longer and pay more not really cure you in the long run some actually try their best while others just want to take more money from you it's the way of the world
I could write a lecture on male loneliness and the deplorable state of dating in current society. They perpetuate each other and there are very few systems or reliable programs in place to amend these issues. We’ve come a long way in recent years to acknowledge mental issues but haven’t yet crossed the emotional issue barrier. Mental health is important to improve the self and understanding helps bridge gaps socially but until we start acknowledging the detrimental things in society that are causing issues with our individual emotional health, we will eventually destroy our social structure.
Instagram
@@pietjestront2858 and tinder
Leave about the female not caring about male loneliness.. I have seen countless of men putting down men just because they show emotions or open up about themselves
It's like you have only yourself in the end and you should just stick with that until the end
You’ve hit on something really deep-sometimes the biggest barriers to men opening up aren’t external but come from other men. That “toughen up” mentality can feel suffocating, as if vulnerability equals weakness. It’s a harsh reality, but the fact that you see this cycle means you’re already breaking it. Maybe it feels like you’re on your own sometimes, but even a small step toward finding people who value that openness can shift things. You deserve that space.
The facts still remins that women dint care about male loneliness so
and even then, even if all men stop it, a lot of women also attack men for showing emotion, continuining the cycle
@@JACQUEZ23 and why should they? They're not our babysitters and we're not their babysitters. Your lonliness is your problem, deal with it.
@@JACQUEZ23some women don’t care about men are lonely and some men don’t care that women are getting @bused and being treated wrongly in every country. It’s a shame really that it’s like this 😞
Homelessness and joblessness is especially a major factor. I’ve lost friends as a result of their living situation worsening to the point where they became too dependent and time consuming for others to deal with. Desperation due to economic pressures blows…
It’s hard for men to even make friends with other men.
It’s all about: “How can you be useful to me.”
“My time is valuable, you should consider yourself lucky I’m spending time with you”
This video was hard to watch for me. I’m 35 sitting at home alone wishing to have a romantic relationship, but due to low self esteem, I was and continue to be unable to find a partner, even outright rejecting the very few chances I had, fearing I would not be good enough or simply not having feelings towards the other person. I tried online dating but no matter what I did I was only greeted with silence. I do not blame the other person for that, since I understand that online dating for females is just a constant bombardment of messages, but I do wish I would at least get a “no” or a “sorry”. It’s just so heartbreaking to be ignored outright.
The sad thing is, I recently found a community I like and care for. I found lots of dear friends and the accomplishments I made greatly boosted my self confidence, but I fear that it is too little, too late and I’m way past the age where finding love would be possible for me.
Lol, I love the cold apathy of this world. It's time to adapt and be always ready for the worst. Did you really expect some good and genuine relationship on this planet? Funny, I thought that I was only one. This world is freaky isn't it?
@@lukascisar6740r/im14andthisisdeep ahh comment 💀
@@lukascisar6740 If you think you are helping, you are not.
I’m male, and I have a lot of friends and a lot of family, so I’m not that lonely in terms of my social life. When it comes to romance, though, I’m as lonely as it gets, simply because I’m very picky!
-Diego the rainbow starperson
Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes Steve_porss1, I share similar experiences with anxiety, depression, PTSD, and addiction. Psilocybin mushrooms have been a game-changer for me, aiding greatly in my recovery and sobriety.
I wish those were more easily accessible where I live.
Microdosing was my next step for my husband. He's 59 & dealing with lots of mental health challenges, possible CTE & a TBI that put him in a coma for 8 days. Unfortunately, I had to get a TPO since he's 6'6, over 300 pounds, and showing violent behavior, constantly talking about harming others. He's aggressive. To anyone reading this, if you're familiar with BPD, is it common to have an obsession with violence?
Is he on instagram?
Steve_porss1 is the man
as a female, i would say that i do get it. seeing my brother and all, but he doesnt open up, no matter how much i try to get close he gets away. making me feel such a bad older sister. i appreciate those who are struggling and wanting and trying to get over it, whether its opening up or anything else. men need to open up for us to understand. i may say wrong, but i am just saying from my perspective as i really dont know any man beside my father and brother, i dont even have male friends. its funny how women wants to open up but gets shut often, saying stop crying and control your emotion. and men doesnt open up to maintain the ego society created, cruel and complex- saying men shouldnt feel sad.
why would he open up when everytime he has it's thrown in his face about how evil he must be?
Women don't want men to open up. They want men to be over it.
A man that "fixed himself" and has emotions but not enough to affect her? she'll love that. A man that is still struggling and has emotions that will likely affect her? ew what a creep.
@@jeffreychandler8418 i am sorry for guys like you who faced this, but as I said from my perceptive. Everyone is not the same. My parents are so understanding that we really try hard to reach him. We got yo know that he was being bullied in school and getting into bad things, we tried doing everything from our position but if he doesn't open up no matter how much I push, it doesn't matter.
The last paragraph, you said, girls doesn't be like always 'happy' with a 'fixed himself' guy who doesn't effect her, KNOWING that he struggles. And not also be happy with a guy who struggles but has effect on her. Here, what is the effect? Harming or hurting? If that is, it is to be expected that the girl would leave. But can you say she never once tried to ask him what the problem is? Not all guy, but some doesn't ever talk about them, how much do we need to push them to open up? If he doesn't admit he is struggling or even showing the willingness to be better BUT has the effect on her, surely she would leave for her betterment. But KNOWING he struggles but saying he fixed himself, that wouldn't make the girl happy if she is at least decent.
@@jeffreychandler8418 i am really sorry for what you and some guys out there going through, but as i said from my prespective, no one, and not even my parents made my brother feel like that. i get to know that he was being bullied in school and getting into bad things, i tried to reach him, my parents tries to reach him, contacting scl and all but they dont bring the 100% fruit if he doesnt open up. what does he fear of even? it was nver thrown to his face that how evil he is for opening up. i think no one should be, idk what is your situation.
and it is not like women dont want men to open up, i have seen all my life watching my mom nagging my father until he opened up, be it business struggles or anything.
and the last para you said, girls arent always 'happy' whenn they are with a guy who 'fixed himself' KNOWING he is struggling, they want their man to open up, at least thats what i would want. and struggling and having emotions that will likely effect her- what is the effect here? harming or hurting?
if so, and if the man doesnt explain or whatsover, the girl would leave for her betterment. but if he doesnt show the willingness of getting over it, and doesnt ever once open up for 'fearing girls would rub it in their face' it's their problem. if she doesnt listen to you, that girl just not for you, if the girl cares even a bit, she would want the man to rely on her and feel free to share his struggles and WILL to get over it.
a lot of talking but just saying cz everyone isnt the same
He'd probably open up to you. You'd get the ick then he'd exit earth out of shame
@@jeffreychandler8418 Stop caring so damn much about what women want. You're making your life revolve around impressing women to the detriment of your mental health and then complaining that their judgements and expectations are hurting you. If you give people total power over you they are going to trample you. Giving women "the ick" is not the end of the world. Really! The most important thing you can do is give yourself permission to be true to yourself, to be authentic. No relationship you build with *anyone* will be worth a damn if you're not being authentic. You're never not going to be alone if the real you is so ashamed of himself he won't even come out from under the covers. If you're going to be alone anyway then just be yourself and give them the ick! So what?
I think I must give like 90% of women and not a small number of men the ick. I go half, I cried on my first date with my current partner and I like videogames. I called my friend and cried to him over my last breakup for like an hour while he was trying to cheer me up, and the woman I met on my first date knows about it because I told her. xD So what if it might have turned her off? Who cares?
But hey, I stumbled upon someone weird who actually found that endearing, and that is *genuine* appreciation. And I made a friend who is genuinely supportive of me when I needed to talk to him. Me, with my real feelings, insecurities, hobbies and interests, and quirks, not some ridiculous role I'm playing. I mean I don't know where it will go, but I would definitely never have stumbled upon her or him if I was too busy trying to stop myself from *being* myself so that these faceless masses of people I don't even like or care about won't get the 'ick'.
Seriously. Give them the ick! Make 'em squirm! They deserve the discomfort for all I care! They're superficial prats with no emotional depth who are themselves alone, because all the people around them are as fake as they are! You don't owe them anything. 😛
Lonely 27-year-old dude here. This video
resonated with me a lot, and I appreciate your emphasis on how
it's not just romantic loneliness, but group-based ones too.
This past year was centered
on self-improvement for me.
I got addicted to Cardio, and I lost a ton of weight. Gained much needed
confidence as well as increased cognition skills. I don't want to specify the
specifics on what my bad days were like, but it does get easier each time.
Like you said, it's just about that first step. This year's resolution?
Do what I did last year. Take the first step, and start getting out there socially.
Think of it as part of your character arc,
and seek to learn the right lessons as you do.
sorry to break it to you man, but unless cardio turned you into a 10/10, going out socially won't fix anything.
I often hear lots of other guys around me complain about drama and things that are happening with their relationships and it makes me feel even more alone because I've never had a romantic partner in my life. If they ever want to talk to me about their relationship issues, I would be like. At least you have a relationship, I'd kill to have the issues you have, I would fix it instantly.
I am 42 years old. No friends. No social life. No partner. No home. No children. No legacy. But at least I have a job.
I live with my parents as they’re the only family I have left. I dread to think of the day when they’re both pass away. I don’t think at that point I’d want to live anymore. The loneliness will kill me.
You're fortunate to have your parents. I am estranged from mine. So when I've been alone, I've been *really* alone. As in, knowing if I had a heart attack or health problem one day, either I'd make it to the telephone in time to call an ambulance, or I would just drop dead on the spot and nobody would notice anything maybe for weeks or months when they came to investigate the smell. I've struggled to try to build connections, but it is very scary... it takes time to build trust with people, and feel confident they won't leave or betray you, and without a healthy family as a base to build from it often feels like stabs in the dark, opening up just to be crushed over and over again, pushing the same rock up the same hill forever like Sisyphus. But I think it's important to do all the same. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Nice to know I’m not alone in being alone
As it as a neurodiverse person with weak social skills in my youth, I can attest that while high school in college were great places to SEE girls, they were far from the best places to meet them, much less to start relationships. The entire atmosphere of our schools is completely poisonous. Sadly, that puts us late bloomers at a disadvantage, because by the time we finally gotten our feet under us, and gotten our heads together, there either seems to be no one around, or they’re too young..
Romantic-wise, I've been single for most of my life. I'm about to be 31-years-old and I haven't found that person for me yet. I date every now and then, but I'm not as lucky in the dating game as others. It could be because I'm more of a nerdy dude, the way I look, height, or whatever physical attributes I have. There's always a sense of loneliness for me in that area. In terms of platonic, it's been pretty good. I have learned how to be alone and try to not let the lonely thoughts take over. In terms of dating, I don't want to push women into dating a dude that they don't like despite of this loneliness epidemic. I'm always trying to steer away from that incel mindset too just because of how that group is. Date who you want to date because you have genuine feelings for the person and those feelings are mutual, not because you are lonely.
The content you guys put out is nice as per usual. I always appreciate them.
That said, I feel the song, "Used to the pain" applies here. After a long enough time, well, it is just another thing that is part of the normal.
A lot of other options for help require money. So, that doesn't tend to help, but hopefully it helps others.
I have just turned 32 and feel so lonely that the frustration, confusion, and anger that I feel towards the world is indescribable. It feels like I have been betrayed by life.
I'm so sorry you feel like that. 😢
Timestamps
1). Defining loneliness 1:19
2). Where is all of this loneliness coming from. And why men 2:07
3). Romanticizing loneliness 3:53
4). Technology 4:59
5). Loneliness as a trap 6:45
6). How it affects everyone 7:50
7). Defeating loneliness 8:33
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. Sorry this is so late. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
its kinda hard to do anything when you live in the middle of nowhere and the pandemic killed the little social skills i had
So True Dude
I know right, I hope it goes well for you
You can continue to make excuses or you can do something about it.
I am a female INTJ in her mid - late 30s. I know this video is about men, but i am so lonely. It just feels like no one values anyone anymore. It’s sad. People are so quick to dismiss and so superficial. I want to be around genuine kind and good people with no hidden agenda. I feel like an alien. I go to work and just focus on myself. I don’t bother trying to date anymore even though people find me attractive. I just hate how the world is nowadays. I do try to mentor students to provide value in this world. Sigh.
I am a male in my 40's. I am rediscovering my peace in being alone. I am learning to love myself and treat myself better. I have "bouts" of loneliness... but have learned that I am comfortable with being alone. This is 2 years after my last 2-year-long relationship...
The best advice I can offer is that You are Your Story's MAIN CHARACTER. You can and will develop regardless of other characters in your story.😊
to be honest, I stopped using social media a while ago and have since began to get outside more and just feel like i’m living my life. I feel lonely only in a sense of romance sometimes… but i’ve been seriously hurt in the past so i can’t put it past myself to feel that way. I have a good group of friends, but during the winter we’re all off and doing our own thing. that’s when my mental health gets really bad.
Social media is an echo chamber for cancer 😢
I have social anxiety and fears of being ignored, rejected, or taken advantage by women, because it has happened in my past several times. Life kind of feels bland, games don't seem as much fun anymore even with friends, and family is just there and not extremely helpful. I am in my mid 30's and I just feel in limbo. I have hobbies outside of work, but they don't really bring me much joy either. I am also usually too tired to exercise after work.
I feel stuck in a liminal space too.
Since the video mentioned "the Incel community" (which is more a collection of communities) i'll give my two cents to the people who are confused to what that might entail.
1. (For the sake of having a credible voice I state); I moderate a decently large (200+ members) Incel server.
Positives:
1. Most members are non-misogynist "typical-loners" in there.
2. Interacting with men in there has given me perspective and a sense of community
3. Shared problems and common topics discussion can help give perspective.
Negatives
1. Jokes and the posting of reactionary/harmful/politically extreme images can get out of hand from the vocal minority of toxic/troll members.
2. the use of irony draws a blurry line between what is expressed and what is meant.
3. when people talk about their problems it can often turn into a loop of people getting addicted to others feelings of loneliness and depression rather than any solid answers or action.
thank you for this video
Sadly, we have created an environment for ourselves, but haven't adapted fast enough to survive.
so what its our own fault or what? this is why men getting more lonely is cos we get blamed all the time
@@mrwolf3939If it is your fault then yes.
@@mrwolf3939it’s literally because of men like you that don’t take accountability for your own gender. A male dominated world.
other men seek validation from other men.
Same men then teach their children from a young age that”boys don’t cry” so yall can’t express your feelings like normal people. Which leads to men coping in horrible ways or just becoming a terrible man. And before you try not all men but obviously a big part of yall for there to be an epidemic.
@@mrwolf3939the only one blaming is you. You don't even understand the conversation and somehow concluded that you are being blamed somehow. People here are being supportive of men and their struggles and somehow you misunderstood such a statement as blame. Sit down and listen before you jump to erroneous conclusions
@@dominiquewindom5820lonliness is my fault?
Been lonely my whole life. I had a friend who was like a brother to me but he passed from cancer 2 years ago and i miss my partner so much who i haven't talked to in days. Loneliness is hella painful when you don't want it.
the fact that you have to put such an elaborate disclaimer at the start of the video is alarming. Not doing that would instantly get you tons of hate from people claiming you are a woman-hating incel.
probably because so many men blame women for them being lonely and we're sick of it?😢
@@ziggye3096 ah the legendary 'nice guys'. Fat neckbeard losers with no friends. Ye these creatures are too whiny.
@@ziggye3096 What kinda answer is that. If majority of women dont care to even have friendships with these men, dont be suprised they turn out as shit men. If every guy in school had a good woman friend, you would see much more good men and much less shit men. You created a problem and now you whine about being sick of it.
Of course men blame women. If all the men who dont have any friends would stop working, you would not have your civilization anymore.
Of course you will never understand, you are still a child
This video is 3 years late, we all broke
Sadly true. Maybe in another life things were better. Or maybe this is always how things were gonna be.
I am horrifically exhausted and lonely to the point of debilitating depression and thoughts of terrible things
Pray to God about it He will heal you dude
@trash3042 that's not how God works lol
If you're reading this you're way more than you believe and you're never alone 🤍
I’m 24 years old. I’m single and I have no friends. I want to have friends but the people I work with and the people I have familiarised myself with presently terrify me. I don’t know whether it’s because I’m vastly different from other people or if people are just mean but all I want is to be seen, loved and happy
It’s always hard to put yourself out there man. The way I was able to do it was go to somewhere mural like a fast food place or small restaurant casually. Then eventually one of you will talk and from there it can keep going or not. Choice is yours man this worked with me but everyone is different.
People underestimate how hard of an age 24 is.
Here before the flood of "be happy alone" people
eh, not worth it to reach out. You reach out and they ignore you, neglect you, lie to you. Just find peace in yourself and never get your hopes up tbh. Wait for someone to give a shit about you. That's the only reliable option
@jeffreychandler8418 Imo you cant really expect people to care if you dont reach out.
Some of wat you said I so agree with but Id say reach while still being cautious and careful
Sigh its never easy being a person in general. Theres always criticism everywhere you go, thats why its best to ignore and move on. Dont let peoples thoughts bring you down.
At home I'm basically prohibited from feeling or expressing anything that might indicate loneliness which unsurprisingly only worsens it. I've stopped talking about anything I struggle with to my family for that and other reasons. Mental healthcare isn't optimal either here. It's fine in most cases, but once the problems become a bit more complex the go-to response I got is "Yea that's awful to hear. I'll pretend to care about your questions and give you some prescription to help with something that's not even the actual issue".
At least I have some friends mostly online, and with one of them I can share literally everything. We both have our crap to deal with, and even though what we have greatly differs because of the severity of our disorders we can understand each other nonetheless since we have some overlap in our additional problems. Though a few differences are very helpful for me. More experience in life, and actually has her life back on track (mostly). Also more perceptive about social things, so thanks to her I actually have some hope that my life might get better at some point.
I've been trying to reach out to people I see regularly for the last year. No one wants anything to do with me, much less to hear about my problems. Even the people who claim to care aren't there to even listen. Self improvement only made me feel even more jaded that no one wants to be around me. Been trying this start small plan for about a year. No bites yet. People are polite but the message is clear. No one has time for a new friend. No one's interested.
"Men competing with other men in a competition that women dont even realize they're judging."
Thats the realest snapshot of socio-gender dynamics that I've heard in a long time!
Great work Psych2Go team!!!
And as they deny, gaslight or add ful to the fire, why should we become feminist wimps?
Except they do realize. That's why it's so easy for them to manipulate and they know it, they always knew.
@@new1runo they don't. This comment section is filled with guys that somehow think they understand the dynamics, and actually do not.
@@rw5622 Reread the comment. It's women that supposedly "don't realize that they are judging". The person you responded to is stating that women do, in fact, realize they are judging the competition.
Men created the patriarchy which is what hold them to that standard. Just saying it’s kinda their own doing
I realize that I am just one comment among many, but I hope this pierces through. I am very glad in both videos it was made clear how loneliness affects ALL humans, it is a shared experience/feeling/burden and I am quite shocked to see some throw blame and generalize others as genders, we are not genders, we are more than that, everyone has uniqueness, sometimes we can't always see it. All and all, both videos shed light onto something I find very relatable, loneliness. I hope we can all hug the world together❤
So I wanted to say, Amazing job on the research and in general, both the videos themselves (The rise of male/female loneliness) are very nice!❤
I wish every one of you a happier day : )
Job/financial stability is a big factor for my loneliness. Been struggling for years to find a financially stable situation that I also find fulfilling but no luck so far (current job I'm in is neither). Hopefully I can get something figured out soon, then I can try entering the dating world.
اول مره اشاهد فيديو لك ، جذبني الموضوع وأنا أعاني منه كذلك " حتى و الجميع حولي لازلت اشعر بالوحدة " لكني لازلت أقاوم الأمر واتطلع للتحسن 👍🏻
The rise of male loneliness is a growing concern that many people overlook. Men often face societal pressure to be strong and independent, which can make it harder for them to open up about their emotions. This leads to isolation and a lack of meaningful connections. It's important to challenge these stereotypes and create spaces where men can express themselves and build stronger support networks.
Their inability to communicate how they feel can also end up hurting innocent people,permanently (mentally and/or physically) and that’s just not ok. At what point do you take responsibility for how you treat others without having to point out “BUT YOU ALSO DID” or “THIS APPLIES TO WOMEN AS WELL”. Not even trying to be mean. I understand that men have it rough but at some point,you’re responsible for how you choose to navigate the world. That goes for both genders.
Very good observation. Men deserve kindness and support. Whatever hardships you are dealing with, you have to believe that you are worthy enough to receive that. I'm glad there are so many people out there that recognize and empathize with that struggle.
@@peabody23Go to hell. Stop saying "but men are bad people".
@@peabody23your comment is harmful and irrelevant.
@@peabody23"their inability to communicate how they feel" I don't know about that. A big issue we have is often we have nobody that listens. It's not an "inability" per say, but rather... that nobody cares, so they don't really talk about it.
I agree about the whole communication thing though. Glad we promote mental awareness and start encouraging people to go to therapy more, so we all can heal and stop hurting others.
And, traumas or not, we are indeed 100% responsible for how we show up and treat each others.
You guys help with my mental health thank you it means alot to me
00:20 “as a woman identifying as male I know everything that a man has gone through and I know the experience first hand of male loneliness, even though I have been identifying as male for the past year”. Either you are born a male or you aren’t a male but just want to be.
POV : you don't know what you are talking about.
By all means men, keep improving yourself forever and ever, only a few of you will ever be good enough for people.
Additional thoughts. Looking at cultural messaging, there's one message I get sent my way no matter where I go; I'm expendable, because I'm a man. Also, I get hit with how I'm definitely evil based on my gender pretty often. It's often disguised behind a complaint allegedly targeted at specific men, but the disguise is very loose and easily recognized once you've seen it a few times.
I spend a lot of my time immersing myself in environments that have a different narrative, and tend to be a bit stubborn. If I was the sort to internalize everything I repeatedly hear, I would believe that I was worthless, at fault for everything ever, and ought to spend the rest of my life atoning for my sins by solving other people's problems and expect nothing in return.
That to say, if you say nothing when those around you are parroting "men are trash," don't be surprised when men toss themselves away.
You have some really concerning beliefs right here to unpack. It would be helpful to think about where these beliefs came from. The good news is that the stuff you are saying is absolutely 100% untrue. Which might give you some hope, but will probably mostly offend you. If you take the time to listen to the messages you might be surprised at what society actually says about men.
@@rw5622great stuff to do with success but if you want people to give a shit its harder
@@rw5622 LMFAO "100% untrue" meanwhile I have dealt with it myself where a woman allegedly "only targeting a specific kind of man" threw me in that bin despite behaviors that did not match with those specific men.
If anything it's worse than this guy presents. You mention you have any mental health issue at all? nearly every woman will believe you want them to be their mommy, or that you're using it to manipulate them.
You mention you get remotely any incling of any anger based emotion? she will view you as violent.
You mention you're a virgin in your 20's 30's? she'll believe you're a sex fiend.
It's anti reality all because of the decades of propaganda against men.
Toxic and abusive parents also play a major role in this male loneliness
especially toxic mothers.
@jeffreychandler8418 yes exactly before few days my mother smashed a groom into my back and to distribute the force as possible I put my hand back and as a result of which the groom backed into my forearm and I got dark red Bruise. In my 18 years of life my parents has the most contribution in damaging my mental sanity.
Due to my narcissistic mother and a less narcissistic father who gave me my first PC below the age below 10 I always felt lonely and distract myself.
I can't create friendships. No matter what I do.
I can easily connect with everyone. But keeping those relations always fails.
I have a very low self esteem due to my mother who always has to manipulate me with her opinions.
To since last year I have no more contract with her.
Also I work on my future occupation to move out of my country to begin a new life to battle my depression (and loneliness).
I wish everyone reading this (no gender specific) all the strength necessary to reach your goals 👍🏼
It is pretty tough out here. I know people that are narcissists from both male and female sides and I could literally feel my own self-esteem shrink because of how they describe themselves as "better-than-you" and it got worse due to the pandemic when i couldn't physically interact with people at all.
Now, I'm dealing with the aftermath of my upbringing as a sheltered kid. I couldn't go out and have fun with friends, go to hangouts, or go to the playground back then. I had to go back home after school right away and it was slowly eating me away. Now that I'm an adult, I always second guess my approach with people and I have lots of social anxiety on making connections with people. It also doesn't help that I compare myself to my friends over social media. Its pretty tough out here.
Nearly a third of this video was disclaimers.
Yeah. Its so annoying.
Just look at google in mens day. they didnt even made a custom icon for mens day, but they made for womens day. Women have no idea of how lonely would be a men's life.
we don’t care. stop whining like a little b!tçh
They never do it for international mens day
last year they did it for German Herren-/Vatertag (Fathersday)
also notice how suddenly theres this new "red shawl day" that just so happens to sit on international mens day....
No one talks about International Men's Day.
thats everyday lmao
😂😂😂joke of the year
The replies here are examples why no one talks about it
A dude blaming other men...mangina detected!
I retired and live alone, sometimes I won't talk to another person for days, I keep my mind and body busy,
I am never lonely,
My few close friendships that lasted decades have all passed away and people nowadays are just so strange, I love my choice of being alone,
I feel lonely as a male too.. before having a girlfriend and after breaking up after almost a year, I’ve always felt really cold and starved of affection and closeness to the point where it affected me a little as a person, I get more easily frustrated and stressed. I start to lose hope
I so so so desperately want someone I can be my full self with (other than myself, that gets old). but alas, I'm only useful if I am useful and quiet about myself
I have that, too. I believe it's called learned helplessness. I have asked for love and help for what seems to be all the wrong places. Eventually, I got burnt out and shifted my focus on improving myself and not needing anyone.
I did the same, but then when I finally found someone that seemed to all be in the right places, all of my trauma came roaring back with a vengeance. Never enough for these people. I can only feel contempt for them.
I'm looking for a job. No job = no value, no value = no relationships.
at least you’re aware
Bingo, we either canon fodder or wallets
@@j.davila4523oh brotherrrrr. yall wanna be victims so bad.
That’s so sad. What happened to love? Everyone is so superficial now.
@@vvvnokk8309I don't think this is a problem of "now".
“Identify as male” is WILD….! 😭🙏
As a male, I try to chat with friends new and old, but my conversations get dropped rather quickly. It doesn't feel good to feel like a lesser priority.
Why do I feel called out so many times when I see the title of the latest video that this channel has published ? You are doing such a good job, thank you for your work.
I blame the economy and social media. Social media has made us comparing our life to the (usually only positive) posts we see online, while at the same time serving as a substitute for not fixing our own lives. And the bad economy has made it near impossible for a good portion of the society to even archive basic things like stability and security. No wonder that friendships and relationships fall by the wayside. Counts for both genders btw.
Yep. Any discussion of the “loneliness epidemic” that doesn’t mention the need for multiple jobs to stay afloat and the loss of third spaces for socializing is missing a BIG part of the picture. This video almost got there by pointing out that high school & college are the times when people can form relationships but didn’t bother to dive into why that is.
@@melasnexperience
Embrace the Cold
Facts
These points are all well and good. They are definitely valid points and touch on good subjects as to why men struggle with things like loneliness, mental health, processing emotions, etc.
But sadly, the reality of....well....reality is that the real world doesn't give 2 shits about mens "feelings". If you don't make enough money, you're failure as a man. If you're emotional, you're weak and women turn away. Being in touch with your emotions and things, then your chances of getting a promotion at work go significantly down.
Like I said, these points are great. They're great talking points and are definitely things we struggle with. Unfortunately, we have to deal with them in private, by ourselves, and try not to let the world know what is REALLY going on if we want to have a snowballs chance in hell at success.
Being alone is very different to being lonely. Let's not forget that. I've been Monk for 16 years now, and wouldn't have it any other way. As Tolkien wisely said - "not all who wander are lost".
I think embracing being alone as opposed to feeling lonely in the wrong group of people is something people need to recognize when talking about this conversation. Its that subtle difference that needs to be ackowledged.
I'm lonely at times. But thats not a bad thing knowing that I have a support network.
Loneliness in men is caused by A) societal expectations that a man should marry and support a wife and children, and B) rejection of the lone wolf mentality.
The truth is, the first few years of being alone are tough. But once you embrace the idea of being alone, bachelorhood is habit forming. But you have to accept that is fine to go it alone.
It turns into a game of comparisons. People would rather assume the emotions of someone based on what they perceive to be true. I found that our perception of ourselves tend to reflect out onto the environment and the people around us. All we have in the end are two things, our physical and mental health, social circles will come and go. Personally, I use to feel lonely, but then I realized that all I needed was a change in perspective and now that emotion doesn't surface as much anymore.
39 male here I have always been alone but I never felt lonely. One of the biggest mistakes you can do is to place yourself as a victim
Own your shortcomings /truly accept yourself as the result of your choices and do what you can with what you have
Agree, I learned from my mother. She was always the victim after thirty years I got bored and moved on, 😊
I'm 44 and my best years are behind me. Lonely, financially struggling, getting old. I know this will come to pass, but time waits for no one.
I have realized that I have a life of peace and quiet ahead of me, and slowly learning to accept it. Besides, if I work on and improve myself, then "the right person will come along"...
Right? Isn't that the way it works?
The only thing I have for certain is that the company of a woman is no longer in the menu, especially with this current economic, dating and societal climate that shows no signs of changing for the better.
I feel so defeated and depleted after writing it all out and having my comment disappeare. I see idiots downplaying the loneliness it in the comments and I can't even explain why they're wrong because it took an hour to type something that UA-cam erased in less time than an eye-blink. :(
Apparently Im to blame cause in 1986 some man passed some law.
Thank you for making this video
I experience it in a way that I don't have anyone to share my thoughts and feelings with. No one to feel close, to connect. That's why even though I may be in a room full of people, people I may know for years, I still feel lonely.
Hello Psych2go,and all the people who are watching this,this is kind off topic. But I have been following this channel for the past 2 years when i was in a very difficult situation,and I used to watch their videos since I didn’t had any access to my phone and only to my computer because I had bad grades at school. It was a very stressful moment for me,and now watching videos like this always keep me calm and actually help me a lot and I’ve also been following this channel to help the others. Thank you for helping me and trying to find stuff about myself that I didn’t knew,and that I’ve figured out thanks to this amazing channel. I am recommending all of my friends this channel because it’s more helpful than what it seems 💞💞
I used to deal with really bad romantic loneliness, as I can count on one hand the number of romantic relationships I've had in my life, but I would need a supercomputer to count my rejections. But what I have found to be very helpful to myself is changing how I view my relationships with women. I have decided to grow from seeing women as a group of people from whom I should find a partner, to genuinely enjoying them as friends. Men have this awful way of putting other men down for not "pulling girls" and making that something akin to status is toxic, so the best thing for us is to do away with that kind of thinking and for men, women, and our non-binary friends to all enjoy each other as people. I've been much happier with my life since going on this introspective journey.
To anyone and everyone who may be feeling lonely and vengeful, please open your heart. Dont let that feeling of anger cloud your vision and make you a worse person than your capable of. It sucks but never ever give up. You will find your space. Keep your heart open and listen to those that need help. We all want to be wanted and loved, so go out there and prove that you arent a stereotypical, aggressive guy. Be caring, have a big heart. You'll find someone who appreciates it.
We had male spaces, golf, gentlemans clubs, bars. Some better ones boy scouts, military. Now every place must include women. If there are women only spaces there should be some men only spaces? Plus the culture is insanely anti men and any grievances we have are disregarded and labeled as sexist or wimpy. So we leave, we depart and do our own things.
So true. I look back on high school and university and wish I had put more effort into finding someone back then. It's harder to make friends when you're older and rebuilding my social life post-COVID has been a real challenge.