7 Signs of Undiagnosed Autism in Adults
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- Опубліковано 9 тра 2024
- Can you spot the signs of undiagnosed Autism in adults? How to tell if you have autism? Undiagnosed autism in adults is a lot more common than you think. There is one or more autistic children in every classroom nowadays and this is not an epidemic. We were all here all along. It’s just that diagnosis can be challenging because to accurately see autism in adults, we need to let go of unhelpful stereotypes. In this video, I will share 7 signs of undiagnosed autism in autistic adults.
🎞️Timestamps:
0:00 Introduction
0:19 Social Interactions of autistic adults
2:35 The Need for Structure and Rouine in Autism
3:38 Internal Executive Function Routines
4:06 Sensory Sensitivity comes in different forms
5:32 What is a Spiky Skillset?
10:15 Unusual Associations
11:51 The person is just a bit different
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👋Welcome to Autism From The Inside!!!
If you're autistic or think you or someone you love might be on the autism spectrum, this channel is for you!
I'm Paul Micallef, and I discovered my own autism at age 30.
Yes, I know, I don't look autistic. That's exactly why I started this channel in the first place because if I didn't show you, you would never know.
Autism affects many (if not all!) aspects of our lives, so on this channel, I want to show you what Autism looks like in real people and give you some insight into what's happening for us on the inside. We'll break down myths and misconceptions, discuss how to embrace autism and live well, and share what it's like to be an autistic person.
Join me as I share what I've found along my journey, so you don't have to learn it the hard way.
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Peace,
~ Paul
#autism #asd #autismawareness
I can usually tell when someone "is like me." You will know if you are around other autistic people. Somehow, it feels "normal."
Yes. I usually can spot others like me quickly, and those are most interesting conversations I always have.
💯
I thought I was recognizing another non normie
Yes
In my 68 years I have NEVER met anyone who even faintly resembles me in any way whatsoever. But I have been relentlessly bullied, harassed, humiliated, ridiculed, crapped on and basically treated like garbage so I guess that makes up for it.
I always feel like everyone else knows exactly what is going on except me - like they all had a meeting I missed.
I felt that way in school. Getting glasses so I could read things and see what was going on helped :P
LOL
That makes sense, because now that you mention it, I don't remember ever seeing you at a meeting.
so true
@@Kube_Dog😂😂
I'm always the odd one out in social gatherings. That's why I avoid them and just enjoy my personal hobbies.
Nothing wrong with that. At the age of sixty, I finally came to the conclusion that people are just not worth the effort. Wish I had known that when I was young. It would have made my life so much easier.
I agree.Totally people.I trust.Authorized trusted, we're just using me.That's all what I need a favor nobody can help me
I host the gatherings and we do them at parks so we can all go home after a few hours of fun. Color wars are a great way to get all the loved ones together without social awkwardness because we are busy throwing paint at each other's faces.
Yes and they are also very boring. I am reducing my social interactions for 40% this year compared to previous year. So draining and not much inspiring, interesting or mentally stimulating. My problem is that I say yes to people I care about and that often means going places with them, and doing things I don't wanna do. Now radically reducing doing this and also reducing amount of communication with too many people.
I'm not autistic but npd, hpd and I try to barge in. Never has good results.
"Amusing oneself is ways that are unlikely to be amusing to other people."
That's a keeper.
I don't have autism... but that sounds exactly like me.
Not a wanker then?
Or one could be work shopping a joke they wrote
@@EricThe82 It's totally okay to have some things in common with us NDs, we won't bite. :)
@@NiaLaLa_V I have ADHD. It is both a curse and a superpower. I can build things and do non repetitive tasks like a super hero... if it requires organization and repetition, then I am doomed.
#9, the quiet dude in a lobby somewhere that just bursts out laughing for no obvious reason. That's me. My brain is a constant source of amusement, and there will be times that I run scenarios that just happen to make me laugh out loud.
Me too!! I try to mask it the best that I can but it slips out with me too. And when I'm alone it happens a lot. I had a very close very autistic long time friend who did that all the time too. He'd explain immediately after. And I don't think he masked anything at all.
Same!
I know that my unmasking is working because I’m finally doing that again- as a kid it was my normal but I got culturally ABA’d out of it. I’m also caring far, far less about how OTHERS think something should look, be done, behave like, blah blah blah- their culture sucks so why should I care? My life gets better the less I care about NT culture. 😊
When I used to go to movie theaters (before the plague), commonly I'd burst out laughing at a scene - but I'd be the only one laughing in the audience. Yes, different.
@@rjparker2414 I've had that happen too.
"One of the reasons I need stability and routine and secutrity is because I _am_ so flexible."
Wow that makes a lot of sense. I really do need routine but I also feel quite malleable and open, and I couldn't reconcile the two.
Same here.
Yes, I relate to that.
I still can't..
Yes that's me 😂
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9:10 "Autistic shutdown and withdrawal is a huge challenge in many relationships"
bro you just turned a searchlight on my darkest corner
My face was the grimace emoji that whole segment.
This has definitely been one of the big ones for my husband and I. Now that I understand his autism better, I understand the situations and he spends less time isolating himself. One time after an argument he isolated and refused to speak to me for over a month. Not even a hello not even I love you, nothing. Not one word came out of his mouth when I was around. But that doesn't happen anymore now that I am beginning to understand.
I was 56 years old when I was diagnosed Autistic. I like being Autistic because I still love all of the things that I loved when I was a young boy. It was my daughter that helped me figure it out because of my fascination with all things trains. Today I am a retired Locomotive Engineer, and my basement (and the house) is wall to wall model trains. I was diagnosed Savant before I was diagnosed Autistic. Being Autistic is not so bad!!! Now I help the parents of Autistic children, and teach them that Autism is not "the big bad cookie monster" that they thought it was. Autism can be kind of fun!!!
Autism definitely hasn't been fun for me.
@@invisibleink2644 If I could ask, where do you fall on the spectrum? I might be able to help you. Have you taken the evaluation that gives you a number? Anything that puts you over an 18 indicates that you are Autistic. I scored a 23 on my good days, and 29 on my bad days. A bad day is when I am struggling with physical pain. I also have Secondary Progressive MS, thanks to the water at Camp Lejeune. I was injured while I was in the Military. The VA has given me my P&T rating. That means that I am Permanently & Totally disabled. Life is still very, very good though!!! I am also an INFJ personality. There were a lot of Marines that just did not understand me. Back then I did not know that I am Autistic. I know that I can help you. When someone is trying to help you, and they are not Autistic, sometimes they can do more damage than good----I know that I can help you!!!
@invisibleink2644 hopefully you can find the good in yourself and enjoy life
@@marthaaldridge5346 I already have---thanks!
If you are a retired locomotive engineer you are not really autistic. Sorry but that is the truth. Stop diluting the water of those who are really autistic. Who can’t function or even live by the selves.
The unusual associations one hits hard, sometimes the connection/reference will genuinely be the funniest thing in the world to me, but the joke falls completely flat for others lol
That or I make a connection I think is completely sensible and everyone else is laughing...
YEEEESSSS
Same here. Usually I'm the only one in a group that finds something very funny (especially if I came up with it), while I almost never find funny jokes or general things that are funny to everyone else in that same group.
Regarding general topics for conversation, I am bored to death with 95% of things that people around me discuss or wanna talk about. Which is especially annoying when I'm at work and can't escape them. I'd rather be in silence that talk for the sake of it or discuss uninteresting things.
😂😂 I know
YES! Regardless of the set up, my response is often the one that’s not in congruence with the majority 😅
I’ve always noticed in conversation with people, that im obviously not responding the way they expect.
Flip it! They're not responding the way you expect
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I don’t notice but later am told.
Yeah, no one follows the script I have in my head.
What's helped me is don't over think it..some people are just not very friendly...or jealous
My good guy husband says " in school I alwayd perfered to look out the window. Daydreaming is necessary for creativity ". Of course report cards were never the high spot in the week !
i got called out for daydreaming during assembly once. my homeroom teacher said the entire faculty was talking about me. but i remember that day clearly, i was thinking why my teacher's voice sounds like it was from the window in the next building instead of from the speakers near the podium. of course they cant find the correlation between my behaviour and the high marks i got in science lol
I was the same. I always just remembered that the closer to the window you are, the more of a main character you are in anime logic, lol. I was always sad when it was real nice outside and I was stuck in air conditioned hell doing work I had no interest in. I also had undiagnosed learning disabilities in maths and reading...so school was a bitch.
Damn, science was my worst class always. I love science and studying how the world works, maybe they just made it too much about rote memorization and paperwork for it to work for me. :/@@izzatihassan1475
My biggest "problem" as an autist is that I can not lie. I am always totally honest and that does not come down well.
Most autistic people can lie.
I know what you mean!
You’re very well capable of lying. It’s just that you cannot fake enthusiasm
Crippling honesty.. if you don't think it's disabling, you haven't had to try and grind in late stage, greed based capitalism.
Of course I understand technically the concept of lying and can do it in a mechanistic but not convincing way. What I have never been able to do is the kind of in between thing of "bigging up" or "bluffing" in for example a job interview, making it seem I had more responsibility for something than I actually did. Neurotypicals seem to be able to magically take a kernel of truth and make it into something much more, but equally magically know just how far they can go while still seeming convincing.
I am Autistic and I am the one who most always understands what people are feeling. My family and friends always come to me and say it seems like you are the only one who understands and that I am the canary in the cage for knowing what people are really going through. I have annoyingly super sensitive acurate reading empathy and it's not some hippy BS. Autism is not always a deficiency in abilty, it falls outside the norm, often it is a more advanced ability and vastly better than the normies abilities.. You gotta tell the full story here. Not all autistic people struggle in life and need assistance. Some of us assist the normies with their maladaption.
And sometimes your perspective can be wrong.
"Canary in the cage" - that's a fitting analogy...whether you start to sing or choke
I believe the understanding of others but sometimes not saying anything or not entertaining the natural and very intuitive thoughs that are had - has everything to do with masking. When one makes the decision to really focus on understanding someone else, like usual the info is naturally there in seed form, but the commitment to taking it further (and unmasking for this occasion) makes very evident that some (on the spectrum) have a very big 'spike' in this ability as evidenced that they're really, really good at it. In short, sometimes unmasking to uncover a 'spike ability' is where one is found to really shine.
@@randomCHELdad Obviously. I am not an actual mindreader... lol. I'm aware of basic laws of logic and rationale. The rules don't change. Don't assume you are right unless you have evidence from the source. Everything is only suspected until proven. The same laws of sanity apply to brains on the spectrum.
@@sonicdewd I don't really mask at all. I was that kid that didn't care to mask but I do understand that my thoughts are my business. What goes through my head about other people isn't something I just blurt out because I think I know. Many people would find it invasive if you just tell them what you think they are feeling. If you are granted consent and invited you can ask questions...
I was just diagnosed with autism and it’s changing my life for the better, my schools, psychologists and primary doctors refused to even entertain that I could be autistic and/or adhd just based on me being “social” (masking) and being a girl. Here I am almost 15 years later with my diagnosis, thank you for posting :))
I am going through the same frustration right now with my new counselor; I don't understand why doctors and therapists don't want to even consider the possibility. I mean, isn't a good medical practitioner supposed to be open-minded to all possibilities, without a bias? I was trying to avoid the idea that I might have autism for YEARS, because I didn't understand what it was, and people only think about the really obvious stereotypes (of spinning and twirling in public, making loud noises, and having meltdowns in the middle of the store). And people talk about autistic people as if they aren't very smart (except for maybe with their special interest); but I know very well that our brains are constantly coming up with ideas, and we can be pretty logical (especially with our literal style of thinking). At least my counselor told me that he can pick up on something like autism (he referred to Asperger's as if wasn't the same as autism; to maybe indicate that I have faulty thinking or something? I don't know). I was using the term Asperger's when I first discovered the world of autism almost 3 years ago, and then I learned that people weren't using the term anymore, and so I wanted to be more adequate in trying to use the word "autism" instead. It's a tough slope to climb, I will agree with that for sure!
Being an afab or person that’s perceived as that sucks when you’re Autistic, everyone knew I was a weirdo, every teacher, every doctor, every friends parent saw me as different or pitied me (I also grew up with lots of traumatic stuff so that did it too)
But everyone knows, no one advocates for you or tries to speak up when professionals don’t do their job and ignore you!
What you said about being afraid of the autism diagnosis is SO REAL, the first time I was ever made aware of the possibility of being autistic is my mom saying, in a seemingly “insulting” way “oh my god, are you autistic?” (My brother is diagnosed with autism)
I was super scared of that being true and pushed it wayyy down, this was like 5-6 years ago. October of 2022 I finally figured out that it indeed wasn’t the first diagnosis (bpd) it’s autism and adhd.
It’s crazy how a few stupid kids (me included, honestly) have used or continue to use “autistic” as a slur and how that LITERALLY is a direct cause of at least hundreds of autistic people too scared to face their condition, or too scared to be open about it. I mean the main “fundraiser for autism” is AUTISM SPEAKS. enough said.
Fantastic, going for mine at 63 , who knew ✌️
@@briellerl034 Yeah, it's definitely frustrating for me to discovery autism as an adult, but the people closest to me don't want to think that I am autistic. They just want me to keep going to doctors and counselors to try and figure out what ELSE it could possibly be (they seem like they want it to be ANYTHING but autism). They believed me when I told them that I had social anxiety, depression, OCD, ADHD, Emotional PTSD, and sensory issues though; but all of that couldn't possibly be autism though 🤦♀️). They figure that there must be some other disorder to add to the list, instead of just acknowledging that those are autistic traits (and I have many more). Just because I am not doing the stereotypical things (like making loud noises in public, spinning, and being completely mute), doesn't mean that I don't have the other 30+ traits. I did a lot of spinning in the living room as a kid, and outside though. I didn't do it public, and if I think back, I DO make vocal sounds when in distress or stressed, but not loud (and not like in the middle of a mall or something). We can only hope that doctors and counselors get more educated, and not be afraid to at least assess people for it. If a person happens to get a counselor who had been practicing therapy for 20 years, chances are they hardly touched the subject of autism during college and university. I have a minor in psychology and I think that it might have been briefly mentioned once out of the 15 psychology courses that I took. I think that I remember reading 2 paragraphs in a text book one year out of my 4 years as psychology student.
I got mine at 70. I could have gotten help in the 3rd grade. But my stepdad prohibited me being tested threatening to have me shot or sent away to juvenile prison to stop my mom or I from getting help.
I have autism, I was diagnosed with it when I was 15. I tried shrooms and it made me function so much better.
Eek I’m autistic too and might wanna try mushrooms. How do I go about it?
Yeah doc.brenttt is your guide. Man is exceptional with anything psychedelics.
Hello Can he be reached on IG?
Yes doc.Brenttt
Despite the recent research on psychedelics,,there’s no realistic timeline for when,, or if, psychedelic will be approved by FDA..
My example for spiky skillset is I have a really hard time remembering names, but I rarely forget a face.
With me, I am bad with both names and faces but pretty good at remembering specific things they mentioned they were interested in once. And also I'm really good at shape language and color theory when it comes to art, but not perspective or shading.
I tell people i have a photographic memory, "but the dymo keeps falling off my polaroids"
Same here. I struggle terribly with names, but will easily recall significant facts about someone, such as their birthday, where they went to school, how many children they have, and the like.
Someone could walk up to me and say "My name is John Smith. What's my name?" and I would say "Ah...ah.. I..I..I don't know."
Same!
I've written a book that was recently published 'Living with Autism Undiagnosed '. Got my diagnosis at age 57.
I want to get diagnosed…. 50
I’m 67. Undiagnosed by a professional. All of this really hits home with me. Mom PCP thinks I just have social anxiety- which I do…… because of my autism?
Read my book, I wrote it yo help people like you.
I'm in my early 50s, I'm seeking a diagnosis... My child was diagnosed with Asperger's
Ordered! Thank you!
LOL!!! Yes, that IS a valid 8th category. I LOVE amusing myself. Sometimes ill be messing around with my wife or son, and I'll be making myself laugh hard (I often do), and one of them will let me know that they absolutely don't see the humor. I'll laugh even harder and say, "I know! That one was for me!"
Bravo!
I’m always laughing to myself & at myself & at…everything! Others are always struck by it.
When people don’t laugh at my jokes I just tell them that it doesn’t matter if you are entertained, as long as I am. lol.
❤
😅😂
I've never been tested, and don't really care one way or the other if I'm on the spectrum or not. I've always been a little different. In my youth, it was a liability that I tried to cover up. Now that I'm a senior, being different is definitely an asset. I've learned to accept myself as I am, be the best me that I can be, and just let the chips fall where they may as to whether others accept me or not.
Accepting your autism is the greatest freedom. Accept that you will not fit in so that you can stop trying so hard. Enjoy being your wonderful self. You don’t need the world’s approval. Approve of yourself 😊😊😊😊🙏
Love this. Thanks for articulating it.
An then what? People reject you and you get fired from your job? Is not realistic for most people to stop trying bc has horrible consecuences
@@anab8412wow, you certainly have their best at heart.😐
@@justiceiria869 I said what I said bc is a thing that gives me a lot of pain
@@anab8412 I agree with that. One needs to fit in with others in order to succeed at a job and to have friends. People should not accept their autism because it can lead to failure in life and loneliness. They need to work to change and be more like the other people around them.
So painful to hear #7. Suffered my whole life as “different“. Very lonely. Own family holding me at arm’s length. Luckily intelligence came with it - could think out of the box - was very needed in corporate setting - had a great career but no lasting relationships. Outcomes not so great.
Yeah I ll admit you can’t ever see the positive in this one. I have dreams about being on the outside of a house while everyone is indoors having hot drinks and wine and talking. I know I’ll never be in there and stay in there with them…. Even when I’m accepted , I’m not the one whose birthday people celebrate, or the first they think to invite-unless they have no one else. Or they may think my family is wealthy or something to gain from me or pity. There is no changing this. Eventually you just realize it. COVID was great because everyone was reduced to almost the aame
@@visionvixxen WOW‼️ your last sentence is so wonderful‼️YES‼️
@@visionvixxen I have definitely been there. Am kinda there right now. But I will say there are ways around it. Finding the right group of people really has helped me at certain points in my life. In high school I volunteered at an aquarium with a bunch of quirky, interesting people (many of whom I realized later were probably neurodivergent). I got even luckier at undergrad, attending an honors college which was basically built for neurodivergent people without explicitly saying it (once again only realized after I got my own diagnosis). So finding groups of other neurodivergents- especially autistic people- can be really incredible. That said, it is easier said than done. Im working on building a new community in a new place, and its taken almost 3 years and an autism diagnosis to really even start to feel the semblance of these connections. But its definitely worth it, and definitely possible. I wish you the best in trying to find it!
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Boomerang,
I have no idea why I feel the need to reply to your post?... For whatever reason, it resonates with me. I have not been diagnosed with Autism, and maybe that's why life has been so hard for me?... I am the outsider; the one who feels awkward all the time in public. I always feel like the dumbest person in the room. I don't pick up on social cues. I don't make friends. I have no relationship with 99% of my family. I don't get invited to social functions. When I want to do something, I usually have to do it alone. I have failed, for a multitude of reasons, at every job I had.
It is so wonderful that you were successful in your career!! Good luck to you! 🤗
Amusing themselves in ways that may not be amusing to others.
That hits so hard. 😂 what can I say? I crack myself up. I have a good time.
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I find myself very funny. LOL
I'm like Humpty Dumpty.
i punch walls whenever i'm taking shower.
don't tell me to stop, i can't. It's my tick.
I was waiting for a family member to finish a medical consultation for a long time this afternoon, and I started to think about Margot Robbie naming her daughter "Cradle", like all the other stupid names Hollywood people come up with. Then the vows would be "Do you take Cradle Robbie to be your lawfully wedded wife?" You know, because if you have a cradle robber, you also need to have a cradle robbee.
Anyway, I thought this was hilarious and the dead time in the lobby flew by in a heartbeat.
I'm 62. I manage to muddle along OK so I don't know if there's any point to getting an "official" diagnosis but so much of this hits home. I've found "my tribe" in the larp community where so many seem to have an autistic or ADHD diagnosis. Hanging out with my fellow nerds is just so much more relaxing and they all understand when I need to step out to "catch up with myself" for a bit.
My son has high functioning autism. He didn’t get diagnosed until after he graduated from high school. I believe that his father, my ex husband, had autism but was never diagnosed.
When my son was diagnosed, I started researching that condition, and the books that were the most helpful were written by mothers who had an autistic child. They had a lot of practical advice that was very helpful. When I observe a child showing signs of autism, I talk to the parent right away, and give them as much information as possible. The younger they are when they get diagnosed, the sooner the family can start understanding them. They will hopefully not over react to their behaviors, and hopefully be able to help them to avoid situations that can cause behaviors.
I wish my son would have been diagnosed sooner, since our lives would have been a lot easier. I wish I could say that my son is easier to get along with, and in some ways he is, but mostly it’s up to me to guide him through life. He does not understand a lot of what is going on, in any given situation. But in some ways, he has helped me to see things from a different perspective.
Now he has lost his hearing, and that makes it even harder to help him. Given the chance, I would not change him even if I could. Maybe I’m just used to him, but the situation has helped me to grow and understand even more about life, and being more sympathetic towards others and their hardships and situations.
Sounds like you are a great mum then. You deeply care for your child and want nothing but the best for him. That's honestly so refreshing to read in a society where more and more people isolate themselves, especially, because dating has become a pain in the ass (and not the good one, if you get me...)! 🙌❤
I would like to know how your son lost his hearing. If you could tell me that it would be awesome. But I fully respect it if you don't want to go into more detail about your son on the internet. Have a great life and learn about new things every day ✌
I hate scanning a QR code at a restaurant!
Me too!
Really why??
Never done it, can't seem to adjust to QR codes.
Also I go to a restaurant not just to eat but to have interaction with the staff. If it’s all impersonal with apps, what’s the point? I can do that at home and just pick it up.
I have a similar problem with my banking app. No longer have a local high street bank branch, so forced online. It is a permanent problem.
I’m not sure if anyone else feels the same, but I just wanted to say how grateful I am for your videos. I used to be really ashamed of the face that I was on the spectrum, and these videos have helped me not only accepting my autism, but also helping me be proud of it.
I appreciate these videos, too. And I think I like the comments section just as much. It has allowed me to see that there are so many other people out there who are similar to me. I can converse with them from the safety, privacy, and comfort of my own home. And I can feel more free to learn about what autism is really like through autistic people's eyes, including Paul's.
And you know what I've found? I like the people I find here. I like the thoughts they share. And I like the trates that I have found that a lot of us have in common.
To me, neurodivergence isn't actually the split away from the norm. To me, the characteristics that are labled as neurodivergent are actually the way humans originally were. Our trates are what seem to make the most sense to survive and even thrive in a natural setting within a tribe. To me what's considered neurotypical now is actually what diverged from what humans once were. They've lost all of the trates that would have helped them to survive. Instead the bulk of humanity has developed one particular skill to an extreme. And that's the ability to blend with a very large group of people in what has become a crazy enormous population.
I could go on and on about that. But I'm actually really glad to have many of the beautiful qualities that are labled as neurodivergent today.
I hope those thoughts of mine help you, and hopefully others, to feel a little less odd and a little more beautiful for who you/they/we are.
@@anyascelticcreations You wrote «...the way humans originally were. » I find this VERY interesting! It's kinda hard to certify this is right about our ancestors, but it's very tempting to believe it! That means WE would now be the retardeds of evolution!!! (JOKE) More realistically and positively, it means too that we are the ones who remained awake! No?
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@@armandrioux3660 Yep, pretty much impossible to certify that our ancestors were what is now called neurodivergent. But it sure makes sense that it would be true. I've commented many times about it on this channel and have had many wonderful conversations as a result. You're welcome to look them up if you'd like to read what I and other people had to say about it. If I wasn't in a post mini-meltdown state and utterly exhausted right now I'd probably say a lot more because it's a subject I'm very interested in. But briefly, I guess one could say that we've remained awake, like you said. That's probably a nicer way to say it than how I look at it. Lol. I think of the bulk of the human population as devolving. Or at the very least evolving very far away from what I believe were our roots. And in many ways, I think that humanity in general has lost a lot of very good traits in the process. I think of those of us who are now called divergent to be at least somewhat close to what was actually diverged from. Someday I'd like to start a chat or something about that somewhere. If I knew how. Lol.
I don't know if I'm on the spectrum , but I was DX with ADHD late in life. ( 97th percentile on the tests LOL) There are def. pros and cons to being neurodivergent, but shame is not an option. Frankly I'm proud of how well I've done in life unmedicated. Now I know why it was so hard. I'm also happy with being different and creative. I find ' normal ' people a bit boring.
I don't know if I am autistic or have ADD or if it's all part of being INFP-T.
I just wonder why I'm 54 years old and still can't function as a normal adult.
Everything is difficult or scary and overwhelms me.
❤
A lot of this just strikes me as introverted intuition, and whatever flavor it comes in. American culture is extroverted and sensory in an almost perverted way, to the point many extroverts mistake themselves for introverts. Real introverts are demonized as potential school-sh**ters, and parents and teachers will do unbelievably nasty things to force children to extrovert.
This entire system so abusive that normal introverted intuitives end up traumatized, and they get some BS late diagnosis after a lifetime of abuse. Getting pathologized is still more acceptable than being considered introverted. It is legal to discriminate against introverts in America. You couldn't do that in, let's say, Finland, or in Australia.
How much time do you spend worrying about what other people think of you rather than just getting on and living life that best suits you
I am learning just to enjoy myself and hang around with people who also don't care. Being 50+ is awesome. I hang out hours every day with nudists - we have all reached the point where we don't care about appearances and learned to just accept anything, and be accepted - best thing that happened in my life.
Good news....you are normal for you! I recently decided it was ok to be exactly how I am. So much happier.😂
1:10 "Meltdowns, shutdowns and withdrawals" are my middle names. 😂😂😂
I've always been the odd person out, even in my own family. So much so that I asked my parents if I was adopted because I felt I wasn't like anyone else. I make tangential connections that others can't see unless I take them through the long and winding road to that connection. I get overwhelmed by too much social interaction, trying to fit in and hold that mask up is just too hard, but I still like people just in a limited way. I tend to communicate differently, saying the wrong thing without even realizing I've done so. I'm taken aback when someone is offended or angered by something I've said, not realizing why they are reacting like that. I never intend to provoke others in those ways, but it just seems to be the case with me. Dealing with others can be exhausting. I have a lot of empathy, and if people are patient enough and explain why they came to feel the way they do about something I've said, I can see how it came to be that I hurt or provoked them in some way and am all to happy to explain what I actually meant and apologize. I can often can be pedantic - I just don't fit, except with very patient, tolerant folks. Evenings when I'm tired and hurting, it's easy for me to melt down with even small stressors. I like my routines because I know how to be inside those perimeters.
I have had the very same problem!!! I have learned to just NOT TALK to normal people. I just let my Autism go where it wants to take me, and that has NOT BEEN A MISTAKE. Trying to live in a normal world was almost impossible. I simply learned to quit talking to normal people. I learned to quit giving advice, because no one understood it. I stopped letting people give ME advice. Follow your Autism and let it take you where IT wants to take you. TRAINS HEAL AUTISM!!! Get on Google and type in "trains and autism". IT WILL BLOW YOU AWAY with what you find!!!
sorchaOtwo Thank you for posting this...I feel exactly the same way!
Identical in almost every way.
If you wish to, please feel free to give examples. I've been told it's quite cathartic and has become something of a method for me to deal with my own problems.
Down with the QR-code menu!
Down with self-ckeckout machines!
Up with QR code menus and self-checkout machine! I never want to interact with another person, ordering with a waiter is super stressful.
As someone who is (self-diagnosed) on the Autism Spectrum, I developed a bunch of "Routines" to deal with people. All are well rehearsed and practiced. Many involve quite the comedy routine that Neurotypical people overwhelmingly enjoy. This has made it VERY easy for me to interact with waitstaff at restaurants.
On the other hand, if things don't work out the way I "Planned" for them to, as can frequently happen with computers (including the badly misnamed "Smart" phones), I wig out. This has left me with quite the phobia about working with anything computerized, save in the simplest of manners (such as watching UA-cam videos and some emailing).
I have yet to work one of those QR things and have had enough problems with attempts that I'm no longer willing to even try with them.
If they use QR code menus, they had better have free WiFi that is super easy to access.
You walk up, thinking about getting something to eat. Pull out your phone, spend too long trying to get onto the wifi, especially with all the marketing questionnaires, well, I will give up and go elsewhere ( Oh well, KFC is just 5 minutes away ). You have lost a customer for ever.
Down with being forced into one single path to resolve a question. How hard is it really to have the menu written up on the wall as well as offering the QR code for those who prefer it? Or to offer a staffed checkout as well as the self-checkout option?
Thank you for being the only Autism UA-camr who I can listen to and look at without feeling stressed by a chaos of colours and lack of script structure. I can watch your videos to the end!
I like how conscientious you seem to be and how you clearly articulate numerous points which may be challenging for a lot of people to verbalize.
A spiky skillset is very clear to me. I am constantly getting asked by others why I can’t do something well when I’m extremely skilled at something else.
Sounds like my dad, "How can you be sooo f***ing smart, yet have no common sense?" Took till age 42 to find the answer to that. It was like coming home.
Thank you so much for all that you share! You are doing a great service to humanity.
My ADHD diagnosis last year at age 40 led to the discovery that I am also autistic and have masked it reasonably well enough to fool everyone…especially myself. I just didn’t know much about autism and thus never suspected it.
Every person’s story I read and every video I watch explaining the autistic experience is like hearing my own life story in granular detail.
This has changed my life in profound ways! It’s been a grieving process, reframing my entire life story…but I’ve come around to accepting it and embracing it…I’m not broken, I’m not selfish, lazy, irresponsible, or crazy, as I had been led to believe…I’m AuDHD and that is ok. So blessed to be celebrated for the things I excel at! Thank you again, the validation has set me free! 🎉
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Was diagnosed with ADHD at age 58 and I've been through all these feelings! YAY US!
@@reneelibby4885 I am beyond thankful that we have all been able to share our stories and support each other! I started school in the late 80s and there were no resources for people like me….I’m sure it goes without saying that it was the same for you; I assume you graduated around 83. All of these things are coming to light! Those of my generation and before have had to suffer through the “dark ages” of ADHD/autism awareness. Hopefully today’s children won’t have to go through this.
Thank you for making these signs exquisitely easy to understand. Your examples helped tremendously. I have to laugh at the “different/differently” because i often entertain myself with nonsensical repetition. My BFF teaches at a school with many autistic children. She pegged me as “leaning autistic.” I also had to laugh when you talked about the new digital menu systems. I taught database internal logic to systems programmers but can’t even think about attempting that “restaurant” method! Another example in that same vein, i have no problem with complicated mathematical computations, yet panic if asked to split menu expenses. I’m sending this video to the rest of my family and to my BFF. Thank you for doing this. I’m looking forward to seeing your other videos. Serendipitously finding you, is a gift. I wish you continued success in your endeavors.
Thank you so much. I have been married for 40 years. Just recently my husband who is still undiagnosed, and I determined he might be autistic. That would be the cause of all of our fights and arguments over the last 40 years. Since I currently assume that that is the case, I've been looking into how to better communicate with him and things have improved greatly. Every one of the things that you listed today hit the nail on the head! Thank you for helping me understand my husband even more.
Did he always seemed not to understand what the issue is? This was my feeling every time there was a problem in my neurotypical relationships. Couldn't understand what they were going on about. Problem seekers I thought. Well obviously I was wrong but didn't know any better.
I for one, found your "different" amusement quite entertaining (in a good way, like "I get that"). Good video btw. Very relatable.
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Stay strong, stay free... your post had me in tears. My son is 60 soon.. and we all know he "is special".. his memory for Historical data is phenomenal.. he can go to page, quote etc without a second thought, when we ask him of events or info.... i watch this beautiful kind intelligent man struggle in all the ways "that Autism is described. Relationships well deserved promotions , passed over, etc etc . How can i help him , i dont have a clue... but i will share this podcast info, if possible thank you for sharing.
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He’s almost 60. You’re not supposed to be helping him anymore. He’s supposed to be taking care of you. You’re also supposed to already know he didn’t deserve those promotions over people who can function socially more easily, as data retention is not as necessary in work environments and people skills.
You can “help him” by lauding his decision to not have kids.
@@nataliaalfonso2662 omg this was such a blunt but very much needed response. parents really do set their special kids up for failure by babying them. what will they do when the parents are gone? waste away alone in a house that the IRS will come take away anyways, that's what.
I can help him!!!
@@nataliaalfonso2662 What ugly things to say.
Thanks for posting something like this. I was late-diagnoseed (Age 50) and it was videos like this one that helped me gain the confidence I needed to talk to my doctor about it. Hopefully this helps a LOT of people!
Thank you sir! Great video with the audio, visuals, etc. It kept me engaged and had me laughing (...amusing oneself...). Hopefully what I have to say is received from my perspective and not seen as me projecting on others... I identify with everything you said, what I am struggling with is, I can see myself falling into the trap of using it as an excuse, to not overcome "pitfalls"... When I was on the football field and failed at something I just put in work to get better... That mentality does not always translate to the real world. Thanks again for educating us who identify or are in support of folks on the spectrum.
"If I can't tell where my body is in space..." That's exactly how I have described my experience to PTs, dance partners, and others over the years who have tried to help me become better coordinated. No one has ever understood or been able to relate.
Thanks for saying that! I was like, "how do I know if it's significantly different??" but your example helps me be like, "ah, yes, definitely." I have several specific scenarios gone awry to turn to haha.
It’s more like at 32 it’s still hard to operate a human body. The aliens living in here are still not acclimated to the environment 😬
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Martial Arts helped me tremendously with this. Your mileage may very though
What are "side effects" of childhood vaccines? Every medical substance/drug has intended And "unintentional" impact. This has not been studied or has it? Neurological impact is real; autism, ADHD and more...
Mostly doing this for myself, even though I've indeed been confirmed autistic twice now by professionals.
1) Social interactions = I find them draining, and I wish to avoid them over being "part of the crew"
2) Structured/Routines = I prefer doing things the "right" way, and think of systems constantly, then things fall apart spectacularly when routine is broken. My mind is always full of many competing thoughts, jostling around and competing with each other. Further, I used to daydream like a champ in my youth... in school.
3) Sensory issues = I noticed so much throughout life that I "felt" and/or perceived certain stimuli much more intensely than others. Also learned to "push through" pain in order to meet certain, odd, "goals"
4) Skill sets = I was a fairly good surfer in my late teens and into my early 20s... I could skate "OK", but could never master moves many others had down pat. Give me something that requires really good hand/eye coordination, matched with a time limit, and I suffer greatly... so video games I shun. Put any type of maths in front of me, up to, but not including calculus, though, and I "go to town", but if you make me write an essay on some social issue, I put it off indefinitely, bc yuck. I really dislike rereading what I have written, and especially do not like editing it.
5) Emotional regulations = I have been known to "snap" and lash out, or scream back, when pushed, or I throw fits, and that's gone on well into my adulthood. I also prefer to, and insist on hiding, when shit gets too much, even when the hiding is taken as a sign of weakness or avoidance by the "abuser"/by others. Some meltdowns happen over things deemed trivial by others.
6) Mental jumps = One of the reason I avoid conversation is just this. My mind goes "off the rails/switches tracks" while trying to follow what the other(s) is/are saying.
7) Different = Many People in my life have deemed me odd, off, quirky, dull, different, etc. on many, many occasions.
"Things fall apart spectacularly when routine is broken". Yes!
Or even just plans. When my perfect plan for the night is broken because someone wants to get a burger or take an earlier train. Don't do this to me, wait, never mind, I'm going there on my own.
Would you mind explaining what you mean by Nr. 3? Pushing through in order to meet goals in what way?
Felt like I wrote your post. In the same boat 😅
@@raipa111 Sports pain, and I suppose a lot of work pain... I know of many of my contemporaries who wouldn't "go as hard", or complain ad nauseam about the pain they're in. I stay mum
My parents used my inability to organically remember birthdays as a guilt weapon. Don’t let it happen to you.
I can't either
I keep a generic calendar with recurring events. Makes life easier
Can't remember my kids birthdays I'm the mum, and their ages....I've no idea when I gave birth so I keep them as passwords to remember
Yeah my sister did that to me all the time. To this day, she still doesn't understand how cruel it is to 'remind me' on the day & treats me like I did something wrong!
Wao i thought this was me... i feliz for a while so bad , i thought i did not care for people ...but i do, i help everytime i can, i feel bad when bad things hapen to orhers so figure its not that. Facebook helps me i made an eford to memorize my mother's and my fathers. I could not remember my grand Mother manden name... i just never tought abaut it. I can renember lots of details abaut useless facts. At leat o see there are others.
We don’t need to even try to meet other autistic people, we’ll naturally just find eachother throughout living our lives, at least that’s my experience. It’s nice to have friends that are ok with you being a little different:)
Been married for 50 years to Asperger'san diagnosed just 7yeats ago so,.. since I was naturally and quickly attracted does this mean I might be on Spectrum also??
I cannot hang out with judgmental people. I would way rather be alone.
It makes life sooooooooo impossible. To never have a group of friends that can read social cues or process empathy or understand true consequences of odd dysfunctional behaviors.
@@meman6964yeah obviously.
@@nataliaalfonso2662 No. Not obviously. I'm not attracted a lot too autistic people. I respect them and I like them if they are nice to me. But I don't have a real preference when it comes to neurotypical vs. neurodiverse people.
My heart goes out to everyone who can't get diagnosis if they really find it important for some reason. I wish to give acceptance, belonging and safety to everyone in that way.
Everything Paul mentioned applies to me, but I am already diagnosed.
I find that most neuro-typicals around me can't remember dates, cook, or read a map, while I can do all that fairly better than them.
People who don't know me well and other than work or while in the public, who don't know I have Autism usually label me as 'intense', 'eccentric', 'different', 'aloof', 'special', 'poker faced', 'rude', 'unapproachable', 'broken record', 'too literal', 'OCD", ''funny', 'with an attitude', 'with a male brain' (I am a woman), etc., and none of those are meant as compliments. Also, lots of name calling now when I am adult and especially when I was small. And people never miss to criticize my use of language (written and spoken). It is a bit different in my personal life, as people who know me like that can see my heart.
Also I get 'mysterious' and 'very interesting' a lot, these are compliments.
One thing that really bothers me is that they won't allow me to bring my cat to work.
Most Neurotypical can’t cook? I’m autistic and I find it very overwhelming, especially meals with more than 5 ingredients. I have to place everything on the counter and I get overwhelmed even when all the steps of the recipe is laid out.
@@taoist32 Most of neurotypicals around me, especially from work, not most of them in general and everywhere. I adore cooking & baking and am very good at it. My local library has a coffee place where you can buy food and coffee and all of their employees are Autistic, they cook amazing dishes, but are also fairy non verbal. Most of my friends with ADHD also say they can't cook as it is too overwhelming. The way how you described overwhelm and having to place everything on the counter describes how it is for me for lots of other things. And I do place everything on the counter when cooking and am very methodical and orderly in a way how I get it done. And my fridge is well organized and sorted out like a spreadsheet at all times.
@@ivanaamidzic I guess it really is different for every autistic person.
@Ivana your 'story' & mine are quite similar *high 5*
I can relate... I know all those words you mentioned only too well... I'm happy to leave my cat at home, I think she might be on the spectrum too...
Thank you for bringing awareness to such a tabooed subject, particularly now that people are becoming more open to acceptance. You are such a great man. Thank you, cheers from New Zealand.
This is the best explanation of the various aspects of Autism bordering on ADHD I have ever heard by far.
When you said “think of a vegetable”, what immediately popped into my head was “chard.”
Everything else resonated immensely.
Much of my family is on the spectrum but my mother refused when i was a kid to get me tested, even though the doctors recommended it.
I have someone I know who is a professional and has told me she suspects I am, but I can’t afford to pursue looking into a diagnosis, so I just fumble my way through coping mechanisms and learning to be easier on myself.
Interesting. What popped into my head was Kier Stammer.
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chard! I love it, LOL
Turnip!
Omg so glad I’m not the only one, he said pick a RANDOM vegetable, not pick a vegetable!!!! Semantics, you can’t tap a neuro-divergent for a group answer and word it like that 😂😂😂
One thing I really find helpful regarding emotional dysregulation is two things:
First, to learn about and regulate my nervous system (this blew me away when I learned about how much it drives a lot of internal turmoil);
Secondly, I got me a set of Emotional Regulation card deck originally created for people with BPD in DBT therapy (I don't have BPD, but find this tool so useful). I carry them with me and can go through them when feel overstimulated and nearing shutdown, which is especially unpleasant when it starts happening at work.
These cards have 4 groups:
Distress Tolerance Skills, Emotional Regulation Skills, Mindfulness Skills and Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills.
Thank you that’s really helpful :) I’m going to start learning how to use those tools too.
@@bones642 You are welcome. Please do, if you have it in you. It is so helpful and empowering!
If you don't mind sharing, where'd you get the DBT card deck/what's it called?
@@zaboomafooba I don't mind at all. I tried posting it here a few times so far, but for some reason it is not visible.
The deck is called *The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Card Deck: 52 Practices to Balance Your Emotions Every Day* and it costs $25 (Canadian dollars).
thank you! I'll have to look into these. ADHD shares the trait of emotional dysregulation and God knows having CPTSD doesn't help.
Thank you! I’m am someone who’s found out late in life that I’m autistic and it explains so much! I haven’t been telling anyone though because I don’t think they’d understand. I think, like me, they think it’s like the stereotypes. I think the info you provide would help a lot for people to understand better and allow me to settle more into myself.
3:11 I HAVE NEVER FELT SO UNDERTOOD MY WHOLE LIFE
Your voice is very soothing to my hears. Thank you for this video!
Are you also mad that over 1000 people have disliked this great insightful video about the autism spectrum?
@@sirbughunter I don’t know how you managed to draw that conclusion from my comment but I am totally fine with people disliking a video on the internet. People have different opinions and they don’t have to agree with each other all the time. It happens. Hope this helps?
@@errrrrrr- The problem is that the algorithm will think the video is bad or something just because some people can't accept the raw truth. This is not about an opinion whether apples or oranges taste better. This is about hard truths which affect many autistic people, like me. So I am disgusted by people downvoting this. I just wanted to vent here. Your comment reminded me of venting about this, because you praised the video and the guy's voice :=P
I’m autistic, but I think I’ve masked in order to survive for most of my life. I suspect that I also have ADHD.
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You do : AD/H/D is the genetic foundation of (all other) neuro-divergence.
P.S. : Just ask Temple Grandin!
@@nanwilder2853 I doubt it.
@@Catlily5: Too lazy to do your own research?
It's so great to see another of your videos, it's been a while. One of your videos was the first one that sent me down the rabbit hole of realizing I'm maybe autistic
I laughed out loud at the last 2 signs! Puce! Artichokes! They all describe me, but those last 2 were particularly great. Thank you so much, Paul, for your content. I have been watching for over a year now and you have helped me realize I am autistic. One of your older videos was what got me started on the journey to this discovery. I have a whole new understanding of my ENTIRE life now.
Thank you for putting out this first hand info. I can totally relate, 900%. Years ago, I used to be involved with adult autistic groups. But they were filled with angry NT mothers that had autistic sons, and that's where the conversations always went. Even the people that ran a lot of these groups were not autistic, but were also angry NT moms of autistic sons. I appreciate this very accurate info. It may not help the assuming NT mind to really understand and accept us just the way we are, but at least it helps us know that we are not alone. That someone does understand. I gave up on groups a long time ago. It's nice to find your channel though 🧡
I feel like this was a custom video made just for me.
This will be so helpful to send to family who don't understand what autism means.
Thank you, great video.
1 Check
2 Check
3 Check
4 Check
5 Check
I don't think I want to play this game anymore...
It's ok, we're all playing the same game here. I checked all the boxes, too.
I find it especially fun to switch between being organized and being chaotic.
Thank you I can’t even say how much I’m grateful to you for your work, your videos! I find myself in all those areas. I joined an autistic community online and I can only say: I’ve never been so much understood and validated! I’ve never before felt so normal! There are amazing people out there, thank to the internet we can interact with each other.
As a teacher on the spectrum, I am able to spot, connect with, and reach my ADHD, Autistic, and other neurodivergent students quickly and my class ends up being their favorite, no matter their skill level in the subject. And they often and up being the kids I enjoy the most as well.
I thought this was much more useful than the typical "10 signs you might be autistic" videos I've seen.
I really like the phrase "spiky skill set"! That really captures the idea, without the negative "obsession" connotation that so many other phrases have.
Thanks for including withdrawal in with meltdowns and shutdowns. For most of my life (I'm about to turn 60), withdrawal has been my go-to response. In the last few years, shutdowns and meltdowns have started to become more common. I hadn't thought to group them together, but now that you mention it, it makes a lot of sense.
Until this video, I would not have attributed my "unusual associations" or weird stream of consciousness segues with autism. I absolutely loved the "Connections" series with James Burke. He presented a series of things that superficially seemed unrelated, then tied them together.
Wow, regarding your third para...me too. I’m about to turn 63. I have always had a fearful avoidant disposition, and overactive fight or flight, but looking back on my life, a lot of my withdrawal was really just need for space. As healthy withdrawal got harder, I started melting down and shutting down more. Things have gotten really bad in recent years.
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"And so, there you have it!" 😍👍 For various health reasons I now no longer watch TV, but back in the day very much enjoyed "Connections".
Hello, my friend! Although you are unaware of it, it has been a while! Good to see you! Wow! You really have your presentation nailed! You are so natural in front of the camera! Your channel has come a long way! Great job! You represent our community well. Thank you! Take care!😀
Summed up so well and explained perfectly, 100% accurate, in my case. The shutdown info was enlightening ,helpful and timely Thank you.
This helped me organize some topics I want to discuss with my psychologist. Thank you!
I used to lock myself in my room and ask my family to not disturb be for 6 hours no matter what, unless there's a major emergency
Congratulations on being a typical teen and/or young adult.
@@Kube_Dog I guess lol
@@shanchahua Yeah, it doesn't mean you're autistic, artistic, simplistic, holistic, nihilistic or trans. The world is truly crazy, like an angry female. Ignore media.
me too around puberty
@@Kube_Dog except that I wasn't at all typical. This happened in the 1970s in a communist country, where no other kid my age ever behaved this way
Dealing with change is a problem/hurdle/challenge. Having to adapt to self service tills! Each store seems to have a different version. People look at you like you're an idiot because you are slow or don't know how it works. Being rushed along by a disassociated voice ordering you to do things, place the item in the area, replace the item etc! We weren't asked, 'how do you feel about having the rug pulled from under your feet in this situation?' For me it's a mixture of despair and anger. The stores never asked, and don't cater for us.
Yup, in the early days of computer tech, there were way more standards for interfaces. Now every GUI is different, I guess in the name of “innovation.” The programs I use at work often move the interface around for no reason when they update. But my brain works by remembered location and muscle memory, and rearranging things is hard on me.
I don’t think I’m on the spectrum but I feel the same about self service tills~ horrible things, they always go wrong for me and I have to call for and wait for help~ what’s the point? It wasn’t designed to benefit customers, it was simply to save money for the supermarkets. This infuriates me.
I despise the disembodied voice of the self check out tills. It keeps telling me not to place things in the bag without scanning them when I have done no such thing!
I know exactly what you mean. More particularly for me, I get bamboozled by the typical parking fee payment regime at airports. At the pay station, I might try to put my credit card into the wrong slot or hold it up to a button, mistaking it for a scanner. At the exit of the parking lot, It can take me a couple of minutes to figure out how to use my ticket to lift the bar to let me out. On the last occasion, the driver of the car following stepped out of his car to show me where to put my ticket. But consider this; I am not autistic and am a qualified mechanical engineering technician with a ton of experience diagnosing industrial control system problems. I have also done lots of computer stuff including CAD and CNC. Spiky Skillset rings a bell here. I am retired now, and face a new challenge; my smartphone. Ahh... that meeting everybody went to. I missed it!
I recently got an ADHD diagnosis as an adult female. Naturally, I have questioned if I'm on the spectrum. I found this video very helpful in organizing my thoughts.
Love the idea of that additional characteristic! Amusing oneself with things that others don't find amusing! Please add that! It's real!
Restaurant offered me a QR code - I showed them my phone (not Smart) - they fetched me a paper menu. I know I couldn't cope with a smartphone.
Learning to use Touchscreen phone was absolute torture for me. Still is.
Why couldn't they just keep making button phones???
@@gendoruwo6322 I agree. I've got MS amongst other things, and my hands are often very shaky, so I'm always making mistakes !
One of the few things i agree with obama on; i miss my blackberry.
Same here. They showed me the QR code, and I showed them my phone which was two tin cans and a string. So I got a paper menu right away. Oops, he just said, "...and an eighth sign of autism, is making snarky comments on UA-cam in response to someone else's comment..." I'm done.
I have one. They're kind of dumb considering nobody uses them as phones anymore.
I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for videos like this. I'd always known something was "wrong" (not wrong but that's the way my brain had interpreted it for a long time) when I was bullied, couldn't connect to my peers and was generally ostracized. I knew I thought differently but I couldn't put my finger on it. I could talk for hours about my experiences despite not recalling most of my life but what I want to say as a self identifying autistic (I'm unsure whether I want a diagnosis but I'm unable to get one right now anyways) is thank you so much for the validation that I am different, not less.
😊
You just explained exactly how #2 feels like from the inside better than anyone ever. Thank you 👏
I don't think I'm autistic (although I suspect this is in truth a sliding scale we may all be on) but I do resonate to some extent with many of the points you refer to. My son, perhaps, more so. What I particularly liked about your video was the simple and practical way you explained your way of recognising this condition and the best bit was the advice to go out and spend time with others already diagnosed. The lack of concessions to the UA-cam algorithms was also wonderful. Thanks!
Iv been Diognosed over 2 years now and still love these videos , find them so validating and help to make others aware what ASD is
Very helpful. I've been wondering about someone in my life and this fit very well. I also like the parallels with ADHD. I have ADHD, and when asked to pick a random "whatever" I deliberately look for the obscure choice, partly for the intrigue it adds to the conversation and partly to disrupt whatever preconceptions they might have (like when magicians try to use the "blue" or "carrot" assumption to their advantage.)
Paul, your videos have been really helpful, thank you so much.
Also, yes, you need that 8th category...
Great video. Helps to check off some boxes. Just a little constructive criticism that you can feel free to ignore: the stock images and videos that pop in can feel very distracting and almost change the mood. I would much rather watch your face and facial expressions as you explain things than have my focus be interrupted by the stock images. However, the on-screen text and on-screen images are super helpful for focusing on what you're saying. That's all. Thank you again for your amazing videos and hard work in creating and editing them. I really appreciate your channel.
I'm 49, and I've just given up on trying to get a diagnosis and just declare myself autistic nowadays.
I've suffered my whole life for feeling so different and for being seen as weird without knowing the reason why, so when I started to read into autism (already in my 40s) and everything started to connect, I looked for ways to get diagnosed. But where I live it's very hard to find good doctors who specialize in that area, and I got nowhere fast. It doesn't help that I spent almost 40 years unconsciously learning how to mask to try and blend in, and got pretty good at it. Also, my main "spike" skill is in linguistics, so my mask is even stronger and more involuntary.
So, I finally decided I don't have the time, energy or patience to keep chasing a diagnosis, and the very few people I tell about my autism usually accept it at face value anyway, because it makes a lot of sense to them as well (have I mentioned how I've been seen as weird for all my life? Yeah). So, yeah, I'm autistic, undiagnosed, and I'll just enjoy the rest of my life like that, thank you very much.
You dont need a diagnosis to be valid. I'm happy you finally found answers after struggling for so long. ❤
Thanks for sharing. I’m a similar age and life experience, so I feel like I know how you feel. Growing up there was another layer of confusion for me because my parents made me skip a grade, because they thought I was too smart and bored where I was. So I ended up being much younger than my classmates (I have a summer birthday, so I was already on the young end), which made social life even harder. Also, I don’t think I was as exceptionally bright as they thought; I think I had a little burst and then slowed down to be more on a level with my peers, which I have recently read can happen when kids are five or six. Learning to read “early” does not make you a genius; reading and writing are still my strongest skills. Anyway, best of luck to you. It is a long road to find peace with oneself.
Honestly, you just get discriminated against anyway. Also, some countries won’t let you move there. Worldwide discrimination basically.
same here !!!
Fight on you guys!
I'm retired now and it wasn't til my offspring reached adulthood and the penny dropped - we all have our own unique versions but the common theme. Think l was so wrapped up in masking myself (l have AuDHD) l missed spotting my own family. Pieces of paper may be useful and validating for some individuals - for others just understanding why you've always found everything so difficult, is more than enough. I've always FELT weird... now l know WHY.
I was diagnosed with autism as a child.
You never grow out of being autistic.
Alit of people don’t know that I am autistic unless I tell them.
I can tell if others have autism though.
Last month, I meet a mom who had her autistic son with her.
She was very nice and I talked with her son.
She asked ‘ Why are you being so kind to him? ‘ than I answered ‘ because he is like me, we both have autism. ‘ and she was stunned that I knew he had autism.
Thank you for a nice collection of sound bites on autism traits. Number 2 was my biggest Ah ha, leading to self diagnosis. My diagnosed ADHD self craves variety, but my autistic self needs to know where to park at work! When they did changes at work, and kept asking me to park somewhere else at random, it made me not want to go to work at all. I'd arrive at the gate and freeze. Once I saw this as an autistic trait, I had a cascade of recognition of all the ways myself and others kept me in constant stress.
Did you skipped mania on the emotional regulation portion? Wouldn't being overly emotionally engaged be a trait? When I am highly engage, I am about 5 years old. I am physically expressive, loud, and enthusiastic, making most adults cringe. I spend a lot of time negotiating with that 5 year old so she can tolerate me adulting. I also melt down regularly, especially after social interactions or changes in my routines. I hit on all 7 and number 8 too. I was extremely bullied in school, and ostracized in working environments my whole life. Something about me screams, DIFFERENT.
I have watched at least a few of your videos. I seem to exhibit most of the traits listed here. In 4th grade, my teacher had me see the school psychologist. He said I was just different. This was about 1982. Its not about a label, but to understand how my mind works. And it is teaching me to be patient, and not blurt out a question when my husband is telling me a story. I also see how my siblings exhibit many of these symptoms as well. Thank you for what you do!
I was in primary school in the 1970s, when no one had a clue. Grades four through six were awful. I was very good at academics, terrible at sports, and had poor social skills. Bullied by peers and teachers. In high school in a different state, I was identified as gifted.
I was bullied as well. Similar to you, but academically I only excelled in areas of interest, especially math. I was almost always the last one chosen for a team in gym class.
Hold up... I never knew withdrawal is in the same category as meltdowns and might even "replace" them in a sense.
I am self-diagnosed, and the one reason I still have impostor syndrome about it is how rarely I have meltdowns, or how much I can control myself to not have them in public. If I'm alone, I would let myself "overreact" and scream or cry when little frustrations build up, but I can mask and hold back from doing that in public. But, I feel like I'm in a constant state of overwhelm or burnout from life, and my reponse is withdrawing and letting go of social interactions so I can save energy and keep doing the bare minimum of personal hygiene and commute and enough work to keep my job and minimal family obligations. But I never, ever have the energy to keep in contact with friends or old acquaintances. I kind of thought of it as a sign of burnout, but never saw it as similar to meltdowns. Now I feel like I was enlightened. Wonder if the diagnostic criteria are updated with this though, if my presentation could be professionally recognized.
This one hits home big time. I’ve had a very traumatic year so I nearly shut down at work & have been placed in medical leave. I can mask being happy & sympathetic and look like a regular person, but negative emotions are hard for me to show in a normal way. When I get angry, it’s ballistic; when I’m sad, it’s a total shutdown. I also have all the other traits you talk about as well. I’ve never been formally diagnosed but I’ll be seeing a psychiatrist in the coming weeks so I’m sure to get one at that time. Thank you for this video. I’d love to show it to my coworkers. My family & close friends already know this about me & still love me, 😂
I have realised now for the last 5 years , that i am Autistic as well as having ADHD. This came with the EMTS (?) Therapy for trauma and CPTSD. I was diagnosed with Bipolar when i was in my 20's then told , no it was trauma , in my 30's. The therapy i finally had when i was 50 / 51 cleared up the trauma and after doing the healing , i was still left , with the , explanations you have outlined here. Also discovered the things i get really overwhelmed with ( technology) and a whole lot of new talents, that i really enjoy. I have spent the last 4 years , mostly in my own company. I am very empathic aswell , so i am a real mixed bag. But i am these days, completely accepting of that and this has brought me alot of internal peace and stability.
Unfortunately ppl in my “world” don’t understand my behavior luckily due to these vids i understand
thank you, Paul. your videos have helped me with a lot of insight
7:20 That's what he said!!!
I also sometimes use my left hand instead of my right hand to make it more fun & interesting to me.😊
I often used to write with my right hand (I am a leftie) in school because I was so bored. I did it in a French exam once and got into trouble for cheating cos the teacher thought someone else wrote my answers haha.
Thanks for getting to the point from the start.
I’m not diagnosed by a professional, and have been corroborating my self-discovery through the past few years through a lot of reading articles and books and watching videos from autistic creators. Every time I start to doubt myself and my internal struggles and external behaviors to disclose myself as autistic in my daily life, somehow another video gets uploaded, which consistently include yours, and it always re-affirms my gut feeling that yeah, I am a bit different and this is why.
Maybe at some point I’ll stop needing external validation but I think second-guessing my experience as real comes with the territory. 😂 throughout it all, thanks Paul for being you and creating this content and helping me find a space where I can build my own trust in my intuition and confidently say “oh yeah, I relate to that”.
Yeah I am the same. I actually have started asking people if they think I am over the past couple of years but get varying inconclusive answers from why does it even matter to everyone is on the spectrum on some form or other lol.
Thank you for another great listen with lots of recognition!!
I was quite troubled the other day when I saw several reports on "how to cure autism" ("autism was not around 100 years ago and is caused by ....") I don't remember if it was lack of magnesium, too little vitamins, high environmental impact or something else but it was saddening to see people still thinking it is something that needs to be cured and that means people on the spectrum have deficiencies - instead of brains wired differently.
The irony is that many of the greatest and most creative achievements in human history were made by autistic people precisely because we think differently. Without that we probably wouldn't have a computerized global communications network on which to post such opinions. Heck, we probably wouldn't have invented invented fire, stone tools, or bows and arrows.
Very interesting. Thank you for this. A lot of these points seem to apply to me, but with the caveat 'more so when I was a child or teenager' which seems to imply coping mechanisms set in for me. I was not an easy child, for sure - interestingly, I was also apparently a late speaker. But I do recognise each of these 7 indicators in myself of undiagnosed autism, albeit it fairly mild ways.
As mentioned at the end, experience breeds understanding. When I worked with autistic children in the school system for a decade before I retired, I took training courses which made me understand things more, not least in myself - but also in some of the more 'individual' adults I know or knew, and it does explain a lot. One friend especially, who led to my decision to work in this field. Finally I would just like to say I've never really seen my mild autistic traits as a problem or disability in myself - more a set of individual and unique differences, which I see more as generally positive and define who I am.
My son exhibited just about everything you have talked about here. We brought this up to several family doctors, but all said that he was fine. He did have older friends, and he was supremely funny, and so very intelligent. But, in the end he became overwhelmed with anxiousness and self doubt. It ended when he died by suicide a year ago.
I’m so sorry to hear that friend. It sounds like you raised a good person.
very sorry im sure he was a good person
I know I need this information. Please keep up the good work.
Regarding #2, I've always been both very good at sports and other activities requiring physical skill, and unbelievable clumsy. I'll think about what you said, but I'll add that for me, not being "in the moment" is a major contributor to clumsiness. I may see the obstacle in the garage, but I'm too focused on my current daydream to avoid it. Captain Oblivious! I always pay more attention to the movie playing in my head than to what I'm doing.
OTOH, I've also been diagnosed as ADHD, so maybe that is playing a bigger role in this case.
I love videos like this. Do I think I'm undiagnosed Autistic? IDK, but maybe I am on the spectrum? I resonate so much with many characteristics I've learned about in videos like this, and it just makes me more comfortable with myself and helps me find my memories/ thought processes less worrisome. I think that getting information out there about how neurodivergents think, feel, and process differently is so important, as neurotypicals may find things they can relate too as well.
13:26 - I laughed out loud... that's so real! (Recently diagnosed, and finding it fascinating to think about what signs folks might have detected earlier, had they been looking...)
The last part about meeting other autistics really speaks to me. I recently started going to a local speaking group for autistics and it really showed me how autistic I am, if I can say so 😅 Everyone is still completely different but at the same time it's nothing like spending time with neurotypicals. It helped me realize so how much about myself. Finding community is awesome ❤
I wish I could find community in person like I can online.
So basically, you utterly identity with nothing but a false diagnosis and compete with others with this designer label diagnosis to present as more autistic than them? Time to grow up.
@@kelli8923 Try going to a gaming convention. I suspect about 2/3 of the people I meet there are autistic.
Love the clarity. You are probably the closest thinker to myself that I have ever heard. Every one of these I have mentally identically to yourself but the need for order and hypersensitivity ones that you articulate here are the polar opposites of myself. I cannot structure at all any more having always found it super stressful and my senses are pretty non existent. I had been in denial to others of my autistic traits for decades even though my training as a teacher and earlier failed years as a medical student back in the 1980's had absolutely convinced me that I had Asperger's as defined at that point. I went out of my way to avoid any diagnosis or acceptance of it. I focussed instead on physical symptoms as root of my ill health. I developed hemiplegia in migraines and then permanently and was eventually diagnosed as being functionally neuropathic. I have daily migraines, tremors and absences and was eventually dismissed as being uninsurable working as a teacher due to my ill health. This itself led to a massive disintegration in my mental and physical health. Finally at the age of 60 I have admitted my autistic nature to others and am currently on a waiting list to be diagnosed formally. I tend to score around 37 -40 out of 50 on trait scores. I used to assess pupils on this when working in Learning Support and only really severely autistic pupils ever scored higher than myself.
Taping naps at parties is such a good idea. I don't party, but I will definitely remember this if I ever get invited to one :o
😂
My son disappeared from his own chuck e cheese 9th birthday party. I figured he was playing and too excited to hang out with mom. When the party was almost over, he walked up to me with marks on his face. He had fallen asleep sitting in a toilet stall. The marks were from the seams of his jeans. He had sat down and fallen asleep with his head on his lap, between his legs. He had gotten over stimulated and went to the stall to be alone, I guess. He didn't seem upset that he missed a lot of the party.
I sometimes took naps at parties. I was unresponsive to my name or tickling etc but could hear everything. Can be very amusing what you hear when others think you can’t hear them.
I'm an AuDHDer; Bipolar/mood and anxiety disorder; OCD and C-PTSD. All of what you said is me 100%
You are an eternal soul having a conditioned material experience. 🙏🏼😌
So what, we are here now. Supposedly jesus heals these things. I'm not sure how and if it's true
Thank you, this is so informative. Ah how heavenly it must be at those gatherings!
As always 🙏🏿Thank you for this video and I think the category of amusing ourselves in ways that aren't likely to others is a GREAT topic😊