In my 68 years I have NEVER met anyone who even faintly resembles me in any way whatsoever. But I have been relentlessly bullied, harassed, humiliated, ridiculed, crapped on and basically treated like garbage so I guess that makes up for it.
Of course I understand technically the concept of lying and can do it in a mechanistic but not convincing way. What I have never been able to do is the kind of in between thing of "bigging up" or "bluffing" in for example a job interview, making it seem I had more responsibility for something than I actually did. Neurotypicals seem to be able to magically take a kernel of truth and make it into something much more, but equally magically know just how far they can go while still seeming convincing.
Nothing wrong with that. At the age of sixty, I finally came to the conclusion that people are just not worth the effort. Wish I had known that when I was young. It would have made my life so much easier.
I host the gatherings and we do them at parks so we can all go home after a few hours of fun. Color wars are a great way to get all the loved ones together without social awkwardness because we are busy throwing paint at each other's faces.
Yes and they are also very boring. I am reducing my social interactions for 40% this year compared to previous year. So draining and not much inspiring, interesting or mentally stimulating. My problem is that I say yes to people I care about and that often means going places with them, and doing things I don't wanna do. Now radically reducing doing this and also reducing amount of communication with too many people.
I believe I have both autistic and ADHD traits and I'm so glad I finally realized this. I always knew I was "different". Hate small talk, talking on the phone, am super sensitive/empathetic, need solitude, hyperfocus on my crochet or painting (being creative makes me feel alive!)...and on, and on, and on. Thank you for these videos. Feels good to relate to others who share these characteristics :)
This sounds a lot like me. How do you go getting things from the shops? Face to face, we codes, email, apps? I prefer email or phone. Although sometimes I need it written down, pen and paper can work. Talking can at times be hard to process. I like time doing pet care, drawing, writing pen and paper. Creative projects give my brain a rest yet is when I feel alive.
You sound just like me, I wish we could be friends. Just to have someone to sit next to in silence doing a hobby would be nice without the pressure of needing to be “on” socially
@jessiedxo oh yeah, I would love that, to have someone to sit next to and do a hobby without needing to talk. Even if it's make up application, sewing, getting my hands in paint. Would love to be your friend. Wishing you an amazing day! ❤❤
"One of the reasons I need stability and routine and secutrity is because I _am_ so flexible." Wow that makes a lot of sense. I really do need routine but I also feel quite malleable and open, and I couldn't reconcile the two.
@@NiaLaLa_V I have ADHD. It is both a curse and a superpower. I can build things and do non repetitive tasks like a super hero... if it requires organization and repetition, then I am doomed.
The unusual associations one hits hard, sometimes the connection/reference will genuinely be the funniest thing in the world to me, but the joke falls completely flat for others lol
Same here. Usually I'm the only one in a group that finds something very funny (especially if I came up with it), while I almost never find funny jokes or general things that are funny to everyone else in that same group. Regarding general topics for conversation, I am bored to death with 95% of things that people around me discuss or wanna talk about. Which is especially annoying when I'm at work and can't escape them. I'd rather be in silence that talk for the sake of it or discuss uninteresting things.
As someone who suffers with extreme severe anxiety I can totally relate to her. I would stop eating for days at a time as a punishment. I worry a lot about my life, everyone around me and pleasing everyone. It's absolutely crippling, so glad she got the help she needed, lovely young lady it's so sad that society has 1 in 3 people suffering mental health issues. I hope everyone seeks help
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about how mushrooms and psychedelics treats anxiety, but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, doctor Greg mushroom I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
#9, the quiet dude in a lobby somewhere that just bursts out laughing for no obvious reason. That's me. My brain is a constant source of amusement, and there will be times that I run scenarios that just happen to make me laugh out loud.
Me too!! I try to mask it the best that I can but it slips out with me too. And when I'm alone it happens a lot. I had a very close very autistic long time friend who did that all the time too. He'd explain immediately after. And I don't think he masked anything at all.
I know that my unmasking is working because I’m finally doing that again- as a kid it was my normal but I got culturally ABA’d out of it. I’m also caring far, far less about how OTHERS think something should look, be done, behave like, blah blah blah- their culture sucks so why should I care? My life gets better the less I care about NT culture. 😊
When I used to go to movie theaters (before the plague), commonly I'd burst out laughing at a scene - but I'd be the only one laughing in the audience. Yes, different.
I was just diagnosed with autism and it’s changing my life for the better, my schools, psychologists and primary doctors refused to even entertain that I could be autistic and/or adhd just based on me being “social” (masking) and being a girl. Here I am almost 15 years later with my diagnosis, thank you for posting :))
I am going through the same frustration right now with my new counselor; I don't understand why doctors and therapists don't want to even consider the possibility. I mean, isn't a good medical practitioner supposed to be open-minded to all possibilities, without a bias? I was trying to avoid the idea that I might have autism for YEARS, because I didn't understand what it was, and people only think about the really obvious stereotypes (of spinning and twirling in public, making loud noises, and having meltdowns in the middle of the store). And people talk about autistic people as if they aren't very smart (except for maybe with their special interest); but I know very well that our brains are constantly coming up with ideas, and we can be pretty logical (especially with our literal style of thinking). At least my counselor told me that he can pick up on something like autism (he referred to Asperger's as if wasn't the same as autism; to maybe indicate that I have faulty thinking or something? I don't know). I was using the term Asperger's when I first discovered the world of autism almost 3 years ago, and then I learned that people weren't using the term anymore, and so I wanted to be more adequate in trying to use the word "autism" instead. It's a tough slope to climb, I will agree with that for sure!
Being an afab or person that’s perceived as that sucks when you’re Autistic, everyone knew I was a weirdo, every teacher, every doctor, every friends parent saw me as different or pitied me (I also grew up with lots of traumatic stuff so that did it too) But everyone knows, no one advocates for you or tries to speak up when professionals don’t do their job and ignore you! What you said about being afraid of the autism diagnosis is SO REAL, the first time I was ever made aware of the possibility of being autistic is my mom saying, in a seemingly “insulting” way “oh my god, are you autistic?” (My brother is diagnosed with autism) I was super scared of that being true and pushed it wayyy down, this was like 5-6 years ago. October of 2022 I finally figured out that it indeed wasn’t the first diagnosis (bpd) it’s autism and adhd. It’s crazy how a few stupid kids (me included, honestly) have used or continue to use “autistic” as a slur and how that LITERALLY is a direct cause of at least hundreds of autistic people too scared to face their condition, or too scared to be open about it. I mean the main “fundraiser for autism” is AUTISM SPEAKS. enough said.
@@briellerl034 Yeah, it's definitely frustrating for me to discovery autism as an adult, but the people closest to me don't want to think that I am autistic. They just want me to keep going to doctors and counselors to try and figure out what ELSE it could possibly be (they seem like they want it to be ANYTHING but autism). They believed me when I told them that I had social anxiety, depression, OCD, ADHD, Emotional PTSD, and sensory issues though; but all of that couldn't possibly be autism though 🤦♀️). They figure that there must be some other disorder to add to the list, instead of just acknowledging that those are autistic traits (and I have many more). Just because I am not doing the stereotypical things (like making loud noises in public, spinning, and being completely mute), doesn't mean that I don't have the other 30+ traits. I did a lot of spinning in the living room as a kid, and outside though. I didn't do it public, and if I think back, I DO make vocal sounds when in distress or stressed, but not loud (and not like in the middle of a mall or something). We can only hope that doctors and counselors get more educated, and not be afraid to at least assess people for it. If a person happens to get a counselor who had been practicing therapy for 20 years, chances are they hardly touched the subject of autism during college and university. I have a minor in psychology and I think that it might have been briefly mentioned once out of the 15 psychology courses that I took. I think that I remember reading 2 paragraphs in a text book one year out of my 4 years as psychology student.
I got mine at 70. I could have gotten help in the 3rd grade. But my stepdad prohibited me being tested threatening to have me shot or sent away to juvenile prison to stop my mom or I from getting help.
6/17/2024 Hi I'm Elizabeth 48 years old and I love being alone because no One understands my feelings, People and family are to judgemental and I can't deal with injustice acts... I can't stand loud noises or people Arguing.. I'm so grateful because being A spiritual person helps me struggle less...🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌 Houston Texas 🙌
Struggle less and understand more. I have to say, you have tapped in to a key element. Faith. That is everything. Ask God for what you want and it will arrive, but build that faith to an unshakable level. That has been the absolute key to my enormous successes later in life. You can even overcome the "limits" autism puts on you, or to find a way around them to accomplish anything you ever wanted in life. It took me 54 years to get it. Now 60, I sit here completely astonished at what I have achieved in the past 6 years, and all of the totally insanely awesome things that have happened. Against all odds. And these were some serious odds. God Bless You.
You are not alone with this. My best friend's and my feelings are so similar to what you discribe. Evaluation and judgement feel so wrong and cause All problems I see in the world. If wars, argues, divorce or even murder. And even murder for someone's money or things is what follows a judgement of what is fair or not. Without having a closer look onto other's perspective. I hope you know what I mean. So this is why I feel so helpless and sad about judgemental people. And this is why those who come really close into my heart have fur or feathers.
As someone who is (self-diagnosed) on the Autism Spectrum, I developed a bunch of "Routines" to deal with people. All are well rehearsed and practiced. Many involve quite the comedy routine that Neurotypical people overwhelmingly enjoy. This has made it VERY easy for me to interact with waitstaff at restaurants. On the other hand, if things don't work out the way I "Planned" for them to, as can frequently happen with computers (including the badly misnamed "Smart" phones), I wig out. This has left me with quite the phobia about working with anything computerized, save in the simplest of manners (such as watching UA-cam videos and some emailing). I have yet to work one of those QR things and have had enough problems with attempts that I'm no longer willing to even try with them.
If they use QR code menus, they had better have free WiFi that is super easy to access. You walk up, thinking about getting something to eat. Pull out your phone, spend too long trying to get onto the wifi, especially with all the marketing questionnaires, well, I will give up and go elsewhere ( Oh well, KFC is just 5 minutes away ). You have lost a customer for ever.
Down with being forced into one single path to resolve a question. How hard is it really to have the menu written up on the wall as well as offering the QR code for those who prefer it? Or to offer a staffed checkout as well as the self-checkout option?
I’m 67. Undiagnosed by a professional. All of this really hits home with me. Mom PCP thinks I just have social anxiety- which I do…… because of my autism?
So painful to hear #7. Suffered my whole life as “different“. Very lonely. Own family holding me at arm’s length. Luckily intelligence came with it - could think out of the box - was very needed in corporate setting - had a great career but no lasting relationships. Outcomes not so great.
Yeah I ll admit you can’t ever see the positive in this one. I have dreams about being on the outside of a house while everyone is indoors having hot drinks and wine and talking. I know I’ll never be in there and stay in there with them…. Even when I’m accepted , I’m not the one whose birthday people celebrate, or the first they think to invite-unless they have no one else. Or they may think my family is wealthy or something to gain from me or pity. There is no changing this. Eventually you just realize it. COVID was great because everyone was reduced to almost the aame
@@visionvixxen I have definitely been there. Am kinda there right now. But I will say there are ways around it. Finding the right group of people really has helped me at certain points in my life. In high school I volunteered at an aquarium with a bunch of quirky, interesting people (many of whom I realized later were probably neurodivergent). I got even luckier at undergrad, attending an honors college which was basically built for neurodivergent people without explicitly saying it (once again only realized after I got my own diagnosis). So finding groups of other neurodivergents- especially autistic people- can be really incredible. That said, it is easier said than done. Im working on building a new community in a new place, and its taken almost 3 years and an autism diagnosis to really even start to feel the semblance of these connections. But its definitely worth it, and definitely possible. I wish you the best in trying to find it!
Boomerang, I have no idea why I feel the need to reply to your post?... For whatever reason, it resonates with me. I have not been diagnosed with Autism, and maybe that's why life has been so hard for me?... I am the outsider; the one who feels awkward all the time in public. I always feel like the dumbest person in the room. I don't pick up on social cues. I don't make friends. I have no relationship with 99% of my family. I don't get invited to social functions. When I want to do something, I usually have to do it alone. I have failed, for a multitude of reasons, at every job I had. It is so wonderful that you were successful in your career!! Good luck to you! 🤗
I finally got diagnosed last year, I'm over 50. It was honestly a weight off my shoulders. I finally had a hard answer on why I've had a terrible time at workplaces, having had over 60 jobs. I hit all 7 of these spot on.
I was diagnosed 3 months after my 50th birthday, by (oddly enough) another autistic person. I have found that we can spot each other. I also got fired a lot, and I also have those "oh that's why" moments regularly. But I CANNOT let go of how angry I am that the system failed me so badly. How angry I am that I could have avoided all the situations in my life (like not feeling anything when my sons were born) that would cause an autistic person distress. I could have not made life so difficult for my wife a few times a week. I could have real relationships. I could have friends, which I have never had. (I had people I hung around with but they called me things like "socially retarded". They were not my friends. I have never had a real friend. I could have AVOIDED that if people WOULD HAVE OPENED THEIR DAMN EYES.
I don't avoid social gatherings because of not being able to fit in... I just find people incredibly uninteresting to the point that I have much more fun on my own.
LOL!!! Yes, that IS a valid 8th category. I LOVE amusing myself. Sometimes ill be messing around with my wife or son, and I'll be making myself laugh hard (I often do), and one of them will let me know that they absolutely don't see the humor. I'll laugh even harder and say, "I know! That one was for me!"
I’m not sure if anyone else feels the same, but I just wanted to say how grateful I am for your videos. I used to be really ashamed of the face that I was on the spectrum, and these videos have helped me not only accepting my autism, but also helping me be proud of it.
I appreciate these videos, too. And I think I like the comments section just as much. It has allowed me to see that there are so many other people out there who are similar to me. I can converse with them from the safety, privacy, and comfort of my own home. And I can feel more free to learn about what autism is really like through autistic people's eyes, including Paul's. And you know what I've found? I like the people I find here. I like the thoughts they share. And I like the trates that I have found that a lot of us have in common. To me, neurodivergence isn't actually the split away from the norm. To me, the characteristics that are labled as neurodivergent are actually the way humans originally were. Our trates are what seem to make the most sense to survive and even thrive in a natural setting within a tribe. To me what's considered neurotypical now is actually what diverged from what humans once were. They've lost all of the trates that would have helped them to survive. Instead the bulk of humanity has developed one particular skill to an extreme. And that's the ability to blend with a very large group of people in what has become a crazy enormous population. I could go on and on about that. But I'm actually really glad to have many of the beautiful qualities that are labled as neurodivergent today. I hope those thoughts of mine help you, and hopefully others, to feel a little less odd and a little more beautiful for who you/they/we are.
@@anyascelticcreations You wrote «...the way humans originally were. » I find this VERY interesting! It's kinda hard to certify this is right about our ancestors, but it's very tempting to believe it! That means WE would now be the retardeds of evolution!!! (JOKE) More realistically and positively, it means too that we are the ones who remained awake! No?
@@armandrioux3660 Yep, pretty much impossible to certify that our ancestors were what is now called neurodivergent. But it sure makes sense that it would be true. I've commented many times about it on this channel and have had many wonderful conversations as a result. You're welcome to look them up if you'd like to read what I and other people had to say about it. If I wasn't in a post mini-meltdown state and utterly exhausted right now I'd probably say a lot more because it's a subject I'm very interested in. But briefly, I guess one could say that we've remained awake, like you said. That's probably a nicer way to say it than how I look at it. Lol. I think of the bulk of the human population as devolving. Or at the very least evolving very far away from what I believe were our roots. And in many ways, I think that humanity in general has lost a lot of very good traits in the process. I think of those of us who are now called divergent to be at least somewhat close to what was actually diverged from. Someday I'd like to start a chat or something about that somewhere. If I knew how. Lol.
I don't know if I'm on the spectrum , but I was DX with ADHD late in life. ( 97th percentile on the tests LOL) There are def. pros and cons to being neurodivergent, but shame is not an option. Frankly I'm proud of how well I've done in life unmedicated. Now I know why it was so hard. I'm also happy with being different and creative. I find ' normal ' people a bit boring.
While I quite agree that being "proud" of your autism is a wholesome attitude, isn't that contrary to the professional perspective which considers it a disorder?
Why am I crying? I resonated with everything you said. I don’t feel so strange anymore. Thank you for helping me understand more about myself. I’m new to your channel, I’m glad I found your channel
because seeing 1 in a billion people that actually understand your inner workings is heartbreaking. esp after you been heartbroken so many times by billions that dont understand nor respect anything, but conformity.
@@MalhaIIa Its not 1 in a billion. At least 1 in 50 people are autistic in the United States. Which correlates with an estimated 5.4 million autistic Americans.
Accepting your autism is the greatest freedom. Accept that you will not fit in so that you can stop trying so hard. Enjoy being your wonderful self. You don’t need the world’s approval. Approve of yourself 😊😊😊😊🙏
@@anab8412 I agree with that. One needs to fit in with others in order to succeed at a job and to have friends. People should not accept their autism because it can lead to failure in life and loneliness. They need to work to change and be more like the other people around them.
I've never been tested, and don't really care one way or the other if I'm on the spectrum or not. I've always been a little different. In my youth, it was a liability that I tried to cover up. Now that I'm a senior, being different is definitely an asset. I've learned to accept myself as I am, be the best me that I can be, and just let the chips fall where they may as to whether others accept me or not.
I remember the day I went to a (free) KISS reunion show. My friend had free tickets and called to ask what I was going to wear. I said "Probably jeans and a T-shirt. I'm too old to care what teenagers think of me." So freeing!
Wise decision which is what I did when I was young despite questioning my abilities. However, I believe we "ALL" have pluses and minus and it is up to us not compare ourselves to others. Especially when there are those that want to put us in a category. Don't allow it and ignore those comments from those individuals. Believe me, it helps to feel good about ourselves with whatever abilities we have. Stay well and stay strong.
Thank you so much for all that you share! You are doing a great service to humanity. My ADHD diagnosis last year at age 40 led to the discovery that I am also autistic and have masked it reasonably well enough to fool everyone…especially myself. I just didn’t know much about autism and thus never suspected it. Every person’s story I read and every video I watch explaining the autistic experience is like hearing my own life story in granular detail. This has changed my life in profound ways! It’s been a grieving process, reframing my entire life story…but I’ve come around to accepting it and embracing it…I’m not broken, I’m not selfish, lazy, irresponsible, or crazy, as I had been led to believe…I’m AuDHD and that is ok. So blessed to be celebrated for the things I excel at! Thank you again, the validation has set me free! 🎉
@@reneelibby4885 I am beyond thankful that we have all been able to share our stories and support each other! I started school in the late 80s and there were no resources for people like me….I’m sure it goes without saying that it was the same for you; I assume you graduated around 83. All of these things are coming to light! Those of my generation and before have had to suffer through the “dark ages” of ADHD/autism awareness. Hopefully today’s children won’t have to go through this.
I work in a cat clinic and I'd say majority of our staff is neurodivergent. Even the owner/head doctor will on occasion say "cats are autistic" based on their behaviors. Makes the staffing choices really understandable lol
Thank you for the vote of catfidence. I've been called a crazy cat lady for having a lot of cats. They all even have names. Maybe it is the Autism that makes us get along so well.
There's a lot of sense in this. ND people have to bend their behavior to suit the people around them, and being unable to pick up on social cues through language, often have to learn body language. Most people do not know how to behave around cats. Instead of changing their behavior to suit the cat, they just frighten or anger it. They can't "read" the cat at all. But for someone ND, that's something they do all the time.
This makes a lot of sense to me. I have always been a cat person. I find most dogs really overstimulating (the way they get really excitable, the way they strongly vy for your attention, etc.) and I just find it difficult to understand their behavior. I love how cats are such a chill and calm presence. I feel like they get me, lol.
@@nanwilder2853 My own research never gave any hint of that. And I read Thinking in Pictures by Temple Grandin. But obviously I haven't researched everything on earth. But I don't think that Temple Grandin is an expert on ADHD. So even if she said it, that doesn't mean that I would believe it. It would depend on her sources.
I was 56 years old when I was diagnosed Autistic. I like being Autistic because I still love all of the things that I loved when I was a young boy. It was my daughter that helped me figure it out because of my fascination with all things trains. Today I am a retired Locomotive Engineer, and my basement (and the house) is wall to wall model trains. I was diagnosed Savant before I was diagnosed Autistic. Being Autistic is not so bad!!! Now I help the parents of Autistic children, and teach them that Autism is not "the big bad cookie monster" that they thought it was. Autism can be kind of fun!!!
@@invisibleink2644 If I could ask, where do you fall on the spectrum? I might be able to help you. Have you taken the evaluation that gives you a number? Anything that puts you over an 18 indicates that you are Autistic. I scored a 23 on my good days, and 29 on my bad days. A bad day is when I am struggling with physical pain. I also have Secondary Progressive MS, thanks to the water at Camp Lejeune. I was injured while I was in the Military. The VA has given me my P&T rating. That means that I am Permanently & Totally disabled. Life is still very, very good though!!! I am also an INFJ personality. There were a lot of Marines that just did not understand me. Back then I did not know that I am Autistic. I know that I can help you. When someone is trying to help you, and they are not Autistic, sometimes they can do more damage than good----I know that I can help you!!!
If you are a retired locomotive engineer you are not really autistic. Sorry but that is the truth. Stop diluting the water of those who are really autistic. Who can’t function or even live by the selves.
One of my biggest problems is social gatherings and situations. I always feel left out, not included in things. I feel extremely anxious and uncomfortable around people I don't know. I prefer to avoid them altogether and stay at home where I feel comfortable
Thank you so much. I have been married for 40 years. Just recently my husband who is still undiagnosed, and I determined he might be autistic. That would be the cause of all of our fights and arguments over the last 40 years. Since I currently assume that that is the case, I've been looking into how to better communicate with him and things have improved greatly. Every one of the things that you listed today hit the nail on the head! Thank you for helping me understand my husband even more.
I am in the same boat. We have been together 31 years and I have just recently realized my husband is autistic. He has told me numerous stories of how teachers used to scream at him in school. He said I don't know why but teachers all hated me. I barely graduated because school was so torturous for me. The odd thing is he is very smart, he just didn't know how to respond to them appropriately in the way the teachers expected. Sad.
As a wife of 30 years I know my husband better than anyone. He was often punished for misbehaving as a child. He would break things to see how they worked. As a toddler he would escape to his Aunts house. He had loving parents but this chaos did create issues. He has told me many times he can’t shut his brain off. Over the years he has grown more socially awkward. He just simply doesn’t want to deal with people. I now do many things alone or he takes a separate car so he can leave when he wants. He is extremely smart and can build anything by just looking at it. He has stomach issues. He has sleeping issues… the list goes on. I find myself interested in these YT channels like they have opened a door to what I have wondered about.
@@pianolessonsbyheatherthis was my experience with school as well. In turn this fueled my original hatred for education. My tune has changed of course, and I am all for higher education. However, not if you’re just getting a random degree. I was told by countless teachers that I’d never make it and that I was crazy. I kept pushing and didn’t listen to anyone, and achieved my dreams. In the end, I proved everyone including myself wrong. I’ve found a love for math and reading books that I’ve never had. I’m in my mid 20s and have quite a bit to learn still. I have 7 YoE as a software engineer, and it’s been a wild ride. I tell myself that if I fail, then I should learn from it, and if I fail enough, then I’ll succeed. I think of ASD as a gift and a curse. I didn’t figure this out until recently. Turns out there is an interesting anomaly of ASD + ADHD + High IQ that enabled me (and others with that combo) to fly under the radar.
With me, I am bad with both names and faces but pretty good at remembering specific things they mentioned they were interested in once. And also I'm really good at shape language and color theory when it comes to art, but not perspective or shading.
Same here. I struggle terribly with names, but will easily recall significant facts about someone, such as their birthday, where they went to school, how many children they have, and the like.
Also I go to a restaurant not just to eat but to have interaction with the staff. If it’s all impersonal with apps, what’s the point? I can do that at home and just pick it up.
This has definitely been one of the big ones for my husband and I. Now that I understand his autism better, I understand the situations and he spends less time isolating himself. One time after an argument he isolated and refused to speak to me for over a month. Not even a hello not even I love you, nothing. Not one word came out of his mouth when I was around. But that doesn't happen anymore now that I am beginning to understand.
I was waiting for a family member to finish a medical consultation for a long time this afternoon, and I started to think about Margot Robbie naming her daughter "Cradle", like all the other stupid names Hollywood people come up with. Then the vows would be "Do you take Cradle Robbie to be your lawfully wedded wife?" You know, because if you have a cradle robber, you also need to have a cradle robbee. Anyway, I thought this was hilarious and the dead time in the lobby flew by in a heartbeat.
I am here to check on me because I do have a daughter with Asperger which is part of the Autism Spectrum and my niece's daughter has autism which she refused to join a group of parents to help one another. I couldn't tell he anything since she is above learning from others. So I tried to help but my advice would not be considered.
The part about unusual associations hits pretty close at home; I can easily find obsure references and patterns between unrelated subjects and I have to explain them to people
As a teenager and young adult I wrote a lot of poetry. It is literally filled with unusual associations. I wasn’t doing it on purpose. It was just the way my brain worked. The more I matured and learned to function in the world, the more that part of my thinking disappeared. I don’t know if that’s a common experience or not.
Mostly doing this for myself, even though I've indeed been confirmed autistic twice now by professionals. 1) Social interactions = I find them draining, and I wish to avoid them over being "part of the crew" 2) Structured/Routines = I prefer doing things the "right" way, and think of systems constantly, then things fall apart spectacularly when routine is broken. My mind is always full of many competing thoughts, jostling around and competing with each other. Further, I used to daydream like a champ in my youth... in school. 3) Sensory issues = I noticed so much throughout life that I "felt" and/or perceived certain stimuli much more intensely than others. Also learned to "push through" pain in order to meet certain, odd, "goals" 4) Skill sets = I was a fairly good surfer in my late teens and into my early 20s... I could skate "OK", but could never master moves many others had down pat. Give me something that requires really good hand/eye coordination, matched with a time limit, and I suffer greatly... so video games I shun. Put any type of maths in front of me, up to, but not including calculus, though, and I "go to town", but if you make me write an essay on some social issue, I put it off indefinitely, bc yuck. I really dislike rereading what I have written, and especially do not like editing it. 5) Emotional regulations = I have been known to "snap" and lash out, or scream back, when pushed, or I throw fits, and that's gone on well into my adulthood. I also prefer to, and insist on hiding, when shit gets too much, even when the hiding is taken as a sign of weakness or avoidance by the "abuser"/by others. Some meltdowns happen over things deemed trivial by others. 6) Mental jumps = One of the reason I avoid conversation is just this. My mind goes "off the rails/switches tracks" while trying to follow what the other(s) is/are saying. 7) Different = Many People in my life have deemed me odd, off, quirky, dull, different, etc. on many, many occasions.
"Things fall apart spectacularly when routine is broken". Yes! Or even just plans. When my perfect plan for the night is broken because someone wants to get a burger or take an earlier train. Don't do this to me, wait, never mind, I'm going there on my own.
@@raipa111 Sports pain, and I suppose a lot of work pain... I know of many of my contemporaries who wouldn't "go as hard", or complain ad nauseam about the pain they're in. I stay mum
I related to almost everything you said. I am more used to social interactions than when I was a kid, but I still need time to get away and have a mental and sensory break from the event afterwards. I do tend to withdraw/shut down when I am pushed to the brink (or lash out), but I do not have mental jumps. I am definitely different; I will not win any popularity contests anytime soon-lol 😆.
I just got my late autism diagnosis on the 22nd of may 2024. Just 8 days ago. I'm 43 years old. I'm forever grateful for autistic youtubers like you. It means the world to me. Thank you. 🏆❤
Hi @@BlueSmokie. I'm in Europe. Here we have about four test forms to fill out at a licensed psychologist, and after that, we have to go to an autism center at the hospital, where you go through two separate tests along with two more test forms that you have to fill out as well. They are very thorough, and it's a long process. But it's definitely worth going through it, in my opinion. Getting an official diagnosis was really important for me. But offcores I understand if it's not important with an official one for everyone. You have to ask your doctor or a licensed psychologist, to get a referral to get diagnosed. Wishing you the best of luck, wherever you live.
@@lisbethchristensen1981 Thanks for the info! I'm self-diagnosed at 55... (it's interesting to have people I've known for a while saying "yep, it's obvious", while those who just met me say "nay, can't be!") So, I'm thinking about getting the relevant tests (I've only done the basic stuff you can find online - which says about 80% probable)
Already been medically/psychologically diagnosed with autism but I still feel drawn to videos like this where it just fortifies the diagnosis. You got everything to a t.
My good guy husband says " in school I alwayd perfered to look out the window. Daydreaming is necessary for creativity ". Of course report cards were never the high spot in the week !
i got called out for daydreaming during assembly once. my homeroom teacher said the entire faculty was talking about me. but i remember that day clearly, i was thinking why my teacher's voice sounds like it was from the window in the next building instead of from the speakers near the podium. of course they cant find the correlation between my behaviour and the high marks i got in science lol
I was the same. I always just remembered that the closer to the window you are, the more of a main character you are in anime logic, lol. I was always sad when it was real nice outside and I was stuck in air conditioned hell doing work I had no interest in. I also had undiagnosed learning disabilities in maths and reading...so school was a bitch.
Damn, science was my worst class always. I love science and studying how the world works, maybe they just made it too much about rote memorization and paperwork for it to work for me. :/@@izzatihassan1475
I work at a large company. I use Microsoft teams to start interest groups. I have basically started 5 interest groups around my interests. Each group has attracted many members. So I get to skip the small talk and enjoy my interests with others. It’s working out great!
I've always been the odd person out, even in my own family. So much so that I asked my parents if I was adopted because I felt I wasn't like anyone else. I make tangential connections that others can't see unless I take them through the long and winding road to that connection. I get overwhelmed by too much social interaction, trying to fit in and hold that mask up is just too hard, but I still like people just in a limited way. I tend to communicate differently, saying the wrong thing without even realizing I've done so. I'm taken aback when someone is offended or angered by something I've said, not realizing why they are reacting like that. I never intend to provoke others in those ways, but it just seems to be the case with me. Dealing with others can be exhausting. I have a lot of empathy, and if people are patient enough and explain why they came to feel the way they do about something I've said, I can see how it came to be that I hurt or provoked them in some way and am all to happy to explain what I actually meant and apologize. I can often can be pedantic - I just don't fit, except with very patient, tolerant folks. Evenings when I'm tired and hurting, it's easy for me to melt down with even small stressors. I like my routines because I know how to be inside those perimeters.
I have had the very same problem!!! I have learned to just NOT TALK to normal people. I just let my Autism go where it wants to take me, and that has NOT BEEN A MISTAKE. Trying to live in a normal world was almost impossible. I simply learned to quit talking to normal people. I learned to quit giving advice, because no one understood it. I stopped letting people give ME advice. Follow your Autism and let it take you where IT wants to take you. TRAINS HEAL AUTISM!!! Get on Google and type in "trains and autism". IT WILL BLOW YOU AWAY with what you find!!!
Identical in almost every way. If you wish to, please feel free to give examples. I've been told it's quite cathartic and has become something of a method for me to deal with my own problems.
I'm now old and leave behind a wasted life. My parents were told I was low functioning but they were to tight to do anything about it. But their real crime is not telling me and keeping me isolated. So I lived in a shed behind the house in the country. Then on the streets. Then in cars picking fruit and farm labouring for whatever wage I could be exploited for. There are 2 types of autism. Autism in the city where you have a chance of getting help. Autism in the right leaning rural vastness, where you make a good punching bag and target for abuse or are derided as a freak and a liability. and hide in shame. That is why I would like to thank you for helping people like me with things to watch and relate to. I get help now. People come and do things. Yes, Its 'paid' friendship, but I never even had that before. I live in an underground concrete room. Light, noise, and time cannot enter. It is lonely, but at least now it is a peaceful loneliness.
You dont have to be wasted, you can work with people like me. Plz rread this and consider it long and well: Im crazy and i can prove it: I use teh reportbutton of plattfo to hopefuly have a more healthy plattform one day. Crazy idea. Crazy. Everbody knows Inaction is King and has no negative assosiaction. But hey, what can i say, it just feels good to get a 20k N-zi-UA-camr removed, i speak from experience. But the craziest thing about all this is the rarity of it working. Oh, it absolutely can work, dont get me wrong, but its rare - but i legit came to believe that's for a lack of strength-in-numbers. Hence why i now spam this comment youre reading
So sad that you had to go through all this. People can be cruel to those of us who are different. Still I'd rather be different than mainstream and cruel. I hope things are looking up for you ❤
We don’t need to even try to meet other autistic people, we’ll naturally just find eachother throughout living our lives, at least that’s my experience. It’s nice to have friends that are ok with you being a little different:)
Been married for 50 years to Asperger'san diagnosed just 7yeats ago so,.. since I was naturally and quickly attracted does this mean I might be on Spectrum also??
It makes life sooooooooo impossible. To never have a group of friends that can read social cues or process empathy or understand true consequences of odd dysfunctional behaviors.
@@nataliaalfonso2662 No. Not obviously. I'm not attracted a lot too autistic people. I respect them and I like them if they are nice to me. But I don't have a real preference when it comes to neurotypical vs. neurodiverse people.
"If I can't tell where my body is in space..." That's exactly how I have described my experience to PTs, dance partners, and others over the years who have tried to help me become better coordinated. No one has ever understood or been able to relate.
Thanks for saying that! I was like, "how do I know if it's significantly different??" but your example helps me be like, "ah, yes, definitely." I have several specific scenarios gone awry to turn to haha.
What are "side effects" of childhood vaccines? Every medical substance/drug has intended And "unintentional" impact. This has not been studied or has it? Neurological impact is real; autism, ADHD and more...
@@sandyspears7347 It has many times at this point. There incident rates of autism are the same in vaccinated and unvaccinated children. There is no evidence of vaccines causing or contributing to autism.
My heart goes out to everyone who can't get diagnosis if they really find it important for some reason. I wish to give acceptance, belonging and safety to everyone in that way. Everything Paul mentioned applies to me, but I am already diagnosed. I find that most neuro-typicals around me can't remember dates, cook, or read a map, while I can do all that fairly better than them. People who don't know me well and other than work or while in the public, who don't know I have Autism usually label me as 'intense', 'eccentric', 'different', 'aloof', 'special', 'poker faced', 'rude', 'unapproachable', 'broken record', 'too literal', 'OCD", ''funny', 'with an attitude', 'with a male brain' (I am a woman), etc., and none of those are meant as compliments. Also, lots of name calling now when I am adult and especially when I was small. And people never miss to criticize my use of language (written and spoken). It is a bit different in my personal life, as people who know me like that can see my heart. Also I get 'mysterious' and 'very interesting' a lot, these are compliments. One thing that really bothers me is that they won't allow me to bring my cat to work.
Most Neurotypical can’t cook? I’m autistic and I find it very overwhelming, especially meals with more than 5 ingredients. I have to place everything on the counter and I get overwhelmed even when all the steps of the recipe is laid out.
@@taoist32 Most of neurotypicals around me, especially from work, not most of them in general and everywhere. I adore cooking & baking and am very good at it. My local library has a coffee place where you can buy food and coffee and all of their employees are Autistic, they cook amazing dishes, but are also fairy non verbal. Most of my friends with ADHD also say they can't cook as it is too overwhelming. The way how you described overwhelm and having to place everything on the counter describes how it is for me for lots of other things. And I do place everything on the counter when cooking and am very methodical and orderly in a way how I get it done. And my fridge is well organized and sorted out like a spreadsheet at all times.
Treating mental health disorders Studies have shown that mushrooms can be effective in reducing symptoms of depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Stay strong, stay free... your post had me in tears. My son is 60 soon.. and we all know he "is special".. his memory for Historical data is phenomenal.. he can go to page, quote etc without a second thought, when we ask him of events or info.... i watch this beautiful kind intelligent man struggle in all the ways "that Autism is described. Relationships well deserved promotions , passed over, etc etc . How can i help him , i dont have a clue... but i will share this podcast info, if possible thank you for sharing.
He’s almost 60. You’re not supposed to be helping him anymore. He’s supposed to be taking care of you. You’re also supposed to already know he didn’t deserve those promotions over people who can function socially more easily, as data retention is not as necessary in work environments and people skills. You can “help him” by lauding his decision to not have kids.
@@nataliaalfonso2662 omg this was such a blunt but very much needed response. parents really do set their special kids up for failure by babying them. what will they do when the parents are gone? waste away alone in a house that the IRS will come take away anyways, that's what.
@@flyinggnocchi not as ugly as pretending severe developmental neurological issues are okay. If my parents thought my heart conditions were okay and cool to have, they’d have been put in jail, right? What is this bizarre trend of acting that something indicative of extreme epigenetic stress is okay?
I was diagnosed with autism as a child. You never grow out of being autistic. Alot of people don’t know that I am autistic unless I tell them. I can tell if others have autism though. Last month, I meet a mom who had her autistic son with her. She was very nice and I talked with her son. She asked ‘ Why are you being so kind to him? ‘ than I answered ‘ because he is like me, we both have autism. ‘ and she was stunned that I knew he had autism.
That is good that you are helping others and I like to help the elderly but due to my RA I can't walk as well and worried about falling but I am praying to get better so I can help the elderly. I did provide help at the school while my kids were at school and help the kindergarten and first grade and second grade too.
@@cdarkheart83 - I am fortunate, that my fingers I can type but there are times just putting clothes on is hard for me. I just typed a letter to someone that I am worried about not having enough money but to get help from having a child that is autism. I believe Social Security can help those. Please pass that along especially for those caretakers.
@@ilqar887 ask your doctor about getting an autism diagnosis test done. A lot of people who have autism have issues with loud noises, bright lights, and large crowds.
It took me 53 years to figure it out. I was told I was ADHD and Bipolar. Never quite ever able to fit in. I am very empathetic so I thought how could I be on the Spectrum. I bought into the whole “Rain Man “ stereotype that the media sells. I have always been puzzled at how no matter how nice or friendly I am there is always that person that literally hates my guts without any provocation. At work there are a few people that can’t stand me. I have learned how to not let it devastate me, but it still bugs me a bit. Most of the people that judge me on first sight are always people that I wouldn’t ever want anything to do with, but because they have rejected me I think I did something wrong.. It is crazy…
Now it makes me wonder.. I deal with the same issues. I'm very empathetic. But there are also people at work who cannot stand or hate me too. It's hurtful. I think I'm not bipolar/ADHD, but rather have some form of autism. My two friends who work in my company, who also happen to be autistic, I notice some similarities. I think I'm not full-autistic, but certainly on the spectrum. Thank you for your insight.
@@jennamorningstar9744 the most likely explanation is that they instinctively know that you are more intelligent and more genuine than they are. Fk them!
@@jennamorningstar9744usually it's psychopaths preying on "the weak", because they are extremely attuned at detecting our "schizoid body language and dsy dreaming eyes". And often times its normies misunderstanding our body language and thinking we are mocking them or trying to undermine them
Thank you for being the only Autism UA-camr who I can listen to and look at without feeling stressed by a chaos of colours and lack of script structure. I can watch your videos to the end!
One thing I really find helpful regarding emotional dysregulation is two things: First, to learn about and regulate my nervous system (this blew me away when I learned about how much it drives a lot of internal turmoil); Secondly, I got me a set of Emotional Regulation card deck originally created for people with BPD in DBT therapy (I don't have BPD, but find this tool so useful). I carry them with me and can go through them when feel overstimulated and nearing shutdown, which is especially unpleasant when it starts happening at work. These cards have 4 groups: Distress Tolerance Skills, Emotional Regulation Skills, Mindfulness Skills and Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills.
@@zaboomafooba I don't mind at all. I tried posting it here a few times so far, but for some reason it is not visible. The deck is called *The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Card Deck: 52 Practices to Balance Your Emotions Every Day* and it costs $25 (Canadian dollars).
I was severely traumatized years ago as a teenage, got diagnosed with BPD. Spent my whole life fighting BPD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES very sure of Dr.alishrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
100% agree I used to have Psychosis and paranoid thoughts like "people thinking about me talking about me etc. Very odd behavior after getting off Adderall from 7-16. Antidepressants at 18-29. 31 now. I took way to much, but took about 20g of Gold caps (Psilocybin containing mushroom) I analyzed my entire life. The emotions that came out helped me understand behavior etc more. Wont ever need to do it again because I'm happy and contempt forever, but I wish more people did this to alter their perception of reality. Would help with healing much trauma
Yes he's Dr.alishrooms.Shrooms to me is a natrual healer. I know a guy who has used mushrooms in the same way and they have really helped him. mah dudes have safe trips all.
When you said “think of a vegetable”, what immediately popped into my head was “chard.” Everything else resonated immensely. Much of my family is on the spectrum but my mother refused when i was a kid to get me tested, even though the doctors recommended it. I have someone I know who is a professional and has told me she suspects I am, but I can’t afford to pursue looking into a diagnosis, so I just fumble my way through coping mechanisms and learning to be easier on myself.
Omg so glad I’m not the only one, he said pick a RANDOM vegetable, not pick a vegetable!!!! Semantics, you can’t tap a neuro-divergent for a group answer and word it like that 😂😂😂
I'm 62. I manage to muddle along OK so I don't know if there's any point to getting an "official" diagnosis but so much of this hits home. I've found "my tribe" in the larp community where so many seem to have an autistic or ADHD diagnosis. Hanging out with my fellow nerds is just so much more relaxing and they all understand when I need to step out to "catch up with myself" for a bit.
I feel I am more of a nerd than anything else and there is nothing wrong with that. what do you mean by "larp community?" Please inform me. The last time I joined the quilter' club I was not part of anyone there - there were the military wives or those born in Montgomery, AL -and I was not in any group at all. When I was going with a group to Birmingham on a road trip - I was automatically ignored. I felt so bad because I was part of 3 people. I ate my meal and try to join the conversation but they only spoke to each other and excluded me. I am not a joiner nor do I enjoy being ignored. When I got back from that trip - I never again went back to this Quilter's Club which meant nothing to me ever. So I rather do things by myself then to cope with self-entitled indivdiuals who lack compassion or empathy for others.
Sally, may I suggest something - I am 77, I still work so I can pay my bills and trying to finished paying all bills due to my mother's family that leaned on me I keep records by keeping a booklet each day of what I do and what I must take care of things for that day, week and even months. You see that is a way to maintain things I must remind myself. Plus, I have my bank pay my bills on time. There are just a few things I pay for myself. However, I take tests on the internet about various subjects, and it keeps my mind alert. What I would suggest to you and many others to be careful if you are given meds for anxiety or depression because one of those pills can cause "dementia." I do what I must to help me out. After all, I'm not a young person anymore. but much older. I hope what I suggest helps a lot. Also, don't use Aluminum pots or cookware - it is said, "it caused dementia too.
Dealing with change is a problem/hurdle/challenge. Having to adapt to self service tills! Each store seems to have a different version. People look at you like you're an idiot because you are slow or don't know how it works. Being rushed along by a disassociated voice ordering you to do things, place the item in the area, replace the item etc! We weren't asked, 'how do you feel about having the rug pulled from under your feet in this situation?' For me it's a mixture of despair and anger. The stores never asked, and don't cater for us.
Yup, in the early days of computer tech, there were way more standards for interfaces. Now every GUI is different, I guess in the name of “innovation.” The programs I use at work often move the interface around for no reason when they update. But my brain works by remembered location and muscle memory, and rearranging things is hard on me.
I don’t think I’m on the spectrum but I feel the same about self service tills~ horrible things, they always go wrong for me and I have to call for and wait for help~ what’s the point? It wasn’t designed to benefit customers, it was simply to save money for the supermarkets. This infuriates me.
I despise the disembodied voice of the self check out tills. It keeps telling me not to place things in the bag without scanning them when I have done no such thing!
I know exactly what you mean. More particularly for me, I get bamboozled by the typical parking fee payment regime at airports. At the pay station, I might try to put my credit card into the wrong slot or hold it up to a button, mistaking it for a scanner. At the exit of the parking lot, It can take me a couple of minutes to figure out how to use my ticket to lift the bar to let me out. On the last occasion, the driver of the car following stepped out of his car to show me where to put my ticket. But consider this; I am not autistic and am a qualified mechanical engineering technician with a ton of experience diagnosing industrial control system problems. I have also done lots of computer stuff including CAD and CNC. Spiky Skillset rings a bell here. I am retired now, and face a new challenge; my smartphone. Ahh... that meeting everybody went to. I missed it!
I find one thing that helps me when I shutdown especially through a crisis - and that is to create. I create with my hands by drawing or sewing or even do crafts which I give away. It is a blessing to me when I had a miscarriage and read Genesis in the Bible that helped me feel I can create things so start sewing for my sister-in-law who was still pregnant while I was not. So it helped me feel good to create which is a big plus in my book. What I am trying to say do what you can do to comfort yourself as I did. It helped me a lot and I continue to create things for those I care about which I give away.
I am currently experiencing a withdrawal after a shutdown of a few days. I feel heard and seen right now. I also took 2 online tests (because why would I take only one), and it said that I show some traits/autistic traits slightly above the population average. I'm reading the comment section, and I can relate with suddenly bursting out laughing at what I was thinking, and I have a very active inner world. I have found my tribe.
A spiky skillset is very clear to me. I am constantly getting asked by others why I can’t do something well when I’m extremely skilled at something else.
Sounds like my dad, "How can you be sooo f***ing smart, yet have no common sense?" Took till age 42 to find the answer to that. It was like coming home.
The unusual associations is my bane. No one seems to understand me when I speak. Sometimes at work, they’ll listen, “disagree”, then go on a flowery, wordy path to make the same point I thought I made.
At age 69, I'm just now discovering that my ADHD diagnosis (at age 55) wasn't complete. I also resonate with most of the things mentioned here. I've also done the "Meltdown, Shutdown, Withdrawal" thing my entire life.
I feel like this was a custom video made just for me. This will be so helpful to send to family who don't understand what autism means. Thank you, great video.
It's so great to see another of your videos, it's been a while. One of your videos was the first one that sent me down the rabbit hole of realizing I'm maybe autistic
I was told at work that "the nail that stands up gets hammered down" I was told by my managers I could not comment in meetings. Told by my ex to be seen and not heard. Told by my family I was embarrassing and eventually just not invited to family gatherings. It's so difficult to be surrounded by so many people and yet be so alone. Just to survive, I learnt to mimic people behaviour back to them, but it was exhausting. I literally wrote bits of conversation down so I could use them in situations I could predict, so I could control myself, but this was a form of dishonesty and I felt like I was being bad. It took it's toll on my mental and physical health leading to breakdowns and inability to cope with anything. I lost my career, marriage and almost took my life. I finally got an adult diagnosis of autism, I found it hard to accept. I found it hard to accept myself, but getting it was the first step in accepting who I really am. The society I live in is accepting of most types of diversity (race, religion and sexuality) but I have found it still is unfriendly and accommodating of nurodivergent people. The medical profession is the worst for this in my experience. There are aliens in this world, I'm one of them. Lol
I thought this was much more useful than the typical "10 signs you might be autistic" videos I've seen. I really like the phrase "spiky skill set"! That really captures the idea, without the negative "obsession" connotation that so many other phrases have. Thanks for including withdrawal in with meltdowns and shutdowns. For most of my life (I'm about to turn 60), withdrawal has been my go-to response. In the last few years, shutdowns and meltdowns have started to become more common. I hadn't thought to group them together, but now that you mention it, it makes a lot of sense. Until this video, I would not have attributed my "unusual associations" or weird stream of consciousness segues with autism. I absolutely loved the "Connections" series with James Burke. He presented a series of things that superficially seemed unrelated, then tied them together.
Wow, regarding your third para...me too. I’m about to turn 63. I have always had a fearful avoidant disposition, and overactive fight or flight, but looking back on my life, a lot of my withdrawal was really just need for space. As healthy withdrawal got harder, I started melting down and shutting down more. Things have gotten really bad in recent years.
Thanks for posting something like this. I was late-diagnoseed (Age 50) and it was videos like this one that helped me gain the confidence I needed to talk to my doctor about it. Hopefully this helps a LOT of people!
Whilst I think I might be on the spectrum, as a former teacher I can tell you that it IS an explosion of autism spectrum 'disorders' that we are witnessing. This is from my FIRST HAND experience of observing child behaviour over the past thirty years.
I have watched at least a few of your videos. I seem to exhibit most of the traits listed here. In 4th grade, my teacher had me see the school psychologist. He said I was just different. This was about 1982. Its not about a label, but to understand how my mind works. And it is teaching me to be patient, and not blurt out a question when my husband is telling me a story. I also see how my siblings exhibit many of these symptoms as well. Thank you for what you do!
I was in primary school in the 1970s, when no one had a clue. Grades four through six were awful. I was very good at academics, terrible at sports, and had poor social skills. Bullied by peers and teachers. In high school in a different state, I was identified as gifted.
I was bullied as well. Similar to you, but academically I only excelled in areas of interest, especially math. I was almost always the last one chosen for a team in gym class.
Thank you! I’m am someone who’s found out late in life that I’m autistic and it explains so much! I haven’t been telling anyone though because I don’t think they’d understand. I think, like me, they think it’s like the stereotypes. I think the info you provide would help a lot for people to understand better and allow me to settle more into myself.
The last part about meeting other autistics really speaks to me. I recently started going to a local speaking group for autistics and it really showed me how autistic I am, if I can say so 😅 Everyone is still completely different but at the same time it's nothing like spending time with neurotypicals. It helped me realize so how much about myself. Finding community is awesome ❤
So basically, you utterly identity with nothing but a false diagnosis and compete with others with this designer label diagnosis to present as more autistic than them? Time to grow up.
I'm actually awaiting my diagnosis for Autism. All of those points resonated so strongly with me. I found this video highly insightful. Thank you good sir.
@@sirbughunter I don’t know how you managed to draw that conclusion from my comment but I am totally fine with people disliking a video on the internet. People have different opinions and they don’t have to agree with each other all the time. It happens. Hope this helps?
@@errrrrrr- The problem is that the algorithm will think the video is bad or something just because some people can't accept the raw truth. This is not about an opinion whether apples or oranges taste better. This is about hard truths which affect many autistic people, like me. So I am disgusted by people downvoting this. I just wanted to vent here. Your comment reminded me of venting about this, because you praised the video and the guy's voice :=P
Thank you for making these signs exquisitely easy to understand. Your examples helped tremendously. I have to laugh at the “different/differently” because i often entertain myself with nonsensical repetition. My BFF teaches at a school with many autistic children. She pegged me as “leaning autistic.” I also had to laugh when you talked about the new digital menu systems. I taught database internal logic to systems programmers but can’t even think about attempting that “restaurant” method! Another example in that same vein, i have no problem with complicated mathematical computations, yet panic if asked to split menu expenses. I’m sending this video to the rest of my family and to my BFF. Thank you for doing this. I’m looking forward to seeing your other videos. Serendipitously finding you, is a gift. I wish you continued success in your endeavors.
I don't know if I am autistic or have ADD or if it's all part of being INFP-T. I just wonder why I'm 54 years old and still can't function as a normal adult. Everything is difficult or scary and overwhelms me.
A lot of this just strikes me as introverted intuition, and whatever flavor it comes in. American culture is extroverted and sensory in an almost perverted way, to the point many extroverts mistake themselves for introverts. Real introverts are demonized as potential school-sh**ters, and parents and teachers will do unbelievably nasty things to force children to extrovert. This entire system so abusive that normal introverted intuitives end up traumatized, and they get some BS late diagnosis after a lifetime of abuse. Getting pathologized is still more acceptable than being considered introverted. It is legal to discriminate against introverts in America. You couldn't do that in, let's say, Finland, or in Australia.
I am learning just to enjoy myself and hang around with people who also don't care. Being 50+ is awesome. I hang out hours every day with nudists - we have all reached the point where we don't care about appearances and learned to just accept anything, and be accepted - best thing that happened in my life.
One of the best parts of my autistic son’s behaviors is his honesty. He is very open with telling people about his diagnosis as are we as a family, so friends and family all know. Seriously so awesome when we have family over and he will say, “you have been here for three hours, when are you leaving?” We all want to say the same thing but we would be rude. He says it and everyone laughs (but it still gets our guests to start heading out the door!!)
My husband has aspergers and now accepts it. He is 75. He's always saying to visitors "it's time you went home as it's time for my nana nap" and then promptly goes to the bedroom. Some don't know how to take him! It can be quite embarrassing but I'm used to it after 51 years of marriage. It has not been easy and we've had some troubled years but he's been a good provider and has provided security for me. Words of love don't come easily to him but he has mellowed with the years.
I started to cry after the first 2 minutes because it really hurt to hear the things you said and applying it all on myself. Like I somehow got reminded of how much I actually do work every day to come across as a pleasant person and such… I got diagnosed a few years ago as a grownup. I think this video was really good and insightful so thank you so much for making this.
I think I can relate, as the first few minutes of this got to me as well, actually much of the video to be quite honest. And while I've been diagnosed for about 10 years, it's not quite like--as a very surface-level analogy--having a missing limb or something very evidently a physical incapcitation that you and everybody else around immediately recognizes and responds to, it's that there's a constant and seemingly invisible struggle to understand many/most instances of interactions and other people's full intentions as well. At least for me. I also have an anxiety disorder, so there's some fuel on the fire, I suppose lol. But in all seriousness, it's very difficult to navigate through social circles.
@@shanchahua Yeah, it doesn't mean you're autistic, artistic, simplistic, holistic, nihilistic or trans. The world is truly crazy, like an angry female. Ignore media.
"This is me" I live in the UK, and I looks like you made this video about me. I am 55 and I have gone through my life not quite being able to put a finger on what it was that was making me feel how I feel. I have mentioned this to management where I work and sent them links to this video. Tuesday, I have got an Ocupational Heath Review at work around autism with the view of getting a test. I am 100% sure it's autism thank you very much.
I’m not diagnosed by a professional, and have been corroborating my self-discovery through the past few years through a lot of reading articles and books and watching videos from autistic creators. Every time I start to doubt myself and my internal struggles and external behaviors to disclose myself as autistic in my daily life, somehow another video gets uploaded, which consistently include yours, and it always re-affirms my gut feeling that yeah, I am a bit different and this is why. Maybe at some point I’ll stop needing external validation but I think second-guessing my experience as real comes with the territory. 😂 throughout it all, thanks Paul for being you and creating this content and helping me find a space where I can build my own trust in my intuition and confidently say “oh yeah, I relate to that”.
Yeah I am the same. I actually have started asking people if they think I am over the past couple of years but get varying inconclusive answers from why does it even matter to everyone is on the spectrum on some form or other lol.
I can relate to almost everything. When I was a child, I sometimes said things that would upset people, which I couldn’t understand why (I later on learned that either they didn’t like the truth or the way I worded things made them think I was trying to insult them or show superiority). As a result, I started avoiding social interaction. Now, as an adult, I still struggle to socialize but have learned to choose my words more carefully.
I found this very useful. My husband is undiagnosed autistic and currently waiting for an appointment but services are concentrated on children so the waiting list is long. I recognise traits in myself but some are opposite to my husband. He externalises his meltdowns whereas I internalise mine and withdraw. This is something I have done since childhood. In fact, I remember my Mum calling the Doctor out several times because I was lying in my bed just staring into space not eating or wanting to engage with anything. I can still remember it. I think my bed was my safe place. The only place I felt I truly fitted in has been my family. Everywhere else I feel like an oddball. Thank you for this video ❤
YES,YES,YES. System ignores adults who don't have major impairment. Turns out system is badly underfunded so adults a deemed "to have survived so far so they don't need help". Couldn't even get an appointment, so you did well just to get on the waiting list.
Very helpful. I've been wondering about someone in my life and this fit very well. I also like the parallels with ADHD. I have ADHD, and when asked to pick a random "whatever" I deliberately look for the obscure choice, partly for the intrigue it adds to the conversation and partly to disrupt whatever preconceptions they might have (like when magicians try to use the "blue" or "carrot" assumption to their advantage.)
Hello, my friend! Although you are unaware of it, it has been a while! Good to see you! Wow! You really have your presentation nailed! You are so natural in front of the camera! Your channel has come a long way! Great job! You represent our community well. Thank you! Take care!😀
I was 1st chair cellist for 4 years (before I moved). I had learned to play by ear and he didn't realize for a year. I tried playing later on and realized that I didn't have a drive to do it on my own. Having that teacher work with me and give me something to put my energy into helped me able to stay / survive school.
my sweet mom still refuses to accept i have autism and adhd, keeps saying instead that i'm simply a genius and that all genius people are quirky like me lol
Yay, I got 7/7 (8/8 if you include the last one) - I was over 60 when I realised it, a few years back, and it would have been SO much easier for me if I'd known from an early age.
My family carries it genetically from my mother's side. My son was diagnosed young, at 2. I was diagnosed as an adult and have an epilepsy linkage. Half of my nephews are on the spectrum. My cousin, aunt, and grandfather as well. I'm glad there is more acceptance and support now. I mask well enough that no one would guess in a professional or social setting.
Thank you for putting out this first hand info. I can totally relate, 900%. Years ago, I used to be involved with adult autistic groups. But they were filled with angry NT mothers that had autistic sons, and that's where the conversations always went. Even the people that ran a lot of these groups were not autistic, but were also angry NT moms of autistic sons. I appreciate this very accurate info. It may not help the assuming NT mind to really understand and accept us just the way we are, but at least it helps us know that we are not alone. That someone does understand. I gave up on groups a long time ago. It's nice to find your channel though 🧡
Thank you for another great listen with lots of recognition!! I was quite troubled the other day when I saw several reports on "how to cure autism" ("autism was not around 100 years ago and is caused by ....") I don't remember if it was lack of magnesium, too little vitamins, high environmental impact or something else but it was saddening to see people still thinking it is something that needs to be cured and that means people on the spectrum have deficiencies - instead of brains wired differently.
The irony is that many of the greatest and most creative achievements in human history were made by autistic people precisely because we think differently. Without that we probably wouldn't have a computerized global communications network on which to post such opinions. Heck, we probably wouldn't have invented invented fire, stone tools, or bows and arrows.
I definitely resonate strongly with most of these points. I'm not diagnosed, and had been shamed, and conditioned from youth to hide my eccentricities. So being around autistic people who embrace their differences is stressful in it's own way.
Hold up... I never knew withdrawal is in the same category as meltdowns and might even "replace" them in a sense. I am self-diagnosed, and the one reason I still have impostor syndrome about it is how rarely I have meltdowns, or how much I can control myself to not have them in public. If I'm alone, I would let myself "overreact" and scream or cry when little frustrations build up, but I can mask and hold back from doing that in public. But, I feel like I'm in a constant state of overwhelm or burnout from life, and my reponse is withdrawing and letting go of social interactions so I can save energy and keep doing the bare minimum of personal hygiene and commute and enough work to keep my job and minimal family obligations. But I never, ever have the energy to keep in contact with friends or old acquaintances. I kind of thought of it as a sign of burnout, but never saw it as similar to meltdowns. Now I feel like I was enlightened. Wonder if the diagnostic criteria are updated with this though, if my presentation could be professionally recognized.
I can usually tell when someone "is like me." You will know if you are around other autistic people. Somehow, it feels "normal."
Yes. I usually can spot others like me quickly, and those are most interesting conversations I always have.
💯
I thought I was recognizing another non normie
Yes
In my 68 years I have NEVER met anyone who even faintly resembles me in any way whatsoever. But I have been relentlessly bullied, harassed, humiliated, ridiculed, crapped on and basically treated like garbage so I guess that makes up for it.
My biggest "problem" as an autist is that I can not lie. I am always totally honest and that does not come down well.
Most autistic people can lie.
I know what you mean!
You’re very well capable of lying. It’s just that you cannot fake enthusiasm
Crippling honesty.. if you don't think it's disabling, you haven't had to try and grind in late stage, greed based capitalism.
Of course I understand technically the concept of lying and can do it in a mechanistic but not convincing way. What I have never been able to do is the kind of in between thing of "bigging up" or "bluffing" in for example a job interview, making it seem I had more responsibility for something than I actually did. Neurotypicals seem to be able to magically take a kernel of truth and make it into something much more, but equally magically know just how far they can go while still seeming convincing.
I'm always the odd one out in social gatherings. That's why I avoid them and just enjoy my personal hobbies.
Nothing wrong with that. At the age of sixty, I finally came to the conclusion that people are just not worth the effort. Wish I had known that when I was young. It would have made my life so much easier.
I agree.Totally people.I trust.Authorized trusted, we're just using me.That's all what I need a favor nobody can help me
I host the gatherings and we do them at parks so we can all go home after a few hours of fun. Color wars are a great way to get all the loved ones together without social awkwardness because we are busy throwing paint at each other's faces.
Yes and they are also very boring. I am reducing my social interactions for 40% this year compared to previous year. So draining and not much inspiring, interesting or mentally stimulating. My problem is that I say yes to people I care about and that often means going places with them, and doing things I don't wanna do. Now radically reducing doing this and also reducing amount of communication with too many people.
I'm not autistic but npd, hpd and I try to barge in. Never has good results.
I believe I have both autistic and ADHD traits and I'm so glad I finally realized this. I always knew I was "different". Hate small talk, talking on the phone, am super sensitive/empathetic, need solitude, hyperfocus on my crochet or painting (being creative makes me feel alive!)...and on, and on, and on. Thank you for these videos. Feels good to relate to others who share these characteristics :)
This sounds a lot like me. How do you go getting things from the shops? Face to face, we codes, email, apps?
I prefer email or phone. Although sometimes I need it written down, pen and paper can work. Talking can at times be hard to process.
I like time doing pet care, drawing, writing pen and paper. Creative projects give my brain a rest yet is when I feel alive.
You sound just like me, I wish we could be friends. Just to have someone to sit next to in silence doing a hobby would be nice without the pressure of needing to be “on” socially
@jessiedxo oh yeah, I would love that, to have someone to sit next to and do a hobby without needing to talk. Even if it's make up application, sewing, getting my hands in paint.
Would love to be your friend.
Wishing you an amazing day!
❤❤
@@missymischief1802 that sounds amazing, wish it was easy to find more people like us
Amem, amen, amen!❤❤❤
"One of the reasons I need stability and routine and secutrity is because I _am_ so flexible."
Wow that makes a lot of sense. I really do need routine but I also feel quite malleable and open, and I couldn't reconcile the two.
Same here.
Yes, I relate to that.
I still can't..
Yes that's me 😂
I am the same way and it drives my wife insane. Some things I am super flexible and other things I don't like it to change.
"Amusing oneself is ways that are unlikely to be amusing to other people."
That's a keeper.
I don't have autism... but that sounds exactly like me.
Not a wanker then?
Or one could be work shopping a joke they wrote
@@ThatGuyz82 It's totally okay to have some things in common with us NDs, we won't bite. :)
@@NiaLaLa_V I have ADHD. It is both a curse and a superpower. I can build things and do non repetitive tasks like a super hero... if it requires organization and repetition, then I am doomed.
The unusual associations one hits hard, sometimes the connection/reference will genuinely be the funniest thing in the world to me, but the joke falls completely flat for others lol
That or I make a connection I think is completely sensible and everyone else is laughing...
YEEEESSSS
Same here. Usually I'm the only one in a group that finds something very funny (especially if I came up with it), while I almost never find funny jokes or general things that are funny to everyone else in that same group.
Regarding general topics for conversation, I am bored to death with 95% of things that people around me discuss or wanna talk about. Which is especially annoying when I'm at work and can't escape them. I'd rather be in silence that talk for the sake of it or discuss uninteresting things.
😂😂 I know
YES! Regardless of the set up, my response is often the one that’s not in congruence with the majority 😅
As someone who suffers with extreme severe anxiety I can totally relate to her. I would stop eating for days at a time as a punishment. I worry a lot about my life, everyone around me and pleasing everyone. It's absolutely crippling, so glad she got the help she needed, lovely young lady it's so sad that society has 1 in 3 people suffering mental health issues. I hope everyone seeks help
People need to realise that people with anxiety disorders have oversensitised nerves, it's not a simple case of manning up and getting over it.
Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about how mushrooms and psychedelics treats anxiety, but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!
Yes, doctor Greg mushroom I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
Please, how do I reach doctor Greg?
Is he on the internet?
#9, the quiet dude in a lobby somewhere that just bursts out laughing for no obvious reason. That's me. My brain is a constant source of amusement, and there will be times that I run scenarios that just happen to make me laugh out loud.
Me too!! I try to mask it the best that I can but it slips out with me too. And when I'm alone it happens a lot. I had a very close very autistic long time friend who did that all the time too. He'd explain immediately after. And I don't think he masked anything at all.
Same!
I know that my unmasking is working because I’m finally doing that again- as a kid it was my normal but I got culturally ABA’d out of it. I’m also caring far, far less about how OTHERS think something should look, be done, behave like, blah blah blah- their culture sucks so why should I care? My life gets better the less I care about NT culture. 😊
When I used to go to movie theaters (before the plague), commonly I'd burst out laughing at a scene - but I'd be the only one laughing in the audience. Yes, different.
@@rjparker2414 I've had that happen too.
I was just diagnosed with autism and it’s changing my life for the better, my schools, psychologists and primary doctors refused to even entertain that I could be autistic and/or adhd just based on me being “social” (masking) and being a girl. Here I am almost 15 years later with my diagnosis, thank you for posting :))
I am going through the same frustration right now with my new counselor; I don't understand why doctors and therapists don't want to even consider the possibility. I mean, isn't a good medical practitioner supposed to be open-minded to all possibilities, without a bias? I was trying to avoid the idea that I might have autism for YEARS, because I didn't understand what it was, and people only think about the really obvious stereotypes (of spinning and twirling in public, making loud noises, and having meltdowns in the middle of the store). And people talk about autistic people as if they aren't very smart (except for maybe with their special interest); but I know very well that our brains are constantly coming up with ideas, and we can be pretty logical (especially with our literal style of thinking). At least my counselor told me that he can pick up on something like autism (he referred to Asperger's as if wasn't the same as autism; to maybe indicate that I have faulty thinking or something? I don't know). I was using the term Asperger's when I first discovered the world of autism almost 3 years ago, and then I learned that people weren't using the term anymore, and so I wanted to be more adequate in trying to use the word "autism" instead. It's a tough slope to climb, I will agree with that for sure!
Being an afab or person that’s perceived as that sucks when you’re Autistic, everyone knew I was a weirdo, every teacher, every doctor, every friends parent saw me as different or pitied me (I also grew up with lots of traumatic stuff so that did it too)
But everyone knows, no one advocates for you or tries to speak up when professionals don’t do their job and ignore you!
What you said about being afraid of the autism diagnosis is SO REAL, the first time I was ever made aware of the possibility of being autistic is my mom saying, in a seemingly “insulting” way “oh my god, are you autistic?” (My brother is diagnosed with autism)
I was super scared of that being true and pushed it wayyy down, this was like 5-6 years ago. October of 2022 I finally figured out that it indeed wasn’t the first diagnosis (bpd) it’s autism and adhd.
It’s crazy how a few stupid kids (me included, honestly) have used or continue to use “autistic” as a slur and how that LITERALLY is a direct cause of at least hundreds of autistic people too scared to face their condition, or too scared to be open about it. I mean the main “fundraiser for autism” is AUTISM SPEAKS. enough said.
Fantastic, going for mine at 63 , who knew ✌️
@@briellerl034 Yeah, it's definitely frustrating for me to discovery autism as an adult, but the people closest to me don't want to think that I am autistic. They just want me to keep going to doctors and counselors to try and figure out what ELSE it could possibly be (they seem like they want it to be ANYTHING but autism). They believed me when I told them that I had social anxiety, depression, OCD, ADHD, Emotional PTSD, and sensory issues though; but all of that couldn't possibly be autism though 🤦♀️). They figure that there must be some other disorder to add to the list, instead of just acknowledging that those are autistic traits (and I have many more). Just because I am not doing the stereotypical things (like making loud noises in public, spinning, and being completely mute), doesn't mean that I don't have the other 30+ traits. I did a lot of spinning in the living room as a kid, and outside though. I didn't do it public, and if I think back, I DO make vocal sounds when in distress or stressed, but not loud (and not like in the middle of a mall or something). We can only hope that doctors and counselors get more educated, and not be afraid to at least assess people for it. If a person happens to get a counselor who had been practicing therapy for 20 years, chances are they hardly touched the subject of autism during college and university. I have a minor in psychology and I think that it might have been briefly mentioned once out of the 15 psychology courses that I took. I think that I remember reading 2 paragraphs in a text book one year out of my 4 years as psychology student.
I got mine at 70. I could have gotten help in the 3rd grade. But my stepdad prohibited me being tested threatening to have me shot or sent away to juvenile prison to stop my mom or I from getting help.
I always feel like everyone else knows exactly what is going on except me - like they all had a meeting I missed.
I felt that way in school. Getting glasses so I could read things and see what was going on helped :P
LOL
That makes sense, because now that you mention it, I don't remember ever seeing you at a meeting.
so true
@@Kube_Dog😂😂
6/17/2024
Hi I'm Elizabeth 48 years old and
I love being alone because no
One understands my feelings,
People and family are to judgemental and I can't deal with injustice acts...
I can't stand loud noises or people
Arguing..
I'm so grateful because being
A spiritual person helps me struggle less...🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
Houston Texas 🙌
Struggle less and understand more. I have to say, you have tapped in to a key element. Faith. That is everything. Ask God for what you want and it will arrive, but build that faith to an unshakable level. That has been the absolute key to my enormous successes later in life. You can even overcome the "limits" autism puts on you, or to find a way around them to accomplish anything you ever wanted in life. It took me 54 years to get it. Now 60, I sit here completely astonished at what I have achieved in the past 6 years, and all of the totally insanely awesome things that have happened. Against all odds. And these were some serious odds. God Bless You.
I truly understand I’m a introvert
Same.
You are not alone with this.
My best friend's and my feelings are so similar to what you discribe.
Evaluation and judgement feel so wrong and cause All problems I see in the world. If wars, argues, divorce or even murder.
And even murder for someone's money or things is what follows a judgement of what is fair or not. Without having a closer look onto other's perspective.
I hope you know what I mean. So this is why I feel so helpless and sad about judgemental people.
And this is why those who come really close into my heart have fur or feathers.
Too*
Down with the QR-code menu!
Down with self-ckeckout machines!
Up with QR code menus and self-checkout machine! I never want to interact with another person, ordering with a waiter is super stressful.
As someone who is (self-diagnosed) on the Autism Spectrum, I developed a bunch of "Routines" to deal with people. All are well rehearsed and practiced. Many involve quite the comedy routine that Neurotypical people overwhelmingly enjoy. This has made it VERY easy for me to interact with waitstaff at restaurants.
On the other hand, if things don't work out the way I "Planned" for them to, as can frequently happen with computers (including the badly misnamed "Smart" phones), I wig out. This has left me with quite the phobia about working with anything computerized, save in the simplest of manners (such as watching UA-cam videos and some emailing).
I have yet to work one of those QR things and have had enough problems with attempts that I'm no longer willing to even try with them.
If they use QR code menus, they had better have free WiFi that is super easy to access.
You walk up, thinking about getting something to eat. Pull out your phone, spend too long trying to get onto the wifi, especially with all the marketing questionnaires, well, I will give up and go elsewhere ( Oh well, KFC is just 5 minutes away ). You have lost a customer for ever.
Down with being forced into one single path to resolve a question. How hard is it really to have the menu written up on the wall as well as offering the QR code for those who prefer it? Or to offer a staffed checkout as well as the self-checkout option?
I've written a book that was recently published 'Living with Autism Undiagnosed '. Got my diagnosis at age 57.
I want to get diagnosed…. 50
I’m 67. Undiagnosed by a professional. All of this really hits home with me. Mom PCP thinks I just have social anxiety- which I do…… because of my autism?
Read my book, I wrote it yo help people like you.
I'm in my early 50s, I'm seeking a diagnosis... My child was diagnosed with Asperger's
Ordered! Thank you!
So painful to hear #7. Suffered my whole life as “different“. Very lonely. Own family holding me at arm’s length. Luckily intelligence came with it - could think out of the box - was very needed in corporate setting - had a great career but no lasting relationships. Outcomes not so great.
Yeah I ll admit you can’t ever see the positive in this one. I have dreams about being on the outside of a house while everyone is indoors having hot drinks and wine and talking. I know I’ll never be in there and stay in there with them…. Even when I’m accepted , I’m not the one whose birthday people celebrate, or the first they think to invite-unless they have no one else. Or they may think my family is wealthy or something to gain from me or pity. There is no changing this. Eventually you just realize it. COVID was great because everyone was reduced to almost the aame
@@visionvixxen WOW‼️ your last sentence is so wonderful‼️YES‼️
@@visionvixxen I have definitely been there. Am kinda there right now. But I will say there are ways around it. Finding the right group of people really has helped me at certain points in my life. In high school I volunteered at an aquarium with a bunch of quirky, interesting people (many of whom I realized later were probably neurodivergent). I got even luckier at undergrad, attending an honors college which was basically built for neurodivergent people without explicitly saying it (once again only realized after I got my own diagnosis). So finding groups of other neurodivergents- especially autistic people- can be really incredible. That said, it is easier said than done. Im working on building a new community in a new place, and its taken almost 3 years and an autism diagnosis to really even start to feel the semblance of these connections. But its definitely worth it, and definitely possible. I wish you the best in trying to find it!
Boomerang,
I have no idea why I feel the need to reply to your post?... For whatever reason, it resonates with me. I have not been diagnosed with Autism, and maybe that's why life has been so hard for me?... I am the outsider; the one who feels awkward all the time in public. I always feel like the dumbest person in the room. I don't pick up on social cues. I don't make friends. I have no relationship with 99% of my family. I don't get invited to social functions. When I want to do something, I usually have to do it alone. I have failed, for a multitude of reasons, at every job I had.
It is so wonderful that you were successful in your career!! Good luck to you! 🤗
@@visionvixxen I feel and agree with everything you said so hard.
I finally got diagnosed last year, I'm over 50. It was honestly a weight off my shoulders.
I finally had a hard answer on why I've had a terrible time at workplaces, having had over 60 jobs.
I hit all 7 of these spot on.
What did you ended up doing for work?
How or where do you find who does it? I gt diagnosed for ADD and it seemed to me like those pre-established tests were barely scratching a surface.
Had a mini one recently, awaiting further after adhd.
@@Ljudet_Innan say as alot here, everything without knowing why all around you can cope there for so many years.
I was diagnosed 3 months after my 50th birthday, by (oddly enough) another autistic person. I have found that we can spot each other. I also got fired a lot, and I also have those "oh that's why" moments regularly. But I CANNOT let go of how angry I am that the system failed me so badly. How angry I am that I could have avoided all the situations in my life (like not feeling anything when my sons were born) that would cause an autistic person distress. I could have not made life so difficult for my wife a few times a week. I could have real relationships. I could have friends, which I have never had. (I had people I hung around with but they called me things like "socially retarded". They were not my friends. I have never had a real friend. I could have AVOIDED that if people WOULD HAVE OPENED THEIR DAMN EYES.
I don't avoid social gatherings because of not being able to fit in... I just find people incredibly uninteresting to the point that I have much more fun on my own.
😂👍
This is meeeeeeee
that's me too 100%
Definitely me 😂
Literally me fr😂😂😂
I have fun with my online friends but not with human that i interact irl😂😂😂
LOL!!! Yes, that IS a valid 8th category. I LOVE amusing myself. Sometimes ill be messing around with my wife or son, and I'll be making myself laugh hard (I often do), and one of them will let me know that they absolutely don't see the humor. I'll laugh even harder and say, "I know! That one was for me!"
Bravo!
I’m always laughing to myself & at myself & at…everything! Others are always struck by it.
When people don’t laugh at my jokes I just tell them that it doesn’t matter if you are entertained, as long as I am. lol.
❤
😅😂
I’m not sure if anyone else feels the same, but I just wanted to say how grateful I am for your videos. I used to be really ashamed of the face that I was on the spectrum, and these videos have helped me not only accepting my autism, but also helping me be proud of it.
I appreciate these videos, too. And I think I like the comments section just as much. It has allowed me to see that there are so many other people out there who are similar to me. I can converse with them from the safety, privacy, and comfort of my own home. And I can feel more free to learn about what autism is really like through autistic people's eyes, including Paul's.
And you know what I've found? I like the people I find here. I like the thoughts they share. And I like the trates that I have found that a lot of us have in common.
To me, neurodivergence isn't actually the split away from the norm. To me, the characteristics that are labled as neurodivergent are actually the way humans originally were. Our trates are what seem to make the most sense to survive and even thrive in a natural setting within a tribe. To me what's considered neurotypical now is actually what diverged from what humans once were. They've lost all of the trates that would have helped them to survive. Instead the bulk of humanity has developed one particular skill to an extreme. And that's the ability to blend with a very large group of people in what has become a crazy enormous population.
I could go on and on about that. But I'm actually really glad to have many of the beautiful qualities that are labled as neurodivergent today.
I hope those thoughts of mine help you, and hopefully others, to feel a little less odd and a little more beautiful for who you/they/we are.
@@anyascelticcreations You wrote «...the way humans originally were. » I find this VERY interesting! It's kinda hard to certify this is right about our ancestors, but it's very tempting to believe it! That means WE would now be the retardeds of evolution!!! (JOKE) More realistically and positively, it means too that we are the ones who remained awake! No?
@@armandrioux3660 Yep, pretty much impossible to certify that our ancestors were what is now called neurodivergent. But it sure makes sense that it would be true. I've commented many times about it on this channel and have had many wonderful conversations as a result. You're welcome to look them up if you'd like to read what I and other people had to say about it. If I wasn't in a post mini-meltdown state and utterly exhausted right now I'd probably say a lot more because it's a subject I'm very interested in. But briefly, I guess one could say that we've remained awake, like you said. That's probably a nicer way to say it than how I look at it. Lol. I think of the bulk of the human population as devolving. Or at the very least evolving very far away from what I believe were our roots. And in many ways, I think that humanity in general has lost a lot of very good traits in the process. I think of those of us who are now called divergent to be at least somewhat close to what was actually diverged from. Someday I'd like to start a chat or something about that somewhere. If I knew how. Lol.
I don't know if I'm on the spectrum , but I was DX with ADHD late in life. ( 97th percentile on the tests LOL) There are def. pros and cons to being neurodivergent, but shame is not an option. Frankly I'm proud of how well I've done in life unmedicated. Now I know why it was so hard. I'm also happy with being different and creative. I find ' normal ' people a bit boring.
While I quite agree that being "proud" of your autism is a wholesome attitude, isn't that contrary to the professional perspective which considers it a disorder?
Why am I crying? I resonated with everything you said. I don’t feel so strange anymore. Thank you for helping me understand more about myself. I’m new to your channel, I’m glad I found your channel
because seeing 1 in a billion people that actually understand your inner workings is heartbreaking. esp after you been heartbroken so many times by billions that dont understand nor respect anything, but conformity.
@@MalhaIIa Its not 1 in a billion. At least 1 in 50 people are autistic in the United States. Which correlates with an estimated 5.4 million autistic Americans.
Accepting your autism is the greatest freedom. Accept that you will not fit in so that you can stop trying so hard. Enjoy being your wonderful self. You don’t need the world’s approval. Approve of yourself 😊😊😊😊🙏
Love this. Thanks for articulating it.
An then what? People reject you and you get fired from your job? Is not realistic for most people to stop trying bc has horrible consecuences
@@anab8412wow, you certainly have their best at heart.😐
@@justiceiria869 I said what I said bc is a thing that gives me a lot of pain
@@anab8412 I agree with that. One needs to fit in with others in order to succeed at a job and to have friends. People should not accept their autism because it can lead to failure in life and loneliness. They need to work to change and be more like the other people around them.
I've never been tested, and don't really care one way or the other if I'm on the spectrum or not. I've always been a little different. In my youth, it was a liability that I tried to cover up. Now that I'm a senior, being different is definitely an asset. I've learned to accept myself as I am, be the best me that I can be, and just let the chips fall where they may as to whether others accept me or not.
I remember the day I went to a (free) KISS reunion show. My friend had free tickets and called to ask what I was going to wear. I said "Probably jeans and a T-shirt. I'm too old to care what teenagers think of me." So freeing!
Wise decision which is what I did when I was young despite questioning my abilities. However, I believe we "ALL" have pluses and minus and it is up to us not compare ourselves to others. Especially when there are those that want to put us in a category. Don't allow it and ignore those comments from those individuals. Believe me, it helps to feel good about ourselves with whatever abilities we have. Stay well and stay strong.
Love this!
Yea who cares at that point.
Thank you so much for all that you share! You are doing a great service to humanity.
My ADHD diagnosis last year at age 40 led to the discovery that I am also autistic and have masked it reasonably well enough to fool everyone…especially myself. I just didn’t know much about autism and thus never suspected it.
Every person’s story I read and every video I watch explaining the autistic experience is like hearing my own life story in granular detail.
This has changed my life in profound ways! It’s been a grieving process, reframing my entire life story…but I’ve come around to accepting it and embracing it…I’m not broken, I’m not selfish, lazy, irresponsible, or crazy, as I had been led to believe…I’m AuDHD and that is ok. So blessed to be celebrated for the things I excel at! Thank you again, the validation has set me free! 🎉
Was diagnosed with ADHD at age 58 and I've been through all these feelings! YAY US!
@@reneelibby4885 I am beyond thankful that we have all been able to share our stories and support each other! I started school in the late 80s and there were no resources for people like me….I’m sure it goes without saying that it was the same for you; I assume you graduated around 83. All of these things are coming to light! Those of my generation and before have had to suffer through the “dark ages” of ADHD/autism awareness. Hopefully today’s children won’t have to go through this.
I work in a cat clinic and I'd say majority of our staff is neurodivergent. Even the owner/head doctor will on occasion say "cats are autistic" based on their behaviors. Makes the staffing choices really understandable lol
Thank you for the vote of catfidence. I've been called a crazy cat lady for having a lot of cats. They all even have names. Maybe it is the Autism that makes us get along so well.
There's a lot of sense in this. ND people have to bend their behavior to suit the people around them, and being unable to pick up on social cues through language, often have to learn body language. Most people do not know how to behave around cats. Instead of changing their behavior to suit the cat, they just frighten or anger it. They can't "read" the cat at all. But for someone ND, that's something they do all the time.
@@victoryamartin9773Same for me !
Shane Gillis said cats are like autistic people and dogs like people with down syndrome... pretty funny bit
This makes a lot of sense to me. I have always been a cat person. I find most dogs really overstimulating (the way they get really excitable, the way they strongly vy for your attention, etc.) and I just find it difficult to understand their behavior. I love how cats are such a chill and calm presence. I feel like they get me, lol.
I’ve always noticed in conversation with people, that im obviously not responding the way they expect.
Flip it! They're not responding the way you expect
I don’t notice but later am told.
Yeah, no one follows the script I have in my head.
What's helped me is don't over think it..some people are just not very friendly...or jealous
Too many carbs, probably.
I’m autistic, but I think I’ve masked in order to survive for most of my life. I suspect that I also have ADHD.
You do : AD/H/D is the genetic foundation of (all other) neuro-divergence.
P.S. : Just ask Temple Grandin!
@@nanwilder2853 I doubt it.
@@Catlily5: Too lazy to do your own research?
@@nanwilder2853 My own research never gave any hint of that. And I read Thinking in Pictures by Temple Grandin. But obviously I haven't researched everything on earth. But I don't think that Temple Grandin is an expert on ADHD. So even if she said it, that doesn't mean that I would believe it. It would depend on her sources.
I was 56 years old when I was diagnosed Autistic. I like being Autistic because I still love all of the things that I loved when I was a young boy. It was my daughter that helped me figure it out because of my fascination with all things trains. Today I am a retired Locomotive Engineer, and my basement (and the house) is wall to wall model trains. I was diagnosed Savant before I was diagnosed Autistic. Being Autistic is not so bad!!! Now I help the parents of Autistic children, and teach them that Autism is not "the big bad cookie monster" that they thought it was. Autism can be kind of fun!!!
Autism definitely hasn't been fun for me.
@@invisibleink2644 If I could ask, where do you fall on the spectrum? I might be able to help you. Have you taken the evaluation that gives you a number? Anything that puts you over an 18 indicates that you are Autistic. I scored a 23 on my good days, and 29 on my bad days. A bad day is when I am struggling with physical pain. I also have Secondary Progressive MS, thanks to the water at Camp Lejeune. I was injured while I was in the Military. The VA has given me my P&T rating. That means that I am Permanently & Totally disabled. Life is still very, very good though!!! I am also an INFJ personality. There were a lot of Marines that just did not understand me. Back then I did not know that I am Autistic. I know that I can help you. When someone is trying to help you, and they are not Autistic, sometimes they can do more damage than good----I know that I can help you!!!
@invisibleink2644 hopefully you can find the good in yourself and enjoy life
@@marthaaldridge5346 I already have---thanks!
If you are a retired locomotive engineer you are not really autistic. Sorry but that is the truth. Stop diluting the water of those who are really autistic. Who can’t function or even live by the selves.
One of my biggest problems is social gatherings and situations. I always feel left out, not included in things. I feel extremely anxious and uncomfortable around people I don't know. I prefer to avoid them altogether and stay at home where I feel comfortable
Thank you so much. I have been married for 40 years. Just recently my husband who is still undiagnosed, and I determined he might be autistic. That would be the cause of all of our fights and arguments over the last 40 years. Since I currently assume that that is the case, I've been looking into how to better communicate with him and things have improved greatly. Every one of the things that you listed today hit the nail on the head! Thank you for helping me understand my husband even more.
I am in the same boat. We have been together 31 years and I have just recently realized my husband is autistic. He has told me numerous stories of how teachers used to scream at him in school. He said I don't know why but teachers all hated me. I barely graduated because school was so torturous for me. The odd thing is he is very smart, he just didn't know how to respond to them appropriately in the way the teachers expected. Sad.
Don't forget you have also some kind of diagnose. Everyone has.
As a wife of 30 years I know my husband better than anyone. He was often punished for misbehaving as a child. He would break things to see how they worked. As a toddler he would escape to his Aunts house. He had loving parents but this chaos did create issues. He has told me many times he can’t shut his brain off. Over the years he has grown more socially awkward. He just simply doesn’t want to deal with people. I now do many things alone or he takes a separate car so he can leave when he wants. He is extremely smart and can build anything by just looking at it. He has stomach issues. He has sleeping issues… the list goes on. I find myself interested in these YT channels like they have opened a door to what I have wondered about.
@@pianolessonsbyheatherthis was my experience with school as well. In turn this fueled my original hatred for education. My tune has changed of course, and I am all for higher education. However, not if you’re just getting a random degree.
I was told by countless teachers that I’d never make it and that I was crazy. I kept pushing and didn’t listen to anyone, and achieved my dreams. In the end, I proved everyone including myself wrong. I’ve found a love for math and reading books that I’ve never had. I’m in my mid 20s and have quite a bit to learn still. I have 7 YoE as a software engineer, and it’s been a wild ride. I tell myself that if I fail, then I should learn from it, and if I fail enough, then I’ll succeed. I think of ASD as a gift and a curse. I didn’t figure this out until recently. Turns out there is an interesting anomaly of ASD + ADHD + High IQ that enabled me (and others with that combo) to fly under the radar.
My partner has signs of Autism and ADHD.
I do most things on my own.
He will.go put occasionally, but avoids people then.
My example for spiky skillset is I have a really hard time remembering names, but I rarely forget a face.
With me, I am bad with both names and faces but pretty good at remembering specific things they mentioned they were interested in once. And also I'm really good at shape language and color theory when it comes to art, but not perspective or shading.
I tell people i have a photographic memory, "but the dymo keeps falling off my polaroids"
Same here. I struggle terribly with names, but will easily recall significant facts about someone, such as their birthday, where they went to school, how many children they have, and the like.
Someone could walk up to me and say "My name is John Smith. What's my name?" and I would say "Ah...ah.. I..I..I don't know."
Same!
I hate scanning a QR code at a restaurant!
Me too!
Really why??
Never done it, can't seem to adjust to QR codes.
Also I go to a restaurant not just to eat but to have interaction with the staff. If it’s all impersonal with apps, what’s the point? I can do that at home and just pick it up.
I have a similar problem with my banking app. No longer have a local high street bank branch, so forced online. It is a permanent problem.
"...amuses themselves in ways that are unlikely to be amusing to other people" I gave you a thumbs up for this! Awesome observation! Thanks!
9:10 "Autistic shutdown and withdrawal is a huge challenge in many relationships"
bro you just turned a searchlight on my darkest corner
My face was the grimace emoji that whole segment.
This has definitely been one of the big ones for my husband and I. Now that I understand his autism better, I understand the situations and he spends less time isolating himself. One time after an argument he isolated and refused to speak to me for over a month. Not even a hello not even I love you, nothing. Not one word came out of his mouth when I was around. But that doesn't happen anymore now that I am beginning to understand.
that's called ''stonewalling'', and it's a form of manipulation.
@@nek_ad that's not the same thing.
@@Skreee99 there is no difference between functional autistic person and a narcissist.
Amusing themselves in ways that may not be amusing to others.
That hits so hard. 😂 what can I say? I crack myself up. I have a good time.
I find myself very funny. LOL
I'm like Humpty Dumpty.
i punch walls whenever i'm taking shower.
don't tell me to stop, i can't. It's my tick.
I was waiting for a family member to finish a medical consultation for a long time this afternoon, and I started to think about Margot Robbie naming her daughter "Cradle", like all the other stupid names Hollywood people come up with. Then the vows would be "Do you take Cradle Robbie to be your lawfully wedded wife?" You know, because if you have a cradle robber, you also need to have a cradle robbee.
Anyway, I thought this was hilarious and the dead time in the lobby flew by in a heartbeat.
I am here to check on me because I do have a daughter with Asperger which is part of the Autism Spectrum and my niece's daughter has autism which she refused to join a group of parents to help one another. I couldn't tell he anything since she is above learning from others. So I tried to help but my advice would not be considered.
I for one, found your "different" amusement quite entertaining (in a good way, like "I get that"). Good video btw. Very relatable.
By far one of the most comprehensive youtube channels about autism, thanks a lot for your dedication!
The part about unusual associations hits pretty close at home; I can easily find obsure references and patterns between unrelated subjects and I have to explain them to people
As a teenager and young adult I wrote a lot of poetry. It is literally filled with unusual associations. I wasn’t doing it on purpose. It was just the way my brain worked. The more I matured and learned to function in the world, the more that part of my thinking disappeared. I don’t know if that’s a common experience or not.
Yes!!!!!!
fibonacci - 1:1.618 - OR phi. go check that our for math and real natures calculations
Right
Oh my gosh, yes!!
Mostly doing this for myself, even though I've indeed been confirmed autistic twice now by professionals.
1) Social interactions = I find them draining, and I wish to avoid them over being "part of the crew"
2) Structured/Routines = I prefer doing things the "right" way, and think of systems constantly, then things fall apart spectacularly when routine is broken. My mind is always full of many competing thoughts, jostling around and competing with each other. Further, I used to daydream like a champ in my youth... in school.
3) Sensory issues = I noticed so much throughout life that I "felt" and/or perceived certain stimuli much more intensely than others. Also learned to "push through" pain in order to meet certain, odd, "goals"
4) Skill sets = I was a fairly good surfer in my late teens and into my early 20s... I could skate "OK", but could never master moves many others had down pat. Give me something that requires really good hand/eye coordination, matched with a time limit, and I suffer greatly... so video games I shun. Put any type of maths in front of me, up to, but not including calculus, though, and I "go to town", but if you make me write an essay on some social issue, I put it off indefinitely, bc yuck. I really dislike rereading what I have written, and especially do not like editing it.
5) Emotional regulations = I have been known to "snap" and lash out, or scream back, when pushed, or I throw fits, and that's gone on well into my adulthood. I also prefer to, and insist on hiding, when shit gets too much, even when the hiding is taken as a sign of weakness or avoidance by the "abuser"/by others. Some meltdowns happen over things deemed trivial by others.
6) Mental jumps = One of the reason I avoid conversation is just this. My mind goes "off the rails/switches tracks" while trying to follow what the other(s) is/are saying.
7) Different = Many People in my life have deemed me odd, off, quirky, dull, different, etc. on many, many occasions.
"Things fall apart spectacularly when routine is broken". Yes!
Or even just plans. When my perfect plan for the night is broken because someone wants to get a burger or take an earlier train. Don't do this to me, wait, never mind, I'm going there on my own.
Would you mind explaining what you mean by Nr. 3? Pushing through in order to meet goals in what way?
Felt like I wrote your post. In the same boat 😅
@@raipa111 Sports pain, and I suppose a lot of work pain... I know of many of my contemporaries who wouldn't "go as hard", or complain ad nauseam about the pain they're in. I stay mum
I related to almost everything you said. I am more used to social interactions than when I was a kid, but I still need time to get away and have a mental and sensory break from the event afterwards. I do tend to withdraw/shut down when I am pushed to the brink (or lash out), but I do not have mental jumps. I am definitely different; I will not win any popularity contests anytime soon-lol 😆.
I just got my late autism diagnosis on the 22nd of may 2024. Just 8 days ago. I'm 43 years old. I'm forever grateful for autistic youtubers like you. It means the world to me. Thank you. 🏆❤
How did you went about getting tested? If you dont mind sharing?
Hi @@BlueSmokie. I'm in Europe. Here we have about four test forms to fill out at a licensed psychologist, and after that, we have to go to an autism center at the hospital, where you go through two separate tests along with two more test forms that you have to fill out as well. They are very thorough, and it's a long process. But it's definitely worth going through it, in my opinion. Getting an official diagnosis was really important for me. But offcores I understand if it's not important with an official one for everyone. You have to ask your doctor or a licensed psychologist, to get a referral to get diagnosed. Wishing you the best of luck, wherever you live.
@@lisbethchristensen1981 Thanks for the info! I'm self-diagnosed at 55... (it's interesting to have people I've known for a while saying "yep, it's obvious", while those who just met me say "nay, can't be!") So, I'm thinking about getting the relevant tests (I've only done the basic stuff you can find online - which says about 80% probable)
Incredibly relatable. Thanks for sharing.
Hi @@teresagraves849 . You're very welcome.
Already been medically/psychologically diagnosed with autism but I still feel drawn to videos like this where it just fortifies the diagnosis. You got everything to a t.
My good guy husband says " in school I alwayd perfered to look out the window. Daydreaming is necessary for creativity ". Of course report cards were never the high spot in the week !
i got called out for daydreaming during assembly once. my homeroom teacher said the entire faculty was talking about me. but i remember that day clearly, i was thinking why my teacher's voice sounds like it was from the window in the next building instead of from the speakers near the podium. of course they cant find the correlation between my behaviour and the high marks i got in science lol
I was the same. I always just remembered that the closer to the window you are, the more of a main character you are in anime logic, lol. I was always sad when it was real nice outside and I was stuck in air conditioned hell doing work I had no interest in. I also had undiagnosed learning disabilities in maths and reading...so school was a bitch.
Damn, science was my worst class always. I love science and studying how the world works, maybe they just made it too much about rote memorization and paperwork for it to work for me. :/@@izzatihassan1475
I work at a large company. I use Microsoft teams to start interest groups. I have basically started 5 interest groups around my interests. Each group has attracted many members. So I get to skip the small talk and enjoy my interests with others. It’s working out great!
I've always been the odd person out, even in my own family. So much so that I asked my parents if I was adopted because I felt I wasn't like anyone else. I make tangential connections that others can't see unless I take them through the long and winding road to that connection. I get overwhelmed by too much social interaction, trying to fit in and hold that mask up is just too hard, but I still like people just in a limited way. I tend to communicate differently, saying the wrong thing without even realizing I've done so. I'm taken aback when someone is offended or angered by something I've said, not realizing why they are reacting like that. I never intend to provoke others in those ways, but it just seems to be the case with me. Dealing with others can be exhausting. I have a lot of empathy, and if people are patient enough and explain why they came to feel the way they do about something I've said, I can see how it came to be that I hurt or provoked them in some way and am all to happy to explain what I actually meant and apologize. I can often can be pedantic - I just don't fit, except with very patient, tolerant folks. Evenings when I'm tired and hurting, it's easy for me to melt down with even small stressors. I like my routines because I know how to be inside those perimeters.
I have had the very same problem!!! I have learned to just NOT TALK to normal people. I just let my Autism go where it wants to take me, and that has NOT BEEN A MISTAKE. Trying to live in a normal world was almost impossible. I simply learned to quit talking to normal people. I learned to quit giving advice, because no one understood it. I stopped letting people give ME advice. Follow your Autism and let it take you where IT wants to take you. TRAINS HEAL AUTISM!!! Get on Google and type in "trains and autism". IT WILL BLOW YOU AWAY with what you find!!!
sorchaOtwo Thank you for posting this...I feel exactly the same way!
Identical in almost every way.
If you wish to, please feel free to give examples. I've been told it's quite cathartic and has become something of a method for me to deal with my own problems.
Did that, mum was upset. But I never got an explaination why I didn't fit.
I'm now old and leave behind a wasted life. My parents were told I was low functioning but they were to tight to do anything about it. But their real crime is not telling me and keeping me isolated. So I lived in a shed behind the house in the country. Then on the streets. Then in cars picking fruit and farm labouring for whatever wage I could be exploited for. There are 2 types of autism. Autism in the city where you have a chance of getting help. Autism in the right leaning rural vastness, where you make a good punching bag and target for abuse or are derided as a freak and a liability. and hide in shame. That is why I would like to thank you for helping people like me with things to watch and relate to. I get help now. People come and do things. Yes, Its 'paid' friendship, but I never even had that before. I live in an underground concrete room. Light, noise, and time cannot enter. It is lonely, but at least now it is a peaceful loneliness.
You dont have to be wasted, you can work with people like me.
Plz rread this and consider it long and well:
Im crazy and i can prove it: I use teh reportbutton of plattfo to hopefuly have a more healthy plattform one day. Crazy idea. Crazy. Everbody knows Inaction is King and has no negative assosiaction. But hey, what can i say, it just feels good to get a 20k N-zi-UA-camr removed, i speak from experience. But the craziest thing about all this is the rarity of it working. Oh, it absolutely can work, dont get me wrong, but its rare - but i legit came to believe that's for a lack of strength-in-numbers. Hence why i now spam this comment youre reading
Hope you’re good, Neil. May you be happy and well 💚🙏🏻💚
So sad that you had to go through all this. People can be cruel to those of us who are different. Still I'd rather be different than mainstream and cruel.
I hope things are looking up for you ❤
i dont want to waste more time, im rural east coast and support sux. i dont know where to go nor want to wait for the doc in waiting room whatsoever
@@penrar thankyou. Best wishes to you too
We don’t need to even try to meet other autistic people, we’ll naturally just find eachother throughout living our lives, at least that’s my experience. It’s nice to have friends that are ok with you being a little different:)
Been married for 50 years to Asperger'san diagnosed just 7yeats ago so,.. since I was naturally and quickly attracted does this mean I might be on Spectrum also??
I cannot hang out with judgmental people. I would way rather be alone.
It makes life sooooooooo impossible. To never have a group of friends that can read social cues or process empathy or understand true consequences of odd dysfunctional behaviors.
@@meman6964yeah obviously.
@@nataliaalfonso2662 No. Not obviously. I'm not attracted a lot too autistic people. I respect them and I like them if they are nice to me. But I don't have a real preference when it comes to neurotypical vs. neurodiverse people.
"If I can't tell where my body is in space..." That's exactly how I have described my experience to PTs, dance partners, and others over the years who have tried to help me become better coordinated. No one has ever understood or been able to relate.
Thanks for saying that! I was like, "how do I know if it's significantly different??" but your example helps me be like, "ah, yes, definitely." I have several specific scenarios gone awry to turn to haha.
It’s more like at 32 it’s still hard to operate a human body. The aliens living in here are still not acclimated to the environment 😬
Martial Arts helped me tremendously with this. Your mileage may very though
What are "side effects" of childhood vaccines? Every medical substance/drug has intended And "unintentional" impact. This has not been studied or has it? Neurological impact is real; autism, ADHD and more...
@@sandyspears7347 It has many times at this point. There incident rates of autism are the same in vaccinated and unvaccinated children. There is no evidence of vaccines causing or contributing to autism.
My heart goes out to everyone who can't get diagnosis if they really find it important for some reason. I wish to give acceptance, belonging and safety to everyone in that way.
Everything Paul mentioned applies to me, but I am already diagnosed.
I find that most neuro-typicals around me can't remember dates, cook, or read a map, while I can do all that fairly better than them.
People who don't know me well and other than work or while in the public, who don't know I have Autism usually label me as 'intense', 'eccentric', 'different', 'aloof', 'special', 'poker faced', 'rude', 'unapproachable', 'broken record', 'too literal', 'OCD", ''funny', 'with an attitude', 'with a male brain' (I am a woman), etc., and none of those are meant as compliments. Also, lots of name calling now when I am adult and especially when I was small. And people never miss to criticize my use of language (written and spoken). It is a bit different in my personal life, as people who know me like that can see my heart.
Also I get 'mysterious' and 'very interesting' a lot, these are compliments.
One thing that really bothers me is that they won't allow me to bring my cat to work.
Most Neurotypical can’t cook? I’m autistic and I find it very overwhelming, especially meals with more than 5 ingredients. I have to place everything on the counter and I get overwhelmed even when all the steps of the recipe is laid out.
@@taoist32 Most of neurotypicals around me, especially from work, not most of them in general and everywhere. I adore cooking & baking and am very good at it. My local library has a coffee place where you can buy food and coffee and all of their employees are Autistic, they cook amazing dishes, but are also fairy non verbal. Most of my friends with ADHD also say they can't cook as it is too overwhelming. The way how you described overwhelm and having to place everything on the counter describes how it is for me for lots of other things. And I do place everything on the counter when cooking and am very methodical and orderly in a way how I get it done. And my fridge is well organized and sorted out like a spreadsheet at all times.
@@ivanaamidzic I guess it really is different for every autistic person.
@Ivana your 'story' & mine are quite similar *high 5*
I can relate... I know all those words you mentioned only too well... I'm happy to leave my cat at home, I think she might be on the spectrum too...
If you looking for any way to treat any mental health related issue, I'll recommend magic mushrooms.
Treating mental health disorders Studies have shown that mushrooms can be effective in reducing symptoms of depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Golden teachers has been my go-to mushroom for months, it has helped in my recovery journey
I'm going through mushroom infusion therapy, and I can confirm that it does change your life.
medic_ario
𝕱𝖆𝖈𝖊𝖇𝖔𝖔𝖐
Stay strong, stay free... your post had me in tears. My son is 60 soon.. and we all know he "is special".. his memory for Historical data is phenomenal.. he can go to page, quote etc without a second thought, when we ask him of events or info.... i watch this beautiful kind intelligent man struggle in all the ways "that Autism is described. Relationships well deserved promotions , passed over, etc etc . How can i help him , i dont have a clue... but i will share this podcast info, if possible thank you for sharing.
He’s almost 60. You’re not supposed to be helping him anymore. He’s supposed to be taking care of you. You’re also supposed to already know he didn’t deserve those promotions over people who can function socially more easily, as data retention is not as necessary in work environments and people skills.
You can “help him” by lauding his decision to not have kids.
@@nataliaalfonso2662 omg this was such a blunt but very much needed response. parents really do set their special kids up for failure by babying them. what will they do when the parents are gone? waste away alone in a house that the IRS will come take away anyways, that's what.
I can help him!!!
@@nataliaalfonso2662 What ugly things to say.
@@flyinggnocchi not as ugly as pretending severe developmental neurological issues are okay. If my parents thought my heart conditions were okay and cool to have, they’d have been put in jail, right? What is this bizarre trend of acting that something indicative of extreme epigenetic stress is okay?
I was diagnosed with autism as a child.
You never grow out of being autistic.
Alot of people don’t know that I am autistic unless I tell them.
I can tell if others have autism though.
Last month, I meet a mom who had her autistic son with her.
She was very nice and I talked with her son.
She asked ‘ Why are you being so kind to him? ‘ than I answered ‘ because he is like me, we both have autism. ‘ and she was stunned that I knew he had autism.
That is good that you are helping others and I like to help the elderly but due to my RA I can't walk as well and worried about falling but I am praying to get better so I can help the elderly. I did provide help at the school while my kids were at school and help the kindergarten and first grade and second grade too.
@@homegown1234 it is amazing that even with RA, you find ways to help others.
@@cdarkheart83 - I am fortunate, that my fingers I can type but there are times just putting clothes on is hard for me. I just typed a letter to someone that I am worried about not having enough money but to get help from having a child that is autism. I believe Social Security can help those. Please pass that along especially for those caretakers.
How do i know if i have autism¿
@@ilqar887 ask your doctor about getting an autism diagnosis test done.
A lot of people who have autism have issues with loud noises, bright lights, and large crowds.
It took me 53 years to figure it out. I was told I was ADHD and Bipolar. Never quite ever able to fit in. I am very empathetic so I thought how could I be on the Spectrum. I bought into the whole “Rain Man “ stereotype that the media sells. I have always been puzzled at how no matter how nice or friendly I am there is always that person that literally hates my guts without any provocation. At work there are a few people that can’t stand me. I have learned how to not let it devastate me, but it still bugs me a bit. Most of the people that judge me on first sight are always people that I wouldn’t ever want anything to do with, but because they have rejected me I think I did something wrong.. It is crazy…
Yeah I get a ton of hate from ppl when I'm shopping, I almost dont shop of eat food now , getting pretty damn slim now
Now it makes me wonder.. I deal with the same issues. I'm very empathetic. But there are also people at work who cannot stand or hate me too. It's hurtful. I think I'm not bipolar/ADHD, but rather have some form of autism. My two friends who work in my company, who also happen to be autistic, I notice some similarities. I think I'm not full-autistic, but certainly on the spectrum. Thank you for your insight.
@@jennamorningstar9744 the most likely explanation is that they instinctively know that you are more intelligent and more genuine than they are.
Fk them!
The most likely explanation is that they instinctively know that you are more intelligent and more genuine than they are.
Fk them!
@@jennamorningstar9744usually it's psychopaths preying on "the weak", because they are extremely attuned at detecting our "schizoid body language and dsy dreaming eyes". And often times its normies misunderstanding our body language and thinking we are mocking them or trying to undermine them
I have both AUTISM and Adhd Sometimes I get overwhelmed and have meltdowns.
As do I
Thank you for being the only Autism UA-camr who I can listen to and look at without feeling stressed by a chaos of colours and lack of script structure. I can watch your videos to the end!
Unfortunately ppl in my “world” don’t understand my behavior luckily due to these vids i understand
One thing I really find helpful regarding emotional dysregulation is two things:
First, to learn about and regulate my nervous system (this blew me away when I learned about how much it drives a lot of internal turmoil);
Secondly, I got me a set of Emotional Regulation card deck originally created for people with BPD in DBT therapy (I don't have BPD, but find this tool so useful). I carry them with me and can go through them when feel overstimulated and nearing shutdown, which is especially unpleasant when it starts happening at work.
These cards have 4 groups:
Distress Tolerance Skills, Emotional Regulation Skills, Mindfulness Skills and Interpersonal Effectiveness Skills.
@@squelette0 You are welcome. Please do, if you have it in you. It is so helpful and empowering!
If you don't mind sharing, where'd you get the DBT card deck/what's it called?
@@zaboomafooba I don't mind at all. I tried posting it here a few times so far, but for some reason it is not visible.
The deck is called *The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Card Deck: 52 Practices to Balance Your Emotions Every Day* and it costs $25 (Canadian dollars).
thank you! I'll have to look into these. ADHD shares the trait of emotional dysregulation and God knows having CPTSD doesn't help.
@@ivanaamidzic Interesting. Off now to go look it up.
I was severely traumatized years ago as a teenage, got diagnosed with BPD. Spent my whole life fighting BPD. I suffered severe depression and mental disorder. Not until my wife recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. Never thought I would be saying this about mushrooms.
Hey mates! Can you help with the source? I suffer severe anxiety, panic and depression and I usually take prescription medicine, but they don't always help. Where can I find those psilocybin mushrooms? I'm really interested in treating my mental health without Rxs. I live in Australia don't know much about these. I'm so glad they helped you. I can't wait to get them too. Really need a reliable source 🙏
YES very sure of Dr.alishrooms. I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.
100% agree I used to have Psychosis and paranoid thoughts like "people thinking about me talking about me etc. Very odd behavior after getting off Adderall from 7-16. Antidepressants at 18-29. 31 now. I took way to much, but took about 20g of Gold caps (Psilocybin containing mushroom) I analyzed my entire life. The emotions that came out helped me understand behavior etc more. Wont ever need to do it again because I'm happy and contempt forever, but I wish more people did this to alter their perception of reality. Would help with healing much trauma
How do I reach out to him? Is he on insta
Yes he's Dr.alishrooms.Shrooms to me is a natrual healer. I know a guy who has used mushrooms in the same way and they have really helped him. mah dudes have safe trips all.
When you said “think of a vegetable”, what immediately popped into my head was “chard.”
Everything else resonated immensely.
Much of my family is on the spectrum but my mother refused when i was a kid to get me tested, even though the doctors recommended it.
I have someone I know who is a professional and has told me she suspects I am, but I can’t afford to pursue looking into a diagnosis, so I just fumble my way through coping mechanisms and learning to be easier on myself.
Interesting. What popped into my head was Kier Stammer.
chard! I love it, LOL
Turnip!
Omg so glad I’m not the only one, he said pick a RANDOM vegetable, not pick a vegetable!!!! Semantics, you can’t tap a neuro-divergent for a group answer and word it like that 😂😂😂
Broccoli. I don’t even like broccoli usually, except in soup with cheese.
I'm 62. I manage to muddle along OK so I don't know if there's any point to getting an "official" diagnosis but so much of this hits home. I've found "my tribe" in the larp community where so many seem to have an autistic or ADHD diagnosis. Hanging out with my fellow nerds is just so much more relaxing and they all understand when I need to step out to "catch up with myself" for a bit.
I feel I am more of a nerd than anything else and there is nothing wrong with that. what do you mean by "larp community?" Please inform me. The last time I joined the quilter' club I was not part of anyone there - there were the military wives or those born in Montgomery, AL -and I was not in any group at all. When I was going with a group to Birmingham on a road trip - I was automatically ignored. I felt so bad because I was part of 3 people. I ate my meal and try to join the conversation but they only spoke to each other and excluded me. I am not a joiner nor do I enjoy being ignored. When I got back from that trip - I never again went back to this Quilter's Club which meant nothing to me ever. So I rather do things by myself then to cope with self-entitled indivdiuals who lack compassion or empathy for others.
Sally, may I suggest something - I am 77, I still work so I can pay my bills and trying to finished paying all bills due to my mother's family that leaned on me I keep records by keeping a booklet each day of what I do and what I must take care of things for that day, week and even months. You see that is a way to maintain things I must remind myself. Plus, I have my bank pay my bills on time. There are just a few things I pay for myself. However, I take tests on the internet about various subjects, and it keeps my mind alert. What I would suggest to you and many others to be careful if you are given meds for anxiety or depression because one of those pills can cause "dementia." I do what I must to help me out. After all, I'm not a young person anymore. but much older. I hope what I suggest helps a lot. Also, don't use Aluminum pots or cookware - it is said, "it caused dementia too.
LARP stands for Life Action Role Play.
A little bit like D&D with Costumes and without dice.
Im your age and might follow your advice. Im in Australia . Just moved and scared to meet new people.
58 here... and yes, "we the nerds" (in all our various subcultures) are a great source of "like-minded" communities.
Dealing with change is a problem/hurdle/challenge. Having to adapt to self service tills! Each store seems to have a different version. People look at you like you're an idiot because you are slow or don't know how it works. Being rushed along by a disassociated voice ordering you to do things, place the item in the area, replace the item etc! We weren't asked, 'how do you feel about having the rug pulled from under your feet in this situation?' For me it's a mixture of despair and anger. The stores never asked, and don't cater for us.
Yup, in the early days of computer tech, there were way more standards for interfaces. Now every GUI is different, I guess in the name of “innovation.” The programs I use at work often move the interface around for no reason when they update. But my brain works by remembered location and muscle memory, and rearranging things is hard on me.
I don’t think I’m on the spectrum but I feel the same about self service tills~ horrible things, they always go wrong for me and I have to call for and wait for help~ what’s the point? It wasn’t designed to benefit customers, it was simply to save money for the supermarkets. This infuriates me.
I despise the disembodied voice of the self check out tills. It keeps telling me not to place things in the bag without scanning them when I have done no such thing!
I know exactly what you mean. More particularly for me, I get bamboozled by the typical parking fee payment regime at airports. At the pay station, I might try to put my credit card into the wrong slot or hold it up to a button, mistaking it for a scanner. At the exit of the parking lot, It can take me a couple of minutes to figure out how to use my ticket to lift the bar to let me out. On the last occasion, the driver of the car following stepped out of his car to show me where to put my ticket. But consider this; I am not autistic and am a qualified mechanical engineering technician with a ton of experience diagnosing industrial control system problems. I have also done lots of computer stuff including CAD and CNC. Spiky Skillset rings a bell here. I am retired now, and face a new challenge; my smartphone. Ahh... that meeting everybody went to. I missed it!
I like to be alone, but I also don't mind being social when I have to, but I prefer to be alone because most strangers are socially exhausting
I like how conscientious you seem to be and how you clearly articulate numerous points which may be challenging for a lot of people to verbalize.
1:10 "Meltdowns, shutdowns and withdrawals" are my middle names. 😂😂😂
I find one thing that helps me when I shutdown especially through a crisis - and that is to create. I create with my hands by drawing or sewing or even do crafts which I give away. It is a blessing to me when I had a miscarriage and read Genesis in the Bible that helped me feel I can create things so start sewing for my sister-in-law who was still pregnant while I was not. So it helped me feel good to create which is a big plus in my book. What I am trying to say do what you can do to comfort yourself as I did. It helped me a lot and I continue to create things for those I care about which I give away.
I am currently experiencing a withdrawal after a shutdown of a few days. I feel heard and seen right now. I also took 2 online tests (because why would I take only one), and it said that I show some traits/autistic traits slightly above the population average. I'm reading the comment section, and I can relate with suddenly bursting out laughing at what I was thinking, and I have a very active inner world. I have found my tribe.
A spiky skillset is very clear to me. I am constantly getting asked by others why I can’t do something well when I’m extremely skilled at something else.
Sounds like my dad, "How can you be sooo f***ing smart, yet have no common sense?" Took till age 42 to find the answer to that. It was like coming home.
@@NopeOnARope_ Oh my gosh, this exactly. right down to the age, 42.
This!!! It is very confusing for me! I am smart, but some of the things I do (or can’t do) are incredibly basically stupid!!! 😮😢
@@Pallasathena-hv4kp Awwww...hugs...not "stupid," just tougher to grasp due to the way your brain is wired. But yes, it is very confusing!
@@DriftlessWarrior thanks for the encouragement :)
The unusual associations is my bane. No one seems to understand me when I speak. Sometimes at work, they’ll listen, “disagree”, then go on a flowery, wordy path to make the same point I thought I made.
At age 69, I'm just now discovering that my ADHD diagnosis (at age 55) wasn't complete. I also resonate with most of the things mentioned here.
I've also done the "Meltdown, Shutdown, Withdrawal" thing my entire life.
I feel like this was a custom video made just for me.
This will be so helpful to send to family who don't understand what autism means.
Thank you, great video.
It's so great to see another of your videos, it's been a while. One of your videos was the first one that sent me down the rabbit hole of realizing I'm maybe autistic
I was told at work that "the nail that stands up gets hammered down" I was told by my managers I could not comment in meetings. Told by my ex to be seen and not heard. Told by my family I was embarrassing and eventually just not invited to family gatherings. It's so difficult to be surrounded by so many people and yet be so alone. Just to survive, I learnt to mimic people behaviour back to them, but it was exhausting. I literally wrote bits of conversation down so I could use them in situations I could predict, so I could control myself, but this was a form of dishonesty and I felt like I was being bad. It took it's toll on my mental and physical health leading to breakdowns and inability to cope with anything. I lost my career, marriage and almost took my life. I finally got an adult diagnosis of autism, I found it hard to accept. I found it hard to accept myself, but getting it was the first step in accepting who I really am. The society I live in is accepting of most types of diversity (race, religion and sexuality) but I have found it still is unfriendly and accommodating of nurodivergent people. The medical profession is the worst for this in my experience. There are aliens in this world, I'm one of them. Lol
I thought this was much more useful than the typical "10 signs you might be autistic" videos I've seen.
I really like the phrase "spiky skill set"! That really captures the idea, without the negative "obsession" connotation that so many other phrases have.
Thanks for including withdrawal in with meltdowns and shutdowns. For most of my life (I'm about to turn 60), withdrawal has been my go-to response. In the last few years, shutdowns and meltdowns have started to become more common. I hadn't thought to group them together, but now that you mention it, it makes a lot of sense.
Until this video, I would not have attributed my "unusual associations" or weird stream of consciousness segues with autism. I absolutely loved the "Connections" series with James Burke. He presented a series of things that superficially seemed unrelated, then tied them together.
Wow, regarding your third para...me too. I’m about to turn 63. I have always had a fearful avoidant disposition, and overactive fight or flight, but looking back on my life, a lot of my withdrawal was really just need for space. As healthy withdrawal got harder, I started melting down and shutting down more. Things have gotten really bad in recent years.
"And so, there you have it!" 😍👍 For various health reasons I now no longer watch TV, but back in the day very much enjoyed "Connections".
Thanks for posting something like this. I was late-diagnoseed (Age 50) and it was videos like this one that helped me gain the confidence I needed to talk to my doctor about it. Hopefully this helps a LOT of people!
Whilst I think I might be on the spectrum, as a former teacher I can tell you that it IS an explosion of autism spectrum 'disorders' that we are witnessing. This is from my FIRST HAND experience of observing child behaviour over the past thirty years.
I have watched at least a few of your videos. I seem to exhibit most of the traits listed here. In 4th grade, my teacher had me see the school psychologist. He said I was just different. This was about 1982. Its not about a label, but to understand how my mind works. And it is teaching me to be patient, and not blurt out a question when my husband is telling me a story. I also see how my siblings exhibit many of these symptoms as well. Thank you for what you do!
I was in primary school in the 1970s, when no one had a clue. Grades four through six were awful. I was very good at academics, terrible at sports, and had poor social skills. Bullied by peers and teachers. In high school in a different state, I was identified as gifted.
I was bullied as well. Similar to you, but academically I only excelled in areas of interest, especially math. I was almost always the last one chosen for a team in gym class.
Thank you! I’m am someone who’s found out late in life that I’m autistic and it explains so much! I haven’t been telling anyone though because I don’t think they’d understand. I think, like me, they think it’s like the stereotypes. I think the info you provide would help a lot for people to understand better and allow me to settle more into myself.
The last part about meeting other autistics really speaks to me. I recently started going to a local speaking group for autistics and it really showed me how autistic I am, if I can say so 😅 Everyone is still completely different but at the same time it's nothing like spending time with neurotypicals. It helped me realize so how much about myself. Finding community is awesome ❤
I wish I could find community in person like I can online.
So basically, you utterly identity with nothing but a false diagnosis and compete with others with this designer label diagnosis to present as more autistic than them? Time to grow up.
@@KelliDBH Try going to a gaming convention. I suspect about 2/3 of the people I meet there are autistic.
I'm actually awaiting my diagnosis for Autism. All of those points resonated so strongly with me. I found this video highly insightful. Thank you good sir.
3:11 I HAVE NEVER FELT SO UNDERTOOD MY WHOLE LIFE
Your voice is very soothing to my hears. Thank you for this video!
Are you also mad that over 1000 people have disliked this great insightful video about the autism spectrum?
@@sirbughunter I don’t know how you managed to draw that conclusion from my comment but I am totally fine with people disliking a video on the internet. People have different opinions and they don’t have to agree with each other all the time. It happens. Hope this helps?
@@errrrrrr- The problem is that the algorithm will think the video is bad or something just because some people can't accept the raw truth. This is not about an opinion whether apples or oranges taste better. This is about hard truths which affect many autistic people, like me. So I am disgusted by people downvoting this. I just wanted to vent here. Your comment reminded me of venting about this, because you praised the video and the guy's voice :=P
Thank you for making these signs exquisitely easy to understand. Your examples helped tremendously. I have to laugh at the “different/differently” because i often entertain myself with nonsensical repetition. My BFF teaches at a school with many autistic children. She pegged me as “leaning autistic.” I also had to laugh when you talked about the new digital menu systems. I taught database internal logic to systems programmers but can’t even think about attempting that “restaurant” method! Another example in that same vein, i have no problem with complicated mathematical computations, yet panic if asked to split menu expenses. I’m sending this video to the rest of my family and to my BFF. Thank you for doing this. I’m looking forward to seeing your other videos. Serendipitously finding you, is a gift. I wish you continued success in your endeavors.
I don't know if I am autistic or have ADD or if it's all part of being INFP-T.
I just wonder why I'm 54 years old and still can't function as a normal adult.
Everything is difficult or scary and overwhelms me.
❤
A lot of this just strikes me as introverted intuition, and whatever flavor it comes in. American culture is extroverted and sensory in an almost perverted way, to the point many extroverts mistake themselves for introverts. Real introverts are demonized as potential school-sh**ters, and parents and teachers will do unbelievably nasty things to force children to extrovert.
This entire system so abusive that normal introverted intuitives end up traumatized, and they get some BS late diagnosis after a lifetime of abuse. Getting pathologized is still more acceptable than being considered introverted. It is legal to discriminate against introverts in America. You couldn't do that in, let's say, Finland, or in Australia.
How much time do you spend worrying about what other people think of you rather than just getting on and living life that best suits you
I am learning just to enjoy myself and hang around with people who also don't care. Being 50+ is awesome. I hang out hours every day with nudists - we have all reached the point where we don't care about appearances and learned to just accept anything, and be accepted - best thing that happened in my life.
Good news....you are normal for you! I recently decided it was ok to be exactly how I am. So much happier.😂
One of the best parts of my autistic son’s behaviors is his honesty. He is very open with telling people about his diagnosis as are we as a family, so friends and family all know. Seriously so awesome when we have family over and he will say, “you have been here for three hours, when are you leaving?” We all want to say the same thing but we would be rude. He says it and everyone laughs (but it still gets our guests to start heading out the door!!)
My husband has aspergers and now accepts it. He is 75. He's always saying to visitors "it's time you went home as it's time for my nana nap" and then promptly goes to the bedroom. Some don't know how to take him! It can be quite embarrassing but I'm used to it after 51 years of marriage. It has not been easy and we've had some troubled years but he's been a good provider and has provided security for me. Words of love don't come easily to him but he has mellowed with the years.
Love the idea of that additional characteristic! Amusing oneself with things that others don't find amusing! Please add that! It's real!
I started to cry after the first 2 minutes because it really hurt to hear the things you said and applying it all on myself. Like I somehow got reminded of how much I actually do work every day to come across as a pleasant person and such… I got diagnosed a few years ago as a grownup. I think this video was really good and insightful so thank you so much for making this.
I think I can relate, as the first few minutes of this got to me as well, actually much of the video to be quite honest. And while I've been diagnosed for about 10 years, it's not quite like--as a very surface-level analogy--having a missing limb or something very evidently a physical incapcitation that you and everybody else around immediately recognizes and responds to, it's that there's a constant and seemingly invisible struggle to understand many/most instances of interactions and other people's full intentions as well. At least for me. I also have an anxiety disorder, so there's some fuel on the fire, I suppose lol. But in all seriousness, it's very difficult to navigate through social circles.
I used to lock myself in my room and ask my family to not disturb be for 6 hours no matter what, unless there's a major emergency
Congratulations on being a typical teen and/or young adult.
@@Kube_Dog I guess lol
@@shanchahua Yeah, it doesn't mean you're autistic, artistic, simplistic, holistic, nihilistic or trans. The world is truly crazy, like an angry female. Ignore media.
me too around puberty
@@Kube_Dog except that I wasn't at all typical. This happened in the 1970s in a communist country, where no other kid my age ever behaved this way
"This is me" I live in the UK, and I looks like you made this video about me. I am 55 and I have gone through my life not quite being able to put a finger on what it was that was making me feel how I feel. I have mentioned this to management where I work and sent them links to this video. Tuesday, I have got an Ocupational Heath Review at work around autism with the view of getting a test. I am 100% sure it's autism thank you very much.
This is the best explanation of the various aspects of Autism bordering on ADHD I have ever heard by far.
or having both 😊
I’m not diagnosed by a professional, and have been corroborating my self-discovery through the past few years through a lot of reading articles and books and watching videos from autistic creators. Every time I start to doubt myself and my internal struggles and external behaviors to disclose myself as autistic in my daily life, somehow another video gets uploaded, which consistently include yours, and it always re-affirms my gut feeling that yeah, I am a bit different and this is why.
Maybe at some point I’ll stop needing external validation but I think second-guessing my experience as real comes with the territory. 😂 throughout it all, thanks Paul for being you and creating this content and helping me find a space where I can build my own trust in my intuition and confidently say “oh yeah, I relate to that”.
Yeah I am the same. I actually have started asking people if they think I am over the past couple of years but get varying inconclusive answers from why does it even matter to everyone is on the spectrum on some form or other lol.
I can relate to almost everything. When I was a child, I sometimes said things that would upset people, which I couldn’t understand why (I later on learned that either they didn’t like the truth or the way I worded things made them think I was trying to insult them or show superiority). As a result, I started avoiding social interaction. Now, as an adult, I still struggle to socialize but have learned to choose my words more carefully.
I'm 55 years old, never diagnosed on the spectrum, but this certainly explains a lot.
Thank you for posting this.
I found this very useful. My husband is undiagnosed autistic and currently waiting for an appointment but services are concentrated on children so the waiting list is long. I recognise traits in myself but some are opposite to my husband. He externalises his meltdowns whereas I internalise mine and withdraw. This is something I have done since childhood. In fact, I remember my Mum calling the Doctor out several times because I was lying in my bed just staring into space not eating or wanting to engage with anything. I can still remember it. I think my bed was my safe place. The only place I felt I truly fitted in has been my family. Everywhere else I feel like an oddball. Thank you for this video ❤
YES,YES,YES. System ignores adults who don't have major impairment. Turns out system is badly underfunded so adults a deemed "to have survived so far so they don't need help". Couldn't even get an appointment, so you did well just to get on the waiting list.
Very helpful. I've been wondering about someone in my life and this fit very well. I also like the parallels with ADHD. I have ADHD, and when asked to pick a random "whatever" I deliberately look for the obscure choice, partly for the intrigue it adds to the conversation and partly to disrupt whatever preconceptions they might have (like when magicians try to use the "blue" or "carrot" assumption to their advantage.)
Hello, my friend! Although you are unaware of it, it has been a while! Good to see you! Wow! You really have your presentation nailed! You are so natural in front of the camera! Your channel has come a long way! Great job! You represent our community well. Thank you! Take care!😀
I was 1st chair cellist for 4 years (before I moved). I had learned to play by ear and he didn't realize for a year. I tried playing later on and realized that I didn't have a drive to do it on my own. Having that teacher work with me and give me something to put my energy into helped me able to stay / survive school.
I know I need this information. Please keep up the good work.
my sweet mom still refuses to accept i have autism and adhd, keeps saying instead that i'm simply a genius and that all genius people are quirky like me lol
Yay, I got 7/7 (8/8 if you include the last one) - I was over 60 when I realised it, a few years back, and it would have been SO much easier for me if I'd known from an early age.
My family carries it genetically from my mother's side. My son was diagnosed young, at 2. I was diagnosed as an adult and have an epilepsy linkage. Half of my nephews are on the spectrum. My cousin, aunt, and grandfather as well. I'm glad there is more acceptance and support now. I mask well enough that no one would guess in a professional or social setting.
Thank you for putting out this first hand info. I can totally relate, 900%. Years ago, I used to be involved with adult autistic groups. But they were filled with angry NT mothers that had autistic sons, and that's where the conversations always went. Even the people that ran a lot of these groups were not autistic, but were also angry NT moms of autistic sons. I appreciate this very accurate info. It may not help the assuming NT mind to really understand and accept us just the way we are, but at least it helps us know that we are not alone. That someone does understand. I gave up on groups a long time ago. It's nice to find your channel though 🧡
Finally, someone that can understand me with the restaurants and their QR code menus and everything related with QR code process
They had to print out the paper with the qr code anyway...
Why not just print out the menu then?!
Thank you for another great listen with lots of recognition!!
I was quite troubled the other day when I saw several reports on "how to cure autism" ("autism was not around 100 years ago and is caused by ....") I don't remember if it was lack of magnesium, too little vitamins, high environmental impact or something else but it was saddening to see people still thinking it is something that needs to be cured and that means people on the spectrum have deficiencies - instead of brains wired differently.
The irony is that many of the greatest and most creative achievements in human history were made by autistic people precisely because we think differently. Without that we probably wouldn't have a computerized global communications network on which to post such opinions. Heck, we probably wouldn't have invented invented fire, stone tools, or bows and arrows.
I definitely resonate strongly with most of these points. I'm not diagnosed, and had been shamed, and conditioned from youth to hide my eccentricities. So being around autistic people who embrace their differences is stressful in it's own way.
Hold up... I never knew withdrawal is in the same category as meltdowns and might even "replace" them in a sense.
I am self-diagnosed, and the one reason I still have impostor syndrome about it is how rarely I have meltdowns, or how much I can control myself to not have them in public. If I'm alone, I would let myself "overreact" and scream or cry when little frustrations build up, but I can mask and hold back from doing that in public. But, I feel like I'm in a constant state of overwhelm or burnout from life, and my reponse is withdrawing and letting go of social interactions so I can save energy and keep doing the bare minimum of personal hygiene and commute and enough work to keep my job and minimal family obligations. But I never, ever have the energy to keep in contact with friends or old acquaintances. I kind of thought of it as a sign of burnout, but never saw it as similar to meltdowns. Now I feel like I was enlightened. Wonder if the diagnostic criteria are updated with this though, if my presentation could be professionally recognized.