Growing up illegally gay - Four life stories | 'I am...' short film
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- Опубліковано 3 сер 2024
- What was it like growing up being illegally gay? Before 1967, homosexuality was illegal in the United Kingdom. Through the decades, thousands of gay men were prosecuted for consensual homosexual acts.
This film tells the incredible stories of four elderly gay men who lived through this time. We hear about their double lives, heartbreaks, being arrested, coming out, losing friends to suicide and what they would say to their younger selves.
As a gay man in my mid-20s, I wanted to explore what life was like before my time. How my older gay brothers and sisters struggled to exist in a world that saw them as disgusting deviants and perverts. I believe their persecution and injustices should be remembered and respected. It was these people who paved the way for us to be out, open and free today.
This short film premiered at Buffer Festival, Toronto 2017 to mark 50 years since the partial decriminalisation of homosexual acts in the UK.
Made with a support of Opening Doors London - openingdoorslondon.org.uk/
Assistant Producer - Padraig Prendergast: / prendergast
Director of Photography/Edited by - Mandy Celine: mandyceline?igs...
Camera Operators:
Chris Fox: / thisisfoxx
Alex J. Brinnand: / ajbrinnand
Follow me:
INSTAGRAM: / riyadhk
TWITTER: / riyadhk
FACEBOOK: / riyadhkofficial
Mailing address:
FAO: Riyadh Khalaf, United Agents, 12-26 Lexington Street, London W1F 0LE
Music from Epidemic Sound
homosexuality hasn't increased..
Media has increased.
Openness and acceptance has increased...
Gay nature has existed since the dawn of time...
The song remains the same
exactly. it's just another form of love.
100%
Also population has increased so of course there’d be more homosexual people, there are more heterosexual people too
I am in the middle of the video right now and I am in tears. I still have to hide because of the laws here in my country. I got bullied so hard I had to move schools. I didn't tell my parents why I wanted to move I just told them I was unhappy. I went to church yesterday, and people were throwing rocks at a man and screaming "Gay, you are a gay man" and I don't want that to happen to me. Or anyone at all.
Sweetheart, we love you and God is here to protect you. Just keep on being you!
I'm thinking of you!
Stay strong, my friend. You don't need to come out to anyone, just accept and protect yourself. Try not to internalize the hatred you see and hear around you. You are enough and you are loved!
Keno Badogomba I'm so sorry
Keno Badogomba it will be okay! Stay strong ❤️
EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER
Melanie Murphy Love your channel!!!!
Melanie Murphy This is exactly that. You just are following this narrated documentary from these brave men so intensely. Fantastic point of view. It's like the same rhetoric repeating itself. We should support each other in fulfilling a happy life.
What hurts me the most in this video was hearing the line "why can't i be normal?" When the truth was that there was nothing wrong with them, they are still human who just fell in love with the same sex as them.
One of the problems, I think, is that "normal" gay men have been supplanted in the media by the flamboyant, the outrageous, in your face queen, like Alan Carr, mincing, limp-wristed effeminate.
This was the most difficult but also mosr rewarding piece of content I've made. Meeting these men and learning about their lives will stay with me forever. I hope you take something from this and pass it on! Let's not let LGBT+ history be forgotten x
Riyadh K great work! ❤️
Riyadh K The moment of Truth, simply being honest with yourself. Yep I am gay.
Was beautiful! Well done!
Awesome video Riyadh!!! I truly enjoyed watching this amazing stories! Greetings from Oklahoma City...
Riyadh K no one was out
"What was his name?" - that was such a small beautiful gesture, dude is amazing at interviewing... or even just conversation, really.
I mean, why would he be homophobic in a video like this?
Dimentive What? So not going this extra step to ask for his name would immediately make him homophobic? I think you didn't really understand my comment.
and don't forget - being gay is still criminalised and even punishable by death in so many countries still. we have come so far in the western world, but globally have so far to go.
thankyou for this film, it's so interesting yet saddening to hear personal stories
sadly the regressive left dont wanna admit that
@L'Ephebe93 why are they so manipulable then
alberto gonzález huh
@@aubreywilliam9048 what
@L'Ephebe93 and now you're stuck with Bolsonaro.... ugh...
Finding the broken pieces from the LGBT history, there are dark and scary moment, but we believed in us to bring us to the surface.
It's so important for our history to be remembered and to be told
As a baby gay, seeing these adult gay men living, thriving, and existing is so inspiring. There have been times where I've been 100% sure my sexuality will get me killed but this gives me hope
The first minute of this made my chest hurt. As a bisexual teen who is yet to come out, I know a lot of the world is so full of love, but I also know that there is hate. These people are so brave. I hope I can be brave and come out soon too. ❤️❤️
Panic! At The Pentatonix as they said, it only gets easier, there is an initial shock where you notice everyone will percieve you differently, but your niche is your niche, rock it!
Daniel Binsted thank you very much, that means a lot ❤️
Come out when you feel ready for it. I’m bisexual and out and my experience was very positive and accepting from everyone! We are lucky to live in a time when people accepted different views of sexuality. Living out of the closet will define you, who you really are!
Vladimir Gochevski I hope so for me too, thank you very much ❤️
your name is great 😂
Meeting these men taught me a lot and gave me a whole lot more to think about. Honoured to be a part of this film.
Thanks for contributing to the making of this - really powerful stuff!
we've come so far in the intervening decades, yet we've still got so far to go.
waterfieldV aye to that
Absolutely agree
Riyadh K thanks I am humbled by your kind words.
It’s gonna be hard be we will make it
you can take the man out of the cave but...
I'd like to also shine a light on the fact that just last week 6 people were arrested in Egypt for waving a pride flag
literal alien so sad that this is still happening all around the world
Muslim countries are pretty much homophobic
muslim countries are totally homophobic :s
:’( im gonna cry
ask the govt , why allah promised 72 virgins and 300 pearl like boys in heaven
Ok I'm not gay but I am bawling crying this is so moving I can't imagine how hard it was for these amazing amazing brave men . ❤️❤️❤️
Seriously, babe, Best video you have made to date. Really got to me
Thank you darlin. Means a lot that you liked it xx
Hehe, not to intrude by Hi roly
Roly omf yaaas Roly 🌈🌈🌈
ily
This was incredible.
thank you
Of all the crap I've had to deal with through adolescence, and even now, it has nothing on this. He was right when he said "you have no idea how lucky you are". I'm *SO* glad that we get to carry the torch after the older generations have paved the way for us, and that torch sure as hell will never go out.
In Taiwan, the Christian community just crushed the first LGBT marriage law in Asia. Many struggles still ahead.
It got better in the end for you guys in Taiwan. Let's hope our brothers and sisters on the mainland will one day enjoy the same freedoms as you in Taiwan. Peace for ever!
Thank you for being the voice the world needs.
As an Australian who is currently seeing a lot of hate on a daily basis from the anti gay side due to the current marriage survey.
Thank you! I can’t thank you enough for putting love out into the world.
Well Done Riyadh! It is so incredible to look back and see how much societies views on homosexuality have changed from when it was still illegal compared to now! There is still a fair amount of homophobia today, but it is evident that views don't last forever and that they can be changed. It goes to show that the world is becoming a much more welcoming and accepting environment!
as someone who lives in a country where it it is punishable by death to be gay, this really hit home and now im crying lol
And I feel so incredibly lucky to live in the UK, today one of the best countries in the world to be gay. Every country in the world will follow eventually, I'm so sorry yours isn't there yet.
You should check out what is happening at the moment in Egypt. Everything you mentioned in the beginning of the video is what is happening now.
Random Egyptian True, sadly outside the western world not a lot of countries accept homosexuality
Random Egyptian: I'm sorry to read all that. I red a few lines about it while signing online petitions against it but I did not know that in details.
I wish you'll be able to go elsewhere in order to work or study. If you think acceptance is really far away in your country I guess it's the only option. You can go back in Egypt often to keep in touch with your family or even do the opposite by being in Egypt and going on holiday abroad quite frequently to be yourself there.
Many good wishes to you and don't forget they're all on the bad side of history. :*
We as a community must remember that the LGBTQ Freedoms that we currently are able to have were not given. We have to remember those that came before and fought for our abilities to be ourselves. This short film moved me beyond words. Thank you Riyadh. These stories need to be heard and celebrated. There is a quote that I always try to live by "how are you knowing where you are going if you forget where you have been!"
These men are an inspiration
Couldn't agree more
my dad came out almost a year ago today. i came out as pansexual this summer. my dad was born in 1959 and married my mom in the 80's. she knew the whole time, and i had a hunch for most of my life. i am grateful for my dad living in the closet for so long because it gave me my life, but it also protected him from the height of the AIDS crisis in the US. this year has been hard as shit, but listening to these men's stories makes me so grateful for living when i do. thanks riyadh!
This is heartbreaking. Great work. We still have a long way to go 🙏🏻
Gay marriage was legalized three years ago...
Let that sink in...
This is the most amazing thing I've ever watched. Thank you for opening people's eyes to the struggles that others don't even realise. This is so inspiring💛
Astonishing and touching. Amazing how honest, gentle conversation can shed light on so much hurt. Great film.
I have never watched any of your videos before and don't know your channel at all but I loved the way you did the interview. I think you had a very calm, respectful and caring way of asking the men, of resonating with their emotions and reacting to their answers. Thank you!
This was wonderful and well done. You should do one of these for bisexuals, lesbians, transgenders, too. Even living in modern times, I have had those thoughts of wanting to be normal, hating myself, fearing judgement because my family is very religious. It's been very emotionally damaging. I'm a bisexual woman. I can't even imagine being these people from that time period when it feels hard now, let alone in those days when it was viewed as an illness....
Also, the guy who didn't feel guilty that he was married for 27 years kind of upset me... I completely ubderstand his side and him hiding and the fear... but he wasted 27 years of his wife's life, having her believe she found the one. Kind of sad for her to then have to start over after 27 years...That's a long time.
11 11 Lesbians were hardly discriminated against in the past. They simply were NOT targeted by homophobic laws and violence like gay men were.
Mary G That's not entirely true. Men definitely had it worse in a way, but that's because women were mostly ignored in general in those times, so lesbians weren't taken seriously. But the ones who were taken seriously have their own stories.
@@marys6887 thats because women weren't seen as people in general
Was in tears by the end these guys were treated horribly
Now THIS is what you use this platform for! Thank you from the bottom of my heart. This is a beautiful labour of love and preoccupation. Is is so strange to imagine our future old gay selves. We have so much problems of our own generation but this reminds us to not take anything for granted and be alert and remember history.
Thank you for making videos like these. I nearly cry upon hearing what the people interviewed went through in the past. The emotional peak is looking at the picture & give advice to younger YOU many decades ago. I think I'm gonna do this.
Thank you, Riyadh. This was an excellent piece of work. I really enjoyed it. I wish I appreciated older people's stories and history more as a kid. We owe a lot to these guys and the generations before us. Keep up the good work for change.
Fabulous piece of work, I take my hat off to you for producing this.
I was born in the 60s, came out in the late 70s when it was still quite difficult to be gay openly but looking back, those torments and difficulties made me who I am today; a confident gay man, open about who and what I am. I can identify with much of what has been said here and hope that more younger gay men will watch this and realise it hasn't always been so easy to say "I am what I am"
Riyadh that was a fabulous video. I went through every emotion watching and it really touched my heart. Great job and my best regards to all the gentlemen you featured for telling their stories.
Thank you so much
What a wonderful short. Very touching and _VERY_ important. So many younger gay men have no idea of their history and what those that came before us went through. And that is important to know. Thanks for making yet another great video.
Magnetic, inspiring, heartfelt and real! Thank you so much for shining a light on this. You are amazing! xxxx
I’m only 2 minutes in and my heart already feels like it’s been pulled upside down and inside out. It hurts so much. This is really important work you’re doing here Riyadh. UA-cam should be honored to have this kind of quality content available on their platform.
SOOO Beautiful & eye-opening. THANK YOU Riyadh for making this. You're a true inspiration and icon. If society was still the same, there's no way I would have the courage to come out. So grateful we've gotten this far, and it'll only go up from here :) xo
it may have been difficult but your personality is absolutely perfect to perform these interviews. well done.
What a awesome film Riyadh. Man you sure where tugging at the heart strings... Especially towards the end. Beautiful.
Wow this is amazing 🔥 I've watched it about 5 times today. Keep up the great work! I found you today and have been binge watching your videos! ❤️
What a wonderful little documentary/collection of interviews! We never lived in a better time now, but there is still a lot to change - not just for homosexuals, but for so many other groups out there.
Got the pleasure of meeting you and one of the gents in the film. Honestly so humble and kind
What a beautiful video, those men are so brave for sharing their stories. Thank you so much for giving them a platform to show us the struggle the generations before us had to go through. Love is love. ❤️
I am glad I found this from you Riyadh. I have watched a lot of your "evolution" as it were. And this is the culmination of a very bright man really showing his proverbial chops.
I know this is nearly two years old now but you have done so many great things for so many people on this platform. And I thank you -- truly.
Just breathtaking. Thank you Riyadh. Sad yet uplifting. Keep up the creative and heartfelt content. You are a very special young man. Love from a very proud mum of a gay son. Xx
My father was gay, born 1949 and grew up believing there was something wrong with him. He wanted to be 'normal' so badly, after he served in Vietnam he married my mother. But my father cheated on my mother and she got a phone call from the police that my father was arrested for being with another man in public...she didn't leave him but they went to marriage counseling for three years until they divorced. I remember after we found out that he was actually gay, all I remember was all the crying I did as my father begged for my forgiveness. Even though I told him I didn't care he was gay, I loved him, and that I am proud he was my father as well as lucky. He started drinking heavily and lived the rest of his life in deep depression. I miss him everyday. I remember the things he told me about the shame he had and I still cry from time to time hearing other gay men's stories of their pain. I tell this to you, reading this, because there are those who still believe being gay is a choice........I'm here to tell you, it is not a choice. No one chooses the pain, sorrow, and shame I saw in my father's eyes.
the interviewer was so kind and so expertly leaded the fellas down wonderful pathways of stories that were sensitive and enjoyable to them....and still shared the human story. Thank you.
I just finished it and amazing job thank you so much for making this I really needed it
Watched this during your screening at Buffer Festival. Was crying then, still crying now. I am so proud of you for making this and I bet all the men in this video are proud of you too for sharing their stories. And I feel honored to have watched this along side Alan in the audience :")
You did a very polished job as an interviewer/presenter. Excellent questions with a sincere sense of empathy with your guests.
Omg this is so beautiful and moving, thank you very much for this film and thank them for opening up to help gay youth appreciate more what they have that elder didn’t 💛💛💛
Thank you for making this beautiful, honest and poignant film... It is a true piece of art and a reflection on our collective history that should never be forgotten.
Amazing film/interview. Emotionally moving and profound. Your interview style - perfect. Gratitude!
This is incredible. I love how professional the editing is and how well it captures each man's story. Very emotional, thank you for doing this Riyadh
From one irish to another - fair play. This is so touching! Well done. Sending you lots of love x
Am watching this at 4am with tears in my eyes. I cannot be more grateful that I live in place and time where I can be purely me. This video has made me love myself even more, thank you for that! One love always xo
I got to know you yesterday 22-06-2019 in The Guardian. The story about your Dad, your Mum and you. I find your work inspiring. Thank you very much.
Your videos/ documentaries are always so interesting, informative and touching. Great work! 🖒💗
Wow, Riyadh... you hit me. I usualy don't drop a single tear, even on the biggest dramas... but this... wow, the tears kept rolling even minutes after I finished the video. Awesome!
That was simply AMAZING! Those are the stories that give us hope, that give us love and inspire us to keep moving forward. This also gives people that don't believe it gets better that it truly does. You are absolutely awesome in your reporting, you compassion, your authenticity, and those traits are admirable. I live in the states and I wish you would have a weekly talk show or docudrama series. There are tons that would watch, I stumbled onto your channel only maybe a month a go and have binged on tons of your shows. Please, continue to be you 😁, I wish you nothing but success!
Very powerful, well done to all those who helped bring this together. You bought me to tears, not an easy challenge.
Wow, this was incredible, it made me tear up. I love you Riyadh! You're such a brilliant host/filmmaker and I can't wait to see other stuff you do.
Absolutely fantastic interview(s)!
Bravo, excellent video. Excellently filmed, scripted and sensitively interviewed. This is one the best videos I have ever seen.
Wow! this is a great production that you have done and to see how things were in the past and still the work that needs to be done. Thank you
im bawling omg, but this was such a heart breaking, eye opening and over all amazing video i love this sm!
This is so incredibly amazing! That's why I love you and your channel so much Riyadh. You don't upload very frequently like other youtubers but all of your videos are truly in high-quality and educational~
so so great Riyadh! Thank you and your team for your wonderful work! xx
Please do more. I was so lucky to have older gay men and women tell me their stories when I was still young. It helped me with my struggles.
so emotional right now. content like this is so important and I'm so happy people like you decide to get it out there.
I cried so hard!😭😭 This video touched my heart! 💗 Thank you for this wonderful video Riyadh!
Beautiful! I love you, Riyadh. Your compassion always shines through the screen, and you help illuminate the lives of people who have been shoved into the darkness.
Thanks so much for this Riyadh. This was a rollercoaster of emotions
This is so moving and incredibly well put together. Thank you for sharing these men's stories.
I love you Riyadh ! You are an amazing young man with a fantastic personality ! Thank you for this beautiful video! You really made the men comfortable by the way you talked with them and managed to make them open their hearts to all of us.
I could have watch a full 2 hour documentary! Laughed, Yelled, Cried! This is beautiful 💕💕
This made me laugh and cry at the same time... These men are so inspiring and I feel truly sorry for anybody who can't be who he or she is (no matter in what context) ... Great movie!! ❤
wow riyadh ... thank you so much for this episode... thanks!
Riyadh K This is such a beautiful and remarkable piece of film. You have a wonderful talent. I love watching your regular UA-cam videos, but watching something like this with real meaning and serious effort behind it truly showcases your abilities. It was a wonderfully touching film. I can not wait to see more from you.
This was inspiring and emotional throughout. It's sad to hear on the difficulties and persecutions throughout just because on who they are and who they love which is stupid but it was very brave of them to talk about the scars they have, proven that they have made it to this day. It shows that LGBTQ rights have come from a long way and even if it was harder back then and no matter how difficult it can be now, we can only remain strong as a loving community for love and acceptance. I wish them guys the best :)
Riyadh, I just want to say I love everything you do. Your projects are so important and your positivity is so contagious. Thank you ❤
So beautiful and emotional...
Congrats for making this short film! :)
love you riyadh, thank you for using your platform to elevate these voices💗
Riyadh, this was brilliant. It made me feel old once I realized that the youngest of these guys was only 12 years older than me! Having said that I can relate to a lot of what they said. Well done. Fantastic content.
Riyadh! This had me in tears but this was amazing! I am so glad that something has gone right in this horrific world recently. I know the acceptance isn’t 100% from everybody but we will in time! Real eye opener and I am so glad and proud that you made this! 💕💕💕
Wow, just wow. Riyadh, I am stunned. This is an amazing film. Your interviews with these men are so emotional and touching, and they provide a much needed look back into the history of gay people and what we have had to fight and overcome; and just how strong and resilient one had to be to make it back then. We must never forget where we have come from. Fantastic job, Riyadh!
Mad respect! For you and all these guys! I would have hated to grow up in those times, yeah it can be difficult now for us but jeeesh that seemed so unfair and unnatural for them!
The first UA-cam video to actually make me tear up, well done great video!
xoxo
This was amazing, thank you for all the work you do to educate the world about these issues
Good job!! Really interesting to listen to these stories.
Brilliantly shot. I thought it was excellent. Well done, Riyadh. And well done to those four brave men... like many others in bygones past.
Thank you for sharing. These are our stories. These people are our family. ...and we are many.
This is a fantastic series, and very blunt both in words and visuals. Just think about the topic and the numerous potential triggers should become obvious.
It hit quite a few- 3 enormous- for me, but it was worth it.
Younger people really need to see this to put somethings into perspective, but to also show what might come to be the norm again, should the zealots get their way....
Just because we have rights does not mean that they can't be messed with.
Thank you, Ryadh. Your work continues to be wonderful, impactful and needed. 👍👍
I am in tears. Thank you for doing this❤️
I loved seeing this on the big screen and I already miss you
Arielle Scarcella u should do another collaboration
You are so kind for coming to the screeing. Much love! x
Yeah
Thanks for sharing,very touching
This is so emotional I cannot. Great work, really. I'm super proud of you! xx