“Solitude is dangerous. It’s very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realize how peaceful and calm it is. It’s like you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy.” - Jim Carrey
@@CuteThingslike Because society wants us to breed, dear boy. After all, humans are the most lucrative form of capital and if men are choosing solitude, who will be there to help provide for the future elderly?!
I got past loneliness. I prefer to be alone. Most people aren't worth being around. "It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." - George Washington
@@berthomahendra1146 I have a lot of hobbies I enjoy. I don't get bored. Maybe one day I'll end up missing people, but it hasn't happened yet and I've been like this for years. I don't like being around other people. Yes, I have to do it, but I don't really enjoy it and I can't wait until I can be alone again. People really bother me anymore. I really prefer to be alone.
@@berthomahendra1146 Fishing, reading, wood carving, building and painting Warhammer 40k models, collecting and watching old horror/scifi and kung fu movies, making and throwing shuriken. All stuff that's fun to do alone.
Dude. The reason your adult kids will soon no-longer rely on you is because you have done an excellent job as a father! Hold on to that, it's a precious and increasingly rare thing these days. Top man.
I actually 100% agree with this, but I have to add a caveat. Technically, were tribes people, and we should be living in tight communities.. The advent of hyper individualistic people is only a VERY new thing brought on by post industrial society, only for the most rich and privileged. Large amounts of people in all countries still live in intergenerational homes, and lots of those people are still individuals that also are still functional people. I think that this man has such a gut reaction to his children leaving is two fold, 1 he centered his life around them as he's stated, but also that we never were meant to live this way... Species evolve over enormous lengths of time, we have not really had that some amount of time to evolve and we also have changed styles of living HUNDREDS of times. Rich celebs often times still have their children around almost all the time, but that's because they can afford to do so. I think this deep seeded lack of community, and unfortunately to say it capitalism drives all waking hours away to be hyper individuals, at the benefit of one's individual quality of life, but simultaneously harms that very quality of life by removing the very thing that allowed us to conquer mother nature, eachother.
Hi Bijorn. I worked as a volunteer in mental health. I found that quite often the problem was a lack of society and community. So many times people are left to go through the bad times alone. I often sat with people who were not unwell , they were lost in grief and sorrow with nobody to share their pain with. As you say ,in past times ,the tribe would hold you as you went through the hard times Much love to you.
I confronted it to myself from saying to myself "if I just had someone to talk to" (about it) ... I answered me with "but you don't." That was magical. I don't. So you can either dig in and embrace it and love yourself in response to your problems or end up borderline. I'm a warrior.
That reminds me how once I was sat alone in a small village and a local old lady walked up to me and just told me her husband had died. Like he had died just yesterday and I suppose she was lonely. I listened and sympathised as I could and we parted.
Thats unaccurate as hell. Even if You communicate with ppl and ppl just turn deaf to your existence while they can actually hear you, it will make u feel lonely. Seems like you hadnt been through rejection wether it is with the public or talking to another one on one. Ppl just don't care to notice ppl as long as it's existence might benefit them in amusement, or any kind of advantage they can take from You, thats when you're noticeable as hell. Thats when you're cool, special for them.
@@nathaninostroza7655 That's a defeatist's attitude. You're assuming the worst in everyone based on your own perception and experiences. You won't give anyone else a chance because of what someone else did. You should focus on positive outlets and ignore childish feedback from people who only speak from hurt. Only allow those with wisdom and care to impact you. In other words, throw the dirt aside and keep the vegetables so you can grow. Perception is a narrow tool though, remember that dirt is not worthless, it's simply not part of your current objective. Later when you've gained your own wisdom, you can scatter it like seeds to the dirt to grow so that others may grow as well. Perspective is everything, without it you will be swinging madly in the dark, everyone will become a threat, but in reality, you're just stuck in defensive mode. You can't grow while defensive. Not all things can be understood immediately, some things you have to chew on, swallow, digest, and then absorb. Putting in the Time is a heavily disrespected part of life these days.
I agree. Days can be full of sad moments when you look around and there isn't anyone to share your thoughts with or share experiences or small achievements with.
I know about loneliness. My husband died in 2018, Mom died in 2020, and it seems everyone that I talked to regularly has died. All within about three years. Home alone and the sickness. I am tired of being alone. Most people don't want to hear your problems.
When we lose the people we love it can be devastating,I lost 2 of my brothers and my mother then my father in law and because I wouldn’t take the poison jab my remaining family stop speaking to me …stay strong 💪🏻 we will recover ..
I agree that no one really wants to hear our problems. I've been lonely since ex left me, who was my world, 7 yrs ago. So I share your pain. I often get told to phone a help line etc, but I want genuine friendship, not a false one who's just saying what they're taught. Sending you a hug from England UK.
I too am very lonely. I’ve worked my whole life. started working when I was 15 1/2 I am 62 now\.Had to stop working in 2020. I have my wife and we love each other very much. I’ve had no interactions with people at all except for going to the store since then. my wife has lots of friends on social media but I don’t do social media so I don’t. I literally have to take things one day at a time. Otherwise I can’t deal with things.
I'm a son who visited my parents daily after work for more than 10yrs to help care for them until bedtime, which meant I put my own life on hold. My sister and brother didn't want to know. Dad died in late 2020 and Mum in early 2021. It's not just the empty evenings that are hard, but being childless and in my early 50s, I have nothing in the future, and it hurts seeing happy families on sunny days. Wish the lonely folk in the world could find each other ❤
You still have your "Silver Fox" days, bro. Keep your chin up. Lots of young ladies looking for a sugar daddy. Could also adopt some Japanese orphans...and your community would celebrate them as being super geniuses, making their academic careers easy as a California Roll.
@@the_gilded_age_phoenix8717 J P had his parents stuffed and they are still in the living room the exact same way as the day they passed away and the same record they always listened to is now skipping which keeps JP from not hunting the rest of us to full fill his needs.
@@the_gilded_age_phoenix8717 How is paying a young woman to keep him company not just making him more lonely? She is not there for him, just for the money
Our culture has been sterilized. We have nothing to stand on that is common to us anymore. Life was always a bit lonely, but it is nothing but emptiness and demoralized existence these days. We are allowed no heroes and nothing is okay unless it fits into a tiny little jar. Thank you for talking about this.
@@no15minutecities - I have an in between state for me when it comes to the topic of loneliness. While I see the importance of communicating with others enough to acquire some social need fulfilled, I just don't have much of an instinct to develop that comradery of friends or engaging with their social circles. Socially speaking, I am very much a wondering vagabond or am otherwise nomadic about dealings with others. Many permanent relationships, romantic or platonic, have just ended poorly or wound up hurting myself or the other person/people in life. Once engaging with others continues for an extended period of time, I start to just become very un-comfortable and run out of things to say to keep the conversation going. Then I feel incredibly stuck within my own mind enough to dissociate from the current topic at hand, thus feeling stuck within the given located environment and feeling trapped with the people around me. So then, ill give a social cued signal to end the conversation shortly thereafter in order to travel physically to a newer location to interact with the next group of people doing something different, always seeking the latest form of novelty.
That’s how 90% of crowds seem to be so no need to look at them n feel alone. They care too much about their own social media profile. They don’t care bout others and they don’t even care about themselves.. they just care how they appear on the outside.
I think being alone isn't as bad as being in bad company. My husband and I are living very isolated. My husband had a stroke and is since wheelchair bound. I saw everybody turn away. Even his mother and father. My family and his family. And friends too. We got ghosted by everybody. I learned something from it. We live in a illusion. Not a big illusion, but many many small illusions. The world is a cold and dark place. Everybody is looking for themselves. And the devil has an Angel face. So ... There are things worse then being alone. I pray and hope for salvation.
Robin Williams quote: I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.
@@gt4032 I know. What I meant was, if _he_ can end up feeling that way while he's alive, we're screwed. Also, I'm not sure he really did himself in. The way he passed is very suspicious. His son and daughter-in-law were trying to get him to move in with them for some time before he died, but they were unable to convince him to. His death may have something to do with the people/person in his life who made him feel lonelier than if he was all alone.
i think what people forget about loneliness is after a while it becomes your comfort zone and it makes it really difficult to let someone in after years of dealing with it even if you want to break out of it, what seems to be comfort quickly turns into a mental prison and you see your life flashing before your eyes...
@@nicolepuentes5570 You took the words right outta my mouth. I'm very independent and have the fortitude to live the remainder of my life alone if I must; but it's always preferable to have someone to share it with who don't mind carrying some of your burden even though you don't want anyone to have to.
Hey Bjorn... I turn 65 this year. With the exception of a few months, I've been completely alone for 35 years. ( and I mean completely ) - It has nothing to do with my character or even my looks, or anything I can even fathom. It just is. It is a horror of solitute that no one would want ever want to live. Trust me on that. I can't emphasize enough how important it is to call people you know are alone, to visit them and to share with them etc. etc.. Face to face interaction is like oxygen. We all need it. The older you get, the more invisible you become but there's no way in hell that I will fade away. I'm too stubborn. Thanks for your show. Share whatever the hell you want. We will be here. Thanks.
I don’t care at this point if I fade away, but I do agree with most of what you wrote. I’ve been pretty much alone (through no fault of my own) for about as long as you have (little bit younger than you). It’s hard to find anyone who cares and understands. We live in a world of majority mindless superficial zombies.
@Jack B Don't take this the wrong way, but that bitter resentment might explain why you've been alone so long. Don't get me wrong, if you'd rather be alone, that is absolutely okay.
So if you have been completely alone for 35 years, and hated the solitude. Why didn't you make friends? There must be a reason? Age has no barrier?Plenty of groups to join.
I rather be alone than be around people that make me feel alone, I quit drinking alcohol in the beginning of the pandemic and started a daily regiment of exercise and reading about various topics and I couldn’t be more happier
I quit drinking in 1999, when I saw what it did to certain people I stopped and stopped associating with anyone who drank it was such a bad feeling I got from them totally different person which was so upsetting! Alcohol can be very evil in some people it's unbelievable!
Congrats! It’s awesome that you took the opportunity to better yourself. Many ppl only looked at the negatives. In the end, we can only control ourselves.
Yup I stopped about 5 yrs ago . I didn't plan on it or even have any reason at the time .. It's been a positive experience for me as I used to do it a bit too much . But I'm really glad I did in hindsight I guess sometimes we don't need to know the reason why at the moment ....but in time it becomes clear some part of you knows the why.
~I did that, too!~I quit right before any of the pandemic stuff started, then when they tried to keep people from sunshine & fresh air & exercise, i got as much of all those things as i could!!!~Congrats on your sobriety!!!~☆~
@@nicolepuentes5570 Yes I kind of envy people who can drink in reasonable moderation. I'm not one of them. I have to stay on the wagon 24/7. I've always been socially awkward because of a narcissistic ignoring mother when young (she taught me nothing but how to be prey for predators). So in order to feel like I belonged, I would drink lots of alcohol for liquid courage. And the only time I was ever "accepted" was among the drunk partying crowd. So now if I ever try to just have a little, I end up over doing it. And I hate what it does to me.
When you talk about your personal life and feelings, you reach others who have no platform, and no-one to talk to. What you're doing is very important for society.
I've always been a loner. I don't see the world the way most people do. This played to my advantage during most of life, especially with the plandemic. I don't connect to people who talk about fashion or TV. I'd rather be in the woods.
Ditto. Growing up in different countries with military parents, and after spending 20 years in the military, I learned to deal with life being alone. Now, I'm retired and still alone, but I love it.
@@glendacastillo6504 how old are you though, im 36 and the die alone without anybody crying for me thought hit me really hard. Until now i truly didnt care but all of the sudden it does
I'm a 34 year old single male. I live alone, I eat alone, I sleep alone. I do everything alone. I've been permanent work from home in my "career" since 2019. My only form of social interaction is when I see my parents. Luckily I moved and bought a house about 10 minutes away from them. I have no friends. I haven't dated in over six years. I quit drinking two years ago and the last of my "friends" disappeared soon after. I have no one in my life. I am constantly reminded in my day to day that I should just disappear. People treat me, at best, when I'm out and about, as a nuisance, and at worst as the absolute worst part of their day. It's awful. I'm not a fat ugly loser, either. I'm a bald, tall, in shape man, but I'm treated like a second class citizen now. Some days I can barely make it to the end of the day. I work out, or work on my house to get out the angst it creates in me. I'm really struggling.
No one tells you about the hallow loneliness that happens when you re kids grow up and go away. It’s deafeningly quiet. But those grandkids brighten your hearts and fill those sad times. I have realized that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life, so when those lonely hours come, I go outside and work on my old farm, and pittle around outside.
Isolated. Not one incoming call or txt from large family or children (all took the "treatments" ) There was a large gathering, I mailed gifts ahead of time to the aging parents, but was not told of the gathering location or invited. This has happened on holidays for years now. These holidays are always very painful. Bjorn thank you for this video.
I am wondering if we were surrounded by robots all of the time pretending being our families, machines that feed from trauma electrical beings that suck life force. Humans we are all original from beyond the sea and we were put here for harvest by a other spece. So most of tge rest wd see as just this spece and robots. Metrópolis is real
All i can say is WOW your family and friends fell hook line and sinker hard for this bullshit. I know its hard for you im sure but in the end you have a clear conscious and you were right ! In the end they will see the light and relize they were 100% wrong.
What they are isolating you because you didn’t take the vaccine? that’s crazy, if one travels or goes anywhere surely they must be crossing the paths of the unvaccinated all the time.
there is a crisis of loneliness in the west, with divorce, loss of religion, loss of friendship, loss of tribe and no amount of materialism or sex can substitute for love and meaning.
Thank you for talking about loneliness. Too many empty chairs at the table. Most people that I loved are dead. The ones I could talk to and feel their love. Most people now just want to talk about themselves and never listen in return. I don’t miss them. So not really lonely so much as alone. Without most of those that I loved.
Yep, loneliness and depression are very real. As a single woman without kids, I've felt this way for years, but I think it is getting worse. I don't fit the typical stereotype for what society thinks is "normal," and the loneliness and depression get worse over time.
Ditto! I’m a teacher too so it’s all centered around kids or others kids and teachers are very programmed and a bit dull. So yeah I’m like the total weirdo 😂. It’s definitely got harder since convid as I’ve lost friends over that too 😮
Kids grow up and do their own thing anyway. I love my kids dearly but they don't need me very much these days.i have dogs and I love them , they need me and I need them, they are wonderful friends and companions. Sending you a virtual hug , love and peace to you 🙏👍
Yes harder times may be coming, but everyone hold on. The human spirit is resilient! We are descendants of people who came through hard times, and they have passed on to us there fortitude, courage. Accept that gift and use it wisely in the time to come. We are all connected, much love, and respect to all of you.
For another take on the “all connected theory” please take a peek at the sanity machine for another less mainstream theory. That’s a soul trap stuck in an endless loop of the human recycle bin meme
Loneliness....i try to taste it on my tongue...i never have been a people person...i like being Alone being in peace with myself and nature...i talk to my cat i talk to Animals... Wish you all the best Bjorn.... Skåll ☕
Take care of yourself, yeah?? No way out, only through. I lost my stepson last week to a heart attack. Only time I haven't felt lonely was time spent with some of my kids. He was their brother. Later today, tomorrow, the next day, I will write him a letter. I will write to him because writing is something I do. You & I, we do not know each other. But we are both walking through the depths of grief, at the same time. We will just keep doing the next thing in front of us. As time goes on, your brother will always be there with you. As will Chris, who I always considered to be my son. Everywhere I go, he will be there. He is part of the fabric of my life. Your brother is part of yours. And since you & I are still here, still breathing, we shall each live. We shall live a beautiful, worthy life. Thank you for what you wrote. It actually helped me to feel less lonely because I know that you are going through the same thing as I am. Grateful for that. Truly.
I'd much rather Connect in the Physical world. Hugs mean Everything. I Can't Believe So many people have actually bought the Lie that Social media is better when you could Ride A 2-Stroke Dirtbike, 70MPH SEADOO, Climb mountains ⛰ Mountains like MT RAINIER. Very Disgusting and LAZY by Most people participating.
I've lived alone for many years and don't speak to anyone (I'm a high-functioning autistic). I go to the supermarket just to be around people. I know that is pathetic but it's true. Some days the emptiness is overwhelming. Thank you for talking about this so honestly.
I think I am autistic. I do enjoy going to cafes and hearing the buzz. I do have lots of special interest hobbies and volunteer. i am not hugely lonely as I like my own company a lot, though it would be nice to have someone to go to restaurants or the cinema.. although I would prefer the conversations short or I will get bored
I don't think it's pathetic at all, in fact it is probably way more common than people talk about. I myself have been there for a couple of years. Not sure it helps to know this, but you are far from the only one doing something like this.
Thank you for talking about this. I've been alone for decades now and some days the loneliness is bad, others not so much. We are not designed to go through life alone.
I seem to have arrived at that point. I hike with groups but that is only weekly. My relationship fizzled two months ago because he was not really emotionally available. My son is grown up and has his own life. The emptiness is overwhelming. Personally I welcome your talks, wisdom and perspective - a friendly companionship I crave. And of course I feel alienated from those who are sucked into the dumbed down, overfed, over pampered lifestyle 😳
I want so badly to have a sense of community. I have spent the past year trying very hard to make connections, but it's a strange world we live in now, and people are very disconnected. I feel you Bjorn! My kids are flying the nest, too.
I don't know if you will ever read this Bjorn but just know you are doing great work here! I certainly appreciate you and a number of other content creators that are helping getting us through these troubling times. You and many others show us we are not alone. It's a strange world we live in where we have to find community online instead of the real world currently. Some of us are more fortunate to have community. But I am grateful I have one here. ❤️💪
Don't know what country you are in, but Stand in the Park are in many countries, like minded people getting together on a Sunday, no agenda, just to chat.
@@sarahrepton9248 Yeah I wish there was some way we could recognize one another in public. Unfortunately the tares look just like wheat.....🙄😒You don't know what kind of person they truly are until after you've gotten burned by another one (again).🔥
At 73 I never expected to be so mistreated and blamed as this woman never blamed any generation as each has a history of hell and no blaming but now we have no way to meet anyone , so many lonely people where do they all come from , and the Beatles said this in late 60's !! where did we all come from ?? why has this happened or planned ?? was this planned to drive us to commit the big S word, not allowed by the word police ,idiots !! I have no community , they died, they left at my orders for being narcississtics and people been showing thier true colors since the planned pandemic of mass psychosis !! I am not Borg or a Zombie/sheep !
I'm 60 from Australia & I've been totally lonely for 40 years, I have become an introvert, not by my choice, I don't even get a phone call from my daughter & I can't call her either, Thanks for the wonderful speach, new sub here too 😊
This is an interesting video , after my experiences with other humans I actually prefer being alone . I don't feel lonely , I can gather my thoughts , think more clearly about how to tackle everyday problems . Bjorn is old enough to realize being alone shouldn't make you lonely but make you more of a thinker . Beware of other humans , don't rush to make friends because you have the illusion of loneliness .
I am deeply fearful now. There has been a shift over the last years. But I think that most people are ignoring it or they don’t feel it. I am by nature a loner but feel increasingly isolated. I am standing alone watching the world sleepwalk to destruction. To soothe my mind, I garden and hug my dogs. And I wait.
@@PamsMountainGarden Yes, I only mentioned because what you said in your post reminded me of his thread of life-philosophy that he weaved through the book. To say it simply, when the world is going crazy and up is down and down is up and the world is full of madness that he would still contentedly tend to his own garden, no matter what.
The sleepers are holding us back!!! They refuse to wake the fu... Up!! The time will come when it's too late and they will be left behind or not make it! It's absolutely mind-blowing!!
There's a newer trend, too, of guys like me in their 30s to mid-20s, that feel this way. I think we've lost hope of getting married and having kids or we just don't want them for whatever reason. And it makes us feel like we no longer have a purpose in life unless we do some kind of specialized work and even then the work doesn't make us feel less lonely. Thank you for doing this subject and video, I've been needing it for awhile now. It helps knowing it's not just me.
I think there are A LOT of people who feel this way. I have adult children, busy living their own lives. I see them occasionally but most of the time I am alone. My ex husband has remarried and the kids spend a lot of time with them. They have money and take them on trips. I can only offer them a home cooked meal. We all have a story I guess. Please don’t give up on finding someone special. It happens suddenly most of the time. I am 55 years old & I have seen a lot of people, who thought they would never find someone, fall in love.
@@Phoenixpwrsonifoed The idea of being with another person sounds like literal Hell to me, to the point where I would resent that person for existing, and wish death upon them, so that I may regain my freedom. Therefore, when you say, "please don't give up on finding someone," you are telling me to actively attempt to put myself into a position where I will perpetually wish death upon someone. I don't think I have to explain how messed up that is. I realize this was not your intention; however, please consider this before telling others how to live their lives.
@@Phoenixpwrsonifoed Sorry, thought you were replying to a different thread, with people who said they DIDN'T want to find partners! Forgive my hostile reply; it doesn't apply to you. My apologies!
It’s strange that the more interconnected we are with gadgets and technology the lonelier that we have become. Like Bjorn, I too have centered my life around the protection of and providing for my family, tasks I lovingly and willingly do. However I can see how when they are gone how I will miss them.
Nothing is more healing than a walk in the woods. You are correct there are more lonely people in this world than ever before….greetings from crazy Canada!
This is so true for me. I feel at peace when I'm actually alone however around most people that's when I feel lonely. I have no connection or anything in common anymore with most. Very interesting indeed. 🤔
@Bob Mathews yes it is a state of mind. Alone and loneliness are 2 very different things However when alone time becomes a permanent state it takes a toll. We are meant to be social beings.
A lot of truth there. But the physical, emotional, and spiritual are all connected so loneliness can actually be a physical reality. Humans need touch. For example babies will die if they don't receive touch. I see being human as both a blessing and a curse.
I appreciate your honesty. I'm an "empty nester" now and have downsized. I'm still trying to work out what I'm supposed to do as I've invested most of my life and time raising my children. Guess I just need to get to know "me" again. Thank you for talking about this. Take care, Bjorn.
I went through the same deep sadness/loneliness when my children left home one after the other. Along the way my husband and I lost that “something” we started off with and quickly realized we only had the kids’ interests in common. “Now who am I?” was my question, and I felt lost. Then all of a sudden, (2 years ago) we were blessed with a granddaughter. The light of my life! But still, I wonder, if it’s healthy to get ALL my joy from being a grandmother.
Being childfree by choice, I have always been 'me'. I have a lot of hobbies and I do volunteering. I do have to get used to the evenings when it is more tricky. As I get older I will have to get my act together socially as people my age will die off etc so it is important for me to be working in mixed age groups etc. I really don't mind not having kids or grand kids. it means I have more time for travel and adventures
I am giving up because I am crippled over 70 and have literally no other options. There truly is nor will there be any possible options in what is left of my lifetime. We have all been steered in this direction and I am closest to the edge of the abyss and sliding into it with nothing and no one to hold onto. By the time people realize what happened to me it will be too late. Then they will shrug and go to Starbuck’s. That’s all I meant to them.
I feel awful too. I have dogs and cats all my life and even they are not so enjoyable anymore. I feel I’m a bit outside myself watching me be defeated. I sleep or distract myself all the time. Its not easy.
You are spot on Bjørn. My Daughter is 24 now, has a great career, is getting married this summer, I raised her as a single Dad (full custody with divorce) from 2005. We only see each other about 4 or 5 times a year now text now and then....the "not needed" part you said really hit me, I cried because that's me. Thank you.❤
I am childfree and loneliness is something that comes to us, but I do volunteering and meet people that way and if I get the time I do adult education classes. I have some social life but in the evenings it is more difficult or going to the cinema or restaurant but I can't have everything
When we started put our seniors in care centers and nursing homes that is when the loneliness began. It will not end untill our elders are brought home. Untill there are 3 generations once again living in the same household.
Totally agree. Once ' motility ' began... Bicycle, cycles,cars,trains & planes. We decide to leave home & gain adventure. No one is happy ' content ' to be where they are. Yes, void. Understood..... still working on ' doing something '. Being a Mother who homeschooled 5 children WITH a mini-farm to boot...there IS VERY MUCH a void once they are gone. The farm is gone as well. My solution was to become a pet sitter for other folks who wish for vacation time. While I do miss my children, I do so enjoy each different pet I am with. Thus, when I am home alone, it is a new type of JOY. Best to every one to find a purpose.
Loneliness is a mental game. It gets to me too but I tell myself it could be worse. And it could ! And, remember, better to be alone than with the wrong person.
I feel your loneliness. 2 of my 3 kids are still at home, youngest is 14 and I feel less needed. It’s a transition both as a parent and also for my kids who are becoming more independent. It’s both Joy and Pain, Sunshine and Rain. Btw, I love hearing your personal stories.
I'm where you are, and it's a weird spot. Kids grown, living in a town I hate, isolated and alone for long periods of time. I don't know where to go from here, but getting a job is my first step.
Hopefully, the emptiness you may be feeling will be filled with a few grandchildren in the future. Knowing you have family out there and you have visits to look forward to should be a comfort. I guess the people who have no one and nothing to look forward to feel the worse loneliness.
I am childfree by choice and being alone sometimes is part of our lives. However, I have learned to be busy and do lots of volunteering. I also run some hobby clubs. It is in the evenings that is tricky as there is no one to go to the cinema or restaurants.. however it is ok and it is enough for me. Being childfree means I have a lot of interests so during the day I am ok.
We are human beings and have the freedom to talk about what we feel like. The loneliness factor, I totally agree and can relate big time on that one. I am no stranger to loneliness, ever since the MeToo movement began, everything social took a major drastic hit. Covid put the finishing nails in the coffin. Then my age to top it off. location plays a part as well, but nothing I can do on that one at the moment. We are permanently divided now and it will be an uphill battle to reverse this, because of all this division.
What a glorious sound as you walk..now just imagine if our feathered friends or streams just never existed, that lonely feeling would be more pronounced in my eyes as nature is a helping hand.
@darthgardner, yes! I always say the world would be a lonely place without birds. No matter where you go, almost always there are birds, singing their beautiful songs and busily living their lives. And early mornings, before the human world awakens, that’s their time to rule the world ☺️
So very true... I have my dog ..just lost my best friend, a mastiff named Isabella.. so it's just myself and Sequoia my other mastiff.. as well as Clive, Lionel, Chips, Tom & Spud.. my birds who are in a very large Aviary so I sit inside the Aviary on my chair and just watch them being busy and listening to the chatter ..
We are alienated from nature, from our food, from our spirituality, from ourselves and from our tribe. We traded comfort and safety for all of the above.
I’m more elder and loneliness is no stranger. I’ve lived the majority of my life and seen as less a productive person. My kids are grown, have children of their own. I stand strong as a backup of knowledge and wisdom. I’m hoping they continue to keep the close bond we have. Family is everything to me. It’s heart breaking to see their struggles but I have to let them figure it out. I’m always there and they know it. I keep my distance on situations until I’m asked. If grieves me sometimes, the mama bear wants to make everything ok. Still the nurturing mom.
Bijorn - how lovely to actually hear a man opening up about this issue. I was feeling upset the other day as to how my teenage son doesn’t want me around as much. We used to practically do everything together and were very close. I know it’s the right of passage for teens to start to pull away but it really stings as to how icy cold they can be. It felt like my life changed into colour when my son was born and there was so much joy and excitement. Now it feels like things have gone back into black and white and everything is a bit ‘meh’. Also having aging parents is horrible. You can see them deteriorating from the once healthy vibrant people they used to be. It’s like you have to be strong for everyone else but no one is really there for you. Then there is worry about your own retirement and what plans and hopes you have for that. It just feels like you’ve reached most of your younger goals of family, relationships, work, hobbies and now it’s suddenly changing and becoming about retirement😂 Anyways, I try to stay upbeat around those who need me which kinda helps a bit.
Yes watching your mom or dad dying in front of you is the WORST ESPECIALLY if there is nothing u can do for them!!😪😪 Yes my niece is 12 and OMG need I say more! The lack of respect, no manners, do what they want, don't listen and on and on and on!! Maybe try telling them how u feel??? When they get older they will realize how important You are and maybe have some regrets! I'm a loner cuz I don't trust people, especially when they totally do a flip on you and it's devastating so I enjoy being alone or with my family even if we don't hang out much I know they are there!!❤️❤️ Just keep loving them ❤️👨👩👧👦
I remember that time and still haven't recovered. Loss is the worst thing to cope with as you age. You think you will cope because of all the things you did being busy, family, acquiring, learning, but losing the people who, usually, loved you best and knew you the longest you never get over. Blessings.
My children are 43 and 46. They are my best friends, after my husband. My son moved to another state yet calls me daily just to say hello and "I love you". Priceless.
I've been married twice, had family life, generally felt alone the whole time, I've actually been alone by myself now for 4 years. I feel the same as i did when I was around people.
I have a hard time with people that think they can live in a world where they dont want to know each other. The loss of the sense of community is because people dont want to hear anything personal about anyone, and I think its a selfish outlook. I love connecting with my elders, I get to know their struggles and challenges and know who to turn to when I am going through my own trials. There is nothing new in this world, only that we each must go through the experience of it. But you are right that people do not tend to do well when they do it alone, there are exceptions of course but most of us need connection to thrive. I appreciate connecting with youtube creators that share their stories, it makes me see them as people and not just someone on a screen far away. Thank you for being real.
I need you brother. I listen to you and find peace. Even if I disagree with you on something I still feel at ease when it comes from you. Still hoping somehow to one day share a fire and coffee with you. You'll always be needed. The wisdom you possess can't be found in a book.
My husband passed away last year of 48 years of marriage,im a widow,still cant wrap that around my head. Im so lonely and i try my best to be happy for my two daughters and my Grandchildren, my siblings and friends. But its hard because i miss him so. I feel like im nothing,just in the way now. My heart is so broken 💔
Thank you, Bjorn. As I approach the Autumn of life I've realized the importance of familiar environment and social interaction you are fond of. Like an oak planted in the forest. Wish you the very best. You're one of the best damn trees I know.
In the last decade or so, many of my friends and acquaintances have either moved on or died. I've also been discarded and forgotten by younger people I used to know who have grown up now, and that hurts a little. Despite feeling lonely from time to time I still have goals, hopes and dreams. I try to stay positive.
I've noticed that too with younger people I knew from my past. I stayed the same at heart but they grew cold and wanted nothing to do with me. I grew spiritually/emotionally and they stagnated.
my loneliness is having people around, but virtually none of them relate to my personal values. the one who does is far away and i cannot maintain sufficient contact. so here i am listening to bjorn. one of my last reliefs.
Same here I feel that way sometimes. I can’t relate to people not because necessarily we have to believe the same things but the principles and standards of respect and kindness etc is not there. So I can’t be part of anything. Those that do believe in bettering humanity are all separated live far away from each other.
I know people (mostly men) who are confident in themselves and are "thinkers". They tend to stay to themselves by choice. And they are very happy. One said to me when we were having lunch together recently that so many people he knows of are preoccupied with trying to impress others with material items such as a new vehicle, latest clothing trends, most recent cell-phone release, etc. He said that he is ok being alone with his thoughts. It brings him peace and happiness. I can understand this viewpoint. I have witnessed that the "keeping up with the Jones' " is a game of debt and eventually going broke. Most importantly, nobody really cares what you drive/have anyway. This friend of mine as mentioned above controls his exposure to the public. It probably is the best policy in today's time. Particularly with how people have changed so much-usually not for the better.
I’m a single woman and my kids are grown. I know how you feel Bjorn about feeling like you are not needed as much anymore. I do however have a job where I am needed too much. I’m a nurse who wants a new profession after these last 3 years. I didn’t take the treatment and was treated terrible as a result. I think I would like to literally go live in a cabin in the woods away from all people and write. I’m an extreme introvert however, so I think that is helpful.
Hello, thanks for making this video. No one is made to live alone. People saying showing emotions is weak.. I don't get that. It's the opposite imo. Loneliness is my daily struggle. Anxiety disorder isn't a lot of fun. Social media is making people more lonely as never before. Backpacking / wildcamping is saving me. And my 3 dogs for sure. All we need is love and understanding. Wish you the best.
People need to grow some balls. Too many people are wimps nowadays. Loneliness is fiction. Understanding yourself and enjoying your own company is fact.
You are so right. I have been feeling lonely since I retired. I don't really live alone. I have a little appartment downstairs from my daughter, her husband and her son. However there is not much interaction. They have their lives. There is nothing worse then feeling lonely when you are not alone. Almost everyday after I have attended Mass I will go to acoffee shop with a book for an hour or so just to feel life around me. It makes it so pathetic.
No you are spending time with you and that's beautiful, but I believe family should be together at least twice a week if possible! I always tell people to hug, love and make your mom and dad happy as much as you can cuz when they are gone then it's lonely
@@nicolepuentes5570 I would like to have someone to talk to sometimes. I keep busy but but I miss the interaction. I worked for 30 years in the Social Security office dealing with customers face-to-face. So it makes it harder for me. I like talking to people and I miss that human contact.
I regret retiring. As a woman alone in the world, I somehow underestimated how important that daily social interaction, as well as feeling a part of the living world and having a purpose and structure, really was to me.
Even as a little boy I used to be so lonely it felt like being in a black hole and unable to see. An empty, consuming feeling. It reached a peak in my college years and then, for some reason, the loneliness faded away. Now I just turned 40 and prefer to be alone. I don’t know what changed.
I’ve been alone for a long time. I’m 60. Worked most of my life. Never been married. No kids. No siblings. Not much in the way of family. I have a few scattered friends but don’t spend much time with them. So I get what you’re saying.
I am childfree and don't have much family and that is ok. I do lots of volunteering and I have lots of hobbies. I don't feel lonely much although in the evenings it is more tricky... but I just keep busy. I really dont regret not having kids and grandkids.. I love my freedom
Bjorn, you partially inspired me to get into sailing. This summer will be my first full season of sailing. I felt that I had no real healthy or worthwhile hobbies, and particularly none that got me in touch with a community. The sailing community is one of the best; everyone is keen to help you and wish you well and give you helpful tips. Sailors are genuinely happy for one another.
I’m a retired Psychotherapist. My understanding is that people require relationships that are meaningful to be healthy and happy. We need people. In all ways, I try to pursue meaningful relationships. The separation and destruction of social contact is toxic to the mind,body and spirit. I think what you are doing is great. Wishing you the best.
Friends are over-rated. You can become anything you want and it is all up to you. I find most people are just users or jealous of me. A true friend? Very hard to find.
First time watching . . . all very strange to me . . . I've just passed seventy, have no family to speak of and really no close friends besides my wife; however, I've never been lonely . . . love my own company and the world is packed full of more things to do than I can ever hope to indulge. We are all going to die, that is a given and we will never know death, because death is not of the living. I only hope that when I die it will not be drawn out and I hope I shall not have to depend on anyone. I came to the realization long ago that family, money, fame or indulgence will never bring you happiness. Happiness comes, when you go back into your mind and have a conversation with self and ascertain what makes you truly happy and content, then apply yourself to that goal. I think too may folks are using their eyes to seek happiness, looking in the wrong direction. I heard a saying once that made me laugh and also made me say right on, "the graveyards are full of folks who would love to take on the hardships you are finding so difficult". Cheers. PS (A hobby: I love the old stories and I try to record all that I've heard, I've always been a listener and observer).
At least this is a resource. I don't know how I randomly found this but no mention from any remote workers which I am. Sounds goods on the surface you don't have to commute but it is very isolating and depressing at times.
Investigate your loneliness. Don't stay at the level of thought, look deeply into the feeling. The real cure for loneliness is underneath it. Worldly "solutions" are only temporarily, they come and go. Sit with your loneliness and do not judge it. Just look at it and persist with that. The mind will only sell you thoughts if you're open for business.
I hate being around people. The last 3 years have been, hands down, the best years of my life. I lost my job, so I started a small business and now I don’t care about having a job. I was at that company for 18 years and I have only remained in communication with 1 single person from that company, and that isn’t someone who I really consider a “friend”, but more of a former co-worker who occasionally reaches out and we’ll text back and forth for a couple of days. All that said, the topic of other people’s loneliness interests me. I find it fascinating. I say ‘get to know yourself’ and you’ll have a new best friend.
I say get grounded, take off your shoes, go barefoot, and ground yourself, the universe and earth are going thru changes, most feel it, but don't know what it is, be of sound mind, by connecting with earth," were we came from, instead of being involved in the craziness of this world, ground yourself, it's going to get ruffer.
@@hearthecrysofthecrusaders3357 funny you say that - I have numbness in my feet, for a couple of years at this point. Today, because the weather allows, I committed to not wearing socks and this is the first day in a long time that I’ve remained barefoot for this long. I actually took my shoes off for a bit while we were walking the dog. But yes, we garden and being connected to the earth - directly physically connected - is something that just makes life better. Great advice.
Hey Björn. I just travelled for 6 weeks trough Vietnam & Thailand. It was an amazing experience, again! The social cohesion of their societies is still strong! Therefore , day by day I opened up more & more. I felt calmer, happier and finally like a normal human being again! Now Im back in Melbourne, Australia and wonder trough the suburbs to get rid of the jetlag: the difference is gigantic! What a disfucntional society, the western society has become. No warmth nor interest in eachother anymore! All the best! 🙏🏼🛫
@@Paulathompson1712 blank expresion - zombie faces . Filled with fear. Enjoy your holiday in the Amazon! Perhaps enjoy some Burundanga or mind expanding sessions with the natives! 😎
I agree, it is a society problem. It was not like this when mothers mostly stayed home and raised their own children. Without that there is no community
I've been lonely and isolated since my early 20s, and I'm a man. At 46 not much has changed with that. It does get worse as you age. Eventually the world you know begins to shrink, as people die off. You eventually become an observer of life, rather then someone living it. It builds a philosophical wisdom beyond what you would have preferred to not have known. It's like the Matrix. It's not something that you can explain to someone unless they have seen it for themselves. It's also very much like Plato's analogy of the cave, but within your mind. When you do make it out of that cave, you begin to observe that many people around you are stuck within it. Either way, you don't win. I haven't figured a way out of the loneliness, even after all of these years. I still hold onto hope but that hope is very diluted now.
@@LilyGazou I've surpassed that. I could teach the Dalai Lama a thing or two.😂 You know what I walked away with after all these years? The realization that we lie to ourselves about the meaning of our lives. It is what it is. Or as George Carlin worded it, " It just is, and so are we, for a little while." I wish I could be more positive about it but... Like animals rummaging through their lives, so do we. Due to the law of probability, some will have better lives than others. I had a friend who was isolated and lonely for many years. He eventually met a wonderful woman and settled down. He use to tell me how it was all worth it in the end because everything eventually works out. Shortly later he died in a car accident while she was pregnant with his child. All those years he was alone was a waste of his precious life. There was no meaning behind that. Like mentioned within this video, no one really has a solution to these problems. Unfortunately, many people don't realize how short life truly is. Or as John Lennon worded it, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." Or CCR, "Someday never comes." That's true wisdom, for those who know! I'd like to see the Lama write lyrics like that. 😂
New tribes are forming, seek, and you will find. You will always be a father Bjorn, the only constant, is change, as mother nature shows . Love your insights & wisdom.
Thank you for everything you say. I'm very glad I found your channel about a month ago. I struggle with depression on a daily basis due to multiple traumatic brain injuries. I'm from the united states and I have a bit of Finish bloodline in me. My ancestor rowed a boat himself to the baltic region across the whole sea to find better land for farming. So I've always had a place in my heart for Norse mythology. And am very proud of my Nordic roots! Skal, brother!
I would rather be alone, then be around people that make me feel lonely while I am in their presence. I believe Robin Williams said that. The one thing I found about being alone is the calming peace you can find, with in your self. if you look for it you will find it.
As of lately, I find it increasingly difficult to interact with like minded people that know something very scary is right around the corner for us all. It's lonely and scary. I find that experiencing nature helps soothe that loneliness and pulls my soul back to a peaceful reality if that makes any sense.
From my heart...it is LOVE we need most. I am far from "lonely" as I have 5 kids and 10 grandkids, all of whom live close (within 20 miles) and are close as brothers, sister, aunts, uncles...we all care for each other and have deep roots in the area we live. From my observations it seems that people lack close family ties and even tribal community of land and home. I love your work Bjorn...keep 'em coming brother!
We also have 10 acres we garden on and raise chickens, etc. to stay busy mind and body. People need to also get back in touch with the land as well as their people.
The worst kind of loneliness is when you are surrounded by people and realise you have no real connection with them.
Spot on!
That's me and most people, to be fair
@@jasonuren3479 same
Yup! Three years of forced social solitary confinement due to irrational assholes!
yeah. I definitely feel that.
“Solitude is dangerous. It’s very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realize how peaceful and calm it is. It’s like you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy.”
- Jim Carrey
SPOT ON!!!
Why is solitude dangerous?
@@CuteThingslike Because society wants us to breed, dear boy. After all, humans are the most lucrative form of capital and if men are choosing solitude, who will be there to help provide for the future elderly?!
@@midasthestallion4105 Men take care of EVERYONE in this WORLD!!!
Yes I was abused by a narc and I've lost trust and prefer own company now
I got past loneliness. I prefer to be alone. Most people aren't worth being around. "It is far better to be alone, than to be in bad company." - George Washington
Agreed. Most people are losers.
Agreed.
Beautiful
@@berthomahendra1146 I have a lot of hobbies I enjoy. I don't get bored. Maybe one day I'll end up missing people, but it hasn't happened yet and I've been like this for years. I don't like being around other people. Yes, I have to do it, but I don't really enjoy it and I can't wait until I can be alone again. People really bother me anymore. I really prefer to be alone.
@@berthomahendra1146 Fishing, reading, wood carving, building and painting Warhammer 40k models, collecting and watching old horror/scifi and kung fu movies, making and throwing shuriken. All stuff that's fun to do alone.
I've always thought my own loneliness is so sad because I have a lot of love to give.
Dude. The reason your adult kids will soon no-longer rely on you is because you have done an excellent job as a father! Hold on to that, it's a precious and increasingly rare thing these days.
Top man.
To the point
I actually 100% agree with this, but I have to add a caveat. Technically, were tribes people, and we should be living in tight communities.. The advent of hyper individualistic people is only a VERY new thing brought on by post industrial society, only for the most rich and privileged. Large amounts of people in all countries still live in intergenerational homes, and lots of those people are still individuals that also are still functional people.
I think that this man has such a gut reaction to his children leaving is two fold, 1 he centered his life around them as he's stated, but also that we never were meant to live this way... Species evolve over enormous lengths of time, we have not really had that some amount of time to evolve and we also have changed styles of living HUNDREDS of times. Rich celebs often times still have their children around almost all the time, but that's because they can afford to do so.
I think this deep seeded lack of community, and unfortunately to say it capitalism drives all waking hours away to be hyper individuals, at the benefit of one's individual quality of life, but simultaneously harms that very quality of life by removing the very thing that allowed us to conquer mother nature, eachother.
Yes life is lonely especially losing you soul mate. Great if the children are still at home. Cherish this time.
Hi Bijorn. I worked as a volunteer in mental health. I found that quite often the problem was a lack of society and community.
So many times people are left to go through the bad times alone.
I often sat with people who were not unwell , they were lost in grief and sorrow with nobody to share their pain with.
As you say ,in past times ,the tribe would hold you as you went through the hard times
Much love to you.
Exactly why the JOO Workd Order tries to break down families and Community constantly divided people are easy to control having no sense of unity
I confronted it to myself from saying to myself "if I just had someone to talk to" (about it) ... I answered me with "but you don't." That was magical. I don't. So you can either dig in and embrace it and love yourself in response to your problems or end up borderline. I'm a warrior.
@@debrapaulino918 That's acceptance. You can be at peace alone or attempt to find worthy relationships (worthy is key) after that.
Bless you❤️🙏😇
That reminds me how once I was sat alone in a small village and a local old lady walked up to me and just told me her husband had died. Like he had died just yesterday and I suppose she was lonely. I listened and sympathised as I could and we parted.
Loneliness does not come from having no people around you, but from being unable to communicate what seems to be important to you.
I think there are different kinds of loneliness and those are two of 'em.
Thats unaccurate as hell. Even if You communicate with ppl and ppl just turn deaf to your existence while they can actually hear you, it will make u feel lonely. Seems like you hadnt been through rejection wether it is with the public or talking to another one on one. Ppl just don't care to notice ppl as long as it's existence might benefit them in amusement, or any kind of advantage they can take from You, thats when you're noticeable as hell. Thats when you're cool, special for them.
@@nathaninostroza7655 That's a defeatist's attitude. You're assuming the worst in everyone based on your own perception and experiences. You won't give anyone else a chance because of what someone else did. You should focus on positive outlets and ignore childish feedback from people who only speak from hurt. Only allow those with wisdom and care to impact you. In other words, throw the dirt aside and keep the vegetables so you can grow. Perception is a narrow tool though, remember that dirt is not worthless, it's simply not part of your current objective. Later when you've gained your own wisdom, you can scatter it like seeds to the dirt to grow so that others may grow as well.
Perspective is everything, without it you will be swinging madly in the dark, everyone will become a threat, but in reality, you're just stuck in defensive mode. You can't grow while defensive. Not all things can be understood immediately, some things you have to chew on, swallow, digest, and then absorb. Putting in the Time is a heavily disrespected part of life these days.
That's called frustration
I agree. Days can be full of sad moments when you look around and there isn't anyone to share your thoughts with or share experiences or small achievements with.
I know about loneliness. My husband died in 2018, Mom died in 2020, and it seems everyone that I talked to regularly has died. All within about three years. Home alone and the sickness. I am tired of being alone. Most people don't want to hear your problems.
When we lose the people we love it can be devastating,I lost 2 of my brothers and my mother then my father in law and because I wouldn’t take the poison jab my remaining family stop speaking to me …stay strong 💪🏻 we will recover ..
True
I agree that no one really wants to hear our problems. I've been lonely since ex left me, who was my world, 7 yrs ago. So I share your pain. I often get told to phone a help line etc, but I want genuine friendship, not a false one who's just saying what they're taught. Sending you a hug from England UK.
Sending love my friend ❤️🇳🇿 know that people are here feeling the same as you and that you are not alone! Keep reaching out
I too am very lonely. I’ve worked my whole life. started working when I was 15 1/2 I am 62 now\.Had to stop working in 2020. I have my wife and we love each other very much. I’ve had no interactions with people at all except for going to the store since then. my wife has lots of friends on social media but I don’t do social media so I don’t. I literally have to take things one day at a time. Otherwise I can’t deal with things.
I'm a son who visited my parents daily after work for more than 10yrs to help care for them until bedtime, which meant I put my own life on hold. My sister and brother didn't want to know.
Dad died in late 2020 and Mum in early 2021. It's not just the empty evenings that are hard, but being childless and in my early 50s, I have nothing in the future, and it hurts seeing happy families on sunny days. Wish the lonely folk in the world could find each other ❤
The song is called "Lonely People"
You still have your "Silver Fox" days, bro. Keep your chin up. Lots of young ladies looking for a sugar daddy. Could also adopt some Japanese orphans...and your community would celebrate them as being super geniuses, making their academic careers easy as a California Roll.
@@the_gilded_age_phoenix8717 J P had his parents stuffed and they are still in the living room the exact same way as the day they passed away and the same record they always listened to is now skipping which keeps JP from not hunting the rest of us to full fill his needs.
@@bodhixxx1 JP Gein, eh?
@@the_gilded_age_phoenix8717 How is paying a young woman to keep him company not just making him more lonely? She is not there for him, just for the money
I see no difference, I'm a lady of 50 , live in the countryside, and I'm terribly lonely...warm hugs to all here ...
Our culture has been sterilized. We have nothing to stand on that is common to us anymore. Life was always a bit lonely, but it is nothing but emptiness and demoralized existence these days. We are allowed no heroes and nothing is okay unless it fits into a tiny little jar. Thank you for talking about this.
Nicely said. Marion.
agree
@@no15minutecities - I have an in between state for me when it comes to the topic of loneliness. While I see the importance of communicating with others enough to acquire some social need fulfilled, I just don't have much of an instinct to develop that comradery of friends or engaging with their social circles. Socially speaking, I am very much a wondering vagabond or am otherwise nomadic about dealings with others.
Many permanent relationships, romantic or platonic, have just ended poorly or wound up hurting myself or the other person/people in life. Once engaging with others continues for an extended period of time, I start to just become very un-comfortable and run out of things to say to keep the conversation going. Then I feel incredibly stuck within my own mind enough to dissociate from the current topic at hand, thus feeling stuck within the given located environment and feeling trapped with the people around me.
So then, ill give a social cued signal to end the conversation shortly thereafter in order to travel physically to a newer location to interact with the next group of people doing something different, always seeking the latest form of novelty.
Society is garbage. And people are miserable
Very well said.
the worst feeling is being around people who do not really care about your life
That’s how 90% of crowds seem to be so no need to look at them n feel alone. They care too much about their own social media profile. They don’t care bout others and they don’t even care about themselves.. they just care how they appear on the outside.
Ohh buddy we all have that one partner/ hood wife
I think being alone isn't as bad as being in bad company.
My husband and I are living very isolated. My husband had a stroke and is since wheelchair bound.
I saw everybody turn away. Even his mother and father. My family and his family. And friends too.
We got ghosted by everybody. I learned something from it.
We live in a illusion. Not a big illusion, but many many small illusions.
The world is a cold and dark place. Everybody is looking for themselves. And the devil has an Angel face.
So ... There are things worse then being alone. I pray and hope for salvation.
Sending love your way ❤️❤️
100% agree.
amen to that
Well said! 'The devil has an angel face!' 🙏🏼
You are so right
Robin Williams quote: I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.
Is he the source of advice on the subject?
It sounds like he was speaking from experience. If this can happen to a man as intelligent, funny, and witty as Robin Williams, we're screwed.
@@gt4032 I know. What I meant was, if _he_ can end up feeling that way while he's alive, we're screwed.
Also, I'm not sure he really did himself in. The way he passed is very suspicious. His son and daughter-in-law were trying to get him to move in with them for some time before he died, but they were unable to convince him to.
His death may have something to do with the people/person in his life who made him feel lonelier than if he was all alone.
super and what
@@dianecarman1979 it's from the movie "World's Greatest Dad".
i think what people forget about loneliness is after a while it becomes your comfort zone and it makes it really difficult to let someone in after years of dealing with it even if you want to break out of it, what seems to be comfort quickly turns into a mental prison and you see your life flashing before your eyes...
Not true… in my case.
“Person who’s afraid to be alone, is a person who’s afraid to be free” - Schopenhauer
So true!! On the other hand,. I'd rather walk with a friend in the darkness than walk alone in the light!!
@@nicolepuentes5570 You took the words right outta my mouth. I'm very independent and have the fortitude to live the remainder of my life alone if I must; but it's always preferable to have someone to share it with who don't mind carrying some of your burden even though you don't want anyone to have to.
Schopenhauer had a lot of friends.
@@thomasbarchen He had none. He even hated his own mother.
Hey Bjorn... I turn 65 this year. With the exception of a few months, I've been completely alone for 35 years. ( and I mean completely ) - It has nothing to do with my character or even my looks, or anything I can even fathom. It just is. It is a horror of solitute that no one would want ever want to live. Trust me on that. I can't emphasize enough how important it is to call people you know are alone, to visit them and to share with them etc. etc.. Face to face interaction is like oxygen. We all need it. The older you get, the more invisible you become but there's no way in hell that I will fade away. I'm too stubborn. Thanks for your show. Share whatever the hell you want. We will be here. Thanks.
I don’t care at this point if I fade away, but I do agree with most of what you wrote.
I’ve been pretty much alone (through no fault of my own) for about as long as you have (little bit younger than you).
It’s hard to find anyone who cares and understands. We live in a world of majority mindless superficial zombies.
Enjoyed your inspirational comment…🍻cheers
@@moritz2464 Thank you.
@Jack B Don't take this the wrong way, but that bitter resentment might explain why you've been alone so long. Don't get me wrong, if you'd rather be alone, that is absolutely okay.
So if you have been completely alone for 35 years, and hated the solitude. Why didn't you make friends? There must be a reason? Age has no barrier?Plenty of groups to join.
I rather be alone than be around people that make me feel alone, I quit drinking alcohol in the beginning of the pandemic and started a daily regiment of exercise and reading about various topics and I couldn’t be more happier
I quit drinking in 1999, when I saw what it did to certain people I stopped and stopped associating with anyone who drank it was such a bad feeling I got from them totally different person which was so upsetting! Alcohol can be very evil in some people it's unbelievable!
Congrats! It’s awesome that you took the opportunity to better yourself. Many ppl only looked at the negatives. In the end, we can only control ourselves.
Yup I stopped about 5 yrs ago . I didn't plan on it or even have any reason at the time .. It's been a positive experience for me as I used to do it a bit too much . But I'm really glad I did in hindsight I guess sometimes we don't need to know the reason why at the moment ....but in time it becomes clear some part of you knows the why.
~I did that, too!~I quit right before any of the pandemic stuff started, then when they tried to keep people from sunshine & fresh air & exercise, i got as much of all those things as i could!!!~Congrats on your sobriety!!!~☆~
@@nicolepuentes5570 Yes I kind of envy people who can drink in reasonable moderation. I'm not one of them. I have to stay on the wagon 24/7. I've always been socially awkward because of a narcissistic ignoring mother when young (she taught me nothing but how to be prey for predators). So in order to feel like I belonged, I would drink lots of alcohol for liquid courage. And the only time I was ever "accepted" was among the drunk partying crowd. So now if I ever try to just have a little, I end up over doing it. And I hate what it does to me.
When you talk about your personal life and feelings, you reach others who have no platform, and no-one to talk to. What you're doing is very important for society.
I've always been a loner. I don't see the world the way most people do.
This played to my advantage during most of life, especially with the plandemic.
I don't connect to people who talk about fashion or TV. I'd rather be in the woods.
Same,in fact to the degree of being a different species altogether.(Not even close to joking!) 👍
same im like kakyoin from jojo
Ditto. Growing up in different countries with military parents, and after spending 20 years in the military, I learned to deal with life being alone. Now, I'm retired and still alone, but I love it.
@@glendacastillo6504 how old are you though, im 36 and the die alone without anybody crying for me thought hit me really hard. Until now i truly didnt care but all of the sudden it does
@leonardo crow I'm 49 years old. I do have a 24-year-old old son who lives with me. I'm actually happy not having a husband. That's what I meant.
I'm a 34 year old single male. I live alone, I eat alone, I sleep alone. I do everything alone. I've been permanent work from home in my "career" since 2019. My only form of social interaction is when I see my parents. Luckily I moved and bought a house about 10 minutes away from them. I have no friends. I haven't dated in over six years. I quit drinking two years ago and the last of my "friends" disappeared soon after. I have no one in my life. I am constantly reminded in my day to day that I should just disappear. People treat me, at best, when I'm out and about, as a nuisance, and at worst as the absolute worst part of their day. It's awful. I'm not a fat ugly loser, either. I'm a bald, tall, in shape man, but I'm treated like a second class citizen now. Some days I can barely make it to the end of the day. I work out, or work on my house to get out the angst it creates in me. I'm really struggling.
Keep the faith mate, i'm 50 and feel the same way.
❤
It's temporary, your person hasn't found you yet. Stay visible so they can see YOU.
Get out hiking if you can. We were designed to move.
@@LilyGazou I do, actually love it. I ride my bike 10-20 miles a day. Went almost 15 today. I also lift weights.
No one tells you about the hallow loneliness that happens when you re kids grow up and go away. It’s deafeningly quiet. But those grandkids brighten your hearts and fill those sad times. I have realized that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life, so when those lonely hours come, I go outside and work on my old farm, and pittle around outside.
I'm glad you have your Grandchildren. Children are truly so beautiful. Inside and out. May your farm bring joy and abundance.
So lucky you are to have a farm!
At least u have kids.
Isolated. Not one incoming call or txt from large family or children (all took the "treatments" ) There was a large gathering, I mailed gifts ahead of time to the aging parents, but was not told of the gathering location or invited. This has happened on holidays for years now. These holidays are always very painful. Bjorn thank you for this video.
I am wondering if we were surrounded by robots all of the time pretending being our families, machines that feed from trauma electrical beings that suck life force. Humans we are all original from beyond the sea and we were put here for harvest by a other spece. So most of tge rest wd see as just this spece and robots. Metrópolis is real
Big hugs, Mary xxx
All i can say is WOW your family and friends fell hook line and sinker hard for this bullshit.
I know its hard for you im sure but in the end you have a clear conscious and you were right !
In the end they will see the light and relize they were 100% wrong.
@@gail3318 Thank you dear, and my hugs to to all the others who need them too.
What they are isolating you because you didn’t take the vaccine? that’s crazy, if one travels or goes anywhere surely they must be crossing the paths of the unvaccinated all the time.
there is a crisis of loneliness in the west, with divorce, loss of religion, loss of friendship, loss of tribe and no amount of materialism or sex can substitute for love and meaning.
Thank you for talking about loneliness. Too many empty chairs at the table. Most people that I loved are dead. The ones I could talk to and feel their love. Most people now just want to talk about themselves and never listen in return. I don’t miss them. So not really lonely so much as alone. Without most of those that I loved.
Yep, loneliness and depression are very real. As a single woman without kids, I've felt this way for years, but I think it is getting worse. I don't fit the typical stereotype for what society thinks is "normal," and the loneliness and depression get worse over time.
Same here Janey... It's getting worse I don't fit in with the average person.🕊️🤍
Hugs, I feel the same way, it's hard. Wishing you all the best.
Don't give in to "their" demands for conformity! Keep seeking yourself and don't give up!
Ditto! I’m a teacher too so it’s all centered around kids or others kids and teachers are very programmed and a bit dull. So yeah I’m like the total weirdo 😂. It’s definitely got harder since convid as I’ve lost friends over that too 😮
Kids grow up and do their own thing anyway. I love my kids dearly but they don't need me very much these days.i have dogs and I love them , they need me and I need them, they are wonderful friends and companions. Sending you a virtual hug , love and peace to you 🙏👍
Yes harder times may be coming, but everyone hold on. The human spirit is resilient! We are descendants of people who came through hard times, and they have passed on to us there fortitude, courage. Accept that gift and use it wisely in the time to come. We are all connected, much love, and respect to all of you.
Very well said 👌🏼
For another take on the “all connected theory” please take a peek at the sanity machine for another less mainstream theory.
That’s a soul trap stuck in an endless loop of the human recycle bin meme
I don't think "fortitude and courage" are genetic 🤣.
Those are some very wise words of wisdom. well said , well said indeed. Take care
Thanks for posting this 🌼
Loneliness....i try to taste it on my tongue...i never have been a people person...i like being Alone being in peace with myself and nature...i talk to my cat i talk to Animals... Wish you all the best Bjorn....
Skåll ☕
After reading your comment it really resonated with me because it kinda reminded me of myself .
Thank you , animals and nature are the best medicine .
I talk to Animals and my Cats also.
😸
I am not really a people person either, if I do meet people we share volunteering etc together. Then I go home
I lost my younger brother to cancer last week. I have an emptiness in my heart even as I am surrounded by my wife, son, and coworkers.
Take care of yourself, yeah?? No way out, only through.
I lost my stepson last week to a heart attack.
Only time I haven't felt lonely was time spent with some of my kids. He was their brother.
Later today, tomorrow, the next day, I will write him a letter. I will write to him because writing is something I do.
You & I, we do not know each other. But we are both walking through the depths of grief, at the same time. We will just keep doing the next thing in front of us. As time goes on, your brother will always be there with you. As will Chris, who I always considered to be my son. Everywhere I go, he will be there. He is part of the fabric of my life. Your brother is part of yours. And since you & I are still here, still breathing, we shall each live. We shall live a beautiful, worthy life.
Thank you for what you wrote. It actually helped me to feel less lonely because I know that you are going through the same thing as I am. Grateful for that. Truly.
❤
I feel this. So many people don't want to connect anymore in the physical world. They want everything on social media.
I'd much rather Connect in the Physical world. Hugs mean Everything. I Can't Believe So many people have actually bought the Lie that Social media is better when you could Ride A 2-Stroke Dirtbike, 70MPH SEADOO, Climb mountains ⛰ Mountains like MT RAINIER. Very Disgusting and LAZY by Most people participating.
I've lived alone for many years and don't speak to anyone (I'm a high-functioning autistic). I go to the supermarket just to be around people. I know that is pathetic but it's true. Some days the emptiness is overwhelming. Thank you for talking about this so honestly.
I go to the store alot too just to do something! I'm a hermit in the winter hate it and I don't have a car so I walk and take the bus everywhere!!!
I think I am autistic. I do enjoy going to cafes and hearing the buzz. I do have lots of special interest hobbies and volunteer. i am not hugely lonely as I like my own company a lot, though it would be nice to have someone to go to restaurants or the cinema.. although I would prefer the conversations short or I will get bored
Sorry about that bro.
@@beaulieuc8910 I think I'm turning Japanese. I really think so.
I don't think it's pathetic at all, in fact it is probably way more common than people talk about. I myself have been there for a couple of years. Not sure it helps to know this, but you are far from the only one doing something like this.
Thank you for talking about this. I've been alone for decades now and some days the loneliness is bad, others not so much. We are not designed to go through life alone.
We’re all differently assembled 😅
I seem to have arrived at that point. I hike with groups but that is only weekly. My relationship fizzled two months ago because he was not really emotionally available. My son is grown up and has his own life. The emptiness is overwhelming. Personally I welcome your talks, wisdom and perspective - a friendly companionship I crave. And of course I feel alienated from those who are sucked into the dumbed down, overfed, over pampered lifestyle 😳
The question is if they are machines already... it seems to me most people we see are and never were humans.
Same
ND, many I speak with feel this way!
I can be your friend!
💔
I want so badly to have a sense of community. I have spent the past year trying very hard to make connections, but it's a strange world we live in now, and people are very disconnected. I feel you Bjorn! My kids are flying the nest, too.
At one time, I accepted loneliness with dignity. I have lived with this all my life and have no regrets.
I like that idea. Thank you.
I believe you.
This is the issue not so many people want to seriously talk about.
Thank you Bjoern
What a great topic I wish everyone could join but the sleepers are unconscious unfortunately, it boggles my mind how they are so clueless???
Yes, I recently started watching tarot readings and not one of them addresses this issue !! It is crucial and they ignore it
@@horatio59 Which topic are you specifically looking for from Tarot videos?
Personally I prefer loneliness to people.
I don't know if you will ever read this Bjorn but just know you are doing great work here! I certainly appreciate you and a number of other content creators that are helping getting us through these troubling times. You and many others show us we are not alone. It's a strange world we live in where we have to find community online instead of the real world currently. Some of us are more fortunate to have community. But I am grateful I have one here. ❤️💪
I did read it and thank you!
It is one great reward that all this has brought. The connection with like minds that we may not have found otherwise
Don't know what country you are in, but Stand in the Park are in many countries, like minded people getting together on a Sunday, no agenda, just to chat.
@@sarahrepton9248 Yeah I wish there was some way we could recognize one another in public. Unfortunately the tares look just like wheat.....🙄😒You don't know what kind of person they truly are until after you've gotten burned by another one (again).🔥
At 73 I never expected to be so mistreated and blamed as this woman never blamed any generation as each has a history of hell and no blaming but now we have no way to meet anyone , so many lonely people where do they all come from , and the Beatles said this in late 60's !! where did we all come from ?? why has this happened or planned ?? was this planned to drive us to commit the big S word, not allowed by the word police ,idiots !! I have no community , they died, they left at my orders for being narcississtics and people been showing thier true colors since the planned pandemic of mass psychosis !! I am not Borg or a Zombie/sheep !
Loneliness is a Perspective..I sometimes feel Loneliness when amongst others, but never so when I live in solitude & Peace.. Be Happy Within Yourself.
I'm 60 from Australia & I've been totally lonely for 40 years, I have become an introvert, not by my choice, I don't even get a phone call from my daughter & I can't call her either, Thanks for the wonderful speach, new sub here too 😊
This is an interesting video , after my experiences with other humans I actually prefer being alone .
I don't feel lonely , I can gather my thoughts , think more clearly about how to tackle everyday problems .
Bjorn is old enough to realize being alone shouldn't make you lonely but make you more of a thinker .
Beware of other humans , don't rush to make friends because you have the illusion of loneliness .
When you no longer fear being alone, you have freedom and courage - and the ability to form healthier relationships.
Thank you for your reply , so so true .
You know I recently became an atheist because I truly want to be free from anything and everything .
change and evolution is inevitable in life
@@jennifersmall4027 Well said, Jennifer.
Mee too.
Feel better than ever having nothing to with the Crazies.
This loneliness epidemic was also designed like the plandemic was. Everything is connected. Those are trolls ...bots attacking you.
Your correct. Divided people are easier to control. And fear is their main weapon.
Very true
absolutely I was.thinking the same
Well said ❤
Tiktok is riddled with bots that attack
I am deeply fearful now. There has been a shift over the last years. But I think that most people are ignoring it or they don’t feel it. I am by nature a loner but feel increasingly isolated. I am standing alone watching the world sleepwalk to destruction. To soothe my mind, I garden and hug my dogs. And I wait.
Did you ever read Candide by Voltaire?
Yes, in university. I have not thought of it in years. Perhaps it is time to read it again. Thank you.
@@PamsMountainGarden Yes, I only mentioned because what you said in your post reminded me of his thread of life-philosophy that he weaved through the book. To say it simply, when the world is going crazy and up is down and down is up and the world is full of madness that he would still contentedly tend to his own garden, no matter what.
The sleepers are holding us back!!! They refuse to wake the fu... Up!! The time will come when it's too late and they will be left behind or not make it! It's absolutely mind-blowing!!
@@allencollins6031 Perhaps too many are tending their gardens where more should be trying to right the world back up again, just a thought.
There's a newer trend, too, of guys like me in their 30s to mid-20s, that feel this way. I think we've lost hope of getting married and having kids or we just don't want them for whatever reason. And it makes us feel like we no longer have a purpose in life unless we do some kind of specialized work and even then the work doesn't make us feel less lonely.
Thank you for doing this subject and video, I've been needing it for awhile now. It helps knowing it's not just me.
As an optimistic nihilist, I embrace having no purpose. I wouldn't have it any other way.
I think there are A LOT of people who feel this way. I have adult children, busy living their own lives. I see them occasionally but most of the time I am alone. My ex husband has remarried and the kids spend a lot of time with them. They have money and take them on trips. I can only offer them a home cooked meal. We all have a story I guess. Please don’t give up on finding someone special. It happens suddenly most of the time. I am 55 years old & I have seen a lot of people, who thought they would never find someone, fall in love.
@@Phoenixpwrsonifoed The idea of being with another person sounds like literal Hell to me, to the point where I would resent that person for existing, and wish death upon them, so that I may regain my freedom. Therefore, when you say, "please don't give up on finding someone," you are telling me to actively attempt to put myself into a position where I will perpetually wish death upon someone.
I don't think I have to explain how messed up that is. I realize this was not your intention; however, please consider this before telling others how to live their lives.
@@Phoenixpwrsonifoed Sorry, thought you were replying to a different thread, with people who said they DIDN'T want to find partners! Forgive my hostile reply; it doesn't apply to you. My apologies!
Look at how western women behave now. Even if you want to get married it's not a viable option. It was done intentionally.
Better alone than with the wrong company, I often tell myself this, it helps.
You are a calm, true fair voice in this storm. Keep being you many are with you.
It’s strange that the more interconnected we are with gadgets and technology the lonelier that we have become. Like Bjorn, I too have centered my life around the protection of and providing for my family, tasks I lovingly and willingly do. However I can see how when they are gone how I will miss them.
At least you have a family. I have nothing, dating was filled with so much rejection it got unbearable. I’m truly for every sense of the word lonely
Nothing is more healing than a walk in the woods. You are correct there are more lonely people in this world than ever before….greetings from crazy Canada!
Or a walk by the ocean
Those waves will surely lift your spirits and make you feel grateful for your life
The universe has got you 🌔
Or a walk IN the ocean
Loneliness is a state of mind , not a physical condition . Some people can feel lonely in a room surrounded by people
This is so true for me. I feel at peace when I'm actually alone however around most people that's when I feel lonely. I have no connection or anything in common anymore with most. Very interesting indeed. 🤔
Tell that too people that lost their family
@Bob Mathews yes it is a state of mind. Alone and loneliness are 2 very different things However when alone time becomes a permanent state it takes a toll. We are meant to be social beings.
@@RedWolfenstein relax
A lot of truth there. But the physical, emotional, and spiritual are all connected so loneliness can actually be a physical reality. Humans need touch. For example babies will die if they don't receive touch. I see being human as both a blessing and a curse.
Your family will still need you, just in a different way. Stay strong!
I appreciate your honesty. I'm an "empty nester" now and have downsized. I'm still trying to work out what I'm supposed to do as I've invested most of my life and time raising my children. Guess I just need to get to know "me" again. Thank you for talking about this. Take care, Bjorn.
I'm right there with you. Kids grown, NOW what am I supposed to do? Overwhelming at times, when your entire identity has been removed
I went through the same deep sadness/loneliness when my children left home one after the other. Along the way my husband and I lost that “something” we started off with and quickly realized we only had the kids’ interests in common. “Now who am I?” was my question, and I felt lost.
Then all of a sudden, (2 years ago) we were blessed with a granddaughter. The light of my life!
But still, I wonder, if it’s healthy to get ALL my joy from being a grandmother.
Being childfree by choice, I have always been 'me'. I have a lot of hobbies and I do volunteering. I do have to get used to the evenings when it is more tricky. As I get older I will have to get my act together socially as people my age will die off etc so it is important for me to be working in mixed age groups etc. I really don't mind not having kids or grand kids. it means I have more time for travel and adventures
i lost both my parents in my late 20s, you're still needed even if you don't feel it
I am giving up because I am crippled over 70 and have literally no other options. There truly is nor will there be any possible options in what is left of my lifetime. We have all been steered in this direction and I am closest to the edge of the abyss and sliding into it with nothing and no one to hold onto. By the time people realize what happened to me it will be too late. Then they will shrug and go to Starbuck’s. That’s all I meant to them.
I feel awful too. I have dogs and cats all my life and even they are not so enjoyable anymore. I feel I’m a bit outside myself watching me be defeated. I sleep or distract myself all the time. Its not easy.
You are spot on Bjørn. My Daughter is 24 now, has a great career, is getting married this summer, I raised her as a single Dad (full custody with divorce) from 2005. We only see each other about 4 or 5 times a year now text now and then....the "not needed" part you said really hit me, I cried because that's me. Thank you.❤
Don’t worry! You’ll be needed when grandkids come around. And you’ll get to have all the fun and then give them back lol.
You are still needed, just knowing you are there for your children is being needed.
I am so incredibly glad that i am not needed by anybody at all. Feels free.
I am childfree and loneliness is something that comes to us, but I do volunteering and meet people that way and if I get the time I do adult education classes. I have some social life but in the evenings it is more difficult or going to the cinema or restaurant but I can't have everything
@@snörre23 same here, but I do like to make time for my voluntary work
When we started put our seniors in care centers and nursing homes that is when the loneliness began.
It will not end untill our elders are brought home. Untill there are 3 generations once again living in the same household.
Totally agree.
Once ' motility ' began...
Bicycle, cycles,cars,trains & planes.
We decide to leave home & gain adventure.
No one is happy ' content ' to be where they are.
Yes, void. Understood..... still working on ' doing something '.
Being a Mother who homeschooled 5 children WITH a mini-farm to boot...there IS VERY MUCH a void once they are gone. The farm is gone as well.
My solution was to become a pet sitter for other folks who wish for vacation time.
While I do miss my children, I do so enjoy each different pet I am with.
Thus, when I am home alone, it is a new type of JOY.
Best to every one to find a purpose.
I am never lonely because I enjoy my own company. I love gardening, reading books, watching the birds and nature.
I love me time.
Me to but it gets weird sometimes, like everyone else is having the perfect life and I’m missing out on something.
Loneliness is a mental game. It gets to me too but I tell myself it could be worse. And it could ! And, remember, better to be alone than with the wrong person.
I feel your loneliness. 2 of my 3 kids are still at home, youngest is 14 and I feel less needed.
It’s a transition both as a parent and also for my kids who are becoming more independent.
It’s both Joy and Pain, Sunshine and Rain.
Btw, I love hearing your personal stories.
I'm where you are, and it's a weird spot. Kids grown, living in a town I hate, isolated and alone for long periods of time.
I don't know where to go from here, but getting a job is my first step.
Hopefully, the emptiness you may be feeling will be filled with a few grandchildren in the future. Knowing you have family out there and you have visits to look forward to should be a comfort. I guess the people who have no one and nothing to look forward to feel the worse loneliness.
I am childfree by choice and being alone sometimes is part of our lives. However, I have learned to be busy and do lots of volunteering. I also run some hobby clubs. It is in the evenings that is tricky as there is no one to go to the cinema or restaurants.. however it is ok and it is enough for me. Being childfree means I have a lot of interests so during the day I am ok.
We are human beings and have the freedom to talk about what we feel like. The loneliness factor, I totally agree and can relate big time on that one. I am no stranger to loneliness, ever since the MeToo movement began, everything social took a major drastic hit. Covid put the finishing nails in the coffin. Then my age to top it off. location plays a part as well, but nothing I can do on that one at the moment. We are permanently divided now and it will be an uphill battle to reverse this, because of all this division.
Oh yes it will but doable!
What a glorious sound as you walk..now just imagine if our feathered friends or streams just never existed, that lonely feeling would be more pronounced in my eyes as nature is a helping hand.
@darthgardner, yes! I always say the world would be a lonely place without birds. No matter where you go, almost always there are birds, singing their beautiful songs and busily living their lives. And early mornings, before the human world awakens, that’s their time to rule the world ☺️
So very true... I have my dog ..just lost my best friend, a mastiff named Isabella.. so it's just myself and Sequoia my other mastiff.. as well as Clive, Lionel, Chips, Tom & Spud.. my birds who are in a very large Aviary so I sit inside the Aviary on my chair and just watch them being busy and listening to the chatter ..
We are alienated from nature, from our food, from our spirituality, from ourselves and from our tribe. We traded comfort and safety for all of the above.
Sometimes its better to be alone then be surrounded by backstabbers
I’m more elder and loneliness is no stranger. I’ve lived the majority of my life and seen as less a productive person. My kids are grown, have children of their own. I stand strong as a backup of knowledge and wisdom. I’m hoping they continue to keep the close bond we have. Family is everything to me. It’s heart breaking to see their struggles but I have to let them figure it out. I’m always there and they know it. I keep my distance on situations until I’m asked. If grieves me sometimes, the mama bear wants to make everything ok. Still the nurturing mom.
Bijorn - how lovely to actually hear a man opening up about this issue.
I was feeling upset the other day as to how my teenage son doesn’t want me around as much. We used to practically do everything together and were very close. I know it’s the right of passage for teens to start to pull away but it really stings as to how icy cold they can be.
It felt like my life changed into colour when my son was born and there was so much joy and excitement. Now it feels like things have gone back into black and white and everything is a bit ‘meh’.
Also having aging parents is horrible. You can see them deteriorating from the once healthy vibrant people they used to be. It’s like you have to be strong for everyone else but no one is really there for you.
Then there is worry about your own retirement and what plans and hopes you have for that. It just feels like you’ve reached most of your younger goals of family, relationships, work, hobbies and now it’s suddenly changing and becoming about retirement😂
Anyways, I try to stay upbeat around those who need me which kinda helps a bit.
Yes watching your mom or dad dying in front of you is the WORST ESPECIALLY if there is nothing u can do for them!!😪😪 Yes my niece is 12 and OMG need I say more! The lack of respect, no manners, do what they want, don't listen and on and on and on!! Maybe try telling them how u feel??? When they get older they will realize how important You are and maybe have some regrets! I'm a loner cuz I don't trust people, especially when they totally do a flip on you and it's devastating so I enjoy being alone or with my family even if we don't hang out much I know they are there!!❤️❤️ Just keep loving them ❤️👨👩👧👦
I remember that time and still haven't recovered. Loss is the worst thing to cope with as you age. You think you will cope because of all the things you did being busy, family, acquiring, learning, but losing the people who, usually, loved you best and knew you the longest you never get over. Blessings.
My children are 43 and 46. They are my best friends, after my husband. My son moved to another state yet calls me daily just to say hello and "I love you". Priceless.
We are never alone. Trees have souls. The planet is alive. There is no separation.
I've been married twice, had family life, generally felt alone the whole time, I've actually been alone by myself now for 4 years. I feel the same as i did when I was around people.
I have a hard time with people that think they can live in a world where they dont want to know each other. The loss of the sense of community is because people dont want to hear anything personal about anyone, and I think its a selfish outlook. I love connecting with my elders, I get to know their struggles and challenges and know who to turn to when I am going through my own trials. There is nothing new in this world, only that we each must go through the experience of it. But you are right that people do not tend to do well when they do it alone, there are exceptions of course but most of us need connection to thrive. I appreciate connecting with youtube creators that share their stories, it makes me see them as people and not just someone on a screen far away. Thank you for being real.
I need you brother. I listen to you and find peace. Even if I disagree with you on something I still feel at ease when it comes from you. Still hoping somehow to one day share a fire and coffee with you. You'll always be needed. The wisdom you possess can't be found in a book.
Priceless ❤️
People used to belong to churches, go to square dances, go to social halls coffee with the neighbors etc. Peeps are just to busy and cellular.
People equals problems they have gone insane and cannot be trusted.
Which is probably why the internet and social media is invented IMHO
“If you're lonely when you're alone, you're in bad company.”
― Jean-Paul Sartre
And Sahd Guru
My husband passed away last year of 48 years of marriage,im a widow,still cant wrap that around my head. Im so lonely and i try my best to be happy for my two daughters and my Grandchildren, my siblings and friends. But its hard because i miss him so.
I feel like im nothing,just in the way now. My heart is so broken 💔
Thank you, Bjorn. As I approach the Autumn of life I've realized the importance of familiar environment and social interaction you are fond of. Like an oak planted in the forest. Wish you the very best. You're one of the best damn trees I know.
Beautiful comparison.
Well said. I'm in the Autumn/Winter of life too. Unfortunately I'm a tree that has been constantly uprooted and unable to thrive.
@@deadreckoning6288 You will thrive, you just need to be planted in the perfect spot, meant, and waiting for you...Peace to you.
In the last decade or so, many of my friends and acquaintances have either moved on or died. I've also been discarded and forgotten by younger people I used to know who have grown up now, and that hurts a little. Despite feeling lonely from time to time I still have goals, hopes and dreams. I try to stay positive.
I've noticed that too with younger people I knew from my past. I stayed the same at heart but they grew cold and wanted nothing to do with me. I grew spiritually/emotionally and they stagnated.
my loneliness is having people around, but virtually none of them relate to my personal values. the one who does is far away and i cannot maintain sufficient contact. so here i am listening to bjorn. one of my last reliefs.
Same here I feel that way sometimes. I can’t relate to people not because necessarily we have to believe the same things but the principles and standards of respect and kindness etc is not there. So I can’t be part of anything. Those that do believe in bettering humanity are all separated live far away from each other.
I know people (mostly men) who are confident in themselves and are "thinkers". They tend to stay to themselves by choice. And they are very happy. One said to me when we were having lunch together recently that so many people he knows of are preoccupied with trying to impress others with material items such as a new vehicle, latest clothing trends, most recent cell-phone release, etc. He said that he is ok being alone with his thoughts. It brings him peace and happiness. I can understand this viewpoint. I have witnessed that the "keeping up with the Jones' " is a game of debt and eventually going broke. Most importantly, nobody really cares what you drive/have anyway. This friend of mine as mentioned above controls his exposure to the public. It probably is the best policy in today's time. Particularly with how people have changed so much-usually not for the better.
I’m a single woman and my kids are grown. I know how you feel Bjorn about feeling like you are not needed as much anymore. I do however have a job where I am needed too much. I’m a nurse who wants a new profession after these last 3 years. I didn’t take the treatment and was treated terrible as a result. I think I would like to literally go live in a cabin in the woods away from all people and write. I’m an extreme introvert however, so I think that is helpful.
Hello, thanks for making this video.
No one is made to live alone. People saying showing emotions is weak.. I don't get that. It's the opposite imo. Loneliness is my daily struggle. Anxiety disorder isn't a lot of fun. Social media is making people more lonely as never before. Backpacking / wildcamping is saving me. And my 3 dogs for sure. All we need is love and understanding.
Wish you the best.
Hiking and wild camping with my three spaniels has saved me too, over the last few years for sure....you definitely are not alone brother 👍
People need to grow some balls. Too many people are wimps nowadays. Loneliness is fiction. Understanding yourself and enjoying your own company is fact.
Nature is healing. One of the few things in this world that always makes me feel better.
One has to have a hobby these days. Maybe two or three ? It keeps a person busy & possibly they might meet other(s) with similar interests ?
You are so right. I have been feeling lonely since I retired. I don't really live alone. I have a little appartment downstairs from my daughter, her husband and her son. However there is not much interaction. They have their lives. There is nothing worse then feeling lonely when you are not alone. Almost everyday after I have attended Mass I will go to acoffee shop with a book for an hour or so just to feel life around me. It makes it so pathetic.
No you are spending time with you and that's beautiful, but I believe family should be together at least twice a week if possible! I always tell people to hug, love and make your mom and dad happy as much as you can cuz when they are gone then it's lonely
@@nicolepuentes5570 I would like to have someone to talk to sometimes. I keep busy but but I miss the interaction. I worked for 30 years in the Social Security office dealing with customers face-to-face. So it makes it harder for me. I like talking to people and I miss that human contact.
There may be other lonely people at that coffee shop who are blessed by a smile or kind word from you.
@@galerussell1710 I go to 4 different shops regularly and so have little chats with the staff, but short ones as they are working.
I regret retiring. As a woman alone in the world, I somehow underestimated how important that daily social interaction, as well as feeling a part of the living world and having a purpose and structure, really was to me.
Loneliness is a great gift, if you use it wisely.
Did you draw your avatar? It's other-worldly.
Thanks for sharing this with us,lots of people all over the world are feeling lonely right now.🏴🏴🏴
Even as a little boy I used to be so lonely it felt like being in a black hole and unable to see. An empty, consuming feeling. It reached a peak in my college years and then, for some reason, the loneliness faded away. Now I just turned 40 and prefer to be alone. I don’t know what changed.
Sounds like a plot of a Murakami novel.
That’s great it faded away!
I’ve been alone for a long time. I’m 60. Worked most of my life. Never been married. No kids. No siblings. Not much in the way of family. I have a few scattered friends but don’t spend much time with them. So I get what you’re saying.
But you do have your adventures. So that’s something.
I am childfree and don't have much family and that is ok. I do lots of volunteering and I have lots of hobbies. I don't feel lonely much although in the evenings it is more tricky... but I just keep busy. I really dont regret not having kids and grandkids.. I love my freedom
Bjorn, you partially inspired me to get into sailing. This summer will be my first full season of sailing. I felt that I had no real healthy or worthwhile hobbies, and particularly none that got me in touch with a community. The sailing community is one of the best; everyone is keen to help you and wish you well and give you helpful tips. Sailors are genuinely happy for one another.
I'm never fully alone. Hel is walking by my side. And as i see where the world is going, her company is more and more comforting.
I’m a retired Psychotherapist. My understanding is that people require relationships that are meaningful to be healthy and happy. We need people.
In all ways, I try to pursue meaningful relationships.
The separation and destruction of social contact is toxic to the mind,body and spirit.
I think what you are doing is great. Wishing you the best.
Your last name is delightful. 🏰🍓
Friends are over-rated. You can become anything you want and it is all up to you.
I find most people are just users or jealous of me. A true friend? Very hard to find.
First time watching . . . all very strange to me . . . I've just passed seventy, have no family to speak of and really no close friends besides my wife; however, I've never been lonely . . . love my own company and the world is packed full of more things to do than I can ever hope to indulge. We are all going to die, that is a given and we will never know death, because death is not of the living. I only hope that when I die it will not be drawn out and I hope I shall not have to depend on anyone. I came to the realization long ago that family, money, fame or indulgence will never bring you happiness. Happiness comes, when you go back into your mind and have a conversation with self and ascertain what makes you truly happy and content, then apply yourself to that goal. I think too may folks are using their eyes to seek happiness, looking in the wrong direction. I heard a saying once that made me laugh and also made me say right on, "the graveyards are full of folks who would love to take on the hardships you are finding so difficult". Cheers. PS (A hobby: I love the old stories and I try to record all that I've heard, I've always been a listener and observer).
You are a unicorn! A listener!
I think it’s very nice to have UA-camrs share about their families. More personal touch because we are like an extended family
At least this is a resource. I don't know how I randomly found this but no mention from any remote workers which I am. Sounds
goods on the surface you don't have to commute but it is very isolating and depressing at times.
@@russell9868 we are in a community of solitude, but we have each other. 🕊
Hope everyone had a happy Easter with family and friends.
Real loneliness is spending a large portion of ones life feeling utterly alone and disconnected from the world and in a state of anguish.
Investigate your loneliness. Don't stay at the level of thought, look deeply into the feeling.
The real cure for loneliness is underneath it. Worldly "solutions" are only temporarily, they come and go.
Sit with your loneliness and do not judge it. Just look at it and persist with that. The mind will only sell you thoughts if you're open for business.
I hate being around people. The last 3 years have been, hands down, the best years of my life. I lost my job, so I started a small business and now I don’t care about having a job. I was at that company for 18 years and I have only remained in communication with 1 single person from that company, and that isn’t someone who I really consider a “friend”, but more of a former co-worker who occasionally reaches out and we’ll text back and forth for a couple of days.
All that said, the topic of other people’s loneliness interests me. I find it fascinating. I say ‘get to know yourself’ and you’ll have a new best friend.
I say get grounded, take off your shoes, go barefoot, and ground yourself, the universe and earth are going thru changes, most feel it, but don't know what it is, be of sound mind, by connecting with earth," were we came from, instead of being involved in the craziness of this world, ground yourself, it's going to get ruffer.
@@hearthecrysofthecrusaders3357 funny you say that - I have numbness in my feet, for a couple of years at this point. Today, because the weather allows, I committed to not wearing socks and this is the first day in a long time that I’ve remained barefoot for this long. I actually took my shoes off for a bit while we were walking the dog. But yes, we garden and being connected to the earth - directly physically connected - is something that just makes life better. Great advice.
Hey Björn. I just travelled for 6 weeks trough Vietnam & Thailand. It was an amazing experience, again! The social cohesion of their societies is still strong! Therefore , day by day I opened up more & more. I felt calmer, happier and finally like a normal human being again! Now Im back in Melbourne, Australia and wonder trough the suburbs to get rid of the jetlag: the difference is gigantic! What a disfucntional society, the western society has become. No warmth nor interest in eachother anymore! All the best! 🙏🏼🛫
Im in sydney, about to go to the Amazon, i feel the same way here - people are like units now and suburbia is a living mindless hell !!!1
@@Paulathompson1712 blank expresion - zombie faces . Filled with fear. Enjoy your holiday in the Amazon! Perhaps enjoy some Burundanga or mind expanding sessions with the natives! 😎
I agree, it is a society problem. It was not like this when mothers mostly stayed home and raised their own children. Without that there is no community
I've been lonely and isolated since my early 20s, and I'm a man. At 46 not much has changed with that. It does get worse as you age. Eventually the world you know begins to shrink, as people die off. You eventually become an observer of life, rather then someone living it. It builds a philosophical wisdom beyond what you would have preferred to not have known. It's like the Matrix. It's not something that you can explain to someone unless they have seen it for themselves. It's also very much like Plato's analogy of the cave, but within your mind. When you do make it out of that cave, you begin to observe that many people around you are stuck within it. Either way, you don't win. I haven't figured a way out of the loneliness, even after all of these years. I still hold onto hope but that hope is very diluted now.
Maybe a new form of monastic living would work.
@@LilyGazou I've surpassed that. I could teach the Dalai Lama a thing or two.😂 You know what I walked away with after all these years? The realization that we lie to ourselves about the meaning of our lives. It is what it is. Or as George Carlin worded it, " It just is, and so are we, for a little while." I wish I could be more positive about it but... Like animals rummaging through their lives, so do we. Due to the law of probability, some will have better lives than others. I had a friend who was isolated and lonely for many years. He eventually met a wonderful woman and settled down. He use to tell me how it was all worth it in the end because everything eventually works out. Shortly later he died in a car accident while she was pregnant with his child. All those years he was alone was a waste of his precious life. There was no meaning behind that. Like mentioned within this video, no one really has a solution to these problems. Unfortunately, many people don't realize how short life truly is. Or as John Lennon worded it, "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." Or CCR, "Someday never comes." That's true wisdom, for those who know! I'd like to see the Lama write lyrics like that. 😂
New tribes are forming, seek, and you will find. You will always be a father Bjorn, the only constant, is change, as mother nature shows . Love your insights & wisdom.
Thank you for everything you say. I'm very glad I found your channel about a month ago. I struggle with depression on a daily basis due to multiple traumatic brain injuries. I'm from the united states and I have a bit of Finish bloodline in me. My ancestor rowed a boat himself to the baltic region across the whole sea to find better land for farming. So I've always had a place in my heart for Norse mythology. And am very proud of my Nordic roots! Skal, brother!
I would rather be alone, then be around people that make me feel lonely while I am in their presence. I believe Robin Williams said that. The one thing I found about being alone is the calming peace you can find, with in your self. if you look for it you will find it.
As of lately, I find it increasingly difficult to interact with like minded people that know something very scary is right around the corner for us all. It's lonely and scary. I find that experiencing nature helps soothe that loneliness and pulls my soul back to a peaceful reality if that makes any sense.
From my heart...it is LOVE we need most. I am far from "lonely" as I have 5 kids and 10 grandkids, all of whom live close (within 20 miles) and are close as brothers, sister, aunts, uncles...we all care for each other and have deep roots in the area we live. From my observations it seems that people lack close family ties and even tribal community of land and home. I love your work Bjorn...keep 'em coming brother!
We also have 10 acres we garden on and raise chickens, etc. to stay busy mind and body. People need to also get back in touch with the land as well as their people.
We have been divided and don't even know it! Their goal for the New world order!
That sounds wonderful! 😍
Spot on we lost our humanity and we have normalised the abnormal