How to Deal With Loneliness

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  • Опубліковано 22 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 18 тис.

  • @divafever9754
    @divafever9754 2 роки тому +48084

    "I used to think the worst thing in life is to end up all alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone." ~ Robin Williams

    • @jimmyhand1259
      @jimmyhand1259 2 роки тому +608

      Yes, as an older woman who recently became alone I can so relate. I worry for today's young people in this modern society.

    • @noname-ye7zj
      @noname-ye7zj 2 роки тому +250

      I'm there right now buddy, just waiting for the day that my partner will tell me she's leaving me.

    • @sylviasanchez3685
      @sylviasanchez3685 2 роки тому +43

      So true.

    • @odeswarms
      @odeswarms 2 роки тому +256

      @@noname-ye7zj that’s no way to live man

    • @airadaimagery692
      @airadaimagery692 2 роки тому +199

      @@noname-ye7zj if I felt that way, I would be the first one to go, and leave now. You will regret not leaving her first if you know that she’s going to leave you.

  • @limchat2188
    @limchat2188 2 роки тому +20491

    "You be a strong man, you be a good man, and let the world rage around you." Love this.

    • @flightofthebumblebee9529
      @flightofthebumblebee9529 2 роки тому +306

      Me too. I am living in the world but I am not responsible for saving it. That doesn't mean I won't try to help people (and I'm not even talking from a Christian POV) and be a good person, but it's because I want to and because it makes me happy to be a good person.

    • @Azuchilimited
      @Azuchilimited 2 роки тому +58

      First comment already indicates it will be good, it's nice to see others perspectives

    • @jt_heili5326
      @jt_heili5326 2 роки тому +47

      Tattoo worthy

    • @armydude7137
      @armydude7137 2 роки тому

      almost wanna hang that in a frame right?

    • @RossoRover36
      @RossoRover36 2 роки тому +5

      @@jt_heili5326 too edgy man. Rather just get a portrait of Jesus .. even tho it says not too in the bible 🤔

  • @brianmuoki2394
    @brianmuoki2394 2 роки тому +9030

    As a young man I can listen to this guy forever. Nobody is speaking like this to us no more.

    • @John_Connor556
      @John_Connor556 Рік тому +157

      Jordan Peterson & DeWayne that’s bout it 💯

    • @funkysack288
      @funkysack288 Рік тому +238

      True. The hate for millennials an zoomers by the older generations just beat you down. This is a breath of fresh air.

    • @brianmuoki2394
      @brianmuoki2394 Рік тому +32

      @@John_Connor556 definitely bro

    • @MrRagnarxx
      @MrRagnarxx Рік тому

      @@John_Connor556 jordan peterson is a grifter and a christian ideologue. don't listen to him, he has nothing for you.

    • @DeadSomething
      @DeadSomething Рік тому +65

      as a boy scouts group leader i see lots of young people, girls and guys that are confused by our current social political ways of mistreating the truth. they are confused of their roles and their borders. it is frustrating at times and gives lots of headaches, but it's also the reason i do this voluntary work.

  • @lanac5642
    @lanac5642 5 місяців тому +618

    I’m a young woman watching this, and I’m so sorry. Every single guy watching this, you deserve good people to be around. You deserve a partner, life, friends and happiness. Please don’t give up on this world yet.

    • @Cade-JosiahVez
      @Cade-JosiahVez 4 місяці тому +10

    • @donquixote2072
      @donquixote2072 4 місяці тому +35

      I don't believe that, If I deserved them I'd have them, those things are earned.
      But I'm not giving up either.

    • @AngyAtchu
      @AngyAtchu 4 місяці тому +10

      I know its not all women but sometimes big movements like feminism can make them feel like they can tear everything down around them just to make a point and I am so fed up to what women do to the people around me.

    • @bakulubaka8661
      @bakulubaka8661 4 місяці тому +27

      We didn't give up, society gave up on us.

    • @درشماجد
      @درشماجد 4 місяці тому

      @@musicandairplanes6330 Will you marry again ?

  • @JuanGerardoHernandez
    @JuanGerardoHernandez Рік тому +5975

    True:
    Until you get comfortable with being alone, you'll never know if you're choosing someone out of love or loneliness

    • @RaveGamer519
      @RaveGamer519 Рік тому +86

      100% out if lonliness

    • @jkl-x7p
      @jkl-x7p Рік тому +31

      more or less, as an anti-social person in the majority of time, i can say it would be out of love cuz if u like or get use to loneliness you won't feel lonely...

    • @paulaverbeck2393
      @paulaverbeck2393 Рік тому +10

      this hits hard thank you

    • @hondahirny
      @hondahirny Рік тому +3

      I very much agree. Great thoughts!

    • @troll2637
      @troll2637 Рік тому +5

      OK thanks! More stuff to hold me back.

  • @bigbean78
    @bigbean78 2 роки тому +2478

    A friend of mine once said, “If the person you’re with isn’t lifting you up, they’re dragging you down.” This made me realize that statement applies to how you treat yourself also.

    • @karlpage9028
      @karlpage9028 2 роки тому +45

      Thats tough, because my wife suffers from depression, and has a hard time controlling that, and the every day emotions are not always controllable. I wouldn't say that statement works for every situation.

    • @Vat6ré
      @Vat6ré 2 роки тому +23

      @@karlpage9028 I agree but I’d also say,if the person you’re with forces you to confront the ugly parts of yourself even if it’s to meet theirs,so long as it’s based in real selfless love,I think that’s a form of uplifting

    • @Astelch
      @Astelch 2 роки тому +12

      well a person could be neutral as well...every person u meet doesnt necessary need to encourage you or lift you.

    • @Peck_Bull
      @Peck_Bull 2 роки тому

      👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻🍻

    • @firebirdstark
      @firebirdstark 2 роки тому +2

      Yes, but the more we are actively thinking about ourselves, not how to help others, makes us more miserable. It’s a balance

  • @moondrop11
    @moondrop11 Рік тому +2858

    We don't need more people like this man, we need to be like this man.

    • @crazymonkey9332
      @crazymonkey9332 Рік тому +28

      that’s how we help each other out

    • @peterh.1521
      @peterh.1521 11 місяців тому +3

      Yes but it end up in the same way, everything is good.

    • @Mary_QQQ
      @Mary_QQQ 11 місяців тому +11

      This advice is just as relevant to good women with bad experiences with problematic men

    • @DorothyPotterSnyder
      @DorothyPotterSnyder 11 місяців тому +7

      No, you need to be yourself.

    • @slayer04031974
      @slayer04031974 10 місяців тому +4

      ​@DorothyPotterSnyder Its starts with listening and understanding. What he trying to get you to understand.

  • @CygnusX-11
    @CygnusX-11 3 місяці тому +128

    Many people label themselves "lonely" but most of them don't have the slightest idea about what true loneliness feels like. That feeling of utter hopelessness you get every single day you wake up, knowing that you have no plans, no place to be, no one to meet, no one to talk to. Even your own family don't know how morbidly lonely you are and you can't even tell them. And you slowly start getting consumed by your mind that has been starved of human interaction for soooo long. Imagine repeating this scenario every single waking hour.

    • @BoomBang101
      @BoomBang101 3 місяці тому +9

      exactly. i'm in your exact situation right now. I feel so alone and helpless. it's eating my mind

    • @oreocat2884
      @oreocat2884 3 місяці тому +5

      true loneliness is the feeling of not being connected to another human being it does not matter how many people are around you or if you are around anyone at all
      i do get you man im going on 5 years of being truly alone as in physical loneliness but "lonely" most my life came back because
      I found out about a crush I had and hurts to see them moving along in life with everyone else and me being behind without a way to connect to them
      stay strong become comfortable with yourself and you will make it through

    • @tripplethicc626
      @tripplethicc626 3 місяці тому

      real

    • @tripplethicc626
      @tripplethicc626 3 місяці тому

      whats worst is when u do try making friends, u kinda hold back and have trust issues because of what happened in the past, people treated u badly and now u feel the need to careful each time u are talking to someone, and the biggest issue for me is that when i feel lonely, i suddenly have a surge of hope and i say i need to give the effort of talking to people and thats one of the reasons why im lonely, but the main reason for my lonliness was because i was paired up with the wrong people, and when ever i have the chance to get to talk to people, for what ever reason its the days where i have the chance i feel socially akward and shy at the time when i have the chance to talk to people... .but whenever i feel hopefully and all that saying and planning what im going to do, those are the times when im at home. like it sucks, i can have days and weeks feeling socially akward and shy for days and weeks, and its like a cycle im trying to break, to all the people reading this good luck and i hope u guys find the right people to be with and thrive with....

    • @TCC4118
      @TCC4118 3 місяці тому +1

      Imagine this scenario exactly, but *with* human interaction

  • @Secretary.of.Education
    @Secretary.of.Education Рік тому +2825

    I turned to alcohol heavily for 3+ years to deal with being lonely. All my family is 2,000 miles away. I'm 5 days sober which isn't a lot, but I'm trying to learn to deal with it in healthier ways. Thanks for your video

    • @DrivenByDunni
      @DrivenByDunni Рік тому +92

      Proud of you brother keep it up !

    • @Secretary.of.Education
      @Secretary.of.Education Рік тому +73

      @Hayden Gorman Thank you so much man. It's not easy kicking out cold turkey. But I'm determined! Doing AA has really helped so far

    • @escandaloso9052
      @escandaloso9052 Рік тому +23

      keep goinggg

    • @Secretary.of.Education
      @Secretary.of.Education Рік тому +70

      @escandaloso I lost it on day 6...back to the drawing board...but thank you man. It's brutal

    • @s0cratic511
      @s0cratic511 Рік тому +18

      @@Secretary.of.Education I believe in you

  • @ericdegroot828
    @ericdegroot828 Рік тому +1197

    I am alone & got a dog, we go hiking and camping & go to parks , I don't feel alone anymore & my dog shows true love & loyalty. So much happier than I ever was .

    • @Mabisyoo
      @Mabisyoo Рік тому +41

      man i feel that so hard, it’s gonna hurt when he passes

    • @madebyarman
      @madebyarman Рік тому +47

      @@Mabisyoo WTF

    • @Me4peace
      @Me4peace Рік тому +52

      The only soul that has ever loved me unconditionally was my sweet dog. He was my doggie soulmate. I'm praying he is there waiting when it's my time to cross over.
      I'm so glad you have found that kind of love, too.

    • @yujinkizoku
      @yujinkizoku Рік тому +29

      A dog's love truly is one of the best things that can happen in life.

    • @stophatingeachother9762
      @stophatingeachother9762 Рік тому +31

      Cat friends are great, too.

  • @nathanmcmichael9772
    @nathanmcmichael9772 Рік тому +2546

    "You're never lonely, if you like who you're alone with." I carry this thought with me every day. A very powerful mindset that I believe every man should cultivate.

    • @KL-kw7qw
      @KL-kw7qw Рік тому +28

      Easier said than done my friend, but it’s the goal

    • @coreone3697
      @coreone3697 Рік тому +6

      I see a flaw on that

    • @hawksafe
      @hawksafe Рік тому +17

      A person who hates being alone finds himself in bad company

    • @shantazayan8807
      @shantazayan8807 Рік тому +1

      If you have the ability to choose who you want to be alone with then you are not truly lonely.

    • @gigiiirenee1996
      @gigiiirenee1996 Рік тому +1

      This is true! I get more satisfaction trying to make myself happy instead of trying to please someone who thought it was normal to diappear and go no contact whilst working away for days/weeks/months and after years of enduring this, threw a tantrum when I did it back to him. This man had double standards and I could never measure up enough for him despite keeping well groomed, paying all the bills, educating myself, remaining loyal to him. These days, I'm at a point where I would like someone but not necessarily "need" someone in my life. After 4 years I decided I will no longer settle.

  • @sasan.bf12
    @sasan.bf12 5 місяців тому +39

    I'm an 18 year old boy from Iran and it has been a while since I was watching your videos and I really like you sir
    My Father is an Iranian- American and when I showed him this video
    He said that this man is a real American
    Thank you for your kind words ❤️

  • @Ucantreasonwithme
    @Ucantreasonwithme Рік тому +893

    "You don't want to be alone with you because you beat yourself" drove me to tears. This realization drove me to tears.

    • @gingermuffin4292
      @gingermuffin4292 Рік тому +43

      I do the same. It helped when I took a step back to try and realize where all of the negative thoughts came from. I realized it was just all the things my parents had said about me or had believed about me. Which now helps me realize that it probably isn't true and should just be ignored. Not sure if this will help anyone but hopefully it does.

    • @Ucantreasonwithme
      @Ucantreasonwithme Рік тому +10

      @@gingermuffin4292 Hi, my parents said similar things. The part that made me cry especially is that I was doing this to myself, not because I hated myself, but because it was a learned behavior from our parents. We learned from them our poor qualities, and our self doubt amplified them.

    • @Xiomaro01
      @Xiomaro01 Рік тому +2

      Every single day

    • @ayoleman
      @ayoleman Рік тому +8

      A man can be himself only so long as he is alone; and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free

    • @ayoleman
      @ayoleman Рік тому +1

      Copium but it’s true in some aspect

  • @devinmatthew2285
    @devinmatthew2285 2 роки тому +2063

    I’m 21 and never really had a father, so thank you much sir for this talk, felt needed and I appreciate these words…

    • @FrancisFurtak
      @FrancisFurtak 2 роки тому +40

      That's hard you must believe in yourself at all cost. Do what you want and need to do!

    • @jimschuman9926
      @jimschuman9926 2 роки тому +30

      So sorry that your Father wasn’t around for you. One great thing that you can do someday if you have kids, is to be there for them. I raised two boys , who are grown up now, they were and still are the greatest joy in my life. I spent every free moment with them, and sadly they grew up way too fast. Good luck!

    • @MagnusMonsted
      @MagnusMonsted 2 роки тому +24

      Me neither buddy. I'm 19 and i sometimes feel like i must be missing some kind of secret that having a father around would bring and that the other guys in my school just "knows" maybe not even consciously. Not saying im a total weirdo but sometimes i just feel a bit off beat i guess.

    • @EncyclopediaX
      @EncyclopediaX 2 роки тому +8

      Read the first 27 pages of the Bible.

    • @EncyclopediaX
      @EncyclopediaX 2 роки тому +3

      @@MagnusMonsted be impeccable with your word. Don't make assumptions. Always do your best and don't take shit personally.

  • @annakellyd.350
    @annakellyd.350 11 місяців тому +1897

    "Nobody will destroy you, if you won't let them!" Well said.

    • @diginandpitchin
      @diginandpitchin 10 місяців тому +8

      Amen!

    • @angelashort1331
      @angelashort1331 10 місяців тому +3

      Sounds like something Donald Trump would say . ❤

    • @janpatterson6302
      @janpatterson6302 10 місяців тому +2

      Yes, we are in control

    • @SteveInLava
      @SteveInLava 9 місяців тому

      A lot of people who are very resolute/spiteful also need to be very calculated and collected in order to be successful.

    • @Abu_Ehmaid
      @Abu_Ehmaid 6 місяців тому +1

      16:35

  • @williammuljadi9247
    @williammuljadi9247 4 місяці тому +10

    Mr. Dwayne thank you so much, I lost my father when I was 16. I'm 28 now and I feel like I just listened heart to heart with him through you. Thank you

  • @JasonBlair
    @JasonBlair 2 роки тому +1215

    "You be a strong man, you be a good man, and you let the world rage around you."
    That's wisdom.

    • @shijagurumayumdeosharma
      @shijagurumayumdeosharma 2 роки тому +6

      Please do explain brother what does this rage around you meant

    • @JasonBlair
      @JasonBlair 2 роки тому +47

      @@shijagurumayumdeosharma it's from the end of the video. It means whatever is happening in the world around us, we choose to be good men regardless.

    • @CB-hd4fi
      @CB-hd4fi 2 роки тому +42

      @@shijagurumayumdeosharma It means don't be pulled into outside issues and controversies. Your life (and the people you love) and sense of purpose should be your focus. The rest is actually a diversion and can even be a form of avoidance of one's own life.

    • @mysteretsym
      @mysteretsym 2 роки тому +9

      @@shijagurumayumdeosharma dont contribute to the chaos and mayhem

    • @MrTobi013
      @MrTobi013 2 роки тому +5

      That made me cry. That's a man's wisdom and it was beautiful so needed.

  • @annsparling4131
    @annsparling4131 2 роки тому +902

    Never felt alone ever in my life, until I lost the 2 people who loved me most, my Mom and Dad. God Bless you sir and all you folks

    • @annettegenovesi
      @annettegenovesi 2 роки тому +42

      It's true that when you lose your parents you lose those who will always know you best, leaving you feeling like you're now in slippery waters.

    • @andrewcas8153
      @andrewcas8153 2 роки тому +14

      My condolences, not try to sound insensitive but treasure that feeling they gave you I could only dream my parents saw me!

    • @flightofthebumblebee9529
      @flightofthebumblebee9529 2 роки тому +19

      I'm sorry about your parents Ann. I'm 40 and mine are both still healthy and alive even though not together. I try to think of it that EVERYONE must die, but no parent should ever outlive their child, so we are in theory, condemned to watch our parents die at some point. We are lucky to of had loving parents and many don't. Mine will leave me one day and it will be hard but I will never live wreckless on drugs care free and let my mom or dad bury me. I OWE them that much. I'd rather cry for weeks, months, years, instead of letting my mom or dad have to bury me first and suffer the tragedy of seeing me birthed and seeing me dead. God bless

    • @flightofthebumblebee9529
      @flightofthebumblebee9529 2 роки тому +4

      @@annettegenovesi this is why I think you can form loving bonds with people everywhere all the time. Let people inside. Get to know them. Even online. Not because we have to but because we want to. I believe you reap what you sow and if you put kindness and positivity and things like that out into the world and society it will come back to you way more so than putting out negativity.

    • @annettegenovesi
      @annettegenovesi 2 роки тому

      @@flightofthebumblebee9529 Thank you polyanna

  • @precisioncontractors
    @precisioncontractors Рік тому +2497

    I’m 66 years old and buried my mother 12/26/22 and week later I lost my wife 01/02/23 to pancreatic cancer at 58 years old.
    I needed to hear this, this afternoon.
    Thank you for your time and video.

    • @feested3402
      @feested3402 Рік тому +59

      Stay strong gramps! There are people that need you still!

    • @jcbartman1618
      @jcbartman1618 Рік тому +50

      Stay strong brother. There’s times I feel like that. My wife died of cancer my soul mate but she would want me to be strong and move forward. I’m 44 years old. At the end God will put us together with those we lost.

    • @juanvela9665
      @juanvela9665 Рік тому +13

      Prayers for you 🙏🏼 everyone here. Much love ❤ till we see our loved ones again 😇

    • @safidero7895
      @safidero7895 Рік тому +33

      May Allah make it easy for you, grant you patience and guide you to the truth, may Allah reunite you with your loved ones in Paradise. Ameen

    • @jonathanross556
      @jonathanross556 Рік тому +8

      I'm sorry for your losses. You're a strong person to be able to push through that and keep going. I hope you can take some comfort in knowing you'll see them again.

  • @Gettingback997
    @Gettingback997 6 місяців тому +29

    Thank you for a fresh perspective. I’m a 72 year old man in good shape. But I’ve been lonely all my life. I was trapped in a horrible marriage fo 35 years. But I’m separated since 6 years. The pain of loneliness has morphed into the joy of solitude

    • @n2daair23
      @n2daair23 4 місяці тому +2

      Well said, I to am stuck. For now, but I don’t intend to remain this way much longer. I just hope I haven’t wasted too many years

    • @Gettingback997
      @Gettingback997 4 місяці тому +2

      @@n2daair23 it’s never too late. It’s better to be lonely when you’re alone than to be lonely when you’re with someone

    • @gabrielle-AV-n-PFloyd
      @gabrielle-AV-n-PFloyd 4 місяці тому +1

      I can relate, as a 53 year old woman and the solitude for the last 4 years has been priceless and the times I do get lonely, it passes. Music has been my therapy🎵

    • @Gettingback997
      @Gettingback997 4 місяці тому

      @@gabrielle-AV-n-PFloyd thank you for your response. I just moved me and my business from New York City to upstate New York. I think a geographical change was very helpful to me. It gave me a fresh perspective on life.

    • @gabrielle-AV-n-PFloyd
      @gabrielle-AV-n-PFloyd 4 місяці тому

      @@Gettingback997 I'm your neighbor here in Connecticut! Yes I also made a geographical change and enjoying my peace near the water so I completely understand🙏🌹

  • @longneckdinosaur
    @longneckdinosaur Рік тому +1424

    I'm a 17 year old guy who's been considering suicide. I've been feeling extremely lonely and afraid of the world and I know that it's time i pick myself back up. This video really inspired me to get my life together and start liking myself again. This is all really good advice and I have a lot of respect for you sir. I hope this video can reach even more people and help them too.

    • @pyrosupreme4473
      @pyrosupreme4473 Рік тому +87

      Hang in there man. Life sucks sometimes but there's things worth living for

    • @famousjavis4412
      @famousjavis4412 Рік тому +58

      same bro, i don’t have anyone to connect to, sure i have friends, but i’m always the one to ask how they are, it’s never my turn. idk what to do

    • @hunroodoesart
      @hunroodoesart Рік тому +23

      I myself am 17 and i felt the same way! life is pretty hard in these times, but we need to pull ourself together and be the best versions of ourselves! keep looking up brother! it will get better soon, trust me!

    • @longneckdinosaur
      @longneckdinosaur Рік тому +11

      @@famousjavis4412 i feel exactly the same man. it's really hard to feel like they want you around but i promise they do. people care a lot more than it usually seems like they do

    • @longneckdinosaur
      @longneckdinosaur Рік тому +5

      @@hunroodoesart we got it!!

  • @robbingcars9140
    @robbingcars9140 6 місяців тому +1126

    The “being comfortable with yourself like a friend” part is beautiful

    • @annemacharia6718
      @annemacharia6718 5 місяців тому +1

      True

    • @TillKlaus-b5n
      @TillKlaus-b5n 5 місяців тому +8

      I am working hard to become someone I enjoy spending time with.

    • @kaledon6
      @kaledon6 5 місяців тому

      But he forgets that "being confortable with yourself" requires primarily taking care of your health, and smoking will tend to lead him to hate "himself" like any person who lost the most fundamental part of his well being, which is being in good health

    • @AlbertWesker_GOAT
      @AlbertWesker_GOAT 5 місяців тому +1

      @@kaledon6 He has lived long enough for that to be a problem, also smoking does not cause cancer or any disease for everyone, I have read studies on that and he may be one of the lucky ones who is not prone to cancer.

    • @MarcosPo
      @MarcosPo 4 місяці тому +1

      Real bro.

  • @rodclaus2283
    @rodclaus2283 Рік тому +764

    I'm 76 years old and still learning. This is some of the best advise that I have ever heard. Thank you sir.

    • @feliciamarquez9621
      @feliciamarquez9621 Рік тому +8

      Such is life living in this city it's hard to find a good man

    • @mars4105
      @mars4105 Рік тому +2

      It's great to see our elders too! I wish we would have more opportunities to speak with them since they lived way longer than us and are wiser than us. They know what we going through.

    • @Rita-yu1se
      @Rita-yu1se Рік тому +6

      @@mars4105 you're very smart to want to listen to us older people. My kids, grands, great-grandson think I'm stupid & treat me as such.

    • @mars4105
      @mars4105 Рік тому +1

      @Rita I'm really sorry to hear that. I will admit that when I was a little kid, I didn't care much (Tho I still respected them obviously). When I grew up a little, I saw their importance but it was too late. Both my grandparents are dead on my father's side and on my mum my granddad died before I was born. My grandma is too old and has lost her mind a little bit because of the age. I feel sad knowing I lost good moments I could of shared with them, and their knowledge. It was even harder since they lived in Romania and I in Canada.
      I hope one day your family will learn from their mistakes and come back to you. We never know the luck we have until it's gone. We tend to forget they have been through this and had time to think about it and see it on the long term while we are just experiencing it at the moment.
      Please excuse any mistakes I made in English (it's my third language).
      Have a nice day sir/ma'am

    • @aki-moon6654
      @aki-moon6654 Рік тому +1

      JESUS LOVES U AND IS COMING BACK
      JESUS AMA VOCÊS E ESTÁ VOLTANDO
      พระเยซูรักคุณและกำลังจะกลับมา

  • @Hussein.77v
    @Hussein.77v 5 місяців тому +24

    I'm 17 yo form iraq and I just got a notification from my friends that they'll left me and I'm alone now and nobody with me so I watched this video and realized that I need to pick up myself I need to be the man who is called a man and make decisions that I won't regret on it , sometimes we get hurt we do because we have feelings. But we should love ourselves. Thank you sir 🙏

  • @muffinland
    @muffinland 2 роки тому +610

    The internet, and especially social media, has absolutely torn the fabric of society asunder. I'm still a young man by most definitions but am old enough to remember back pre-Facebook when you could disagree on politics/policy with someone and still break bread with them or enjoy a beer over a game. Nowadays, forget it, just hate all the way down at the first whiff of disagreement. I used to feel lonely and alienated, but now just learned that doing my own thing away from everyone else is the best path to peace in the modern world. Improvise, adapt, overcome.

    • @rj9617
      @rj9617 2 роки тому +3

      #Truth

    • @tjlevi7912
      @tjlevi7912 2 роки тому +6

      Amen!

    • @kertgp8275
      @kertgp8275 2 роки тому +5

      Well Said

    • @Garypiles
      @Garypiles 2 роки тому +6

      you read my mind!

    • @georgeporrata7453
      @georgeporrata7453 2 роки тому +30

      I feel the same way and I'm in my late 60's. Young people think everyone is like those on social media. They don't realize they're the minority of our population. Those that have the biggest mouths usually have the least to say, I wish the young ones knew that

  • @knight8288
    @knight8288 Рік тому +427

    this doesn't feel like a video, this feels like a conversation

    • @kjaerdian7864
      @kjaerdian7864 7 місяців тому +4

      that's when you know you found yourself a real teacher eh

    • @Rundmc40
      @Rundmc40 5 місяців тому +6

      It was

  • @OscarOffTheCuff
    @OscarOffTheCuff 2 роки тому +800

    As a 26 year old I feel so much older than I should. I compare my life to all my peers, they all seem to be settling down, getting married, having kids, making 6 figures. I just moved back home to my dads house to take care of him as his health is declining. I’m looking at is as a beautiful thing, spending time with my old man while he’s still here. However, I want to be successful, find love, own a home, have children, but it all seems so impossible. These videos you make really help me get through these hard times, I feel so isolated and alone every single day, but when I watch clips like this, it makes me feel less alone. Thank you.

    • @themistermax
      @themistermax 2 роки тому +124

      You have plenty of time. I didn't even start my "career" until 30. Take care of your Dad, there's nothing more important, no matter the sacrifice. Mine's gone, I miss him.

    • @kaiomoura604
      @kaiomoura604 2 роки тому +33

      You'll get everything u want, is already there.
      I wish the best for you old man.

    • @tatakae4608
      @tatakae4608 2 роки тому

      I'm 33 almost 34, living with my parents in the countryside, no friends near, only internet friends that seem far. I couldn't find myself a good job so I am doing many projects, but I find it hard sometimes que loneliness kicks in. You are still young, try your best with what you have right now. Don't look at the past mistakes. Dont overdo easy drugs like sugar, porn, tiktok, etc. They drain out your will to do things. Not every day you will be motivated to do things. Life is hard, those folk who have 8 hour jobs are having a hard time, they are killing themselves slowly. We have the chance to work for ourselves.

    • @godfatheful
      @godfatheful 2 роки тому +40

      Damn i feel you im 25, i dont have a job, i feel that im way behind y peers shit, lonrliness is a bitch

    • @cavalieroutdoors6036
      @cavalieroutdoors6036 2 роки тому +80

      I'll just make this point - I spent my 20s working on a 'career' that I just *happily* abandoned at 37. What you do to make money, and how much you make, does *not* define you. Neither does presence or absence of a partner. My father passed a few years back. I hadn't seen him since I was 13, I always wanted to get halfway across the country to visit him but kept telling myself, "There's plenty of time, I'll save for that plane ticket next year." Next year never came. He passed, and no one even bothered to tell me he was in rough shape until 6 months after. That's one regret I'll probably take to my grave. At 40 you'll have forgotten all about feeling like you were lagging behind your peers at 26, you'll have learned there are more important things in life than keeping up with the Joneses. Enjoy your dad while you can.

  • @lorimcallister1
    @lorimcallister1 6 місяців тому +12

    That's really well said!! I'm a mom of six kids, dairy farming family. I got three boys. And 3 girls. We raised them with hard work ethics, morals and values. My 24 year old and 22 year old sons are alone trying to cope. They want to find nice girls, but so far neither of them have dated anyone yet. We are not rushing them, but I am seeing what's going on out there and so are they and they are gun shy. The feminists have done great damage. One of my girls dated a little but sees guys are withdrawing and hesitant to even ask her out and she's looking for a strong man who's got some morals and is a hard worker and wants to take the lead. Tough times all around, I really am sad to see what is happening to our young men in this country. You are right when you say that you have to become comfortable with yourself. I am encouraging that for my boys and girls. Thank you so much for sharing from your heart!

  • @TheCraig1962
    @TheCraig1962 Рік тому +561

    I can't believe I came across your shows just when I needed help the most. My wife of 42 years passed away a year ago. I am so lonely and messed up. Your words have made a lot of sense. You have a gift. Keep up the good work. Thank you.

    • @nword5999
      @nword5999 11 місяців тому +21

      I am so sorry, and I know what you mean. It was a battle for me but as I came to understand myself and noticed little minutes or seconds I learned to appreciate the simple things- like the leaves blowing across the yard, the light coming through the window in the morning, a child's smile, or the dew on a plant shining. It was hard to come out of my pain and memory's but I finally became silent in my mind and just observed life around me. I pray that for you too-peace, the quiet from the storm. blessings

    • @pamlaenger6870
      @pamlaenger6870 11 місяців тому +12

      Sympathies and prayers. Never forget that Jesus Loves You!

    • @CantSleep2Well
      @CantSleep2Well 11 місяців тому +6

      Best of luck to you sir

    • @carolann4329
      @carolann4329 11 місяців тому

      @@nword5999😊

    • @TheUneducatedTeacher
      @TheUneducatedTeacher 11 місяців тому +3

      My deepest condolences
      A UA-camr

  • @valkyrie3631
    @valkyrie3631 Рік тому +703

    Im barely 20 and I’ve struggled with crippling lonlieness. I sat back and just listened and it was the best 20 minutes of advice I’ve ever gotten. Thank you so much

    • @mickey6244
      @mickey6244 Рік тому +14

      God Bless you!

    • @valkyrie3631
      @valkyrie3631 Рік тому +9

      @@mickey6244 Same for you too, may god bless everyone growing up

    • @rabraham86
      @rabraham86 Рік тому +3

      What are you going to do differently from now on?

    • @ladylola3443
      @ladylola3443 Рік тому +4

      I know how you feel. I'm the same age and I feel the same way...

    • @nudesoftheworld
      @nudesoftheworld Рік тому +5

      I'm 40 and have been in the same position in my 20s. Like someone posted a while back, the Robin Williams quote 'being alone isnt as bad as being around people who make you feel alone' (to paraphrase). Youve always your UA-cam bros if you need a hand. We're always here.

  • @uniquehorn1480
    @uniquehorn1480 Рік тому +891

    "The hell that you go through with these relationships just in order to have someone to sleep with from time to time is not worth the destruction that it is doing to your soul and your spirit, to your life, it's not worth it." Amen to that, brother.

    • @joejones9520
      @joejones9520 Рік тому +37

      and as i found out even when you find "the one," even after yrs together she can suddenly turn into someone youd never ever have wanted to be with...I wonder sometimes if experiencing a loved one turning into a hated one is more traumatic than if the loved one had died?

    • @gudgurl
      @gudgurl Рік тому +19

      @@joejones9520 I've been through this...yes, it would be less worse and less painful if the person had passed away.

    • @Rossbach2
      @Rossbach2 Рік тому +26

      "It is better to dwell alone in the wilderness than with a quarrelsome and vexatious woman." - Proverbs 21:19

    • @michaellendzian2655
      @michaellendzian2655 Рік тому +4

      Got that one right....

    • @DanXDelion
      @DanXDelion Рік тому +7

      You can tell this man had his experiences with women before he was lucky enough to find Momma. And I would even go so far as to say that he needed to make these experiences in order to be able to meet Momma.

  • @minkqua
    @minkqua Місяць тому +2

    Thank you for doing this talk. I'm 50 this year and struggling with the now reality that I'm going to be alone for the first time in my life. So many mistakes and regrets. So I think you may have planted some mustard seeds for me and I'll keep looking down that path. Yah bless brother.

  • @lisamay3316
    @lisamay3316 Рік тому +1067

    One of the best antidotes to loneliness is volunteer work. Eventually you start to make friends with your fellow volunteers, who are frequently good people

    • @davidnorman2134
      @davidnorman2134 Рік тому +43

      Yeah but then life takes you separate ways and your on your own again

    • @heatherhigh1776
      @heatherhigh1776 Рік тому +22

      Thank you! That’s such a great idea. I’ve thought about volunteering but just don’t do it. I’m committing to get started so I can give back and be around like minded people. ❤

    • @WantedMonsterHunter
      @WantedMonsterHunter Рік тому +43

      @@davidnorman2134 But then there's always an opportunity to meet new people right?

    • @coolbeans6148
      @coolbeans6148 Рік тому +8

      Fantastic advice.

    • @catharperfect7036
      @catharperfect7036 Рік тому +19

      Having a dog is also a great help imho.

  • @IncomeOnlinePH
    @IncomeOnlinePH Рік тому +947

    Sir, I am in Asia, and You have saved me from suicide tonight. Thank you and God bless you always!

    • @UncleDave69
      @UncleDave69 Рік тому +51

      Hey man hope you're doing well now

    • @Commander_Turbanator
      @Commander_Turbanator Рік тому +22

      hope ur doing well

    • @godfreymwenelupembe2602
      @godfreymwenelupembe2602 Рік тому +13

      Hang in there bro, find hobbies stay healthy, and make money it'll get better bro ❤

    • @mosaleh2131
      @mosaleh2131 Рік тому +5

      عليك ان تبحث عن الغايه من وجودك
      و دين الاسلام فقط يجيب لك عن هذا السؤال

    • @King.D_no.1
      @King.D_no.1 Рік тому +16


      Hang in there is not the best advice for a guy who wants to end his life 😂😂😂😂

  • @JaxAndree
    @JaxAndree Рік тому +1257

    I've lost almost everyone and everything in my life recently.
    Both parents died,lost my job and my wife separated from me. It's really hard to keep hanging on.
    Thanks for the advice.

    • @lucasmesa2063
      @lucasmesa2063 Рік тому +25

      Hang on men you can. Hard times pass and good times come you just need to keep going, I know it may seem impossible but you can man just keep on going. You are important to this world and you still have a lot to give. God bless. Greetings from Argentina

    • @Aimothewizard
      @Aimothewizard Рік тому +4

      @sunshinyday I hope you truly find God.

    • @sweetf.a.9910
      @sweetf.a.9910 Рік тому +5

      @jaxandree Hang in there Jax 💕

    • @anjosdomar269
      @anjosdomar269 Рік тому +14

      It’s hard man, I did not lose my parents. But I lost my job and I was living with my 4 year girlfriend, she separated from me shortly after, it’s weird that when you truly most need certain people the most, they are not there for you! Now I don’t have a place to stay, nor I can pay for myself so I’m going to France to join the foreign legion. Unfortunately that’s the only way out I can see for now, I’m 31

    • @JaxAndree
      @JaxAndree Рік тому +5

      @@anjosdomar269 Wishing you good luck. Hang in there!

  • @RediDutshi
    @RediDutshi 6 місяців тому +13

    20:00
    "You be that warrior in a garden. You be a strong man, you be a good man, and let the world rage around you."

  • @SecretsOfASage
    @SecretsOfASage 11 місяців тому +1292

    Nothing is more lonely than having people around you that make you feel that way.

    • @davidosborne423
      @davidosborne423 11 місяців тому +4

      Robin Williams...quote that ...

    • @johnmartin650
      @johnmartin650 10 місяців тому +8

      Yes everyone else saw that instagram meme too. It's not that deep. It's usually what delusional women say as an excuse for cheating.

    • @SangheliosGaming
      @SangheliosGaming 9 місяців тому

      I am fokin lonely!

    • @GRINDETHIKSMIXTAPESHOW
      @GRINDETHIKSMIXTAPESHOW 9 місяців тому +2

      friends and family are infamous for that , me personally I got no problems giving anyone a time out , ppl would put their limitations on u

    • @wojtsterna
      @wojtsterna 8 місяців тому +5

      Note though that this is kind of your problem. You are responsible for that and you can change the people you hang out with

  • @terryhimes5052
    @terryhimes5052 2 роки тому +470

    Very wise comments. Thank you sir. I am 65 years old and my wife passed away last year. I have never really been alone. But I feel awfully alone now. I am struggling with moving forward with my life. I retired a couple years early to take care of her as her health declined. Now I find myself sitting at home for weeks at a time, only to leave the house to get a few groceries. Your words and Wisdom is encouraging. I only Pray that I can wake up tomorrow and apply those words of Wisdom . Thank You Sir... God Bless .

    • @blackout.X
      @blackout.X 2 роки тому +39

      Hello sir, maybe try getting involved in a community. Share what you’ve learned with others and connect. The world needs your wisdom. And your pain. Start a grieving group to grieve and help guide one another.

    • @Jordan-xg4pn
      @Jordan-xg4pn 2 роки тому +15

      You're getting out of the hole one day, one way or another, but however that journey unfolds, promise yourself to take it easy. Take it one day at a time champ!

    • @maybugz
      @maybugz 2 роки тому +14

      Thanks for sharing your situation terry. Must be difficult. I also live on my own and it can be tough sometimes dealing with loneliness. Wishing you all the best
      Keep active and eat healthy :)

    • @moparmarkstpac
      @moparmarkstpac 2 роки тому +11

      Sir, if I might make a suggestion, visit a local church and you just might find friends, community, and maybe a good woman to spend time with. I promise if you seek God he will reveal himself to you and He will change your life in so many ways your bound to like one of em! Ha! God Bless you friend!

    • @KatieDeGo
      @KatieDeGo 2 роки тому +5

      I am very sorry to hear about your loss, sir. I truly am. I am not a Christian per se, but blessed are those that mourn for they shall be comforted. And I pray you shall be comforted. **hugs**

  • @MEATOGRE
    @MEATOGRE 2 роки тому +429

    Thank you for this. When I was 27, I got out of an engagement with an unfaithful woman. I sold most of my possessions, left my old job behind, threw what I had left in my vehicle, and hit the road. Ended up in the sticks in Oklahoma working as a steelworker with the best quality of life I've ever had, my own small humble home, and the best damn dog a man could ask for. It's like you said, it truly takes courage to leave everything that you know and makes you comfortable behind to go into the unknown. It's unsettling and its uncomfortable sometimes. The loneliness was hard to deal with at first. It would keep me up at night, it was a bad feeling I couldn't chase away.
    But it turned into peace. Genuine peace. It turned into self-reflection and growing as a man. Everyday, every task is an accomplishment that I achieved. You're a wise man, sir, thank you for sharing your thoughts. It's always good to have more tools for the mental toolkit. Continue to be a good man.

    • @fdyujyrsvhyjn
      @fdyujyrsvhyjn 2 роки тому +3

      being a steelworker is my dream job

    • @Cam_88
      @Cam_88 2 роки тому +6

      Good job brother! Greetings from Kansas! 🤘

    • @WhiteManXRP
      @WhiteManXRP 2 роки тому +3

      Congratulations on the success of peace and quiet... it's a fabulous learning experience..
      I'm right behind you, I'm on similar path...great job, awesome stuff brother man🇺🇸💪💪👍👍😎

    • @simshadyhagrmfchevy3908
      @simshadyhagrmfchevy3908 2 роки тому +5

      Thanks fer sharing that brother really

    • @and.rew.tran.
      @and.rew.tran. 2 роки тому +1

      "Everyday, every task is an accomplishment that I achieved."
      Wow that was beautiful, brother, I will remember that

  • @moniii444
    @moniii444 16 днів тому +3

    7:19 Im in my early twenties, I left my abusive fathers home. Moved in with my boyfriend found out how toxic he really was two years in. I learnt this the hard way at a young age. I never had a GOOD male figure in my life ever and to this day, but you sir though I never met you, you heal that little piece in me. Thank you.

    • @End.creditsss
      @End.creditsss 10 днів тому

      I relate to you a lot. Hope you have a good life.

  • @ianhellsing3327
    @ianhellsing3327 Рік тому +4536

    We must protect this man at all costs

  • @jimschuman9926
    @jimschuman9926 2 роки тому +216

    New sub here. Got married when I was 30 and my wife and I had two boys. In 2006 my wife passed away suddenly from a brain aneurysm at age 40. My two sons were 10 and 7 at the time. I worked full time ( self employed construction) full time and raised my two sons with the help of family on both sides. I spent ALL of my free time with my two boys. They came first, no exceptions. Had absolutely no desire to date or form a relationship while my boys were young. My Dad wasn’t able to spend as much time with me as I wanted so I wasn’t going to make the same mistake. My two sons went to church and belonged to the youth group while growing up. Now my sons are 26 and 23 and are both pursuing their goals and working hard. I have not dated since my wife passed away. Sometimes I feel lonely for companionship but after 16 years of being single I am set in my ways and I enjoy being able to come and go as I please. I retired 2 years ago at age 56 and have found some interests to keep me busy and mostly content. It’s hard to know what to do ( relationship or stay single) because today you don’t know who you can trust and too many people are all about themselves.

    • @drcoco6432
      @drcoco6432 2 роки тому +18

      Sorry for you loss sir , may god bless you and your family!, you’re a good father and man

    • @yankeerose9011
      @yankeerose9011 2 роки тому +4

      May God bless you always ✝️❤

    • @jeremycalifornia
      @jeremycalifornia 2 роки тому

      Kind words from a real man. Be happy Or move from the u.s.a. it is not the greatest country anymore. I know 100 broke people in half of them are happy I know 20 rich people and all of them are miserable do the math

    • @N1976DL
      @N1976DL 2 роки тому +5

      Thank you for sharing this. I’m a single father of three sons. I haven’t had a relationship in 5 years, for the same reasons you said, and then some. My free time has always been devoted to my boys. My time alone was great for a while, but now it is getting lonely. Since covid, my job has been working from home. My isolation started in 2017 with the split from my son’s mother. Covid just made it worse, and now I find it terribly difficult to form and maintain relationships.

    • @Shiturd45
      @Shiturd45 2 роки тому +4

      Hey Jim. I lost a lot too. Nothing is stronger than the power of 2 great brothers and a wonderful set of parents. You seem like a stand up guy. The free world is built on the backs of families like ours. Stay strong. Take it easy.

  • @carlgomm9699
    @carlgomm9699 Рік тому +629

    I'm 64, was very happily married for 40 years, she was 14 yrs older than me, we hit it off from day one, I lost her to Alzheimer's 3 years ago, life isn't the same without her, I feel my age and being disabled make me undesirable so I pretty much keep to myself. Such a nice show and very sound advice, you made my day, please keep up the good work !!

    • @leslieanne7467
      @leslieanne7467 Рік тому +18

      Sorry to hear. God bless you

    • @Haza-rp1cb
      @Haza-rp1cb Рік тому +5

      ,an it will get better i promise

    • @myquickjab2098
      @myquickjab2098 Рік тому +14

      I feel you brother u have people here who understand your loneliness wish I could have sit and have a beer with u

    • @CamperVan-K
      @CamperVan-K Рік тому +10

      Wow, you wonderful man. She must have been a good woman - and you a good man. I'm sorry that she had to pass. That must have left a gaping hole in your life. I'm praying that you find what it is you need to fill that void and wish you well on the rest of your journey through life. Best, K

    • @carlgomm9699
      @carlgomm9699 Рік тому +5

      @@CamperVan-K Thanks for such a nice reply, it's much different without my wife being with me

  • @lizbethabrajan2920
    @lizbethabrajan2920 5 місяців тому +4

    “ You wanna tell yourself the truth but you wanna tell yourself in understanding and forgiveness” thank you for sharing ❤ I’m trying

  • @mattday4661
    @mattday4661 2 роки тому +470

    “Be a good, strong man and let the world rage around you.” Great life advise. Love your cool, calm and collected videos, thank you !

    • @erickrodriguez3104
      @erickrodriguez3104 2 роки тому +1

      How what does that mean

    • @shijagurumayumdeosharma
      @shijagurumayumdeosharma 2 роки тому +1

      Can you please explain it brother

    • @mattday4661
      @mattday4661 2 роки тому +18

      He says this towards the end of his video, I believe what he means is as the world implodes around you sometimes, be strong and hold fast to your truths and strength’s. For me it’s realizing that I can’t always control what’s going on around me, but continue to be a good strong man, and leaning more on faith and God to control the things I cannot. Hope this helps.

    • @based_or_cringe
      @based_or_cringe 2 роки тому +4

      Rage against the dying of the light

    • @we-must-live
      @we-must-live 2 роки тому +7

      @@mattday4661 i absolutely agree with 'holding fast to your truths and strengths' - lotta people get pressured by the environment around them to sacrifice their morals & values for the sake of money or the safety of their family. however, if you stay steadfast in your beliefs, your inspiration can help change the environment around you to one that doesn't require others to sacrifice the values that make them, them!

  • @Rezifying_
    @Rezifying_ Рік тому +432

    There are some days where I just feel unwanted, forgotten and alone but then I go back to this video to brighten my day up. Goodluck gents

    • @nobodysbabymama
      @nobodysbabymama Рік тому

      Your transparency moves me. 💎
      ua-cam.com/video/08j4dytaju8/v-deo.htmlsi=m1DVyhW16PS-sOLM
      Here's my video on loneliness.. Have a beautiful day. 💎

    • @MikeyBAAZ
      @MikeyBAAZ Рік тому

      Same

    • @leredditcommander8208
      @leredditcommander8208 Рік тому

      ​​@edieltondantas6084this. quitting p0rn was one of fhe best decisions in my life, also i quit drinking but i didnt have a problem with that to begin with i just wanted stronger bones for the sport i practice, i drink every now and then. When i was researching about p0rn addiction i saw so many post of people saying that its normal and ok to do it. I think its not and im an atheist, so im not saying its because of religion, i still think those that want to live watching p0rn then thats ok too.

  • @dupluxbloomman9499
    @dupluxbloomman9499 Рік тому +1486

    I’m 26 and am a widower, my wife died 9/9/21. I have two little daughters, which has helped. Loneliness has been rough. Now a days females are hard to even talk to.
    Thanks for the content!

    • @Discombe
      @Discombe Рік тому +80

      My condolences for your loss, I’m sure she is watching over the 3 of you. Stay strong for those girls of yours 💙 all the best

    • @dreamerlotus
      @dreamerlotus Рік тому +21

      So sorry for your loss, glad that your girls provide you with solace. Hope that with time someone else will come into your life to be your companion (if that's what you want of course!)

    • @nuclearpr0
      @nuclearpr0 Рік тому +38

      I lost my wife 3 months after my daughter was born. There have been lonely nights but better that than being stuck with someone you don't like. If we keep our heads straight we'll both be fine. Hang in there.

    • @darylmiller8911
      @darylmiller8911 Рік тому +7

      Stay strong and care the best you can for your daughters.

    • @dupluxbloomman9499
      @dupluxbloomman9499 Рік тому +6

      Thanks for the support, it means a lot

  • @CoryBoyd-ro4gk
    @CoryBoyd-ro4gk 22 дні тому +5

    Love your philosophy discussions. You have to love yourself. Be comfortable with yourself alone. Before you seek another companion. I myself only need a part time companion. I have many hobbies, guitars, pet reptiles, and growing mushrooms and plants. I rode a Harley Fatboy to Tucson at age 59 with very little cash. It all turned out great 10 years latter. Cary in Tucson

  • @jonathanw.pierce1066
    @jonathanw.pierce1066 Рік тому +750

    I’m 61 years old and have been single now for 10 years, no dating, no one night stands, I haven’t even touched a woman since my divorce and it was and still is hard at times to cope with the loneliness, but it passes. I mean this sincerely, everything he mentioned in this video I have already learned or I’m working on now. What I can say is thanks Dude you nailed it exactly. Sincerely, Oklahoma Cowboy

    • @mg_kj
      @mg_kj Рік тому +3

      How come your marriage didn’t last? I am experiencing the same thing too, it’s a possibility that it could go down to divorce and Im trying to be better so it wont happen

    • @RexRaven22
      @RexRaven22 Рік тому +4

      Your Shelly West is out there somewhere 🤍

    • @Max-vh9eh
      @Max-vh9eh Рік тому

      @@mg_kjseek counseling brother

    • @Rimrock300
      @Rimrock300 Рік тому

      Sometimes it got to do with some women often are more keen on developing themselves and their marriage, try new things, keep romance alive, while we men more tend to enjoy status quo when getting older, relax in the sofa infront of the TV and more or less take the wife for granted@@mg_kj

    • @editpending2079
      @editpending2079 Рік тому +5

      im 34 and have been single for four years, same deal just single no stands or anything, its liberating and those who thrive on companions should try it

  • @dojocho1894
    @dojocho1894 2 роки тому +515

    At 61 and divorced and no kids and my entire small family has passed on. My two horses have died recently......I asked the lord to help me.....I literally feel him and hear him talking to me daily on what to do and its over whelming how much he has helped me.

    • @persephonemaeve2704
      @persephonemaeve2704 2 роки тому +17

      I’m an equestrian. Can you rescue an older horse to keep you busy?? It will help both of you ❤

    • @yankeerose9011
      @yankeerose9011 2 роки тому +2

      Amen ❤✝️

    • @iliketoclosemyeyes
      @iliketoclosemyeyes 2 роки тому +2

      God bless

    • @esdet105
      @esdet105 2 роки тому +15

      You've been talking to yourself, because you are your own best coach.

    • @itkovian11
      @itkovian11 2 роки тому +23

      That's called schizophrenia.

  • @jade_blazkowicz
    @jade_blazkowicz Рік тому +939

    im 18 years old female, and i would like to thank this man for this great advice, i felt this and it comforted me, and to the hardworking guys out there, be safe, you're doing great and i hope you will never let your handsome power die
    stay strong

  • @pancake_5703
    @pancake_5703 5 місяців тому +9

    thanks Dewayne, these videos help me feel like I'm not so alone with my bad thoughts, this world feels so backwards and its hard for me to keep going in it everyday

    • @steeverreno
      @steeverreno 5 місяців тому +1

      Hang in there my fellow human.

  • @pjay1227
    @pjay1227 11 місяців тому +367

    Grew up without a father, just got out of a toxic relationship. This helped more than you could ever know, thank you.

    • @enteranon3342
      @enteranon3342 7 місяців тому +3

      Stand up for yourself, stay strong

    • @KquarGaming
      @KquarGaming 6 місяців тому +2

      Same here man same here

    • @zanerrzz
      @zanerrzz 6 місяців тому +2

      Me too man. I would kill to have had a dad growing up. I just got out of a rough relationship a month after my birth father passing. He divorced mom when I was 7. Never really saw him after he moved out. I visited him maybe twice (I’m 22 now)… I definitely wanna grow up and have kids just so they have a father figure. Someone with wisdom and knowledge. It makes life a little easier to understand.

  • @user-tc2ng4zm4c
    @user-tc2ng4zm4c 2 роки тому +123

    "Make the unpopular decisions." really can't stress how important that one is. Trust your self and do what you know is right.

  • @emegvf
    @emegvf Рік тому +318

    One thing to seriously consider is how we see the world through social media. Social media isn’t our life. Deleting most social media and focusing on what’s in front of me, my actual life, has helped me so much. Of course I still feel lonely but at least I don’t have hundreds of people rubbing it in my face how awesome their lives are. We are all on different paths in life, make sure you focus on where your paths going instead of wondering where everyone else is.

    • @StephenTheHabibi
      @StephenTheHabibi Рік тому +11

      Im 20 and im going thru & thinking the same thing. Everybody is on their own narrow path and we need to be happy about it, dont take nothing too serious…

    • @KenoSNeal
      @KenoSNeal Рік тому +7

      Thank you so much for this comment. I need to keep reminding myself about this. Social media is the most destructive illusion in our modern society.

    • @janosadamviola4323
      @janosadamviola4323 Рік тому +2

      I never have social media account. I never surfed on it.
      And I know that (you know I always felt that) my life is so much better this way then the others.
      I have felt that. Now I know that and see.
      You are on a very good way.
      Keep it up!

    • @tigergaj
      @tigergaj Рік тому +2

      I think it's also important that you introspect about that kinda thing and consider why you have feelings like these too. Like, why do you feel like people are rubbing it in your face on social media? Cause for me, i see people enjoying themselves and I'm happy for them. But as for myself, i rarely make posts or interact with the timeline. I'm comfortable in myself and knowing that I don't need to be slaying I'm Instagram all day, yk? Idk if that's where you're at, but I'd urge you to think about what about what you project onto the internet that you actually value.

    • @KenoSNeal
      @KenoSNeal Рік тому +1

      @@tigergaj I really love your point of view. I engage with social media pretty consistently, and over the years I've come to the conclusion that it is a soul sucking void of meaningless affirmation. I like to make movies so I still feel a need to engage in order to keep a portfolio for other artists, but even then I fall back into the habit of endless scrolling on the timeline. I've considered many times deleting my social and just keeping a website up.

  • @inuvik491
    @inuvik491 5 місяців тому +6

    Enjoyed your video, some true words spoken.
    Spent 16 years with the wrong lady, on my own now I’m happy with my own company.
    Be kind and things will be fine.

  • @BrandyinIndy
    @BrandyinIndy Рік тому +287

    I do not have a dad. You are the first person I've ever felt that I can sit and listen to your words of wisdom, as a father figure. Thank you for your time and truth. These are the conversations I've always longed for that I never got.

    • @myquickjab2098
      @myquickjab2098 Рік тому +1

      Why don’t u have a dad

    • @comanchedase
      @comanchedase Рік тому +1

      My father was like him. But kept to himself...he's been gone 10 years now...

    • @nolegirl4god
      @nolegirl4god Рік тому +2

      I have a dad, but I do not get this type of wisdom from him. I think this guy would be an exceptional father.

    • @exbunkbedanimations7894
      @exbunkbedanimations7894 Рік тому +4

      @@myquickjab2098 let him be not really your business dude

    • @SammyEddie
      @SammyEddie 2 місяці тому

      Why would you ask that? Read the room.

  • @arkhivesmoth
    @arkhivesmoth 2 роки тому +425

    First step to beat loneliness is to accept that you are lonely. Second step is to allow yourself to feel all thousand colours of loneliness. Third step is to refocus on something that you are putting value in(running with dog, painting, making music, meditation, breath work, etc.) Dont forget that no one can save you from this feelings, only yourself. It will pass...

    • @blap9467
      @blap9467 2 роки тому +18

      I respect that, thanks for this

    • @mf_yopey1467
      @mf_yopey1467 2 роки тому +4

      saying no one can save me from this feeling is a joke. literally anyone can if they wanted to

    • @arkhivesmoth
      @arkhivesmoth 2 роки тому +20

      @@mf_yopey1467 Hard truth is when someone saves you first time, you expect again, again and again. Sure someone can mend your mind but if you have felt real loneliness you know that nobody can be with you 24/7. My point is get out from victim frame and make vaule that is bigger then feeling of loneliness. And this is only your own job and long process. Fuck it there's no shourtcuts. Stay strong.

    • @christopherthompson5400
      @christopherthompson5400 2 роки тому +8

      @@mf_yopey1467 there will always be a time when no matter who chooses to help when they won't be able to because of uncontrollable events in the universe. And when that time comes, if you can't stand on your own for however long the universe asks you to. Nobody else will be able to pick up the pieces.

    • @Primus-ue4th
      @Primus-ue4th 2 роки тому +1

      And don’t EVER give a damn what other people think. Do what makes you happy.

  • @AngelRodriguez-ge8os
    @AngelRodriguez-ge8os 2 роки тому +357

    24 year old male who really needed to hear this. Appreciate the honesty and reinforcement, Dwayne.

    • @alleghenyadventures8561
      @alleghenyadventures8561 2 роки тому +10

      You got this. The Lord has good plans for you.

    • @DarkMetaOFFICIAL
      @DarkMetaOFFICIAL 2 роки тому +1

      bruh 🤟💪

    • @creativemind_2798
      @creativemind_2798 2 роки тому +3

      Same age same situation
      Take care bro

    • @Bobin10101
      @Bobin10101 2 роки тому

      @@Aqueox what’s even the point of commenting this? Such surface level understanding

    • @joshbanker8743
      @joshbanker8743 2 роки тому

      @@Aqueox thats why he said "you got this". Idiot.

  • @hannahmoody7060
    @hannahmoody7060 4 місяці тому +6

    Good morning. My name is Hannah from North Carolina. Thank you for making this video... For the past 8 months, I have been feeling this unfamiliar feeling that has been uncomfortable. So, this morning i woke up and jumped on the computer looking for ideas that could help me make a start, and I feel that your video has. Thank you very much for making this video.

  • @trumpssleepparalysisdemon8569
    @trumpssleepparalysisdemon8569 2 роки тому +501

    This is the second video I've watched of this man. In today's society a legend could be considered a celebrity, rapper, or a politician. But this man is a legend in my book. He's like an uncle we all never had but always wanted. Something about this man just seems so heartwarming and delightful to be around with. Thank you for all that you do Mr. Cowboy sir. And apologies for my inappropriate profile.

  • @preparedsurvivalist2245
    @preparedsurvivalist2245 Рік тому +904

    Protect this man at all costs. That's all I can say.

    • @nyxxose
      @nyxxose Рік тому +11

      If we don’t this world will fail!

    • @deathbunny3048
      @deathbunny3048 Рік тому +20

      I don't think this man needs protection, he seems to have that covered already ^^

    • @LilPeeper420
      @LilPeeper420 Рік тому +6

      As if a man like this needs protected. I think he’s quite capable all on his own.

    • @deathbunny3048
      @deathbunny3048 Рік тому +2

      @@LilPeeper420 Wow how original and fresh...

    • @panteleymonschekochikhin-k1978
      @panteleymonschekochikhin-k1978 Рік тому +6

      @@deathbunny3048 wow someone had the same thought as you... clearly the right course of action is to go after them with petty sarcasm, great job buddy

  • @playfulcloud9964
    @playfulcloud9964 Рік тому +413

    Just dealt with my mom's passing at 27 she was my best friend... I feel immensely alone. Feel like she led me here.. I love you ma! Thanks for always looking after me

    • @adi2602
      @adi2602 Рік тому +12

      Stay strong bro!

    • @justin6409
      @justin6409 Рік тому +9

      Going through the same thing with my dad, he passed back in the end of May. It really sucks not having that close relationship anymore.

    • @funkyboda
      @funkyboda Рік тому +7

      My mum passed away last year and she was my best friend too..
      I miss her every day❤️

    • @UZUMAKI979
      @UZUMAKI979 Рік тому +6

      Stay strong brothers, they all want you to stay safe and they love you! ❤️❤️❤️

    • @xion37
      @xion37 Рік тому +2

      Dude I'm so sorry I can't imagine that feels

  • @Whatever_I_Take_Videos_Of
    @Whatever_I_Take_Videos_Of Місяць тому +3

    This genuinely made me realize where I was going wrong in my life. Thank you.

  • @Tyr933
    @Tyr933 2 роки тому +300

    I'm 40 Yr old man, been single for 7 years and live on my own with my dog. I'm use to being alone most my life and to be honest I've learned to love myself and never been happier. The biggest battles are in your mind once you learn to love oneself no person can harm you, also you can't love others if you don't love yourself.

    • @galadrielwoods2332
      @galadrielwoods2332 2 роки тому +2

      💞

    • @JJones-cl4dm
      @JJones-cl4dm 2 роки тому +13

      I'm 47 and live the same way. I got sick of games liars heartbreak disappointment etc etc etc. I'm happier alone

    • @lizwebster1521
      @lizwebster1521 2 роки тому +3

      You are right about loving yourself. It gets me through everything. We need to love our selves so we can love someone else. You are so right.

    • @Tyr933
      @Tyr933 2 роки тому

      @@lizwebster1521 ❤️❤️😁

    • @NC-bs6yi
      @NC-bs6yi 2 роки тому +1

      Absolutely right man spot on

  • @TylerMckissack
    @TylerMckissack 2 роки тому +423

    My ex used to “jokingly” tell me “I gotta keep you down to keep you around”. It was all jokes at first until I started developing anxiety and became self conscious of things about myself I never even noticed. After 6+ years I was an empty shell of a man, I had no concept of myself. I broke up with her a year ago and I’m proud to say I’ve never been more confident in myself in my entire life. You said it best, she was a parasite. Finally I’m growing to be the man I know I can be, and I’ll never settle for anything but the absolute best.

    • @CallmeOzymandias
      @CallmeOzymandias 2 роки тому +39

      God, that's awful. People often reveal who they really are in the form of jokes it seems like. Sorry you went through that.

    • @linguineimpasta
      @linguineimpasta 2 роки тому +5

      Wow I've had someone similar tell me the exact same words

    • @JW-df4uv
      @JW-df4uv 2 роки тому +4

      Good for you man! Keep it up

    • @MrTomytomy123
      @MrTomytomy123 2 роки тому +18

      Been there too buddy, 4 years of belittling and to end it all found out about 3 other men she had going. Now I'm almost 2 yrs on with a women who would give a organ for me.
      I hope a good women comes your way and shows you your worth, till then stay strong and find connection in your friends!

    • @Victor-tl4dk
      @Victor-tl4dk 2 роки тому +5

      Women spend much more time with other women understanding them. They on average understand their psychology more.
      That can be used as a weapon or a tool.
      You happened to stumble on a parasite who was missing something- self-confidence, or something- that used it as a weapon against you.

  • @jsvaodinson2272
    @jsvaodinson2272 Рік тому +388

    22 year old man, just getting out of a toxic relationship with a girl that was destroying my sense of self and what I valued and had me a shadow of myself scared of her. Stayed with her for the exact reason I was scared of being alone and being by myself, god forbid.
    Being alone is 10000x better than the hell of being with the wrong person just for touch.
    This video hit hard, brother. Thanks for sharing some of your wisdom with us.
    Stay strong men, times are tough but we got this.

    • @memyself898
      @memyself898 Рік тому +34

      I'm more than 20 years your senior. When i was your age I was almost married to a toxic narcissist who almost drove me to ending my life at about 22. When we split up I thought I was done and would never be able to love again. I was wrong. I stayed single for 5 years before I met my wife of 20 years. Hang in there young man. You're gonna be fine.

    • @nobodysbabymama
      @nobodysbabymama Рік тому

      Thank you for your vulnerability & transparency. 🙏🏾
      ua-cam.com/video/08j4dytaju8/v-deo.htmlsi=m1DVyhW16PS-sOLM
      Here's my video on loneliness.. Have a beautiful day. 💎

    • @Crash.7434
      @Crash.7434 Рік тому +1

      I’m 2 years younger and I’ve never been in a relationship, I don’t know if it’s cause I didn’t really try, or if women just don’t like me. I think I know of two people that did somewhat like me and the one girl was like my best friend but she ended up with someone else and the other girl I never had feelings for. I now feel embarrassed about this comment💀

    • @guilhermepontifice6881
      @guilhermepontifice6881 Рік тому +3

      21 years old here, and I totally feel you, been with a girl, not bad, but broken, sometimes some people can drag you down while you are trying to bring them up. Being lonely makes you a better person, but from time to time we feel the need and the hurry of someone good coming to our lives. Let’s do the hard work till the time comes. Let’s become better men till there

    • @haven_amadeus
      @haven_amadeus Рік тому +3

      Your pain is felt my friend. I spent three years with a woman who destroyed my sense of self.
      Everything that made me proud of myself was gone, every skill, hobby, hope, and dream was dashed. Friends and family were cut off.
      I was the punchline of every joke amongst her friends and family.
      And the yelling, it never stopped, I never realized just how much it messed me up until after the relationship, the fear of conflict that comes from her still persists.
      But I know this, I know that I'm better for having lived that relationship, and I'm stronger for having left it.

  • @jamescrawford9643
    @jamescrawford9643 5 місяців тому +6

    I was once told that I expect too much of other people. This was a hidden compliment and a resource for me. Acceptance of others selfishness and limitations is the toughest thing I've had a real hard time understanding. Live and like yourself because most others are a mess in the Head! Codependency is self-destructive!
    Independence is it's own reward!👍

  • @TotallyNotThatOneGuy
    @TotallyNotThatOneGuy Рік тому +1295

    Almost 3 years ago I lost my wife, my soulmate. The hole in your chest and the emptiness it leaves is almost unbearable. Losing your other half is a loneliness I would never wish on someone.

    • @sunshinedragon5042
      @sunshinedragon5042 Рік тому +39

      It feels indescribable losing someone so important in your life, i cant express how much i connect with your words here

    • @Pearlygatesbouncer
      @Pearlygatesbouncer Рік тому +20

      Hope you’re keeping well man

    • @jjcoola998
      @jjcoola998 Рік тому +19

      At least you had someone my guy.. better to have and lost

    • @sweef25
      @sweef25 Рік тому +10

      I wish you all the best and hope you're doing well man...

    • @MW-tt3fy
      @MW-tt3fy Рік тому +18

      Unfortunately, many older couples argue about trifles - and only realize after the loss which angel they have lost. Too late to talk. Nice that you call her soul mate. And that you were better. I'm sorry for your loss.

  • @seamusconlan9673
    @seamusconlan9673 2 роки тому +346

    There's only one thing worse then feeling lonely and alone and that's feeling lonely and alone with the wrong person.

    • @commancheheart420
      @commancheheart420 2 роки тому +16

      Spent eleven years doing that and now that I am alone on my little farm I feel less lonely and anxious.

    • @arthurmorgan2026
      @arthurmorgan2026 2 роки тому +3

      Or surrounded by people who you deem friends but move on with the wind when it pleases. Loyalty in good and bad is rare.

    • @derp8575
      @derp8575 2 роки тому +1

      @@commancheheart420 Have you been stocking up on food, ammo, water, etc?

  • @GiantSquid2001
    @GiantSquid2001 Рік тому +564

    41 Years young man here and have found myself alone quite often. Never married and no kids. Parents been gone for over 10 years now and I have to agree 100 % it's all about learning yourself. I've been in good relationships and bad but in the end never lasted over two years. Have learned to be totally self sufficient. Yes, I do get lonely and occasionally bitter but have to remind myself to be constantly working on myself. Thanks for the episode.

    • @arthurcallahan4735
      @arthurcallahan4735 Рік тому +10

      Need more women in ur life.
      also if you are worried about kids then freeze sperm so when you meet a quality girl you can have a kid professionally and even choose some of the genetics now.

    • @Slothface
      @Slothface Рік тому +2

      a young man who has never been married or never had kids isn't a man by definition.

    • @DryCreekWranglerSchool
      @DryCreekWranglerSchool  Рік тому +176

      Who’s definition?

    • @Slothface
      @Slothface Рік тому +1

      @@DryCreekWranglerSchool rural western balkan, 21st century!

    • @humblebeginnings988
      @humblebeginnings988 Рік тому +5

      Wish this had been around before I lost my brother. He needed this.
      Thank you for posting.

  • @pattricksavanah8694
    @pattricksavanah8694 5 місяців тому +3

    Dude I accidentally found this......MAN....the best sermon I have ever sat threw.....much love.....THANK YOU!!!

  • @normanmacfarlane6724
    @normanmacfarlane6724 Рік тому +127

    Yep , I'm 65 and this gentleman speaks from the heart.
    He speaks the truth.

  • @brendangleeson4860
    @brendangleeson4860 2 роки тому +130

    "You be a strong man, you be a good man, and just let the world rage around you".....what a freaking quote. I will never forget that. Just found you today on youtube Dwayne and I've watched three of your videos already. I am 22 years old, in the Military for almost 5 years now. In college, kinda losing my way. But trying to be a better man, and leave a hole when I leave this world. God bless ya Dwayne, thank you for all the advice. You make me want to be better and be a good man.

  • @Saandwwich
    @Saandwwich Рік тому +170

    Im not even that lonely, I just like listening to this guy. He's so chill about everything he's chatting about in this video

  • @adam-_-923
    @adam-_-923 Місяць тому +3

    10:46 "But if you're with yourself, and yourself is always beating you up, you're not gonna want to be with yourself" Exactly my issues. Thanks for the insight.

  • @floydgonzales3864
    @floydgonzales3864 2 роки тому +57

    76yo, married man for 54 years. A wonderful message about dealing with being alone. One should recognize that neither your wife, your children, your friends or any of your possessions are yours. You only borrow them for a while. You make a good point about beating yourself up and not liking yourself. You have to be kind to yourself. No one wants to live with or be friends with a downer, someone with a cloud over there head.

  • @gordonfreemen1920
    @gordonfreemen1920 2 роки тому +187

    We need to spread this guy around some more. I feel comforted and inspired.

  • @doctorfeinstone6524
    @doctorfeinstone6524 Рік тому +525

    I'm 42, I'm an only child, and was raised in a neighborhood full of mostly senior citizens. I'm autistic so social skills are pretty much not an option for me. Sometimes loneliness really is a crippling darkness that hangs over me and other times it's not so bad. But my issue isn't just with women, it's with people in general. I've always had a hard time making friends and that's never changed. Just my cross to bear I guess

    • @andresalcala3722
      @andresalcala3722 Рік тому +30

      Go out more and let it come naturally and don’t go out to meet people just go out and visit places and when you meet people just connect

    • @Mr.Classic91
      @Mr.Classic91 Рік тому +40

      Similar situation, but man being alone is way better than being with a bad woman, trust me partner

    • @joeglennaz
      @joeglennaz Рік тому +1

      How do I feel for you. Where do you live? I live in Phoenix Arizona.

    • @bigtime69420
      @bigtime69420 Рік тому +43

      I’m 35, autistic, divorced, honestly join a club you’re interested in. I love model trains and model rc planes so I joined a model railroad club and a model rc plane club and have made real genuine friends and it’s awesome getting to be around people that don’t care how nerdy and awkward you are because everyone there is but everyone is extremely nice too.

    • @karllager2214
      @karllager2214 Рік тому +4

      Sounds weird but join a coed team "sport" like bowling league or softball. Bowling leagues are low pressure environments and you'll meet plenty of people.

  • @MF_Mauro
    @MF_Mauro 5 місяців тому +2

    You reminded my grandfather, he passes away 3 years ago, he was a real cowboy like you, thanks for your words, I'm from Atopixco, Hidalgo, a little town in México, thanks for all the wisdom.

  • @traumaxray
    @traumaxray Рік тому +194

    I am 21 I am exhausted every day. I don’t have many friends I work, these 20 minutes have given me so much advice thank you.

    • @christerror7323
      @christerror7323 Рік тому +4

      wait till you get 30

    • @sebastiano2508
      @sebastiano2508 Рік тому +2

      I'm also 21, working and soon I will also start my studies. I'm trying everything to feel better, hopefully it will. But I also hope you can somehow work out things for yourself.

    • @discipleofjesus719
      @discipleofjesus719 Рік тому +3

      Just wanna say hope you feel better. Although you feel alone, just know that you’re still valuable and loved. May God bless you, and He is your companion too 🤍
      Jesus said “Come to Me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest” Matthew 11:28

    • @sebastiano2508
      @sebastiano2508 Рік тому

      @@discipleofjesus719 Jesus wouldn't want us to suffer like this.

    • @discipleofjesus719
      @discipleofjesus719 Рік тому

      @@sebastiano2508 hey I’m sorry for what you’re going through right now. I get that it’s hard. This world will come with its hardships, Jesus never promised that it wouldn’t. But He is there to support us and help us get through whatever it is. And our sufferings can help us become stronger. You must be going through a lot, but just know that it is possible for you to overcome it by the grace of God.
      Jesus said “I told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world you will have trouble, but be brave! I have defeated the world.”
      ‭‭John‬ ‭16‬:‭33‬ ‭
      Wishing you nothing but the best

  • @brianjansen3103
    @brianjansen3103 Рік тому +152

    When I get really lonely I'll go out & hang around with people & it almost always reminds me why I spend so much time alone

  • @Clementinewoofwoof
    @Clementinewoofwoof Рік тому +128

    This is like sitting down along side a grandfather, my grandfather is still alive, but it’s good to have people like this in the world, it just makes you feel like you’re sitting with them by the fireplace as they talk about life, it’s very relatable. Thank you for the contact that you create.

    • @batflashzyzz
      @batflashzyzz Рік тому

      this cannel really bringing ppl from everywhere 💪

  • @derrickguo9038
    @derrickguo9038 3 місяці тому +1

    Such a wise advice. Instead of finding someone else, be a good companion to yourself. I feel peaceful. Thank you sir.

  • @maryhutchins8866
    @maryhutchins8866 Рік тому +472

    I'm a 65 year old widow and am alone alot, but rarely lonely. I enjoy my own company not only because I like myself but because I've been around enough people to know I'd rather be alone than sorry. I feel for young men in this current world and pray for them. My message to them is don't settle for any woman who berates you, be comfortable with yourself and let the Lord lead you to the right partner.

    • @Internetexplorer2
      @Internetexplorer2 Рік тому +3

      Amen brother

    • @anneperry9014
      @anneperry9014 Рік тому +4

      Well said my lovely. Amen, totally agree!.....😊

    • @Vashti0825
      @Vashti0825 Рік тому +15

      I am 61 years old and recently divorced. I'm happier alone than alone in a marriage.

    • @ralphmichaels643
      @ralphmichaels643 Рік тому +2

      Amen. Well spoken ✝️

    • @Kkellyd1
      @Kkellyd1 Рік тому +2

      Mary I totally agree

  • @tomfolkes4997
    @tomfolkes4997 2 роки тому +247

    Spot on, Dwayne. I'm 80 now, but back in my forties I learned that I can't be responsible for somebody else being happy, nor they for me. Happiness is a choice we make for ourselves. Likewise, unhappiness is not because of somebody else. It is a choice we make. Oh, people can disappoint us, but that doesn't mean we have to be unhappy as a result. It simply presents us with another choice to make regarding that relationship. As you said, if we are comfortable in our own skin (hopefully because we have done the requisite homework) nobody can penetrate our happiness without our permission. As another commenter said, there is a difference between solitude and loneliness. Great things can be accomplished in solitude, not so much in loneliness. Your videos have given me a lot of pause to reflect on the days when I had a Buckskin quarter horse, and it always puts a smile on my face. Thank you, brother, much appreciated.

    • @Garypiles
      @Garypiles 2 роки тому +1

      well said!

    • @jaystewart9947
      @jaystewart9947 2 роки тому

      Wisdom

    • @tomfolkes4997
      @tomfolkes4997 2 роки тому +2

      @@Roger-tv7sf I have nothing but the highest regard for Dewayne and his videos. Your sniping at my typo, well, that's another matter.

    • @freezinginhere
      @freezinginhere 2 роки тому +2

      There's a buckskin quarter horse in my life. He makes everything better that's for sure.

    • @tomfolkes4997
      @tomfolkes4997 2 роки тому +6

      @@freezinginhere When I bought my Buck back in 1966, I had just returned from Vietnam and having a horse was one of my youthful bucket list items. He was 9 years old and was an experienced ranch horse, but had been previously owned by a family that bought him for their daughter who wasn't really interested.... so he had been left to pasture for a couple of years and was in really bad shape. Hooves so long that they were curling up, his coat so sunburned by the Florida sun that he looked more white than buck skin, and had a terrible sun cancer spot on his pink nostril. I was naive about caring for a horse, but fortunately I was able to board him at a farm near where I lived and with the help and advice of the farmer, brought him back to peak health and condition. He knew more about being ridden that I did about riding, but he also knew that I was a worthy pupil for having shown him the love and attention that he needed. It was a good time.
      One of the things I enjoy about Dewayne's chats is finding out that I did at least a few things right while Buck and I were pards.

  • @tracysimon7972
    @tracysimon7972 2 роки тому +627

    I'm a 44 YO black woman. I just found your channel, and I am happy I did. Your messages are applicable to a spectrum of ages and lifestyles. Thank you Sir for sharing your wisdom with the world.

    • @Ms.Irod2024
      @Ms.Irod2024 Рік тому +17

      i agree as a 39 yr old Puerto Rican , i can relate to this video and comment so much , blessings

    • @janelleg597
      @janelleg597 Рік тому +3

      Yay welcome

    • @Benstormcrow
      @Benstormcrow Рік тому +1

      Bot.

    • @rollingstoun577
      @rollingstoun577 Рік тому

      Why did you mention your colour? That's racist.

    • @gavinrouse3504
      @gavinrouse3504 Рік тому

      ​@@Benstormcrow you're ignorant

  • @kuz789ayi
    @kuz789ayi 8 днів тому +1

    The father I never had but always wanted. Thank you for your wisdom and understanding.

  • @cfd335346
    @cfd335346 2 роки тому +403

    Dwayne is like the father some never had or he can be the man that’s truthful with everyone and tells you things your daddy was afraid to teach you

    • @FiloLopez
      @FiloLopez 2 роки тому +3

      Good ol’ telling it like it is, never goes out of style. My hat’s off to Mr. Dwayne, once again.

    • @RKar2009
      @RKar2009 2 роки тому +1

      So true

    • @RKar2009
      @RKar2009 2 роки тому +3

      Man his talk and voice calming in a very crazy world!

    • @irvingporter4925
      @irvingporter4925 2 роки тому

      So true

    • @unknown81360
      @unknown81360 2 роки тому +4

      @@EricCampbellUAV This ladies and gentlemen, is a textbook example of how some people will hate on everything.

  • @DavesGunsGames
    @DavesGunsGames 2 роки тому +151

    For men who are lonely I'm 33 years old now. Outside of work and life itself I've found a way to cope with life playing guitar and piano maybe that might not be for you but what I can say is find a hobby or something that drives you to continue doing it and enjoying it in the moment when your alone with yourself. Fishing hunting drawing art and or playing an instrument even having a pet can be a huge help. There was a point in my life where I wanted to end my life. I don't do drugs smoke or drink. I didn't know what to do or where to turn I was coming home from work one night around midnight driving home. I live in the country I was going 50 mph I decided to push it to 110 mph and was shaking ready to yank the wheel sending me into a ditch ending everything.... I slowly stopped and stopped. I made it home woke up the next day and went to work and a coworker was talking about his new guitar he had got. I was curious and got to talking and came to getting my own. It's been 3 years now of playing and nothing makes me feel better like this guitar.... It makes everything go away it melts my feelings away. I got to thinking about it how instant it was and how it all fell into place in that moment and all I can say is to never give up. Keep your circle small, work hard, keep drama away and do what makes you happy. In the end it kinda sorts itself out and don't let anyone tell you that you NEED to be with a woman or in a relationship to live a good life. You can live a good full life even by yourself. Work hard and prosper brother's and God speed. Don't give up.....

    • @SlayerRiley
      @SlayerRiley 2 роки тому +3

      @@JerelLorenzo Go out there and make a life for yourself, instead of repeating nonsense on the internet, it'll do you good, friend.

    • @Timewalker13
      @Timewalker13 2 роки тому +1

      I think we've lived the same life.

    • @fidelio9301
      @fidelio9301 2 роки тому

      How depressing

    • @jeanlanz2344
      @jeanlanz2344 2 роки тому +4

      Thank God you're here, friend. God loves you. You are precious to him; he gave his life for you so you can enjoy a beautiful eternal life with him and your loved ones. So happy you find joy in music! Be well.

    • @freetobme
      @freetobme 2 роки тому +3

      great advice, that I think pertains to men and women! no one needs anyone but we all desire some kind of company sometimes. 🙏

  • @Sidney-ov8ws
    @Sidney-ov8ws Рік тому +156

    Just lost my father a few days ago. Feel like this is something he would say to me, the way he would say it to me. Thank you for giving me a piece of him tonight.

    • @Sidney-ov8ws
      @Sidney-ov8ws Рік тому +8

      I am a 23 year old woman who has lived a lot of life so far. I was trapped in a home fire and escaped, was in a car accident that made my baby 2 months premature, my father passed away suddenly in front of me a few days ago. And more obviously lol. (All Within the past 2 years). I learned a long time ago that you are the only one who will be with you for the rest of your life guaranteed. So make sure you can deal with yourself for that long. And if you can’t then figure out what you don’t like about yourself and change it. Also sometimes we go through terrible things even if you try to be a good person every day. Maybe bad things happen to good people to test if they are going to stay good people strong in their convictions and morals. I’m not sure yet. I hope things get better for me but maybe there is no exchange of good karma or an ultimate reason why I went through these things. But having those beliefs help me cope.

    • @homeostasis1123
      @homeostasis1123 Рік тому +7

      @@Sidney-ov8ws I'm sorry Sidney, that's really unfortunate to hear about your recent times. You are followed by your father, to watch over you and the young ones. The Creator has a plan, even if we don't see eye to eye with said purposeful plan. If you believe in god there is always a friend no matter the darkness. i hope this comment finds you in a peaceful manner

    • @Clodhopping
      @Clodhopping Рік тому +8

      Sidney, I lost my father in late 2020. I'm not a young man but it still hurts. He was the strong man who taught me to ride a bicycle, drive a car, work with wood and tools, sew buttons, and be self-sufficient. He gave me his skills to look after myself. That's his legacy. Your Dad will have left you similar gifts 💪👍

    • @savionnebanton2220
      @savionnebanton2220 Рік тому +6

      I’m so sorry for your loss. We’re unfortunately in the same situation. I’m sure he meant so much to you. I hate this feeling so much but I know he wouldn’t want me to mope. That’s the only thing keeping me sane. I know he loves me to death and if there was one thing he wants me to know, it’s that he loves his kids more than anything in the world and know time will heal all wounds 🤟🏽

    • @michaellendzian2655
      @michaellendzian2655 Рік тому

      Take care.

  • @EmmanuelBastien
    @EmmanuelBastien 3 місяці тому +1

    I'm a man of a few words and articulating the gravity of my situation and the timing of this helpful video is unfathomable Thank you Buddy I'll try to never forget this

  • @user-yi7td2sq9b
    @user-yi7td2sq9b 2 роки тому +91

    I got divorced this year at 27. She found another man, moved away, etc; it was devastating to my self esteem. I cautiously started talking to another girl over the last couple months, but I really liked her. I treated her well, went on dates, talked every single day, and I found out she was "seeing" an ex boyfriend of hers on the side. Again, devastating. More lies and deceit. But, I'm going to be ok. I'll have to learn to be alone for a little while.

    • @mystictraveler8642
      @mystictraveler8642 2 роки тому +4

      I hope you can heal soon. It's tough but with time....your heart will heal.

    • @badgerlife9541
      @badgerlife9541 2 роки тому +5

      That sucks, sorry to hear you got disappointed. But these days it’s almost the norm for both men and women to not commit when “only” dating. The only solution is: be very direct from the start. Tell them what you want and what’s a deal breaker. Talk early and honestly. Otherwise, it’s a waste of time.

    • @AceSfx
      @AceSfx 2 роки тому +5

      Don't get too down on yourself man, it sounds like you are a great guy and none of these girls deserve you, keep your head up and try to enjoy the little things in life.

    • @societyreborn33
      @societyreborn33 2 роки тому +6

      1year divorced after 16 years married. Ran off w another guy after cheating, they only lasted 4 months. Never felt so low, so worthless. She was the parasite he described. I feel you bro. What helped me? 1)wake up early every morning w a cold shower 2) pullups pushups dips, and run 2 Mike's every day 3) complete sobriety though I never really drank or smoked often 4) ESTHER PEREL go get her book or watch her speak on UA-cam, really eye opening for me

    • @ExorHC
      @ExorHC 2 роки тому +3

      Head up King. No Bad Days, Only good days!

  • @Henry11340
    @Henry11340 Рік тому +783

    Im a 27 year old dude. This actually did help me. Thank you so much for actually acknowledging how horrible the loneliness pandemic is. The media only scoffs and laughs at it, as do many many women.
    Sometimes I find it really difficult to not be hateful. Your advice is really good. Consider doing a follow up to this video if you think or more things to say.
    Edit: 7 months later. Forgot I wrote this. I’m glad I did, because some these comments make me want to press the end humanity button. Thanks to those of you who gave kind and thoughtful replies.

    • @RedbeardJack
      @RedbeardJack Рік тому +16

      Covid pandemic did change everything, and it's never acknowledged. Everyone is scared, no one socializes, and the only thing people have is fear. It will get better in time though, I do not think society can stay in fear forever. Try to show compassion instead, or that is what I do. Imagine how much these people are suffering being so afraid. And with women, that must be awful to be trapped in one's on head by fear, so I try to just smile and speak softly if I detect a woman is afraid.

    • @OutragedPufferfish
      @OutragedPufferfish Рік тому +13

      Women laugh at the loneliness epidemic? Evidence?

    • @anothernobody1804
      @anothernobody1804 Рік тому +18

      It’s not just women laughing. It’s shitty people who are miserable that feel better tearing others down

    • @RedbeardJack
      @RedbeardJack Рік тому +2

      @@anothernobody1804 Oh, that part is cascading. We face those people and actually have a choice. We can return kindness instead, and it may be the first time that poor soul who is spitting hate at you has ever heard kindness in their life.

    • @blondie3743
      @blondie3743 Рік тому +10

      Bruh women are lonely in this pandemic too tf you even bring that up for

  • @HowardHarper-ct9mx
    @HowardHarper-ct9mx 11 місяців тому +244

    You are 100 percent right. I was homeless in 2015 and I made a choice to change that ,and now I have my own place and a van. It wasn't easy and I worked really hard and I didn't give up.

    • @matts1545
      @matts1545 11 місяців тому +7

      Keep it up bro proud of you, keep using the job experience to switch to other jobs and negotiate better pay start a side hustle people sell water for millions just gotta find something you like or something to help people or solve problems

    • @עומריסבג-ק6י
      @עומריסבג-ק6י 11 місяців тому +2

      imagine your house was in gaza

    • @JohnPaulHatterTheSecond
      @JohnPaulHatterTheSecond 11 місяців тому

      Why​@@עומריסבג-ק6י

    • @NAVYCORPSMAN906
      @NAVYCORPSMAN906 11 місяців тому +3

      Be your own best friend, you will never be alone…do mindfulness…self-love and self-care are important keys for this life journey…Good luck…

    • @diginandpitchin
      @diginandpitchin 10 місяців тому +2

      Happy for you. 🙌🏾

  • @allenbowden2138
    @allenbowden2138 Місяць тому

    I want you to know that is exactly the confirmation I needed to hear this day. I love you brother and you keep doing what you're doing. My prayers be with you.

  • @sekoncen9559
    @sekoncen9559 Рік тому +1046

    Honestly, I'm just glad to hear an elder man say some kind words instead of telling me how worthless I am for not wanting to work 16-hour work days for the rest of my life.

    • @ChiefPayway
      @ChiefPayway Рік тому +25

      aka Andrew Tate

    • @jarodalden1394
      @jarodalden1394 Рік тому +11

      This comment caught my eye! I'm nobody. A little older then some. But young and dumb for sure. When we give grief to young people like that it's not that young kids don't "want" to work 16 hours days for the rest of their life it's more that they aren't willing to if that's what it takes. It's an eye opener and encouragement!

    • @L2PlayRunescape
      @L2PlayRunescape Рік тому +17

      Yeah and several other disparities ...
      >you're spoiled. Your generation was given everything and y'all still aren't happy.
      >you don't need sympathy. You think this is hard? When i was younger....
      >you can do anything you put your mind to. If you didn't achieve your goal it's because you didn't want it bad enough. No excuses.
      >your generation is so entitled and thinks the world owes them something. Let me tell you the world doesn't owe you a thing.
      Very encouraging and helpful ... s/

    • @Ez-lk2hl
      @Ez-lk2hl Рік тому +16

      @@L2PlayRunescapeit’s so funny to say that meanwhile hunger is still a problem, corruption is at the most it’s ever been, all the markets are all fucked up can’t even buy anything. Your lucky if you grew up back in that generation I rather get sent to war and die a hero than work all my life and be used like a toilet paper

    • @whitewolf9547
      @whitewolf9547 Рік тому +4

      @@Ez-lk2hlso true man. I would rather live back then and go through those problems. Modern times are so fast and overwhelming

  • @TheDevilYouKnoe
    @TheDevilYouKnoe Рік тому +158

    23 year old women here. I'd say even as an orphan I've never felt as alone as I do right now. Homeless , but nomadic , can hold my own my parents only ever taught me to survive outside. As a culture we've forgotten how to value each other. My heart goes out to men dealing with depression or loneliness that is overlooked out of societal expectations , you are seen. Unfortunately not by enough but some of us do want yall to know we care. And your feelings are valid.

    • @kjtesto5382
      @kjtesto5382 Рік тому +1

      How’s it going brother?

    • @kjtesto5382
      @kjtesto5382 Рік тому +6

      Sister*

    • @discipleofjesus719
      @discipleofjesus719 Рік тому +4

      Just as you said that we are valued and seen, the same goes for you. I’m sorry that you’re going through some hard times right now. You are so worth it and loved. God bless you and the Lord is there for you

    • @thetavibes9021
      @thetavibes9021 Рік тому

      You will unite... or you will fall.
      The game has been divide and rule.

    • @davidnorman2134
      @davidnorman2134 Рік тому

      Nice to meet you

  • @katieskivlog1965
    @katieskivlog1965 Рік тому +328

    Here I am struggling to get out of bed on Christmas of 2023, feeling the loneliness crush me. I searched loneliness into UA-cam and clicked on this video. Never heard of this channel before. I felt genuinely counseled and comforted by the words in this video. Some of the things said are things I’ve heard before, but for some reason, it hit a little different when hearing it from this man. I wanted to click off this video, to find something else to give me some mental stimulation. But I stayed through the whole thing. Thank you for this video. And to anyone else feeling alone, there’s always a seat available next to me. As long as you’re a good person to me, I’ll be a good person to you.

    • @jackdoesf1
      @jackdoesf1 Рік тому +4

      Lock in in your life make sure your mature enough I'm probably not struggling as much as you because I'm just grieving my old friends and have people I can talk to but just know your guide is going to have to make sure your mature enough grow with yourself through experience make friends who you know you can chill with who will never judge you then you cam think about girls and then being more of a man and then making the big memories be kind have banter and make sure you get enthusiastic if your not enthusiastic your gonna fail don't know why I'm trying to help you but I just feel like helping you because I'm at a low point too dude and because I've always liked helping others

    • @logandozzzog3131
      @logandozzzog3131 Рік тому

      Its not over til its over. We've got so much to go. Whether it be a day, year, second, minute, month or decade, so much happens and changes. Start seeing the world for the world, people for people, and things for thing. Dont try to predict the future or dwell on the past, live in the moment and focus on "whats my next move" rather than "If i didnt do this it could be different or "If i do this, this will happen" @@jackdoesf1

    • @logandozzzog3131
      @logandozzzog3131 Рік тому +3

      Its not over til its over. We've got so much to go. Whether it be a day, year, second, minute, month or decade, so much happens and changes. Start seeing the world for the world, people for people, and things for thing. Dont try to predict the future or dwell on the past, live in the moment and focus on "whats my next move" rather than "If i didnt do this it could be different or "If i do this, this will happen" @jackdoessiege

    • @jackdoesf1
      @jackdoesf1 Рік тому

      @@logandozzzog3131 True that you have to find your own way in life and how life works our for you

    • @prodhighnickybeats3712
      @prodhighnickybeats3712 Рік тому +7

      Man, I’m 18 and for the past few days the feeling of loneliness has hit me so hard I just fell into a haze for awhile. Hearing that I’m not the only one struggling gives me some hope that I can relate to others with these problems and feel less alone. I hope you can pull yourself out of it. I hope in the future you can look back and not even recognize the person you used to be compared to the amazingly fulfilled person you become. Thank you for sharing and letting me feel less alone.

  • @ethancabral7596
    @ethancabral7596 Місяць тому

    "if im constantly beating myself up because of my past, I'm not someone I want to be alone with." This speaks volumes and I just want to thank you. I hope to one day be nice to myself like you have learned- I look forward to changing myself to become someone I love. thank you.