I ran into my ex of 2,5 years this afternoon (which happened to be her birthday) after 6 months of NC. It was hard, she was a victim of abuse in the past, and since the breakup she's been in a full self-destruct cycle. It started out as a casual talk, which turned into a 2h conversation. She shared her new "party life", including all of the things you could think of. She also said she was glad we were no longer together as she is now "free": it feels like she is not only stuck in the relief stage, but also trying to re-live her past traumas. She also said she hasn't thought about me since the breakup, nor missed me. I always protected and provided for her, and seeing her in this (both physical and mental) state hurt like hell. I asked the few questions I felt I needed for my closure, wished her all the best, but seeing who she had become was really all I needed to know I had to move on. It's so hard to see someone you still love so deeply hurting themselves, giving their body away and going down a deep rabbit hole of substances etc... The feeling of powerlessness is devastating.
@@russellcarsner6330i don’t think so either, I feel like she is in denial / numbing the pain, but it’s like she is going through a « manic » state of bpd. I don’t think anyone who is happy needs to post 3x a day on social media, have sex with 20+ guys over a span of 4 months, and over drink / smoke. What really hit hard is that I realized I a mourning someone who no longer exists. It’s like missing Anakin Skywalker but it’s now Darth Vador
@AlexBlackVlogs1 dude I've been going through a VERY similar situation... it really is the hardest thing to have fallen in love with someone then watch them give themselves to others so effortlessly.. while you're left wondering "why not me?" I often get stuck in the question of, "who is the REAL version of this person?" Is it the one I fell in love with and miss? Or is it this new version? For context, me and my ex met in high school, dated for 4.5 years, had a son together, then she just up and left for another guy and got into all the drugs you can imagine and did all the wildest parties you can think of... I was only the 3rd guy she had ever been with when we dated, now I'm sure her number is in the 40s or higher.. Edit: I forgot to mention we have been separated for 10 years, but because we share a kid she came over this past Christmas. Told me she was detoxing, left her enabling bf, and wanted to fix things with our family. Told me she loved me and missed me the whole time. Thanked me for saving her life, basically everything I wanted to hear... and now? Literally after 1 month, she left me again for other guys (plural), and is back into drugs... unfortunately some people either get stuck and can't change or simply don't want to... it sucks man. Hope you're doing alright
My ex messaged me today after exactly 5 months of no contact. Just asking me how I am and that they wanted to give back my key. Told him I’m fine and he can throw away the key as I changed the locks already. I left the conversation as it is. He sent me one last message that he’s happy to hear I am doing well. My ex is a typical fearful avoidant. They really do always come back.. in my case it’s too late because I don’t want him back anymore. Anyways just wanted to thank you guys because your videos really helped me getting over my ex by using no contact.
@@Troy12-fitnessmodel 2 months is very fresh. I remember I was having ups and downs emotionally in that period. Stay strong. For me journaling also helped me a lot.
@@WoenselTuning still very much having the ups and downs. Great advice reference the journals I'll do that. I've recently bought coach craigs workbooks, did you try those?
@@Troy12-fitnessmodel no I did not buy it. But I did do the work. Journaling, exercising, meditating, manifesting and being grateful of what I do have beside a partner
Ha, like my ex will ever contact me. It’s never going to happen after over a year. She is very cold and mean at this point. 5 years down the drain and I have no idea why she broke up. She will not talk about it and I am not going to contact her at this point.
Same here , after a year of being dumped for no apparent reason. It’s been a year since the dump and she appears so mean .After 4 years of a great relationship. Apparently she did not think so . Oh well
Good video! I can say that it is great when you have done the work on yourself and finally meet your ex. My breakup was more than two years ago, so the hurt feelings have subsided. The conversation was easy and I didn't feel the need at all to push anything. I saw the situation for what it is, and we will see what happens. It is a success story in it self whether I ever see my ex again or not.
This came into my feed at the right time. I’ll be meeting up with my ex after 3 months No Contact in a few days before attending a mutual friend’s wedding the following day. Unfortunately I was the one who had to break NC as the dumpee. Still, I have hope-not that we’ll get back together but that the conversation will go well enough that maybe we can establish some kind of connection again. And if not, I know I’ll be okay in the end without them. ❤
This sounds similar to my situation! Except it’s not a wedding, I contacted her after 2 months no contact for something and now we’re going to meet up - after some friendly chat and signs off affection and missing me. How’d it all go for you?
Craig... I met someone new..going on a second date and there was a disturbance in the force...my ex reached out . I don't believe it lol. I was certain she wouldn't.. This may turn into a major success story lol. She's acting like the break-up didn't happen. And I'm not that interested
My ex is crying to me about how I supposedly don't Love her anymore lol... so I sent her a song titled why can't this be love by Van Halen.. I recommend your workbooks to many people but most people are not willing to even take a look at their own behavior... none of my business
I feel bad for the people that are not willing to do the work.. I can see there very weak inside and so I try not to hurt their feelings but sometimes I throw it bluntly at them as only they can start to take the steps healing and growth.. they think I'm going to carry them around on my shoulders kind of weird I don't know? 🤣
Do we really need to talk with our ex? After almost 5 years of separation and a very tense and unfair divorce proceedings, there have been occasional seasons greetings. My ex has been contacting me for photos and I refuse any kind of transaction that does not transit through a mediator in order to reconsider my rejected demands. My ex has always refused a mediation and continues to do so. I definitely see no need to open the can of worms. Conversing through a mediator, as was the case through our lawyers, can be an interesting option in some cases.
I met with her, we talked about what’s new and stuff she was teasing me with stuff like I did not change, well I made her smile few times and teased her a bit too… she wanted to only know something new about me she did not tell me a lot I was trying to get to know more she did not tell me so I was like if she does not want to tell me something new why would I either .but I did not try to flirt or touch. stayed strong tried to be happy and make eye contact. Did not do any mistakes but maybe was too neutral for first meeting but I did not want to push anything. But for sure I was anxious a lot.. probably was visible from start of the meet with body language up but later I took myself and was balanced… but in the other hand she does not want to meet again even tho she was the one who reached out with a meet up and also wanted to spend that day more time which would be a bad thing when. You want to make it quick so I did for 2 hours then had to leave she wants more but now she does not want to meet . Even tho she touched me purposely to try to flirt with me… even the eye contact… I dont get it whatever…. I’ll live my live to my fullest with or without them.
my ex reached out to me after almost 2 months of no contact asking if i was doing well, that she is so sorry for breaking my heart and that she hopes life is treating me well. I wasn't replying right away and i was acting mature and played it well in my opinion. She said that she is glad that im doing well and that she still cares about me and that she would like to see me to which i said that i we could see each other. She opened up about her life and what was going on since we broke up cus she had some problems with her mom and i knew about it and then she just said "sorry i don't want to bring you negativiry" and never replyed or texted since, it's been few days. What does that mean? Does it mean that its really over now or she just got emotional and needs some time?
The reason people are hurting is to deep wounds, they need healing and growth as some of us already know and if you guys were just do the workbooks or the creating feeling course.. My sound like some magic beans kind of talk but the reality is that if you don't heal and grow then how can you expect to show anybody your value, if you can't even see your own value yourself?
Me and my ex were friends for some years before we became a couple and we have some mutual friends and functions, so it is inevitable that we will meet again. However, I got monkeybranched from to another guy she had known for some months. Just a week after she broke up with me. Before I found out about the new guy I genuinely wanted to make it amicable. Now there is no way I will ever be friends with her again, even though I guess that is what she expects from me now during no contact. But no, it is another shot at the relationship or nothing for me. However I still don't know how to act of she contacts me. I have heard "mimic her enthusiasm" But if she sounds happy I don't really want to sound happy and upbeat to her. But I want to express and sound like I do fine in life. If she just reaches out for friendship and wants to chat I'm just gonna cut it short and tell her I wish her the best, but that I will take some time for myself and that we should continue to grow the distance between us
First of all: your ex must contact you 😂😂 Hope is the last thing you need to get rid of after a breakup. The one who truly loves you dont have doubts or shitty excuses
We were friends since 2019, than last december we started texting daily, she got a boyfriend and in april she stopped texting me alltogether because she started getting feelings for me. She broke up with her boyfriend in july and a couple of weeks later she texted me, we were together for about 3 months and it was magical but she has BDP, and she pushed me away and broke up with me. Now I am wondering was I just a rebound or what? It has been almost 2 months of no contact first couple of weeks she looked sad and posted sad music and all that but now she is happy, I havent begged or nothing.
I ran into my ex of 2,5 years this afternoon (which happened to be her birthday) after 6 months of NC. It was hard, she was a victim of abuse in the past, and since the breakup she's been in a full self-destruct cycle. It started out as a casual talk, which turned into a 2h conversation. She shared her new "party life", including all of the things you could think of. She also said she was glad we were no longer together as she is now "free": it feels like she is not only stuck in the relief stage, but also trying to re-live her past traumas.
She also said she hasn't thought about me since the breakup, nor missed me. I always protected and provided for her, and seeing her in this (both physical and mental) state hurt like hell. I asked the few questions I felt I needed for my closure, wished her all the best, but seeing who she had become was really all I needed to know I had to move on.
It's so hard to see someone you still love so deeply hurting themselves, giving their body away and going down a deep rabbit hole of substances etc... The feeling of powerlessness is devastating.
It's not true she is not happy..
@@russellcarsner6330i don’t think so either, I feel like she is in denial / numbing the pain, but it’s like she is going through a « manic » state of bpd.
I don’t think anyone who is happy needs to post 3x a day on social media, have sex with 20+ guys over a span of 4 months, and over drink / smoke.
What really hit hard is that I realized I a mourning someone who no longer exists. It’s like missing Anakin Skywalker but it’s now Darth Vador
@AlexBlackVlogs1 dude I've been going through a VERY similar situation... it really is the hardest thing to have fallen in love with someone then watch them give themselves to others so effortlessly.. while you're left wondering "why not me?"
I often get stuck in the question of, "who is the REAL version of this person?" Is it the one I fell in love with and miss? Or is it this new version?
For context, me and my ex met in high school, dated for 4.5 years, had a son together, then she just up and left for another guy and got into all the drugs you can imagine and did all the wildest parties you can think of... I was only the 3rd guy she had ever been with when we dated, now I'm sure her number is in the 40s or higher..
Edit: I forgot to mention we have been separated for 10 years, but because we share a kid she came over this past Christmas. Told me she was detoxing, left her enabling bf, and wanted to fix things with our family. Told me she loved me and missed me the whole time. Thanked me for saving her life, basically everything I wanted to hear... and now? Literally after 1 month, she left me again for other guys (plural), and is back into drugs... unfortunately some people either get stuck and can't change or simply don't want to... it sucks man. Hope you're doing alright
My ex messaged me today after exactly 5 months of no contact. Just asking me how I am and that they wanted to give back my key. Told him I’m fine and he can throw away the key as I changed the locks already. I left the conversation as it is. He sent me one last message that he’s happy to hear I am doing well. My ex is a typical fearful avoidant.
They really do always come back..
in my case it’s too late because I don’t want him back anymore.
Anyways just wanted to thank you guys because your videos really helped me getting over my ex by using no contact.
That's great to hear. Don't blame you at all.
My ex was an avoidant also. 2 months NC from her today
@@Troy12-fitnessmodel 2 months is very fresh. I remember I was having ups and downs emotionally in that period. Stay strong. For me journaling also helped me a lot.
@@WoenselTuning still very much having the ups and downs. Great advice reference the journals I'll do that. I've recently bought coach craigs workbooks, did you try those?
@@Troy12-fitnessmodel no I did not buy it. But I did do the work. Journaling, exercising, meditating, manifesting and being grateful of what I do have beside a partner
DON’T BE A PRIORITY TO ANYONE THAT TREAT YOU AS AN OPTION.
RESPECT YOURSELF❤
More videos on when you’re actually communicating/slowly getting back together with an ex please 🎉🎉🎉
Ha, like my ex will ever contact me. It’s never going to happen after over a year. She is very cold and mean at this point. 5 years down the drain and I have no idea why she broke up. She will not talk about it and I am not going to contact her at this point.
Same here , after a year of being dumped for no apparent reason. It’s been a year since the dump and she appears so mean .After 4 years of a great relationship. Apparently she did not think so . Oh well
It does not matter at all HOW she is. The only variable is how you handled her being that way. If you did it right she will
Same
You’re in the right place. Watch the videos here. You’ll be alright brother 👍
Good video! I can say that it is great when you have done the work on yourself and finally meet your ex.
My breakup was more than two years ago, so the hurt feelings have subsided. The conversation was easy and I didn't feel the need at all to push anything. I saw the situation for what it is, and we will see what happens. It is a success story in it self whether I ever see my ex again or not.
she's already in a new relationship so there's nothing to talk about. I won't settle for less and I know my worth.
Relatable
Good job!
This came into my feed at the right time. I’ll be meeting up with my ex after 3 months No Contact in a few days before attending a mutual friend’s wedding the following day. Unfortunately I was the one who had to break NC as the dumpee. Still, I have hope-not that we’ll get back together but that the conversation will go well enough that maybe we can establish some kind of connection again. And if not, I know I’ll be okay in the end without them. ❤
This sounds similar to my situation! Except it’s not a wedding, I contacted her after 2 months no contact for something and now we’re going to meet up - after some friendly chat and signs off affection and missing me. How’d it all go for you?
bout to stay up till 9am for this 😵💫🤝
Craig... I met someone new..going on a second date and there was a disturbance in the force...my ex reached out . I don't believe it lol. I was certain she wouldn't.. This may turn into a major success story lol. She's acting like the break-up didn't happen. And I'm not that interested
I say it all the time! Hope you've been committed to those workbooks!
@@craigkennethbreakupessentials yes. I've been very careful
What should we do in a long distance situations..when we can't set up a date? Can you talk more about this topic 😊
Maybe plan to meet each other
My ex is crying to me about how I supposedly don't Love her anymore lol... so I sent her a song titled why can't this be love by Van Halen.. I recommend your workbooks to many people but most people are not willing to even take a look at their own behavior... none of my business
I feel bad for the people that are not willing to do the work.. I can see there very weak inside and so I try not to hurt their feelings but sometimes I throw it bluntly at them as only they can start to take the steps healing and growth.. they think I'm going to carry them around on my shoulders kind of weird I don't know? 🤣
Do we really need to talk with our ex?
After almost 5 years of separation and a very tense and unfair divorce proceedings, there have been occasional seasons greetings. My ex has been contacting me for photos and I refuse any kind of transaction that does not transit through a mediator in order to reconsider my rejected demands. My ex has always refused a mediation and continues to do so. I definitely see no need to open the can of worms.
Conversing through a mediator, as was the case through our lawyers, can be an interesting option in some cases.
Hello coach Craig, can you do a video about “why is my ex taking so long to contact me”?
I met with her, we talked about what’s new and stuff she was teasing me with stuff like I did not change, well I made her smile few times and teased her a bit too… she wanted to only know something new about me she did not tell me a lot I was trying to get to know more she did not tell me so I was like if she does not want to tell me something new why would I either .but I did not try to flirt or touch. stayed strong tried to be happy and make eye contact. Did not do any mistakes but maybe was too neutral for first meeting but I did not want to push anything. But for sure I was anxious a lot.. probably was visible from start of the meet with body language up but later I took myself and was balanced… but in the other hand she does not want to meet again even tho she was the one who reached out with a meet up and also wanted to spend that day more time which would be a bad thing when. You want to make it quick so I did for 2 hours then had to leave she wants more but now she does not want to meet . Even tho she touched me purposely to try to flirt with me… even the eye contact… I dont get it whatever…. I’ll live my live to my fullest with or without them.
my ex reached out to me after almost 2 months of no contact asking if i was doing well, that she is so sorry for breaking my heart and that she hopes life is treating me well. I wasn't replying right away and i was acting mature and played it well in my opinion. She said that she is glad that im doing well and that she still cares about me and that she would like to see me to which i said that i we could see each other. She opened up about her life and what was going on since we broke up cus she had some problems with her mom and i knew about it and then she just said "sorry i don't want to bring you negativiry" and never replyed or texted since, it's been few days. What does that mean? Does it mean that its really over now or she just got emotional and needs some time?
It happens often that people just want to check if you're still into them to satisfy their ego, whether it be conscious or not.
The reason people are hurting is to deep wounds, they need healing and growth as some of us already know and if you guys were just do the workbooks or the creating feeling course.. My sound like some magic beans kind of talk but the reality is that if you don't heal and grow then how can you expect to show anybody your value, if you can't even see your own value yourself?
I apologize if there are typos, I tends to be writing these comments with speech to text as I'm driving
😂Doesn’t a date portray the dumped as desperado for the dumper?
What about if you Love them but had to leave because they chose addiction and criminal activity. 😮
Me and my ex were friends for some years before we became a couple and we have some mutual friends and functions, so it is inevitable that we will meet again.
However, I got monkeybranched from to another guy she had known for some months. Just a week after she broke up with me.
Before I found out about the new guy I genuinely wanted to make it amicable.
Now there is no way I will ever be friends with her again, even though I guess that is what she expects from me now during no contact. But no, it is another shot at the relationship or nothing for me.
However I still don't know how to act of she contacts me. I have heard "mimic her enthusiasm"
But if she sounds happy I don't really want to sound happy and upbeat to her. But I want to express and sound like I do fine in life.
If she just reaches out for friendship and wants to chat I'm just gonna cut it short and tell her I wish her the best, but that I will take some time for myself and that we should continue to grow the distance between us
First of all: your ex must contact you 😂😂
Hope is the last thing you need to get rid of after a breakup. The one who truly loves you dont have doubts or shitty excuses
We were friends since 2019, than last december we started texting daily, she got a boyfriend and in april she stopped texting me alltogether because she started getting feelings for me. She broke up with her boyfriend in july and a couple of weeks later she texted me, we were together for about 3 months and it was magical but she has BDP, and she pushed me away and broke up with me. Now I am wondering was I just a rebound or what? It has been almost 2 months of no contact first couple of weeks she looked sad and posted sad music and all that but now she is happy, I havent begged or nothing.
Get a coaching with Victoria or yours truly only on my website AskCraig.net
❤
Do i need the be the one to set the date or them craig?
They do imo. They need to at least reach out and start a convo about something. Then invite them over to hangout
@@dylanbaker5957 and when do i know its the right time