Hey Craig This is one of your best, if not your best video you have done and posted as a solo coach for a while! Top man! 10/10 Rest in peace Margaret God bless +
Hi Craig, I've been considering a one to one call with you to discuss my situation but find myself in a bit of a predicament at the moment regarding an urgent matter. I broke up with my ex a week ago, for the second time in the space of 2 weeks. I had initially followed all of your advice in regards to no contact, ending things on a good note and leaving with my head held high, although upset. It took just 5 days for her to come back, calling me early in the morning and inviting me back to hers to apologise. She literally threw herself around me and cried, it was amazing. Only a few days later, we ended up arguing again when she brought up old matters that I thought we had got past. I knew it was too soon to have this conversation deep down but she initiated it and I didn't think to try and delay the matter to just enjoy time together for a while first. The result, she broke things up again saying she was definite this time. A part of me still believes that she holds hope for our relationship, in that I can change (control my anxiety better). She has her own issues which have contributed to this scenario, being very avoidant and distant on a regular basis. She really struggles with closeness and I have pushed to have that in recent months fearing that she wasn't committed to the relationship. My issue is that we had booked a trip to Ireland this weekend with my brother and his partner, hoping to go as 2 couples. My brother and his partner have now said they aren't going, but I know she said she really wants to still go. Do I reach out and suggest we still go together or is this going to damage the no contact that I have re-enacted again? I'm comfortable in being able to enioy the day and then go our separate ways, and will make sure she knows that this isn't me agreeing to friendship. I just want some advice as to what to do. I really want to go myself and don't want to miss out. It feels like such a shame.
@@matthewjacques5644 I would scrap the Ireland idea completely! Two break ups, to soon! something is clearly not right! Don't you feel emotionally drained? Did she break up with you this time? If so she should reach out to you first! I would just be a ghost to her, like I did to my ex and 18 months later i am still the ghost
@@davidallahgod3217 I am very emotionally drained and we've argued a lot over the past few months but I think this is a result of her avoidant attachment style. I've been consciously working on my anxiety over recent weeks and felt Ireland might be an opportunity to show this to her without falling back into old habits. I really miss her and know that she still thinks about me. Deep down I think she loves me still but im scared she'll walk away from that over time thinking things weren't good and that they can't change going forward. It was almost unfair of her to reach out the first time and expect things to change within 5 days. To then have my heart broken again just made me really hurt and struggle to understand her thinking.
@@matthewjacques5644 Hey Matthew I know it feels rubbish, I've been here before in my life, woman are emotional creatures or emotional vampires, and we men are logical! think of it like this! If she don't come back, you have dodged a bullet! Imagine being with her in ten years time? And she leaves you! You would not be here talking to me now! You would really struggle! If she has high attraction she will contact you! if she has low attraction then she wont contact you! Either way you win! Because she's lost a good man! You should be proud and there is a woman out there who will stick by your side through thick and thin, but don't force things to happen! Trust me, because if it back fires your going to be devastated! If she broke it of, she has to fix it! If you broke it of, then you fix it! My ex called some heavies and had me escorted out the home and I never contacted her again! You know why? Respect means more than love! If your woman don't respect you, you will be her dance monkey 🐒 Believe me! Read the above many times and it will make perfect clear sense!
No contact only works if they actually care about you. If the guy doesn’t truely care about you as a person no amount of no contact works. Not all of them come back. And it’s for the best! If your really honest with yourself you will see they were not the best for you. Let them go.
Opposite of love isn’t hate- it’s indifference. The no contact approach works - problem is by the time they come back then you’ve realised you’re worth more and you’re not interested in them as you see them for what they are.
True for the most part, but sometimes the dumper has their reasons. It’s not to devalue or belittle anyone, but hey if they don’t truly care about you, they’ll stop reaching out
It starts working the minute you start using it. It isn't for that person, it's for you. He broke up with me, so I gave him the break up.I didn't look at his social media ( I still don't), I didn't reach out, I did my own thing. He reached out in 10 days ( we had spoken either by text or call daily ). It was really great for the first week, then he fell back into the same old behavior. I told him what I expected and have left it in his lap. Since the break up, I realized I wanted more and realigned myself to stay in my feminine energy. I was almost chasing and accepting crumbs of the love, respect, and attention I deserve. Forget that!!
Exactly 1 year ago my gf broke up with me and I found this channel. I prob watched every single one of them lol I was certain I lost the girl that was made for me. I spent all day scared of what my life would be without her. Every single day seemed grey and hopeless. So I started going to the boxing gym and doing everything I could to keep my mind busy. I felt like I was never gonna get over her. I started no contact but broke it a couple times. I started to realize that she seemed fine while I was down in the dumps, so I stayed in no contact. After a few months of letting everything die down and meeting someone new she reached out. It felt so damn good to be over her and see her realize she missed me. We were best friends and now we still talk almost weekly. I can tell after she's been out dating that she sees what a great relationship we had. I'm still with my new gf of 8 months. If anyone is struggling, stay strong, they don't come back when you are waiting on them. You will make it through this I promise. Go out, go to the gym, do anything, just stay busy because you're not gonna be in this position forever. Talk and meet people of the opposite sex it helps. Main thing I'm gonna leave you with is know your worth! Your ex might not reach out but if they don't you're gonna meet someone who you are gonna be ok they didn't come back. Time my friends the key is time. Take care my friend
@@JamieZarrr she hasn't said she wanted me to come back but when we first talked even now she tells me what she misses etc. She knows I have a gf and wouldn't cross that line. I was apart of her kids lives that doesn't have a dad really in the pic so I keep up with them.
@@joshinbama83 why did she break up with you, did she give you a reason? You say you've been with your new gf for 8 months... and your ex broke up with you a year ago? So, you got over your ex in just 4 months?
@@JamieZarrr yea she broke up with me because she said she had been married for 13 years and then I came along less than a year later. She gave me the ol I need time for myself. Yea it took me about 4 months of no contact before I moved on and didn't care if I heard from her or not
No contact really works … and I’m telling that from personal experience. But the sad part is that is always works when you’ve already get over that person.. it’d be amazing if it worked a bit earlier…
To me honest, I think it’s actually for the better if your ex waits at least 6 months maybe a year to reach out after the breakup. It gives you a chance to grow and work on yourself to be a better partner if they show up again. It doesn’t happen in 30 days or 3 months.
I have done the first five two times. Doing the rest at some point. They don't keep me warm at night. A year has gone by since the breakup, 8 months NC. Read somewhere that your absence alone won't make them change their mind. Something painful has to happen to them first so they can reflect about things like past relationships etc. If they are in a new relationship and having the best time of their lifes why would they care about how you're doing. Of course some people stay mute for 30 or 50 years but that's just crazy.
@@Baronide I did both workbooks + read most of the interesting references from the channel over the years. There’s so much to read and learn. Hang in there. If you do the work, trust the process and grow from it all, guess what - you win brother.
I find it bizarre that 4 months into no contact someone is suddenly going to be 'worried' that they've lost you after you've been in agony for months waiting for them to come back. How incredibly insulting for them to take that long to realize what hey had all along!
That's why channels like this exist. Because the natural tendency is to think like you think, when reality is that most of the times people realize their mistake after many months. If you think a about it, it's logical. Even if it was them who broke up, it was a big decision. That doesn't mean it was a right decision, but it felt right at the time. So, when times passes by, they may change their minds.
@@JamieZarrr Yeah when they can't find better and then they come back and you don't know where they've been or what diseases they may have picked up...not exactly ideal is it, but yeah just how the cookie crumbles unfortunately, we're living in very ungrateful and disposable times.
@@elharrop I heard someone say recently that the fact that they couldn't find anyone better is usually taken as an offence, when it should be taken as a compliment. What offends is that they weren't fully convinced that you were the one and they didn't need to look any further, but hey, that's the challenge: can you forgive their stupidity? Take into account that maybe they didn't think of it as "hey, let's look for something better!", maybe they were confused in their feelings and needed to miss you for a while to really value you.
The hurting is hell, but never ever forget the disrespect. The memories & pain, go hand in hand to remind you to stay away, & respect yourself. I pray you’re seeing how valuable you truly are.Much Love, & prayers❣️
Sorry to hear that. People do change, if all the good things you loved about him are true and he’s working on himself, it’s probably worth another shot and forgiveness
I let the person go altogether. Imagine waiting 2 years for someone to come back. If it was healthy we’d be together. It took a while to get over, not 100% over it but I’ve been going to the gym and doing therapy. Heal kings and queens even from this situation.
@@SneakersDanceLife in a way, my mother thought something happened to me and reached out to her. My ex ended up calling my phone like crazy thinking something happened to me. Long story, they really need time away to see what it’s like to be without you. Pretty much every day she was thinking about the thinks we use to do.
@@Oxfordstudios thanks for your quick response. Currently going through it rn lol but the roles are reversed (I’m a girl). I Did the most for a few months but we have a kid together. I’m finally quiet now tho lol. Hopefully things work out 💓
I spent the first month reaching out to him every couple days. Doing the whole "good reminder" texts and the "what about when you said" texts. I've done 3 weeks no contact and its still hard. I have good days and bad days. My feelings and what I want for myseld changes almost hourly. Im doing better than I was at first. I'll come back in 2 months to update:)
It's hard when it feels unfinished. His last text was 6 weeks ago when he wrote we ca ln talk after his work trip. I replied sure, no pressure. Never heard from him again. The past week my heartache was gone but for some reason today I keep seeing his face in my mind and my heart hurts bc it felt special and positive but ...the connection outside dates was low and distant. I told him we are not compatible. I know I did my best and i felt mistreated partially so I told him. The result is him telling me it's bad timing and he is emptionally unavailable. I thought I was over it but I'm feeling sad about it. I tell myself he lost me too as a person. I was sweet to him. I just expressed my boundaries bc he ignored me for days in between dates. So confusing bc the last time we met he held my hand as we were just sitting besides eachother. I feel I don't want to date anymore bc I would compare with him :(
He's an avoidant and also emotionally unavailable. He says he loves me and misses me but doesn't think we are meant to be. He said I can find a better man
When meeting a new person dating, always ask them how long it's been since last relationship. Make your choice carefully if you want to get involved.... or prepare for heartbreak
That’s a smart thing to do cause you definitely will be in for a surprise lol.. But then again in this video I think or in another of a no contact video he mentioned people will still think about there ex 1-3 years later. I believe it all depends on the person. I’ve heard people move on from 10-20 year relationship in months and be married and having kids and what not. And I’ve heard some story’s like the coaches mentioned still be hunged out on there ex after 1-3 years or maybe longer. Everyone is different and every persons mind is different. I’ve always said imagine we all had the same mind and same thoughts and same ways and same personalities etc. we will not be our own person well all be dam clones of each other or dam robots lol..
This is what happened to me i dated a girl for almost 1 month and after having our first kiss and our first sex she told me next night that she wanted to go back to her ex because she missed him
I think no contact should be used to work on yourself; it should not be used in hopes that the person who dumped you comes back. If they did not appreciate and love you when they had that relationship with you, what makes you think that if they come back things will be different. I would not trust them. We need someone who knows what he or she wants and is willing to work for it, not leave everything when things get difficult.
I had an ex who came back after 2 years of no contact.. and he has been married for 8 months but he told that he is not happy with his wife and they almost divorced. But for some reason I no longer want anything to do with him. Even though I don’t have a boyfriend, my feelings for him no longer exist.
@@Janeintheok yes I'm finally in the "letting go" process. At first I fought it, than felt it, than prayed about it and am moving on somehow. I'm laughing again.
I went thorugh the most painful breakup, and after a year he came back. He drove all the way to see me, but he still said he only wants to be friends with benefits. Now that I have met someone new, he started texting again, but I am already falling for the new guy
it doesn‘t always end like that! 😅 sometimes its mutual. My ex never treated me like shit, we kinda grow apart after 5 years. but he came back after NC and we are stronger and happier❤
Please do some research on avoidant personality disorder. It’s not their fault that they do this they need help and they can be helped being so dismissive immature. Get educated.
No contact makes sense. It will hurt. However, it's overall better for two individuals. If your ex don't return, it's better. Stay the course. No contact is the way.
This is the best video on when will they come back. I believe it takes at least 6 to 8 weeks to even notice you left. In that amount of time you better accept the truth move on and start improving your life. It sucks but I am doing it. You reach a point where you realize your worth, and I don't think about them coming back. If they do, go from there.
Some people do care, but as much as you have pride and may not wanna reach out (NC) they may be doing the same thing, continuously waiting on that person to text. It also may depend on how the relationship was and how it ended + plus who was the culprit to cause the end of the relationship plays a huge part. You have to use this time to heal, work on your self and change. Allow them to heal as well and mend old wounds. If they change look at it as if it’s for the better. They may end up back with reaching out and be willing to work things out or they won’t. Reguarless stay focus, accept responsibility (if you were the reason) and be better form of your self. Thank you coach.
that feeling when you think of them or even cry and think „pretty sure they can feel that I‘m suffering right now and it’s bad for no contact“. you really have to let go. quantum physics, law of attraction…
What's really crazy is I listened to the video "why your ex doesn't come back when they know you're waiting" this morning TWICE because it resonated with me so hard and now this video basically expands on the same concept!
It's okay, we make mistakes...especially right after the breakup. I think Craig posted a video that describes how the ex's wont hold that insecure behavior against us in the long run.
@@JamieZarrr so I've come to accept the mistakes I made during the break up thanks to all of Craig's videos and the creative healing course and workbooks. I'm doing a whole lot better now but there are still times when I start feeling down about everything. So to assuage that I'll seek out certain topics he talks about that resonate with me to sort of reassure me that I'm on the right path, doing the right thing.
I am going to be honest. Most of the time, exes don't come back, especially if you were dumped and they are showing indifference towards you. No contact is a Good thing to gain your power back and show your ex that you respect his/her decision. My ex told me that he will never fall in love with me and i was sad as hell but there is nothing I can do about it. I just hope that my heart will heal. Craig has a good content by the way. Good Luck to everyone (and sorry for the mistakes, I am french)
@@NiniLaFrench that's very, VERY recent. You don't know if he's coming back. It doesn't matter if he told you he will never love you. Of course he said that, that's what he is feeling now... but in the future? Maybe he will, maybe he won't. No-one knows. Not even him. You say "most exes don't come back". True, so what? According to studies cited by Coach Craig and Margaret, 1/3 of exes come back. 1/3 is less than half of them... but it is not a small percentage, either! It means 33% of exes come back. If there's a 33% likelihood of a dog biting me, I would be scared. P.S. the part in which you say "....especially if you were dumped and they're showing indifference towards you" makes no sense, if you think about it. When we talk about whether exes come back or not, we always talk about the dumpers, because they're the only ones who can come back. If you're the one who's been dumped, you can't come back, because you never left! It was them who wanted the break up! And regarding the indifference... don't trust that as a sign of anything. They may want you think they're indifferent, or they may feel indifferent... for the moment. When someone breaks up, it's because at this moment they're feeling indifference by definition, unless they break up due to circumstances outside the relationship (family situation, living apart, etc).
@@JamieZarrr Thank you for answering. In mys case, my ex was very calm when he said that. It was not out of anger and He repetead this and also said that He could not return what I gave him. Were come from very different worlds. He has some alcohol and drug issues just like ALL his friends and almost all His exes. I guess that as I have nothing to do with this (wich is a good thing) He couldn't fall in love with me. I might seem "boring" in comparison. He called me yesterday, to talk but there was nothing special.
@@NiniLaFrench Yes, I know from experience that when an ex says something in a calm way, that makes it look like they really mean it. But again, they do mean it NOW. Good thing you don't do drugs. Then he leaving you might be the best thing that ever happened to you. Nonetheless, we still don't know if he'll be interested in you again. Don't trust his words, trust his actions. The fact that you don't do drugs is not something that can prevent people from falling in love with you. Maybe it should be something that should make YOU think that you don't want to be in a relationship with him. Time will tell. In the meantime, enjoy your life with healthier people.
Good video, and like you said it’s about you. I wish more no contact folks emphasized the personal healing and development aspect, instead of ONLY the “I’ll show her” which is an antagonistic, disempowering frame. One’s personal growth and healing either way is just as if not more important than “showing our ex”.
I wish I’d found these videos three months ago but so glad I found them now! He cheated-I offered forgiveness, he didn’t want it. I only begged once, only did the “what about when you promised..” once. Ran into him in person after one month and asked if we could talk about things. He put me off. I went nc then and two months later am finally feeling alive again. It truly felt like I was shattered and dying. Now it’s a dull ache and I’m doing the things he and I planned to do but never got around to doing. I don’t think he’ll ever come back but after three years with me at least I know he’ll never forget me.
My partner of 19 years left me 5 months ago, I did everything I could to get him back, I was crying every day, thought my life was pointless without him. Started watching these non contact videos, spent time with friends, started actually analysing the relationship. He has blown hot and cold during the 5 months, telling me he loves me and then disappearing for days n days. Anyway I started no contact 10 days ago, started feeling much better in my self, stopped crying, took a little break. He called me yesterday, telling me he missed me so much, I was the only woman he ever loved and just wanted more time with me....let's see what happens from here on. He does seem to be feeling my loss. More importantly I'm not feeling that despair and desperation that I was feeling before. I feel I'll be fine with him or without him.
I am very happy for you. My husband left 2 weeks ago after 8 years together (6 years of marriage) and I’m feeling like you were feeling, like my life is pointless without him :( can’t wait to heal or for him to realize he wants to come back to me.
@marisolsuarezgarzon363 hi, it will be ok, you will be ok. Since I wrote that comment he has left and come back several times. I finally had enough and stopped talking, replying to his messages. He is now begging me to take him back but I'm just not feeling it any more. Went to meet him after him messaging several times. He commented on how good i looked. He on the other hand looked broken. Not sure if I want to give him another chance, think I may just be done with it.
True...don't waste time waiting for them to contact you. They made a choice to leave you. They moved on. Hurts but true. Let go...let go and don't look back and never call them when you are drunk
I found your channel a week ago, and I can tell everyone who sees my comment that your channel made me feel way better. I just needed to hear those things and this advice. I got the strength 💪🏻 and motivation to stay away from ex and not reach out to her. My ex has now unblocked me on WhatsApp, but I'm not saying anything. I won't say anything until she reaches out first. Thank you, Craig ! 😊 🙏
Focus on yourself dude. You'll be in a better mindset. I'm 2 weeks behind you. Same situation. Exercise, hang out with friends, and do your thing. You got this.
Ok so here’s my situation. I met a girl about a year and a half ago. She has 2 kids and I knew this from the start. The night we met was the best night of my life, and so was the next year and 4 months together. We did everything together, literally spent every day together, like twins and everyone we met said we were perfect for each other. I was supposed to leave for a job abroad a few before I met her, but love for me and I stayed in England to be with her. Being with someone with kids is soo difficult, and it really was a struggle and I put so much effort into it all. I ended up living with her sort of, well I had my own flat but would spend every day at hers. Even though the kids weren’t mine we really felt like a little family. Anyway like 6 weeks ago someone at a BBQ asked if we would have our own one day, she blurted out no which was quite a shock because she always said she did…I reacted the wrong way out of pure shock and insinuated that’s something we could break up over. I honestly didn’t mean it in retrospect, I value an amazing relationship over having one just to have kids. Anyway since that moment she started acting very off, would barely hug me or talk to me like we used to just a few days before. We had a big chat about it and I said I’m not that bothered about kids, but she said how would she know I wouldn’t change my mind in the future. Since then she was just a different person, and I acted off in response to that to try and show her how I didn’t like how she was being…which I regret so fucking much because I would do anything just to go back in time and level with her and say I just want you and we can work through this. We went out for drinks with friends 2 weeks ago and she broke up with me on the spot. I went to my mums and she didn’t speak to me for days, only one message to say it was definitely done and there’s no hope ever in the future. We had a phone call a few days after and she just said the same thing and that I should pick me stuff up from her mums. I’ve had the worst 2-3 weeks of my life, literally hell on earth missing her and trying to accept everything. She seems absolutely fine, like she’s going out and having a good time like I never existed. It’s just so strange because I can’t express how close we were and the moments we shared together; that’s so hard to find in life. I’m s very sentimental person and it’s killing me soul thinking about how she can just delete me just like that. She said we had some “good” memories which hurt more than I can say, because I know how special they were to her too at the time. It’s like the last month before we broke up over rid all the amazing times we had before that. After the phone can I messaged her once just to say I never ever meant to hurt her and that I just miss her company. It’s been like 10 days of no contact now. I’m going to Italy in a few days to stay with a friend for 3 weeks because it’s too painful being around here everything reminds me of her right now. I’m going to stick to the no contact but at the same time I don’t want to not regret trying one more time…I’m in such a mess guys.
Women always move on faster then men but then crash most of the time just as you get over them. This modern age has women acting foolish but their pride won't allow them to be accountable for their actions and society in the west reinforces it.
This was 1000% on point! They know when you don't care TRUST ME! My ex is in my house right now after a year of staying with her mom after a separation that forced me to kick her out. I begged back then and whatnot she treated me like garbage and then I just slowly said fuck it and started seeing someone else and completely forgot about my ex and BOOM there she is but it's too late I no longer have those feelings like I did
For the person going through it skeptical of all this. I’m going to come back in 3 months and let you know how it goes. My girl and I split. Didn’t speak for a weak and I just broke no contact yesterday because I saw something I didn’t like, that I took the wrong way. Back in no contact. I’ll update you on what happens in 3 months
He stayed out all night, told him I’m done, stay there don’t come back. It’s been 2 months, I’m silent, he is silent, and learning a lot about narcs. How is our behavior suppose to be with one drama, after another. Started learning about narcs, definitely working on myself.🙏❤️👍completely unacceptable when your married, karate time🤣 The healing is painful , but the outcome is very good.
I lost my father about a month ago. My girlfriend was so good and was there for me. I guess she postponed breaking up with me, because yesterday she broke up with me. She said she feels we have to work too hard to make this work. I do not agree, yes compromises were needed, but we love each other to death. She still says shes never loved someone like she loves me, but because shes very family oriented and doesnt see me in the ideal picture as the father of her children she put a stop to it. I'm ashamed to say this hurts more than the passing of my father..
I also did the no contact with my ex. Only to find out she moved on and it was a time for her to find somebody else. But it also gave me time for me to move on.
I just started today. Hurts like hell but I do think is best to ignore them for a while. Make them miss U even if they don't come back. It will help us heal.
Craig, thanks for reading my comment and for posting it to Instagram. ❤ He is in general blown away by the confidence I have now and by my ability to hold my standards. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your content. I've found it very early in the breakup and made no mistakes. 🙂❤ P.S. To everyone who thinks your ex will forget you - after 2,5 years he remembers EVERYTHING.
I'm so happy having my partner back after being separated for months.All thank to dr frank who help me to get back with my ex again,he has helped numerous number of people I will suggest you to get help from him
Hi Craig! My name is Manjunath from Bangalore India. I have been watching your videos for 2 hours and whatever you said was absolutely right. Thanks brother
I did the No contact thing. Not to get my ex back. I actually wrote to him after he brokke off (since we had some practocal stuff done) i wrote to him, "thankyou for being the one stopping our relationship. I couldnt do it myself" Obviously it was not meant to be. And I will not ever go back, Even if he might come back to me when and if he regrets. We have a history, and us meeting was a part of my journey of life. I believe we meet people in life for a reason. I have learned alot about myself. Thankyou 🙏
I had to dump my DM because no effort and his pulling away however he came back and offered marriage ,I then had an epiphany he didn't do the work and felt I was a option.I Love him and want him to put in the effort ! If he changes and opens up I will say yes of course!
A couple of weeks ago I met a girl who I instantly felt a deep connection with (which is extremely rare for me). We spent all evening and all night talking about all kinds of stuff, a couple of days later she invited me over to have dinner, play a game and watch a movie and we planned to spend new years eve together, going to a party together. The evening before new years eve we texted about the drinks we were going to bring and we both said we were looking forward to it. After that she went to a friend of hers. She ended up cancelling our date and she told me the reason was her friend was going through some though times and she didn´t want her to spend new years eve alone. A totally reasonable excuse of course, but even though she told me she felt bad about not being able to go I still was very disappointed. I spent all night wondering if I did or said anything wrong and if I blew my chances somehow. I felt very insecure and ended up texting her that the next time she and I decided to hang out it would have to be a proper date. She responded the next morning that she wasn´t mentally ready to have a date at the moment, because she broke up with her boyfriend less than a month before that, but things could change over time. I told her I didn't want to be just a friend and I wasn't planning to see her until she was ready for a date as I didn't want things to end in heartbreak. She understood and she thanked me for being honest with her. I added that I wasn't going to be the person to initiate contact again as I couldn't know if the situation somehow changed, which she said she totally understood. Since then I barely had any contact with her as I realized and knew from experience that forcing things was just going to drive her away. I watched some videos online about how to deal with break-ups even though we never had a proper relationship and in fact we just had a great time for a couple of days. I felt terrible for 2 days, but quickly started focussing on and working on myself. I am 100% convinced she also felt a connection with me, but she is just working out her feelings about everyone and everything. Now we are 1 week further in time and even though I really want to contact her and ask her how she is doing I am just going to continue focussing as much as possible on bettering myself. I decided to give her the time she needs and in doing so respect her wishes. I really hope though the advice given in this video also applies to me and her even though it is meant for people who just broke up and not for people who just have a connection. I want to get over her as soon as possible in case she doesn't contact me again, but I obviously hope she will contact me and when she does I am a better man. I am not certain things will work out the way I want it, but I promised myself I will not contact her for a couple of weeks and intend to keep that promise (she will go on a trip at the end of the month and I might wish her a good time or ask her how her trip went by then, but I might go absolutely 0 contact. Still working out what the best thing to do is.) If I remember this message I will come back in a few weeks to let you know how things went. I hope things went well so I can share my experiences with other people fearing to lose a connection and inspire them to do the same thing. I have to be honest though, I never felt how I feel now; both insecure and convinced I am doing the right thing simultaneously. I hope you guys can send me some positive energy in the meantime and wish me luck.
I experienced the same thing. This guy and I had a real connection we spent a lot of time in his apartment talking . Then we did the deed and something about it shifted his interest in me . Told me that we should just be friends eventhough he was the one pursuing me vehemently in the beginning. By this time I had fallen for him and it hurts so bad that he lost interest because he thought we were incompatible because of the sex.
If someone cheats and dump you for another girl it's NC forever.. even if he begs to take you back after 6mo. Don't make that mistake again.. they never change just move on and be the best version of yourself. Selflove can raise higher standards..
I messed up and what makes it even worse, I knew better. I was broken up with the beginning of November. Listening to my sister, I chased. She told me to do it so I’ll know where I stand with her. Chased for a whole month. When I reached out, my ex obliged, but it was always me reaching out. It wasn’t mutual. I was checking social media and all. When I realized what I was doing about a week ago, I stopped everything. Texting, calling, I even deleted social media apps and started focusing on me. I must say I instantly felt the confidence in me growing. I still had my moments where I was feeling down, but I’ve been doing gods so far. Is it too late for NC to work?🤷🏾♂️
No to be rude but it doesn't sound like you knew better. You will know better next time. It happens to all of us so don't worry. Best thing you can do now is NC and walk away. Focus on yourself, get a harmonica and learn to play it. Go to the gym if you need to. Stay active and invest in yourself now and always. That is what is key. I'm going through it now myself and I was dumped, I walked away, 3 1/2 months later I started my LLC. Learning guitar, working full time, not dating, not posting. Stay focused and you will feel better.
Please for your own health sake, if you end a relationship with a narc, never ever wish to take them back. And if they ended it , celebrate your freedom and move on. You can than me later
while you are focused on them that they will come back, so they are focused on that they will not come back, and as you forget about them, they start to remember you, the parallel goes in the opposite direction, and if they loved you, they will come back.
I broke up with my bf after 1 year of relationship. I realised in one of the conversation that he doesn’t know what he want for future and no plans to include me there. He wasn’t able to be committed. After 1 week of crying after breakup I reached out to him. I missed him and told him I was emotional and maybe expressed my feelings and expectations too aggressively. He accused me of breaking his heart and to dump him. I apologised hoping we can fix things. But it didn’t work. He was mad at me. I texted the next day but he ignored my text. Maybe he never loved me otherwise he would take my apology. If he really didn’t have any future plans with me then I’m thinking him not taking my apology is for the best! Unless he realise what he lost later and come back…
When you are Unbothered about the breakup, they can sense it. Makes them wonder. (How can they possibly live without ME? I'm the prize and a desirable catch)
I came across this video within a week of our breakup, after we'd exchanged a couple of emails back and forth. I wish I hadn't. 😂I might not be able to make things work without getting in touch again in the future, but I'm learning alot.
I initiated NC because i felt his feelings had changed and he was being disrespectfulto me. I gave him every opportunity to talk it out but he just kept contacting me to keep his toe dipped in and asking for favours. That hurt more. So i went NC cause everytime we spoke it played with my heartstrings. I sent a nice message telling him its hard to move on from someone you cared for so NC is best. Im just gutted they didnt fight for me. I will never reach out Its his move. I will try to get on with my life
What if I started no contact after begging and pleading and regulating myself to the friend one up until the 4 month mark. I’ve been doing no contact almost two months (didn’t know about it until then). Is there still hope for me?
Hi coach Craig, thank you for this video. Me and my 4yr LDR partner broke up 2 weeks ago, he didn't contact me since new year due to a big fight through chat (that's 4weeks earlier). My reason y I broke up with him (which is 2weeks ago )because I felt that he prioritize his friends and co worker over me. For brief background. His family and friends got his update when he will visit here from his work where I got the last update (few hours update instead of 1-2 days ahead compared to his family and friends. My schedule on work didn't jive with his visiting because I haven't give heads up on my work on his visit. Only see him dinner time and few minutes only before he leaves, this cycle was going on since November (2months), he says he loves me, our intimacy got colder and colder , since then I felt we are not connected anymore. And also have no sex since then. Due to that disapointment I buried my self over working over time. The day came when I reach my limit. It was few hrs before new years eve, I am aware he is not allowed to go home because he will have is duty on first day of January but he managed to visit his family, I was not updated again about this. He message me 2hrs before he arrived saying he will find a way to go home, knowing that his location is a 4-5 hrs drive. So I though he was driving way back, I got surprised that he told me that he is already there at his mom's house ,but I can't rush to visit him because I already got to our home with my family which is 1hr drive from their home and everybody in my home was expecting me to stay. My issue in what he did was he informed all his friends in work who will go with him which is 5-6hrs earlier, where he didn't informed me. I got mad and I informed him my concern, his response was surprisingly far from the issue I addressed. His immediate response was "why all you can see is the wrong things my family did" I didn't mention anything about his family during that time. I felt he is being defensive on his friends. He even told me I am the reason why he have an anxiety and panic attack when ever I message him. And he cut our communication totally since then.. Knowing myself ,I already have anxiety and panic attack and his (self diagnosed) metal issue gave me more burdens. Worse is I got depression because of that too, got only 5-15mins of sleep a day, no appetite and swinging from over thinking to total silence of depression,crying non stop. It was 11 days straight, I got tired of my mental health and too tired for my body, that's why I decided to broke up with him. Again it was 11 days he didn't spoke with me but when I msg him I about the break up within just 4 mins he agreed on my break up with him. And he even thank me. Reality hits me hard during that moment. Can't believe he agreed for just 4mins. My concern now here coach is, I am now unsure if what I did was right, and did I say something wrong? Is it my fault? Do you have video related to my situation, about accusing me in his mental health or partners being neglected because of his friends. Now I am working on myself, I found your channel being very informative and helpful for me. One at a time I know I will move on from what happened. I don't know what will happen d next but on your teachings, I know I should stay away from my ex while I am healing.
I think life is getting more real day by day and they are not coming back ever. We might talk over a chat or call but they will never take the decision to live together because they decided to go back to their spouse. It hurts like hell. I am struggling to be okay with that. Stuck between wanting them back to okay with not having them. Life is good lately.
No contact works on all humanity my ex contacted me 3 years later just recently on April 7th 2023 begging and pleading to get back with me but unfortunately I moved on with someone else
I met the most perfect woman for me in my whole life, I’m 38, she’s 39. only issue, she’s long distance. We formed a really deep connection, visited each other, had the most amazing time. She told me she’s never felt more at peace or able to relinquish control in her entire life. Just this past week she said a local guy expressed feelings for her and she’s going to pursue that because long distance would never work for her. She obviously withheld that information from me which hurt deeply and basically did a 180 overnight because of this other dude. We shared the same values but she couldn’t follow through on the one topic that mattered the most. It hurt, it still hurts, she was afraid of losing the connection we have but I told her we can’t be friends because even friends deserve better transparency and I do feel led on. Her friends there told me if I was local, it wouldn’t even be a question. Seems like she is one step below mature enough to realize all this. Should I do everything in my power to fight for her? Currently I’m in no contact. She’s left the door open for me to contact her in the future. I’m very torn here. I haven’t really been able to find videos with my situation.
Hi! I've been watching your channel for quite some time, may I ask what you should do if he / she contacted you just because he/she is asking their things back? Should you respond right away? What are you supposed to reply if you answered Yes?
My issue is that my ex after two great dates, unfriended me from FB, no rhyme or reason... no explanation given, 36 hours after the last date. I'm fine with it being over, if it truly is, but at the very least, the ex can offer me an explanation. I would have had more empathy if he would have just communicated whatever the issue was... it would have given me more clarity to move forward. I tried to stir up the conversation for a little bit of time, for clarification, and nothing... outside of a Happy Birthday, he's not contacted me for close to a month at this point. I'm working on myself, but I need the explanation for his ghosting- regardless of the no contact/ghosting.
My ex ended it because she has BPD and there's just no way to break the cycle that comes with that kind of a thing. I gave it my best shot, entered no contact, and that was that. I expect *nothing* out of this no contact, except my own health and growth. I started therapy, started going back to my hobbies, and so on. I'm stuck in the crappy emotional state that I would love for her to come back, but I know it's not best for either of us, so even if it happens... it's diggity done-zo. EDIT: I guess she didn't *technically* end it. But she was never going to say the words outright, so I did. Not that it matters, but just a detail to broaden the picture.
Hoping this really works… I thought I found the girl of my dreams as we started dating and connecting on a deeper level for about three weeks… only to have her tell me that she felt our pace was off and she didn’t want to continue… i wished her nothing but the best and haven’t reached out for the past month… I do still think about her and I do miss her.
Craig, I have been separated from my wife for two years and each time we go into no contact we start working on getting back together and then she wants out again! Now we are divorcing. Now every time we talk she angry towards me. So, I gone no contact and I am staying there until she calls me and like you said, wants to work on us. I am working on myself every day, not for her, but for me. I would like to get another opportunity with her. We have been together 27 years, and I am still in love with her, but I have to move on.
I’m in a weird place. After 4 months of NC, he came back saying he was thinking about me. I was polite in my response and told him I have no hard feelings. He said I helped him a lot with his confidence. And this was last week and now it’s silent again. I have no idea, so confusing. But this time, I’m not initiating like i used to before the NC
Coach, is there still any chance of my dumper reaching out? My dumper did not reach out for Christmas or New Years. I’ve also noticed that even though we still follow each other, she will not look at my Instagram stories when I post them. Does this mean all hope is lost? Going on 49 days of NC now, and the pain is unbearable
Did she say why she dumped you? I just dumped someone who said he didn't know what he wanted from the relationship. He's 64 and divorced for over 20 years. I got tired of his mind games. No aspersions cast upon you. I'm so sorry for your pain.
Even before I knew of no contact it used to work, what other choice did I have? It worked with multiple women multiple times, they’d come back after months and one even after two years, but fully hearted!!
I’ve been watching a lot of these kind of videos and they give me hope but I’m starting to wonder if hope is a bad thing. I’m over 2 weeks no contact and it is hell. As much as I want her back I just want the pain to go away
A most dismissive, too proud, arrogant ex who I was sure was the last man on earth who would ever contact me… texted me a year later! And he sent me a taxi bill from another country! If he can come back then anyone can. Only thing is I didn’t want to get into a relationship with him anymore as he had really shown lot of disrespect previously. So I asked him to move on! How tables reversed. At one point I was so crazy about him. And now despite being single I bid him bye. But ya, anyone can come back.
It seems that all of these kinds of breakups happen because the dumper is dismissive avoidant. They truly are the worst people at heart and absolutely broken in ways that we can't understand. Unfortunately they exist amd we are all powerless in changing them or the fact that they won't change themselves
Thank 😊 🙏 you coach Craig. Your advice entails maturity 👌 👏, wisdom, biblical teaching even without mentioning the word 'God.' Each time I miss 😢 him, I run to Jesus and the wise 🙏 people can puts in my path and that is coach Craig!!! Let Go and let God deal with him!
🤚🏻 Hi :) Its me, the dumper here!! This video so randomly popped up on in my algorithm!! I think this is sort of a sick game really. One person dumps and then there is a sort of psychology that pulls in to this unwanted rhythm right?? Look, when I dumped my ex, it was because I knew whole heartedly that after 8 yrs of the same song and dance that nothing was going to change! That would mean, I could stay but Id be settling...no thanx! Im worth so much more than that! How he feels and what he "thinks" no contact is doing to me, is the absolute opposite. Sure it stings, but there is no looking back for me. People if you truly love someone and you have hope and faith that yall can make it work, then do not play a vicious game of "no contact". Work! Get help! Keep fighting! Nothing is easy in life! Because while you think one person is sitting staring at a phone waiting for a msg, that person is long gone and you're going to sit there alone in all of your feelings alone, waiting for something thats never gonna happen for you!! Open those lines of communication and begin a healing journey together, get help together, fight for it together! ❤
Great reading this being a dumpee after 8 years together with my ex. I'm 4 months NC and really in a place were I'm moving on. NC works by getting yourself back not them. Great read from a dumpers perspective and raw format at that.
@@Troy12-fitnessmodel 8 yrs here to friend. I get it!! I think that time alone forces you to move on. Look at ur phone less, start seeing the opposite sex a little differently now, making decisions based on ur single life and not waiting for the "NC" to end. Looking back, what would you have changed?? I wouldve changed EVERYTHING! I wouldnt have relied in silly psychology warfare like nc and leave his msg on read because it makes him feel a certain way, or wait a whole 2 hrs and 12 min before answering his txt msg and he will love you more.....its all disgusting. Life is real! Its not a game. We should never want to make our partners feel left out or alone or sad because they miss you but we are following the "dont answer to quick rule" this week. 🙄 We couldve worked. We could've gotten help. We could've grown up. Now there are no more chances. As I am not willing to regress now. But thank you for sharing that with me. What would you have changed??
What about the scenario never is mentioned in your videos. The dumper conveniently meets someone right after the breakup and starts a rebound relationship during no contact...
What exactly do you mean by no contact “working?” If someone no contacts me, that’s it, I’m done. I don’t think about people who can’t even communicate their needs, or who aren’t emotionally mature enough to tell me how they’re feeling. Going no contact to manipulate someone to come back is childish. Do it for yourself, to heal.
Take a moment to subscribe! And of course get my help personally at my website!
Hey Craig
This is one of your best, if not your best video you have done and posted as a solo coach for a while!
Top man!
10/10
Rest in peace
Margaret
God bless
+
Hi Craig, I've been considering a one to one call with you to discuss my situation but find myself in a bit of a predicament at the moment regarding an urgent matter.
I broke up with my ex a week ago, for the second time in the space of 2 weeks. I had initially followed all of your advice in regards to no contact, ending things on a good note and leaving with my head held high, although upset. It took just 5 days for her to come back, calling me early in the morning and inviting me back to hers to apologise. She literally threw herself around me and cried, it was amazing. Only a few days later, we ended up arguing again when she brought up old matters that I thought we had got past. I knew it was too soon to have this conversation deep down but she initiated it and I didn't think to try and delay the matter to just enjoy time together for a while first. The result, she broke things up again saying she was definite this time.
A part of me still believes that she holds hope for our relationship, in that I can change (control my anxiety better). She has her own issues which have contributed to this scenario, being very avoidant and distant on a regular basis. She really struggles with closeness and I have pushed to have that in recent months fearing that she wasn't committed to the relationship.
My issue is that we had booked a trip to Ireland this weekend with my brother and his partner, hoping to go as 2 couples. My brother and his partner have now said they aren't going, but I know she said she really wants to still go. Do I reach out and suggest we still go together or is this going to damage the no contact that I have re-enacted again? I'm comfortable in being able to enioy the day and then go our separate ways, and will make sure she knows that this isn't me agreeing to friendship. I just want some advice as to what to do. I really want to go myself and don't want to miss out. It feels like such a shame.
@@matthewjacques5644
I would scrap the Ireland idea completely!
Two break ups, to soon! something is clearly not right!
Don't you feel emotionally drained?
Did she break up with you this time?
If so she should reach out to you first!
I would just be a ghost to her, like I did to my ex and 18 months later i am still the ghost
@@davidallahgod3217 I am very emotionally drained and we've argued a lot over the past few months but I think this is a result of her avoidant attachment style. I've been consciously working on my anxiety over recent weeks and felt Ireland might be an opportunity to show this to her without falling back into old habits. I really miss her and know that she still thinks about me. Deep down I think she loves me still but im scared she'll walk away from that over time thinking things weren't good and that they can't change going forward.
It was almost unfair of her to reach out the first time and expect things to change within 5 days. To then have my heart broken again just made me really hurt and struggle to understand her thinking.
@@matthewjacques5644
Hey Matthew I know it feels rubbish, I've been here before in my life, woman are emotional creatures or emotional vampires, and we men are logical!
think of it like this!
If she don't come back, you have dodged a bullet!
Imagine being with her in ten years time? And she leaves you!
You would not be here talking to me now!
You would really struggle!
If she has high attraction she will contact you!
if she has low attraction then she wont contact you!
Either way you win!
Because she's lost a good man!
You should be proud and there is a woman out there who will stick by your side through thick and thin, but don't force things to happen! Trust me, because if it back fires your going to be devastated!
If she broke it of, she has to fix it!
If you broke it of, then you fix it!
My ex called some heavies and had me escorted out the home and I never contacted her again!
You know why?
Respect means more than love!
If your woman don't respect you, you will be her dance monkey 🐒
Believe me!
Read the above many times and it will make perfect clear sense!
No contact only works if they actually care about you. If the guy doesn’t truely care about you as a person no amount of no contact works. Not all of them come back. And it’s for the best! If your really honest with yourself you will see they were not the best for you. Let them go.
Of course NC only works if they actually care about you! That's obvious, isn't it?
But remember, they can care about you and not love you...
@JamieZarr- Yeah, string u along in case the other person whom they have their eyes currently doesn’t work out …
If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don’t, they never were. Khalil Gibran
@@JamieZarrr that is not enough
Opposite of love isn’t hate- it’s indifference.
The no contact approach works - problem is by the time they come back then you’ve realised you’re worth more and you’re not interested in them as you see them for what they are.
Thats where fate comes in, its meant to be or its not
Sometimes that's the goal of no contact it starts off as u want them but it makes you get in tune with yourself
True for the most part, but sometimes the dumper has their reasons. It’s not to devalue or belittle anyone, but hey if they don’t truly care about you, they’ll stop reaching out
The opposite of love is fear. I feel indifference for some things or person and yet I am open…
It starts working the minute you start using it. It isn't for that person, it's for you. He broke up with me, so I gave him the break up.I didn't look at his social media ( I still don't), I didn't reach out, I did my own thing. He reached out in 10 days ( we had spoken either by text or call daily ). It was really great for the first week, then he fell back into the same old behavior. I told him what I expected and have left it in his lap. Since the break up, I realized I wanted more and realigned myself to stay in my feminine energy. I was almost chasing and accepting crumbs of the love, respect, and attention I deserve. Forget that!!
Update??
Exactly 1 year ago my gf broke up with me and I found this channel. I prob watched every single one of them lol I was certain I lost the girl that was made for me. I spent all day scared of what my life would be without her. Every single day seemed grey and hopeless. So I started going to the boxing gym and doing everything I could to keep my mind busy. I felt like I was never gonna get over her. I started no contact but broke it a couple times. I started to realize that she seemed fine while I was down in the dumps, so I stayed in no contact. After a few months of letting everything die down and meeting someone new she reached out. It felt so damn good to be over her and see her realize she missed me. We were best friends and now we still talk almost weekly. I can tell after she's been out dating that she sees what a great relationship we had. I'm still with my new gf of 8 months. If anyone is struggling, stay strong, they don't come back when you are waiting on them. You will make it through this I promise. Go out, go to the gym, do anything, just stay busy because you're not gonna be in this position forever. Talk and meet people of the opposite sex it helps. Main thing I'm gonna leave you with is know your worth! Your ex might not reach out but if they don't you're gonna meet someone who you are gonna be ok they didn't come back. Time my friends the key is time. Take care my friend
So, you don't love your ex anymore? Did she want to come back with you when she reached out, or did she just want to get in touch?
@@JamieZarrr she hasn't said she wanted me to come back but when we first talked even now she tells me what she misses etc. She knows I have a gf and wouldn't cross that line. I was apart of her kids lives that doesn't have a dad really in the pic so I keep up with them.
@@joshinbama83 why did she break up with you, did she give you a reason? You say you've been with your new gf for 8 months... and your ex broke up with you a year ago? So, you got over your ex in just 4 months?
@@JamieZarrr yea she broke up with me because she said she had been married for 13 years and then I came along less than a year later. She gave me the ol I need time for myself. Yea it took me about 4 months of no contact before I moved on and didn't care if I heard from her or not
@@JamieZarrr the 28th of this month I'll be with my new gf for 8 months. She broke up with me last dec 8th
No contact really works … and I’m telling that from personal experience. But the sad part is that is always works when you’ve already get over that person.. it’d be amazing if it worked a bit earlier…
Yes thats the point.. that you need to move on without chasing or begging😅😅😅 the tricks is good🤣
It worked for me on 2 different Girls within a month..
Absolutely! Exactly what happened to me the minute I said f this and found someone else she came back but I feel nothing
well but then it wasn‘t ‚the one‘? I never lost feelings.❤
I feel like it works only when we fully removed the attachment
To me honest, I think it’s actually for the better if your ex waits at least 6 months maybe a year to reach out after the breakup. It gives you a chance to grow and work on yourself to be a better partner if they show up again. It doesn’t happen in 30 days or 3 months.
Atleast 1 Year. Espacially when you find out she's been a tinder whore the whole year :)
Do The Knowledge 30 minutes a day and change your life!
@@FreekOne-u2n I’m sorry to hear that!
I have done the first five two times. Doing the rest at some point. They don't keep me warm at night. A year has gone by since the breakup, 8 months NC. Read somewhere that your absence alone won't make them change their mind. Something painful has to happen to them first so they can reflect about things like past relationships etc. If they are in a new relationship and having the best time of their lifes why would they care about how you're doing. Of course some people stay mute for 30 or 50 years but that's just crazy.
@@Baronide I did both workbooks + read most of the interesting references from the channel over the years. There’s so much to read and learn. Hang in there. If you do the work, trust the process and grow from it all, guess what - you win brother.
I find it bizarre that 4 months into no contact someone is suddenly going to be 'worried' that they've lost you after you've been in agony for months waiting for them to come back. How incredibly insulting for them to take that long to realize what hey had all along!
It's more psychological than logic
@@OpulentLight1True, just sad isn't it that people have to lose you, why can't people appreciate things when they have them?
That's why channels like this exist. Because the natural tendency is to think like you think, when reality is that most of the times people realize their mistake after many months. If you think a about it, it's logical. Even if it was them who broke up, it was a big decision. That doesn't mean it was a right decision, but it felt right at the time. So, when times passes by, they may change their minds.
@@JamieZarrr Yeah when they can't find better and then they come back and you don't know where they've been or what diseases they may have picked up...not exactly ideal is it, but yeah just how the cookie crumbles unfortunately, we're living in very ungrateful and disposable times.
@@elharrop I heard someone say recently that the fact that they couldn't find anyone better is usually taken as an offence, when it should be taken as a compliment. What offends is that they weren't fully convinced that you were the one and they didn't need to look any further, but hey, that's the challenge: can you forgive their stupidity? Take into account that maybe they didn't think of it as "hey, let's look for something better!", maybe they were confused in their feelings and needed to miss you for a while to really value you.
1 year of breakup and in no contact but it still hurts when I remember his disrespect
Sorry, my sister, it is well you will find someone who will respect you. I know you're GH so is me.
The hurting is hell, but never ever forget the disrespect. The memories & pain, go hand in hand to remind you to stay away, & respect yourself. I pray you’re seeing how valuable you truly are.Much Love, & prayers❣️
Sorry to hear that. People do change, if all the good things you loved about him are true and he’s working on himself, it’s probably worth another shot and forgiveness
I let the person go altogether. Imagine waiting 2 years for someone to come back. If it was healthy we’d be together. It took a while to get over, not 100% over it but I’ve been going to the gym and doing therapy. Heal kings and queens even from this situation.
Sound sick with codependency to wait like that.
Ok my bad it works, me and my ex are back on.
@@Oxfordstudios LMAOOOOO 😂 I’m so happy for you though! Did she reach out ? What happened Tell us more lol
@@SneakersDanceLife in a way, my mother thought something happened to me and reached out to her. My ex ended up calling my phone like crazy thinking something happened to me. Long story, they really need time away to see what it’s like to be without you. Pretty much every day she was thinking about the thinks we use to do.
@@Oxfordstudios thanks for your quick response. Currently going through it rn lol but the roles are reversed (I’m a girl). I Did the most for a few months but we have a kid together. I’m finally quiet now tho lol. Hopefully things work out 💓
I spent the first month reaching out to him every couple days. Doing the whole "good reminder" texts and the "what about when you said" texts. I've done 3 weeks no contact and its still hard. I have good days and bad days. My feelings and what I want for myseld changes almost hourly. Im doing better than I was at first. I'll come back in 2 months to update:)
It's hard when it feels unfinished. His last text was 6 weeks ago when he wrote we ca ln talk after his work trip. I replied sure, no pressure.
Never heard from him again.
The past week my heartache was gone but for some reason today I keep seeing his face in my mind and my heart hurts bc it felt special and positive but ...the connection outside dates was low and distant. I told him we are not compatible.
I know I did my best and i felt mistreated partially so I told him. The result is him telling me it's bad timing and he is emptionally unavailable.
I thought I was over it but I'm feeling sad about it.
I tell myself he lost me too as a person. I was sweet to him.
I just expressed my boundaries bc he ignored me for days in between dates.
So confusing bc the last time we met he held my hand as we were just sitting besides eachother.
I feel I don't want to date anymore bc I would compare with him :(
@@peaceofmindofpeace1650that's sad, I can feel this way
@@peaceofmindofpeace1650damn
Same here
What happened?
He's an avoidant and also emotionally unavailable. He says he loves me and misses me but doesn't think we are meant to be. He said I can find a better man
When meeting a new person dating, always ask them how long it's been since last relationship. Make your choice carefully if you want to get involved.... or prepare for heartbreak
That’s a smart thing to do cause you definitely will be in for a surprise lol.. But then again in this video I think or in another of a no contact video he mentioned people will still think about there ex 1-3 years later. I believe it all depends on the person. I’ve heard people move on from 10-20 year relationship in months and be married and having kids and what not. And I’ve heard some story’s like the coaches mentioned still be hunged out on there ex after 1-3 years or maybe longer. Everyone is different and every persons mind is different. I’ve always said imagine we all had the same mind and same thoughts and same ways and same personalities etc. we will not be our own person well all be dam clones of each other or dam robots lol..
This is what happened to me i dated a girl for almost 1 month and after having our first kiss and our first sex she told me next night that she wanted to go back to her ex because she missed him
I think no contact should be used to work on yourself; it should not be used in hopes that the person who dumped you comes back. If they did not appreciate and love you when they had that relationship with you, what makes you think that if they come back things will be different. I would not trust them. We need someone who knows what he or she wants and is willing to work for it, not leave everything when things get difficult.
I had an ex who came back after 2 years of no contact.. and he has been married for 8 months but he told that he is not happy with his wife and they almost divorced. But for some reason I no longer want anything to do with him. Even though I don’t have a boyfriend, my feelings for him no longer exist.
Being free from those emotions is liberating
@@Janeintheok yes I'm finally in the "letting go" process. At first I fought it, than felt it, than prayed about it and am moving on somehow. I'm laughing again.
I went thorugh the most painful breakup, and after a year he came back. He drove all the way to see me, but he still said he only wants to be friends with benefits. Now that I have met someone new, he started texting again, but I am already falling for the new guy
Good for you. You deserve better
Happy for you! Keep going to the right path!❤❤❤
It starts working soon as you stop giving a shit and make yourself busy like hell
Why would you want someone back who has dumped you and treated you like shit? Move on people, love yourself and forget those assholes!
i wont take them back i just want to see their regret
it doesn‘t always end like that! 😅 sometimes its mutual. My ex never treated me like shit, we kinda grow apart after 5 years. but he came back after NC and we are stronger and happier❤
Please do some research on avoidant personality disorder. It’s not their fault that they do this they need help and they can be helped being so dismissive immature. Get educated.
Someone dumping you doesn't make them a bad person and it doesn't mean they treated you like shit
Trying lol 😂 not easy
No contact makes sense. It will hurt. However, it's overall better for two individuals. If your ex don't return, it's better. Stay the course. No contact is the way.
It's not about them returning, it's about them being out of your life for all the pain and disrespect they caused you. Be absent from their life
I’ve been in no contact 6 years; I think it’s working!
he was stupid to let u go u funny af
teheh
This is the best video on when will they come back. I believe it takes at least 6 to 8 weeks to even notice you left. In that amount of time you better accept the truth move on and start improving your life. It sucks but I am doing it. You reach a point where you realize your worth, and I don't think about them coming back. If they do, go from there.
The observer effect in Quantum Physics! - when you look away, the situation changes
Hardest part of a break up is containing yourself to not reach out, will just do no good
With time I have come to respect my ex's decision and working on self-improvement
Some people do care, but as much as you have pride and may not wanna reach out (NC) they may be doing the same thing, continuously waiting on that person to text. It also may depend on how the relationship was and how it ended + plus who was the culprit to cause the end of the relationship plays a huge part. You have to use this time to heal, work on your self and change. Allow them to heal as well and mend old wounds. If they change look at it as if it’s for the better. They may end up back with reaching out and be willing to work things out or they won’t. Reguarless stay focus, accept responsibility (if you were the reason) and be better form of your self.
Thank you coach.
that feeling when you think of them or even cry and think „pretty sure they can feel that I‘m suffering right now and it’s bad for no contact“. you really have to let go. quantum physics, law of attraction…
Um..suppressing and ignoring or invalidating your emotions is not the way to go about life
What's really crazy is I listened to the video "why your ex doesn't come back when they know you're waiting" this morning TWICE because it resonated with me so hard and now this video basically expands on the same concept!
It's okay, we make mistakes...especially right after the breakup. I think Craig posted a video that describes how the ex's wont hold that insecure behavior against us in the long run.
@@andrewdehart6191 it's more of a mindset thing than a mistake thing
@@aeb1492 what do you mean with the mindset thing... ?
@@JamieZarrr so I've come to accept the mistakes I made during the break up thanks to all of Craig's videos and the creative healing course and workbooks. I'm doing a whole lot better now but there are still times when I start feeling down about everything. So to assuage that I'll seek out certain topics he talks about that resonate with me to sort of reassure me that I'm on the right path, doing the right thing.
@@aeb1492how u doing now bro
I am going to be honest. Most of the time, exes don't come back, especially if you were dumped and they are showing indifference towards you. No contact is a Good thing to gain your power back and show your ex that you respect his/her decision. My ex told me that he will never fall in love with me and i was sad as hell but there is nothing I can do about it. I just hope that my heart will heal.
Craig has a good content by the way.
Good Luck to everyone (and sorry for the mistakes, I am french)
When did your ex break up with you?
@@JamieZarrr about two weeks ago
@@NiniLaFrench that's very, VERY recent. You don't know if he's coming back. It doesn't matter if he told you he will never love you. Of course he said that, that's what he is feeling now... but in the future? Maybe he will, maybe he won't. No-one knows. Not even him.
You say "most exes don't come back". True, so what? According to studies cited by Coach Craig and Margaret, 1/3 of exes come back. 1/3 is less than half of them... but it is not a small percentage, either! It means 33% of exes come back. If there's a 33% likelihood of a dog biting me, I would be scared.
P.S. the part in which you say "....especially if you were dumped and they're showing indifference towards you" makes no sense, if you think about it. When we talk about whether exes come back or not, we always talk about the dumpers, because they're the only ones who can come back. If you're the one who's been dumped, you can't come back, because you never left! It was them who wanted the break up! And regarding the indifference... don't trust that as a sign of anything. They may want you think they're indifferent, or they may feel indifferent... for the moment. When someone breaks up, it's because at this moment they're feeling indifference by definition, unless they break up due to circumstances outside the relationship (family situation, living apart, etc).
@@JamieZarrr Thank you for answering. In mys case, my ex was very calm when he said that. It was not out of anger and He repetead this and also said that He could not return what I gave him.
Were come from very different worlds. He has some alcohol and drug issues just like ALL his friends and almost all His exes. I guess that as I have nothing to do with this (wich is a good thing) He couldn't fall in love with me. I might seem "boring" in comparison.
He called me yesterday, to talk but there was nothing special.
@@NiniLaFrench Yes, I know from experience that when an ex says something in a calm way, that makes it look like they really mean it. But again, they do mean it NOW. Good thing you don't do drugs. Then he leaving you might be the best thing that ever happened to you. Nonetheless, we still don't know if he'll be interested in you again. Don't trust his words, trust his actions. The fact that you don't do drugs is not something that can prevent people from falling in love with you. Maybe it should be something that should make YOU think that you don't want to be in a relationship with him. Time will tell. In the meantime, enjoy your life with healthier people.
After 5 months NC and nothing. Im convinced they only come back if they love you
Good video, and like you said it’s about you. I wish more no contact folks emphasized the personal healing and development aspect, instead of ONLY the “I’ll show her” which is an antagonistic, disempowering frame. One’s personal growth and healing either way is just as if not more important than “showing our ex”.
I wish I’d found these videos three months ago but so glad I found them now! He cheated-I offered forgiveness, he didn’t want it. I only begged once, only did the “what about when you promised..” once. Ran into him in person after one month and asked if we could talk about things. He put me off. I went nc then and two months later am finally feeling alive again. It truly felt like I was shattered and dying. Now it’s a dull ache and I’m doing the things he and I planned to do but never got around to doing. I don’t think he’ll ever come back but after three years with me at least I know he’ll never forget me.
My partner of 19 years left me 5 months ago, I did everything I could to get him back, I was crying every day, thought my life was pointless without him. Started watching these non contact videos, spent time with friends, started actually analysing the relationship. He has blown hot and cold during the 5 months, telling me he loves me and then disappearing for days n days. Anyway I started no contact 10 days ago, started feeling much better in my self, stopped crying, took a little break. He called me yesterday, telling me he missed me so much, I was the only woman he ever loved and just wanted more time with me....let's see what happens from here on. He does seem to be feeling my loss. More importantly I'm not feeling that despair and desperation that I was feeling before. I feel I'll be fine with him or without him.
I am very happy for you. My husband left 2 weeks ago after 8 years together (6 years of marriage) and I’m feeling like you were feeling, like my life is pointless without him :( can’t wait to heal or for him to realize he wants to come back to me.
@marisolsuarezgarzon363 hi, it will be ok, you will be ok. Since I wrote that comment he has left and come back several times. I finally had enough and stopped talking, replying to his messages. He is now begging me to take him back but I'm just not feeling it any more. Went to meet him after him messaging several times. He commented on how good i looked. He on the other hand looked broken. Not sure if I want to give him another chance, think I may just be done with it.
True...don't waste time waiting for them to contact you. They made a choice to leave you. They moved on. Hurts but true. Let go...let go and don't look back and never call them when you are drunk
Hello Sir, she broke NO CONTACT at 24 days.. she was very flirtatious and playful.. just gonna take it day by day .. I’ll keep you posted …
You are right Sir.. people can sense energy.. thank you for this video
I found your channel a week ago, and I can tell everyone who sees my comment that your channel made me feel way better. I just needed to hear those things and this advice. I got the strength 💪🏻 and motivation to stay away from ex and not reach out to her. My ex has now unblocked me on WhatsApp, but I'm not saying anything. I won't say anything until she reaches out first. Thank you, Craig ! 😊 🙏
Focus on yourself dude. You'll be in a better mindset. I'm 2 weeks behind you. Same situation. Exercise, hang out with friends, and do your thing. You got this.
@@chipprovost8345 Thanks brother 👊🏻🫶🏻
This guy knows his stuff...brilliant
I don't want him back
I just want him to feel my absence out of his life forever.
Ok so here’s my situation. I met a girl about a year and a half ago. She has 2 kids and I knew this from the start. The night we met was the best night of my life, and so was the next year and 4 months together. We did everything together, literally spent every day together, like twins and everyone we met said we were perfect for each other. I was supposed to leave for a job abroad a few before I met her, but love for me and I stayed in England to be with her. Being with someone with kids is soo difficult, and it really was a struggle and I put so much effort into it all. I ended up living with her sort of, well I had my own flat but would spend every day at hers. Even though the kids weren’t mine we really felt like a little family.
Anyway like 6 weeks ago someone at a BBQ asked if we would have our own one day, she blurted out no which was quite a shock because she always said she did…I reacted the wrong way out of pure shock and insinuated that’s something we could break up over. I honestly didn’t mean it in retrospect, I value an amazing relationship over having one just to have kids.
Anyway since that moment she started acting very off, would barely hug me or talk to me like we used to just a few days before. We had a big chat about it and I said I’m not that bothered about kids, but she said how would she know I wouldn’t change my mind in the future.
Since then she was just a different person, and I acted off in response to that to try and show her how I didn’t like how she was being…which I regret so fucking much because I would do anything just to go back in time and level with her and say I just want you and we can work through this.
We went out for drinks with friends 2 weeks ago and she broke up with me on the spot. I went to my mums and she didn’t speak to me for days, only one message to say it was definitely done and there’s no hope ever in the future. We had a phone call a few days after and she just said the same thing and that I should pick me stuff up from her mums.
I’ve had the worst 2-3 weeks of my life, literally hell on earth missing her and trying to accept everything. She seems absolutely fine, like she’s going out and having a good time like I never existed.
It’s just so strange because I can’t express how close we were and the moments we shared together; that’s so hard to find in life. I’m s very sentimental person and it’s killing me soul thinking about how she can just delete me just like that. She said we had some “good” memories which hurt more than I can say, because I know how special they were to her too at the time. It’s like the last month before we broke up over rid all the amazing times we had before that.
After the phone can I messaged her once just to say I never ever meant to hurt her and that I just miss her company. It’s been like 10 days of no contact now. I’m going to Italy in a few days to stay with a friend for 3 weeks because it’s too painful being around here everything reminds me of her right now.
I’m going to stick to the no contact but at the same time I don’t want to not regret trying one more time…I’m in such a mess guys.
Women always move on faster then men but then crash most of the time just as you get over them. This modern age has women acting foolish but their pride won't allow them to be accountable for their actions and society in the west reinforces it.
You will be ok.
SEE YOU IN ITALY MY FUTURE.... 🎉🎉
So sweet
How you doing?
This was 1000% on point! They know when you don't care TRUST ME! My ex is in my house right now after a year of staying with her mom after a separation that forced me to kick her out. I begged back then and whatnot she treated me like garbage and then I just slowly said fuck it and started seeing someone else and completely forgot about my ex and BOOM there she is but it's too late I no longer have those feelings like I did
2 months no contact. Just focusing on myself now, school, gym, meditation and some other things. she’ll come back when she wants to.😌
I definitely got to the anxiety separation and desire part . Shit so pain making go insane.
For the person going through it skeptical of all this. I’m going to come back in 3 months and let you know how it goes. My girl and I split. Didn’t speak for a weak and I just broke no contact yesterday because I saw something I didn’t like, that I took the wrong way. Back in no contact. I’ll update you on what happens in 3 months
@@joemarz2264 might just pull ur girl next
You got this
@luisvalera2753 hey any updates?
@@mansikaushikvid she just watched my IG stories off fake accounts. Slowly getting over her lol
@@luisvalera2753how do you know it was her?
He stayed out all night, told him I’m done, stay there don’t come back.
It’s been 2 months, I’m silent, he is silent, and learning a lot about narcs.
How is our behavior suppose to be with one drama, after another.
Started learning about narcs, definitely working on myself.🙏❤️👍completely unacceptable when your married, karate time🤣
The healing is painful , but the outcome is very good.
I lost my father about a month ago. My girlfriend was so good and was there for me. I guess she postponed breaking up with me, because yesterday she broke up with me. She said she feels we have to work too hard to make this work. I do not agree, yes compromises were needed, but we love each other to death. She still says shes never loved someone like she loves me, but because shes very family oriented and doesnt see me in the ideal picture as the father of her children she put a stop to it. I'm ashamed to say this hurts more than the passing of my father..
i feel you brother, it she actually loved you she will come back if your are right twogether
I also did the no contact with my ex. Only to find out she moved on and it was a time for her to find somebody else. But it also gave me time for me to move on.
I didn't want to ignore him because I truly do love him with all my heart
It's necessary for your dignity as a woman and respect. I didn't wanna ignore either it was terrible BUT U have 2.
I just started today. Hurts like hell but I do think is best to ignore them for a while. Make them miss U even if they don't come back. It will help us heal.
Craig, thanks for reading my comment and for posting it to Instagram. ❤ He is in general blown away by the confidence I have now and by my ability to hold my standards. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your content. I've found it very early in the breakup and made no mistakes. 🙂❤
P.S. To everyone who thinks your ex will forget you - after 2,5 years he remembers EVERYTHING.
I'm so happy having my partner back after being separated for months.All thank to dr frank who help me to get back with my ex again,he has helped numerous number of people I will suggest you to get help from him
Whatsaaphim
Imagine that, you and your ex are watching the same video, both expecting the other to reach out 🤔
Yeah, but one of them dumped the other. He/Se who broke the thing - must repair it.
@Alex Force You are right about that, and this is the good point, that also should be acknowledged by both sides
Hi Craig! My name is Manjunath from Bangalore India. I have been watching your videos for 2 hours and whatever you said was absolutely right. Thanks brother
I did the No contact thing. Not to get my ex back. I actually wrote to him after he brokke off (since we had some practocal stuff done) i wrote to him, "thankyou for being the one stopping our relationship. I couldnt do it myself"
Obviously it was not meant to be. And I will not ever go back, Even if he might come back to me when and if he regrets. We have a history, and us meeting was a part of my journey of life. I believe we meet people in life for a reason. I have learned alot about myself. Thankyou 🙏
I had to dump my DM because no effort and his pulling away however he came back and offered marriage ,I then had an epiphany he didn't do the work and felt I was a option.I Love him and want him to put in the effort ! If he changes and opens up I will say yes of course!
A couple of weeks ago I met a girl who I instantly felt a deep connection with (which is extremely rare for me). We spent all evening and all night talking about all kinds of stuff, a couple of days later she invited me over to have dinner, play a game and watch a movie and we planned to spend new years eve together, going to a party together. The evening before new years eve we texted about the drinks we were going to bring and we both said we were looking forward to it. After that she went to a friend of hers. She ended up cancelling our date and she told me the reason was her friend was going through some though times and she didn´t want her to spend new years eve alone. A totally reasonable excuse of course, but even though she told me she felt bad about not being able to go I still was very disappointed.
I spent all night wondering if I did or said anything wrong and if I blew my chances somehow. I felt very insecure and ended up texting her that the next time she and I decided to hang out it would have to be a proper date. She responded the next morning that she wasn´t mentally ready to have a date at the moment, because she broke up with her boyfriend less than a month before that, but things could change over time. I told her I didn't want to be just a friend and I wasn't planning to see her until she was ready for a date as I didn't want things to end in heartbreak. She understood and she thanked me for being honest with her. I added that I wasn't going to be the person to initiate contact again as I couldn't know if the situation somehow changed, which she said she totally understood.
Since then I barely had any contact with her as I realized and knew from experience that forcing things was just going to drive her away. I watched some videos online about how to deal with break-ups even though we never had a proper relationship and in fact we just had a great time for a couple of days. I felt terrible for 2 days, but quickly started focussing on and working on myself. I am 100% convinced she also felt a connection with me, but she is just working out her feelings about everyone and everything. Now we are 1 week further in time and even though I really want to contact her and ask her how she is doing I am just going to continue focussing as much as possible on bettering myself. I decided to give her the time she needs and in doing so respect her wishes.
I really hope though the advice given in this video also applies to me and her even though it is meant for people who just broke up and not for people who just have a connection. I want to get over her as soon as possible in case she doesn't contact me again, but I obviously hope she will contact me and when she does I am a better man. I am not certain things will work out the way I want it, but I promised myself I will not contact her for a couple of weeks and intend to keep that promise (she will go on a trip at the end of the month and I might wish her a good time or ask her how her trip went by then, but I might go absolutely 0 contact. Still working out what the best thing to do is.)
If I remember this message I will come back in a few weeks to let you know how things went. I hope things went well so I can share my experiences with other people fearing to lose a connection and inspire them to do the same thing. I have to be honest though, I never felt how I feel now; both insecure and convinced I am doing the right thing simultaneously. I hope you guys can send me some positive energy in the meantime and wish me luck.
Has she initiated contact with you since?
Dude. Don't write so long. Also, her "friend" she canceled your plans with was obviously her ex. They got back together. Move on foo
Buddy. Men and women. Cannot be friends. The whole premise is wrong... try again soon and good luck!
I experienced the same thing. This guy and I had a real connection we spent a lot of time in his apartment talking . Then we did the deed and something about it shifted his interest in me . Told me that we should just be friends eventhough he was the one pursuing me vehemently in the beginning. By this time I had fallen for him and it hurts so bad that he lost interest because he thought we were incompatible because of the sex.
She broke no contact at 24 days ..lol
She was flirtatious and playful..definitely glad I didn’t break no contact
Sometimes I wish I could triple-like these videos. Just brilliant, thank you Craig
If someone cheats and dump you for another girl it's NC forever.. even if he begs to take you back after 6mo. Don't make that mistake again.. they never change just move on and be the best version of yourself. Selflove can raise higher standards..
Noted.
@@jasminsaturnino8017 don’t listen to her
I messed up and what makes it even worse, I knew better. I was broken up with the beginning of November. Listening to my sister, I chased. She told me to do it so I’ll know where I stand with her. Chased for a whole month. When I reached out, my ex obliged, but it was always me reaching out. It wasn’t mutual. I was checking social media and all. When I realized what I was doing about a week ago, I stopped everything. Texting, calling, I even deleted social media apps and started focusing on me. I must say I instantly felt the confidence in me growing. I still had my moments where I was feeling down, but I’ve been doing gods so far. Is it too late for NC to work?🤷🏾♂️
No, it's not...I did ALLLL the wrong things in the beginning (March). Now things are starting to turn around
No to be rude but it doesn't sound like you knew better. You will know better next time. It happens to all of us so don't worry. Best thing you can do now is NC and walk away. Focus on yourself, get a harmonica and learn to play it. Go to the gym if you need to. Stay active and invest in yourself now and always. That is what is key. I'm going through it now myself and I was dumped, I walked away, 3 1/2 months later I started my LLC. Learning guitar, working full time, not dating, not posting. Stay focused and you will feel better.
In my opinion no contact is really for you, giving a chance to ground yourself and focus on yourself.
Please for your own health sake, if you end a relationship with a narc, never ever wish to take them back.
And if they ended it , celebrate your freedom and move on.
You can than me later
while you are focused on them that they will come back, so they are focused on that they will not come back, and as you forget about them, they start to remember you, the parallel goes in the opposite direction, and if they loved you, they will come back.
somtimes, they come back only bcz they couldn't replace you (no one wanted them)
I broke up with my bf after 1 year of relationship. I realised in one of the conversation that he doesn’t know what he want for future and no plans to include me there. He wasn’t able to be committed. After 1 week of crying after breakup I reached out to him. I missed him and told him I was emotional and maybe expressed my feelings and expectations too aggressively. He accused me of breaking his heart and to dump him. I apologised hoping we can fix things. But it didn’t work. He was mad at me. I texted the next day but he ignored my text. Maybe he never loved me otherwise he would take my apology. If he really didn’t have any future plans with me then I’m thinking him not taking my apology is for the best! Unless he realise what he lost later and come back…
When you are Unbothered about the breakup, they can sense it.
Makes them wonder. (How can they possibly live without ME? I'm the prize and a desirable catch)
I came across this video within a week of our breakup, after we'd exchanged a couple of emails back and forth. I wish I hadn't. 😂I might not be able to make things work without getting in touch again in the future, but I'm learning alot.
Excellent! 🎉 I put the focus on myself and became obsessed with it, loving it! Then I heard from the one I love…❤…😊
I initiated NC because i felt his feelings had changed and he was being disrespectfulto me. I gave him every opportunity to talk it out but he just kept contacting me to keep his toe dipped in and asking for favours. That hurt more. So i went NC cause everytime we spoke it played with my heartstrings. I sent a nice message telling him its hard to move on from someone you cared for so NC is best. Im just gutted they didnt fight for me. I will never reach out
Its his move. I will try to get on with my life
What if I started no contact after begging and pleading and regulating myself to the friend one up until the 4 month mark. I’ve been doing no contact almost two months (didn’t know about it until then). Is there still hope for me?
Wait Everything Will get Back to normal
This is crazy. If someone goes no contact then leave them alone because you aren't a stalker- not to woo them.
After getting betrayed and with kids , it gets complicated
This is very helpful and comforting. Thank you so much!
Hi coach Craig, thank you for this video. Me and my 4yr LDR partner broke up 2 weeks ago, he didn't contact me since new year due to a big fight through chat (that's 4weeks earlier). My reason y I broke up with him (which is 2weeks ago )because I felt that he prioritize his friends and co worker over me. For brief background. His family and friends got his update when he will visit here from his work where I got the last update (few hours update instead of 1-2 days ahead compared to his family and friends. My schedule on work didn't jive with his visiting because I haven't give heads up on my work on his visit. Only see him dinner time and few minutes only before he leaves, this cycle was going on since November (2months), he says he loves me, our intimacy got colder and colder , since then I felt we are not connected anymore. And also have no sex since then. Due to that disapointment I buried my self over working over time.
The day came when I reach my limit. It was few hrs before new years eve, I am aware he is not allowed to go home because he will have is duty on first day of January but he managed to visit his family, I was not updated again about this. He message me 2hrs before he arrived saying he will find a way to go home, knowing that his location is a 4-5 hrs drive. So I though he was driving way back, I got surprised that he told me that he is already there at his mom's house ,but I can't rush to visit him because I already got to our home with my family which is 1hr drive from their home and everybody in my home was expecting me to stay. My issue in what he did was he informed all his friends in work who will go with him which is 5-6hrs earlier, where he didn't informed me. I got mad and I informed him my concern, his response was surprisingly far from the issue I addressed. His immediate response was "why all you can see is the wrong things my family did" I didn't mention anything about his family during that time. I felt he is being defensive on his friends. He even told me I am the reason why he have an anxiety and panic attack when ever I message him. And he cut our communication totally since then.. Knowing myself ,I already have anxiety and panic attack and his (self diagnosed) metal issue gave me more burdens. Worse is I got depression because of that too, got only 5-15mins of sleep a day, no appetite and swinging from over thinking to total silence of depression,crying non stop. It was 11 days straight, I got tired of my mental health and too tired for my body, that's why I decided to broke up with him. Again it was 11 days he didn't spoke with me but when I msg him I about the break up within just 4 mins he agreed on my break up with him. And he even thank me. Reality hits me hard during that moment. Can't believe he agreed for just 4mins.
My concern now here coach is, I am now unsure if what I did was right, and did I say something wrong? Is it my fault? Do you have video related to my situation, about accusing me in his mental health or partners being neglected because of his friends.
Now I am working on myself, I found your channel being very informative and helpful for me. One at a time I know I will move on from what happened. I don't know what will happen d next but on your teachings, I know I should stay away from my ex while I am healing.
I'm hurting. My ex and his 2 kids moved out. He's like a whole different person. He's cocky, distant and doesn't even look at me the same.
How's things now
I think life is getting more real day by day and they are not coming back ever. We might talk over a chat or call but they will never take the decision to live together because they decided to go back to their spouse. It hurts like hell. I am struggling to be okay with that. Stuck between wanting them back to okay with not having them. Life is good lately.
No contact works on all humanity my ex contacted me 3 years later just recently on April 7th 2023 begging and pleading to get back with me but unfortunately I moved on with someone else
Love you Craig. Helping so much.
I met the most perfect woman for me in my whole life, I’m 38, she’s 39. only issue, she’s long distance. We formed a really deep connection, visited each other, had the most amazing time. She told me she’s never felt more at peace or able to relinquish control in her entire life. Just this past week she said a local guy expressed feelings for her and she’s going to pursue that because long distance would never work for her. She obviously withheld that information from me which hurt deeply and basically did a 180 overnight because of this other dude. We shared the same values but she couldn’t follow through on the one topic that mattered the most. It hurt, it still hurts, she was afraid of losing the connection we have but I told her we can’t be friends because even friends deserve better transparency and I do feel led on. Her friends there told me if I was local, it wouldn’t even be a question. Seems like she is one step below mature enough to realize all this. Should I do everything in my power to fight for her? Currently I’m in no contact. She’s left the door open for me to contact her in the future. I’m very torn here. I haven’t really been able to find videos with my situation.
Hi! I've been watching your channel for quite some time, may I ask what you should do if he / she contacted you just because he/she is asking their things back? Should you respond right away? What are you supposed to reply if you answered Yes?
My issue is that my ex after two great dates, unfriended me from FB, no rhyme or reason... no explanation given, 36 hours after the last date. I'm fine with it being over, if it truly is, but at the very least, the ex can offer me an explanation. I would have had more empathy if he would have just communicated whatever the issue was... it would have given me more clarity to move forward. I tried to stir up the conversation for a little bit of time, for clarification, and nothing... outside of a Happy Birthday, he's not contacted me for close to a month at this point. I'm working on myself, but I need the explanation for his ghosting- regardless of the no contact/ghosting.
He might be in a rebound relationship with you or simply cheated on his partner and now he is done with you.
My ex ended it because she has BPD and there's just no way to break the cycle that comes with that kind of a thing. I gave it my best shot, entered no contact, and that was that. I expect *nothing* out of this no contact, except my own health and growth. I started therapy, started going back to my hobbies, and so on. I'm stuck in the crappy emotional state that I would love for her to come back, but I know it's not best for either of us, so even if it happens... it's diggity done-zo.
EDIT: I guess she didn't *technically* end it. But she was never going to say the words outright, so I did. Not that it matters, but just a detail to broaden the picture.
Hoping this really works… I thought I found the girl of my dreams as we started dating and connecting on a deeper level for about three weeks… only to have her tell me that she felt our pace was off and she didn’t want to continue… i wished her nothing but the best and haven’t reached out for the past month… I do still think about her and I do miss her.
How did this work out ??
Craig, I have been separated from my wife for two years and each time we go into no contact we start working on getting back together and then she wants out again! Now we are divorcing. Now every time we talk she angry towards me. So, I gone no contact and I am staying there until she calls me and like you said, wants to work on us. I am working on myself every day, not for her, but for me. I would like to get another opportunity with her. We have been together 27 years, and I am still in love with her, but I have to move on.
Be ause the other guys are doing no contact also....funny.
I’m in a weird place. After 4 months of NC, he came back saying he was thinking about me. I was polite in my response and told him I have no hard feelings. He said I helped him a lot with his confidence. And this was last week and now it’s silent again. I have no idea, so confusing. But this time, I’m not initiating like i used to before the NC
Stay NC and let him do the work
Haven't talked to my ex in 3 months pretty much and i feel like ahe wont reach out
I’m struggling so hard right now, I’m doing my best with no contact. It’s so unnerving.
Coach, is there still any chance of my dumper reaching out? My dumper did not reach out for Christmas or New Years. I’ve also noticed that even though we still follow each other, she will not look at my Instagram stories when I post them. Does this mean all hope is lost? Going on 49 days of NC now, and the pain is unbearable
Did she say why she dumped you? I just dumped someone who said he didn't know what he wanted from the relationship. He's 64 and divorced for over 20 years. I got tired of his mind games. No aspersions cast upon you. I'm so sorry for your pain.
Even before I knew of no contact it used to work, what other choice did I have? It worked with multiple women multiple times, they’d come back after months and one even after two years, but fully hearted!!
I’ve been watching a lot of these kind of videos and they give me hope but I’m starting to wonder if hope is a bad thing. I’m over 2 weeks no contact and it is hell. As much as I want her back I just want the pain to go away
Im in the Same boat as you Brother
How do I respond if we are 4 months pregnant and are not talking?
A most dismissive, too proud, arrogant ex who I was sure was the last man on earth who would ever contact me… texted me a year later! And he sent me a taxi bill from another country! If he can come back then anyone can. Only thing is I didn’t want to get into a relationship with him anymore as he had really shown lot of disrespect previously. So I asked him to move on! How tables reversed. At one point I was so crazy about him. And now despite being single I bid him bye. But ya, anyone can come back.
It seems that all of these kinds of breakups happen because the dumper is dismissive avoidant. They truly are the worst people at heart and absolutely broken in ways that we can't understand. Unfortunately they exist amd we are all powerless in changing them or the fact that they won't change themselves
In your example, why would I wait years for the other person to come back. Time to move on and find a new love.
How do you implement no contact with someone you work with?
Great video!
Never. They don't care. Only we do.
Thank 😊 🙏 you coach Craig. Your advice entails maturity 👌 👏, wisdom, biblical teaching even without mentioning the word 'God.' Each time I miss 😢 him, I run to Jesus and the wise 🙏 people can puts in my path and that is coach Craig!!!
Let Go and let God deal with him!
🤚🏻 Hi :) Its me, the dumper here!! This video so randomly popped up on in my algorithm!! I think this is sort of a sick game really. One person dumps and then there is a sort of psychology that pulls in to this unwanted rhythm right?? Look, when I dumped my ex, it was because I knew whole heartedly that after 8 yrs of the same song and dance that nothing was going to change! That would mean, I could stay but Id be settling...no thanx! Im worth so much more than that! How he feels and what he "thinks" no contact is doing to me, is the absolute opposite. Sure it stings, but there is no looking back for me. People if you truly love someone and you have hope and faith that yall can make it work, then do not play a vicious game of "no contact". Work! Get help! Keep fighting! Nothing is easy in life! Because while you think one person is sitting staring at a phone waiting for a msg, that person is long gone and you're going to sit there alone in all of your feelings alone, waiting for something thats never gonna happen for you!! Open those lines of communication and begin a healing journey together, get help together, fight for it together! ❤
Great reading this being a dumpee after 8 years together with my ex.
I'm 4 months NC and really in a place were I'm moving on. NC works by getting yourself back not them.
Great read from a dumpers perspective and raw format at that.
@@Troy12-fitnessmodel 8 yrs here to friend. I get it!! I think that time alone forces you to move on. Look at ur phone less, start seeing the opposite sex a little differently now, making decisions based on ur single life and not waiting for the "NC" to end. Looking back, what would you have changed?? I wouldve changed EVERYTHING! I wouldnt have relied in silly psychology warfare like nc and leave his msg on read because it makes him feel a certain way, or wait a whole 2 hrs and 12 min before answering his txt msg and he will love you more.....its all disgusting. Life is real! Its not a game. We should never want to make our partners feel left out or alone or sad because they miss you but we are following the "dont answer to quick rule" this week. 🙄 We couldve worked. We could've gotten help. We could've grown up. Now there are no more chances. As I am not willing to regress now. But thank you for sharing that with me. What would you have changed??
True you cannot force anyone to be with you, walk away, I'm in the no contact rule with a man I fell in love with
What about the scenario never is mentioned in your videos. The dumper conveniently meets someone right after the breakup and starts a rebound relationship during no contact...
What exactly do you mean by no contact “working?” If someone no contacts me, that’s it, I’m done. I don’t think about people who can’t even communicate their needs, or who aren’t emotionally mature enough to tell me how they’re feeling. Going no contact to manipulate someone to come back is childish. Do it for yourself, to heal.
No contact works, it's crazy but true
I needed this video right now 😭🙏