Throw your 20 year old child out of your house!
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- Опубліковано 29 вер 2013
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I lived at home until I was 24. I always showed my parents respect even if it was annoying. I got to get it established in my career and move out with no debt. No regrets.
Anthony Lopez
Don’t ever let anybody shame you for living at home ! Be proud of the fact that you live at home ignore all this western propaganda going on it’s not true !
@@owlknickerknots2607 Especially don't have shame if you're helping out with bills! I intend to pay more in rent to my mother than the benefits she currently gets via taxes and such for having me in her household for free.
Me to also paid rent work around the house
I moved out in my mid 20s too. It was hard and I was embarrassed that I was still living at home.
Im 22 and live with my parents and just stacking money to hopefully buy a house cash👀🤣
My 20 yr old son works two jobs, is enrolled in college and EMT school, he can stay as long as required. We raised him with love and discipline. He will raise his children the same.
@@kylewilliams8519 calm down bigot
@Trinder3467 you're just racist and it hurts you to think about black people being doctors and engineers, because that would mean they are better than you at life..you want to see black people beneath you..its 2019..get over it bigot!
M J Smith my brother has 100k in debt. Mine can’t leave
Trinder3467 which Hollywood shows have you been watching? If anything, since the beginning of modern cinema (more than 100 years ago), its been the exact opposite.
@@kylewilliams8519 it was going so well until he said "white" person
I'm 24, turning 25 soon. My mom is sick. I pay her rent. I appreciate her a lot.
May God bless you for taking care of your mom!
Hope you're both doing great now
Hippie!
Sick parents and schooling will always be the two acceptable excuses for living with parents.
Hope all is well with you and your mom. Love the profile pic by the way lol
If your going to live at home, be nice to your parents. Its free. LOL
Not always lol
Ya you are right.
You're *
And btw, i completely agree.
Showing kindness from the heart, you nailed it. There's no co$t on that!
( :
pamperedgurl not for me I pay rent and sometimes loan my mom money. Living in California it's really expensive I want to move into an RV while in college and save a little but I'll end up hurting my mom more than myself.
Lone Surviver sooner or later you have to move away. Hurting her or not.
Being 20+ years old and living at home is a blessing. You have time and money to do great things that a lot of other people don't have. Invest your time, and invest your money and be great. At the very least be appreciative.
SirButtah exactly, my little brother lives at home and he has 3 jobs saving up to go to college.
What money.........
No transportation. ..........
SirButtah so who’s paying your bills while your investing and being great? At some point you need to be independent. Let your parents live.
20+ year olds are wrong for not moving out, and parents are wrong for not kicking them out. It’s not about saving money, it’s about having self respect.
"No body talks to Sharon Ramsey that way ." BRAVO!! You are my hero. What a lucky woman your wife is.
But I also bet that Sharon Ramsey would speak up for herself too. Nice he speaks up for her but from what he says I am pretty sure he would never have to because she would have taken care of them already, lol. 😂
Walk on eggshells to not set her off⁉️⁉️⁉️ These people lost their minds , she can go be verbally abusive on the street or in a shelter ‼️‼️ after I beat her down ‼️‼️
Ha right! Im not walking on eggshells in my own dam house! Not happening, ever!
😂😂😂 right!!!
jennifer48ist PREACH!!!!!!
Get in your cage animal (talking about you because I know you're too stupid to realize)
My 25 year old was doing the same to me, I gave him 12 hours to leave! He was being verbally and physically abusive. This was 10 weeks ago and our house feels so much better without him. I’ve not seen him since, I know he will mature one day and we will sort things out. But never will he live here again. I know he is settled somewhere and he is working and supporting himself. I love him but I did not like his behaviour!
Ailsa Washington “I love you but i chose to kick you out of the house without any money, food or shelter. Its not like you will barely be able to feed yourself, freeze to death and potentially get killed in the streets but you know son i love you!”
King Nevermore did you not read my comment! He is working full time and found somewhere straight away. He was punching my other son his brother who is autistic! The police were called by one of our neighbours! So that okay is it? We put up with his behaviour far too long!
Ailsa Washington Fair enough then.
👏
Yess I can understand I’m still waiting to get rid of my teens until they actually turn 18. I go through hell everyday with them. 😩
My 19 year old decided not to go to college. He's living in our house rent free. He gives us $200 a month for his phone and car insurance. He has no other bills and the deal is he can stay and live here rent free as long as he saves half of his wages. He's very respectful to us, and we are more than happy to have him at home, and save his money.
Does he work
@@Obito_17-52 it was stated that as long as he saves half of his wages, so I'm guessing yes
@@Obito_17-52 your worthless without work, people build their whole identity around it./.
@@frankmundo4300 very true
Kick his butt out, ," An easy life does not teach anything "
The mom spoiled her daughter and made her that way. The step father if he tried to discipline the child the mother probably stopped it. Dating single mothers this is the most common scenario.
Finally!! Im not the only person with enough sense to realise and acknowledge this!!!
I saw things the same way. Single moms usually protect their kids from any parenting from step father.
facts! and those kids will love the deadbeat dad no matter what while treating stepdad like a non factor...
Agreed single moms are the worst
I agree, never, ever get involved with single mothers.
One things I have learned in life: you teach people how to treat you. I will never put the entirety of the blame on this woman, but somewhere through the upbringing, this child learned that her behavior was acceptable. Parent working on eggshells because a child, who pays ZERO bills in the house is upset? I do not agree with it, and this woman should heed Dave's advice.
Dave's not only a financial advisor but a family therapist too lol. God bless him!
jalarise84 you don't need therapy to figure this out!!! Lol lucky him, there are lousy deranged adults around.
jalarise84 no he's really not a family therapist.
I was thinking the same 😬 we should get a David Ramsay here in Australia God we need one ..
He does need to be careful about drawing the line. Don't give relationship advice if you're not a licensed counselor.
@Life Bidder x - I’d take his advice over some of these so called “Licensed Counselors”. He gives it from a position of common sense and love. Some of these so called “experts” will encourage you to “negotiate” with these disrespectful, entitled idiots. Here’s the deal from where I stand. I pay the rent and utilities in this joint. You are a guest at MY discretion. You are free to be disrespectful under your own roof that YOU pay for, but it won’t happen under mine!
No Dave just because he was the stepfather for 18 years doesn't mean squat. He was never allowed to discipline this girl which makes her the mom's responsibility! This problem just started, BS!
Yeah that's what I thought.
Weather or not the child is yours, when you get married, any children involved become a joint responsibility, not just the biological parents, if the parent wont let the new spouse be involved in the raising and therefore disciplining of the child, thags a marrige problem and a major red flag that needs addressed before getting married.
You didn't hear what Dave said did you??? He said why is he letting anyone speak to the wife that way?? Had nothing to do with who the daughter was to him
@Charles Yeah I understand now; you're right, if he did defend his Wife... his wife would've thrown him out instead (or in Jail like you said)
I was waiting on this comment. That man can’t do a F’n thing to her daughter. Cause trust she’s already made that clear over the years. So in time he just follows her lead and now their here
Agreed only if the daughter wasn’t abused first. You can’t initiate abuse and then not expect it back. Abuse breeds abuse.
Exactly
No, it doesn't. My sister and I came from an extremely abusive family and we both said the line stops with us. We have never abused our children and have kept them from abusive family relationships and they are well-adjusted happy children. People can change things if they really want to.
3 other children at home who don’t act like that. She’s been allowed to get away with it.
@@benjismith593 😂
Even if she wasnt abused it sounds like this woman catered to her and like she said "walked on eggshells" around her for her whole life. Cant blame your 20 yr old for acting like she is when thats how you raised her for 20 yrs.
I love Dave but he kid gloved this lady. Blamed the kid and the husband, but lets keep it real most of the times moms do most of the raising and she even said the dad was just going with what she said.
Whats the point to spend 20yrs raising an entitled brat and then wake up one day and decide you want them to be a decent human... sorry but it doesnt work that way.
Wow. I lived at home at 20 and showed respect, kept my room, bathroom and kitchen clean. The lawn was always mowed and did basic maintenance on our 4 vehicles. This was on top of a 40 hour a week job, 20+ hours of trade school, girlfriend and party time. Those were the days!
Is 5'8 short?
@@empyao it's not on the short side but not really on the tall side either. I'd say it's in a weird limbo middle gray area
@@empyao 5’9” is technically average for men in the US. But I would also say 5’8” is average. As for women 5’4” is the average.
How did you do it?
Seems more like a family counselor issue not a financial issue.
I swear, why are these calls being allowed on a financial counseling show?
My parents are allowing me to live at home as long as I need to. I'm very grateful for the opportunity and am going to use this time to get ahead as far as I can, and build a very firm and supportive foundation for my future.
Same rules 4 mine, stay, contribute, save towards urs and be grateful!👏💙
Loseli Katoa WHICH IS ???
@@mlkkk2516 something that involves a lot less bitterness that surrounds you it seems...hmm...sh*tting on people in comment section... Must be a super simp who is equipped with the rare and mightiest weopon of all time...a 5 year old lenovo keyboard
I wish my 21 year old would think like you... Your parents are blessed to have a child that respects them. 🙏🏽 ❤
After the age of 18. If they don't want to help out and are just straight up abusive towards you. They need to be kicked out. There is no way to change them through love. They need tough love...to live on the street, or jail.
If that's not his biological daughter I can guarantee that the mom has told him that he's not her dad and can't talk to her about anything. I wonder if he has no autonomy to run the household
I was in similar situations. I also had lot problems when I was living at home. I decided to leave my moms house when I was 19, rented my own place and have a job at a supermarket. Now I’m 21, I have a new job as Account Manager and things goes much better with me.
Hey, I’d like to talk to you. You can give me a tip or two!
Hallelujah!!!! Finally a man who believes in defending the wife. Usually children speak badly to the mother because the husband is doing nothing when they do it. When men have clear boundaries for the children they do not abuse their mothers.
IF SHE IS HOMELESS IT IS BECAUSE SHE PREFERS TO BE RUDE THAN RESPECTFUL TO HER MOTHER, THAT IS ALL THE MOM WAS ASKING FOR FROM THE CHILD.
Gwendolyn Wehage to
Yeah, I'm a single Mom and I am sure if there was a competent father things would be different 😔. Things were wonderful until 18
Ajit Pai , That is b/c u r a smart cookie!!! Good 4 u👍😊
Ajit Pai Maybe u could talk to my daughter lol
weak parent = weak child
Agreed! I was a smart mouth as a kid and I was kicked out of the house...best thing my parents could have done for me
Best thing ?? How ??
I left my dad place when I was 18. I am 25 now and in the military and I am glad I am doing great for myself
Love how Dave starts about standing up for his wife. "No one talks to Sharon Ramsey that way while I'm alive!"
Sounds like a true simp
@@xL0stKIlah sounds like a true man
@@xL0stKIlah so in your mind standing up for your wife is equivalent to giving hundreds of dollars to some girl's fansonly?
He loves his Sharon lol
You can say her daughter is verbally abusive. I remember being a teenager and being abuse by my mom daily. The few times I talked back she would say I was out of control.
And I don’t get this talking about kicking your kid out, you are going to need them one day while you can’t stand up on your own and they would refuse to help for all nightmares you caused to them
@@imabal9183 exactly. My mom was mean but I’ll always be here for her. Because no matter what she did to me she never let me live without shelter or food
Yeah, I never like these callers who don't give any details or examples. If they went a little below the surface, it might turn out that the parent is in the wrong.
I tried that and my mom slapped me in the mouth and I bled. Never did it again.
@@Excalibur2
True there. If a parent models disrespectful, abusive behavior, their son or daughter is likely to abuse and disrespect them.
I tried that ONCE with my mother. I’m lucky I still have my own teeth.
You’re lucky your mother didn’t maim you for disrespecting her? This is what’s wrong with the world
@@marniestewart you didn't get her point, you're dumb
@@marniestewartno, what's wrong with the world is that children aren't taught boundaries from the get go. If you start with a toddler and teach them that there are consequences for certain behavior at that time, then there usually isn't a problem later in life because most parents can then just simply give their kids 'that look' and that's all it takes to remind them of what's appropriate. I see far too many instances of parents today laughing at young kids who are cursing, being disrespectful, etc. because to them, stuff like that coming out of a 2 year old is 'cute', but then these same parents are the ones who end up on Dr. Phil, Dave Ramsey, etc later in life wondering if it's okay to pay off a disrespectful 20 year old as a 'bargain plea' for getting out of their house.....as if they need permission to disallow anyone other than their own minor children to live in a house they've worked and paid for.
My mother would have my hide
@@rodriguezk96 Calling people names to make your hatred more juicy is so weak .
My parents did this to me, the THE BEST thing they ever did for me .
I was a little mole.
But, I left and I stayed gone from the age of 17 (im 28 now) and I learnt to work, I learnt to pay rent or you'll be homeless .
I travelled and worked around my country. It was a great eye opening experience.
But my parents never stopped loving me. They would call and see where I was at, what was I doing. Was I okay.
But they never sent me money (only Xmas card with $50)
They never offered any aid .
Was the best gift the my gave to me.
They gave me my rope and said if you go, don't come back. (To live obviously)
We all still talk and are a family unit.
I bought a house in the same town as them not long ago.
We have dinner regularly .
I ask mums advice on things ect.
I'm California? It's kinda hard over here especially the cost of living
It's good to be independent but why can't they help at all? Are they struggling themselves?
Time to return to Mexico, then, Senyor Lopez.
Kate Sassenach If i was you i would cut them out of my life completely, i would never return calls and i would probably vandalize their tombstones when they die.
King Nevermore same
My son bought his own car & paid the insurance by age 16. Why? Because I wouldn't. At age 17, he grad. with his HS diploma & his AA. He put himself through college. Today, he is 28, his school loans will be paid off in 2 months, and he owns 2 businesses.
I stayed home instead of putting him into daycare thru grade school. We did without and I was criticized for it. I also turned off cable TV. Today he thanks me for it.
I made tough choices that were NOT popular in the 80's. It paid off.
Rebekah Gregory
Consider your self the most lackeys mum on Planet
All the best to
May God Bless your home and your Family 😘
And well don to you fro your hard work
I wish you were my mom
You are a superstar.
Nope,not your merit,if you forced him to start working at 16 then your kinda...,if it was his choice it's his merit
I’m 16 I just bought my own car I work 2 jobs and I’m going to move out at 18 And contribute to society
My 19 year old son did the same. I dropped him off at Trinity Homeless Shelter. This story is spot on our story. He would only speak to her that way when I was at work. He told me he was grown. I took him to live with other grown folks with no jobs.
good job, but you should visit at times
I'd like to know how this has gone for you.
Omg not other grown folks with no jobs 😂 VALUABLE LESSON I hope he got his act together!
@@lisaarata174 Very well. Life is peaceful and happy
Praying my coworker does that to her deadbeat son.
I am a grown man and I still live with my parents because I help take care of them. I cook for them, do laundry for them and I even help my dad organize all the finances. They need me right now and I have no problem being there for them. I love my parents and they love me and my siblings. We are a happy family and I strongly believe there are many other young adults like this. Not every family hates each other and can't wait to throw everyone out. I will be moving out one day and I am well aware my parents won't be here forever but it is what it is right now.
The abusive kid is 20 y.o., you can totally kick her out. She should learn to appreciate that many kids at 18+ have to live on their own already. As long as she is still living under the roof, not paying for anything, she has to follow the rules at home.
Easier said than done, as several times I've had to call the police due to the extreme verbal abuse coming out of my 20 year old daughter. They say there's nothing they can do, I have to go to court and evict her.
+IDislikeCowards I'm only hear because my sister is 27 and she still in my moms house I'm a teenager and my sister is ruining everything originally it's just my dad and my mom and me then my sister comes barging in and she is lazy and is constantly rude to me and my mom and my mom does nothing she doesn't have a job because she's to lazy and my mom treats her like the baby of the house
Go to court, help her to grow up.
+IDislikeCowards: Weird question for someone who chose a UA-cam name like that. How is your behaviour towards your 20 y.o. not cowardice? How in the world did you raise your daughter that badly? And then have her live with you? Where you probably pay at least most of the bills too? Start to dislike your own behaviour enough to be willing to change it. You've got to earn that UA-cam name. Or forever be ashamed of yourself. Stop enabling your brat this second. It is her only chance. Say you love her dearly and will always be there for her, IF she can behave well enough. You are not there to be abused or to be taken abuse of. How can she grow up if you refuse to grow up yourself? Be responsible: change the lock of the door!
axndude first of a 20yr old is not a kid! They are an adult! Once an individual is 18 they are an adult!
live with your parents as long as you possibly can and save save save!
+Gio Bravo This is where that MGTOW ideology comes in handy. Stay at home, save money, and don't ever marry and reproduce.
+adidas_tracksuit how about no
+Tau Errol YA you'd be rollin in the dough.
+Gio Bravo: As long as you pay your grown up part in the household and you know how to respect your parents and abide by their rules, that might be a fine idea. But the way you put it... I doubt you do. Are you of Italian background? For I know many Italian young man struggle to grow up properly, even if they are already 24 or even 30. Oh, I do hope you are not one of those failures to launch.
Thats what I'm doing lol i pay my own car payment, my own credit card bills, my own food clothing etc and my parents let me live with them and they help me by taking care of my car insurance
I got kicked out when I was twenty for generally bad behavior. It definitely gave me a lot of motivation to start moving in the right direction. People that "help" their kids by letting them stay at home indefinitely are just preventing them from becoming adults.
"People that "help" their kids by letting them stay at home indefinitely are just preventing them from becoming adults" How ?? plz explain
@@rickyrocks3277 they get complacent and have no ambition for themselves. And it stunts their maturity emotionally. I saw it happen to my sister.
I’m almost 20 & living at home but its going pretty great so far. Also if i was kicked out I’d have to take on a 2nd job to pay for housing & I’m almost certain my grades would drop a lot ☠️ so I’m mega grateful to my parents & I help out at home as much as I can so we’ve got a great relationship. Srsly hoping living at home doesnt _always_ stunt you emotionally 😅 maybe it just depends on the person?
@@sackettfamily4685 You can be immature in or out of house, ask all the addicts. And you can pull your own weight in or out of house. You'll just have a better margin for savings and the advice of an old person that loves you nearby.
This is facts
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Maybe before I heard advice like this. No thanks, my boys mean more to me than retirement does.
I need to hear both sides of the story
I remember telling my son who disrespect my wife (his Mother). He was age 14 at the time. I said "Never to disrespect his mother again" as I cuffed him up side the head. My wife came at me and told me that if I ever put my hands on him again, she would kill me. He is now 18 and so disrespectful towards her that she comes to me and tells me I need to do something about it or she is going to kill him. I just think back to the day he was 14 and I tried to deal with it and think " This is all on you now Dear," The boy does not disrespect me in any way, so life is great as I remind her of that first day.
***** women seem to want their cake and eat it too. Well she is eating it now.
+jimm bou not all women. you did a good job. She blew it.
Physical discipline is not enough, I suggest waking your son up every morning by dumping cold water on him, or by buying a lash and lashing him on the back, that way you don't take the chance of brain injury if you punch him in the head.
Garrik Cook U missed the point based on your disagreement with how other handle raising children. But then again there are always people out there that have a better solution to a situation they are not personally involved in
+Garrik Cook hahaha!
Ive been on my own since i was 18 years i lived in a car for 2 months while saving for my own place i thank my parents for letting me go because of that im the man i am today.
I treat my parents like gold!! Our parents aren't gonna be here forever..
Correct bro
I have mad respect for men who think and speak so highly of their lives. If men only knew how powerful that is
Having said that my 20 was a monster and we stood up against her so she left and now she hate us and it's ok hate us all you like but no more hurting us in our home where we feed you we had it
So the Be Kind name doesn't fit? No wonder she hates you. Ugh.
Everyone has their own motives including your parents, trust no one.
Diane Scott mean reply.
What an outstanding man and husband. Gives me chills!
I think your daughter is bullying you and that's why you are so scared to stop her be strong she got to go
Yeah but who raised her to act like that and is still enabling her to continue the behaviors?
It still has to end some day.
He was 1000% correct! Best advice.
I’m 23 and I live with parents. I’ve had arguments here and there with my folks but I’m not verbally abusive.
Why not talk to your daughter like a human being and ask her to be more civil? I'm amazed that parents don't want to talk to their children.
Joe Schmoe talking only gets you so far.i had such good kids but once they became teenagers they started getting mouthy then it became full blown rebelliousness. we tried counseling, family therapy .my rules were ignored my rules were basically just attend school and do their chores.unfortunately its to the point now i am verbally abused and i feel it will get worse .i tried everything i dont see where i went wrong .
puffalump76 That sounds to me like you're not a good parent. I hate to say it without knowing you, but I doubt any child brought up by good parents with good values would have their kids verbally assault them. I can only see this happening if your try talking to your kids like their dogs. When is the last time you touched your kids, had a family outing or told them you loved them?
@@CasiodorusRex Plenty of children brought up by good parents with good values go "wrong" somewhere along the way. And plenty of children brought up by bad parents with bad values manage to make something of themselves.
Some parents are afraid to talk to their adults children. Because they don't want them to get upset. That's why those children don't respect them, misbehave...
My partner's daughter is 20 and her son is 18. Both were home schooled and were not disciplined. When they went to college they both severely changed and now do drugs/ drink, their lazy and obnoxious. They have no respect for their mum, me or their surroundings. They have all the crockery and cutlery in their rooms covered in mold, just filth everywhere. They run it round the house, home chores, don't make me laugh, they don't do anything. They refuse to get jobs and just bum off the WiFi and help themselves to food that they don't offer to help shop or pay for. They are not my kids so I get absolutely no respect from them. Their mother is so soft she can't do anything about them. Just lets them walk all over us and be extremely rude. I've known them all their lives (20 years), lived with them for 6 years and had a relationship with their mother for 8 years. Doesn't mean anything. My partner feels guilty at the thought of kicking them out into the real world and out of our pockets and lovely space we have created over the years that they trash on the daily. So I'm left to put up with their abuse. My mental health is suffering severely because of them to the point I lost my job. Yet my partner still supports them because they are her children. I'm lost........ Trouble is all 5 of her kids are the same, her eldest was 30 when she gave him an eviction notice. They all have the same traits. But judging by that example I have to put up with their abuse for another 12 years IF she gives them an eviction notice at 30 also. I must truly love my lady to put up with this torment. I could go on and on...........
I've been homeless and it's the Most humbling experience you'll ever ever experience.
"Bracelets that connect" best line ever.
My dad was the same way. He was laid back and fun, but did not allow us to disrespect my mom🙏
What do you mean you're walking on egg shells to keep from setting her off. I thought this was your house.
I'm 60 years old and if I was verbally abusive to my mother even now (who's old school Polish) Id be picking up my teeth in the next county!
Caleb She is and i love her dearly. She's the daughter of Polish immigrants who were old school in raising their kids and so is my mom. She don't know about 'time out' or any of that child rearing psychobabble. I don't disrespect my mom, ever!
Dave is right about having her leave because of lack of DISRESPECT for her mother .yes it is hard to do but has to be done .
20 year olds should still be living at home. 20 year olds are children. The brain is still developing. They have a hard time multitasking and they are figuring out a lot at that age. 20 year olds should still be provided for. 20 year olds are children.
😂🙄
Spoken like a true 20 year old.
I'm just trying to figure out here WHY the parents are just now wondering what to do with a verbally abusive TWENTY year old?? Why did they coddle her and allow this to ever get to this point? Did they not have any rules in the house she needed to follow in order to be allowed to continue to live there PRIOR to this? I understood from an early age that everyone that lived in a household contributed to the household, and have respect for other family members. Two options if you didn't go along, punishment, or you could leave.
+Karen Shanley Then if that is the case, she no longer needs to be in that house period.
We are only hearing part of the story. From her point of view she's walking on eggshells and is being verbally abused, but if the man is putting up with it, its very possible she's blowing it out of proportion.
20 is not that old! It's basically a child.
ScarletNight Thats not true. Her husband is not the one being abused so he has a different perspective.
@John Taylor Teach that to her daughter? Lol. Better don't do that. I read that a spoiled kid ruined the flowers all the time on purpose and her dad told the gardener that he could hit her if she did it again. So he did. She hated him the rest of her life and fired him when she grew up.
My oldest son lived at home until he was 23 . College was not in his future, but he had a job and worked since he was 16 , while in school. He stayed at that same job after graduation, went full time . His father and I made him responsible for his own phone bill , car insurance, and he bought his own car. We also made him pay rent to cover his usage of utilities and such. It wasn’t a massive rent but enough for him to understand nothing is for free especially when you are now an adult by law . We showed him how to save and manage his money. When he finally moved out , he had three months worth of bills saved as a buffer along with what it took to get into a place of his own. He moved out , and never had to move back home . He is now married and they own their first home. The goal was to give him the skills, and enough time to have his finances in order so that he would be successful on his own and not have to come back home. Very proud of him.
I did this and it was the hardest - and best decision I ever made.
My daddy didn't play around about anybody disrespecting my mom either. We could be mad but best not raise our voice at her, call her anything other than Momma (I couldn't even address her as HER when voicing my frustrations lol) Daddy don't play when it comes to Mom.
Ha ha. Me too. My father would not allow me to call my mother "she" or "her." Later on, this came to me as I stupidly allowed my own husband to disrespect me and he allowed and encouraged my sons to treat me this way. Just plain stupid.
My Daddy was fierce about it too!! Nobody disrespected my Mother in the house and we called her Mama.
You were raised right.
I'm curious. English is not my first language, but is saying "her" or "she" a sign of disrespect?
When you are standing in the presence of someone you know and speaking to another person about him or her, it is impolite not to use their name. For example, I, my father and my mother are speaking, and I say "She said I was late." Out of respect, I should have said "Mom said I was late." Technically, it's not grammatically wrong, but it is disrespectful, like disregarding their presence, speaking as if that person weren't there. It's aa subtle way to snub someone by not acknowledging their presence. And this subtlety was not missed by my father, for sure. I received a quick and authoritative reprimand for disrespecting my mother. I did it just once, 60 years ago, and never forgot the lesson.
Caller: "My daughter is verbally abusive."
Dave: "Why isn't her stepfather beating her? I would beat her."
Lol
You probably didn’t think this was funny but it is
Physical impact sometimes is the right stimulus for some children! It may scare ya, but it’s called discipline. The grown adult will look back and thank the parent. 👍👍
Exactly. This is more of a comedy channel for me.
@@macummings7818 yes and prison is just a place buddy
I had to put my foot down with my 25 year old am so proud of him running his life without mommy our relationship is great now😊❤❤
I'm in the same situation, but my daughter is 18 and she's physically, emotionally & verbally abusive with me. I have 2 other kids, But I will not give my kid money to move out. she doesn't help out around the house, she doesn't help with bills even with her 2 jobs. She doesn't contribute to anything. She runs away and comes back when she's had enough and does it again months later. My heart goes out to this mom because you feel helpless.
Throw her out
Isn't the law state that once the child is 18 you do not have to raise your child anymore a child that is 20 years old back sassing her mother pack her bags up and let her see the world work
Law also doesn’t deny two men having sex with each other I bet you r a huge fan of the laws.
You dont buy a puppy at 8 weeks old and 7 years later try discipline and wonder why you get bit !
I know thirty year old with kids who live with their parents so I don’t see what it hurts to live at home if you’re single and save.
Holly S Or 21 and Single no debt and investing
This used to be the norm (multi-generational households).
Thank you kind lady👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👍🏾😉
I think the main issue she mentioned is that the daughter is very abusive towards her...
And behave
To quote Dave Chappell doing a skit about the great Rick James “ What do five fingers say to the face?”
“SLAP”!!!!
Lol she ain't ever coming back....good job
Yet another reason I am childfree by choice! I am glad I don't have to deal with that kind of abuse, especially from someone who I sacrificed so much for. I will stick to enjoying my husband, dog, house full of antique furniture and the freedom to come and go as I please.
This is so helpful!!!!! So many therapist and peers say be kind, don’t get mad, ask your kid if is ready to talk. NO this is not acceptable! Helping an adult child and you get mouth- no no no. And it’s ok to not tolerate
I got kicked out when i was 21 only because i struggled to find a job, i was also always respectfull and helped around the house, but it was not good enough for my parents. I then out of neccesity turned to illegal and shady ways of making money and succeded at it and did terrible things over the years. So yea, I became "sucessfull" but Now im 41 year old Guy, dead inside, abusing drugs, And with my humanity gone pretty much. So think twice before you decide to kick your kid out of the house. He/she will most likely end up like me or even worse.
Get off the drugs and get a career. Go to a drug rehab center if you must. Don't blame your parents for life. Take charge of your life.
Nobody turns to illegal things out of necessity. There are always alternatives they just require more effort and time. Stop playing the victim. I was on my own at 17 because my parents divorced and when they found other people, there was no place for me. I allowed myself to play the victim for a number of years, got into drugs and drinking but eventually at 28-yrs old I realized I had to take responsibility for my life. I got into counseling. Learned to forgive myself and others, really found God and changed my whole life for the better. You can do it.
Now I am married and I am very close with my parents. I’m glad it wasn’t easy because I know I can make it. Now we have an adopted 19-yr old who still lives at home but pays rent and bills. He has a job and is in college so he’s doing well but we are getting close to him moving out. I think by 21 he will be on his own.
I have a granddaughter that was very abusive and disrespectful to her Mother and me..this terrible behavior was linked to mental illness..I think that it's best to talk to some Mental Health professionals before you start throwing her out of the house.
Every single parent who kicks there child out for any reason .
Is a huge disgusting disgrace to God because God will never accept that at all .
All you parents should be ashamed
Dave I love the way you put this so pain and clear...!!!
Love this guy, on point, finally good advice
if she lives in your home and gets her mail there. serve her with an eviction notice and have the sherrifs department uphold it if she still wont leave.
Just change locks when she's out
Got kicked out when I was 18. (From uk btw) struggled in college Cos had work loads to pay rent. Been paying rent for 4 years moving in and out of different places being homeless twice. So much wasted money on rent. Min wage couldn’t afford owt just afford enough to live. Didn’t do well in uni Cos had to work soo much as well
Age 22 moved back into my mums, couple of months later I’m 23. Pay my mum £300 a month and managing to save. Help to buy isa opened.
Hopefully in a few years will have enough for own house. My mum rents. If I own a house she will always have a spare bedroom to say thanks for helping me Cos wouldn’t be able to save without living at home. Learned the hard way by getting kicked out the value of money.
Yes I agree with you, childern will learn the value of money
Since I was 18 I dreamed of living my own. At 32 I finally moved out the first time I moved out I was forced out at 25 but not ready. I had to come back because I could not manage on my own. I had been told by so many people I could never live independently. Don't throw someone out because if they are not ready they will come back. Get her counseling and help. I have disablities myself so it may be different for her. I sometimes had nervous breakdowns but the police was called on me once and they gave me suggestions on how to control my emotions better. If she gets like that call the police but dont throw her out. I actually got a number to a hotline that helped me get on track.
Umm excuse me I do live on my own but I moved out the first time before I was ready. Excuses it is not an excuse if it is true. It is like saying to someone who has cancer stop making excuses for being out of energy or sick. Shesh..Society makes it hard to move on your own.
+Michelle Harrelson (Fabulous40) Parents are deluded if they think 18 year olds are just going to go off and get rich and be all independant. I say to move back in with Mom and Dad until you saved some money for a home, and paid off all debts, then get a house at 40.
Considering that you can't free range raise your kids, I feel no sympathy for parents having to take care of their kids into their late 30's. That is the way it works, and to all kids. Just move back in with Mom and Dad. They deserve it. They bred, and didn't except the consequences.
Dave Ramsay seems like he is the right kind of strict. He's tough, but he's loving and he communicates what he's thinking.
Some times it would be nice to have a follow up on these stories, just to see how it turned out
Lived at home til I was 32, moved outta state to Arizona from california and have my own apartment
My mom loves this guy and she treats her kids badly sooo...makes sense I can't believe he condones calling this lady's daughter a "twerp" poor parenting is the reason for this 20 year olds lack of motivation and lashing out at her parents. Any man calling my daughter any names would never fly with me
In spain it's actually very common to stay home up to 30 years old.
Real estate is very expensive and rent also is.
Thats nice for them. But nobody here cares what goes in Spain.
@@jimcole6423 Ha spotted the American.
Where's "here" exactly? I'm willing to bet a large portion of the views are from other countries that are not America. the US isn't the only country on Earth. Shocking, I know!
@@jimcole6423 no one cares about you
@@jimcole6423you’re pathetic
She'd be 27 now. I bet she still lives at home and bullies her mom, who just takes it.
She probably beats her mom by now.
@@imtheprize lol
I live in the same situation with my brother, he verbally abuses our parents, has stolen from them, has broken many things in the house not to mention he’s always high on drugs and still gets lives in this house just because my parents don’t have the heart to kick/ evict him. 😒
My children are very respectful and my 21 year old loves with me and is awesome in every way
Long story short my son got arrested when he was 19 I warned him I would not get him out he stayed there for 3 weeks a year later we went to lunch and he asked me do you remember that Mom I nearly cried and said yes I thought he was going to grip at me to my surprise he said it was the best thing you be never did for me since he hasn't had so much as a parking ticket by the way it was the LONGEST 3 weeks of my life
Much respect to your strength for doing that. My wife has put this little safety net under our son all his life and he's completely useless at the moment at 19. His entire life I have worked to counter-balance this and it shows. With me he does what he's supposed to do but when she is involved he exploits it every single time.
Obviously, Dave has never had to deal with someone else’s grown children.
Reading these comments I really hope some of you don't have kids. Children are all born with the same amount of knowledge. Every behavior and word are taught. If a child isn't raised properly or with enough love and attention they act out. Bad behaviors usually are a result of fear, anxiety or a need for something that they don't know how to express. You should never throw out a child. You should have conversations with them and ask them what they need and help them accomplish their goals. Some of you say that it's all about "respect and who pays the bills," let me ask you this, why did you have kids? Did you want to teach them how to think for themselves (including how their actions impact others) everything you know and give them a better life than yours or did you have them so that you could control them and ditch them when they aren't how you expected them to be? Respect goes both ways and by yelling at them, hitting them or kicking them out you are teaching them those behaviors. The only way to stop bad behavior is with love and structure. Punishment is essential but only if it fits the crime. (Abadonment is not punishment, even if your child is 18+ they are still your child. Teach them how to be responsible so that they can move out when they are ready.)
I've been taking care of myself since I was 16. Its incredible how many 40 year olds I know living with money and daddy still waiting to get a life. Enabling hurts children
You must've had a sh*t childhood and family; I'm sorry. Multi-generational households are wonderful; you're able to relax and everyone is supportive. One stick breaks easily; a bundle of sticks won't ...
Thanks to Dave Ramsey's teachings I shoved my pregnant wife down the basement steps and we've been debt free ever since!
You're a sick freak. I just reported your comments
+xandror I think you make a great point. The pre-Roe v Wade method according to Stanhope. Or, drive some 500 miles and pay $500 for an abortion. That's an easy kickstarter. I wonder if Ramsey knows he makes abortion look down right saintly?
+xandror His reasoning is indeed in that direction.
+xandror Dave's parents would have saved a lot during their lifetime if they decided to abort him in the first place.
tuff love works some times not always
Literally throw your kid in the street? What kind of Christian are you Dave Ramsey. How about talking through things going to counselors helping her get a job reviewing her resume being a family! Kindness!
No disapline throughout her life. She has no respect whatsoever and won’t want to go to tharaphy or negotiate or anything. This is a situation where the parent has let the kid run all over them and rule the house (in a sense). Consueloing wont help, not now anyway.
I think you missed the part in the bible where it says if you have a rebellious child, drag them before the elders of the land, plead your case and then they stone the child to death. This passage is referring to adult children who refuse to work or are rebellious. Don't put God in you Fluffy bunny, baby chick, blue skies and rainbow box. Go read your Bible properly.
Kathryn B I agree Kathryn! I had to comment..😊
There is always room for conversation and boundaries..unless you or your family is in danger.. If it doesn’t work you will have done all you could do THEN other options should be explored.. WITHOUT actually kicking her out in the streets! 💜 There are many other answers here. I have 3 daughters so i am not oblivious to attitudes 👍🏼 People are always looking for the easy way out’s these days not spending the time necessary to actually correct behavior..Behavior can be corrected..Also just fyi I am not condoning this child’s behavior.
2 Timothy ✝️ explains how self centered, cold, selfish etc the world is to come and it has.. so don’t be like the world.. help your children! Even if the consequences hurt, hard lessons always yield growth!
God never lets pain be wasted!
God Bless! 👑🙏
i live at home and im 23. lived at home while getting a degree in science and then my nursing degree. Now im just job hunting non stop so i can save a little and move out this year! My parents are amazing to even let me stay at home all this time with no bills other than paying for my college degrees! great advice from dave on this one!
Cherish your parents
Don't date a single mom with a child. There is 100% a reason she is single and 110% of the time no one wants to actually parent their children. We all say "oh no one can nurture a child like a mom" also saying this while the mom complete ignore the kid to go chase dick all day desperately hanging on to any guy the shows up
I lived at home for a time in my twenties. There were no problems. There's no time to be disrespectful when you're working two jobs.
My step son is 20 now, his mother that he barely sees just brought him a 3rd computer monitor. He is rude to me, he never talks to my son. He actually is rude to my son to and showed him pornography, he sleeps all day and is up all night playing games and door dashing, opening my front door at 4 in the morning when I am trying to sleep. I try to talk to my husband, which is his father and he says he doesn’t care what he does during the day and he doesn’t believe he is mean to me, my husband is ok that he locks himself in a dark room and comes out for 4 hrs after 4 pm only. I can’t sleep. I asked my husband for respect from him and to have a family conversation about his responsibilities, he said why do I have to do all that. I am definitely praying to my heavenly father for this situation to change. It’s been going on for the last 6+ years.
Mr. Ramsey, forgive me, sir, but this is a bunch of bull. It doesn't work that way in real life. The truth is, parents can raise and discipline all of their children in the same manner, and one of them will just turn out completely rebellious and verbally abusive.
To the woman who called, I'm not a parent. But I'm very close with two people who gave their parents a very hard time verbally and were sent out of their homes. It's hard to find inexpensive accommodations. Tell her to find a place to live. Maybe send her to some relatives or to a friend's at first until she can find a place. Take away any credit cards of yours that she may have. Give her a monthly stipend of $200 - $300 per month for three months (do not give her all the cash at once!). Tell her after three months there will be no more money.
There are a lot of other factors that may need to be considered. Most importantly, you and your husband need to be on the same page. Come up with a plan together.
Here's the thing, from my observations, in the case of a verbally abusive child, one of the parents is as well. Perhaps the parent that is being attacked. It's not right, but she's mirroring that behavior. You both need to be apart and, as the parent, you need to watch how you react to your child. It's not a simple issue to solve, but I believe that the relationship can be saved with time.
Now, a physically abusive child is a different story, and I believe that Mr. Ramsey is correct in what he is saying regarding an adult child who is physically abusive.
I would have never acted like that lady’s kid if I stayed under my parents roof, especially if they let me live there for free. Even when I was just graduating high school and helping pay the bills living with my parents, I still respected them. Don’t bite the hand that feeds.
I remember when I first got on my own how much more respect I had for my parents. I remember that it didn't take long to feel the drudgery of day after day after day going to work, paying rent, buying food, the endless mind numbing loop of the whole thing, eat, sleep, work. I thought about how my parents did it for decades! You never get a true sense of what reality is till you work and pay for everything, times I'd rather be flogged than to go to some jobs I've had. But you go anyways, because you have to. That young woman needs a dose of reality, and then to learn that it's not all bad. The rewards of your labor can be very sweet, and the pride of making it on your own is priceless.
Exactly, respect for that. I tell kids don't be in such a rush to grow up. Enjoy school, only having to study and play sports if thats what you do. If you are college material go to college or go to technical school. Once you jump into adult day to day reality there is no going back. This goes x10 if you are not working in a field you love.
oversimplified advice (which his format forces him to do) for a very complicated situation. A 20 year problem can't be fixed in a 5 minute phone call when you hear one side.
My daughter is allowed to stay with me for as long as she wants to. She gets to do anything she wants to. If she doesn't want to work....I'm not going to make her. I make enough to support both of us
Oh my. What happens if you become disabled or die? How will your daughter know how to survive?
@paulastrand1796 OH my...She has a 3.6 GPA and is in college atm in Marketing....I also have a Will....That's a thing that when you die you can leave stuff to people. I also have a Life Insurance policy that goes to her...
I imagine she will be just fine is something bad happens to me. She is a very smart and mature young lady.