My 18 Year Old Moved Out And Won't Talk To Us!
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In the video you seem to sympathize with the mother. Why? How do you know the mother isn't at fault? How do you know the kid is on drugs, or doing foolish things? The mom didn't know how could you? Kids dont go from straight As to leaving the house in a year because "they lost their mind", something is wrong and the parents have fault. the kid may and probably is also at fault, but parents never tell a story that makes themselves look bad.
P.S. the Parents dont have the right to choose his faith. If he chooses to be atheist, and that's what caused issues, I think the kid di the right thing by leaving a toxic home. Being that your religious, it would be interesting to know your take, can you accept AND respect your kid or any person enough to let them believe in what they want. (If you change anything including inheritance or level speaking to someone the answer is NO)
U totally ok boomerd this one
This was only partially financial advice. The rest was misinformed social counseling about a situation Dave had very little understanding of.
Dave sometimes you miss the boat entirely. You think other families taking people in is a bad thing. Some families are very dysfunctional and for some reason you overlook that. I can't take you seriously sometimes.
I saw myself in the kid's story. I left my parents at a young age and my reasons, simply put, were death by a thousand cuts. I couldn't bare them any more, all they ever cared was my grades and they were never there to connect emotionally. Long story short, I left never to look at them again after a heated verbal exchange. I got my self through school and college by working three jobs. I have nice career that pays 120k and I am doing better than I deserve. The best decision I ever made was to never see them again. Some people don't deserve to have children, because they believe providing food and shelter is enough. The mother needs to look deep into her soul and figure out where she went wrong, her demeanor was very reminiscent - "it's all about her" ...She just made her son an addict in the public's eye based on suspicion...It is reflective of the kind of mother this poor kid had to endure.
He’s 18...
4.0 student...
No addictions...
AND he doesn’t want to live with his parents?
Something is WRONG WITH THE FAMILY
takforce06 THATS a Christian family.
@@Mkx56 That's not a real christian family
Obviously lol
Nah she said she suspects so but isn’t sure
@@billbergen9169 real Christians don't force there children to live with them. At the age of 18.
I love parents who run a "my way or the highway" household then get upset when the child chooses the highway.
So true!
Exactly. My stomach is churning listening to this which tells me my gut says there something wrong here and there is way more to it than that. I would love to hear the son's side of the story.
@@annalammers9978its very possible she’s not telling the full story but there’s also a good chance that other set of parents helped drive a wedge by telling the kid he’s the victim and his parents are the problem and that’s sadly very appealing to young people that are having depression, and depression is very common among teenagers. It happened with my daughter when she was in high school and those other parents caused a lot of added problems in our household. She’s 22 now and embarrassed about the way she acted and I don’t blame her. We should have done a better job of showing how much we loved her while not giving in to her tantrum, but I do also blame other adults that know nothing about raising children for making her feel justified in her behavior and just assuming it’s the parents fault.
@@jeffr9854 That's a fair point. Thanks for showing me another perspective.
Worse for a mother now...mothers are the reason kids are growing up, finding themselves narcissistic as a coping mechanism from trauma and mental fog they dealth with... Worse for a mother to be an enabling of the narcissistic father
I would love it if the 18 year old called and gave his side of the story.
the parents are probably forcing a religion and college and other wastes of money on him
EXACTLY ✅
@@jacobs5518yeah a bit like Dave, I like his financial philosophy but I know he’s said his kids won’t be in his will if they stop being Christian which is a bit nuts to me
@@Drenwickification yeah its nuts, religion is nothing but a tool to control the masses
That he is an addict? That would be interesting
I’m in my 50’s. I left my parents’ house at 17. For good reason.
That kid had a reason to leave; may have been good or bad.
If the parents don’t know the reason he left, they’re either delusional or liars.
What type of reasons?
I know a person who left the house at 17. He is much older now. Suffering from bipolar disorder, maybe other mental illnesses as well. How can you be so certain the parents are delusional or liar?
@Sonja Ilic they’re probably Mormon you know all of them live in Idaho and Utah
@@sonjailic5770you made a lot of assumptions.
However, I hate to break it to you but parents can and should control their kids’ sex lives while under their roof.
You sound like a massive groomed. Sad and scary.
Exactly
it pisses me off how some narcissistic parents cry to everyone how much they miss their kids but are a huge part of why they left.
Yea a big red flag is their seeming assumption they have NOTHING to do with it.
@She Wolf some parents are too overbearing and controlling..just saying
it's a power trip, once narcissistic parents see that their kids don't need them they become nicer in order to get their kid back
I completely agree with you on this.
That the first go to was to disown the son tells the heart of the story. I wish the son well, and hope he has the strength to carry on. Let the dead bury the dead.
18 year olds dont run away. He is an adult. I'm sure there is so much more going on
t206kid He ran away in May 2019. He moved out in June 2019. He doesn’t turn 19 till July 2020. That means he ran away and then moved out at 17 when he was still a minor they were legally responsible for.
Parents probably treating poor child like $hit
Yo Bo that sometimes the case
it sounds like he burned out and doesn't know what to do with his life right now. I'm sure he will figure it out after some time.
His grades started tanking. He's probably on alcohol or drugs.
He ran away and they just assumed that he was on drugs and destroyed his character without knowing the full story smh 🤦 😒
Fr
My mother did the same thing. Her friends coddled her and everything
He very likely was doing drugs though. It's a good assumption. It's shocking how often drugs are to blame for erratic behaviour like this.
The grades tanking is a HUGE red flag.
He probably is, and I believe you know it Anderson.
That kids gonna call this show, say he left his home at 18. Daves gonna say good for you 🤣
Lol 💯
“He left our home...” (holds back tears)
“What is your household income?”
😂😂😂😂
Im dead 😂
😂😂😂
Beans and rice, rice and beans
@@LL-xx4iq are you African?
“He broke into our home twice” is how she describes him going to their house to pick up his stuff while they weren’t there?
Lydia Smith exactly. Gimme a break
Lydia Smith it’s possible the house was locked up and not having a key because he moved out, he would have to break in.
He moved out. His choice and doesn't want any relationship with his parents. It's not his house any more. He broke in.
Lydia Smith Exactly.
Hmm. Called the cops on him.
Went on national television practically slandering her child who left and thinks this is the way to get him back? He’s gone.
Yeah, and why a financial show?
@@hunterj.730 For real. It sounds like I stumbled on an episode of Dr. Phil.
She hopes money might control him. It sounds like a crazy religion issue
For life. This kid will never talk to his family again. He will be wildly successful and start his own family.
Her saying, "He left on mother's day weekend" says everything.
A good mother who had his interest in mind wouldn't be bring up her resentments when trying to help him.
RIGHT!
“Her resentments” There are ways to know if someone is resentful. If they bring it up too much. She didn’t bring it up a lot.
@@honestfriend767 it’s the fact that she brought it up at all . she woulda never brought it up if she didn’t feel some type of way about it
@@honestfriend767 When did that become the definition of resentful?
If anything repeating something over and over is a sign of obsession.
You can be resentful and obsessed with your resentment or just resentful the normal way.
@@jamalsanders2913 she might be hurt but not resentful. She only brought it up once and never brought it up again.
She sounds like a master manipulator.
“Broke in” probably meant getting his social security card and birth certificate because they wouldn’t give it to him.
My thoughts exactly!!!!! I do understand I had to get a replacement SSN card and only have a copy of my birth certificate😞
OR - he's picking-up his own possessions without contacting his parents.
@@opsgreg8392 and?
@@opsgreg8392 if your point is you don’t like me, I guess you win. I don’t have a problem with that. Go right ahead.
@@opsgreg8392 I’m this many 🖕
As a 25 year old who had moved out at the age of 16, and been criticized for it by many who dont know how my childhood was, i can tell you it was the best decision of my entire life.
@Jordan Selby
Good for you🙏🏾❤🙏🏾👍🏾👍🏾
Thats great man but, it's not that easy for every single young 16-20 year old or even some 25 year olds in the world you do realize right?
Everyone I know who left their family early turned out better than those who stuck around late.
How you leave at 16 without being homeless.
@@DoctorRickSanchez it's not easy for anyone to move out without financial support. But for some people it's necessary. I moved out when I was 18 too because my household was very abusive and manipulative and I had to get away from and figure out who I was. To imply that his/her moving out was easy is kind of an insult.
There's a massive piece of this puzzle missing and everyone seems to know it but Dave and the co host
Yeah :/
They just take the callers words at face value and can never read between the lines.
I think Dave was getting a clue but not the counselor who's not very effective imo. They only have a few minutes on here.
I don’t think so.
I mean they aren't there to judge the parents they give her advice like
I don’t understand how they went through this entire call, and offered advice without once asking her what her son has expressed his issue is! I think that’s very important information to have!
Toxic abusive parents, he wants mental peace
Dave grew up in an era of the "parents are always right and can't be questioned." Dave is a bit toxic himself, saying he would cut off his kids of their inheritance if they weren't Christian. I'm guessing he also only has one or two flavors of protestant in mind.
@@abacab87 100% Dave has a very strict view of what is correct and is controlling as fuck. Even his company has rules that you can get fired if you get pregnant outside of marriage
I have a friend who got his girlfriend pregnant and he teaches at a catholic High School, and even that didn't get him fired, and he didn't have a shotgun wedding, although he did eventually marry her.@@funfact7188
They're addressing one piece. They have 2 minutes. Geez...
Dave, There's more to this story than meets the eye. Why would an 18 year old completely cut off his entire family? Let's get the SON'S point of view.
The only friends I’ve had that did this had parents that were out of control. No son or daughter would pass out free rent unless the house is stressful to his health
I would have agreed a couple years ago, but I experienced this kind of drama with my son when he turned 17. After having a conversation with the parents' home he went to, i found out he lied to the other family about our family. That other family simply didn't have any rules and he wanted to be a part of it.
L. S. That’s cause you failed as a parent in his environment or surroundings. Bad influences will circle in his life when your not there so you need to make sure he goes to a safe school and see who he’s with
@@tommycastro9424 I can't agree with you on that. God gives us all the ability to make our own choices and at age 17 my son wanted to run away to live with his girlfriend. The girlfriend's parents allowed him to stay there with their daughter as if they were adults...what 17 year old boy wouldn't want that...so I agree that his environment played a part but not his home...and as far as "being there". I was there...at every game, parent teacher conference, boy scout meetings, etc.
What does the son’s point of view have to do with what the parents do with their money?
There’s more to this story...
Yup. She's not giving the whole story.
She gives off some narcissist flags to me. She calls in to a financial show for emotional advice because she respects him. She calls to make a show of what a victim she is without hard, concrete evidence besides a summary of the general situation.
INK I’m not worried about the “evidence” because the son needs to have some privacy. But I agree that there is more to this story.
Dropped grades around a year or two after they did Ramsey’s thing? Maybe it’s connected, chances are it’s not.
Absolutely it is!!
Aell obviously there's more to the story.
The way Dave Ramsey just jumps to the conclusion that he's a cocaine addict is insane.
Well he's the king boomer, always sides with the narcissist boomers
Right, and then “These are the kind of twerps who take people in.” And he calls himself a Christian. These people opened their arms and their home to a young man in dire need need.
‘Our younger daughter is the executor.’ So she is the golden child and he is the scapegoat.
Ding ding ding! Yep, mommy starts right out of the gate with the financial power she has, how bad her son is, and how he won't get any of it because he refused to conform or be controlled...at 18yrs old.
I'm sorry, lady, I guess the audience missed the part where your son is pissed off or fighting to get your precious money all while not wanting anything to do with you. Lol. She needs a shrink to show her how she's so BLATANTLY creating division between her children; sister is "good", so she's executor, brother is "bad" so gets the punishment of getting nothing AND his sister being able to execute the will. This is soooo typical of narcissistic abuse.
How on earth do you deduce all that from that statement?
@@paulab984 when you grow up with a parent who is a narcissist you learn the way these people operate.
@@juniorsgonewild
Annnd because it happened to you that automatically makes you the expert I determining what is going on in other peoples lives. Got it.
@@prissylovejoy702 no. What happened is, I watched a video, formed an opinion and posted it in the section where the hosting company solicits and allows comment. For some reason you read what I said and started sulking.
He 'ran away'at 18? There's a reason why young adults leave and its hard for people to comprehend this.
hes 18 he can do what he wants right
@Johnny Five amen! you hit the nail on the head, why should it be shocking that he/she lives on his/her own at 18? that's the age when adult life begins.
I am so surprised at this call. I am Mexican and as a culture we are pretty controlling as parents. I have 2 white friends who’s parents pretty much kicked them out whenever they turned 18, so my mind is blown right now because I was under the impression that as a culture white people were like that. My other friend is from Spain and she still lives with her parents but has all freedom of an adult and I envy her so much /: rent is too expensive where I am to move out so I’ll continue living with my controlling parents and save on rent 😅
@charles sanchez the runaway is not mature.
He was our play puppet for 18 years
She didn't even mention one single thing they might've possibly done to drive him away... Just listening to this woman for a few minutes gave me anxiety, she sounds selfish and controlling.
Exactly--"My way or the highway and what you feel doesn't even count."
Yup 👍
Her 3 children didn’t move out, but the youngest one does. This gives the lady credibility
This smells fishy. My parents painted my brother in a terrible light (including as an addict) when he broke off from the family. They did the same to me when I broke off. Our childhood was traumatic and our parents were abusive and there was a lot of neglect. While addiction could be at play, all of this smells like there’s a rat in her story….
I wish I’d had the strength at 18 to cut off my entire toxic family. Sounds like this kid is doing👌🏽👌🏽 for his age.
It took me years of tears, a difficult period my family threw back into my face, and getting desperate at age 29 to finally leave: BEST. DECISION. I. EVER. MADE.! 🧡
Yep!
@@terence.j thank you!! ❤️💛
Happy for you! You'll be ok!
I cut mine off best decision I ever made I have my own family now
When did this show turn into dr. Phil
karl nicolas 100%
When the COVID-19 rolled through. People have all kinds of issues with uncertainty, and Dave's not trained to deal with some of it. It's good to have backup. That being said, just like all of the other Ramsey personalities, I think he's building a brand for some kind of other show. He did the same with Chris Hogan, Rachel, Ken, etc.
This is the point of Dr D
When the economy shut down
I got real questions like do I own too much house after getting out of debt and I don't know if my message will ever get read.
(Before you comment, their phone lines are always busy and they get hundreds of thousands of emails.)
Im curious to hear the kids side of the story seems like alot they arent telling us
Yep it's a big red flag to me that she seems to not acknowledge doing ANYTHING wrong-hallmark of a narcissist.
I agree sounds like his parents are very controlling and maybe they were not really there for him growing up so there is no reason that he wants to be there! Or...he is on drugs but that does not sound like that.
Did his CO host really say my wife gets a (vote) this doesn't seem sexist at all does he 🤔🤣 Dude your wife helps make decisions she not just a vote she's half of the decision making process
They have the right to withhold an inheritance, but they don't have the right to outright control someone. He'll change when he's ready, she needs to let go.
He seems rebellious!
I find it sooo sad that they never asked what it was that drove him away. I am 20 (M) and one month ago I left home too. I have been in a abusive household for years my father is very wealthy worth more than 800 million but I threw all that away just because I couldn’t handle it anymore. They physically emotionally and verbally abused me since I can remember my siblings even worse. Now I decided to leave I have had no where to go I moved to a completely different country just to get away from my childhood traumas. I think we should listen to the boys side and see what he has to say. I definitely don’t believe this has anything to do with drugs
She sounds super controlling and they need therapy. She wrote guidelines IF he wants to come back with dates and such, to come back to the family!?!
Sounds like a controlling toxic family. He was a straight A student, and now he’s living with another family and you assume he’s on drugs. I moved away from my family and never looked back. Let him live his life. I earned my own way and made my own way.
The caller starts off by saying that their son no longer wanted to live by their “rules” and so he left. Let’s be real. It’s not normal for an 18 year old to abruptly leave the home and cut off their entire family. To me, that indicates that the guy’s parents are highly manipulative and narcissistic. I’m frustrated that Dave and Dr. D didn’t press for more information as to WHY they think their son decided to leave instead of letting her play the victim. Sad.
JC Tutoring exactly.. who would want to leave mom and dads house when you could live with them and save money? clearly there’s something wrong with the parents.
Perhaps the child didn't like the rules. A lot of children out here these days are disrespectful, disobedient, ungrateful, & entitled. I'm a mother of 2 adult children, 1 is responsible the other isnt, guess which one got kicked out.
Melissa VE That is possible, although just because you have rules in place doesn’t mean they’re reasonable or justified. Some parents simply take it too far, which I suspect happened based on how he left.
I’m sure they know the backstory. It would be too risky for Dave to answer this question without knowing more than she’s said on the radio.
Melissa VE we don’t know the whole story, and neither does DR. All I could think listening to this was my own situation a decade ago - my alcoholic father made several “rules” after I came out. He wasn’t religious, just conservative. Today, I’m a successful, responsible, productive member of society - but it took far longer to get here than it needed to. The saddest part of all was the damage done to my relationship with my younger sister, whom I wasn’t allowed to communicate with after I left.
Not all 18 year olds are the same, and not all parents are either.
As soon as she said “the family he’s staying with claims to be the safe house,” I knew we weren’t hearing the full story about the rules and regulations at their house
Whoa--I missed that; will re-listen.
FAX
yes 100%
Yeah something is off here.
@@Elizabeth-yg2mg Me too, she's speed talking and didn't catch most of it. LOL
Hey folks, he does not care about their money or the inheritance. He is 18, 18 year olds do not ponder or even think about inheritance. The poor kid simply wants relief from the abuse.
I grew up with a BPD mum who was very manipulative and emotionally abusive towards me and tbh I felt some red flags from this woman listening to her. Even things like her throwing in that he left on ‘Mother’s Day weekend’ just makes me think she’s trying all she can to make herself the victim rather than trying to put herself in his shoes and considering her own possible mistakes.
Projection. Having a bpd mother doesn't make you professional or a psychic, and you don't know what HE has gotten into, could be running with the wrong crowd.
And people need to stop weaponizing other people's serious disabilities to apply to anything they don't like.
Projection. Having a bpd mum doesn't make you a professional or a psychic.
But when you are a hammer, everything is a nail.
If bpd is still coloring everything you see and hear, there are unabated issues that need to be dealt with.
How do you know he isn't running with a criminal org or got into trouble he is too embarrassed to face his family?
Yes, she said Mothers Day, because it is important to mothers, that she is.
There is absolutely nothing in this one sided phone call that indicates anything more than a family fallout. And I come from a family with BPD.
It is OK to call life events just normal problems, and doesn't always have to be taken to the worst conclusion.
@@Nylon_riot what am I projecting? I never said she has BPD nor did I say I’m a medical professional
@@Nylon_riotthe problem is people don’t say it like that yes it’s true information that he left on that weekend. However, when people are dealt with trauma they don’t add up miscellaneous information like that unless you’re overthinking it and trying to make up a lie.
I’ve never known a parent who uses an inheritance as a carrot to be a good person.
He hates his mother for being overbearing and nagging. I can hear it in her voice. He hates his father for being weak and not protecting him from his evil mother. She thinks she can control him with inheritance money. That's so evil. I give him kudos for running out of there and being adult. Great job young man.
Dude. That was my childhood. I'm legit shattered.
@@writingonthewall3326 Unfortunately it's most people's childhoods. That's why most people hate their mothers.
An overbearing/nagging mother is evil? Interesting.
@@graceandglamor Yes, the worst thing a mother/father could do to their child is take away their innocence and responsibility. Most overbearing and nagging parents especially mothers do that alot to their kids.
SOBC equating being nagging or overbearing to “taking away a child’s innocence” is a complete non sequitor
Man, this lady can talk. Imagine the “conversations” this young man has endured
I wouldn't be able to live in a house with her either
I feel bad he had to deal with that for 18 years
It's probably an introvert guy, Straight A student who hates people who "bla bla". And is not allowed to express his own opinion or views. For such person, such home is like a PRISON.
Yeah wait and see how long it takes before his new famy kicks him out or he leaves because he cant follow their rules.
@@morebrainmoregains3234 Nope. I'm not a zoomer and I agree with this thread
“He ran away then broke in”..
No he got some of his essentials and dipped
As someone who saved when I barely had two coins to rub together, wore shoes with holes just to save on the money to move out and moved out before my family expected me to, I'll tell you for sure it's almost always because of the environment at home. A loving home is a place you will always want to go back to, even if it's not perfect.
There are 3 sides to every story: hers, his, and the truth.
Well Said! Agreed
I was thinking the same. I don't talk to my mom for very very good reasons! And she's very aware of those reasons. 😪 but maybe these friends got him into drugs...
@@annabella2528 I'm with you on this.
I always question when people say family values ....... like can you elaborate please ?
anna bella I agree. It’s definitely possible he may be into drugs and down a bad path. Then on the other hand, his family may be dysfunctional. We’ll never know!
I did the same thing at 18. My mother sounded just like this, so easy to act like the child is the only problem. Truthfully there was quite a bit of abuse both mentally and physically. We didn’t speak for years, and I built a life for myself without them. We have finally started to rebuild the relationship, but it won’t start for this family until momma quits acting like her 18 year old is a little baby. She is certainly not giving the whole story.
Johan w nah bad kids are a result of bad parenting.
Just like a animal.
Agreed. I moved out a week after turning 18. My mother was too controlling and I just wanted to have my own life. She begged me to come back, and despite the challenges of being a broke young adult in the real world, I wouldn't trade the independence for anything.
Johan w Kids, when adults, are a direct result of the parenting. So yes, almost ALWAYS.
You was the scapegoat
@@slicksteve22 Not always. It also depends on the kind of people you hang out with. I guess it also depends on the neighborhood too. It's much easier to change a "normal" kid to doing bad stuff than the reverse, so if you're in a friend group and one person starts taking hard drugs or committing small crimes, you can be sure that friend group will fissure in the future.
The son didnt want to say a word to them because he knows better. He knows from experience they will never hear him out. This is the reality of living in a narc family. You did the right thing, son. Good on you for taking your life back.
Exactly. Narcissistic family systems are designed to invalidate and discredit the most vulnerable members. You're scapegoated to the ends of the earth. Used as a convenient place for the family to offload their sickness and shame. You either accept that and sacrifice yourself, the truth of your experiences and feelings as a separate person, or you get away and detoxify yourself of their sickness. Narcissistic parents/systems NEVER take responsibility. Their illness simply can not and will not allow them to.
Strictly based off this video, I would’ve moved out asap as well 😂
She sounds insufferable! 🙉
Tracy tried to control him with the, _"This is my house and you can move out if you don't like it."_
So he moved out... now she's on the radio crying.
He doesn't communicate with the siblings because Tracy probably uses them to triangulate and push her agenda.
No doubt
Its like he's disgusted with all of them for ganging up on him
That's why my loving parents NEVER said those words. They are great parents but they vowed they wouldn't say something like that. I don't think it's because they thought if they said that we'd take them up on it, but I think that they never wanted us to feel like we didn't have a place to go if we needed a home. Hope that made sense.
Yep. My family was the same way. I moved to another state. They all said "I can't believe you left." I told them I literally just picked an option
What’s even more telling? Another family took him in. If someone’s taking you in, you are getting the 9th degree. Why are you leaving? Is it just a silly reason like you don’t enjoy cleaning? You ain’t getting supported by non blood if you are just a spoiled brat who - ohhhhhh.... she hits you.... wait what? EXCUSE ME?! On hon for the love of god please come in here, you are 18 and I will help you get into adult hood. You don’t need to suffer anymore. *THEN* that family calls the other family to confirm, and when she asks about the claimed behavior, Tracy decides to boast about how “this is our home and I’ll parent how I want. Don’t you judge me”. Which confirms everything the kid said
"He was a 4.0 student now he's barley passing" in other words despite Couch surfing and emotional turmoil he's still managing to pass his classes. I bet her versions of barley passing is a B-
You don’t know that. But I will say that the situation is a bit suspicious.
No it sounded like he might not graduate. People don't fall off the cliff like that unless there is something seriously wrong like drugs or mental illness.
@@littleripper312 no it’s all fake made up stuff in her head. The kid is probably doing fine without her
@@kevinarzola4781 YESSS! My mom tells people how bad I am doing and stalks my old friends….
I am fine without her but she can’t handle that I can survive without her interwoven into my life!!!! My hubby and I had to sever ties to be free from the crazy control….
She even called CPS in her state and ours trying to get “grandparents” rights to her grandchildren! Of course they laughed and said they needed concrete proof of abuse or neglect, which she didn’t have and stories wouldn’t cut it thank God.
This “mom” is hemming and hawing and seems to be “painting an emotional picture”. Narcissistic people are good at that and it makes it very hard to get local support from your community because of it.
Butterfly I can almost 100% tell you that it is the family based on the way the mother seems. I am very unhappy living in my parents' home and intend to move out when I turn 18 and can afford to do so. No one knows what his situation is and I can tell you based on personal experience that living with toxic family members can cause mental health issues. Personally I applaud the kid for getting out while he was still sane. Nobody knows how to take care of you better than you.
The fact that Dave thinks this kid will come back at 25 is nuts. Chances are if someone leaves at that age, they have good reasons to do so. If a kid lived in a happy home, they would rather save up and stay longer. I moved out at the same time and now 34. I come from a toxic family and would have never became a productive adult had I not ran away. Dave is awesome, but totally got it wrong this time. 😕
As soon as she blamed the other family who took him in I knew she was the problem. She pushed her kid out and now she can’t believe he actually left and wants nothing to do with her
So they are manipulating their son with an inheritance, if he goes with their terms. My narcissistic mother said the same thing to me by saying she won't give me a dime. I told her that it's her money and I respect her choice. Her head nearly popped off 😂😂😂
I don't think my mom's that bad.
I did, too. I told her, “I don’t want anything of yours.” She was a narcissist, psychologically abusive. She left a legacy of lies and damage.
Good for you ! I thought it was really weird that he would have to jump through hoops to get his inheritance. The more hoops the more he gets ? So weird to treat your family this way. Big red flag !!
He doesn’t deserve a dime if he won’t even talk to them.
Joshua Person You can’t take it with you.
When you try to control someone too much they will rebel. It doesn’t matter if it’s a family, due to a quarantine like a covid, politics... eventually people will seek their own reality and you may not be part of it.
Retired Manager morale of the story, build relationships with your children outside of draconian parenting
She kept mentioning if he returns home there's rules and guidelines so he's probably running away from those in the first place. 😬
IDontKnow WhoIAm lets all agree that “breaking” into the home is a bit of a stretch... it’s being proposed as if some random person broke in
IDontKnow WhoIAm "broke into a home" yet it was to get HIS stuff
People don't run away because of addiction.
There just way too controlling. I've seen so many ppl rebel and act out because of poor parenting(too strict).
That is what everyone thinks. Some kids go through rebellious times and parents put up boundaries and eventually the kid “comes to”. Honestly, those helping this kid out are evil. They are preventing an important lesson and a rock bottom moment.
A 18 year old can already think for himself like a adult so he probably has a extremely good reason for why he left.
It's probably something incredibly stupid simply because he's 18
If he wasn't on drugs or bipolar etc but the other family dissing this family, there might be something to it. That is odd and the older kids, I don't know if he doesn't engage because they'd tell the parents what he said.
I left my household a few months after i turned 19, and it was the best decision of my life. There have been a few struggles along the way, but i would never go back and change it. After i left, i had family friends and other family reach out to me telling me to apologize and go back home because it turns out that my family had said i had left because i was a rebellious kid who just wanted "freedom" and who didn't want to live with strict rules. However, they failed to mention how mentally abusive and controlling it was, to the point my life felt as though it was falling apart. Parents like her can portray themselves as the victim while being abusive to their children or belittling them to feel worthless. She sounds like she's manipulative and very similar to my family. I'm happy the boy left, and i wish him the best in his new life.
I was the 18 year old that did the same thing. It had nothing to do with drugs it was to get away from an abusive environment. I’m 40 now and still have limited to no contact with my parents. This lady is leaving out some info I think.
Yep, same situation for me and I can tell she is withholding information. She sounds just like my mom when I finally hear what she’s been saying about me!
@@Jaxmusicgal23 Oh, you were expecting perfect parents?
@@label1877 some people shouldn’t be parents if they can’t do the bare minimum like not being abusive
I am in the same boat, left my parents, graduated. Got married, they did not come to either and I do not talk to them. Best decision I have ever made. That lady is leaving so much out, rather not intentionally, they should have pressed for more info.
@@label1877 you know the bare basics like not calling on a financial show about your personal problems with your son. Do not talk badly about your kids behind their backs. I found out my father talked shit behind mine when I was 16. Your personal opinions should not ever go into the equation when raising your kids. Ever.
🤣🤣 My moms a narcissist and she sounds EXACTLY like her. Especially the “we SUSPECT addiction” it’s common for narcs to push blame on their victims by saying they’re on drugs or mentally ill. Good for him for leaving
Are you kidding me?! This is the kind of evil generation of kids we are seeing today. Narcissist kids who are ungrateful, disrespectful to parents and elders, who want their way with everything. America as a society with the kinds of kids growing uo today no accountability, no sense of morals, respect for elders and wisdom will completely destroy themselves and this country. You are an absute disgrace just like her 18 yo. How you do think you got where you are today? Your parents raised you gave you everything they could and you go on here to bad mouth them. Just wow!!
@@michaelkensington2494 your just talking buddy . say a whole lot of nothing
@@jamalsanders2913 ikr what he talking about
@@michaelkensington2494 You sound like a narc too.
@@Elizabeth-yg2mg Liz you are the evil generation that we see today. It was not like this in your grandparents generation. Ive seen kids throw away their parents. Force them into nursing homes, apartments and not once come visit them. One man died and none of his kids knew he was dead until the landlord came to collect the rent. You don't see anything wrong here because you are part of this generation of evil.
I moved out at 16. This doesn't 'just' happen. They did something to him, and they are incapable of taking accountability.
It sounds like he’s fine without you lady. I love how she’s obsessed with saying how she’s not giving him money either. He’s not asking for it!!!!
So she brought him back home "forcefully" and he left again but came back to get his things
He pulled a No Contact and is living with another family. Something dont smell right. Just saying.
I'm thinking it's an addiction problem.
@Heinrich Himmler judging by your user name so are you
TstormVA2012 definitely not an addiction problem
@@TstormVA2012 might be but I doubt it. Been through the same situation with my gf. It wasn't an addiction thing. Neither of us do drugs or anything. Her home life was terrible.
@@TstormVA2012 did you hear in the beginning about their rules and guidelines. There's more to the story and I doubt it's addiction .
Generally speaking, 18-year-olds who are still in high school don’t run away when everything at home is fine and they just don’t like the rules. I have a feeling this family is super controlling/abusive, has not accepted him for who he is, and/or has tried to force him into a way of life that he doesn’t want. And if the family that has taken him in thinks his parents are to blame, they’re probably right.
If the above is indeed true, then of course the kid’s grades will have dropped. When a kid feels that their home situation is so intolerable that they have to run away/move out while they’re still in grade school, that’s an incredible amount of stress, and it *will* affect academic performance.
Prolly making him go to church and eat a certain way save his money etc. Idk why people think they can mold people to an exact image of themselves then if they dont want to be that way they are rebellious and horrible. Get a grip "parents"
Disagree, they easily can become rebellious, fall in with bad friends, drinking, drugs, partying etc.
Yup, kids want security, no matter how rebellious they are. Unless they’re on hardcore drugs, they always want to be somewhere safe. I’m betting on home issues and a mother playing the victim.
They not accepting the fact that he is 18
@@teresayeates3437 Remember that, here, you have only one side of the story and it is already suspicious. That's very easy to side with the only side of the story you're given. This mom is really leaving a lot out.
How in the world did Dave bring drugs into this conversation? She never said anything about her son doing any kind of drugs. This episode was just strange. This mother sounds very toxic, I commend him for moving out of the house. Good job man!
Good job for the child, learning how to create boundaries early. May he learn how to heal his trauma and transform from the scapegoat to the hero by breaking the dysfunctional cycles of his generations
Hes not a child anymore because hes 18 but I get what you mean
lol!
Kids don't run away because things are good in the family, so they are not telling the bad that was going on in the house. I am 21 and also am not going back to my abusive dad even tho my financial needs are met there because I want to save my health and I don't want to live in fear for another few years before I finish college.
I feel sorry for you, and hope you can stay strong :)
But some kids run away because they feel entitled; they don't want to follow basic rules because their friends have "do what you want/get what you ask for" households.
"You don't love me because you won't give me a car and make me do house chores." Yeah that's not what love is. Love is showing you how to be responsible and providing a roof over your head and food on the table.
Katarina Karakaš well said, there is two sides to this story!!
Colbert Ta I agree with you, that's also very true 😊
@@colby__3185 Those kids come back almost immediately when they realize the world doesn't owe them anything. I've never seen a zero-contact situation that didn't involve abusive parents.
That's facts!!
Man we need context on this. Would love to hear the sons side.
ghos7fire son’s
@@NicE-jq3wv there are lot of sons
My gut says he left for a reason.
I wish him all the best.
At 18 you’re free and there really isn’t much they can do at this point. Good thoughts John.
It sounds like he is still in high school tho
THE MOTHER WAS CONTROLLING AND THE FATHER WAS TOO WEAK TO PREVENT IT
5:03 what a ridiculous comment from Dave. “These are the kind of twerps who take people in” 😕😕 Since when did opening up your home to a troubled teenager make you a twerp?!
She basically exposed herself. She is the problem in this.
I am not sure they are helping him
He was way off base here. It’s possible that a straight A student suddenly went nuts and went no contact for no reason and is lying to others about his parents, but it’s more likely that there’s more to the story than that. It’s impossible to know for sure based on this quick clip with only one perspective, but I’d put my money on the parents being abusive in some way.
Agreed. This comment from him was super disappointing.
Because he brought dishonor to his parents.
Interesting how Dave labels everyone else as “stupid” yet knows nothing about the caller or her husband. He’s heard one side of the story, and he’s already made up his mind. Dave and his sidekick have no idea what’s gone on in this home. They are clueless as to what the son has been subjected to in the home environment. Shameful to be so judgmental before you have the facts or both sides of the story. These are the kinds of decisions that send children back to abusive homes, many times ending up dead. Very scary & highly irresponsible.
Happy Place, Dave needs a legit psychologist to help him with these calls before somebody gets hurt
dave always side with females they are never wrong
@@zero1188 SIIIIIIIIIMP Ramsey
Dave is not that intellectually sophisticated, that's why he jumps to unsound conclusions so fast. It requires intelligence and nuance thinking to take into account both sides of the story.
Totally agree.
This 19 YO is going to make HIS millions and never need this narcissistic family.
I realy WISH the son would call in and tell him his side if his story. The mother is bla bla bla all the time, I am pretty sure she won't let him get a word in edgeways.
There's no way, a straight A student would just cut off everyone. There is something else going on here.
Sooooo much more going on with this lady. She sounds overbearing. Ugh, the son sounds like he made the right decision by moving on with his life..
laurah6381 I wish him luck
And so much is probably going on with this child.
Exactly.
They "brought him home forcefully. " Sounds like she's running a cult, not a family.
buyerbware25 that was a strange one.
If I was Dave I would’ve said
“Next call please “
charles sanchez if I would’ve left my parents house at 18
My mom wouldn’t shed a tear. As she said
You’re 18 ? I did my job. LoL.
@charles sanchez considering the therapist also said the kids don't get a vote on their feelings for their own lives for the 10 25 and 50 years plans?
@@Ladywizard And that he gave his wife "permission" to have a say...with therapists like these, who needs enemies?
Christian cult
“I don’t want to fund his insanity” “Or his disrespect!” I have a feeling that’s what it’s about right there for her. It’s not really that he might fail school. What bothers her is the fact that she was disrespected. She wants to have control over him even in her death with the will, which is her right, but it’s cloaked in concern for his well-being.
She got on this show so she could get someone on her side. I hope that kid is thriving
There two sides to this story so please don’t go crying for this women
Yup
Actually there are 3 sides: 1 parent’s side, 2 kid’s side and finally 3 the truth.
Anne Philipsien your absolutely right✅✅
Thats a fact, gotta hear his side
She has not said anything about what she is doing. Her "guidelines and structure" may be coming from a narcissist or a couple of narcissists. Toxic relationships shouldn't go on.
Alex Colegate bingo. They’re probably unrelenting in their standards and smothered him.
Or maybe he's just a kid who got in with the wrong people and is now in a downward spiral. We don't know but the lady here sounded sincere.
@J F Sure but to label someone a narcissist so willy nilly is ridiculous.
@Dave P So is saying he’s in with the wrong crowd
@@Jayday12345678910 If you look at what I responded to you would see that it was a response to them jumping to conclusions by offering up another possibility. That's all it was. I also said verbatim "we don't know".
The real question is what did the parents do this kid during his childhood for him to be acting like this. These parents make it seems like their kid just started acting up outta no where. No it stems from somewhere. I don’t think these parents are as honest as they sound.
Oh my God, sounds like my mom. I don't know about this woman but most times I've seen teens/ young adults disconnect from their parents is due to overwhelming toxicity from the parents. And then they talk to others like they're the victim.
I feel like there is a lot going on that she is not saying. This kid ran away for a reason. Maybe he is going out to ruin his life, or maybe he is getting away from a toxic situation and learning how to heal. As far as him not wanting any communication, he may just need time to figure things out on his own before he figures out his family issues. May God guide this 18 year old and his family in a good direction.
Well said. Two sides to every story.
Bingo
"May God guide this 18 year old and his family in a good direction."
You mean, "Bible-God"? What "God" are you talking about?
Absolutely!!!!
So true. This segment drove me nuts. No one is wondering about his perspective, they jumped straight into how the family that took him in are idiots, he’s ungrateful, made all these assumptions about his character. And they assume he’s going to crawl back. We don’t know any of this and id love to hear his perspective.
"Twerps that take people in"... isn't that a Christian thing to do? Help when you see a young person in need? Very disappointing that's it's assumed that the caller isn't guilty of alienating their child.
I think Dave is assuming the kid has a drug problem. The kid left the family because they were being strict on the drug issue and so he moved into a family of enablers who let him use drugs.
@@Corey1873 it would make sense if it weren’t for mom saying she’s never known him to use any drugs
@@kenziehoogenboom1803 The mom says she suspects drugs are involved in his change of behavior. Basically the picture she paints is that he was a model kid getting straight As. Something happened and his grades dropped, he started acting out and not following the house rules, he ran away, moved out as soon as he turned 18, stopped contacting the family, and broke in twice. The mom suspects drugs are involved but she doesn't know for sure because he doesn't talk to them. Of course she could be lying and something happened that ruined his impression of the family.
@@Corey1873 yeah the big issue is just not having enough information from multiple people, I know my grades dropped when I was younger and I tried to run away but that was from abuse but I know people who have ran away because of substance abuse etc. really it’s just not a good situation to be broadcasting but social media will do as it does I supposeee
I truly admire this young man for taking this brave step. I endured admonishments and manipulations to live right the way my parent thought I should and could never be good enough. I regret to this day not getting out at 18, hard as it would have been. To all of those on the comments that did move out at 18 I salute you.
Yeah he sounds like he is doing great when he is about to fail high school and using drugs.
@@hollystiener16 😕
@@hollystiener16 Dave assumed he's doing drugs. No one knows that from the call.
When you cut a child off from financial support and inheritance, you are exerting control over them. Sure, you can talk all you want on public radio about how you're doing it out of love or whatever, but the objective truth is that it is a form of control because you are discouraging certain behaviors and encouraging ones that you want. Fine, but parents aren't gods with perfect morals, so I find it horribly irresponsible to enable this mother when no one knows exactly who she is, what she has done, and why her son ran away.
Parents that call a financial show for advice on their runaway son...I dunno. They aren't even connected enough to have the conversation about drug use. I agree with so many others something else is going on.
Moved out when I was 17. Eventually cut them, my family, out of my life. If I had to do it over again, I would have cut them out sooner.
Same. I did not pick up until I was in my 20s. I wish I had come go that awakening sooner. But better late than never.
Same, 17 and now 64. My father died a multimillionaire and left us nothing.
Be glad he gone ! Pray for him and move on!!
Countess Ratzass if you cut ties with the family, why would you expect him to leave you money. So you never cared to amend the relationship but you want his money??
Travs Is stupid
Long story.
At 18 years old no child just leaves for no reason. Most 18 year olds aren't equipped to do so. He was planning this for a while likely due to a toxic household. I did the same thing right after I turned 19. Packed a suitcase left and didn't let my family know I left until I was already in another state. One of the best things I've ever done. Me and my parents are now on good terms and I doubt that would have ever happened if I didn't leave
My mother was an abusive alcoholic, a control freak, and a narcissist, whom drank herself to death when I was younger. I'm glad she's gone. She was also an accomplished attorney, and knew how to present herself as if she is the reasonable, responsible party, which is also not hard to do when the other person is a 12 year old. Alcohol always wins in the end though, and she was a useless shell of a person in the last few years of her life. This kid is likely escaping from a bad mother, and I wish him the best. College is useless for most people, and men especially are better off developing valuable skills with market demand, which outside of STEM, colleges aren't going to facilitate well.
Woman did not say what the parents did to cause him to leave. He's always been a straight A's student; that tells u he's disciplined, responsible and very reasonable, and will not take this action without you provoking him. Can easily sense her overbearing autocratic nature from the way she talked. And of course, hillbilly will back her up! Many parents are too arrogant to evolve from being dictatorial, to being friendly and reasoning with their kids, as they grow older. That's exactly what's going on. I hope he does very well outside so he never needs to go back home.
Or he was disciplined and then he got into drugs.
We don’t know both sides of the story, but that also doesn’t mean we should just automatically assume the son is 100% in the right either.
Thomas Borisov bro we can’t tell anything from her voice except that she was upset. You’re adding bizarre meaning for no reason. I don’t know if you have had a bad experience but it doesn’t make sense to just add weird meaning to others.
@@grantwilliams630 if it was just a drug thing then he wouldn't leave with no contact like that. He would try to stay and milk any kind of money he could to pay for his addiction. He would at least try with his siblings. But he had no contact with any of them, and also when he snuck back in the house he didn't steal money, just his stuff. The evidence does not point to drugs
Leaving home and never going back at 16 was the best thing I ever did in my life.
I'm almost 40.
We don't own our children.
They own themselves.
I agree that she should cut him off financially..
But, this... "how do I move forward?" Query says that she didn't know her son.
And it also says she's GUILTY and SHAMEFUL.
I apologize for asking, but do you have connection with your parents now?
Maybe she meant that she is emotionally hurt and needing healing when she said "How do I move forward?"
@@mahaonexpress my mom died 17 years ago. I have my dads phone number.. and he has mine.. but no.. the only way I'll be able to perform at his bedside when he's old is if I stay away from him while he's still healthy.
You dont look 40 at all, stunning
gamer Guy thank you very much... I needed that confidence boost.. feeling out of shape today
As someone who’s gonna move out at eighteen and cut my family out, there’s something that they parents aren’t talking about. They sound like extreme narcissists who remind me of my own terrible family
Lol. Everyone is a narcissist except you 🤣 you have everyone diagnosed as a narcissist and you're not even 18 years old. Too funny. Good luck see how that works for you.
These two are blaming the son!! Ask what would lead him to leave, the answer is usually not a simple one!!! I pray their son will be well!! Mercy
Kid was smart to bounce at 18. I let my parents control me until I was 22 when I got a job on the other side of the country.
Yikes as soon as I heard the “they call us the bad house” this call turned into something way different that how it began...
The mother is talking about how the son just ran away due to a difference in “morals”, yeah what kid doesn’t... she’s not telling the full story.
Also she “suspects” there’s substance abuse because grades dropped. Seems very disconnected and is very telling as to why he ran away.
These parents are too worried about the split of their will instead of figuring out what went wrong on both ends. If this is how her counselling session go, nothing will ever come of it.
Gabe Clendenning And if there is substance abuse why did the parents create an environment where abusing substances seemed to be something the kid needed to do?
Jarod Vautrot I mean you can’t blame all substance abuse issues in parents...there is a point to which parents can only know so much but the mother response seemed more out of oblivion than of concern or knowledge
Way to concerned about a will with their measly money that probably just lost 40% in a well diversified portfolio. She sounds like a spaz of a mother and when she doesn’t get her way she loses her mind. Oh and don’t forget the spineless father that needed the police to go get his own son
Imagine her counselor making progress with their just to come into the next meeting, “well Dave Ramsey said I’m right” 🤣
Sounds like the parents are narcissists. Sounds just like a narcissist.
I left home after I graduated high school at 17. I was a great student with no interest in parties and all the drugs and alcohol that were part of that scene. My parents weren't interested in my life and future but one thing was clear I was on my own at 18. The one thing they did was finally signing the permission slip to get a driver's license. I had been working since I was 15 and was able to save 20G but my parents always thought I was not responsible. I was hungry a lot but I found a way to go to college. I don't know how I did it but I completed university and found a great job that with hard work gave me a great career. He can do it on his own. I think there's more going on here.....if they love him let him go and support him...don't try and hold him hostage..that's not love.
Glad you have had the determination and drive to make good choices! Congratulations on your success. You have an admirable testimony of independently building a secure future.
Also if someone is so eager to leave their home there’s always more to be said about his home situation
Yeah probably a strong-willed child who can't stand his parents boundaries or rules.
I find that parents can get too controlling of their kid, & start to run a dictatorship in the house. Then they say things like "if you don't like it, get out". Then when the kid does leave, they're shocked
I find that kids these days are far more immature than previous generations and adolescence is a hard stage to go through and so they blame their parents for everything. How do you think they got the name Snowflake
Parenting is a dictatorship by nature. I parent who isn't a dictator is doing parenting wrong
@@formerfundienowfree4235 being 18 you are not a kid. Lady, there is nothing wrong with leaving the house at 18 and being on your own. The son has nobody to prove to and doesn't need anyone's affirmations or sense of respect. Learn to respect differences in opinions and to have an honest conversation with your children as you would with a friend or coworker. At the age of 12 or 13 kids stop listening to their parents; maybe you just smoke too much crack or something but you should remember what being a kid is like for 5 minutes.
Wrong kids are much more mature today@@formerfundienowfree4235
@@Poopticklingbandit At 18 years old, you are still a kid. They just had to pick an age for someone to become legally an adult but just because you're an adult legally doesn't mean you're one psychologically. The law and biology/chemistry/physics don't always line up.
I moved out and stop talking to my parents when I was 23 because they were *toxic*
21 I’m just waiting on my time. Abuse is most of the time a cause for extreme situations where you want to disconnect w parents
Me too
As someone who left the family home as soon as possible at 18 years old, and was raised by a house of narcissists, I cannot watch this fully through. How they missed her red flags that give her away is beyond me, but I guess that's why narcissists exist - they're master manipulators. I hope that child finds peace and healing in his life.
Hes not a child anymore because hes 18
@@Faze742 We’re all always someone’s child. And just because they’ve been alive 18 years doesn’t mean their psyche was able to develop to that of an adults. Psychological abuse is very real and can lock people in childlike states of mind well into adulthood.
@@tmr5932 yeah hes some ones child but at the end of the day if your 18 and older your legally an adult
@@Faze742 you clearly don’t get the point and are hung up on the number 18, which is an arbitrary number, btw.
@@tmr5932 agreeeed
It’s mothers like these that will keep the field of counseling aliveeeee.
Too many assumptions being made here to take this seriously.
David Oberle exactly
Best comment so far...
Like yours
Parent: As long as you live under this house, you live by my rules, don’t have any privacy, and will listen to what I say. I ain’t concerned with being your friend.
Me: I haven’t spoken to my mother in 10 years since I moved out. Welcome to your future.
No children leaves "suddenly" and "without reason" a safe home. And other people saying YOU are the BAD Home ?And why are the parents in different Therapy ? Mam what is wrong in your family ?
With these types of stories, I always suspect I'm not getting the full story. He left and doesn't want to come back and you have no idea why? You lived with him for 18 years, why do you think? "Our house, our rules" and all that, but if those are too arbitrary and unreasonable, that is a good way to get the son to no longer be in your house.
To be clear, it is always a tragedy whenever there is alienization between parent and child, but I suspect that if we heard his side of it, we would get a different account. I also suspect that the second he decided to cut contact, he accepted that he likely would not be given anything more from the parents, in their wills or otherwise. This is just a sad story and one that likely has no winners.
son, if you see this please tell us your story. i don’t believe this is the full story.
The real question is, what made this child run away in the first place. A child doesn't just get up and decide to run away, something is wrong within that household...
Dominique Simmons you’d be very wrong about that.
Nic E how is he VERY wrong about this? I’m curious about the VERY
Yeah, as a Social Worker I want to know what was going on in the home.
Exactly
Maybe he cant handle being told no??
I left my parents behind when I was 17 and I am 28 now. I haven't seen or said a word to them since the day I left and my life became 10000000% better without them. They was horrible people who turned my older brothers into drug addicts selling them their pain killers when they was teens, they are older than me and never recovered, they was extremely abusive. I feel no sympathy for this woman and I hope the child the best in life. You can hear the resent in this womans voice such a horrible mother