SHE SHOULD START ASKING THE GIRL IF SHE WON THE LOTTERY WHAT WOULD SHE DO WITH THE MONEY, TALK ABOUT HOW SHE DOESNT WANT TO GO BROKE LIKE MOST PEOPLE HAVE! Talk to her about starting INCOME STREAMS AND BUSINESSES!!!!
Why did the parents add $20k into an existing large college fund, then pay for her college separately? And then why does the daughter have an extra $3k student loan?! This makes ZERO sense!!!
She had the college fund from grandma, why did the parents pay for college? Had they honored grandma's wish, the money would have been used for college and spent. Mom did not honor grandma's wishes then and is not honoring them now.
That’s a good way to look at it. They could have used Grandma’s money for college as intended, put the money they spent on college into a fund with the intention of giving it to the daughter someday, but maintain ownership until then. Then they wouldn’t be in this dilemma.
It seems like they don't give the daughter any responsibility at all. They treat her like a kid and don't even allow her to be responsible. Of course she is gonna stay a kid
Yeah. Don't know why the parents paid for college separate from the money that was already set aside for it. When it comes down to it, if the money belongs to the daughter, then legally the daughter has the right to waste it if she wants.
Why would parents pay for college when there was a college fund? This caller might be the main problem. She sounds like a control freak. There is more to this call
*this* cause she even said her husband put 20k into the fund too. on top of paying for her college? makes no sense haha doesn't seem like the kids got the problem..
May not have used her real name - they often say if it's a sensitive situation people can change their name and location. Ken Coleman talks about this a lot.
What I don't understand is, if this money was intended for her college why didn't they use it for her college instead on them pay for her college. The mother probably wouldn't be dealing with this dilemma if the money had been used for the purpose it was designed for.
@@hollystiener16 Or, the daughter had the full rights to all the money at 18 and mom would have to let her know that and mom would then have zero say or control over the money. Mom didn't want the daughter to know that when she turned 18.
I was going to write the exact same comment. It seems pretty cut and dry to me as they should have a sit down with her explain how the feel and they need to make sure that if she screws up with this money...THAT'S IT she's is on her own and don't come crawling back to us because we will NOT bail you out.
@@stevenporter863 yes but she hasn't earned any of the money. Sounds like she's broken several moral codes and promises and can't hold a job and probably an addict. I'd say transfer the money to the grandmother's account, it was her money in the 1st place and if this deceiving daughter wants it, she'd have to take grandma to court.
And sometimes they don't learn. Then you get they joy of watching them waste what you saved for their benefit. 25 years old. College grad. If the money is technically hers, make her move out of your home and let her know she won't move back in. Suggest that she grow up and get a job or start a business. Tell her you love her and give her the money. 25. She is an adult.
I mostly, but you let them fail with 10k, not 130k. A 10k mess is really bad, but a 130k mess could do more harm than a lesson can fix. At best she would figure out that she would be financially secure for a while. At worst, a lump like this could actually kill her.
I love how Dave is basically saying "you're breaking the law, but I would probably do that too, lets legally involve the grandmother to also take place in this illegal activity so we can morally strong arm her so not sue because it's the grandma"
How about mom honor the Grandmother’s wishes, and follow the law correctly? It’s not mom’s money. She has no right to keep it, regardless of what the daughter does.
The fact that they're hiding money from a 25 year old, and didn't use that fund to pay for college the way it was intended, makes me immediately suspicious that Mom & Dad spent from that account themselves and are afraid of being caught.
That money was for college she went to college paid for it not like she hiding it just waiting to give it to her. Plus she said they put more money into it too. So what probably happen is the mom had the money from grandma but end up having enough money to pay for it and thought oh this be a great gift for her so she can buy a house etc.
@@bobberry1463 well at this point the money is their daughter's, was intended for the daughter from the grandmother. The mother is breaking the law and stealing from the daughter at this point
No….I think they are protecting their daughter from her self….she is still young, student loans with no classes taken, spending lots of money….I think mom is playing this correctly for now….she could attend a cheap college…work and pay off debt….and mom could put this money into a cd to help her later on…I would do the same
We can only assume this lady is telling the truth. Probably more to this story. Why would mom and dad pay for her education and not touch the fund that was designed to pay for the daughter’s education.
Obviously so she can have a nest egg for her future and they had the oney to do so. Plus the money accumulated even more earnings for all those extra years.
Unemployed 25 year old with a college degree doesn’t mean the kid is a mess. The mom gave no solid reasons the kid can’t handle the money. Too many unanswered questions to assume anyone should be disappointed in the girl, but Dave is Dave and likes to assume she’s a “disappointment”... “oh my gosh”
At the start Mom said the girl had acquired different moral values than her parents. That’s a pretty loaded statement, I think. Maybe the parents are strict fundamentalists and the girl no longer is. You never know. But it sounds to me like that’s one of the biggest issues Mom has but Dave didn’t pay attention to that . John Delony sure would have!
Mom is doing this from love. You want your kids to swim on their own just like you want them to be responsible on their own. 125k could lead to a bunch of problems for an irresponsible person.
If she's misbehaving like she is, then let the relationship be over until she changes. It's not her money if she's not morally obligated and blows up all of it on drugs and substances.
@@Primitive_Code since the money is in an account under her name, I'm pretty sure it is her money by the letter of the law. Morality has nothing to do with it, since those are subjective, and banks have none. You lose all control when put the money in these types of accounts. Expensive lesson for the Parents / Grandparents.
This call is highkey suspicious and doesn't add up. The parents paying for college and the daughter having a loan when the grandma set this fund up when she was a baby for college?? BUT taking everything at face value, the mom and Dave are wrong imo. There was no mention of the daughter on drugs or doing anything physically harmful to herself or others that would justify holding the funds. She just is doing what most kids do and should do, finding their own in life. She is unemployed and asking for it to pay off debt. Give her her money.
Give her access to the money. It’s hers. You failed as a parent paying for everything for her. Also bonus you’ve ruined your relationship with her by lying to her about it her whole life.
@@eckankar7756 who knows the problem would have been solved if it was. She’s probably a very controlling mother. She’s rather despicable for hiding this.
@@Michael-fh9lu if they would have given her access to her own money when she went off to college and said this is what you get to go through school, they wouldn’t be in this situation. So yes they failed despite having an opportunity most dream of instead it’s a complete mess and their relationship is going to be ruined over it.
It’s not yours to give or not give, I don’t care what you paid for in the past. You have to own up to your decisions too. You paid for college and you raised this daughter. She is 25 and the money is hers legally. It’s time to see in action how well you did raising her.
The money is under her name the caller said. It should be legally the daughter's since she is over 18. It's not really a mother's option to control the money (at lease legally).
@@stevenporter863 I know that, and yes the money should be handed over, but I really would like to hear the daughter’s perspective because I feel as if something is being left out. That’s all.
@@stevenporter863 I bet the daughter has lost religion. She can easily pay off her debt with the money her mom is withholding, so it's not really a debt!!!
There is a lot of projecting here. Parents paid for her college despite there being a fund for it. This feels more like a little financial abuse on the mom's part. She wants to have the power to continue to control aspects of her adult daughter's life she has no right doing so. Completely glassed over by Dave and thrown aside by the mom, she lost her job. She has a college degree and was theoretically employed in that field. She can get a new one hopefully soon in this environment, but bills need to get paid. This fund can help her find the right job vs the next open one.
I know why she won’t listen to you. Every time she ran into financial trouble you bailed her out. So she expects to get help without the lecture. Give her her money and tell her I’m done if you blow through this don’t ask me for anything more. Allow that child to grow up.
@@saulgoodman2018 well you can read between the lines can't you, she said her grandmother once gave her 5000 to pay off debts. She now have another 8000 worth of debt. So she has likely racked up more debt since her grandmother paid her debts off. . So clearly has not learned. Has she.
@@reykennedy5716 It's not about an "entitlement" mentality. It's that the daughter has legal title to the money and the mother is preventing her from exercising her legal rights. The daughter has a legal claim against her mother right now in all likelihood. The longer mom holds onto this, the deeper into trouble she wades. The daughter will find out about it eventually. So it's best to simply do what the law requires and say it's up to the daughter now. Mom has no legal right to it any more.
Parents paid for college with their own funds thinking they could keep the money! Found out that legally they cannot. I don’t think daughter is the problem here!
This money was never theirs. Wasn’t earned by them and never intended for them. The woman is 25 years old! She is grown!! Give her the money and who cares about the rest. Should have instilled the values in her much earlier!
this is crooked.. although she can't handle money.. it's her money. You gotta give it to her and let her fall... but don't bail her out when she blows through it!!!
@@bighands69 yes, you are correct, but in the end if she does not give her the money, the daughter will hate her and it will be a lifetime resentment. Since she is calling DR she has revealed that she is unable to have a reasonable conversation.. Personally I would give the money back to the grandmother and let HER deal with it.
@@anniesshenanigans3815 I do not think the mother is really keeping the money. They daughters sounds like she does not know what she is doing. The daughters can easily go claim the money if she wants it. It is all the daughters name.
WHERE is the daughter living? I'm thinking this 25 year old is still living at home. I'd give her the password AFTER a discussion of why she is leaving the house (this month) and will be responsible for her own life from this point forward. Can't figure out why the parents paid for her college with this college money sitting here.
11k is not huge debt. It’s her money mom is committing a crime. I hope the daughter Sues and the bank should be able to give her access to her money. I’d sue the bank to.
Something is not right here with the mom's story and Dave is not picking up on it. He assumes she is doing right, but could be very controlling and very narcissistic. The answer is simple, this is not your money mom and your opinion does not really matter. Furthermore, you did not have to pay for college or you could have used some or all of the grandmother's money to pay for college. Definitely would like to hear the side of the 25 year old as well. Control issues is what I hear coming from mom.
The mother is concerned for her daughter and is probably not admitting that there is a party lifestyle going on here. That daughter may end up paying a price that is greater than the money.
I have a feeling that's why granny didn't put in a 529 that the parents would control. There's a reason she put it in her granddaughter's name to begin with.
Maybe to get control over here. Alot of parents are willing to spend money on their children just to control them. They will do stuff just for control sake( not all parents are like this)
Dave Ramsey is wrong. A 25 year old isn't a child. Mother needs to let go and legally give her daughter the funds. Mom failed. Deal with the consequences.
Yeah, they really glossed over that. She’s stealing from her grown adult daughter. Whether or not her daughter has the same “value system” (which probably just refers to politics or religion) doesn’t matter. It’s illegal and it’s wrong
Parents really struggle with this issue. It's not your money, you can't hide it from them their whole life. You HAVE to teach your kids about money, ESPECIALLY if they are going to receive a large amount. This is 100% on the parents. Do the responsible thing
By keeping this money from her while she is struggling you also give her no reason to trust you. Your daughter has an income problem like the rest of us and could use the money. With that being said, as parents you failed to financially educate your daughter in a way that would have prevented this. People in their 20's make terrible decisions as a whole. Think about the timeline: She was fresh out of college at the beginning of the pandemic and probably has some low paying job right now.
This shouldn't even be a debate. She's an adult, the money is in her name. It's hers to spend, even if she does it foolishly. This is not her parents decision to make, it's theft. And why did they even let her take out a loan knowing there's thousands of dollars sitting in an account to pay for school?
If I am the parent, I would take out the price of her college that they paid already and give her the rest. It's a little late to try to instill discipline and responsibility at the age of 25.
No, that wasn't the deal. Parents agreed to pay for daughter's college, nothing was said about parents loaning to daughter. That's the daughter's money and the parents need to let go.
@@NIN_Mase Maybe it is in her name. Maybe the grandma is still on the account, since she put the money into it in the first place. Grandma needs to reclaim it.
This mom is playing with fire. She needs to disclose and give the money to her daughter who IS the rightful owner. I suspect there is some manipulation in the mix.
Wait, the grandmother's alive and she didn't think to have them all come together to discuss the funds and how they HAVEN'T been used for the granddaughter's college expenses??! Honestly this sounds more like control and manipulation tactics if anything.
I’m with Dave, stuck in the middle. Give the money back to granny. Hopefully granny repays the parents for the tuition expenses and gives the rest to the granddaughter, wishing her the best. But truth is, mom isn’t being completely honest here. There’s more to it somewhere.
If your parents stole six figures from you, would you still be stuck in the middle? There’s no “well they stole, but it was for a good reason,” theft is theft and they’re in the wrong, period, the end.
she is of age, the money is hers, GIVE HER THE MONEY and make sure she knows that she will not get another cent from her parents and to spend wisely. I love how the parents are trying to look out for her but let her do and/or fall on her financial face and just sit back and see what happens
To me the mom sounds severely in the wrong here, why did the money not initially go to her like it was intended to most likely to pay for her education rather than the parents paying for it and holding this money over her head now...
If it’s legally the daughters she’s committing a crime by withholding it. I’d get a lawyer and file charges if I were the daughter, if mom doesn’t hand it over. The caller hasn’t presented anything to say the daughter is the problem. I think mom is a control freak. I Hope the daughter sues
8k debt at 25 is nothing for this generation. At that age I had closer to 15 plus unpaid student loans, and the situation is worse now than it was then. The world isn't the same as it was when this mom was 25. Maybe if she could have a conversation with her daughter she'd know that. I hope her daughter hears this and gets the money she should've had years ago. Imagine the different life-shaping decisions she could've made at such a critical time in her life and career. This mom just knows she has leverage and is using it - nothing caring about that.
And that is a huge problem that you think that $8k is nothing for this generation. She won't work. SHe will be perptually in debt for the rest of her life
It's a problem that $8k is nothing for this generation. It's a problem that they've been brought into a world where it's so difficult not to live in debt. But you get about 12 years to instill some good values in a child and then if you've done that well you might get a few more, and this lady seems to have fumbled that and now wants to blame the consequences on her daughter while breaking the law and denying her money that could really help her situation. There are a lot of problems here.
It's her money and she is an adult. She is not some 18-20 year old kid. Sit down with her, give her advice, and then hand her the account. They need to immediately hand it over. Wow.
How about put some accountability back on the parents for not teaching her how to manage money. Why are we putting all blame on the child who again is a whole ADULT! They failed to parent effectively and are now punishing her for it. Shame on them!
If this girl knew anything of where this account sits, all she has to do is call support and ask them to reset the password. This will get messy fast and i think they need to sit down, be transparent, give her the money, and warn her “when it’s gone it’s gone, dont be stupid. We love you”
@@saulgoodman2018 Based off what her mom stated that she has spending problems... It's possible to get student loans even though her parents paid for college.
I realized that the secret to wealth is saving for a better investment. I always tell myself you don't need that new car yet and that mindset helps me make more investing. I invested 50 grand in TSLA, NVDA, ALB stocks with the help of my F,A Rita Wildrin Mora and made 200 grand, but guess what? I put it back and traded with her again and now I'm rounding up close to a half-million.
Convoluted situation! It seems clear that the money legally needs to be relinquished to the daughter right away. I'd have the grandmother have a heart-to-heart with her granddaughter and guide her as best as she can in that conversation because it was her gift initially. Then both parents and grandparents should make it clear that she will not be getting any more funds in the future and pray she does something responsible with it.
she should have received the money at 18 to actually pay for college. PS: is the grandma complicit on keeping the fund a secret? Why didn't she tell her about it? I bet they have spend some of it.
why is mom calling. this is between the alive grandma and the girl. Mom, regardless of her concerns, is meddling with the financial agreements between two other adults. Mom should direct her concerns to grandma, and if grandma sides with the girl, mom just has to get out of it. The biggest issue isn't the lawsuits, its the retaliation when the girl gets the money.
If Grandma takes the money back from an account in the name of the daughter, that is theft, and incredibly illegal. Holding the money is mildly illegal, the only option legally is to give her the money. The daughter basically just needs a lawyer, and they to be giving her the access in s day.
For those wondering why the parents paid 20,000 for college instead of using the college fund, mother probably didn't want the daughter to have access to the trust and the only way to control that was to not let the daughter know it existed. Mother needs to stop controlling her kid(s).
If an estate lawyer did what mom has done, they would be disbarred, face several fines, face a lawsuit and looking at prison time. Surprised Dave actually agreed with any of this, it's a violation of fiduciary responsibility. This video will probably be removed at some point in the future.
My Uncle hid money that was given to his daughter through a will. She got $125K and it grew to about $200K. Then my cousin had a really bad burn accident and had no insurance... the hospital bill was over $1million and it was never paid. Years later, she got married and was given the money and they bought a house in Boulder CO. My Uncle is VERY wealthy... so it was never about keeping her money.
Changing people by shaming them and making them feel terrible doesn’t ALWAYS work but add it in yes. Also pray over her she’s going to try and be rebellious, it happened but pray over it and keep redirecting her in the right direction with love and support and knowledge
I thought so too. Mom kept that money from daughter and paid daughter's tuition in an installment plan with her own money so she can keep daughter's money lol. Greedy mom. Never trust people like this even if they are your own parents.
No...it doesn't sound like that, they put in some, and currently hold the password=the ability to spend. And they haven't....instead broadcasting this fact to the nation. Ensuring they'd much more likely be caught. No they're just afraid to let go.
Not once did mom say that her daughter was doing anything shameful and didn’t deserve the money. She said she had different value systems. That could mean anything. She could’ve gone out and got a tattoo and that could be what the mom is talking about but either way she’s 25 and you can’t control her anymore. She’s RECENTLY unemployed. She didn’t say she’s never had a job or can’t keep a job. I was unemployed too for a couple of months in 2018 while I looked for another job. That doesn’t make me a bad or irresponsible person.
Whatever money was given to your daughter that is not under your control is not yours. Protecting an adult from herself isn't teaching her anything. If she fails, then oh, well. She works in fast food. If you can get your $20k back then do so, but the other relative's contribution is hers. Dave is correct.
This is a prime example of why when you have kids or grandkids, you do not EVER put money in an account like this with no stipulations. You have no idea what might happen 18-20 years later. If you're gonna do this, put it in a trust with strings on it! They have to do X,Y,Z to get money. They can only use the money for P,D,Q. If they don't like that the money will default back to you.
having understanding parents for the children is half the battle won in life. children trying to understand their parent's struggle and being able to give support in their time of need is also very important. this is how a family must function
Her grandmother gave her the money to pay for college, yet the parents paid for her education and are now withholding her own money from their daughter. Not the wisest parents.
This is ridiculous. Give the girl HER money. She could put that money towards her debt, be debt free and put the rest towards a home once she gets a job and is on her feet 🤦🏻♀️
Before giving the money to the daughter, mom and dad need to reimburse themselves for what they paid for college out of their own pocket. There really isn't $130k there, it's $130k less what parents paid out for the daughter's college education.
The comment is old but since she 25 now and the money is hers they don’t have the right to withdrawal anymore. The money they paid would be considered a gift and all 130k is hers
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SHE SHOULD START ASKING THE GIRL IF SHE WON THE LOTTERY WHAT WOULD SHE DO WITH THE MONEY, TALK ABOUT HOW SHE DOESNT WANT TO GO BROKE LIKE MOST PEOPLE HAVE! Talk to her about starting INCOME STREAMS AND BUSINESSES!!!!
@@aisha-3857😊😊
Why did the parents add $20k into an existing large college fund, then pay for her college separately? And then why does the daughter have an extra $3k student loan?! This makes ZERO sense!!!
It is odd isn't it.
Yeah I found this strange as well
Started the loan for school but dropped out
No one ever asked what she does, what her degree was in or even if she was a good kid??? Who is financially responsible at 21...
@@aisha-3857 she shouldn’t need a loan with all the money saved up specially for her college.
She had the college fund from grandma, why did the parents pay for college? Had they honored grandma's wish, the money would have been used for college and spent. Mom did not honor grandma's wishes then and is not honoring them now.
doubt she was telling the truth about all the details
That’s a good way to look at it. They could have used Grandma’s money for college as intended, put the money they spent on college into a fund with the intention of giving it to the daughter someday, but maintain ownership until then. Then they wouldn’t be in this dilemma.
It seems like they don't give the daughter any responsibility at all. They treat her like a kid and don't even allow her to be responsible. Of course she is gonna stay a kid
Yeah. Don't know why the parents paid for college separate from the money that was already set aside for it. When it comes down to it, if the money belongs to the daughter, then legally the daughter has the right to waste it if she wants.
@@lawv804 They may have felt it was their responsibility, not Grandma’s.
Why would parents pay for college when there was a college fund?
This caller might be the main problem. She sounds like a control freak. There is more to this call
I agree
That was weird to me too. If they'd done that, this wouldn't be a problem.
Agree
*this* cause she even said her husband put 20k into the fund too. on top of paying for her college? makes no sense haha doesn't seem like the kids got the problem..
100% agree. She is a control freak. Let the kid make mistakes and mess up and learn from it.
Mad respect for this mom to bank on her daughter not hearing this 😂
She said that she refuses to listen to Dave. Mom knows her daughter.
I did not expect a WSB degenerate to watch Dave Ramsey 😂 for real though your videos are funny Mr. Kamikaze
Daughter needs some theta gang in her life
the 25 year old doesnt strike me as a ramsey listener ;)
May not have used her real name - they often say if it's a sensitive situation people can change their name and location. Ken Coleman talks about this a lot.
What I don't understand is, if this money was intended for her college why didn't they use it for her college instead on them pay for her college. The mother probably wouldn't be dealing with this dilemma if the money had been used for the purpose it was designed for.
they had the money to pay for school and they wanted her to have a nest egg, which I think is super sweet
@@hollystiener16 Or, the daughter had the full rights to all the money at 18 and mom would have to let her know that and mom would then have zero say or control over the money. Mom didn't want the daughter to know that when she turned 18.
Give her the money. She’s an adult and will learn from her mistakes when she blows it.
Give her? It is her (the audlt daughter's) money.
I would give her partial.
I was going to write the exact same comment. It seems pretty cut and dry to me as they should have a sit down with her explain how the feel and they need to make sure that if she screws up with this money...THAT'S IT she's is on her own and don't come crawling back to us because we will NOT bail you out.
@@TimeisUp22 Partial? It is her money and her account. How about your bank only gives you 'partial' of your balance in the name of protecting you.
@@stevenporter863 yes but she hasn't earned any of the money. Sounds like she's broken several moral codes and promises and can't hold a job and probably an addict. I'd say transfer the money to the grandmother's account, it was her money in the 1st place and if this deceiving daughter wants it, she'd have to take grandma to court.
Sometimes we have to let our children fail so they can learn the hard way.
Totally agree.
And sometimes they don't learn. Then you get they joy of watching them waste what you saved for their benefit. 25 years old. College grad. If the money is technically hers, make her move out of your home and let her know she won't move back in. Suggest that she grow up and get a job or start a business. Tell her you love her and give her the money. 25. She is an adult.
Boomer parenting is a failure
I mostly, but you let them fail with 10k, not 130k. A 10k mess is really bad, but a 130k mess could do more harm than a lesson can fix. At best she would figure out that she would be financially secure for a while. At worst, a lump like this could actually kill her.
@@jjjackson5183 AMEN TO THAT
It’s the daughters money. That simple. Legally hers…
I love how Dave is basically saying "you're breaking the law, but I would probably do that too, lets legally involve the grandmother to also take place in this illegal activity so we can morally strong arm her so not sue because it's the grandma"
It's her money she's 25, you can't keep her money from her because she doesn't share your values.
Her money.
She's an adult.
Not your choice to make.
Exactly, it's her money. No legal difference if the is 25 or 85.
This is a form of control. It's her money. If she blows it, it's her fault.
exactly!! let the daughter be the adult sometime parents still want to control their adult child decisions and life choices
Hope the daughter sues since it’s in her name
How about mom honor the Grandmother’s wishes, and follow the law correctly? It’s not mom’s money. She has no right to keep it, regardless of what the daughter does.
The fact that they're hiding money from a 25 year old, and didn't use that fund to pay for college the way it was intended, makes me immediately suspicious that Mom & Dad spent from that account themselves and are afraid of being caught.
That money was for college she went to college paid for it not like she hiding it just waiting to give it to her. Plus she said they put more money into it too.
So what probably happen is the mom had the money from grandma but end up having enough money to pay for it and thought oh this be a great gift for her so she can buy a house etc.
They should have used grandma’s money first.
@@bobberry1463 well at this point the money is their daughter's, was intended for the daughter from the grandmother. The mother is breaking the law and stealing from the daughter at this point
there is more to this. Sounds like kiddo is still at home with 8k in debt for a second time. Time to hand them the account and kick them out.
No….I think they are protecting their daughter from her self….she is still young, student loans with no classes taken, spending lots of money….I think mom is playing this correctly for now….she could attend a cheap college…work and pay off debt….and mom could put this money into a cd to help her later on…I would do the same
We can only assume this lady is telling the truth. Probably more to this story.
Why would mom and dad pay for her education and not touch the fund that was designed to pay for the daughter’s education.
Probably to not pay taxes on the gains.
So she would have money to start her adult life.
They may have wanted her to have it for a house.
Obviously so she can have a nest egg for her future and they had the oney to do so. Plus the money accumulated even more earnings for all those extra years.
Unemployed 25 year old with a college degree doesn’t mean the kid is a mess. The mom gave no solid reasons the kid can’t handle the money. Too many unanswered questions to assume anyone should be disappointed in the girl, but Dave is Dave and likes to assume she’s a “disappointment”... “oh my gosh”
Did we listen to the same call? Her life sounds like a mess and the debt reflects that
Uhh she's definitely irresponsible with money.
@@dextermorgan4172 she was raised to be irresponsible.
At the start Mom said the girl had acquired different moral values than her parents. That’s a pretty loaded statement, I think. Maybe the parents are strict fundamentalists and the girl no longer is. You never know. But it sounds to me like that’s one of the biggest issues Mom has but Dave didn’t pay attention to that . John Delony sure would have!
She’s in credit card debt. Bingo
Mom is a piece of work here. I'd like to hear the daughter's story.
Exactly!
Yeah I would too, but daughter had someone pay for her school and still racked up debt and an apparently fraudulent small student loan. So idk
@@rickm6076 super confusing, it's half the story for sure, right? SMH
Mom is doing this from love. You want your kids to swim on their own just like you want them to be responsible on their own. 125k could lead to a bunch of problems for an irresponsible person.
@@pwells10 are you the caller? It's not the caller's money.
It's her money, you don't give it to her, when she finds out about it, your relationship is completely over. Have fun with that
If she's misbehaving like she is, then let the relationship be over until she changes. It's not her money if she's not morally obligated and blows up all of it on drugs and substances.
@@Primitive_Code since the money is in an account under her name, I'm pretty sure it is her money by the letter of the law. Morality has nothing to do with it, since those are subjective, and banks have none. You lose all control when put the money in these types of accounts. Expensive lesson for the Parents / Grandparents.
This call is highkey suspicious and doesn't add up. The parents paying for college and the daughter having a loan when the grandma set this fund up when she was a baby for college??
BUT taking everything at face value, the mom and Dave are wrong imo. There was no mention of the daughter on drugs or doing anything physically harmful to herself or others that would justify holding the funds. She just is doing what most kids do and should do, finding their own in life. She is unemployed and asking for it to pay off debt. Give her her money.
Yup! Let the daughter spend it all, and I sure hope she does! And hits rock bottom Then realizes her down payment to a house is gone.
Exactly. Mom sounds messed up.
Give her access to the money. It’s hers. You failed as a parent paying for everything for her. Also bonus you’ve ruined your relationship with her by lying to her about it her whole life.
If the money was from grandma for college why wasn't that spent as grandma wished?
@@eckankar7756 who knows the problem would have been solved if it was. She’s probably a very controlling mother. She’s rather despicable for hiding this.
I absolutely agree with you!!
@@Michael-fh9lu if they would have given her access to her own money when she went off to college and said this is what you get to go through school, they wouldn’t be in this situation. So yes they failed despite having an opportunity most dream of instead it’s a complete mess and their relationship is going to be ruined over it.
There is no question, it’s her money. Keeping it from her Is unethical. What she does with it it’s up to her.
If it’s in the daughter’s name, that’s absolutely illegal for them to hide that from her
It’s not yours to give or not give, I don’t care what you paid for in the past.
You have to own up to your decisions too. You paid for college and you raised this daughter. She is 25 and the money is hers legally. It’s time to see in action how well you did raising her.
How much was college
I would love to hear the daughter’s side to this story.
Yeah i think it would be interesting...
The money is under her name the caller said. It should be legally the daughter's since she is over 18. It's not really a mother's option to control the money (at lease legally).
@@stevenporter863 I know that, and yes the money should be handed over, but I really would like to hear the daughter’s perspective because I feel as if something is being left out. That’s all.
@@daluckyprincess Yes. Not getting the whole story.
@@stevenporter863 I bet the daughter has lost religion.
She can easily pay off her debt with the money her mom is withholding, so it's not really a debt!!!
If you ever want a relationship to continue, give her the money it’s not yours to keep.
There is a lot of projecting here. Parents paid for her college despite there being a fund for it.
This feels more like a little financial abuse on the mom's part. She wants to have the power to continue to control aspects of her adult daughter's life she has no right doing so.
Completely glassed over by Dave and thrown aside by the mom, she lost her job. She has a college degree and was theoretically employed in that field. She can get a new one hopefully soon in this environment, but bills need to get paid. This fund can help her find the right job vs the next open one.
Who knows on the reliability of the caller. Mom/dad could have paid for college out of this fund.
Yeah I was kinda wondering about that! If it's a college fund, and they even put in 20k, why was college paid for elsewhere????
"Financial abuse" for paying for her college
Her degree was probably Classics and the "job" was part time at a coffee shop
@@juggernautAA12 Wow. Now who is projecting.
I know why she won’t listen to you. Every time she ran into financial trouble you bailed her out. So she expects to get help without the lecture. Give her her money and tell her I’m done if you blow through this don’t ask me for anything more. Allow that child to grow up.
@@saulgoodman2018 that's giving her money btw
The grandmother gave her money to pay off debt.
So she still didn't learn.
@@saulgoodman2018 well you can read between the lines can't you, she said her grandmother once gave her 5000 to pay off debts. She now have another 8000 worth of debt. So she has likely racked up more debt since her grandmother paid her debts off. . So clearly has not learned. Has she.
There’s nothing to discuss at this point, that money belongs to the kid, and no one can do anything about it. So hand over the money.
Entitled much?
@@reykennedy5716 Sure, but there's this pesky thing called the law and consequences (resulting from poor planning).
@@reykennedy5716 It's not about an "entitlement" mentality. It's that the daughter has legal title to the money and the mother is preventing her from exercising her legal rights. The daughter has a legal claim against her mother right now in all likelihood. The longer mom holds onto this, the deeper into trouble she wades. The daughter will find out about it eventually. So it's best to simply do what the law requires and say it's up to the daughter now. Mom has no legal right to it any more.
@@DeRothschild Hire an attorney and turn that account into 250 bucks!
Parents paid for college with their own funds thinking they could keep the money! Found out that legally they cannot. I don’t think daughter is the problem here!
No they were keeping for their daughter as a nest egg when she graduates and has a job. Very smart and kind of them.
This money was never theirs. Wasn’t earned by them and never intended for them. The woman is 25 years old! She is grown!! Give her the money and who cares about the rest. Should have instilled the values in her much earlier!
this is crooked.. although she can't handle money.. it's her money. You gotta give it to her and let her fall... but don't bail her out when she blows through it!!!
Fall?
The price of the fall maybe so great that it could destroy the daughter. The mother probably has concerns about living the party life.
@@bighands69 yes, you are correct, but in the end if she does not give her the money, the daughter will hate her and it will be a lifetime resentment. Since she is calling DR she has revealed that she is unable to have a reasonable conversation.. Personally I would give the money back to the grandmother and let HER deal with it.
@@anniesshenanigans3815
I do not think the mother is really keeping the money. They daughters sounds like she does not know what she is doing.
The daughters can easily go claim the money if she wants it. It is all the daughters name.
I don't think her daughter is that irresponsible. I mean she was working and recently lost her job.
My question to you is why did you pay for her college when she already had a college fund? Why didn’t you use that money for that
WHERE is the daughter living? I'm thinking this 25 year old is still living at home. I'd give her the password AFTER a discussion of why she is leaving the house (this month) and will be responsible for her own life from this point forward.
Can't figure out why the parents paid for her college with this college money sitting here.
130k she could put down a 25% down on a nice home
"She has different value systems" meaning we are Republican Christians and she wants to move to California and eat avocado toast.
Exactly!
No she irresponsible which is why she didn't go to any classes
@@cashkitty3472 yet she graduated college already? Watch the video again.
Avocado toasts are delicious 😋 let's not insult it please
I think the daughter is just irresponsible. Being broke let’s her build character
11k is not huge debt. It’s her money mom is committing a crime. I hope the daughter Sues and the bank should be able to give her access to her money. I’d sue the bank to.
Something is not right here with the mom's story and Dave is not picking up on it. He assumes she is doing right, but could be very controlling and very narcissistic. The answer is simple, this is not your money mom and your opinion does not really matter. Furthermore, you did not have to pay for college or you could have used some or all of the grandmother's money to pay for college. Definitely would like to hear the side of the 25 year old as well. Control issues is what I hear coming from mom.
The mother is concerned for her daughter and is probably not admitting that there is a party lifestyle going on here.
That daughter may end up paying a price that is greater than the money.
My exact thoughts jerry
I have a feeling that's why granny didn't put in a 529 that the parents would control. There's a reason she put it in her granddaughter's name to begin with.
Why didn’t you use the college money for you know..college?
Rich
Maybe to get control over here. Alot of parents are willing to spend money on their children just to control them. They will do stuff just for control sake( not all parents are like this)
This is how you fail your kids 🤦🏾♂️
It's illegal for them to hide this account from her, it's in her name... it's her money.
Dave Ramsey is wrong.
A 25 year old isn't a child.
Mother needs to let go and legally give her daughter the funds.
Mom failed. Deal with the consequences.
All 25 year olds are children. All 35 year olds are children. All 95 year olds are children. Everyone is a child of at least two others.
Wow. Isn't this parent committing a crime?
Yeah, they really glossed over that. She’s stealing from her grown adult daughter. Whether or not her daughter has the same “value system” (which probably just refers to politics or religion) doesn’t matter. It’s illegal and it’s wrong
Parents really struggle with this issue. It's not your money, you can't hide it from them their whole life. You HAVE to teach your kids about money, ESPECIALLY if they are going to receive a large amount. This is 100% on the parents. Do the responsible thing
By keeping this money from her while she is struggling you also give her no reason to trust you.
Your daughter has an income problem like the rest of us and could use the money. With that being said, as parents you failed to financially educate your daughter in a way that would have prevented this. People in their 20's make terrible decisions as a whole.
Think about the timeline: She was fresh out of college at the beginning of the pandemic and probably has some low paying job right now.
This shouldn't even be a debate. She's an adult, the money is in her name. It's hers to spend, even if she does it foolishly. This is not her parents decision to make, it's theft. And why did they even let her take out a loan knowing there's thousands of dollars sitting in an account to pay for school?
That's what I want to know..this call seems like a bunch of codependent mess😢
If I am the parent, I would take out the price of her college that they paid already and give her the rest. It's a little late to try to instill discipline and responsibility at the age of 25.
No, that wasn't the deal. Parents agreed to pay for daughter's college, nothing was said about parents loaning to daughter. That's the daughter's money and the parents need to let go.
my reply exactly
It's in her name and belongs to her. They cant do that, that's theft
@@NIN_Mase Maybe it is in her name. Maybe the grandma is still on the account, since she put the money into it in the first place. Grandma needs to reclaim it.
The fact that they hid the money shows why she’s not respected by the daughter. This is a microcosm of the greater problems at hand.
This mom is playing with fire. She needs to disclose and give the money to her daughter who IS the rightful owner. I suspect there is some manipulation in the mix.
This is fraud, give the daughter her money she’s 25. That’s so messed up
Wait, the grandmother's alive and she didn't think to have them all come together to discuss the funds and how they HAVEN'T been used for the granddaughter's college expenses??! Honestly this sounds more like control and manipulation tactics if anything.
I’m with Dave, stuck in the middle. Give the money back to granny. Hopefully granny repays the parents for the tuition expenses and gives the rest to the granddaughter, wishing her the best. But truth is, mom isn’t being completely honest here. There’s more to it somewhere.
if the account is in her name, and the parents remove said funds, if she ever finds out, she could potentially sue them into the ground for the loss.
When you put funds in someone's account, under their name, you cannot withdraw without having a legal right to do so.
@@michaelleahy6848 Yeah, that's called theft lol.
The more is that the daughter is probably living a party life style and the mother can see that.
If your parents stole six figures from you, would you still be stuck in the middle? There’s no “well they stole, but it was for a good reason,” theft is theft and they’re in the wrong, period, the end.
It feels like there are some tax implications here for the daughter that the parents have put her at risk.
she is of age, the money is hers, GIVE HER THE MONEY and make sure she knows that she will not get another cent from her parents and to spend wisely. I love how the parents are trying to look out for her but let her do and/or fall on her financial face and just sit back and see what happens
To me the mom sounds severely in the wrong here, why did the money not initially go to her like it was intended to most likely to pay for her education rather than the parents paying for it and holding this money over her head now...
Shes 25! You have NO BUSINESS holding this money. It’s not Legally OR Morally your business. Give that grown woman her money.
If it’s legally the daughters she’s committing a crime by withholding it. I’d get a lawyer and file charges if I were the daughter, if mom doesn’t hand it over. The caller hasn’t presented anything to say the daughter is the problem. I think mom is a control freak. I
Hope the daughter sues
8k debt at 25 is nothing for this generation. At that age I had closer to 15 plus unpaid student loans, and the situation is worse now than it was then. The world isn't the same as it was when this mom was 25. Maybe if she could have a conversation with her daughter she'd know that. I hope her daughter hears this and gets the money she should've had years ago. Imagine the different life-shaping decisions she could've made at such a critical time in her life and career. This mom just knows she has leverage and is using it - nothing caring about that.
And that is a huge problem that you think that $8k is nothing for this generation. She won't work. SHe will be perptually in debt for the rest of her life
It's a problem that $8k is nothing for this generation. It's a problem that they've been brought into a world where it's so difficult not to live in debt. But you get about 12 years to instill some good values in a child and then if you've done that well you might get a few more, and this lady seems to have fumbled that and now wants to blame the consequences on her daughter while breaking the law and denying her money that could really help her situation. There are a lot of problems here.
So the older generations complains about kids not growing up, but they never gave them any responsibility. She's gonna have to learn the hard way.
At this point, by not disclosing the money to their daughter, the mother is stealing.
Sounds like mom wants to control the daughter. She is an adult and doesn’t need to listen to parents! Bad parenting !
Sound like a control play and she is playing with fire (legally speaking)
The more you try and control your ADULT kid, the more they will do the opposite and rebel against you!! That IS the problem with this mother/father.
It's her money and she is an adult. She is not some 18-20 year old kid. Sit down with her, give her advice, and then hand her the account. They need to immediately hand it over. Wow.
How about put some accountability back on the parents for not teaching her how to manage money. Why are we putting all blame on the child who again is a whole ADULT! They failed to parent effectively and are now punishing her for it. Shame on them!
The caller got in her question in the first 12 seconds of the call. What a nice change of pace lol
If this girl knew anything of where this account sits, all she has to do is call support and ask them to reset the password. This will get messy fast and i think they need to sit down, be transparent, give her the money, and warn her “when it’s gone it’s gone, dont be stupid. We love you”
She’s freaking 25! Stop trying to control her! Stop saving her… stop controlling her….
So daughter has 3000 bucks in student loans even though mommie paid her tuition? Sounds like a spoiled kid.
She wanted spending money. She probably has an extreme spending habit (addicted). Probably designer purses, clothes, shoes etc.
@@saulgoodman2018 Based off what her mom stated that she has spending problems... It's possible to get student loans even though her parents paid for college.
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Our mentality is messed up, we validate ourselves with wasteful vanities when you can't guarantee yourself financial freedom.
Love it when I see women excelling. Compound interest is the 8th wonder of the world. It's exciting to watch your wealth grow.
Did a quick search and found her page, she seems very proficient... hope she responds to my inquiry.
Its borderline criminal what this moms doing
Convoluted situation! It seems clear that the money legally needs to be relinquished to the daughter right away. I'd have the grandmother have a heart-to-heart with her granddaughter and guide her as best as she can in that conversation because it was her gift initially. Then both parents and grandparents should make it clear that she will not be getting any more funds in the future and pray she does something responsible with it.
Hmm. I get the feeling the mom probably thought " If my husband and I paid for her college tuition already, this money is ours now not hers!"
Nope/
They probably can see that the daughter will destroy her self with the money.
she should have received the money at 18 to actually pay for college.
PS: is the grandma complicit on keeping the fund a secret? Why didn't she tell her about it? I bet they have spend some of it.
Sounds like a crime for the mom to hide this money?
Yup sounds like a crime...
why is mom calling. this is between the alive grandma and the girl. Mom, regardless of her concerns, is meddling with the financial agreements between two other adults. Mom should direct her concerns to grandma, and if grandma sides with the girl, mom just has to get out of it. The biggest issue isn't the lawsuits, its the retaliation when the girl gets the money.
Give it to her. And tell her, her father and I will not help her financially, anymore.
Parents are controlling and it’s going to backfire. The kid is irresponsible thanks to the parents who never gave her a chance to be responsible.
If Grandma takes the money back from an account in the name of the daughter, that is theft, and incredibly illegal. Holding the money is mildly illegal, the only option legally is to give her the money. The daughter basically just needs a lawyer, and they to be giving her the access in s day.
Mom secretly wants this money for herself.
For those wondering why the parents paid 20,000 for college instead of using the college fund, mother probably didn't want the daughter to have access to the trust and the only way to control that was to not let the daughter know it existed.
Mother needs to stop controlling her kid(s).
It was stupid of them to pay for her college separately when this cash was sitting there FOR COLLEGE. Now they’re disappointed she has access to it?
If an estate lawyer did what mom has done, they would be disbarred, face several fines, face a lawsuit and looking at prison time. Surprised Dave actually agreed with any of this, it's a violation of fiduciary responsibility. This video will probably be removed at some point in the future.
I write the Probate bonds and you're exactly correct.
To be fair - he said "you have legal issues" at the end.
My Uncle hid money that was given to his daughter through a will. She got $125K and it grew to about $200K. Then my cousin had a really bad burn accident and had no insurance... the hospital bill was over $1million and it was never paid. Years later, she got married and was given the money and they bought a house in Boulder CO. My Uncle is VERY wealthy... so it was never about keeping her money.
This is a very bizarre situation. Mom is not acting responsibly at all. If there is no trustee, who is paying the tax on the account annually?
That’s a great point
I think the daughter needs to learn how to get herself out of debt rather than bailing her out. She won't learn anything if you bail her out.
The moral of this story is: don’t give your money away except in your Will.
Mom’s a controlling narcissist. Her daughter will never be good enough for that money from the moms perspective.
Changing people by shaming them and making them feel terrible doesn’t ALWAYS work but add it in yes. Also pray over her she’s going to try and be rebellious, it happened but pray over it and keep redirecting her in the right direction with love and support and knowledge
she trying to pocket that money!!!🤣😂
I thought so too. Mom kept that money from daughter and paid daughter's tuition in an installment plan with her own money so she can keep daughter's money lol. Greedy mom. Never trust people like this even if they are your own parents.
No...it doesn't sound like that, they put in some, and currently hold the password=the ability to spend. And they haven't....instead broadcasting this fact to the nation. Ensuring they'd much more likely be caught.
No they're just afraid to let go.
Not once did mom say that her daughter was doing anything shameful and didn’t deserve the money. She said she had different value systems. That could mean anything. She could’ve gone out and got a tattoo and that could be what the mom is talking about but either way she’s 25 and you can’t control her anymore. She’s RECENTLY unemployed. She didn’t say she’s never had a job or can’t keep a job. I was unemployed too for a couple of months in 2018 while I looked for another job. That doesn’t make me a bad or irresponsible person.
If this was for college, why did parents pay?
Control!
Whatever money was given to your daughter that is not under your control is not yours. Protecting an adult from herself isn't teaching her anything. If she fails, then oh, well. She works in fast food. If you can get your $20k back then do so, but the other relative's contribution is hers. Dave is correct.
This is a prime example of why when you have kids or grandkids, you do not EVER put money in an account like this with no stipulations. You have no idea what might happen 18-20 years later. If you're gonna do this, put it in a trust with strings on it! They have to do X,Y,Z to get money. They can only use the money for P,D,Q. If they don't like that the money will default back to you.
having understanding parents for the children is half the battle won in life. children trying to understand their parent's struggle and being able to give support in their time of need is also very important. this is how a family must function
The mother is in the wrong. It isn’t her money. She needs to give it to her daughter. You can always pray for her.
I cannot believe a mom would do this. It's immoral. She didn't give any real evidence of misbehavior. Mom is a criminal.
Her daughter will live off of it while looking for that magical dream job that doesn't exist.
Her grandmother gave her the money to pay for college, yet the parents paid for her education and are now withholding her own money from their daughter. Not the wisest parents.
“What would I do if I were in your shoes? Well #1 I’d be crying a lot” DAVE!! 😂🤣😂
This is ridiculous. Give the girl HER money. She could put that money towards her debt, be debt free and put the rest towards a home once she gets a job and is on her feet 🤦🏻♀️
I think tgey are in doubt about her being debt free… Im just guessing
Before giving the money to the daughter, mom and dad need to reimburse themselves for what they paid for college out of their own pocket. There really isn't $130k there, it's $130k less what parents paid out for the daughter's college education.
The comment is old but since she 25 now and the money is hers they don’t have the right to withdrawal anymore. The money they paid would be considered a gift and all 130k is hers