Take My Daughter Out Of The Will Since She's Cut Me Out Of Her Life?
Вставка
- Опубліковано 4 жов 2024
- 💵 Create Your Free Budget! Sign up for EveryDollar ⮕ ter.li/6h2c45
📱Download the Ramsey Network App ⮕ ter.li/ajeshj
🛒 Visit The Ramsey Store ⮕ ter.li/7vyom2
📞 Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 weekdays from 2-5 pm ET or send us a message ter.li/n88ly5
Explore More Shows from Ramsey Network:
🎙️ The Ramsey Show ⮕ ter.li/ng9950
🍸 Smart Money Happy Hour ⮕ ter.li/9gcp3d
🧠 The Dr. John Delony Show ⮕ ter.li/2u3mc0
💰 George Kamel ⮕ ter.li/1elws8
💡 The Rachel Cruze Show ⮕ ter.li/n2u6jc
💼 The Ken Coleman Show - Highlights ⮕ ter.li/1rbjr2
📈 EntreLeadership ⮕ ter.li/ktxv2k
Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy
www.ramseysolu...
My wife's uber rich parents were narcissists and bullies. She had no choice but to sever ties. We know darn well we are not getting a penny from them and thats fine. You can't put a price on your mental health and self esteem.
Yes! Good to see other people who can relate to that here (although I’m sorry that this happened to your wife!) because some of these comments are so judgmental. 🙄
@@RianneMision thanks for saying so. We tried for many years to no avail. They are always in our prayers and we hope they are happy. In many ways my wife thinks she did them the favor. We could never live up to their standards, so we stopped trying.
I don’t like hand outs I rather put in the work and earn my own money 💰
@user-ki7mf7iz2f, I agree with you that there are good reasons for distancing yourself from family, such as the example you gave, but what many people don't realize is....that there are children who have given up on their families for reasons that aren't good reasons. They just decided to abandon their families, and yes that DOES happen. I've heard story after story of it happening to even good parents in the past few years. If the parents were so bad, for one thing, why would all their other children not abandon them too, and yet they don't. It's usually just that one child who decides to behave that way.
@@elchapojr6219 its not a hand-out, nor is a Trust-fund, its a financial gift given with love to take some of the stress and worries out of life. Who on earth wants to stand by and watch their children struggle. NOT ME, with every fibre in my being.
There is way more to this story than this woman is letting on. I can guarantee that. Anyone who is estranged from their family knows.
Hundred per cent.
Absolutely I agree
Yes yes yes!
Nope the pandemic really pushed so many people over the edge
Still doesn't affect the will. If she wants to cut her out for whatever reason it is her right to do so. Seems like more than anything she is just asking for permission so she doesn't feel bad about doing so.
For myself, if I were estranged from my child, I leave her/him in my will, also leaving them a letter expressing my love for them.
Exactly 💯
Agreed
Agree 100%
I don’t think estranged daughter would want any of her parents money anyway. She left the family for a reason and isn’t looking back.
1000% correct. I could care less about the money. I want a mother who isn't an abusive narcissist.
Another example of people losing their sanity during the hysteria
@@SerErryk 💯💯💯
@@SerErryk And, for adult children too. They abuse parents, and grandparents financially. It goes both ways. But, this is about not agreeing about the political consequences of cv! THAT'S why they are not communicating.
My sister said she didn’t want anything from my dad when she disowned him. She said she did not care that she was no longer in his will. When he died, a year later, my sister was very regretful. She said she thought she’d eventually talk to him again. She has never forgiven herself. My sister would have inherited a farm, but now she rents an apartment in a ghetto.
I’m estranged from my parents. I can guarantee you that there’s more to the story than she’s telling us…
SO WHAT? Does that mean they have to leave money to that daughter? lol
@@donjohnson1416 no, it doesn’t. They can do whatever they want with their money. I’m just saying I think there’s more to the estrangement than she’s letting on. If the daughter is anything like me, then she doesn’t even care about the inheritance.
@@supereee7 easy to say you don't care today.
@supereee7 You are spot on. I’m estranged from my parents too. I have worked hard to earn my own way. I knew I would rather live on the streets than ask my parents for help. Twenty years ago my parents told my siblings that they cut me out of their will. My siblings remain friendly with my parents because they want my parents’ money. I can not live with the mocking, belittling, or disrespect my parents showed to me. My 7-year old asked, “Why does your mom hate you?” I knew that I was teaching her how to be submissive to cruelty. I was done.
You can’t guarantee that. Politics have separated many families !
I agree with Dave. By sending everything back, The daughter made it clear she did not want anything from her parents. By changing their will(s),her parents are showing acceptance and closure of her wishes.
This is well said
Agreed.
I pray that never happens.
@@Rosemary-up1ql you cannot make people do the right thing. Things like this happen all the time. I think he gave her wonderful advice. Change the will.. like yesterday.. ok OK?
There was more going on, than whether or not mom should be kissing and cuddling family during a pandemic.
Note: she shouldn't. But I know a lot of families did. The problems came, when the families didn't agree on their behaviour.
Or when one ended up spreading covid inadvertently, killing the person they gave it to and became racked by guilt.
My perspective differs: First, we know nothing regarding the caller's culpability; other commenters have surmised this may be a narcissistic personality trying to control others; it takes two to tango, as my Dad like to say. Second, model the behavior you want to see in the world: Be compassionate, be gracious: You still remain her parent regardless. So, you've cut her off. To what end? What have you actually achieved? Imagine the daughter's reaction when mom passes, and she sees that her mother remembered her anyways, despite everything. Why leave your daughter with spite? Is that the behavior you want to be remember for?
Money going to someone who actually deserves it, that's what's achieved. Instead of the money going to an entitled brat who was brainwashed by the media and chose wokeness over their own parents.
I reunited with my father after 30 years. My stepmother had died so I felt comfortable seeing him again. Eventually, my father mentioned "my inheritance". I actually laughed (not at him, but at the comment) and I told him while I was still chuckling that "I didn't think I had one."). And he said, "Well, you do." very sternly. This conversation took place in the driveway after we had gone grocery shopping. I told him, that he didn't owe me anything and I meant it. I think I told him that several times over the years we spent together. In a nice way. I wasn't there for his money. I wanted to have a relationship with him if we could be kind to each other and stay in the present. We were able to do that. I did have to tell him that if he got abusive, I'd be gone another 30 years. I actually got a very tearful apology from him. And I told him it was ok, but let's be kind to each other. It was an ending I never predicted, but it was a happy one for me because I could think about my father without sadness, but happiness. It was priceless to me and I think it was for him too. Did he leave me an inheritance? Yes. But I never expected one.
Wow
How convenient….
Thank you for sharing Elizabeth. We all desire the reconciliation to happen this side of heaven. But, it has to start with us and admitting to oneself the truth of our part in it... Is a good place to start.
@@soonermagic24 what was convenient?
@@kbanghart how she felt to meet him after 30 years when she realized he was at the end.. somehow he mentioned she had an inheritance.. how convenient
I was in the same boat as this lady. One day I woke up, said enough is enough, and stopped crying. Changed the will, moved to a different state and am living my last years in peace finally. No more threats, no more bullying from her to me or the younger siblings. Peace finally.
Good advice. Just lying in bed, thinking enough is enough. It really is time to stop crying.
Doesn’t sound like the same boat.
Sorry to hear this
It’s heartbreaking when our kids cut us off.
Sadly, kids today do not have the family values that were instilled in our generation. How did this happen?
I thought...well, I somehow missed the mark on this as I too have suffered the loss of a connection with my 3 adult children. The longest spell was 4 years with a Son, now, my daughter is playing this card, but, you know what?
That's her loss!
I'm good, this is because God is my strength!
We must learn to live with that which we cannot change!
I promise you one day will be full of regrets!
There is more than just this. Their relationship probably had many issues but this is what broke the camel’s back.
It had a giant issue, they chose to send their daughter to a university in a left-wing state. Always a bad decision
Or was an excuse that was convient for Dd to say good bye for a relationship that didn’t serve her.
Doesn't make it ok.
Uh, she's not speaking to her sister either.......it's the daughter in CO. The place is a sesspool in Denver.
I guarantee the mother is not innocent. She’s the narc calling.
Take her out of the will.
Simple.
💯
Some kids don’t care about their parents wealth.
@@charleslavoie5402
Another win for the parents obviously.
@@charleslavoie5402 I certainly didn't care. There's not enough money in the world that could've made me bow down and be controlled. Keep your money and anything else. I wanted NOTHING.
No, it's not simple. Not if you have a "normal" parent/child relationship.
If the daughter wants nothing to do with parents- the parents should respect that and give her inheritance to the other child who is there. I have a sister who did this to my parents, it was so awful on my parents.
That’s sort of what I have done, left my daughter out of my will, left both my sons in and included my wonderful bonus daughter in my will ( because they may not be my daughter, they treat me like a bonus mom. Even if it is sad to lose a child, I am Blessed to have 2 bonus daughters.
the trouble with that is that sometimes the inheriting sibling feels huge guilt. It happened to my friends Mother. Her Grannie died and left a lot of money to my friends daughter as the other daughter and her were estranged. The estranged daughter has said a lot of things and refused to assist her mother. she was the one who lived near her. Fine. so the other daughter was left it all. However, she is a soft and nice lady and felt this wasn't fair.. so she gave her sister half of the money. Six months later, the other daughter was diagnosed as seriously ill. with Mad Cow Disease.. I cannot recall the medical term now. her sons, my friends cousins, go the inheritance which the family were ok with as their Mother sadly died in hospital after a terrible time.
same thing happened to my parents. I cannot understand why my sister did that to our parents who are in their 80s.
Well maybe the daughter wad abused in some way. I cut my parents off because my mother is a narcissist and abused all of us for 6 decades.
Same, its not always the family’s fault…
One of our relatives called my sister a liberal because she got the vaccine. 1. She’s an emergency room nurse and 2. It was a requirement to keep her job.
People on both sides of the situation need to cut the crap and just get along.
1. I agree with you.
2. If you are somehow implying that she had no choice because it was “required” for her job, then don’t kid yourself.
Life is filled with choices, m’friend. We chose for my wife to be a housewife, and we gave up the option to buy a boat and to vacation every year, etc. Another commenter above said, “You can’t put a price on your mental health and self-esteem, and I couldn’t agree more. My body and my health (i.e. NOT getting the jab) is WAY more important than keeping some dumb job. What good is that job if she dies from clotting a year later?????
Even more what is needed is an understanding of the around-the-world panic that was created by this originally unknown serious killer virus of millions of people, elderly or not, predisposed or not, immunologically compromised or not, obese or not or even young and healthy - they all, literally died before their time was due! Couple that with an already present and growing paranoia of modern science and distrust of vaccines already prevalent in society, mostly in the United States of America, you have the ingredients of tremendous conflict within the nation let alone families. This is PTSD on a national level and the uneven response caused by the already divisive politics in the US exacerbated the crisis and delayed the recovery of the public’s health and the economy. Everyone, everywhere needs to look at the broader future potential consequences of the next global pandemic and then, perhaps , we could get on the same page in terms of a plan to prevent catastrophe. IMO, don’t write your daughter off yet. She is your flesh and blood. Thoughts and analysis of this major event in all of our lives have not settled yet. It’s too soon and emotions are still superseding rationality.
@@WildnUnrulyglad
Isn't it interesting how all you people expect everyone to respect your choices but you fail utterly to respect anyone else's? How utterly 'not charming'. You weren't advocating for anyone except your own fears.@@WildnUnruly
The biggest criminal scam in history
I think it’s best to change the Will. If she’s cut you out completely she surely isn’t expecting any money from you. I don’t see this as punishment, I see it as honouring what she wants. I hope it works/worked out for you.
I'm not sure it's even good to have the kids in the will anyway, especially if you have a lot to leave. The last thing I want is my kid retiring the day my wife and I are dead, then buying an Italian sports car and wrapping it around a tree. Having to work to eat keeps people responsible.
If I were a parent, I'd never cut a child out of my will. Call it unconditional love. Or a symbol of what I consider non-negotiable parental duty. If years after my death, that child gets new perspective on whatever conflict we had, they'll hopefully know my loyalty was undying. Even though, you might say it's not costing me anything. I have a low opinion of almost anyone who would even consider this. Talk about misplaced priorities. If you love your child, I can't think of anything that matters less than money you can't spend because you're dead
She could have honored the daughter's wishes in the first place, worn a mask, and seen her family. The fact that control was more important than time with her child must have been very hurtful.
@jasonc.776 just cuz you don't leave them anything in the will, does not mean lack of love.
They are telling you that they don't want anything to do with you (and that includes your money/property/etc.).
Unconditional love is always having an open heart to reconciliation.
@@HD-bq8pwI have never seen unconditional love, there’s always a hook if triggered
So basically the daughter asked her to follow some precautions and she refused. I’ll bet there’s more to this.
Yes. And the mom should have the police do a well visit check.
@@timberleynies4945Why? There’s nothing to indicate anything is wrong with the daughter. The mother has acted entirely crazy.
Pandemic and precautions aside, the mother did not and still does not have a right to hug someone just because she wants to. Daughter, son, grandchild... It's not your right!
@@peppersmom8532 Typical North American thinking..."all about me"
I am 30 years old and recently cut my mom off completely. Estrangement doesn't just happen over a petty argument. I was dealing with years and years of emotional abuse starting from age 10-12. I finally said I've had enough. My mom will have over 200k upon her passing and quite frankly I could care less if it went into a shredder. My family, mental health, and well being is priceless.
You can talk about not caring for the $, but how many siblings fight over it when parents are gone? I've heard it plenty of times.
I'm in a very similar situation with abusive parents. They have a lot of money and I view their money like a disgusting poisonous fruit. I never want any of it.
I have a similar situation with my 93 year old mother. All her three daughters have depressive disorder and anxiety. I’m still hanging in there as is my one sister , the third calls her occasionally as she moved. She said a any money we get we should consider reparations 🤣🤣
I am in a similar situation. My mental health and well being is way more important than the money the hold over my head!
My son, after 101 attempts of trying to take my life, and disabling me, journals "I will get my due." Yes, he will. Upon my death, to avoid probate, he will receive a $20 donation in his name to a local food bank. He suffers mental illness due to his many addictions, one being his intent to end my life. No back stories here. Estrangement? Can't call it estrangement when he is squatting in my attic, dealing drugs with the cartel, and terrorizing me 24/7. Police do nothing. We need a squatters law.
As someone who is estranged from her family, I can tell you that there is more to the story. Sure, once in a while, someone will cut people out of their life for some petty reason, but very often the argument that precedes the estrangement is not what the estrangement is about, it is simply the straw that broke the camels back. Estrangement happens when one or both parties feels that there is something fundamentally wrong with the relationship. In my case, boundaries were violated so badly that there was no way for me to maintain a life that was healthy and full of dignity, unless those abusive relationships were removed from my life. I have only been on the daughters side of this, but I wish her parents peace and hope that everyone involved can reflect on themselves well enough to make the right decisions for themselves and find a way to minimize the hurt on others.
Sounds like you have one or more narc parents? In the beginning I got that vibe from the mom but it changed a bit toward the end. I guarantee there is more to this story as well.
Yeah, that is kind of what I was thinking as I listened to this woman speak. I was pretty sure there was more to the story.
@@dustyrhodes2717 If Dr. John was on the call, that's what he would have said.
Way more to this story than we were told. Nobody cuts off their parents and sister over a masking disagreement
Yes there might be more to the story but it is still Mom’s money to do with as she pleases.
I had a lifelong friend and his wife come to town almost 2 years after Covid started and his request was that I wear a mask and socially distance from them when they come over for dinner IN MY HOUSE because I was not vaccinated. I told them no thanks and that I'll see them on their next visit when their fear has abated. Eventually, I swallowed my pride and found a compromise- I took a Covid test the day of the dinner and we made an agreement to not mention the following topics- Covid, masks, or vaccines. We had a lovely visit and it was really great seeing them. It's really sad what the government and media panic has done to rip friends and families apart over this Covid hysteria. I'm glad I did not let them win in my scenario.
But you did. Compromise means both have to lose something to gain something. You lost because you took the test. If anybody tried to tell me what I need to do in MY house... no compromising on my end will be done! That's not winning either. It would keep people away from me. But I will not put up with all these scaredy cats dictating anything in MY space! They can dictate what they want to in their house, but that's where their control ends.
I think depending on the circumstances, the level of control borders on abusive. Not necessarily with you or the gal on this video.
I will not bend in my house. You shouldn't have had to either. Once you start bending a little bit, you'll always have to keep bending. I know, I used to do that years ago. Now, nothing.
@@whomeye2168 so if your friend with allergies comes for dinner you won't not serve them dairy because that would be a compromise if you wanted to eat cheese and ice cream? All relationships are give and take. Compromise is normal and acceptable anywhere, every day, with anyone.
@@whomeye2168 I think we're going to have to agree to disagree here. I don't see taking a test as a loss in any way when I got to hug my friends and meet their daughter for the first time. You do you though.
I do too. You compromised in your own home,. Thats YOUR choice and ok, but dont be shocked when people call it weak.. I'd NEVER let ANYONE, not even family dictate my 4 walls. @@annetraut8247
HAHA, in your own house....Ah, Nope
Differences aside, you can’t want my inheritance but also want nothing to do with me
Nobody claimed the daughter wanted anything. That’s your assumption.
@@NicE-jq3wv well if she doesn’t want it then she shouldn’t have anything to say if she doesn’t get it. I’m just saying if she does want it, she can’t expect to get it while hating the people who are supposed to give it
This “take no prisoners” attitude to relationships is so terrible.
Nice Christian perspective.
@@annaolson6386 ya wouldn’t you know the estranged DIL was brought up with the bible, bible school, bible college, youth bible school, and she’s the cause…is that a Christian?
I appreciate dave acknowledging it is different from death. As one who is experiencing this, I am often told by people that they understand because their loved one died. Those of experiencing estrangement have to live with the fact that this person chooses everyday to have nothing to do with us. The dead don't make that choice.
Well said. Thank you. It's very similar to a divorce in some ways. 😔
@@kristenmarie9248 Worse than divorce. One is a spouse and not blood related and did not come out of ones womb. The children come from our bodies and have an intrinsic bond. Most times. But I will not deny divorce is bad, because that is usually a catalyst for estrangement of one or more children.
Yes! Worst feeling ever
Agree 100%
Agreed. Such a continually painful experience.
Horrible. My son hasn’t spoken to me in three years (for very valid reasons, which has allowed me the time to work on MYSELF) and he’s the eldest of the six of my children, and the executor of my estate. I trust him whether we’re speaking or not. There’s no way I’d cut one of my children out of our trust unless they were on drugs or in prison. I’d will all to the next in line and go from there. After I die, they may get well and the children and keep that child’s money safe for a period of time.
I had everything stolen from me and my own children when my dad’s new wife took it all after my dad passed away very suddenly at 50, so this strikes a cord. It’s called narcissistic abuse.
NEVER ever use money as leverage and manipulation. What an absolutely horrible legacy to leave. You don’t ever turn your back on your child over a pandemic for Gods sake. Come on. This is a classic example of there’s two sides to every story and in the middle is the truth.
Amen. Dangling that will money is narcissistic. Good for you and especially for getting help. I come from an abusive home. I decided not to have kids. My brother and sister did. I see the same toxic relationships in their family. One kids is bullied, one kid is adored. It’s horrible to watch, and the bullied kids moved far far away and cut off contact.
Parents need to take a business approach to their grown kids. So many parents think they own their kids.
@@CO2isfake I’m so proud of my older children for standing their ground and holding me accountable. The biggest thing I’ve learned is that even staying in an abusive relationship, is abusive to your children as well. Even if I was the perfect mother (in which I wasn’t) that fact alone will alienate your adult children as well. My son is waiting on me, and I’m grateful to even have that opportunity. Parents take such an entitled approach. I’m shocked the Ramsey team, who are biblically based would suggest what they did. Our children are gift from above, we’re loaned them. We don’t own them. If you choose to build wealth, you’re choosing to leave that to your children and their children. That’s biblical. Not let’s cherry pick the truth and demand a relationship my way, or you all don’t get any money. That’s childish and self centered. How sad that money is valued over relationship. The woman said that she’d have to drive over 1,000 miles just to have the door slammed in her face. Well, drive it. You keep driving until your child knows that there’s no pandemic that will take away your love. Don’t send narcissistic manipulative letters. I’ve been there, done that. Agree to disagree. If your children want you to wear a mask, wear one. If they’re on the other side, you wear one of you’d like. Stop over complicating relationships and bringing political views and what not into them. I’m sorry, I just find it so disgusting. I’d give anything for my kids, adults or not.
The daughter cut the mother off, not the other way around. She and her other daughter have both been cut out of the other daughter’s life. There is no fixing this until the daughter decides to come home, then you can always change the Will back.
Sounds like the daughter has already cut the parents off, it doesn't seem like she's waiting around for a few dollars when someone dies. People get way too obsessed with an inheritance and who they think should get it.
Only when they're using it as a tool for control.
Exactly, I doubt the daughter wants any money from her parents
Dave is dead wrong on this one.
It's funny because when someone calls regarding parents with boundary issues, Dave's advice is to try and set boundaries and if they can't respect those boundaries, to lovingly but firmly cut ties with those family members.
Now this parent calls (who I bet has boundary issues with her daughter), and Dave's advice is, "I'm so sorry. Yes, cut that awful child out of your will".
Ramsey have you even read the story of The prodigal son?. The lesson of the prodigal son is that the parent stayed steadfast and provided for the Son no matter what. As an adult, we should remain steadfast in our love for our children even if our children reject us for a time. It is very likely that they will be able to reconcile at some point in time but if the daughter is removed from the will, and the parents die, then the daughter will live the rest of her life with that regret and the knowledge that she is unforgiven. And it will destroy her. If her parents die and she is still given a portion of the will, then she will know that she is forgiven. As a parent we need to grow up and understand that it is not about our feelings, but the development of future generations of our family. Parents who use the will as a punishment are as childish as a toddler in a tantrum.
But the son came back. The lady's daughter hasn't come back and might never will. Mom is willing to take her back.
Thank you. This one billion million percent.
@@standingonmountain3975but the son got the inheritance BEFORE he left. The father willingly gave the son his portion knowing he would be leaving and likely never to return, even upon the father's death. I.e., collecting in advance.
Like hello?
It's rare for me to disagree with Dave, but on this I disagree heartily.
Firstly, why is the mother calling Dave about a matter as serious and heart wrenching as this? She needs to be speaking to someone who has the time to listen to all the 'ins and outs' of the background, and then ground the mother toward forgiveness of her daughter. And that takes time.
Second, The story of the Prodigal Son is one of my absolute favourites in the Bible. The Father (Our Father in Heaven) never stopped looking out for His son, ever. He rejoiced with utter delight when His son came back. It was irrelevant to the Father that His child was all bedraggled and dirty and poverty stricken.
The Father loved His child and did everything to show His son that all was forgiven, that no resentment was harboured and He had never given up His love for his child. His child was loved by Him no matter what.
I hope the mother acts with kindness and forgiveness towards her daughter.
Exactly. That’s what I said in my original comment!
Why would the mom put her foot down and refuse to visit if she couldn't hug her daughter? The parents could have visited on their daughter's terms and avoided this situation. Even though the daughter is an adult, as parents we still need to be even more of an adult than the kid sometimes. "It ended up we had a heated conversation" The mom took zero responsibility for her part in this.
Perhaps, but it was an extreme overreaction for mom choosing not to visit on daughter's terms. They could have simple agreed to wait to meet in person, but daughter slammed the door on the relationship and deadbolted it.
She wasn't refusing to visit, she wasn't going to fly to Colorado from TX to be snubbed as "unclean". Canceling a trip isn't the same as the daughter cutting off the mother and not continuing to communicate.
Yes, also note we heard nothing about what was said in that conversation. That is one of the issues. They were talking until they had the "heated conversation".
The "hug" set me off too. Right there I said there was more than masking and social distancing in the fight, or mom (caller) is a bully that told daughter how to manage daughter's house
This Mom probably did exactly what my narcissist Mother does which is bulldoze boundaries her children try to hold when they are adults. Some parents don’t know how to let go of control. It’s sad for everyone involved.
She cut her off for a reason. The lady gives me narcissistic lack-of- boundaries vibe with her whole "If I can't hug you I'm not seeing you". As a mom, not being able to hug my kids would never deter me from seeing them. That's just childish manipulation from this woman. There's more to this story.
I thought the same thing. I would still see my daughter and her family even if I couldn't hug them. The mom was my way or the highway. More to the story, definitely.
I see it the same way. There is more to this story. "if I can't hug you I'm not seeing you" if frankly stupid. Respect others feelings and concerns. I'm not so sure the Mom isn't the problem here.
Thought the same thing
Reminds me of when my mom cries victim cuz I won't talk to her. She was severely emotionally abusive. But when she's talking to other people you would think I was the demon. (Or unreasonable) You don't cut off somebody so firmly over one event. If it's a small thing it's usually the straw that broke the camel's back.
Right. I need to hear the daughter’s side. This issue was probably the last straw. 😮
If a child cuts you out of their life, they will have to also live with the consequences of their decision.........as will you. Forgiving them is another matter altogether, but it does not mean you are obligated to give them your money.
Or maybe some parents need to do some introspection. There are many parents who scapegoat a child and then wonder why that child wants no contact.
@@SunnyDays70s Of course. We all need to examine ourselves. But no one is obligated to leave anything to to anyone they don't want to.
@@jeannet7443 There is nothing my children could do for me to cut them out of my Will. It’s called unconditional love. Christian’s like to preach it but can’t seem to do it.
@@SunnyDays70s That is your opinion. Love is not proven by wills and money. The best thing you can do for an errant child is to pray for them.
@@jeannet7443 Then a will doesn’t need to be taken away because the daughter’s love isn’t proven by boundaries with her mother or not.
What's the whole story?
She's only telling half of what happened.
Jimmy, why don't you call in and ask? Scared?
Although i agree that there is likely more to the story, the moms side is the only side that matters when it comes to her will.
It’s a new trend.
Correct
This happens !!
Nothing is so thin it doesn’t have two sides.
"I can't hug you, so it's not worth it...." WTH, People are not obligated to let you touch them. Sounds like this mother was trying to force herself on the daughter and not respect her boundaries. This was a toxic relationship that probably had problems well before this. Sometimes you have to cut people out of your life. Bet this mother tells the other daughter that she's cutting her sister out of the will. He should have sent her the book on Boundaries.
Great going believing all the lies spread during the plandemic. The '6-feet distance' thing was a lie, Fauci admitted to this.
Yes, exactly.
Wow, so many random assumptions passed on as facts or knowledge.
If we have reached a stage where a mother (or father) can't hug their daughter without being accused of crossing boundaries, then maybe it's better for the Chinese, Islam, or the Russians to take over because our western culture has become borderline satanic in nature, and we have all lost our way.
Imagine not going to see your daughter because she won’t give you a hug 😂😂. If you truly love your kid just go and visit without getting a stupid hug
I suspect mom was looking for a reason to write her daughter out of the will. My mom is doing this now. My youngest brother has always been her favorite. She’s picking fights now with the rest of us and taking each of us out of her will. She’s a vindictive witch, just like the mom on this call.
Why don’t you respect the mom’s boundaries? The mom was not forcing the daughter to do anything. The daughter could have flown to see her mom 🤷🏻♀️ why the mom gotta spend $$ ?
Daughter be like “Hey mom, I DEMAND you come see me. Oh btw, you can’t hug or touch me tho, ya dirty old hag. Btw- if you don’t spend hundreds of dollars on a plane, I’ll blame you!”
@@anacorreia8058 did you even listen to the call??
@@LuvThySelf YES! Did YOU? Is there any specific point you want to refute of mine, or are you just posing open-ended questions as if they are somehow a cogent thought?
What about respecting your daughter's wishes when it comesto COVID safety? Half of my neighbors died from COVID. I wore a mask & kept my distance. Never caught COVID. A friend lost 9 relatives & friends in 32 days. Another lost 1/2 of his family. COVID is real.
There has to be more to this story. Especially after a year. And especially if she's sending mail back.
I totally agree with you. For her to disowned her daughter is beyond disgusting. There's definitely more she's not saying...
Don't agree with that
I mean... My sister-in-law stopped talking to my husband and I because we got pregnant during the pandemic and she thought it was irresponsible!
@@Sunflower_lwI mean a lot of ppl felt that way! I even had second thoughts while my gf was pregnant during the pandemic! Hoping I wasn’t putting the baby and mother at risk
@@reese85 That doesn't make it right to take it out on a innocent child.
@@celpaz4584 the daughter disowned her
The daughter is whack
It's kind of messed up, "I won't come see you if I can't hug you."
I've met people who don't believe in handshakes. I've had times of not wanting hugs.
If you go to someone's house you should respect their boundaries.
Not as unreasonable as: "I will cut you out of my life forever for not coming to my house under my guidelines."
How about daughter simply keeps things long distant until she realizes that it is safe to be around the unvaccinated.
This situation could have been the straw that broke the camel's back. Estrangement doesn't just happen over one little thing. It's years and years of BS.
@@stayathomemarine exactly
1000%
Yep. She chose “I demand you hug me the way that I want” over having a relationship with her kid. Control was more important to the parents than their actual living child.
Such a good question! I needed to hear this because I’m in a similar situation. I’ve really struggled with this same question as this woman. It’s a hard thing to know if you should take the high road or put in boundaries. But the loss of a child to alienation is worse than death because they’re still alive.
I had made the same decision as Dave recommended. I needed to stop thinking I had to take care of my child, my child made their decisions. I am now in a place that I need to take care of myself. Dave is right, there needs to be adjustments to reflect the reality.
Yup, I call my son The Walking Dead. He’s alive, living with his abusive, narcissist father, but because I left my abusive ex, I AM THE ONE TO BLAME!
For us as well, we did change our will some 2 years later, she gets a little something, but not what it was
Sounds like my crazy ex and his mother brainwashing my daughter since she was small. I let go and I feel better. If she wants to talk to me she will have to contact me. Plus the nerve she has since she didnt care for her own daughter@@ebriggs3498
I call my two oldest people I gave birth to.
We have the same situation with my sister...she has cut out my father, mother and my older brother. It's very sad and is a loss for all of us. My brother and I have been paying for my mother's expenses for years now with our sister doing nothing financially or emotionally. She turned out to be a narcissist who benefited from our parents, older brother babysitting, my brother doing renovations of her home at reduced costs, loaning of money, etc...once all of that was fulfilled for her, she than turned against everyone. We have closed the loop with all wills cutting her out.
We aren't responsible for our parents financially in reality, and if we're in a position to help them that's a huge blessing. Especially if we are responsible for families of our own. The thought of that alone is enough to plunge someone into a deep depression. Life is not an exact thing and maybe all of this is too much for her to deal with. I know that I'm far more fiscally responsible than my older sister, but that's just how it is. It's just not how she's wired, and I had to realize and accept that. It's best to keep an open mind and heart because you never know what the future will bring.
I know of one or two people that cut their daughter out of their will after the daughter had become estranged. This only came after years of anger and frustration about being estranged. I don't think that parent felt good about it. They would much rather have had a relationship with their daughter.
For sure. And with God it might still happen.
One would most likely have to already feel a lack of support to go as far as severing ties. They aren't probably expecting anything more from the relationship once it's over.
My heart breaks for Laura. Unfortunately, I can relate all too well. By the mighty grace of God, after 6 years my child that left home and cut ties w me (and their sibling) returned. During that time, I thought I would die. The mental and physical pain was REAL! It was to the sibling, too. Nowadays, things are back to normal. I hope that Laura will soon have the family whole. God bless them in the meantime. And yes, forgiveness MUST be part of this process. 🙏
I can guarantee you that if I tried to cut my parents out of my life, they would've driven or flown the 1000 miles and camped out on my doorstep till I talked to them. They would not force me to have a relationship with them, but there would've been a face-to-face meeting, and they would have tried to fix what was wrong more than once. This leads me to agree with others that there may have been other things going on.
More fool them, no point chasing somebody and begging for a relationship. If they want to leave they are adults and can do what they want.
Sounds like the daughter doesn't want a face to face meeting from the start lol
1000000%!
Same
The daughter wouldn't accept the lawyers letter indicating she received an inheritance, thus preventing your estate from being settled.
Money and the Will should be the least of this woman’s worries at this point. I’ll leave it there.
100
That’s what I thought!😮
This woman is lying. She's not telling the truth about what really happened between her and her daughter. Now, she wants to use her money to be vindictive to her daughter, after she passes away. Terrible Mother 😢
@@magicworld3242 that's what I'm thinking. This is not "over covid" as the mom states. I can tell she's a boundary crosser with no respect for her daughter's wishes.
@@magicworld3242 that’s a wild assumption, I’m curious what was said in the video to make you wonder this? We have family in the same town that did this specifically because we had different views and comfort levels r/t covid. They still will not speak with us, and it was all started over the fact that we weren’t wearing masks and getting the shot. Now we have other family that felt the same way they did, but didn’t see our differences as a reason to cut ties. So this is absolutely a real scenario that has happened to many of us.
I have to reply to this as we share this similar situation. I had always gone to great lengths to make sure everything was equal their entire lives. When she chose to end our relationship I have honored that request, regardless of the immense pain. I have suffered enough and made the decision to move on and be happy. Only God can fix this. I chose to remove her from our will - if she wants nothing to do with me, she certainly doesn’t want anything I have to offer. Secondly my love for her should have been worth way more than any funds. Going forward, I would be willing to work on a relationship but only through a professional counselor. I pray for those commenting on this story “that there is more to it” will never have to suffer the anguish of losing a child who is alive but gone. You. Just. Don’t. Know.
The mom wasn’t willing to respect her daughter’s beliefs. It’s like insisting on smoking in a non-smoker’s house. We only heard the mom’s side of the story. This is not so simple.
Sounds like the daughter's belief was that a vaccine was more important than their relationship with their mother. Pathetic.
And the daughter wasn't willing to respect her mother's beliefs. Daughter is keeping control over access to her kids. Grandma is keeping control over her money. Seems pretty even. Regardless of if her daughter was an angel, an inheritance is a gift, not a right.
In continental Europe you can't disinherit your children. Solves the problem of who is to blame for an estrangement. Children don't cut ties for nothing. Usually it's the final straw and a question of preserving sanity. Abusive parents always talk constantly about the will as well.
Absolutely.
No, they cut ties because they bought into the Leftist cult narrative that pushed fear over humanity. Fixed it for you.
If I couldn't dis- inherit and wanted to, I'd donate as much money or give to others before I got to a certain age ( or as soon as I got some diagnoses of disease).😅
Regardless if the daughter is insane, it’s also insane for parents to let their daughter stop talking to them because they don’t want to use a mask for a few days. They are putting their ideologies as their top priority.
Finally!! Thank you.. its both ways
There is nothing insane about it. The daughter is an ungrateful person period.
No matter how thin there's always two sides. We don't know what side mom was on but it should have ended at no visit. A relationship doesn't end over a mask. That was a long time coming. Especially since she also ended things with her sister. Just the tip of the iceberg.
Sounds like Mom was more interested in being "right" than loving her daughter.
My 87 y.o. father and I had a falling out over the (Fauci ouchi) but I didn't cut him out of my life. We just kept talking and I would steer the conversation a different direction if it ever started down that road. We still have a wonderful relationship. Our mainstream media causes these rifts between families and friends, so sad that your relationship with your daughter has come to this.
There's so many. There's some people who refuse to remain kind and loving regardless. I could tell you stories.
I'm sorry that happened and that so many people fell for the stupidity. Bless you.
I’ll will records
I made an absolute rule for myself to never discuss religion or politics with family because family relations are immutable. Nature doesn't care about our political opinions when it creates these unconditional ties.
People cause these rifts. The media brings the topic then people choose to do what they want with them and unfortunately that choice is breaking up families. Don't blame the media for everything. They could have choosen what you did.
There’s definitely more to this story. What else has the mom done to fracture their relationship?
Sometimes people do not want the obligations that comes with being inside of a family.
Or what did the older daughter do to fracture their relationship.
No way is it right to blame the mother. It could be a political divide.
The Mom is omitting the "long story" of the mom being a right-wing parrot and owning the libtards.
I'm sure there was wrong done on both sides.
That was the first and last time I would watch this show; the audacity (and stupidity) of the guy to say that you can't ask somebody to grow a brain yet do not ask the caller, at all, if there was any issues beforehand leaves me totally dumbfounded! I'd love to hear the daughter's side of story.
As a daughter who had to cut my very narcissist mother and her golden child, my little sister (I just talk with my dad) for my health and security, I am sure there is SO much more to the story. As soon as I finally cut her off she started to act like a victim, sent me suicide threats and when other families members are visiting, she acts and give news from me as if we're still speaking (funny enough my cousins, uncles and aunts know that I don't speak with her anymore). I told her that the only condition I would come back is if we go to family therapy together, can finally address her issues and apologizes to me. But of course, she found all creative reasons to not do that. I don't expect myself to be in her will, my sanity and integrity is far much important than that.
She ASSUMED the invitation would be returned. 1,000 miles is too far? Hmmm
Right? Lots of holes in the story.
I'm from the UK and 1000 miles is way too far. I would have sent the invitation though.
I disagree with you on this one, Dave. She is still the daughter. The mother needs counseling, not redoing will, which can be seen as retaliation against her daughter.
Nope, it's mom's money
The mother is fine. The covidiqn daughter is the problem.
I always say money is everything.
@@blackworldtraveler3711 Are you saying money is more important than family?
@@thefcleary
I said money is everything.
I would never write my child out of my will. I would want her to know I love her no matter what, even if she didn’t want me in her life or even if she didn’t love me.
I also believe it would put another stumbling block between the sibblings in case there was as hope for healing their relationship after I’m gone.
You're absolutely right..I totally agree with you.
Super agree. ❤
This is what I've done with my estranged daughter since she still has some contact with her siblings. No matter how much she tries to erase me from her life, she will always be my daughter, and I will always love her. However, should she refuse her portion of inheritance as she does done with anything else from me, her portion will be divided among my grandchildren. All of her siblings know of this inclusion. My son, who is executor, with my permission has already appraised his sister of this provision concerning her inheritance, and she was surprised by it.
YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD DO UNLESS YOU ARE IN THE SITUATION. I CAN SURELY ATTEST TO THIS!
Why would leaving her an inheritance a measure of the mother's love...? You cant buy love.
There is something else going on. She moved to Colorado to get away from something, mom is not telling something. I think the daughter is ok being left out the will.
Yeah, she's a kid who hates her parents and sister. Prodigal.
The mother is clearly trying to punish and control her with inheritance, I can't imagine what would make you think she'd do other negative stuff :^)
Many of us move to a different country doesn’t mean we don’t love our families. There’s not more to this story as some like to comment. I know a lot of family and friendship divisions due to the plandemic. Everyone one showed their true colors and nothing was ever the same for some of us.
Being in the will sounds to be very expensive emotionally
Maybe she moved for a job.
I am a mother of two adult daughters with a total of 6 grandchildren: I would definitely honor my daughter's wishes on masking during a pandemic that killed millions. Yes, Dave mentioned "low-shelf" - the parents are low-shelf for being unwilling to honor her concerns out of respect for her (and probably her spouse's and children's) health. Not worth driving? That says it all. And since when did standing up for your adult concerns equal not having a brain? Her daughter will be just fine without the inheritance from the parents who think her concerns are less important than their beliefs.
Exactly THIS! It’s obvious she didn’t respect her daughter’s wishes even if she doesn’t agree with them. This was probably the last straw for her daughter.
Parents who are not sheep , have a responsibility to show their children what critical thinking and freedom means.
I believe she said trip was two years after pandemic bs. Even today in Aug 2024, there are STILL people wearing masks....alone outside walking.....alone in a car driving with the windows up.... They are brainwashed. It's quite sad.
If the daughter is vaccinated she shouldn't be concerned with other people wearing masks or getting vaccinated. That's the whole point of the vaccine.
Exaaaaactly
I agree she should change her will. If the daughter doesn’t want her family, then that includes money and possessions.
As someone who left my family when I was 16. And I am 28 now. We don't want anything from you. We don't want to hear from you. See you, or get any news about you. We left you for a good reason.
Yep
Go play your video game.
This is got narcissism written all over it. Regular people who don’t deal with narcissism don’t really understand what’s happening here but the parent here is violating the boundaries of a child - which is one of the signature things narcissists do. For those who know nothing about narcissism you may want to check out UA-cam, Dr. Ramani and others.
EXACTLY. In my comment above other people pointed this out and I’m glad more and more people are starting to recognize this behavior has a label.
Or the daughter is the narcissist. 🤷♀️ can’t really tell from this.
@@kathykoeven you can tell based on who’s the one having the issue with a boundary (respecting someone’s boundaries), in this case, the child’s mother and hugs/safety for get kid (even how “crazy” it may seem), grandma should respect that even if it’s “crazy”.
100%. The mom is using the will as a power trip and manipulation tactics while trying to looking like the victim and get pity from others. The bond to a parent is VERY strong. You have to be a REALLY bad parent to have your kid completely cut you off
@@kathykoeven narcs don't cut people off. They try to get people to stay around by being toxic. Narcs love attention. Literally will never push someone out of their lives if they can help it.
I've made the difficult decision to distance myself from my mother, who has consistently caused me emotional pain and exploited me for financial gain. I've reached my breaking point and prioritize my mental health, which has suffered for years due to our toxic dynamic. I'm taking control of my life and severing ties to protect my emotional and financial well-being. No body should be shamed into choosing a mentally healthy life.
I disagree on this one. I have similar circumstances, though not totally cut off. It's been hard knowing she has such a low opinion of me. I wasn't the perfect parent. Still, I would not cut any of my kids out of my will. It's also about bad blood between the siblings after I'm gone.
That’s not the same.
I too wouldn't cut my estranged child out.....
That’s true parental love that this mom does not possess.
Situation is different, if the parent has been good, but the adult child is just a disingenuous prick, well - "I done raised you, the rest is up to you, you can make your own goddamn money, like I did" is pretty much the defacto answer. Adult children who EXPECT an inheritance absolutely do not deserve one.
Much better to mention the daughter and state what she gets (the cookie jar in the kitchen, for example). That would head off lawsuits about forgetting her in the will.
This should not have been a question for Dave.
Mom: "Sorry for not respecting your boundaries. How can we work together to be better and learn from this? What do you need from me?"
From your description, it sounds like you threw a fit because you didn't get the interaction you wanted. Has this happened before?
Your daughter is out of your will. Great. She is also still out of your life. If your relationship with your daughter is of paramount importance, maybe you could swallow your pride and do whatever you need to rebuild that relationship, no matter what you believe to be the reason for the estrangement. Otherwise, you're still going to die one day and all that money won't matter. What will matter is all the time you lost because "it was her fault".
Well said!
I find these boundaries responses fascinating. The expectation is that Mom and Dad should bend to every desire of their daughter but she has the duty to set boundaries. Perhaps being treated as infected was a boundary the parents did value crossing. Why are their boundaries not respected? Best we can tell, Mom and Dad had their invitation rescinded or chose not to go. Daughter flew off the handle choosing to end the relationship over Mom and Dad's boundaries rather than agreeing to simply wait on a meeting until everyone could come to acceptable boundaries.
Read between the lines:
-Parents refused to visit daughter unless they could hug her. They said there was no point in going unless they could interact how they wanted.
-Colorado daughter is being blamed for not going to the wedding, but she wasn't even invited. "We knew she would return it." No, you didn't KNOW.
There’s definitely more to this. My sisters and I had radically different opinions on protocol during the “pandemic” but did not let that get in the way of our relationships. We all just did our best to respect the other persons beliefs and made accommodations for one another.
Why quotes around "pandemic"? You really think it didn't happen?
I believe this was the tipping point. I have known other families deeply divided. One side is called murderers or ignorant for not taking a new therapy, the other side was called cold or gullible for missing milestone events like weddings and funerals. Underlying issues may have been there, but it is hard to get past being called a murderer or having your desire to stay safe considered uncaring.
Not really. Come to Melbourne and speak to anyone who didn’t take the 🥕or didn’t adhere to the “rules”… many of us lost family, friends and our jobs. And yes, literally over something like that because they believed we were dangerous and going to “off” them
There really doesn't have to be more to this. If one person thinks you're a murderer for not adhering and the other person thinks you're not going to control what they inject into their bodies, both vehement in their beliefs, this is a potential outcome.
@@ellencox8415 except we can see one side is clearly wrong. All data shows this.
Maybe they are too embarrassed to be humble and apologize for being so brazenly hateful.
Your work, your money, your choice. I don't think they need any reason to remove her daughter from the will, regardless of if it is more in the story. They worked for those resources and nobody but them is entitled to decide how they should be used.
This helps me. My daughter left because I found out she was doing something harmful to her body, tried getting therapy, then the moment she could leave, she left and has nothing to do with me, her brother, grandmother, aunt or younger female cousin. It hurt us all. She talks to her dad very vaguely, he’s tried finding out where she is or what she’s doing, she won’t even tell him where she works. Be careful of online predators, adults pretending to be their friend, sending inappropriate things to try to change their body. I blame myself for not seeing it sooner. I still have hope she’ll want something to do with us. My text, calls, emails, unanswered.
I hate when a five minute phone call online with a financial guy, not qualified in family counselling, hears one side of a story and gives permanent advice, on what could be a temporary issue, that could affect a family forever. I enjoy listening to his financial advice, but this is just plain wrong
Completely agree.
100%. If you scroll thru comments a ton of ppl just accept this as 100% what happened and that mom was innocent. This is a big problem! There's been no open discussion regarding these topics, only debates ugh
Not permanent advice; he said if the daughter comes back, they can always change the will back.
@@elizabethblane201 The damage and broken trust will already have been done, and what if it doesn't get reversed. Let a family Counceller, experienced in these issues, work it out with them, not a financial guy on the radio.
@@HamiltonRb That would be great if they can work it out in counseling, but in the meantime, don't reward the daughter's hostility with an inheritance.
I think when the mother said, why should we come if we can't even hug u, the daughter took it as rejection, and it got worse from there....
The daughter sounds mental.
My younger son cut me out of his life since 2009. I took him off my will and life insurance policies in 2010. Leaving everything to my other son who I have a very good relationship with.
Good for him. Its obvious he made right choice.
@@usa2121 Don't be mad you are not in the will and life insurance policy.
Not questioning your decision, but I am wondering if that could be contested in court once you're gone as a judge might see it as unfair to that child as they don't seem to care about the why. I've heard of wills being contested all the time and someone getting money they don't deserve.
As it should be!
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
Sorry-a year??? Returned cards?? You gonna let your kid get away that easy? Why don’t you drive out there-make sure everything is ok? If she’s ok-be like-We love you needed to see you with my own eyes, we’re so sorry. . And who pushed who? I don’t agree with the masking and social distancing-but you’re the ones who refused to visit because you insisted on “hugs”. There’s room on both sides. And yes people have lost their GD minds-I don’t agree with Dave on this.
Agreed...I would've driven or flown to see her to resolve the issue.
Some lost their minds. And a lot more lost their lives. Expecially in the Republican parts of the USA.
There's probably more to the story . You don't cut someone off for one offence or disagreement.
Thank you for saying that. For her to cut off the daughter because of a disagreement is ridiculous!!!
@@celpaz4584 her daughter is mentally unstable and brainwashed theirs nothing her mom can do. Completely the daughters fault
Hey some people do!
According to polling data in 2020 families stopped talking to each other over politics. So yes this happens a lot of the time! People are idiots
@@celpaz4584 Didn't the daughter cut her off?
No one is entitled to an inheritance.
My sister extorted money from my mother, helped my father's new wife when she was stealing my mom's pension money (long story) and tried to take control of her life after my mother sold her house (money). There were valid reasons why I stopped talking to my sister prior to some of this. I told my sister to find a third party for communication, which she refused, even refused my brother being the point of contact. She told me that she had no obligation to tell me anything about family if she couldn't directly talk to me. My mother passed away and she was upset that she wasn't told about the funeral, even though I had previously pointed out that if she had no obligation, then neither did I. While she had no issue of not communicating with my mother, she was upset that she didn't get the money. She blames others, especially me, for what she did and she still won't admit that she did anything wrong.
As a mom of an adult daughter I completely disagree with this entire conversation. Like, every aspect of it.
Why?
There is more to it than this. I detect a narcissistic mother who is out for revenge because she couldn’t have everything her way. Dave’s anti-masking position has blinded him to even considering the possibility. It is the daughter’s home and the mother needs to respect the rules and not impose her own views on her daughter and her family.
100% spot on
💯!!! If you listen carefully you can hear hints that this is a controlling person who doesn't respect boundaries and won't be told no. The part about the hug especially.
Bingo.
Old story now, but the daughter seemed like an unhinged-covid-nazi.
This must be the vaccinated section. Don’t forget your boosters ❤️
I have a similar situation with one of my adult children. I have struggled for several years, dealing with the rejection and grief. It came to the point of almost killing me from chronic emotional stress. I know my daughter loves me, and her hatred of me is a byproduct of a serious mental illness for which she is receiving treatment. To me, disinheriting her seemed to be punitive; and, in her mind, could support her misbelief that I loved her less than her sibling. I have chosen to forgive her completely, and the effect on me has been profoundly therapeutic. I wish you luck with your relationships.
Pretty sure the daughter doesn't want her money. My parents were not good people. I didn't ask to be born and I didn't have a say in my parents. Just because you gave birth to them doesn't mean you love them, just ask Casey Anthony.
That's right. Just because you had kids doesn't mean you're right or a good person.
There's definitely more to the story. Sad. I struggle with my own teen and adult kids at times. I feel disrespected, they feel disrespected because of how I react to their disrespect and entitlement. I feel done at times. Then I remember that Christ did not end his relationship with me when I sinned. My father in heaven still seeks a strong relationship with his children when we are imperfect. We have to humble ourselves and turn to one another and keep God in our family and love and forgive. It's not easy, but it will be worth it.
I guarantee you a 100% that the daughter thought about the inheritance when she decided to cut her mother off. But she decided to go forward anyway. The fact that she is willing to give up that money and the mother wants to cut her off, says more about the mother than her.
The mother is most likely a narcissist. Her view of love is transactional. She used money and gifts to buy love. And then expects to control her through it. If her mother genuinely loves her, she would trascend it and leave her an inheritance after she is gone. That would be a true and self-less act of love.
Don’t know bout the mother but yes, I agree that the daughter thought about the inheritance when she decided to go no contact. It’s a hard decision to let it go, but it shows strength of character and integrity
Something is fishy here. The mom said that if she couldn't hug her daughter, then what was the point of visiting? Really? You don't want to at least talk to her, catch up on life, etc? Sounds like Mom has trouble respecting boundaries. There is more to this story.
She could have done like billions of others during the pandemic, and restricted contact to telephone calls, face time, mails and social media.
It isn't like 100 years back, when you could only contact someone by making a house call, or writing a letter.
Adult children get to set the rules in their own homes. The parents did not respect their daughters choices on how to live in her own home. How many other boundaries would they disrespect. They could show unconditional love to their daughter by respecting her boundaries one of two ways either by agreeing to visit on her terms or by agreeing to stay away until daughter happy that danger has passed. They chose neither. Their choice backed her into a corner. Despicable.
Exactly!! They could have gotten a hotel room and met at a public park. Would they also cut the daughter out if she had mental health issues like agoraphobia, hypochondria, or paranoia? What would Jesus do? Sometimes people are irrational, but there's always a way to compromise if you're flexible!!
I agree. In any relationship that you truly care about , leave the door open for communication. Do whatever you can to keep the peace.
@@josiemaromi6981you still wear a mask, don't you?
@@josiemaromi6981The daughter cut her off not the parents
@@jeepstergal4043 Never did, Jesus says forgiveness is the way. Act like an adult.
I agree with Dave it is her money she can leave it to whomever she wants, but she needs to make sure that she works through her feelings because it will eat her alive. You need to forgive your daughter, even if you decide not to leave her any monetary inheritance.
My sister cut my mom off. I told her the same. Cut her off from her will. Maybe the daughter doesn't agree with the parents political and religious beliefs. There is more to the story.
Easy for the golden child to say.
@@SunnyDays70smy sister would probably call me the ‘golden child’- but I have bent over backwards to help the family in every possible way (including her and her children), I have done the hard work of forgiving and have done what was required to build positive relationships etc. I have continued to serve and love everyone through all the hard seasons and never turned by back on anyone. She has been a very selfish and has expected everything to be her way. Harbouring a lifetime of resentment and unforgiveness … Never shown any genuine care or sacrifice- was only around on her terms, when it suited her and even then she acted like she was doing us a favour… I’m sure she thinks I’m some sort of ‘favourite’, but she has no idea how much I have invested into building positive relationships, while she just went off and expected everyone to be chasing her… In most relationships you get out what you put in! It’s a two way street…
"I can't hug & kiss you, so it's not worth visiting you”
No wonder why the daughter doesn’t speak to the mother.
There is definitely more to the story than she is laying on, it would be interesting to see the daughters point of view
I disagree. I have one son who cut me out 15 years ago. I'm hurt, not angry. Hasn't changed the fact that I love him and miss him, so he is still included with his two siblings in everything at my passing.
Because you are a sane, rational, loving mother. Nothing will ever change the fact that he's your son, not even him not talking to you. Not even you taking him out of your will.
That’s very commendable of you and shows your a good hearted person. You wouldn’t be faulted if you did change your will though. I’m sure your son will be shocked to find out he’s in the will when you pass and that will make him feel a certain way about his decision to treat his father like that.
In the end, you have to do what you can live (or die) with. Your life, your money.
I cut my family off.
I do not and did not care about an inheritance.
I believe some parents use inheritance or a will as a means to control their adult children.
I was no longer interested in being controlled by an physically and financially abusive family, so I emancipated myself from them.
It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made.
That said, my life and mental health has improved radically since then, as this was an issue that had been building for over a decade.
I do not think this estrangement was a one-off thing.
I believe it was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Furthermore, I think that woman wants nothing to do with you.
So if you want, cut her out of the will, it won't matter, because you no longer matter to her.
Good luck to you
Thank you Dave for being so understanding about her situation. My son estranged from our family and his friends the day he got married. You are right in about trying to grieve for a living person. It has been 2 years for us and we miss our son everyday. It has been filled with tears, nightmares, thoughts in our heads that we cannot shake. In many ways it is like a death but I have no grave to visit, no closure and no reason why it happened.
We removed our son from our will. We love him but he left our family. We never left him. We have left some money to his future children to help them pay for college.
If he comes back in the future, we can change the will.
Again, thank you for understanding the devastation of estrangement.
So sorry this happened. It has also happened in my family. Good friends, parents, previous employer (who was like a 2 ND Dad) all left in the dust ....after said person got involved with someone on the internet. It's sad and confusing
Very mature
If you leave money to his children, isn't that basically the same as leaving it to him? The money the children get from you is money that he does not have to give them so he can keep that and do something else with it so even though he doesn't get YOUR money, he actually is benefiting from it. Maybe I'm wrong, but just a thought.
@@maryannanderson2213it’s not even about the money . It’s about his choice of cutting all ties. He hates them and so why would he want their money? However the children he doesn’t even have yet are already loved by the grandparents and given that they’ll have no contact or connection it’s their way of showing them they care.
@@flowerpower3618 Clearly, your understanding of estrangement is limited. It is usually not about hate but a resignation that full separation is best for long-term sanity, health, and peace-of-mind. Some people live their lives with very little self-reflection and can only see the world through their eyes and no one else.
1) When gifts are NEVER a gift but an IOU
2) When having conflict going on routinely makes the other party feel alive
3) When the TV and politics are more important that the people around you
4) When love is never unconditional but based on what you have done for them lately
5) When a system created over decades is so burdensome and suffocating you can't get a moment of peace
6) When honest conversations are never open but siloed and hard conversations about real matters are avoided
It may be time to embrace arrangement. Some extended family systems can be so poisonous that keeping them ongoing is a crime. Especially when you have asked for a open conversation about them and the response is: 'I don't see a problem'.
I don't know. The fact she didn't respect her daughter's wishes on not her hugging raises a red flag. I understand that her daughter's fear was irrational but the mother should have respected those boundaries. I'm sure there is more to the story. I also heard no sadness on the mother's voice, only retribution. By the way, I would never cut my kids out of the will unless there were drugs or any criminal activity going on. A parent's love is supposed to be unconditional. This just seems like a final F-you to the kid.
I think Delony needs to be the one to give advice here 😬
I agree. I’ve heard a few calls about writing a family member out of a will and Dave always goes the vindictive route. He’s NOT a Christian. This mom should not change her will.
@@hollyb6885 idk if I’d go that far. I just think a family member, especially a daughter, short of her doing something completely unforgivable, the first answer should always be to try to repair the relationship.
Exactly. I think Delony would have dug a little deeper as to what happened. And he'd have said "why can't you respect when your adult daughter says she doesn't want you to hug her right now.?"
@@EmpressMermaid 100%, he would’ve at least gotten to the bottom of it first.
@@garfieldGG I just think Dave acts holier than thou sometimes when he’s actually being UNchristianlike.
She didn’t respect her daughter wishes to stay safe. Even if she didn’t agree with the daughter. She should have respect it
Yeah, but people are coo coo for coco puffs over this deal. If the vaccine works, she shouldn't have been pushing her family away anymore. It's a psychological disorder brought on my media consumption
@@melanieb2132 there’s also more to story. We are only hearing one side.
Plus the daughter has little kids who she doesn't want to get sick !
@@Elizabeth-yg2mgdo you still believe the 'rona non-sense?
@smittyvidz25fire84 - this aged well. 🙄
I fully disagree with this one. The parents should respect the daughters boundaries. For her to cut them off , she must have had enough. This is fully the parents fault.
Especially since the daughter had cut off her sister just before this. She and the parents must have taken strong positions about Covid that defied general protocols. They brought this on themselves. But stuff has been building for a while, I’d guess.
Ah but neither did the daughter respect her parents boundaries. It goes both ways.
I'd leave her a box full of all the returned letters. Lol
That's a good idea
Toby you dirty dog!
…I like how you think. Can I hire you as executor of my estate?
@@aytcs , Follow her life, I can guarantee there will be no blessing.
@@aytcs , The only blessing for a child is to honor your parents so that all may go well with you.
@@snatchinitback4635 , Can't choose your parents but if your parents are what u described, pray for them and if u are an adult, leave separately.
It sounds like the mom is bitter AND has conditional love for her daughter. Unconditional love means you still love your child even when they don’t meet your expectations. There probably is more to the story.
Unconditional love doesn't mean unconditional tolerance.
I would change the will. One of our children has crossed the line so many times over the last 30 years we finally changed our wills. This decision was not easily made, but needed to be made.
Mom and sister refused to send other sister an invite to the wedding. I’d say mom and sister crossed a line big time. The daughter had her heart broken. Then still opens the door to mom for a visit. Mom insists on coming and hugging and kissing her. Uh, what?? Mom wants to force hugs and kisses or no visit. Mom refuses to come. Daughter has her heart broken again. Cuts off all contact. Mom cuts daughter out of her will. Talk about TOXIC.
@@CO2isfakeyou’re making a lot of assumptions
We have one that has been a problem forever. The other 3 are fine. You never know
@@CO2isfake35 year old daughter had cut off her 34 year old sister months before 35 year old cut off the mom. All their mail was returned unopened. Why send a wedding invitation to someone who’s not going to open it, much less respond? Of course, this is all mom’s story in the video, so who knows what the whole story really is? Am I the only one wondering if this 35 year old is in a relationship with a controlling partner who’s trying to keep her from her family?
i was surprised to hear she was not invited to the wedding, that could have been the start of healing from this!
Sounds like they all just shut down. Sad.
There’s much more to this, the argument was just a symptom of probably years of issues and dysfunction. I hope they find the path to forgiveness and reconciliation. I wish Dr. Deloney was on this particular call. I feel like he would’ve gotten to the core of the issue.
There's definitely something more going on in that relationship. Children don't cut off their parents completely like that if there isn't a bigger longer lasting issue. This mom needs to sit and think what tf she did to cause her child to not want anything to do with her. My spouse hasn't talked to his mother for 6 years, there was a long history of controlling behavior on her part and narcissistic tendencies. It broke the camel's back when she and his siblings basically demanded he not marry me. His mother and father were going through a divorce that was filed by her, at the same time. They were invited to our wedding but they refused to show and thats when my spouse just cut ties. We have a good relationship with his father, but we also didn't want to pick sides in their divorce. (I paid for my own wedding, we didn't have any financial help with it). So there's a whole side to this story that isn't being told.
There's more to the story she sounds toxic think about it she's calling into the show out of anger saying she's going to cut her daughter out of her will could you imagine the trash she talks at church she is what they call passive aggressive.
Thank you Christine for giving actual advice on this call. We love you Dave, but you were 100% biased and not objective on this phone call. This mom is clearly a manipulative mother who needed to be confronted.
The father of the prodigal son did NOT turn his back on his son ever. He had already forgiven the son and sat with plans and expectations WAITING for his return.
Not exactly, father was resigned to son not ever returning, thus the declaration “what was dead is now alive/what was lost now found”.
No one is saying that if the daughter didn't come back tomorrow in full apology and admitting they were wrong that the mother couldn't undo the decision.
Thank you. When the child receives her inheritance, she sees an expression of parental love that never died.
@@Yetizod1But why are we so sure she was wrong? We only hear the mothers side, and she sounds like shes holding something back.
I can imagine how this can be worse than death.
With a death, you can look back with fondness.
But with an estrangement, you look back... and even the good times are tainted by the choice of that loved one cutting you out of their life.
You don't even have the privilege of reminiscing positively on the good times.
Maybe there weren’t many good times for the daughter tho
And it’s shrouded in shame and unending grief.
It’s a new trend.
I think there are very few circumstances where I would cut my children out of my will. Even if they hated me and never wanted to speak with me again, I would still want to give them any kind of blessing I could. I think love does that. I think love doesn’t have conditions or a limit on forgiveness. I want my children to always know, even after I am dead, that all I have ever tried to do in this life was love them unconditionally.
And I would hope my children would do the same for their babies
This! As a mother I agree. There is nothing they could ever do that I’d cut them from my will. It’s a parents job to love unconditionally & set your kids up for the best life you can …especially in this cost of living crisis - even if you feel your ego is hurt or you disagree with their decisions. It’s sad to me seeing all the folks saying “it’s her money she can do what she wants”. Sure legally yes she can. Morally or ethically? You bring children into this world - you’re children don’t owe you anything, in fact the opposite. You get the adult relationship you cultivate/ deserve. If they feel the need to go to the extreme point of self-orphaning, I’d bet there is more than enough that they especially deserve compensation in the form of an inheritance. Cutting out your child is such a transactional way to view your relationship…*to your child* of all people. Honestly cannot understand it at all.
Beautiful comment ♥️
Yes - because it's about who YOU are not about who THEY are
Yeah, my 27-year-old daughter did basically the same thing when I told her men cannot be women