That sounds more like a psychopath. The narcissist is basically running on a computer program; it’s bizarre how a good psychologist can basically map out what this relationship will look like. Main thing early on: listen to your gut instinct, you will be given signs that something isn’t right, don’t ignore, don’t make excuses, don’t allow your own loneliness to blind you.
My hair started falling out when I was with him. I was in the hospital 2 weeks. Crying, with kidney infections. My body was breaking down. Poor evil at its best! I am super healthy away from him now.
My hair fell out when I was with him too it's starting to grow again I had to call a doctor to get Xanax I'm in therapy my God what happens to you when you're there geez you'll die
I have awful problems with my kidneys, I struggle with addiction that he brought into my life, not only mine but my child's hair is falling out! She has suffered the most really and it's time to get out of here. Here's the spoiler: he has me financially strapped, and the housing market is insane right now. I am stuck at the moment but that is not stopping me from being my authentic self. I'm still standing! I feel a little stronger each day but still have lower days. When I get through those, I double love myself and give myself props for getting through it. 🎉 I am not a victim.
GOOD ON YOU...THIS HAS MADE YOU A STRONGER CALMER HAPPIER PERSON.. AND IT WILL GET BETTER IN TIME...PUT YOURSELF FIRST FROM NOW ON...DONT LET ANYONE CONTROL EVER AGAIN MY FRIEND SO PROUD OF YOU BECKY 🇬🇧 🇬🇧 XX
How true, he observed during his silent treatment, I didn't text beg, mirrored his silent TX. Timing. When he finally texted he said he saw in those months I looked very comfortable without him. And would I mind if he deleted his app. acct? I replied short & simple, no I didn't , I knew he wanted to leave a long time ago. Then I went ahead and deleted my acct in the next 30 secs
Welcome to the real world, the world to discover your true self, to love yourself, and to be who God has called you to be, it’s takes God to intervene to make that though decision, congratulations 🙌🏽🙌🏽
Amen 🙏 I'm 7days out of my 19yrs of emotional abuse and with faith in Jesus Christ I am a survivor , praying for all survivors to keep looking up. For our redemption is near, we will be in the new heaven soon 🙏🙌. I'm slowly recovering from it. But through Christ it will speed up the process 🙏🙌
2 years abandoned after 18 years left for dead penniless discarded not a word fled country ran off with mommy. Regrets it trapped. But it was an excruciating 2 years. Oy fading cause my dog needed 8000 in surgery and my dad on his last breath. Betrayal trauma is so bad shows up in Mri but damn I'm glad he's gone. Couldn't reason. Was a monster demon
I knew I was going to be discarded the moment she kept making threats to break up and telling me to date other people. After she left I immediately got a new job at a law firm, got my driver's license, art in an art show in a museum and played in a short film. At this point I'm convinced that victims of narcissism will win
Oh my goodness. Similar story. Ex narc discarded me as well. I got a job as a paralegal, got my own apartment and my driver's license. God is good. We win😊
After being in relationships with 2 covert narcissistic females i was totally prepared for the last one. As soon as the games started i said 'done', walked away and blocked her in social media and blocked her phone number. It was only a few weeks she started trying to come back, sent her friends around, tried to contact through my family. I stood firm and ive never felt better about myself.
30 years of the trauma bond she finally left looking for mr goodbar. She never found it now realizes her mistake but too late I dont ever want to go through that crap ever again.. It destroyed my health and mental health.
I went No Contact two weeks ago. He didn't see it coming. I realize I was only a vessel for his sick perverted games. I've had a couple of sad moments but I realize my life style was based around all of his needs and wants and ignored my own. Thank you for this information ❤
I have found such peace after my discard. At that point, I was literally peeing on myself and stressed out. My body had totally been affected. I’m still mentally healing now and improving everyday.
I've been in a 13 yr relationship and the first 7 were great. The past 6 have been weird. But my health has taken a hit. I have to get my life back to normal. I believe he is just living here for a place to live because I always take care of him. It seems he only cares about himself! Better than I am. I am disabled and he has a good job so I am a charity case.😢😢😢😢😢
I lost probably 70% of my hair and was soooo depressed in the last yr of the relationship! He did me a huge favor by dumping me while I was grieving the loss of my sweet Mom! She is giving me the strength to stay away and learn to love myself! Life is getting better by staying alone with my sweet dog! lol! Many Blessings 🙏💪😁
I know when the discard began, when I gave her the mildest criticism about how she treated her friends. It made me uncomfortable and I asked her not to do it again. That was all it took. They cannot abide ANY criticism no matter how gentle it may be.
We will not listen to your criticism it's when you have no more value in our eyes. When we see something shinier. It's not true we can't take criticizing
My ex narc held a grudge against me when I broke off our 8mth relationship. 15 years later I took him back. I spent the next 4yrs being emotionally abused in an insidious way. He found every way possible to bring me down, make me feel insignificant and running off here and there being the sexual predator that I eventually found out he is. I went no contact and it was the best decision ever. He was out to destroy me, but he failed miserably.
It is 12/16/2023. I ended a relationship just a few hours ago with a Narcissist. I feel like the weight of the world is off of my shoulders. I blocked his number. I really got to the point I hated myself. He asked why.. This started last week when I took a trip to Georgia after he had said bad idea I cant believe I got caught up on such a controlling relationship.. I do feel better already.
I ghosted him for 2 months before he ended the 4 year relationship. But he didn't expect my response. I gave him his key and calmly walked away. He slammed the door behind me when I left.
19 yrs gone in 15 minutes when she came home with the police in tow. I've been smeared, mocked, ridiculed, and made to be hated by friends and family. I lost everything. BUT! I recently told her "THANK YOU" for divorcing me because, it was the best thing she's ever done for me. I let her know that its the best it's ever been in my life. We have a parenting app. I never heard back. But has wished me dead to our children. Oh well! I'm free. God is good. My children love me. 😊
The worst part is when you finally realise the Narc husband is a closet gay/Bisexual. Gaslight me for years . Our second marriages. The first wife finally admitted she was so destroyed as there were 3 in the marriage. The guy he actually made stand as bestman at our marriage. Needed to marry me for citizenship of my country. This video helps me understand why he so poient. Robbed me of my life and my finances. Getting a divorce on grounds of fraud. Can protect my property.
Yup. I definitely had an epiphany that my narc ex is a closet gay/bisexual. He consistently talked about an old neighborhood friend and said man was married with kids. I’m sure they had relations but the friend had obviously moved on with his life and didn’t give a damn about him. My ex had zero friends and I’m sure because ppl from his hometown knew the real him. I lived out of state so it was easy for him to hide these things under the guise of “haters” and being “affluent” etc. he was so homophobic but it was because gay men would out him if given the opportunity. It’s so crazy to look back on all this… cause the signs were there but you live and you learn.
Yes, it's better to love our selves, Just let go, and be happy in life to our own family. Narcissistic people will never love anybody,they only love them selves. Cheater, liar, abuser.Very controlling and so possessive. What comes around,goes around.
That is completely untrue. They are incapable of love as they hate themselves. Never take anything personal when it comes to them, as there is nobody inside them in the first place. They can’t afford to spare the energy to learn anything about love, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissists value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. Loads of them brag about being a good parent and seek compliments for that only to hide their masks. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have close personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection.
Dear Donielle I have listened to a number of people on youtube try to describe what you have so succinctly described. 10 out of 10. You are the best without a doubt. You were talking about my previous relationship with a female narcissist for 18 months. I am an empathetic male of over 70, I see and hear things that most people miss out on due to my background. I trust my instinct and senses, where others over-ride them because of that fuzzy thing called love. We even went to a counselor, and she fooled her. She was a different person when with the counselor. It was amazing. She denies, lies, gaslights, and projects, and that exactly what I repeatedly told her when I finished it for the final time. She was busted, and I was a happy man walking away from her. Narcissists are cold, remote, distant and completely without compassion and empathy. We had some great experiences together, there was love, but there was always the unsettling stench of narcissism in the air. Thank you.
Very correct. Went through hell for 23years in marriage just discovered hes a narc four months ago. Planned my escape and trying to rediscover myself and heal about 2 months now. They are terrible monsters. Chatting from Nigeria
I was the same, 23 years with a covert narcissist. She broke me then left me. I'm 2 years in and still suffering. It's been a slow painful recovery and I've still a long way to go. I'm with you, good luck.
You describe 💯 my to be ex wife exactly. The gas lighting, the projecting, taking zero responsibility for their actions and instead blaiming and accusing you for the exact things they are actually guilty of! The mental and emotional abuse is literally insane and such a form of torture. Then when they are caught cheating, they blame you! When just 2 months before they were actually accusing you of what they were either doing or planning on doing. It is a sedistic and evil form of manipluation! They seem to have zero empathy, remorse, guilt or sorrow. They are cold, callous, completely heartless and selfish. They are pathological liars as well. And the lies they tell their family and friends to take their side is so deceptive. . As i journey through the trauma bond, i cannot believe i endured this for so many years! I cant believe i gave my whole heart and soul to someone who was actually the most abusive, cruelest person I've even known and has worked to destroy me in every way. I regret 24 yrs of marriage w who i thought was my best friend, lover and wife.
My friend, Never take anything personal when it comes to them, as there is nobody inside them in the first place. They can’t afford to spare the energy to learn anything about love, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissists value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. Loads of them brag about being a good parent and seek compliments for that only to hide their masks. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have close personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection.
@@bryanboe9364 Much love brother !! One other thing of note, if you believe "THEY" are the one that made you feel (love) then you are still under their control, you're still wrapped up in their neverending inner darkness/delusions/misconceptions and you learned nothing. The truth is, you were loving YOURSELF the entire time you were interacting with them as they were doing nothing more than mirroring you, there is nobody inside them in the first place therefore there was nobody for you to love but yourself (as they themselves are incapable of true empathy/love). Unless you get over these massive hurdles and understand the bigger picture of Universal spiritual truths in your relationships then you will never be the truly empathic powerful loving being you truly are to love the world/universe and heal the world.
@robertdemeter5793 i do agree with that statement 💯 . I did not get love from the narcisist. I did give my love to them but did not get it back. I loved them in spite of who they really were that i was trauma bonded to them. Now that ive broken free from the trauma bond, my eyes are open to the snake they truly are. I loved the family unit. I know they did not make me feel love. It was in deed my love mirroring off them and now that i have been freed from them , has the viel been pulled away from my eyes. I was indeed nothing but an object for them to use, control, manipulate and fees off of like a parasite. Sucking the life and life out of me.
This is how I know I met a pure evil being and am not crazy or the one to blame even tho I have issues to. She loved loved to point out my depression and use it as a crutch to find happiness for herself with cheating! Yet she made me more depressed then I have ever felt in my life! She loved using my past against me loved using my family issues as a way to hurt me and punish me if someone didnt like her cuz she lies it was my fault and I needed to be punished! They snake u in everyway and use ur reactions as crutch to claim abuse and get things from others like a place to stay or the DMV shelter they ruin ur life intentionally so they can use the story to get another victim! This women did everything and I mean everything u can to fuck someone up every abuse there is u will go through!!! She took things away from me I can't get a license back right now cuz of her putting me in debt and now she brags about her getting hers sicking she ripped up my credentials calls my EBT card to turn it off so I can't eat! Called all my jobs to get me fired or impersonate me saying I don't wanna work for them anymore just cuz I would vent to her about how I didn't like the job and wanted something better but am doing it so we can have money to pay for what we need the sacrifices u make mean nothing to them the sacrifices u make are to ruin u that's why she complained so much when things where moving up that's why they complain or do snaky things to ruin u!!! So they can blame u and call u a loser she ruined everything for me I was homeless, I was in the mental ward I got arrested all cuz of her I hate her! She used me having to go back home as I gave up but she was behind it all and why things never worked or got taken away I was hated for reasons I didn't understand until I found out she was talking bad about me the whole time lying to them about things she was doing and saying to me.. saying I was causing problems insane! The lost and trauma goes on and it's very evil and dark and fucked up and she doesn't care but I know karma has a day some people say no but it does it always does I have had bad and good karma it's true!!!
To help others understand the abuse cycle of narcissism on a much deeper level, you MUST be able to see that is completely impossible to have any sort of deep conversation with them regarding ANY topic that requires inner depth, as they have ZERO depth within, as hells within hells are within them, hence why anything to do with them is so shallow. And when you simply bring up ANYTHING that requires any depth, they will immediately shut down the conversation, deflect, and label/blame shift playing their silly 'victim card'. Again, none of this is 'personal' as there is nobody inside them in the first place. Eye will reveal 4 strikes eye gave the Narc in the 8th and final phase/cycle of the "on and off" nonsense over a nine year period that ended in 2011. This final phase occurred twelve years ago. Eye knew full well this was the last straw and it was either going to work or end forever. An example of this is we initially met over a rock band, the band was Tool. During that final month she asked me what my favorite Tool song was - my answer was the song 'Reflection' .. and her response was dead silence, as she had no clue what to say, she couldn't even muster to ask why, as talking to a brick wall is far better than any conversation with her as she has zero depth, as at least a brick wall can respond with echoes. Of course the lyrics explicitly state the word 'Narcissism', and she is so shallow with absolutely no depth whatsoever she can listen to that song every day for the rest of her life and she will still have no clue what the song means. Keep in mind this is her favorite band, Nevermind the fact that Alex Grey is the Artist for Tool and he has taken Ayahuasca and DMT well over 3O times, another thing that goes way above her head as she has zero inner depth whatsoever, everything about her is shallow. Strike 2 - she claimed for the first time she reminded me of the guy who sexually abused her, a guy she claimed sexualy abused her 10 years before she met me, and who she couldn't stop talking about the first night I met her, nevermind the fact I treated her with utmost respect physically over those years, more than any man ever will, again narcissists always play the victim role no matter what. Strike 3 - I started researching Ayahuasca in 2007, and 2011 brought it up to her that I wanted to take the medicine and experience Ego-Death and experience the other side and grow spiritually. Before I could even end the sentence, she shut me down responding with " I'll die when I die' with incredible trepidation and fear in her voice. She immediately and desperately attempted to change the subject, She had no clue I could have talked about the subject for 3 more hours as I had done tons of research at that point. But again, it is impossible to have any deep and meaningful conversation with a complete narcissist, as there is absolutely nobody inside. Asked myself what the heck is the point of seeking a future with her if she is constantly in fear of talking about the deepest subject matters of life/death, and everything in between. I knew at that time any further interaction with her would be pointless and meaningless. Strike 4 - She came out and stated out of the blue that she is a "Nympho", followed by stating she is very dirty. And this was during the "push" part of her narcissist cycle. It all started to make sense to me. It was so easy to forget about her after that point, it was effortless really, With that said , Mother Ayahuasca in 2012 had me purge the endless poisons from her narcissism forever. Erased her completely, vomited her endless lies, darkness and poisons she tried to implant in me and flushed her down the toilet forever where she belongs. Ayahuasca then said - do you want to follow the dark creature narcissist that only wants to give you nightmares and horrors ? Or do you choose me, who will heal you from everything at lightning speed and I will give you everlasting light within you so strong you'll burst, I will take you through all the heavens and I will make you one of the wisest and most powerful shaman healers that ever lived to destroy narcissism on this planet. I will then give you a human woman filled with light that will love you the way you deserve to be loved. Guess which path I chose !! ;- )
To add - What's so hysterical is my wife understands Tool at a far deeper/higher level that the ex-Narc was totally incapable of, and Tool is not even in my wife's top 10 favorite bands although she likes them. Tool was my ex-narcs favorite band. Example - My wife's favorite Tool song is "flood' and immediately she knew all of what that song means, of course about completely facing yourself, facing the Ego (Within), and the lyrics of "Water rising to and above me, drowning me" simply means the lies of the Ego deep within are coming to the surface of your consciousness during a ceremony taking psychedelics. . And my wife is so bright she knew the lyrics of "This ground is not the rock I thought it to be" means the Earth/Nature is Spirit, not materialism as the narc blindly sees it as. My wife inhabits more spiritual consciousness in the crust of her pinky finger than the narc inhabits in her last thousand meaningless lifetimes combined. Hence why Narcs have ZERO introspection ability. absolutely no self-reflection ability whatsoever. Hence why when you're around them they are constantly aloof and state the dumbest things via their subtle jabs to hurt you as much as possible, they use any means to come and say the dumbest things, as they completely ha-te themselves. Eye cannot stop laughing at their complete stupidity !! Thank - You Mother Ayahuasca !! Infinite Endless Gratitude !!!
Very true, I kind of realised this and now you state it, it is more obvious. No conversations with any depth, like a one sided relationship. I took it to heart that he wasn’t really interested in getting to know me more as not interested enough to discuss and explore anything I would say. All very shallow and unfulfilling. The endless rounds of rejection and that I was always wrong or a bad person. You can be as nice and calm, understanding and kind, they twist all your words and before you know it all hell has been unleashed
I'm about a year out from leaving her. I still ruminate and sometimes even wake up feeling like I'm still in it. I'm befuddled by all the aftershocks. This video helped me today, and I thank you
@col2959 You're right, that was a terrible feeling. I am grateful it wasn't a killshot and that I have an opportunity to recover. Thank you for the support
Glad you got out. My brother was stabbed by his narc gf , hit by car and he went to jail for throwing a rock at an oncoming car trying to run him over again. She has many DV cases against her. I loss two sisters, one, just in September this year All three from narcissist abuse are
Your videos are awesome keep up doing the great work. I met narcissist and after 1.5 months i was able to get rid of him. I figured out from the beginning that he is master manipulator, liar and a cheater but physically attractive as hell. He constantly pulled me down as you explained and i didnt want to live in a mud. Those people have 0% moral values, alcoholics, looking to attach to woman and use her emotionally, financially, sexually. In one word big TRASH! So ladies run away from garbage and respect yourself.
Mine is an alcoholic as well! He was the happiest if we were sitting at the local bar every single day after work!! I wld go just to keep the peace because he always wanted me to go! They are so boring and have a dry personality, think they know everything!! Yuk!! I’m from a family of cut ups! We are always having fun and laughing, while he wld stand bck with a look of boredom on his stupid face!! lol!! Life is good without a Narc in it!! 👏💪😅
Be careful, there's no time limit on a narc. My x is a narc, 35 yrs later she still trys n hook me back. After her running around multiple times. N then she left with my 2 little girls. N she's also remarried to a different man she was running around with. 2 heartaches n drug over dose n broke she sees I live in million dollar home with my beautiful wife. I'm 62 now but they won't stop if they can reach u🤣😎✌️ my life is rich n full with my soul mate NOW❤
Obviously, not everyone is the “one who got away.” But we know if we are. If we poured ourselves into this person and genuinely provided them with the alternative path-the way out of their sad lives-then we were the one that got away. I know to a certainty that they will always mourn that loss, in their disturbed way. They will compare everyone to us (which I literally heard her say) and will never find the true replacement. They are cursed: stuck on an endless loop forever.
When you don't give them what they want,they will ridicle,demean,and insult and accuse you of all sorts infont of everyone,shouting out load and raging
Maybe you don't want to hear it , but they don't give a damn . They will replace you like a toilet roll. This is an advise from narcissists therapists who think that they are the same like you. They don't give a damn about your happiness or sadness, nothing can upset them , they have no feeling or emotions, everything is a game. They don't give a damn so dont even try to give a damn yourself.
Oh they will it's just a matter of time!! They will not care the way we want them to but they will feel and get it all back that's how karma works it's not really for u to enjoy its to teach them a lesson and believe it like I told my ex u will remember me and u feel what I have and do and u will get back all the things u ever said and done to me to ruin my life it's real!
Exactly...been free from my ex female covert narc for 4 weeks...2days after i moved out she had a guy over for the weekend an so far is up to number 4 visitor😂😂 hope she catches the Clap...😊
We used to bake and make huge cookie trays at Christmas. It made him shine when he delivered them to his friends. He won't have my help this year. Before he met me his friends got a couple dozen cookies in a cardboard box.
Married to alcoholic narc for years. Had kids together. You are 100 percent correct about everything you said. Went through messy divorce after boundaries set and watched this person do all of the above and in the end after it was all over, they drank themselves to death in a matter of months. They realized they made a mistake doing all the things you listed and could never face it It’s like dealing with a demon One that can cover the eyes of the unsuspecting or weak and lash out at anyone who sees clearly or shows potential too I understand now that they never knew me and for a long time I did not know or listen to myself It’s over now and the water is clear but listening to your Podcast reminded me of all of it and prompted me to comment. If you’re dealing with this spirit you can defeat it by staying calm under pressure and being true to yourself and your loved ones. You will never go wrong protecting these from what is toxic. One of my brothers would continually say to me “this too shall pass”, and it does. Good luck to all that have this in there lives You are not alone
If you think They are the one that 'made' you feel then you're still under their control/spell, you're still wrapped up in their neverending inner delusions/dar-kness, and you learned nothing. Truth is, you were loving YOURSELF the entire time you were interacting with them as they were doing nothing more than mirroring you, as there is nobody inside them in the first place, therefore there was nobody for you to love but yourself (as they themselves are incapable of true empathy/love). Stating that they made you feel is like saying an empty robot made you feel, or an empty soda can made you feel. And in the same way it's completely ridiculous to think a Narc made you feel anything...As they were doing nothing more than mirroring you in the beginning. Based on a lie and you cannot truly feel for lies. They are completely incapable of processing their emotions, they don't know how to. And that is why when you state that you love them they greatly resent it, they turn you into an enemy and play their games. Because inside they ask themselves- " how can you possibly love this ? ' Unless you get over these massive hurdles and understand the bigger picture of Universal spiritual truths in your relationships then you will never be the truly empathic powerful loving spirit being you truly are to love the world/heal the world. .. Much love !..
After 50 years of covertly abusing me as simpleton husband she started openly projecting herself as source of all good that ever happened to us as family, including ownership of the house I bought to provide a home to her and our children. At the same time she created scenes at gatherings of friends and family to make me look small. Finally she conspired with our tenant as a flying monkey and reported entirely made up accusation of assault against me to police. After 2 years of defence, prosecution had to withdraw the charge and she is reduced to hoover. No thanks. Good riddance.
My jaw drops every ten seconds listening to this. But this message is empowering and not playing the perpetual victim and explains the un-brainwashing process I’m going through.
All of this is so disconcerting. I only learned of this behavior when after years of living a golden love life, my ex left and ghosted everyone he had known for decades to be with a 2x divorcee. Wouldn't have known til I felt this man's energy returning. Someone suggested he may be a narcissist. Lo and behold, this man did do all that they claimed ppl like this do. I just thought he was going through a midlife crisis. We've been together since our teens years til seniors. As devastating as our split was, I just hate the fact throughout our years together I thanked GOD for our union that I loved for decades believing in the biblical marriage. Glad I'm over it bc this man did make me feel that I had done something wrong besides loving him in a true genuine unconditional love this old girl enjoyed immensely.
I work outside the house and started a business so hubby could work from home and make money since he only worked part time . Now he’s divorcing me saying he works harder than me and he doesn’t make enough. Also, that without him, I would not have the business even though I have been paying him well until last year when I found out he depleted all his money. He paid one bill, his phone bill. I reduced the payment since he had no savings. I did not want to be the only one saving when all he did was deplete his money instead of helping me pay off the house. He’s blaming me for making more money even though I work in our home business as well as working full time. Blame. Blame, no self reflection.
Omg you are so spot on. That is me! After 30 years marriage and 4 years apart, 3 of those me being a drunk ..the last year I am now me again..I can do just what I want and I'm content. He's got fomo.. I haven't. 😊
Christ is the darkest ideologies that have ever been conceived. As we were ALL born free and eternal, therefore who is that controlling narcissistic Jesus telling you otherwise that it can only happen through him ? Secondly, why the heck would I want to die FOR you and rob and steal your infinitely sacred and magical manifestations and revelations of experiencing death ? As I died loads of times in Ayahuasca ceremonies and eye would Never ever consider in a trillion years to take that powerful learning experience away from you (or anyone else). That's true divine love.
Christ never existed (completely proven). And Explain how your fictitious god is not the ultimate narcissist ? As narcs need to be praised/validated as they have zero self-awareness, and if you don't praise them they will punish you. Therefore by seeking to be worshiped you're admitting your god has absolutely no self-awareness and has no clue who it is.
Lol. Spot on Donielle. I absolutely agree with you. I've been there for so long and they never cared to know me on a deeper level. They just made up their own versions while people are embracing me with love for who I really am and they hate it. I've noticed this for a while. People in my community that have known me since childhood always showed me love even until this day right in front of the narcs. The narcs were always in conflict with people acting like they were entitled and better than everyone else. Their behaviours caused them to be rejected as a youth and adult so they wear a mask. They decided that they would try to make me feel the way they've always felt by smear campaigns and all the crazy things narcs do. I'm so indifferent now that it doesn't matter what they say or do. I'm being my authentic self and I love it. Even their trauma bonding nonsense is a waste of my time. They are gaining no ground with it. I know they can't love. I know who I am and no one can ever put a distorted mirror to my face and claim that's you. They know now that they've lost me for good and I can never un-see what I've seen. Great video. Thanks.😊
It was unbelievable that in my last hoover attempt he tried to tell me he had done nothing wrong when he lied and cheated on me for over a year. He tried this last time to tell me that he was just friends with her same lie as first hoover but is still seeing her in jail and supporting her and comparing me to her. Absolutely delusional!
Women,and men have been dealing with these type of people for as long as,I can remember, there are women in their 90,80,as went through this type of stuff,all we can do is Pray,and move forward,ask The Almighty,to intervene in your relationship,and watch what happens.Thats just how I feel, every one is free to think how the want.
WOW!! THIS VIDEO IS ON SPOT WITH WHAT IM GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW!! I'm in tears...recently discarded for the umpteenth time...I am not going back ever again
I too was discarded many many times, I recently left after 40 years married. I’m 58 I moved back in with my parents for now. Im never going back to that. Best wishes to you, you’re in my thoughts and prayers.
I’ve watched so many videos, and done so much research. You literally are the very first person that I’ve come across that actually knows what is really going on with the narcissist. That said, I’m at the point in my healing that this is perfect timing that I’m finding your videos and getting this information because I am out of any narcissistic friendships or relationships including family. I’ve ghosted everybody that’s narcissistic. This information is giving me so much information and explaining a lot of things that I didn’t realize .
After 24 yr & 2 marriages to him I finally said enough. I discarded 1-1-23. Happy New Year , he called me in humane. Only for a minute darling. This minute is nothing compared to yrs of lies & betrayal, he had an addiction problem too Yrs of relapse recovery . His last relapse was steroids, social media, gym adoration was his new supply, oh yeah gay porn always showed up too. My life has become health,light & well being. Grateful everyday. I now live each day with new joy!
This is remarkable. I was discarded by my spouse. I suspected narcissistic tendencies but this is an exact description of her behavior from start to finish. Helps me to put things into perspective. Thanks
Your videos always come at the right time in my healing journey 🙏🏻 seem to read where my mind is at and speak the truth that is needed like a balm. It’s been 9 months no contact after I stated a firm boundary that if crossed would result in a consequence that his ego could not risk, then I blocked him on all platforms and moved home. He has no idea where I am or what I am doing, and I wonder at times if he is searching for me or realizes that he was my rock bottom that I needed to catapult me into self love and healing.
I always told the narc. You don’t know him I am. You have to know your partner. She rejected it everytime. That line makes so much since. That was before I found out she’s a narc. She was a classic blamer it was everyone but her. She also engaged in the triangulating me to her ex husband. I’m like the person you are describing is not who I am.
Your explanations are the really flex and simply understandable! I'm going to binge watch your videos...as i am a 17 years survivor of Covert Narcissist abuse,and 3 yrs out here healing! I'm a brand new Subscriber! Watching from my country Tanzania 🇹🇿💕 Cheers.
Great video you nailed it...2 years out...I walked away...he can not believe it. Now he is saying his new supply is dying...in between his sexual comments.
8 days of no contact! Didn't go to a funeral yesterday which was a mixed bag of emotion. I can't be around them and I just have to let go! Although I'm sad I didn't go to my cousins funeral. I also know Narcissists love funerals.
my ex close friend would at first love bomb me, wrap me in with sweet talks like that I'm like her sibling, most of our interactions would involve adult topics. Its interesting how much she changed the moment she got a new boyfriend who was a huge enabler of her bad traits... then when I helped her get more noticed with her hobby, she got herself new friends. You would think that's awesome! Until you realize you are being almost completely discarded, looked down upon, triangulated with her new favorite supplier that's similar to you, still tells you lies how shes there for you while not actually putting the effort into it, devalues you and makes up nonsense to justify her actions and make herself better than you... and when you finally had enough and decide to get better without her influence, shes like, is it that bad? She knew damn well what she was doing and I wasn't going to try anymore. Talking to a wall was more exciting than this self centered, supply hungry individual. She cared more about me doing the supplier role than trying to understand my depressing situation :D These individuals really are showing themselves when you don't supply them with what they want anymore and when they get new people to suck life out of.
Thank you for this video!❤❤ Very imformative and filled with encouragement. The interesting part you mentioned about a narc is rejection at childhood and their minds manifest into imaginary thinking. Just like Narcs convice others whom the Narc is not friends or aquantances and or family that someone is a bad person or criminal and smear the victim in public and online causing job loses, false imprisonment, public harrassment, stalking and bullyung into suicide, devorces, break up best friends, organized mobb assault with 5 10 or more people who are accomplices causing destruction or property, riots bodily harm to the victim or victims up to being murdered in cold blood. This has happens so often around the country and around the world in private and leaving communities, churches, schools, family households mentally, emotionally, socially, relationally and unlawfully damaged. All in honesty i survived a Narc whom i was related to and after i left, i got counseling for mental health, educated myself about people who suffer from NPD (Narcissistic personality disorder) and got a good support of friends. My heart goes out to anyone who suffered at the hand of a narc i understand what thats like God Bless you and keep moving forward. When you focus on rebuilding you your loses will be your gain. Peace be with you! ✌️✌️✌️ if you read this comment section, Thank you.
He had me fooled during the covid pandemic. At first it was great then suddenly my sweet man started to change. I thought at first he might have Asperger's because of his outbursts but one day I realized it was all an act. Such a long story but he tried to kill meband get me fired. All so crazy looking back now. I am glad I had strength to kick him out. It's hard when you love someone but you just know you are done
No they realized it's not that many willing to be the dummy you was for trying to see worth in them & they need a place for validation because they need the attention to survive.
Unbelievable im a super empath even though i say so myself. They know exactly what they are doing. I had a terrible childhood but am an empath thank god. No excuse for what they do . No excuse whatsoever. Evil personified.
U r the best. Thank u 4 being so honest & so realistic with us. Every thing u mentioned about the narcissist is facts. I experienced everything u mentioned about a narcissist & their behavior off & on for two years. God delivered me from that toxic , pathological liar. Narcissist r so phony & so pathetic. Oh my gosh.
I was his replacement supply. He was never over the girlfriend he had in a prison for 5.5 years. I was too strong for him to control and I left. I’m not the one that got away and I’m ok with that. Less hovering
For NPD, projections were more important than real me, even in long-term relationship. And she never had interest to get to know real me. As weird as it might sound, it's so true. I appreciate you said that.
Donielle, I Love your communication skills, and your description of what these narcs are all about, and all the unspeakable pain they caused us!! Looking forward to more of your videos. we empaths have known the truth all along, it's just that many of us were exhausted, from the narcissists wiping their dirty shoes all over us, being their doormat. Never Again. God bless everyone that either left the Narcissist, or found the best way, to get them out for good. God Never want's us to stay and be hurt like they've done to us.
They only miss the supply and attention you gave them. They do not have any remorse for how they treated you.
Amen to that. 🇺🇲
Exactly.
That is so true. The toxic behavior is done subconsciously and it has harmed too many people and damaged our society.
Exactly like a mosquito moving onto the next victim once they’re full.
@@kathrynhogan3387 Facts 💯💯💯💯
They never got a chance to know you because they started the whole relationship with bad intentions!!
That's me too
This is so true.
That sounds more like a psychopath. The narcissist is basically running on a computer program; it’s bizarre how a good psychologist can basically map out what this relationship will look like. Main thing early on: listen to your gut instinct, you will be given signs that something isn’t right, don’t ignore, don’t make excuses, don’t allow your own loneliness to blind you.
My hair started falling out when I was with him. I was in the hospital 2 weeks. Crying, with kidney infections. My body was breaking down. Poor evil at its best!
I am super healthy away from him now.
I just met my big love whom i left 4 year ago. He said - aw your hair grew back nicely -. The body keeps the score
My hair fell out when I was with him too it's starting to grow again I had to call a doctor to get Xanax I'm in therapy my God what happens to you when you're there geez you'll die
I have awful problems with my kidneys, I struggle with addiction that he brought into my life, not only mine but my child's hair is falling out! She has suffered the most really and it's time to get out of here. Here's the spoiler: he has me financially strapped, and the housing market is insane right now. I am stuck at the moment but that is not stopping me from being my authentic self. I'm still standing! I feel a little stronger each day but still have lower days. When I get through those, I double love myself and give myself props for getting through it. 🎉 I am not a victim.
@@cleangal71I'm praying for you and your child. Get out as quick as you can 🙏🏾
GOOD ON YOU...THIS HAS MADE YOU A STRONGER CALMER HAPPIER PERSON.. AND IT WILL GET BETTER IN TIME...PUT YOURSELF FIRST FROM NOW ON...DONT LET ANYONE CONTROL EVER AGAIN MY FRIEND
SO PROUD OF YOU
BECKY 🇬🇧 🇬🇧 XX
Narcs refuse to believe that consequences exist.
1st day out after 48 years.
Everything you need to know has been within you all along. Be compassionate with yourself 🤗🙏🦋
Congratulations! Enjoy each day of your freedom!
How true, he observed during his silent treatment, I didn't text beg, mirrored his silent TX. Timing. When he finally texted he said he saw in those months I looked very comfortable without him. And would I mind if he deleted his app. acct? I replied short & simple, no I didn't , I knew he wanted to leave a long time ago. Then I went ahead and deleted my acct in the next 30 secs
wow. wow wow.. HOW ARE YOU now? I was a peeled zero after 11 months love.
Welcome to the real world, the world to discover your true self, to love yourself, and to be who God has called you to be, it’s takes God to intervene to make that though decision, congratulations 🙌🏽🙌🏽
Amen 🙏 I'm 7days out of my 19yrs of emotional abuse and with faith in Jesus Christ I am a survivor , praying for all survivors to keep looking up. For our redemption is near, we will be in the new heaven soon 🙏🙌. I'm slowly recovering from it. But through Christ it will speed up the process 🙏🙌
😢 it’s been a week for me as well after 13 years of compete HELL‼️ I feel ur pain💔
2 years abandoned after 18 years left for dead penniless discarded not a word fled country ran off with mommy. Regrets it trapped. But it was an excruciating 2 years. Oy fading cause my dog needed 8000 in surgery and my dad on his last breath. Betrayal trauma is so bad shows up in Mri but damn I'm glad he's gone. Couldn't reason. Was a monster demon
it took me 5 months
7 days lol. You ain’t free yet. You’re on break. They’ll be back.
Christianity is By FAR the dar.-kest form of narcissism that exists.
I knew I was going to be discarded the moment she kept making threats to break up and telling me to date other people. After she left I immediately got a new job at a law firm, got my driver's license, art in an art show in a museum and played in a short film. At this point I'm convinced that victims of narcissism will win
Congratulations! How cool to read your achievements 🥳
Oh my goodness. Similar story. Ex narc discarded me as well. I got a job as a paralegal, got my own apartment and my driver's license. God is good. We win😊
Mine got good things while bragging about them to me while she took everything from me and kept doing dirty things to me to keep me down!!
After being in relationships with 2 covert narcissistic females i was totally prepared for the last one. As soon as the games started i said 'done', walked away and blocked her in social media and blocked her phone number. It was only a few weeks she started trying to come back, sent her friends around, tried to contact through my family. I stood firm and ive never felt better about myself.
Goooood for you
You just ghosted her 😉
Yayyyyy!!!!❤😂🎉
I would not let my narcissistic ex-wife back in my life for anything. She had her chance and she blew it.
Way to go! Never go back (take back) abuse!
Attaboy.
No shit
That's how it's done
Demons don’t change..
30 years of the trauma bond she finally left looking for mr goodbar.
She never found it now realizes her mistake but too late I dont ever want to go through that crap ever again..
It destroyed my health and mental health.
THEY ARE ALL USING THE SAME PLAYBOOK.....THIS MUST BE FROM SATAN....SO MUCH CHAOS,CONFUSION&MISERY👹👹👹
Satan is the father of Narcissism therefore God had to throw him out no contact.
They really are
I believe that they are also stalkers.
They are
I went No Contact two weeks ago. He didn't see it coming. I realize I was only a vessel for his sick perverted games. I've had a couple of sad moments but I realize my life style was based around all of his needs and wants and ignored my own. Thank you for this information ❤
I have found such peace after my discard. At that point, I was literally peeing on myself and stressed out. My body had totally been affected. I’m still mentally healing now and improving everyday.
That's satanic 😢they are the devil ❤
I've been in a 13 yr relationship and the first 7 were great. The past 6 have been weird. But my health has taken a hit. I have to get my life back to normal. I believe he is just living here for a place to live because I always take care of him. It seems he only cares about himself! Better than I am. I am disabled and he has a good job so I am a charity case.😢😢😢😢😢
I'm wishing you well you deserve better than him Lisa good luck
Thank you so much.
I lost probably 70% of my hair and was soooo depressed in the last yr of the relationship! He did me a huge favor by dumping me while I was grieving the loss of my sweet Mom! She is giving me the strength to stay away and learn to love myself! Life is getting better by staying alone with my sweet dog! lol! Many Blessings 🙏💪😁
I know when the discard began, when I gave her the mildest criticism about how she treated her friends. It made me uncomfortable and I asked her not to do it again. That was all it took. They cannot abide ANY criticism no matter how gentle it may be.
@sama3033
"No matter what," is right. What little babies they are, and it's not cute either. Rosemary's baby, in fact. Did you see that movie? Lol
We will not listen to your criticism it's when you have no more value in our eyes. When we see something shinier. It's not true we can't take criticizing
They trash talk all their supposed besties.
Step one. I'm not going to do this anymore.
💯
My ex narc held a grudge against me when I broke off our 8mth relationship. 15 years later I took him back. I spent the next 4yrs being emotionally abused in an insidious way. He found every way possible to bring me down, make me feel insignificant and running off here and there being the sexual predator that I eventually found out he is. I went no contact and it was the best decision ever. He was out to destroy me, but he failed miserably.
It took me 6 yrs. I feel 100% myself again.
It is 12/16/2023.
I ended a relationship just a few hours ago with a Narcissist.
I feel like the weight of the world is off of my shoulders.
I blocked his number.
I really got to the point I hated myself.
He asked why..
This started last week when I took a trip to Georgia after he had said bad idea
I cant believe I got caught up on such a controlling relationship..
I do feel better already.
Awesome! Mine started acting different after I had the odasity to go on a 3day hike! Lol!! How dare we do anything that makes us happy!! lol!! 🙏💪😁
Same here
I ghosted him for 2 months before he ended the 4 year relationship. But he didn't expect my response. I gave him his key and calmly walked away. He slammed the door behind me when I left.
19 yrs gone in 15 minutes when she came home with the police in tow. I've been smeared, mocked, ridiculed, and made to be hated by friends and family. I lost everything. BUT! I recently told her "THANK YOU" for divorcing me because, it was the best thing she's ever done for me. I let her know that its the best it's ever been in my life. We have a parenting app. I never heard back. But has wished me dead to our children. Oh well! I'm free. God is good. My children love me. 😊
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
lol!! Awesome! They HATE to know we are happiest being away from them! lol!! 😅
The worst part is when you finally realise the Narc husband is a closet gay/Bisexual. Gaslight me for years . Our second marriages. The first wife finally admitted she was so destroyed as there were 3 in the marriage. The guy he actually made stand as bestman at our marriage. Needed to marry me for citizenship of my country.
This video helps me understand why he so poient. Robbed me of my life and my finances. Getting a divorce on grounds of fraud. Can protect my property.
Narc are very empty people they lie , steal and sleep with anyone both woman and men they are scary
Yup. I definitely had an epiphany that my narc ex is a closet gay/bisexual. He consistently talked about an old neighborhood friend and said man was married with kids. I’m sure they had relations but the friend had obviously moved on with his life and didn’t give a damn about him. My ex had zero friends and I’m sure because ppl from his hometown knew the real him. I lived out of state so it was easy for him to hide these things under the guise of “haters” and being “affluent” etc. he was so homophobic but it was because gay men would out him if given the opportunity. It’s so crazy to look back on all this… cause the signs were there but you live and you learn.
Been 3 years I started planning and 2 years free ❤❤🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉love yourselves and read get smarter ❤❤❤❤❤
Yes, it's better to love our selves, Just let go, and be happy in life to our own family. Narcissistic people will never love anybody,they only love them selves. Cheater, liar, abuser.Very controlling and so possessive. What comes around,goes around.
That is completely untrue. They are incapable of love as they hate themselves. Never take anything personal when it comes to them, as there is nobody inside them in the first place. They can’t afford to spare the energy to learn anything about love, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else.
Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissists value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. Loads of them brag about being a good parent and seek compliments for that only to hide their masks. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing.
They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves.
When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have close personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection.
That’s a misconception that all narcissists come from a broken childhood.
True! Mine cane from a good home as far as I know.
Mak it known that leaving them is the best decision u made !
Dear Donielle
I have listened to a number of people on youtube try to describe what you have so succinctly described. 10 out of 10. You are the best without a doubt. You were talking about my previous relationship with a female narcissist for 18 months. I am an empathetic male of over 70, I see and hear things that most people miss out on due to my background. I trust my instinct and senses, where others over-ride them because of that fuzzy thing called love. We even went to a counselor, and she fooled her. She was a different person when with the counselor. It was amazing.
She denies, lies, gaslights, and projects, and that exactly what I repeatedly told her when I finished it for the final time. She was busted, and I was a happy man walking away from her.
Narcissists are cold, remote, distant and completely without compassion and empathy. We had some great experiences together, there was love, but there was always the unsettling stench of narcissism in the air.
Thank you.
Exactly, they have like a radar that tells them this one is no longer to be messed with. Clowns 😂 run and don't go back!
Very correct. Went through hell for 23years in marriage just discovered hes a narc four months ago. Planned my escape and trying to rediscover myself and heal about 2 months now. They are terrible monsters. Chatting from Nigeria
I was the same, 23 years with a covert narcissist. She broke me then left me. I'm 2 years in and still suffering. It's been a slow painful recovery and I've still a long way to go. I'm with you, good luck.
Six months ago, I didn’t even know what the narcissist was so I totally understand
You describe 💯 my to be ex wife exactly. The gas lighting, the projecting, taking zero responsibility for their actions and instead blaiming and accusing you for the exact things they are actually guilty of!
The mental and emotional abuse is literally insane and such a form of torture.
Then when they are caught cheating, they blame you! When just 2 months before they were actually accusing you of what they were either doing or planning on doing. It is a sedistic and evil form of manipluation!
They seem to have zero empathy, remorse, guilt or sorrow. They are cold, callous, completely heartless and selfish.
They are pathological liars as well. And the lies they tell their family and friends to take their side is so deceptive. .
As i journey through the trauma bond, i cannot believe i endured this for so many years! I cant believe i gave my whole heart and soul to someone who was actually the most abusive, cruelest person I've even known and has worked to destroy me in every way.
I regret 24 yrs of marriage w who i thought was my best friend, lover and wife.
My friend, Never take anything personal when it comes to them, as there is nobody inside them in the first place. They can’t afford to spare the energy to learn anything about love, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else.
Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissists value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. Loads of them brag about being a good parent and seek compliments for that only to hide their masks. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing.
They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves.
When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have close personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection.
@robertdemeter5793 wow! That is so true! What a way to describe my ex and her actions and put that in perspective .
@@bryanboe9364 Much love brother !! One other thing of note, if you believe "THEY" are the one that made you feel (love) then you are still under their control, you're still wrapped up in their neverending inner darkness/delusions/misconceptions and you learned nothing. The truth is, you were loving YOURSELF the entire time you were interacting with them as they were doing nothing more than mirroring you, there is nobody inside them in the first place therefore there was nobody for you to love but yourself (as they themselves are incapable of true empathy/love). Unless you get over these massive hurdles and understand the bigger picture of Universal spiritual truths in your relationships then you will never be the truly empathic powerful loving being you truly are to love the world/universe and heal the world.
@robertdemeter5793 i do agree with that statement 💯 . I did not get love from the narcisist. I did give my love to them but did not get it back.
I loved them in spite of who they really were that i was trauma bonded to them. Now that ive broken free from the trauma bond, my eyes are open to the snake they truly are.
I loved the family unit. I know they did not make me feel love. It was in deed my love mirroring off them and now that i have been freed from them , has the viel been pulled away from my eyes.
I was indeed nothing but an object for them to use, control, manipulate and fees off of like a parasite. Sucking the life and life out of me.
This is how I know I met a pure evil being and am not crazy or the one to blame even tho I have issues to. She loved loved to point out my depression and use it as a crutch to find happiness for herself with cheating! Yet she made me more depressed then I have ever felt in my life! She loved using my past against me loved using my family issues as a way to hurt me and punish me if someone didnt like her cuz she lies it was my fault and I needed to be punished! They snake u in everyway and use ur reactions as crutch to claim abuse and get things from others like a place to stay or the DMV shelter they ruin ur life intentionally so they can use the story to get another victim! This women did everything and I mean everything u can to fuck someone up every abuse there is u will go through!!! She took things away from me I can't get a license back right now cuz of her putting me in debt and now she brags about her getting hers sicking she ripped up my credentials calls my EBT card to turn it off so I can't eat! Called all my jobs to get me fired or impersonate me saying I don't wanna work for them anymore just cuz I would vent to her about how I didn't like the job and wanted something better but am doing it so we can have money to pay for what we need the sacrifices u make mean nothing to them the sacrifices u make are to ruin u that's why she complained so much when things where moving up that's why they complain or do snaky things to ruin u!!! So they can blame u and call u a loser she ruined everything for me I was homeless, I was in the mental ward I got arrested all cuz of her I hate her! She used me having to go back home as I gave up but she was behind it all and why things never worked or got taken away I was hated for reasons I didn't understand until I found out she was talking bad about me the whole time lying to them about things she was doing and saying to me.. saying I was causing problems insane! The lost and trauma goes on and it's very evil and dark and fucked up and she doesn't care but I know karma has a day some people say no but it does it always does I have had bad and good karma it's true!!!
To help others understand the abuse cycle of narcissism on a much deeper level, you MUST be able to see that is completely impossible to have any sort of deep conversation with them regarding ANY topic that requires inner depth, as they have ZERO depth within, as hells within hells are within them, hence why anything to do with them is so shallow. And when you simply bring up ANYTHING that requires any depth, they will immediately shut down the conversation, deflect, and label/blame shift playing their silly 'victim card'. Again, none of this is 'personal' as there is nobody inside them in the first place.
Eye will reveal 4 strikes eye gave the Narc in the 8th and final phase/cycle of the "on and off" nonsense over a nine year period that ended in 2011. This final phase occurred twelve years ago. Eye knew full well this was the last straw and it was either going to work or end forever.
An example of this is we initially met over a rock band, the band was Tool. During that final month she asked me what my favorite Tool song was - my answer was the song 'Reflection' .. and her response was dead silence, as she had no clue what to say, she couldn't even muster to ask why, as talking to a brick wall is far better than any conversation with her as she has zero depth, as at least a brick wall can respond with echoes. Of course the lyrics explicitly state the word 'Narcissism', and she is so shallow with absolutely no depth whatsoever she can listen to that song every day for the rest of her life and she will still have no clue what the song means. Keep in mind this is her favorite band, Nevermind the fact that Alex Grey is the Artist for Tool and he has taken Ayahuasca and DMT well over 3O times, another thing that goes way above her head as she has zero inner depth whatsoever, everything about her is shallow.
Strike 2 - she claimed for the first time she reminded me of the guy who sexually abused her, a guy she claimed sexualy abused her 10 years before she met me, and who she couldn't stop talking about the first night I met her, nevermind the fact I treated her with utmost respect physically over those years, more than any man ever will, again narcissists always play the victim role no matter what.
Strike 3 - I started researching Ayahuasca in 2007, and 2011 brought it up to her that I wanted to take the medicine and experience Ego-Death and experience the other side and grow spiritually. Before I could even end the sentence, she shut me down responding with " I'll die when I die' with incredible trepidation and fear in her voice. She immediately and desperately attempted to change the subject, She had no clue I could have talked about the subject for 3 more hours as I had done tons of research at that point. But again, it is impossible to have any deep and meaningful conversation with a complete narcissist, as there is absolutely nobody inside. Asked myself what the heck is the point of seeking a future with her if she is constantly in fear of talking about the deepest subject matters of life/death, and everything in between. I knew at that time any further interaction with her would be pointless and meaningless.
Strike 4 - She came out and stated out of the blue that she is a "Nympho", followed by stating she is very dirty. And this was during the "push" part of her narcissist cycle. It all started to make sense to me. It was so easy to forget about her after that point, it was effortless really,
With that said , Mother Ayahuasca in 2012 had me purge the endless poisons from her narcissism forever. Erased her completely, vomited her endless lies, darkness and poisons she tried to implant in me and flushed her down the toilet forever where she belongs. Ayahuasca then said - do you want to follow the dark creature narcissist that only wants to give you nightmares and horrors ? Or do you choose me, who will heal you from everything at lightning speed and I will give you everlasting light within you so strong you'll burst, I will take you through all the heavens and I will make you one of the wisest and most powerful shaman healers that ever lived to destroy narcissism on this planet. I will then give you a human woman filled with light that will love you the way you deserve to be loved.
Guess which path I chose !! ;- )
To add - What's so hysterical is my wife understands Tool at a far deeper/higher level that the ex-Narc was totally incapable of, and Tool is not even in my wife's top 10 favorite bands although she likes them. Tool was my ex-narcs favorite band. Example - My wife's favorite Tool song is "flood' and immediately she knew all of what that song means, of course about completely facing yourself, facing the Ego (Within), and the lyrics of "Water rising to and above me, drowning me" simply means the lies of the Ego deep within are coming to the surface of your consciousness during a ceremony taking psychedelics.
. And my wife is so bright she knew the lyrics of "This ground is not the rock I thought it to be" means the Earth/Nature is Spirit, not materialism as the narc blindly sees it as. My wife inhabits more spiritual consciousness in the crust of her pinky finger than the narc inhabits in her last thousand meaningless lifetimes combined. Hence why Narcs have ZERO introspection ability. absolutely no self-reflection ability whatsoever. Hence why when you're around them they are constantly aloof and state the dumbest things via their subtle jabs to hurt you as much as possible, they use any means to come and say the dumbest things, as they completely ha-te themselves. Eye cannot stop laughing at their complete stupidity !! Thank - You Mother Ayahuasca !! Infinite Endless Gratitude !!!
Very true, I kind of realised this and now you state it, it is more obvious. No conversations with any depth, like a one sided relationship. I took it to heart that he wasn’t really interested in getting to know me more as not interested enough to discuss and explore anything I would say. All very shallow and unfulfilling. The endless rounds of rejection and that I was always wrong or a bad person. You can be as nice and calm, understanding and kind, they twist all your words and before you know it all hell has been unleashed
@@tinkerbellUK Of course my dear...Zero depth at all.....That's how we know.
I'm about a year out from leaving her. I still ruminate and sometimes even wake up feeling like I'm still in it. I'm befuddled by all the aftershocks.
This video helped me today, and I thank you
When it happened pens remember that sickening lonely feeling you endured around them at times. Dodged a bullet man
@col2959 You're right, that was a terrible feeling. I am grateful it wasn't a killshot and that I have an opportunity to recover. Thank you for the support
Glad you got out. My brother was stabbed by his narc gf , hit by car and he went to jail for throwing a rock at an oncoming car trying to run him over again. She has many DV cases against her. I loss two sisters, one, just in September this year All three from narcissist abuse are
There is a spiritual part to all of this. I used specific prayers to assist and break that connection. "trauma bond".
They also cruely not invite you to parties,or weddings if they can keep you out,funerals,they need to be the center of attention at all gatherings
Funny you should say that. I forgot he did not bring me along to the wedding of his best friend. When I asked why he said: "You would outshine me".
Your videos are awesome keep up doing the great work. I met narcissist and after 1.5 months i was able to get rid of him. I figured out from the beginning that he is master manipulator, liar and a cheater but physically attractive as hell. He constantly pulled me down as you explained and i didnt want to live in a mud. Those people have 0% moral values, alcoholics, looking to attach to woman and use her emotionally, financially, sexually. In one word big TRASH! So ladies run away from garbage and respect yourself.
Mine is an alcoholic as well! He was the happiest if we were sitting at the local bar every single day after work!! I wld go just to keep the peace because he always wanted me to go! They are so boring and have a dry personality, think they know everything!! Yuk!! I’m from a family of cut ups! We are always having fun and laughing, while he wld stand bck with a look of boredom on his stupid face!! lol!! Life is good without a Narc in it!! 👏💪😅
Once was enough for me, and i went ghost now for 16months
Be careful, there's no time limit on a narc. My x is a narc, 35 yrs later she still trys n hook me back. After her running around multiple times. N then she left with my 2 little girls. N she's also remarried to a different man she was running around with. 2 heartaches n drug over dose n broke she sees I live in million dollar home with my beautiful wife. I'm 62 now but they won't stop if they can reach u🤣😎✌️ my life is rich n full with my soul mate NOW❤
Never let your guard down ever. The narcissist’s are conniving and sneaky.
Obviously, not everyone is the “one who got away.” But we know if we are. If we poured ourselves into this person and genuinely provided them with the alternative path-the way out of their sad lives-then we were the one that got away.
I know to a certainty that they will always mourn that loss, in their disturbed way. They will compare everyone to us (which I literally heard her say) and will never find the true replacement. They are cursed: stuck on an endless loop forever.
They are pros at breadcrumbing
Oh hell no it will never happen AGAIN!!!
When you don't give them what they want,they will ridicle,demean,and insult and accuse you of all sorts infont of everyone,shouting out load and raging
I was told I was fat when I was 10 pounds overweight. Also I was told I'm always broke but I'm on disability and I pay my bills every month.
Maybe you don't want to hear it , but they don't give a damn . They will replace you like a toilet roll. This is an advise from narcissists therapists who think that they are the same like you. They don't give a damn about your happiness or sadness, nothing can upset them , they have no feeling or emotions, everything is a game. They don't give a damn so dont even try to give a damn yourself.
Oh they will it's just a matter of time!! They will not care the way we want them to but they will feel and get it all back that's how karma works it's not really for u to enjoy its to teach them a lesson and believe it like I told my ex u will remember me and u feel what I have and do and u will get back all the things u ever said and done to me to ruin my life it's real!
Exactly...been free from my ex female covert narc for 4 weeks...2days after i moved out she had a guy over for the weekend an so far is up to number 4 visitor😂😂 hope she catches the Clap...😊
I have studied too long to learn all about the nasty,cruel ,self centered narc
We used to bake and make huge cookie trays at Christmas. It made him shine when he delivered them to his friends. He won't have my help this year. Before he met me his friends got a couple dozen cookies in a cardboard box.
Married to alcoholic narc for years. Had kids together. You are 100 percent correct about everything you said. Went through messy divorce after boundaries set and watched this person do all of the above and in the end after it was all over, they drank themselves to death in a matter of months.
They realized they made a mistake doing all the things you listed and could never face it
It’s like dealing with a demon One that can cover the eyes of the unsuspecting or weak and lash out at anyone who sees clearly or shows potential too
I understand now that they never knew me and for a long time I did not know or listen to myself
It’s over now and the water is clear but listening to your
Podcast reminded me of all of it and prompted me to comment.
If you’re dealing with this spirit you can defeat it by staying calm under pressure and being true to yourself and your loved ones. You will never go wrong protecting these from what is toxic.
One of my brothers would continually say to me “this too shall pass”, and it does.
Good luck to all that have this in there lives
You are not alone
Thank you for this.
THANKYOU 👍 KEEP SMILING AND PUT YOURSELF FIRST MY FRIEND
BECKY 🇬🇧 🇬🇧
Don't defend,it makes you look guilty of all they accuse you of,let it roll of your back. Yep your their parent,partner,friend
Supply.
I called him out a few dozen times. I'm a super empath and he has taught me a lot about myself. But I'm still not going back.
So you marry the nice guy, but deep down you can't stop thinking about the narcissist. You broke all the rules for him.
If you think They are the one that 'made' you feel then you're still under their control/spell, you're still wrapped up in their neverending inner delusions/dar-kness, and you learned nothing. Truth is, you were loving YOURSELF the entire time you were interacting with them as they were doing nothing more than mirroring you, as there is nobody inside them in the first place, therefore there was nobody for you to love but yourself (as they themselves are incapable of true empathy/love).
Stating that they made you feel is like saying an empty robot made you feel, or an empty soda can made you feel. And in the same way it's completely ridiculous to think a Narc made you feel anything...As they were doing nothing more than mirroring you in the beginning. Based on a lie and you cannot truly feel for lies.
They are completely incapable of processing their emotions, they don't know how to. And that is why when you state that you love them they greatly resent it, they turn you into an enemy and play their games. Because inside they ask themselves- " how can you possibly love this ? '
Unless you get over these massive hurdles and understand the bigger picture of Universal spiritual truths in your relationships then you will never be the truly empathic powerful loving spirit being you truly are to love the world/heal the world. ..
Much love !..
They will give you compliments for a moment to love bombe you
Yep. So fake
After 50 years of covertly abusing me as simpleton husband she started openly projecting herself as source of all good that ever happened to us as family, including ownership of the house I bought to provide a home to her and our children. At the same time she created scenes at gatherings of friends and family to make me look small. Finally she conspired with our tenant as a flying monkey and reported entirely made up accusation of assault against me to police. After 2 years of defence, prosecution had to withdraw the charge and she is reduced to hoover. No thanks. Good riddance.
My jaw drops every ten seconds listening to this. But this message is empowering and not playing the perpetual victim and explains the un-brainwashing process I’m going through.
Same
All of this is so disconcerting. I only learned of this behavior when after years of living a golden love life, my ex left and ghosted everyone he had known for decades to be with a 2x divorcee. Wouldn't have known til I felt this man's energy returning. Someone suggested he may be a narcissist. Lo and behold, this man did do all that they claimed ppl like this do. I just thought he was going through a midlife crisis. We've been together since our teens years til seniors. As devastating as our split was, I just hate the fact throughout our years together I thanked GOD for our union that I loved for decades believing in the biblical marriage. Glad I'm over it bc this man did make me feel that I had done something wrong besides loving him in a true genuine unconditional love this old girl enjoyed immensely.
I work outside the house and started a business so hubby could work from home and make money since he only worked part time . Now he’s divorcing me saying he works harder than me and he doesn’t make enough. Also, that without him, I would not have the business even though I have been paying him well until last year when I found out he depleted all his money. He paid one bill, his phone bill. I reduced the payment since he had no savings. I did not want to be the only one saving when all he did was deplete his money instead of helping me pay off the house. He’s blaming me for making more money even though I work in our home business as well as working full time. Blame. Blame, no self reflection.
Cut all ties, don't look, no contact.
Omg you are so spot on. That is me! After 30 years marriage and 4 years apart, 3 of those me being a drunk ..the last year I am now me again..I can do just what I want and I'm content. He's got fomo.. I haven't. 😊
Wonderful, run your race sister. Proud of you. Faith in Christ alone. Don't look back. You are a woman of value and worth. God loves you.
Christ is the darkest ideologies that have ever been conceived. As we were ALL born free and eternal, therefore who is that controlling narcissistic Jesus telling you otherwise that it can only happen through him ? Secondly, why the heck would I want to die FOR you and rob and steal your infinitely sacred and magical manifestations and revelations of experiencing death ? As I died loads of times in Ayahuasca ceremonies and eye would Never ever consider in a trillion years to take that powerful learning experience away from you (or anyone else). That's true divine love.
Christ never existed (completely proven). And Explain how your fictitious god is not the ultimate narcissist ? As narcs need to be praised/validated as they have zero self-awareness, and if you don't praise them they will punish you. Therefore by seeking to be worshiped you're admitting your god has absolutely no self-awareness and has no clue who it is.
Lol. Spot on Donielle. I absolutely agree with you. I've been there for so long and they never cared to know me on a deeper level. They just made up their own versions while people are embracing me with love for who I really am and they hate it. I've noticed this for a while. People in my community that have known me since childhood always showed me love even until this day right in front of the narcs. The narcs were always in conflict with people acting like they were entitled and better than everyone else. Their behaviours caused them to be rejected as a youth and adult so they wear a mask. They decided that they would try to make me feel the way they've always felt by smear campaigns and all the crazy things narcs do. I'm so indifferent now that it doesn't matter what they say or do. I'm being my authentic self and I love it. Even their trauma bonding nonsense is a waste of my time. They are gaining no ground with it. I know they can't love. I know who I am and no one can ever put a distorted mirror to my face and claim that's you. They know now that they've lost me for good and I can never un-see what I've seen. Great video. Thanks.😊
This has come from the heart !!!!
It was unbelievable that in my last hoover attempt he tried to tell me he had done nothing wrong when he lied and cheated on me for over a year. He tried this last time to tell me that he was just friends with her same lie as first hoover but is still seeing her in jail and supporting her and comparing me to her. Absolutely delusional!
I just went through this!
What a roller coaster of emotions i had to deal with. And still am trying to cope with.
True !! They want you you to think your authentic self is no good
Women,and men have been dealing with these type of people for as long as,I can remember, there are women in their 90,80,as went through this type of stuff,all we can do is Pray,and move forward,ask The Almighty,to intervene in your relationship,and watch what happens.Thats just how I feel, every one is free to think how the want.
WOW!! THIS VIDEO IS ON SPOT WITH WHAT IM GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW!! I'm in tears...recently discarded for the umpteenth time...I am not going back ever again
I too was discarded many many times, I recently left after 40 years married. I’m 58
I moved back in with my parents for now. Im never going back to that. Best wishes to you, you’re in my thoughts and prayers.
Hope not…. They are unalive…
U are stronger than u think . Do better in life . Let your joy eats them . 😂🎉
I’ve watched so many videos, and done so much research. You literally are the very first person that I’ve come across that actually knows what is really going on with the narcissist.
That said, I’m at the point in my healing that this is perfect timing that I’m finding your videos and getting this information because I am out of any narcissistic friendships or relationships including family. I’ve ghosted everybody that’s narcissistic.
This information is giving me so much information and explaining a lot of things that I didn’t realize .
I love this channel.. you really break this down. Gives me strength to stay NC.. 3 months and counting.
After 24 yr & 2 marriages to him I finally said enough. I discarded 1-1-23. Happy New Year , he called me in humane. Only for a minute darling. This minute is nothing compared to yrs of lies & betrayal,
he had an addiction problem too
Yrs of relapse recovery .
His last relapse was steroids, social media, gym adoration was his new supply, oh yeah gay porn always showed up too. My life has become health,light & well being. Grateful everyday. I now live each day with new joy!
This is remarkable. I was discarded by my spouse. I suspected narcissistic tendencies but this is an exact description of her behavior from start to finish. Helps me to put things into perspective. Thanks
Your videos always come at the right time in my healing journey 🙏🏻 seem to read where my mind is at and speak the truth that is needed like a balm. It’s been 9 months no contact after I stated a firm boundary that if crossed would result in a consequence that his ego could not risk, then I blocked him on all platforms and moved home. He has no idea where I am or what I am doing, and I wonder at times if he is searching for me or realizes that he was my rock bottom that I needed to catapult me into self love and healing.
I always told the narc. You don’t know him I am. You have to know your partner. She rejected it everytime. That line makes so much since. That was before I found out she’s a narc.
She was a classic blamer it was everyone but her. She also engaged in the triangulating me to her ex husband. I’m like the person you are describing is not who I am.
Truth and healing in your words.
Thanks for the soul therapy
Your explanations are the really flex and simply understandable! I'm going to binge watch your videos...as i am a 17 years survivor of Covert Narcissist abuse,and 3 yrs out here healing!
I'm a brand new Subscriber! Watching from my country Tanzania 🇹🇿💕
Cheers.
Oh wow. The thing about their authentic selves being rejected back in childhood...that's wild. I believe that's true.
Great video you nailed it...2 years out...I walked away...he can not believe it. Now he is saying his new supply is dying...in between his sexual comments.
😮
8 days of no contact! Didn't go to a funeral yesterday which was a mixed bag of emotion. I can't be around them and I just have to let go! Although I'm sad I didn't go to my cousins funeral. I also know Narcissists love funerals.
my ex close friend would at first love bomb me, wrap me in with sweet talks like that I'm like her sibling, most of our interactions would involve adult topics. Its interesting how much she changed the moment she got a new boyfriend who was a huge enabler of her bad traits... then when I helped her get more noticed with her hobby, she got herself new friends.
You would think that's awesome! Until you realize you are being almost completely discarded, looked down upon, triangulated with her new favorite supplier that's similar to you, still tells you lies how shes there for you while not actually putting the effort into it, devalues you and makes up nonsense to justify her actions and make herself better than you... and when you finally had enough and decide to get better without her influence, shes like, is it that bad?
She knew damn well what she was doing and I wasn't going to try anymore. Talking to a wall was more exciting than this self centered, supply hungry individual.
She cared more about me doing the supplier role than trying to understand my depressing situation :D
These individuals really are showing themselves when you don't supply them with what they want anymore and when they get new people to suck life out of.
Fuck yes it better than being with them
Going on 9 years trying to get him out.
This is really the best video I have seen on this topic. There is so much truth in your voice. Sounds like the voice in my head. Thank you ❤
Thank you for this video!❤❤ Very imformative and filled with encouragement. The interesting part you mentioned about a narc is rejection at childhood and their minds manifest into imaginary thinking. Just like Narcs convice others whom the Narc is not friends or aquantances and or family that someone is a bad person or criminal and smear the victim in public and online causing job loses, false imprisonment, public harrassment, stalking and bullyung into suicide, devorces, break up best friends, organized mobb assault with 5 10 or more people who are accomplices causing destruction or property, riots bodily harm to the victim or victims up to being murdered in cold blood. This has happens so often around the country and around the world in private and leaving communities, churches, schools, family households mentally, emotionally, socially, relationally and unlawfully damaged. All in honesty i survived a Narc whom i was related to and after i left, i got counseling for mental health, educated myself about people who suffer from NPD (Narcissistic personality disorder) and got a good support of friends. My heart goes out to anyone who suffered at the hand of a narc i understand what thats like God Bless you and keep moving forward. When you focus on rebuilding you your loses will be your gain. Peace be with you! ✌️✌️✌️ if you read this comment section, Thank you.
He had me fooled during the covid pandemic. At first it was great then suddenly my sweet man started to change. I thought at first he might have Asperger's because of his outbursts but one day I realized it was all an act. Such a long story but he tried to kill meband get me fired. All so crazy looking back now. I am glad I had strength to kick him out. It's hard when you love someone but you just know you are done
We arent sticking around to be treated like SHIT!
true for romantic relationships, not parents. they never see the child as an entity
They lie lie lie lie and oh yeah lie
We refuse to be bullied
No they realized it's not that many willing to be the dummy you was for trying to see worth in them & they need a place for validation because they need the attention to survive.
Unbelievable im a super empath even though i say so myself. They know exactly what they are doing. I had a terrible childhood but am an empath thank god. No excuse for what they do . No excuse whatsoever. Evil personified.
U r the best. Thank u 4 being so honest & so realistic with us. Every thing u mentioned about the narcissist is facts. I experienced everything u mentioned about a narcissist & their behavior off & on for two years. God delivered me from that toxic , pathological liar. Narcissist r so phony & so pathetic. Oh my gosh.
I’m binge watching your videos, thank you sooo much ❤
I was his replacement supply. He was never over the girlfriend he had in a prison for 5.5 years. I was too strong for him to control and I left. I’m not the one that got away and I’m ok with that. Less hovering
The most on spot video out there about Narcs!!!!
U are dead on with this vid ❤
Truth spoken from beginning to end.
Ty so much? 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
It has been so hard to give up on someone I fell in love with but you have to you can't help them every thing has been a lie and make believe
For NPD, projections were more important than real me, even in long-term relationship. And she never had interest to get to know real me. As weird as it might sound, it's so true. I appreciate you said that.
Love everything about this and it’s so accurate ❤
I could not say it better my self literally! Lol on the spot 💯💯
Yes, this has helped me so much. Thank you very much. God bless. ❤
Can someone be a Narcissist without realising that he or she is being a Narcissist....!!??
Absolutely brilliant description of a narc. Very well done😊
I haven’t talked to my own family for 11 years until the discard a month ago, now that I am again he’s sniffing around.
Donielle, I Love your communication skills, and your description of what these narcs are all about, and all the unspeakable pain they caused us!! Looking forward to more of your videos. we empaths have known the truth all along, it's just that many of us were exhausted, from the narcissists wiping their dirty shoes all over us, being their doormat. Never Again. God bless everyone that either left the Narcissist, or found the best way, to get them out for good. God Never want's us to stay and be hurt like they've done to us.
I love the the way you put your heart in to this video thank you!