The one who got away | Forever haunting the narcissist

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  • Опубліковано 13 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 110

  • @emmamonroe3311
    @emmamonroe3311 Рік тому +59

    I think they underestimate most of all of their supply, especially coverts.

  • @terridillon3053
    @terridillon3053 Рік тому +95

    They underestimated GOD!
    “God will not be mocked, neither will HIS children.” Amen!

    • @kimberlyfloyd1009
      @kimberlyfloyd1009 11 місяців тому +9

      I agree! By the grace of God, we had the strength to discern the right steps during the discard. There was no form of begging coming from my mouth. I went dark and divorced. Never a word spoken again.

    • @carolovesteven
      @carolovesteven 10 місяців тому +5

      Thank you Jesus! ✨♥️✨

    • @maureenbennett809
      @maureenbennett809 6 місяців тому +2

      AMEN 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

    • @lovewins8045
      @lovewins8045 20 днів тому

      🙌🙌🙌🙌

  • @barbaradewitt8817
    @barbaradewitt8817 4 місяці тому +12

    God the more I learn and understand about these freaks has me sick. I totally know what (not who) he is now and it makes me sick. The monster wasn’t under the bed, oh no. He was in it.
    I’m surviving and getting better and even embracing gratitude for this lesson.❤

  • @tjfSIM
    @tjfSIM Рік тому +77

    It’s this ridiculous ‘push-pull’ cycle where we’re only desirable to them and worthy of respect when they can’t have us. I really struggle with that because it means there is no way to be with them *and* be valued by them. If i take them back when they come crawling, I shatter that scarcity mindset and my value plummets again. If i rebuff them, i feel mean and I can’t be with them. It’s a hopeless no win situation with no happy ending for either party.

    • @uunnoov
      @uunnoov Рік тому +22

      Literally, dead end relationships

    • @mariojanaf5474
      @mariojanaf5474 Рік тому +8

      Basically, that's what they are. Nature. They need this, especially covert/vulnerable.
      They need up and down.
      We don't.

    • @sirg-had8821
      @sirg-had8821 Рік тому +13

      Be mean.
      Burn the bridge while they're standing on it.

    • @Freespiritedqueen
      @Freespiritedqueen 10 місяців тому

      @@sirg-had8821 Better believe!

    • @SuzieQH4812
      @SuzieQH4812 4 місяці тому +2

      @tjfSIM
      So true. . . no man's land. . . but therein lies our answer.

  • @felipemotta797
    @felipemotta797 Рік тому +182

    They cannot fathom the fact that you moved on. After you accept the discard without begging, they crumble, because each one before you made that mistake. When you walk away without doing nothing, you will be forever in their minds, and they will respect you for that, but also want you back. The thing is, they now know that you figured them out, and you will cause another injury rejecting them, so they will forever try to emulate some plan for you to accept them back, and it will haunt them, FOREVER!

    • @scooterpatooter9484
      @scooterpatooter9484 Рік тому +24

      I agree with that, for the most part. I don't think "respect" is the right word, though. Shock, fear, confusion....yes to all those things, but if they ever respected anyone, they wouldn't treat people like objects or a means for their own personal gain-- and they certainly wouldn't abuse you.

    • @felipemotta797
      @felipemotta797 Рік тому +22

      @@scooterpatooter9484 trust me, they respect you, hence the fact that tey don't dare to hoover anymore. If they hoover, they still take you as a joke. But they are not gone, just watching fom afar. It's a skewed form of respect, but respect nonetheless.

    • @scooterpatooter9484
      @scooterpatooter9484 Рік тому +26

      @@felipemotta797 A true narcissist will continue to hoover whenever they tank their lives again-- which they DO, constantly. It's their pattern. Whether it be a couple days, a couple months, a couple years, or a couple decades, they'll continue to try if they can. That's part of the behaviors of a narcissist. The hoover has nothing to do with the one being hoovered, it has EVERYTHING to do with the narcissist.
      I think we all should just focus on respecting OURSELVES-- not one of us needs the respect of a narcissist who isn't capable of healthy, regulated emotions and behaviors.

    • @felipemotta797
      @felipemotta797 Рік тому +1

      @@scooterpatooter9484 whatever makes you sleep at night.

    • @scooterpatooter9484
      @scooterpatooter9484 Рік тому +15

      @@felipemotta797 I wasn't being rude, only expressing my own experience.
      I'm glad your experience is different.

  • @alienpyramid
    @alienpyramid Рік тому +27

    WOW JOE!!!! "Epiphany" maybe that's why she was in my life, I taught HER a very valuable and painful lesson! I was grade A supply and pulled the pin and she went with a downgrade a day later. Slept with me monday night, him tuesday night.
    I do know... she will be searching for me in everyone she meets and I will never be found!

    • @MrBeard-ig5zc
      @MrBeard-ig5zc 4 місяці тому +2

      She taught you a lesson. They don’t learn and they don’t care about you.

  • @richgarey6079
    @richgarey6079 Рік тому +16

    This is where I am right now. They pushed too far and I walked. She then had the gall to text me to say she is going to forgive me for behaving like I did. I laughed out loud. I’ve gone no contact and she can’t figure out what’s going on, why am I behaving like this and I better straighten out real fast. I’m allowing texts to come in to watch the rage build but she’ll get no response. I’m gone for good. Let’s see how long it takes her to realize…

    • @louiseelliott6404
      @louiseelliott6404 8 місяців тому +7

      I’m going through similar. I walked away when he overplayed his hand. The narcissist got a new number to hoover me and contacted me last weekend. Texts are coming in. Phone calls. All ignored. I’m
      Not giving him a sniff of supply. He lost a diamond while playing with stones.

    • @richgarey6079
      @richgarey6079 8 місяців тому +4

      @@louiseelliott6404 Good for you! Hang in there; it gets better and there are good things ahead.

    • @louiseelliott6404
      @louiseelliott6404 8 місяців тому

      @@richgarey6079thank you. Being gone for good is the best case scenario. We’re on the right paths on our healing journeys. It’s all just a massive game to them but it’s game over for them now!

  • @CottonWoodBlues
    @CottonWoodBlues Рік тому +24

    From my narc experience, they dont lose supply. They throw it in the garbage. Then they realize, it wasnt garbage after all. He did expect me to follow him when he left me and went to another city. I told him the year before he left me that if he left me and went to another city, he wouldnt see me again. He said, " you wouldnt do that to me ". I said, "oh yes I will!"..and I did..he has attemoted hoovers with no luck

    • @dodibenabba525
      @dodibenabba525 25 днів тому

      Me too, she once asked me what would happen if you found out I was cheating on you!! I said I'd leave you. She thought she'd put me in a place where I would just accept it......wrong! G'bye 👋

  • @lanadst6745
    @lanadst6745 Рік тому +36

    I did everything for him I even gave him a little girl and after I was being cheated on and got the silence treatment. I knew my days were numbered. I accepted the discard and just left. But the ONLY thing I hope is I will be his Karma after 47 years of broken hearts all because of his behaviour.

    • @karlcroft1130
      @karlcroft1130 Рік тому +11

      You are already his karma, you and that little girl together forever. A connection of love and trust and commitment. A bond that can never be broken. He could only dream of that. That's karma! U got this, you're a winner, you're a team. He's got nothing and nobody real. But he can keep scheming and dreaming. What a life. You and your daughter have bigger plans.

    • @c3909
      @c3909 Рік тому +3

      @@karlcroft1130 👏👏👏❤️

  • @sirg-had8821
    @sirg-had8821 Рік тому +9

    I was the rebound for the one that got away.
    She talked a good game pretending she cared about me. She even had me convinced. She turned out to be who she is.
    She's going to drain my replacement(s) dry and find an excuse to push them away like she did me. None of it will be her fault, and she'll have a new candidate within 24 hours.

  • @stylist62
    @stylist62 Рік тому +32

    Thank you, Narcissist always do stupid things without thinking, you have to allow them to make their own mistakes, they don’t listen, no matter what you do it’s wrong, they hate and resent you for it.
    They throw you away for a fix like an addict.
    It’s all very painful, when they loose your trust it’s down hill from there, you can’t force anybody to have a better life.
    It’s very painful to say enough, not feel sorry for them, there is always a war in your head with them. They are greedy ungrateful Hateful stubborn cruel . He would answer like me, then say I’m just saying what your saying, when you call them out, it’s really creepy the extent they go to accuse you make you look bad, slander is used to get other supply, now you have other toxic ones meddling in your life, it comes out of the narcissists mouth, someone you don’t know has say so how you are. It’s sadistic demonic spirits.
    They are not smart people, the demons in them control them, they are so
    What is cognitive dissonance?

  • @narcdiscardadvocate
    @narcdiscardadvocate Рік тому +34

    Splendid commentary. Please do a video on driving the target temporarily insane. I had read one of your articles on Quora which had revealed this and I was shocked. The covert Narc had pulled me out of character and I knew something was seriously wrong. Only by the grace of God the hook was removed from my soul. Nearly three decades of dating and marriage and I never knew my estranged husband “is a covert Narcissist.” I was in danger and I didn’t even know it until his Mask slipped. I was living & sleeping with the enemy.

  • @ladyvirgo013
    @ladyvirgo013 Рік тому +26

    I was discarded by my husband a month ago. He is shacked up with the secretary from his work. Talk about brutal for me because I had no idea his level of manipulation until the devaluing and discard which happened within 2 months. I need major healing

    • @beckykwamboka7668
      @beckykwamboka7668 10 місяців тому +4

      You will heal and it is a beautiful state to be in. I wish you the very best.

    • @ladyvirgo013
      @ladyvirgo013 10 місяців тому

      @beckykwamboka7668 thanks so much 🙏

    • @Enochrry6024
      @Enochrry6024 3 місяці тому

      It will take some time, one thing I learned is to look within myself and forgive myself for settling for less than my worth. Hey we all have worth or the manipulator wouldn't have been there in the 1st place, getting my things in order and self respect to move on without a permanent link of emotions to my past. Learning from my mistakes and correcting my vulnerabilities with self motivation step by step. And finally gaining the gift of patience, manipulators hate patience because action speaks louder than words and being more observant of people motives because our own desires have to be reality not fantasy.

  • @rochellsiroy7126
    @rochellsiroy7126 Рік тому +14

    Underestimate. Yeah. Evil always underestimate.

  • @JillJaffe
    @JillJaffe Рік тому +36

    I listen to your videos sometimes 3-4 times over. What you cover, was unfortunately my reality. I have now walked away and blocked for the very last time. I gave him my heart and soul- and he tried to rob me of it. I am glad and sad at the same time. I’m still healing.

    • @ladyvirgo013
      @ladyvirgo013 Рік тому +7

      I'm in a similar situation currently after 12 years married. He discarded me for the secretary from his work. So brutal

    • @AngelaAsh-b4w
      @AngelaAsh-b4w Рік тому +2

      It is a shock and sure takes time. JESUS CHRIST and GRACE FOR PURPOSE PRAYERS on you tube saved me. At first all I could do with listen to the prayers and cry, then I would try to pray along with them I could only get a couple words out in the beginning after a while a long while I was able to pray again I just couldn’t even form words in my mind to say. The absence of your world when you are discarded it’s so incredibly unbelievable then you start to believe it but you still can’t understand it how many therapist I’ve been through I can’t tell you. I’ve got a new one. I’m going to try in about four weeks. I wish I could talk to her tomorrow. I don’t know why they really don’t know what to say. They really don’t know if they should believe you God bless us, everyone

    • @CottonWoodBlues
      @CottonWoodBlues Рік тому +5

      Me too..its been several years..but I am better than I was.

  • @jjones4314
    @jjones4314 Рік тому +17

    I don't wish any harm on my exN, but I do hope he realizes one day what he had & lost! He's tried reaching out several times since he left in 2019, but my silence is all he receives in return! He made his choice so now he has to deal with it!

  • @PaulineMesplou
    @PaulineMesplou 11 місяців тому +4

    Can’t agree more. He went beyond my limit thinking I didn’t have one anymore. No begging from him even though I know he hates his current life. He gets crumbs of supply by smearing and blaming me for everything. Thanks for exposing it all so clearly 😊

  • @Mjones4949
    @Mjones4949 Рік тому +24

    They already had the new supply in place.

    • @ladyvirgo013
      @ladyvirgo013 Рік тому +4

      Yup and I called it a couple months prior but of course he denied it. The secretary at his work knew he is married. They are currently shacked up together. Meanwhile I'm in our home with 9 pets. He filed for divorce so.....I'm in limbo currently

    • @Mjones4949
      @Mjones4949 Рік тому +6

      @ladyvirgo9514 she left me with 4 dogs and 4 cats. Never even said goodbye to them, yet she's a huge animal lover. Lol

    • @ladyvirgo013
      @ladyvirgo013 Рік тому +4

      @mikeremer7805 yup. I have 2 horses, 5 chickens and 2 cats. The one female cat was attached to him and he walked past her on his way out like she didn't exist. So evil

    • @Mjones4949
      @Mjones4949 Рік тому

      @@ladyvirgo013 Cruel POS! These people are a waste of skin! His loss... Don't take him back when he comes begging!

    • @ainahaga
      @ainahaga Рік тому +2

      Might be a narsisist all those supply they get in this time we are living in. It is said the world is splitting into 2 earths. Good people on the one earth and narsisists and bad people on the other earth! Let the similar people play with eachother

  • @elinaselene
    @elinaselene Рік тому +17

    He lost me with his cunning unrealistic behaviour trying to juggle me, his job and his options here there and everywhere but the worst thing about it was he projected it all onto me, was complete mental mind manipulation - but now I realise he gave me the greatest gift of all, with every lie, let down, cop out, feigning illness often cancelling plans at the last minute... I have never met anyone quite like this, it was a character like a perfect job description to which he fulfilled 100% He was his own boss working for himself as the Narcissist a career path he chose a long time ago. Thanks Joe & loved the wolfie dog 💜🐺

    • @JinsTechh
      @JinsTechh Рік тому +4

      Definitely gas lighting and blame shifting.

    • @elinaselene
      @elinaselene Рік тому

      @@JinsTechh Yep ....an undiagnosed sociopathic narcissist.

  • @SagittariusBabe87
    @SagittariusBabe87 Рік тому +4

    I can't forget one time He asked me if I still talked to my ex as he said with a smile & smirk. I said no, "He's blocked, I don't want nothing to do with him." (I was being honest abt that. Him on the otherhand, tri-angulated me the whole time against his "ex" & everybody possible.) He then said to Me, "Oh, I can tell you're gonna hurt me." I said, "Well, why you worried? We gonna be together forever." I was so naive. He seemed to know things would eventually end, as they always do with a Narcissist and, that I would cause him a "Narcissistic injury." I was brutally & surprisngly discarded. But, I'm the one that got away & stayed away. Remembering so much abuse, trauma, & recognizing the NPD cycle he put me through, helped me to stay away. I'm actially quite scared of him. That fear has kept him at a great distance & he has been out of my life since the discard. I will forever haunt him & he has hoovered many times.

  • @Ladyjojo695
    @Ladyjojo695 Рік тому +25

    They didn’t care about you while with them so why would they care when your gone!

  • @Blessed591
    @Blessed591 5 місяців тому +4

    Life is a game of boomerangs. . . Thwy suffer painful memories just as much as the victims do . . . Spiritual law of balance . . . Karma . . .

  • @lioubovgrant1935
    @lioubovgrant1935 Рік тому +10

    You making those narcissists look better and better with each video, now they in reverie forever about us... NICE !!! 11K !!! 👍👍👍👏👏👏 Beautiful video! Thank you, Joe ! 🤗❤

  • @TIMP-g2k
    @TIMP-g2k Рік тому +13

    Delusional infatuation on their part.

  • @sonlightpsalm942
    @sonlightpsalm942 11 місяців тому +3

    Indeed, that's the "curse," isn't it? Just thank your lucky stars you escaped their torcher chamber of lies! 😮

  • @JennaJanexxx
    @JennaJanexxx 3 місяці тому +3

    “Narcissists like to *think* they are immune to suffering the consequences of their actions.” 🎯

  • @honestpainter
    @honestpainter 6 днів тому

    You are very inspiring.

  • @UzmaSheikh-o1w
    @UzmaSheikh-o1w 6 місяців тому +1

    THANK YOU, THIS HIT HOME AND WAS MUCH NEEDED. IM GOING THROUGH A NARCISSISTIC RELATIONSHIP AT THE MOMENTXAND THIS FELT LIKE THERAPY....❤....THNX

  • @cruise6898
    @cruise6898 Рік тому +4

    Spot on, Joe, Spot on 😆

  • @dawnhandelman308
    @dawnhandelman308 Рік тому +2

    Thank you ❤ I

  • @markh4926
    @markh4926 Рік тому +4

    This girl wanted to have lunch with me. After lunch we went to my home to sit and talk and laugh and tease and had a great fun afternoon. We set another date. Just three days later she dumped me, being as rude as possible. The following year she would accidentally meet me in parking lot's and I'd say hi, but not much else, I didn't want to go through that again. She wouldn't sit and talk but she'd always do something to embarrass me in front of others. I don't like crazy and am hesitant to meet girls because this has happened with other girls, like a conspiracy to wipe the smile off my face.

  • @maureenbennett809
    @maureenbennett809 6 місяців тому

    Great!😁👍

  • @ainahaga
    @ainahaga 10 місяців тому +1

    Mine will never dare to return. EVER! Cause I put him in place. He knows that I will never ever call him or contact him. And he knows he will be to stupid if he contacts me. He will look stupid too.

  • @LasLejanasAventurasDeSanMiguel
    @LasLejanasAventurasDeSanMiguel 3 місяці тому

    Amen

  • @dodibenabba525
    @dodibenabba525 25 днів тому

    I'm not sure, is this all to make us feel good about it? I'm pretty sure they've just got supply that is clueless so the game can begin again

  • @lindagodwin3680
    @lindagodwin3680 7 місяців тому

    I left the narcissist in 2005 and he hovered me for 15 years. At the time I left I had no idea what a narcissist was or any terminology used in narcissistic behavior was. I didn't know what hoovering was. He was the aging narcissist and he needed me , but I didn't want that . During the years he was hoovering I had him do home repairs around my home. As he aged health problems arose for him. Stage 4 prostate cancer, pre diabetes and renal failure. When he realized I wasn't returning he asked me to marry him , I couldn't do that. He found supply and she became the caregiver, the servant, taxi, and mommy. She took on full-time else where and her time spent with him was now limited. He died alone in his own home by himself. So sad. There is more to this story but he is asleep in death so now the things he said and did are not my focus. Understanding what happened with me and the turmoil he put me and others through is the priority to the path of healing and to become healthy physically, mentally, and spirituality.

    • @flowersofthefield340
      @flowersofthefield340 3 місяці тому

      Their health deteriorates as they are rotten on the inside ☣️

  • @TriniStarr3527
    @TriniStarr3527 9 місяців тому

    🙏💙

  • @Gwendeline
    @Gwendeline 5 місяців тому

    He has his mother bed he sleeps in since he was a baby n now 54

  • @tooquick6
    @tooquick6 10 місяців тому

    How can you overcome this if you are the narcissist? It’s been a long time and it is still painful

    • @flowersofthefield340
      @flowersofthefield340 3 місяці тому

      Learn about the disorder ....... do the work and clean your house home and life from toxicity and evil 😈

  • @AngelaAsh-b4w
    @AngelaAsh-b4w Рік тому

    Yw 😢

  • @innfield8836
    @innfield8836 Рік тому +6

    Narcissists are not evil - at least not deliberately so. They are damaged, and probably aren't fully aware (or aware at all) of the way they are behaving or the effect they have.

    • @jeanpaul4100
      @jeanpaul4100 Рік тому +2

      I disagree. Narcs can be demonic. I have witnessed the demon.

    • @santana5659
      @santana5659 Рік тому +7

      They are aware. My narc said “ ok I get it, I’m a horrible person”. THEY KNOW. But the voices in their head tells them to do it. They can’t help it.

    • @lizp5449
      @lizp5449 11 місяців тому

      That's not my perception, bordering on evil

    • @rubyhughes1990
      @rubyhughes1990 11 місяців тому

      They know exactly what they are doing!!!! Everything is calculated, every thing they do was , or is a part of their plans. They have a plan for you!! After the love bomb, they go back to factory reset, they must be themselves! Evil began to ooz out. Insulting you. Is phase 2 of the plan. Discard phase 3. because like a snake, they need to release the poison. Don't take em back EVER!!

    • @sterlingharris8091
      @sterlingharris8091 10 місяців тому

      Says a " narc?" 😊

  • @alienpyramid
    @alienpyramid Рік тому +4

    I haven't watched all your vids and they are great. But revenge is dangerous! If you discarded the NARC!
    SERIOUSLY!

    • @ainahaga
      @ainahaga Рік тому +1

      I discarded mine and called him 5 days later after I read videoes that scared me, told him if he wanted to see me and then he said no. So he discarded me last and I feel more safe now. No contact for 7 days. 12 days since I was intimate with him, its hard though I miss the intimacy but Id rather go into celibacy again. Practiced 3 years celibacy x 2. I will rather wait for the perfect man who will marry me and who is not a narsisist!

  • @richardlew5316
    @richardlew5316 3 місяці тому

    Karma

  • @JinsTechh
    @JinsTechh Рік тому +1

    Narciggist

  • @KevinOpar
    @KevinOpar Рік тому

    If anyone knows a Taiwanese speech therapist named “Lily,” let me know. She was the one for me.😢 I fixed her car in a parking lot.