i dunno... Lord of the Flies was published in the 50s... i think even young kids were understood to be more capable of looking after themselves than these poorly written non-characters.
as said by a completely inconsequential unimportant character seriously she's set up as a potneital antagonist and then just does nothign important enough to warrant discussing in this review.
@@hannahblurp9360 I just finished watching "The Good Place" on Netflix which I found fantastic and had relatable characters, felt like shouting out some actual good Television :)
This series could had make a lot more sense if they just added a scene where one of the people who developt the simulation said "part of the experiment required we to block the survival instincts of the inmates, so they don't try to escape or find out was going on. But we may had gone overboard with it, those inmates were going to just lay on the beach and die if it wasn't for Chase"
Characters: *Are too lazy to figure out why they're on the island* Same Characters: *Would rather build their own shelter than use the building already there* "Doesn't. add. up."
I have a theory after watching this 3 times (love you mark), maybe the script was minimal and their only command was to complain about everything, thats why they contradict each other all the time, also why that one b$tch repeats her lines over and over, she is just winging it. I can see a show so up its on ass, thinking memory loss means hiding the script to the actors
"guys we've found shelter, a massive hotel. It's got water and beds, and we managed to get there and back in, like, half a day and we're totally fine, not even dirty or covered in sweat or blood or anything. We literally look like we've just been down to the supermarket and back" "Yeah, well, that sounds like too much hard work. We should just stay here, and spend days, maybe even weeks, building our own shelter and beds using only our bare hands. And as for water, we can also build vessels to carry it from the lake several times a day, every day. This seems a lot easier than easily climbing one cliff just one time."
They're basically the average MMO player: fight each other, send each other dirty custom emotes, take off their clothes and run around as near naked as possible, spam the jump key like they're wearing spring boots, and tell anyone who logged in to actually play the game "don't get pressed lol, it's just a game". You say "I-Land", I say "Goldshire".
Imagine gathering this amount of resources to produce a show like this based on a script this bad. Imagine the amount of eye-rolling and loud exhales during the first read through.
I was thinking the same thing. Even the actors (while probably happy to be temporarily employed) must've been like, "Good heavens....do I need a cheque this badly?"
the only actor i recognize was one of the guys who was is Dead before Dawn a college zombie comedy from 2012. he played the EXACT same type of character. Its kinda sad actually
@@joelellis7035 having dated a ''starving actor'' who ended up making it, I would say unless you're very well connected or lucky, you better show up at most roles because you never know who you may meet or who may be there.
"So guys it turns out that this island isn't deserted and that civilization is only a 5 minute walk away." "I am not going anywhere, I want to just lie on this beach and die." And this just goes on for a whole season.
Yeah, but if somebody's gait was smaller and it took 50 steps, it would just be 50 times how many people and that would still be the distance to the sign instead of only 39. That is sound. But it's the direction part that isn't. They had more or less 180 degrees of direction to walk (not into the water). How did they walk right to the sign? Where do you start walking from? From the last person? From the first person? From the middle of all the people?
The undercover government agents immediately breaking their cover once questioned in the slightest broke my brain. It’s official, whoever wrote this show isn’t human. I refuse to believe it. A turtle that crawled towards different writing notes that they then used must of written this. Surely a human writer can’t be this dumb?
What really blows my mind, is how they kept their shirts so white the whole time! I usually make it around 10 minutes before i mysteriously stain my whites.
Yeahh huh. At the end of the day whites get so dingy somehow. If you pay attention, you can literally see the dust setting in from the wind or something lol.
When the woman with the knife says; "You got something and I got something" it would have been great if she cracked her over the head with th conch shell and then the credits roll.
but you see, modern writers do not care about the audience. In their mind, it is important what the characters feel and hink, not how the viewer reacts to them. For modern writers, the characters are not the tool to tell the story to the audience. The audience is graciousky alowed to witness the characters being the story.
@@narutowebby It's kind of old-fashioned now, but calling something an i-world or an e-market literally means it's online or electronic. It's probably even still obvious to a lot of people today, seeing as one of the comments above compared it to Apple and technology.
It gets ridiculous how an old lady actually kicked so many of the guards into submission, one would think that after 25 years her muslces would be atrophiated memory or not
That's the problem with these Netflicks series: there's barely enough content for a 90 minute movie and they stretch it out to seven or more episodes. In the 80s this would have been a single episode of a television show, and it would have worked as that.
It would've been one of those failed TV pilots that got turned into a "movie" of two episodes squashed together, then covered by Mystery Science Theater.
The writers probably thought the "learning our names is enough for one day" girl would be a fan favorite because she is dark and brooding, and also a supposed "voice of reason" ...
@@NathanTarantlawriter ( _she's_ not the one with ... k, the one OP was talking abt is petite and has her shirt buttoned ALL THE WAY UP lol .. the mean red head)
When the guy said “maybe we’re on a work trip” and she responds “this isn’t teambuilding” I thought the twist would be that this was all a test run simulation used by workplaces to literally do just that. Kinda like an advanced escape room. The issue then would be the awkward dynamics when they wake up from the simulation after having tried to rape each other, kill each other, etc. I feel like this would’ve been an interesting twist
The actress playing the bitchy redhead especially, her character is so hateable and awfully written in a show so badly received that it might end up killing her career...
I’m so glad to find out this show is just as confusing as I thought, I’m waiting on an autism diagnosis and I really thought i was just not getting it bc I’ve recently learned my brain doesn’t work like other people. Good to know the writers are the problem lmao
I remember watching Gilligan's Island with my grandfather when I was little. And I remember him saying the professor can invent a lot of things except for a way to get off that damn Island.
Ten minutes into the film, I noticed an odd occurrence where two female characters seemingly developed a sudden animosity towards each other, despite having no prior connection. It was puzzling because they had both awakened in an unfamiliar location and had no reason to harbor such hostility. It felt implausible that they would instantly despise one another without any logical basis. Additionally, another glaring issue was that these characters couldn't initially comprehend why they were wearing identical outfits, which seemed quite nonsensical. Moreover, it was evident that the writers neglected to consider basic everyday hygiene protocols. It's highly unlikely that one's breath would remain fresh in the morning, and strangely, the female characters appeared to have glossy lips and flawless skin as if they were wearing makeup. The series took a disappointing turn when it prematurely revealed that the characters were actually part of a simulated environment, thus robbing the viewers of the anticipation and satisfaction that would have been derived from future episodes.
I don't know about you, but as a white dude who has spent a lot of time outside without immediate shelter, taking clothes off is the last thing to do. Good luck with that 3rd degree sunburn on a deserted island.
Mark as one of the cast members written as himself would have been hilarious!!! And the “magnetic force field” doctor was the writer of this disaster. 🤣🤣 this explains why his character was there.
The worst part is that the name doesn't even make any sense. At first you think "Oh, it's called I-land because it's some sort of electronic/virtual place, right?". But then it later turns out the "i" means "1" because it's the first island. So in reality it's just a lame pun, but one that only works with the first island you build, because as soon as you make another one then it'll stop making sense. I swear, this show has to have been written like a game of telephone.
Agent:"Did you read the I-Land script I sent you?" Actor:"Yeah, man, but this is really shyte. It's like a bit of Lost with a shot of The Tempest, the characters and dialogues are like from a Theatre of the Absurd/Teenage Drama hybrid, and then - big twist - it's just a matrix like prison VR simulation that is a play on the punishment speculation of simulation theory. Lots of other en vogue themes like domestic abuse and capitalism criticism but I have no idea what the message is supposed to be if there is one at all. It just feels like somebody had a nice idea and then lots of people added their own thing and after 20 rewrites everybody just gave up." Agent:"Yup. Pretty much. And it really doesn't pay that well, they only have 14 million for 7 epsiodes. But it is shot from mid october to mid december in the Domenican Republic when the weather is the nicest. So basically it's gonna be a 2 month all-inclusive vacation with lots of rum based cocktails and a lot of temporarily single people ... if you know what I mean." Actor:"Where do I sign?"
I heard a story about someone finding a beautiful big shell on the beach, and right at the moment he reached for it, a big centipede crawled out. I was hesitate to even pick up shells on the beach after that, let alone blow them.
I live in Hawaii and use to work as an entertainer in Waikiki. Trust me, you can't just blow into a conch shell to make a sound. You actually have to blow into it like a trumpet. Which is difficult if you have never done it before.
when the first girl asks the second girl about if she found anything and says "so we have two things" and the second girl pulls the knife out i was 100% expecting her to say "nope. i have two things" also who wakes up on an unknown beach and thinks "well at least i have a shell. i could have nothing but i DO have one thing, a shell" bitch youre on a beach, look around a bet you could have a dozen "things"
Even if you went with the "we both have one thing each", you could've very easily rewritten it from "super confrontational super hostile bitch" to "rather cautious reasonable person" (which seemed to have been the intent with KC) if you just went "yeah, we have two things. But I'll keep the knife." Ofc you would've to rewrite her from being a childmurdering psychopath who for no reason constantly calls Chase a bitch and goes after the rapist for zero reason, but that's just the dumpsterfire of a script on display.
It's a good thing whoever dumped them on this Island made sure their legs and bikini line were waxed. How thoughtful for the moment you might want to go swimming.
good think they made sure to style their hair as if theyre about to say "easy breezy beautiful cover girl". love how they have amazing make up, 0 stains, and no sand in their hair what so ever
The aim was to knock out the competition, then become worse. It's like when a corporation undercuts its competition through underpricing, then when it has eliminated them, it cranks the prices back up.
@@anonb4632 even the original shows they created which used to be great are declining in quality. Nobody I know thinks season 3 of the crown or stranger things were the best.
I come back and watch this every couple months because it's mind-blowing that not only did a group of people write this but then a group of people read it and thought "We need to get this to the masses ASAP!"
My friends and I watched this show quite a while ago and we ended watching half of it mute, coming up with new lines on the spot and voice acting them. That was funny. Sad thing is that you could just watch it mute for a long while and when you turned on the sound again you wouldn't have missed a thing. Also our version of thr show was a lot more fun and also made more sense eventhough we were just going with random stuff.
This is really a lifetime series, every guy is a rapist, stalker and mass murderer while the women are conveniently moral sympathetic killers driven to do bad things by men OR it was really the men which is the case for two women. lol
As far as I can tell, reading up on the history of the show, it doesn't appear that this series actually had writers, just numerous producers taking writing credits. Is it really possible that Netflix would have looked at this situation and said, "Good, here's your $2,000,000 per episode now run with it." Well, apparently they did, because according to the internet the series cost around $14 million total.
I started watching this show accidentally on mute...and the first few minutes completely silent were fantastic. Then she met other people, I realized my mistake and lasted about 5 more minutes before I turned it off and never watched again.
Here's my rewrite of The I-Land: as they begin starving they contemplate eating someone. Eventually, one of them kills themselves and so they eat that person. As they're all eating, some fireworks go off and they realize they're on a vacation hotspot, with hotels just over the hill
I gave you a sub for this. I tried to watch this show when it first came out. I only made it through the first episode. I was curious about how it ended… but not curious enough to suffer through the rest of it. Thanks for taking one for the team. :D
Mark, you were hitting on all cylinders this episode 😭😂🤣 I haven't seen you freaking out at such bizarre writing/acting since your review of The Ring reboot. I laughed hard throughout this entire episode with 21:45 being my favorite part.
I guess FanboyFlicks is kinda like my uncle: friendly, gives me an unexpected gift from time to time, a lot in common... Except I would have preferred if Mark took my virginity.
The relatability of the characters comes from the diversity of the cast, obviously. You relate to them based on genetics rather than actions, behaviors and "making sense."
out of context the title '' The I-Land'' sounds like the future of the apple corporation, Like this is what happens to the people who dont read the terms and conditions on their I-phones
Remember that Disney show "Flight 29(?) Down" that show that was about those teenagers who crash landed on an island? That show and those characters acted more rational than the ones in this show
That reminds me one of my main critics about Lost. I could not understand why the various characters were constantly hiding important survival information. Find a plane wreckage? Keep it secret! A door in the jungle? Secret! A pirate boat? Let's not tell anyone. An underground base full of equipment and food? Secret!
@Dayspring It's not so much about real secrets but how important information did not propagate as they should within the survivors. I could be wrong but I think that this happened with the polar bear. So in S1E2 a polar bear is killed by a group of 6 and I am pretty sure that several episodes later (or even seasons), it is revealed that another character is not aware of the presence of polar bears on the island. I checked S1E3 and it seems that the group of 6 'forgets' to warn the other survivors about the presence of aggressive polar bears on the island.
So KC had an abusive husband, but instead of killing him, she killed her kids and herself? That's like if you're at a picnic, and there's a fly buzzing around, and you hit everyone with the flyswatter, including yourself, but let the fly go free.
Not giving credit to the writers but this isn't unheard of at all, unfortunately. The logic is that they "take away" their most prized things in their life and ruin their reputation with the public and friends/family after their death (regardless of what the spouse is actually like, though he was an abusive pos here). Or they're so dysfunctional mentally that they think they're doing the kids a favor by the murder-suicide. They tried to show that KC has terrible taste in men/is subconsciously attracted to abusive people as a hint to why she's on the island but it's kind of lost with a script like this and the fact that the character itself is just awful.
- yeah its sad but it does happen in real life. Maybe abusive people are good at identifying really mentally weak people to form relationships with. then the added stress of that, coupled with their retarded inability to simply leave the situation leads them to finally snapping, but with such low intelligence they can't even identify the right problem to attack, that being their partner, or at least just themselves. I mean, if they were strong and rational people they wouldnt put up with an abusive relationship to begin with, so expecting them to snap in a way that actually makes sense is always just wishful thinking on our parts.
@@Babidi111 Victims *seem* to be just as attracted to abusers as abusers are to victims. I've known enough people who ALWAYS end up in shitty relationships to have decided that this is a universal truth.
Mark, your skin looks incredibly green. Are you using all led fixtures set to daylight temp (5600K)? May I suggest either white balancing your camera, or adding at least one or two incandescent bulbs in the room to give your skintone a more natural appearance.
This show is like a DnD campaign derailed by lazy players who argue their point with "That's what my character would do." The poor DM, who is DMing for the first time, has no idea how to deal with a party of unwilling players and cannot continue his planned plot.
I can feel the painful struggle of your description. I think if I was in the DMs position, I would've lost my shit and told everyone to fuck off and go home
We are here to nitpick right. 10 people wash up from the ocean and have been faceplant unconscious for an unknown amount of time. Not a single stain on their pure white button up shirt.
Nonsense. The I-Land is SO GOOD that I had to stop watching midway through the first episode. That's how good it is. I was overwhelmed. It's better than GOT season 8!
This looks like a B version of Westworld that they had to retroactively make into a prison rehab simulation to avoid getting sued. Would kinda explain the branding on the shell, skull, and silly "mystery".
6 місяців тому+1
Been watching Mark for years and keep in my mind I’m an off and on kind of smoker, but this Marks videos are even funnier when you’re stoned. I’m laughing my ass off lol.
The steps between the people multiplied with the amount of people just leads to the last person who was lying there??? So whoever it was, someone already woke up next to the sign
I watched and read Lord of the Flies a number of times, so if present or future me wound up on an island with a conch, I'd blow it. When meeting the group of other people, I would also continually remind them that "I have the conch," a reference to Lord of the Flies that I would not expect the other islanders to "get". The fact that they did not get this reference would amuse me, and I would continue to make it, and I would get even louder with my "I HAVE THE CONCH!" bellows until they got tired of me, overwhelmed me, and beat me to death with the conch.
Comparing the characters to high schoolers isn’t fair. Kids in The Lord of the Flies were more competent on their first day than these clowns.
This does come across like the premise of a YA novel, though.
The conch is the key to all of it...🔑
i dunno... Lord of the Flies was published in the 50s... i think even young kids were understood to be more capable of looking after themselves than these poorly written non-characters.
High schoolers today are less mature than children in the 50's... hell adults suck nowadays too.
even birdemic makes sense compared to this shit
“Learning our names is enough for one day.” while stranded on a deserted island is the dumbest and most hilarious thing I’ve ever heard.
Food and shelter can wait. I'm bad with names
Let's go swimming too
How did nobody think SHE was hiding shit???
Whoa, whoa, whoa.... I have a middle name? Can we leave that for next week?
as said by a completely inconsequential unimportant character
seriously she's set up as a potneital antagonist and then just does nothign important enough to warrant discussing in this review.
The character attitudes and laziness is incredibly annoying and I'm only listening to a review!
I assume this is what the creators of this show think all millennials are like
@@k38-w4x maybe the children of the writers are exactly like that
I know I was getting so frustrated listening to the clips. I wanted to reach through the screen and strangle the characters
@@hannahblurp9360 I just finished watching "The Good Place" on Netflix which I found fantastic and had relatable characters, felt like shouting out some actual good Television :)
The dynamic between this cast is what group projects in high school used to feel like.
This series could had make a lot more sense if they just added a scene where one of the people who developt the simulation said "part of the experiment required we to block the survival instincts of the inmates, so they don't try to escape or find out was going on. But we may had gone overboard with it, those inmates were going to just lay on the beach and die if it wasn't for Chase"
This show feels like a high budget censored pornography, where it's all set up but nothing happens.
The dialogue and acting surely sound like something out of a porno
It should have just been a huge orgy
thats aan insult to pink films
It looks like a version of Lost.
True, if these people all got naked and starting banging each other, the dialogue would make a lot more sense!
Characters: *Are too lazy to figure out why they're on the island*
Same Characters: *Would rather build their own shelter than use the building already there*
"Doesn't. add. up."
say it again.
Shit doesn't just happen.
It's not like it's magic
I have a theory after watching this 3 times (love you mark), maybe the script was minimal and their only command was to complain about everything, thats why they contradict each other all the time, also why that one b$tch repeats her lines over and over, she is just winging it.
I can see a show so up its on ass, thinking memory loss means hiding the script to the actors
I just realised that the black chick is the same one from After Life, which was also a bat shit crazy series.
The missing "S" in The I-Land stands for "Script."
They probably should of included a letter S...
I'd go for Instant Show, but okay. XD
Touche!!! Well said
*should've
S is also Story
*have
"guys we've found shelter, a massive hotel. It's got water and beds, and we managed to get there and back in, like, half a day and we're totally fine, not even dirty or covered in sweat or blood or anything. We literally look like we've just been down to the supermarket and back"
"Yeah, well, that sounds like too much hard work. We should just stay here, and spend days, maybe even weeks, building our own shelter and beds using only our bare hands. And as for water, we can also build vessels to carry it from the lake several times a day, every day. This seems a lot easier than easily climbing one cliff just one time."
"You guys found a freakin' *hotel* ? But, well, does it have jacuzzis? Cuz we ain't movin' from this beach unless it has jacuzzis!"
This is like playing a role play game but you purposely choose the bad dialogue everytime lmao
“dO yoU CoMpLy?”
They're basically the average MMO player: fight each other, send each other dirty custom emotes, take off their clothes and run around as near naked as possible, spam the jump key like they're wearing spring boots, and tell anyone who logged in to actually play the game "don't get pressed lol, it's just a game".
You say "I-Land", I say "Goldshire".
Roll for initiative
"These little puzzles are hilarious because it doesn't .."
Doesn't what, Mark? It doesn't *add up* ?!
Andrew O'Donnell
Doesnt do the dishes? Doesn’t fart in bed? Doesn’t fall asleep after sex?
Just doesnt... it just doesnt.
You guys are hiding something..
@@salud7432
Hi Bud👋
Zero Cool I want to make like a tree.
Discovering the book only to throw it away immediately has to be one of the most unintentionally sadly symbolic scenes ever.
WHO HAS TIME TO READ ON A DESERT ISLAND. WE GOT MYSERIES TO NOT SOLVE AND FOOD TO NOT SEARCH FOR.
Whoever wrote the pilot obviously never read a book, so it stands to reason they'd have a character toss one aside like it's worthless.
Ok Boomer
@@JeanneFeisont triggered a bit?
@@JeanneFeisont dafuq is that supposed to mean, in this context? Are you one of the idiots on the i-land?
Wow. This looks so painfully dumb. Bless you for watching this crap for us.
@tdmr travesty?
Lol Mark suffers so we don’t have to😂😂
Right?
Imagine gathering this amount of resources to produce a show like this based on a script this bad. Imagine the amount of eye-rolling and loud exhales during the first read through.
Looks to me like a lot of starving actors needing a paycheck. A lot of no names with CW charisma and skill, although I did recognize Bruce McGill.
I was thinking the same thing. Even the actors (while probably happy to be temporarily employed) must've been like, "Good heavens....do I need a cheque this badly?"
the only actor i recognize was one of the guys who was is Dead before Dawn a college zombie comedy from 2012. he played the EXACT same type of character. Its kinda sad actually
Imagine being so desperate for work that you, as an actor, read the screenplay, and say “yup I’m on board”
@@joelellis7035 having dated a ''starving actor'' who ended up making it, I would say unless you're very well connected or lucky, you better show up at most roles because you never know who you may meet or who may be there.
"So guys it turns out that this island isn't deserted and that civilization is only a 5 minute walk away."
"I am not going anywhere, I want to just lie on this beach and die."
And this just goes on for a whole season.
If you woke up holding a shell, would your first instinct be to blow it?"
Yes. It might be the Conch signal and Mermaid Man could save me.
dont forget barnacle boy!!
I’d ask it a question first, actually
h8r Raider barnacle MAN!
Yes is my answer too. It's like people never read Lord of the Flies. I have the conch, I am the leader.
justin fwibber Why would I read a book that’s unavailable in my area?
The characters clothes are whiter and cleaned pressed like in a detergent commercial 😂😂😂
They're all dressed like Peter Griffin...
strontiumXnitrate Wait, is this show just Lost if Lost started off badly?
This show is Discount Lost, @@Gloomdrake, as far as I am concerned.
Adam Gray That’s an answer to my question, thanks
Nope, it’s a Tide ad ✨
Everyone has different sized steps. Measuring by steps doesn't add up. *_IT DOESN'T ADD UP!!_*
Yeah, but if somebody's gait was smaller and it took 50 steps, it would just be 50 times how many people and that would still be the distance to the sign instead of only 39. That is sound. But it's the direction part that isn't. They had more or less 180 degrees of direction to walk (not into the water). How did they walk right to the sign? Where do you start walking from? From the last person? From the first person? From the middle of all the people?
@@thedude5295 You´re so right Dude
@@davidhirt9129 Yup. Usually people's noses are pretty good at smelling bullshit, but their brains just can't figure out exactly why it's bullshit. ;)
@@thedude5295 except for the part where 39 is the magic number she uses to unlock the box with the gun
@@ronmatry Hmmmm... Good point. You clearly have put a lot of thought into this. They should hire people like you instead of whoever writes this crap.
The undercover government agents immediately breaking their cover once questioned in the slightest broke my brain. It’s official, whoever wrote this show isn’t human. I refuse to believe it. A turtle that crawled towards different writing notes that they then used must of written this. Surely a human writer can’t be this dumb?
I'm not surprised by humanity's stupidity anymore xD
Ooooh yes they can. The average person SUCKS at writing. And when you write by committee this is the quality you get
So you ae saying aliens live among us, and they write script for survival, that looks like a random MIB scene....
So you ae saying aliens live among us, and they write script for survival, that looks like a random MIB scene....
Chase at first: Finds things to help everyone better their situation
Everyone: HOW DARE YOU!!!
What really blows my mind, is how they kept their shirts so white the whole time! I usually make it around 10 minutes before i mysteriously stain my whites.
Maybe it's the simulation washing them. Nothing sus 😆
Yeahh huh. At the end of the day whites get so dingy somehow. If you pay attention, you can literally see the dust setting in from the wind or something lol.
"Stain my whites" sounds like a fancy term for shitting your undies lol
🤦🏽♂️
@@x_VineM_x lol, i can't believe i didn't even catch that!
You're on the beach for a full day and NO-ONE gets sand up their ass? Nah.
When the woman with the knife says; "You got something and I got something" it would have been great if she cracked her over the head with th conch shell and then the credits roll.
Funny how this show acts as though the island being a simulation is some kind of twist, *when the title all but gives it away.*
but you see, modern writers do not care about the audience.
In their mind, it is important what the characters feel and hink, not how the viewer reacts to them.
For modern writers, the characters are not the tool to tell the story to the audience. The audience is graciousky alowed to witness the characters being the story.
I, uh, didn't think the title was giving away the twist. But, you know, it did make me think "so, Apple? Social media?".
I don't get it ho is the title a giveaway? Does I-Land mean something or?
@@narutowebby "I" by it's own like that typically refers to information. It's a strong hint that there's something artificial about the island.
@@narutowebby It's kind of old-fashioned now, but calling something an i-world or an e-market literally means it's online or electronic. It's probably even still obvious to a lot of people today, seeing as one of the comments above compared it to Apple and technology.
It gets ridiculous how an old lady actually kicked so many of the guards into submission, one would think that after 25 years her muslces would be atrophiated memory or not
That's the problem with these Netflicks series: there's barely enough content for a 90 minute movie and they stretch it out to seven or more episodes. In the 80s this would have been a single episode of a television show, and it would have worked as that.
Stranger Things quickly comes to mind. Yuk.
It would've been one of those failed TV pilots that got turned into a "movie" of two episodes squashed together, then covered by Mystery Science Theater.
All of them act like they just woke up on set with no memory of ever having read the script, and the director is an extremely hormonal teenager.
This feels like live action representation of those wattpad teen romances..the worst ones of them 🤦🏻♀️
I wheeze-
omg were stuck in a deserted island and were trying to find civilization... lets kiss. literally sounds like you sister playing with her barbies
That would make sense. Netflix has an awful habit of optioning Wattpad travesties.
So this show didn't jump the shark - it was pushed into it...
The shark refused to be jumped by this show. It was an affront to his dignity.
"it's too hot here..."
Says that while the strong wind blows his hair across his face...
Not to mention: Blowing in a conch does nothing unless the shell is modified.
The writers probably thought the "learning our names is enough for one day" girl would be a fan favorite because she is dark and brooding, and also a supposed "voice of reason" ...
😂😂
nope, just a child killer.
Nah she is jsut the "STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER" or in terms of netflix: "BITCHY FOR NO REASON"
The Big Ts are supposed to make her a fan fav.
@@NathanTarantlawriter ( _she's_ not the one with ... k, the one OP was talking abt is petite and has her shirt buttoned ALL THE WAY UP lol .. the mean red head)
When the guy said “maybe we’re on a work trip” and she responds “this isn’t teambuilding” I thought the twist would be that this was all a test run simulation used by workplaces to literally do just that. Kinda like an advanced escape room. The issue then would be the awkward dynamics when they wake up from the simulation after having tried to rape each other, kill each other, etc. I feel like this would’ve been an interesting twist
This would be great! Sounds like something black mirror would do.
Wish somebody had made *that* show..
You just gave a better show plot than the actual show.
That was her way of saying she would not be contributing whatsoever
Whoever commits the worst crimes becomes the new CEO!
I feel bad for the actors. They probably thought "oh im gonna be in the next LOST".... and then they read the script.
I'd feel bad for them if they weren't all terrible actors.
Yea if they were actually good actors, then i'd agree :P They just saw dollar signs and ran with it, more like.
Agents for actors say to their clients that if a studio calls asking if you can play a certain part you always say yes no matter what.
@@JohnS-il1dr I guess the thinking is that bad exposure is better than no exposure..
The actress playing the bitchy redhead especially, her character is so hateable and awfully written in a show so badly received that it might end up killing her career...
I’m so glad to find out this show is just as confusing as I thought, I’m waiting on an autism diagnosis and I really thought i was just not getting it bc I’ve recently learned my brain doesn’t work like other people. Good to know the writers are the problem lmao
I feel like showrunners are just having competitions between themselves at how dumb they can make a show and still have it made and create fans.
💯👍🏼
how can a character who immediately starting problems with other people expect someone to like her
What a stoo-pid remark! BTW: Can you please help me *survive* here?
I remember watching Gilligan's Island with my grandfather when I was little. And I remember him saying the professor can invent a lot of things except for a way to get off that damn Island.
I think they were in hell and Gilligan was Satan
He didn't want off the island, he wanted to be stuck there with Mary Ann, as would anyone.
@@doctorthirteen5727 true
@@doctorthirteen5727 Do you think the Professor was a Mary Ann or a Ginger kind of guy? I was always partial to Ginger, myself.
@@zenhaelcero8481 both would be his students, one will do anything for an A while the other is thinking about that D
"ALL HAIL THE MAGIC CONCH!!"
Onetnec Ghoti 😂
Why are you speaking when I have the conch!?
All hail the glowcloud
WE GOTTA DROP THE LOAD
Can I have a sandwich?
MARK YOU GOTTA COVER I-LAND 2! WHEN IT COMES OUT! 😂 THIS VIDEO IS HILARIOUS!
Ten minutes into the film, I noticed an odd occurrence where two female characters seemingly developed a sudden animosity towards each other, despite having no prior connection. It was puzzling because they had both awakened in an unfamiliar location and had no reason to harbor such hostility. It felt implausible that they would instantly despise one another without any logical basis. Additionally, another glaring issue was that these characters couldn't initially comprehend why they were wearing identical outfits, which seemed quite nonsensical. Moreover, it was evident that the writers neglected to consider basic everyday hygiene protocols. It's highly unlikely that one's breath would remain fresh in the morning, and strangely, the female characters appeared to have glossy lips and flawless skin as if they were wearing makeup. The series took a disappointing turn when it prematurely revealed that the characters were actually part of a simulated environment, thus robbing the viewers of the anticipation and satisfaction that would have been derived from future episodes.
*Acts logically when stranded on a deserted island.
The I-Land: “We don’t do that around here”
and that's exactly why one of them ends up loosing a hand. because she's a fucking idiot.
We don't like them thinkin' types 'round here, boi.
"There's no such thing as smart here. It's just dumb or dumber.
to be fair, most character are criminally insane in the show. (including the warden, and the prison guards, etc..)
It's a Netflix movie. It's not made to be taken seriously
I don't know about you, but as a white dude who has spent a lot of time outside without immediate shelter, taking clothes off is the last thing to do. Good luck with that 3rd degree sunburn on a deserted island.
But you know, aaaaaaabsss
That would mean that these characters were smart. 😂
😆😆😆💯
As a black dude the sun and nature does not hate me
Did they even have any drinking water? Running around getting dehydrated would be a huge problem
So this is like some sort of terrible remake of “Lord of The Flies”.
The conch had me thinking that right away. The writers must be really lazy to bite so much out of that movie and not even credit it..
@Aaron A420 Oh, if only.
Or the Bear Grylls laugh fest.
More like "Lost of the Zoomer Flies"
The conch shell made me think of Lord of the Flies right away. Except, you know, Lord of the Flies is actually good.
I have to say, "the Chicken soup" prank is hilarious !!!
Mark as one of the cast members written as himself would have been hilarious!!! And the “magnetic force field” doctor was the writer of this disaster. 🤣🤣 this explains why his character was there.
So, since when are Humans ferromagnetic? XD
All I need to know is that it’s called “I-Land” for me to know it’s going to be complete garbage
The worst part is that the name doesn't even make any sense. At first you think "Oh, it's called I-land because it's some sort of electronic/virtual place, right?". But then it later turns out the "i" means "1" because it's the first island. So in reality it's just a lame pun, but one that only works with the first island you build, because as soon as you make another one then it'll stop making sense.
I swear, this show has to have been written like a game of telephone.
@Heavy Metal Collector
Hadn't got to that part yet, that's amazing 🙈 can't believe they actually did that
Agent:"Did you read the I-Land script I sent you?"
Actor:"Yeah, man, but this is really shyte. It's like a bit of Lost with a shot of The Tempest, the characters and dialogues are like from a Theatre of the Absurd/Teenage Drama hybrid, and then - big twist - it's just a matrix like prison VR simulation that is a play on the punishment speculation of simulation theory. Lots of other en vogue themes like domestic abuse and capitalism criticism but I have no idea what the message is supposed to be if there is one at all. It just feels like somebody had a nice idea and then lots of people added their own thing and after 20 rewrites everybody just gave up."
Agent:"Yup. Pretty much. And it really doesn't pay that well, they only have 14 million for 7 epsiodes. But it is shot from mid october to mid december in the Domenican Republic when the weather is the nicest. So basically it's gonna be a 2 month all-inclusive vacation with lots of rum based cocktails and a lot of temporarily single people ... if you know what I mean."
Actor:"Where do I sign?"
Anue Mokita Lots or surprise sex too, apparently
I heard a story about someone finding a beautiful big shell on the beach, and right at the moment he reached for it, a big centipede crawled out. I was hesitate to even pick up shells on the beach after that, let alone blow them.
Yep. Put your ear up to it lol
I live in Hawaii and use to work as an entertainer in Waikiki. Trust me, you can't just blow into a conch shell to make a sound. You actually have to blow into it like a trumpet. Which is difficult if you have never done it before.
"It doesn't...add...up!" Wow, didn't expect her to start reviewing the show. How meta.
when the first girl asks the second girl about if she found anything and says
"so we have two things"
and the second girl pulls the knife out i was 100% expecting her to say
"nope. i have two things"
also who wakes up on an unknown beach and thinks "well at least i have a shell. i could have nothing but i DO have one thing, a shell" bitch youre on a beach, look around a bet you could have a dozen "things"
Even if you went with the "we both have one thing each", you could've very easily rewritten it from "super confrontational super hostile bitch" to "rather cautious reasonable person" (which seemed to have been the intent with KC) if you just went "yeah, we have two things. But I'll keep the knife."
Ofc you would've to rewrite her from being a childmurdering psychopath who for no reason constantly calls Chase a bitch and goes after the rapist for zero reason, but that's just the dumpsterfire of a script on display.
It's a good thing whoever dumped them on this Island made sure their legs and bikini line were waxed. How thoughtful for the moment you might want to go swimming.
And chests. I've never understood the need to look pre-pubescent by removing all body hair.
@@anonb4632 it started with female neoteny which then lead to male feminization.
good think they made sure to style their hair as if theyre about to say "easy breezy beautiful cover girl". love how they have amazing make up, 0 stains, and no sand in their hair what so ever
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@anonb4632 amen to that! It's just strange to have absolutely no body hair as an adult. But I'm not one to judge others. It's just my preference.
I swear Netflix has just given up all attempt at quality control....
The aim was to knock out the competition, then become worse. It's like when a corporation undercuts its competition through underpricing, then when it has eliminated them, it cranks the prices back up.
@@anonb4632 even the original shows they created which used to be great are declining in quality. Nobody I know thinks season 3 of the crown or stranger things were the best.
@@lw3646 Amazon Prime is going down a similar route. The first two series of the Man in the High Castle were impressive, the last one a cop out.
Oh just wait till those fools trot out some movie called "Cuties"...
But it makes it more fun and dangerous. If every show was overly curated and tested it would take away so much fun.
I come back and watch this every couple months because it's mind-blowing that not only did a group of people write this but then a group of people read it and thought "We need to get this to the masses ASAP!"
Thanks for a great review. I had not heard of the series until this, and now I'm spared from ever watching it!
The Island of failed careers of one shot wonders and one shot onlys.
Oh man but by gum all the female characters are stunning. They might recover in a Dallas it was all a dream fashion 🤣🤣🤣
Mr Sosha Da baad Man
Yea chase is thick
I only know that one chick from Death Race with Jason Statham.
An island of has-beens and never-wases.
K.C. is played by Kate Bosworth. I immediately recognized her.
Maybe you should check out her filmography to see what she's accomplished.
"And if you die on the island, you die in real life." What is this, A Nightmare on Elm Street?
Oh, it's a Nightmare. . . but on My Street
No, it’s the matrix, but...... stupider. Sorry, I meant to say stoopider.
@@MegaDcmp lol will smith
I got flashbacks to that beach scene in _A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master._
Nightmare on Netflix
My friends and I watched this show quite a while ago and we ended watching half of it mute, coming up with new lines on the spot and voice acting them. That was funny. Sad thing is that you could just watch it mute for a long while and when you turned on the sound again you wouldn't have missed a thing. Also our version of thr show was a lot more fun and also made more sense eventhough we were just going with random stuff.
Usually that is a case of style over substance, but this show somehow have neither.
This is really a lifetime series, every guy is a rapist, stalker and mass murderer while the women are conveniently moral sympathetic killers driven to do bad things by men OR it was really the men which is the case for two women. lol
As far as I can tell, reading up on the history of the show, it doesn't appear that this series actually had writers, just numerous producers taking writing credits. Is it really possible that Netflix would have looked at this situation and said, "Good, here's your $2,000,000 per episode now run with it." Well, apparently they did, because according to the internet the series cost around $14 million total.
"It's like Lost meets The Matrix.... except it sucks." classic
Why are they all dressed like Peter Griffin?
it was the cheapest costume they could think of
They want the characters to match his intelligence. As they act as he would if he were cloned a several times.
same IQ.
The actress who plays KC is... doing her best but it seems like she’s mad a the script lol. Love the video
Well she used to have a halfway decent career. Poor Kate
Can you blame her? 😂
Jacob Seed is my husband i feel so bad for her... And While We Were Here was such an amazing film :///
@@cannibalbunnygirl Blame the agent.
She was a producer on the show
I started watching this show accidentally on mute...and the first few minutes completely silent were fantastic. Then she met other people, I realized my mistake and lasted about 5 more minutes before I turned it off and never watched again.
Here's my rewrite of The I-Land: as they begin starving they contemplate eating someone. Eventually, one of them kills themselves and so they eat that person. As they're all eating, some fireworks go off and they realize they're on a vacation hotspot, with hotels just over the hill
The guys just found out their names are Brody and Donovan. That is enough for one day.
Your production was much more entertaining than the show could ever be . Thank you for saving 4.5 hours of my life .
This is the kind of show that makes Tommy Wiseu look like Martin Scorsese.
Hell, this is enough to make Neil Breen look like Scorsese
At least Tommy is original.
Hell, I'd go so far as to say Kubrick
Actual dialogue at 20:27... -"Beds" - "Beds?" -"Beds" -"Wow" -"Really?" -"Really?"
Pure genius. Comparable only to Travolta in The Fan. I have to poo.
I gave you a sub for this.
I tried to watch this show when it first came out. I only made it through the first episode. I was curious about how it ended… but not curious enough to suffer through the rest of it. Thanks for taking one for the team. :D
Mark, you were hitting on all cylinders this episode 😭😂🤣
I haven't seen you freaking out at such bizarre writing/acting since your review of The Ring reboot. I laughed hard throughout this entire episode with 21:45 being my favorite part.
Mr. Porter Yeah I enjoyed this one a lot! I hope he can find more shitty tv series to review!
catastrophic3 Netflix’s Daybreak or Daybreakers is pretty awful
He was freaking out so much he started morphing into Jerry Seinfeld. (Not that there's anything wrong with that) 😅
“Forget survival instinct , let’s just....bang it out “ 🤣🤣🤣🤣
FanboyFlicks is like everyone’s uncle who’s really cool. Both are really cool guys. Nice.
I guess FanboyFlicks is kinda like my uncle: friendly, gives me an unexpected gift from time to time, a lot in common...
Except I would have preferred if Mark took my virginity.
This has been most entertaining, wish most reviews were done like this! 😂
The relatability of the characters comes from the diversity of the cast, obviously. You relate to them based on genetics rather than actions, behaviors and "making sense."
out of context the title '' The I-Land'' sounds like the future of the apple corporation, Like this is what happens to the people who dont read the terms and conditions on their I-phones
Now that's a better idea for a show.
This whole show... It just doesn't add up
"Shit doesn't just happen." 😂
@@monsterhanna6691 what are you saying?
Man, I guess they'll give anyone a series on Netflix...this means I have a chance!
This actually seems like very realistic behaviour based on how my colleagues act when faced with a new task.
Anything anybody puts in my hand, the first thing I'm doing is blowing.
[searches frantically for kazoo]
Remember that Disney show "Flight 29(?) Down" that show that was about those teenagers who crash landed on an island? That show and those characters acted more rational than the ones in this show
I remember my sister watching a show called "The Tribe" that was somewhat like that.
If i woke up holding a conch shell on a beach i would immediately think its lord of the flies and go sharpen a stick to make a spear
You're better off finding a nice fist-sized rock first. You need something sharp to sharpen the stick with.
The characters are lazy because the writers are lazy. It's a real life representation.
Ten minutes in, I suddenly remembered that I've seen this series. This video explaines my amnesia.
That reminds me one of my main critics about Lost. I could not understand why the various characters were constantly hiding important survival information. Find a plane wreckage? Keep it secret! A door in the jungle? Secret! A pirate boat? Let's not tell anyone. An underground base full of equipment and food? Secret!
@Dayspring It's not so much about real secrets but how important information did not propagate as they should within the survivors. I could be wrong but I think that this happened with the polar bear. So in S1E2 a polar bear is killed by a group of 6 and I am pretty sure that several episodes later (or even seasons), it is revealed that another character is not aware of the presence of polar bears on the island. I checked S1E3 and it seems that the group of 6 'forgets' to warn the other survivors about the presence of aggressive polar bears on the island.
So KC had an abusive husband, but instead of killing him, she killed her kids and herself? That's like if you're at a picnic, and there's a fly buzzing around, and you hit everyone with the flyswatter, including yourself, but let the fly go free.
Not giving credit to the writers but this isn't unheard of at all, unfortunately. The logic is that they "take away" their most prized things in their life and ruin their reputation with the public and friends/family after their death (regardless of what the spouse is actually like, though he was an abusive pos here). Or they're so dysfunctional mentally that they think they're doing the kids a favor by the murder-suicide.
They tried to show that KC has terrible taste in men/is subconsciously attracted to abusive people as a hint to why she's on the island but it's kind of lost with a script like this and the fact that the character itself is just awful.
Okay, but the mental image of someone slapping everyone with a flaswapper except the fly is hilarious xD
- yeah its sad but it does happen in real life. Maybe abusive people are good at identifying really mentally weak people to form relationships with. then the added stress of that, coupled with their retarded inability to simply leave the situation leads them to finally snapping, but with such low intelligence they can't even identify the right problem to attack, that being their partner, or at least just themselves. I mean, if they were strong and rational people they wouldnt put up with an abusive relationship to begin with, so expecting them to snap in a way that actually makes sense is always just wishful thinking on our parts.
Oh, you’ve been to my in-laws for a bbq? Hand-eye coordination is not as universal as one would hope. 😆
@@Babidi111 Victims *seem* to be just as attracted to abusers as abusers are to victims. I've known enough people who ALWAYS end up in shitty relationships to have decided that this is a universal truth.
Mark, your skin looks incredibly green. Are you using all led fixtures set to daylight temp (5600K)?
May I suggest either white balancing your camera, or adding at least one or two incandescent bulbs in the room to give your skintone a more natural appearance.
Is skins a natural green hue
Shut up, nerd.
Incandescent bulbs will only make it harder to get proper white balance.
This show is like a DnD campaign derailed by lazy players who argue their point with "That's what my character would do."
The poor DM, who is DMing for the first time, has no idea how to deal with a party of unwilling players and cannot continue his planned plot.
I can feel the painful struggle of your description. I think if I was in the DMs position, I would've lost my shit and told everyone to fuck off and go home
The first thing I said to myself “but dude, it’s a conch shell!” Lol, seriously.
We are here to nitpick right. 10 people wash up from the ocean and have been faceplant unconscious for an unknown amount of time.
Not a single stain on their pure white button up shirt.
Nonsense. The I-Land is SO GOOD that I had to stop watching midway through the first episode. That's how good it is. I was overwhelmed. It's better than GOT season 8!
I guess she had chicken fingers.
Aaron Lambert highly underrated comment
This looks like a B version of Westworld that they had to retroactively make into a prison rehab simulation to avoid getting sued. Would kinda explain the branding on the shell, skull, and silly "mystery".
Been watching Mark for years and keep in my mind I’m an off and on kind of smoker, but this Marks videos are even funnier when you’re stoned. I’m laughing my ass off lol.
I really liked it I had just got done watching Lost whenever I found this show I wish there was a season 2
At the beginning I thought I might watch this to laugh at it. But damn, I don’t think I could make it past ep. 1
19:41 - Is that a cavendish banana?
lol those don't grow wild. She found a Safeway.
The steps between the people multiplied with the amount of people just leads to the last person who was lying there??? So whoever it was, someone already woke up next to the sign
This show is aimed at young people as everyone is good looking and moody, don’t think good writing is top priority
This is soo true!!, I can't stand the show but my kids ( 7 yr old nb and 12 yr old girl) love the show but I just roll my eyes lol
I watched and read Lord of the Flies a number of times, so if present or future me wound up on an island with a conch, I'd blow it. When meeting the group of other people, I would also continually remind them that "I have the conch," a reference to Lord of the Flies that I would not expect the other islanders to "get". The fact that they did not get this reference would amuse me, and I would continue to make it, and I would get even louder with my "I HAVE THE CONCH!" bellows until they got tired of me, overwhelmed me, and beat me to death with the conch.