Why do people hate THE I-LAND???

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  • Опубліковано 19 лют 2020
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,7 тис.

  • @dannybailey6443
    @dannybailey6443 4 роки тому +2405

    Comparing the characters to high schoolers isn’t fair. Kids in The Lord of the Flies were more competent on their first day than these clowns.

    • @PassTheMarmalade1957
      @PassTheMarmalade1957 4 роки тому +102

      This does come across like the premise of a YA novel, though.

    • @snatchadams69
      @snatchadams69 4 роки тому +68

      The conch is the key to all of it...🔑

    • @utubebgay
      @utubebgay 4 роки тому +78

      i dunno... Lord of the Flies was published in the 50s... i think even young kids were understood to be more capable of looking after themselves than these poorly written non-characters.

    • @danholmesfilm
      @danholmesfilm 4 роки тому +58

      High schoolers today are less mature than children in the 50's... hell adults suck nowadays too.

    • @FrenchToast663
      @FrenchToast663 4 роки тому +27

      even birdemic makes sense compared to this shit

  • @rasengdori13
    @rasengdori13 4 роки тому +1594

    “Learning our names is enough for one day.” while stranded on a deserted island is the dumbest and most hilarious thing I’ve ever heard.

    • @Plant_Parenthood
      @Plant_Parenthood 4 роки тому +112

      Food and shelter can wait. I'm bad with names

    • @TheSinisterkelly
      @TheSinisterkelly 4 роки тому +34

      Let's go swimming too

    • @libertyadams5961
      @libertyadams5961 4 роки тому +50

      How did nobody think SHE was hiding shit???

    • @Nemoticon
      @Nemoticon 4 роки тому +39

      Whoa, whoa, whoa.... I have a middle name? Can we leave that for next week?

    • @sarafontanini7051
      @sarafontanini7051 4 роки тому +18

      as said by a completely inconsequential unimportant character
      seriously she's set up as a potneital antagonist and then just does nothign important enough to warrant discussing in this review.

  • @joelmulder
    @joelmulder 2 роки тому +80

    The dynamic between this cast is what group projects in high school used to feel like.

  • @Mario_Angel_Medina
    @Mario_Angel_Medina 2 роки тому +129

    This series could had make a lot more sense if they just added a scene where one of the people who developt the simulation said "part of the experiment required we to block the survival instincts of the inmates, so they don't try to escape or find out was going on. But we may had gone overboard with it, those inmates were going to just lay on the beach and die if it wasn't for Chase"

  • @flightnesssnowbirb8318
    @flightnesssnowbirb8318 4 роки тому +1503

    Characters: *Are too lazy to figure out why they're on the island*
    Same Characters: *Would rather build their own shelter than use the building already there*
    "Doesn't. add. up."

    • @commentor2013
      @commentor2013 4 роки тому +91

      say it again.

    • @fasteddie1241
      @fasteddie1241 4 роки тому +82

      Shit doesn't just happen.

    • @JFomo
      @JFomo 4 роки тому +47

      It's not like it's magic

    • @novakrabby
      @novakrabby 4 роки тому +38

      I have a theory after watching this 3 times (love you mark), maybe the script was minimal and their only command was to complain about everything, thats why they contradict each other all the time, also why that one b$tch repeats her lines over and over, she is just winging it.
      I can see a show so up its on ass, thinking memory loss means hiding the script to the actors

    • @Greendalewitch
      @Greendalewitch 4 роки тому +9

      I just realised that the black chick is the same one from After Life, which was also a bat shit crazy series.

  • @RyllenKriel
    @RyllenKriel 4 роки тому +1084

    The missing "S" in The I-Land stands for "Script."
    They probably should of included a letter S...

  • @SamJohnsonAZ
    @SamJohnsonAZ 2 роки тому +160

    This is like playing a role play game but you purposely choose the bad dialogue everytime lmao

    • @MortusSweet
      @MortusSweet Рік тому +3

      “dO yoU CoMpLy?”

    • @unimpartialobserver
      @unimpartialobserver 10 місяців тому +1

      They're basically the average MMO player: fight each other, send each other dirty custom emotes, take off their clothes and run around as near naked as possible, spam the jump key like they're wearing spring boots, and tell anyone who logged in to actually play the game "don't get pressed lol, it's just a game".
      You say "I-Land", I say "Goldshire".

    • @dungodea962
      @dungodea962 7 місяців тому

      Roll for initiative

  • @kasroa
    @kasroa 2 роки тому +67

    "guys we've found shelter, a massive hotel. It's got water and beds, and we managed to get there and back in, like, half a day and we're totally fine, not even dirty or covered in sweat or blood or anything. We literally look like we've just been down to the supermarket and back"
    "Yeah, well, that sounds like too much hard work. We should just stay here, and spend days, maybe even weeks, building our own shelter and beds using only our bare hands. And as for water, we can also build vessels to carry it from the lake several times a day, every day. This seems a lot easier than easily climbing one cliff just one time."

    • @alexmuenster2102
      @alexmuenster2102 Рік тому +2

      "You guys found a freakin' *hotel* ? But, well, does it have jacuzzis? Cuz we ain't movin' from this beach unless it has jacuzzis!"

  • @drudle
    @drudle 4 роки тому +621

    "These little puzzles are hilarious because it doesn't .."
    Doesn't what, Mark? It doesn't *add up* ?!

    • @TheKaiTetley
      @TheKaiTetley 4 роки тому +11

      Andrew O'Donnell
      Doesnt do the dishes? Doesn’t fart in bed? Doesn’t fall asleep after sex?

    • @salud7432
      @salud7432 4 роки тому +25

      Just doesnt... it just doesnt.

    • @snatchadams69
      @snatchadams69 4 роки тому +24

      You guys are hiding something..

    • @KMoo-oz1kw
      @KMoo-oz1kw 4 роки тому

      @@salud7432
      Hi Bud👋

    • @TheKaiTetley
      @TheKaiTetley 4 роки тому

      Zero Cool I want to make like a tree.

  • @sarahpfeuffer1396
    @sarahpfeuffer1396 4 роки тому +452

    The character attitudes and laziness is incredibly annoying and I'm only listening to a review!

    • @K38Media
      @K38Media 4 роки тому +26

      I assume this is what the creators of this show think all millennials are like

    • @paulpower5028
      @paulpower5028 4 роки тому +9

      @@K38Media maybe the children of the writers are exactly like that

    • @hannahblurp9360
      @hannahblurp9360 4 роки тому +22

      I know I was getting so frustrated listening to the clips. I wanted to reach through the screen and strangle the characters

    • @K38Media
      @K38Media 4 роки тому +10

      @@hannahblurp9360 I just finished watching "The Good Place" on Netflix which I found fantastic and had relatable characters, felt like shouting out some actual good Television :)

  • @WelfareChrist
    @WelfareChrist 2 роки тому +216

    Imagine gathering this amount of resources to produce a show like this based on a script this bad. Imagine the amount of eye-rolling and loud exhales during the first read through.

    • @joelellis7035
      @joelellis7035 2 роки тому +18

      Looks to me like a lot of starving actors needing a paycheck. A lot of no names with CW charisma and skill, although I did recognize Bruce McGill.

    • @wangson
      @wangson 2 роки тому +5

      I was thinking the same thing. Even the actors (while probably happy to be temporarily employed) must've been like, "Good heavens....do I need a cheque this badly?"

    • @rhyspatterson679
      @rhyspatterson679 2 роки тому +5

      the only actor i recognize was one of the guys who was is Dead before Dawn a college zombie comedy from 2012. he played the EXACT same type of character. Its kinda sad actually

    • @Sobergamer61
      @Sobergamer61 2 роки тому +4

      Imagine being so desperate for work that you, as an actor, read the screenplay, and say “yup I’m on board”

    • @sionbarzad5371
      @sionbarzad5371 2 роки тому +10

      @@joelellis7035 having dated a ''starving actor'' who ended up making it, I would say unless you're very well connected or lucky, you better show up at most roles because you never know who you may meet or who may be there.

  • @mhc706
    @mhc706 3 роки тому +47

    when the first girl asks the second girl about if she found anything and says
    "so we have two things"
    and the second girl pulls the knife out i was 100% expecting her to say
    "nope. i have two things"
    also who wakes up on an unknown beach and thinks "well at least i have a shell. i could have nothing but i DO have one thing, a shell" bitch youre on a beach, look around a bet you could have a dozen "things"

    • @youtube-kit9450
      @youtube-kit9450 Рік тому +2

      Even if you went with the "we both have one thing each", you could've very easily rewritten it from "super confrontational super hostile bitch" to "rather cautious reasonable person" (which seemed to have been the intent with KC) if you just went "yeah, we have two things. But I'll keep the knife."
      Ofc you would've to rewrite her from being a childmurdering psychopath who for no reason constantly calls Chase a bitch and goes after the rapist for zero reason, but that's just the dumpsterfire of a script on display.

  • @bgilley8199
    @bgilley8199 4 роки тому +859

    Discovering the book only to throw it away immediately has to be one of the most unintentionally sadly symbolic scenes ever.

    • @sarafontanini7051
      @sarafontanini7051 4 роки тому +134

      WHO HAS TIME TO READ ON A DESERT ISLAND. WE GOT MYSERIES TO NOT SOLVE AND FOOD TO NOT SEARCH FOR.

    • @humanbeing2420
      @humanbeing2420 3 роки тому +57

      Whoever wrote the pilot obviously never read a book, so it stands to reason they'd have a character toss one aside like it's worthless.

    • @JeanneFeisont
      @JeanneFeisont 3 роки тому +3

      Ok Boomer

    • @Timbo6669
      @Timbo6669 2 роки тому +46

      @@JeanneFeisont triggered a bit?

    • @megatronjenkins2473
      @megatronjenkins2473 2 роки тому +4

      @@JeanneFeisont dafuq is that supposed to mean, in this context? Are you one of the idiots on the i-land?

  • @kagenotatsumaki
    @kagenotatsumaki 4 роки тому +745

    If you woke up holding a shell, would your first instinct be to blow it?"
    Yes. It might be the Conch signal and Mermaid Man could save me.

    • @h8rraider227
      @h8rraider227 4 роки тому +21

      dont forget barnacle boy!!

    • @Gloomdrake
      @Gloomdrake 4 роки тому +9

      I’d ask it a question first, actually

    • @indrickboreale5463
      @indrickboreale5463 4 роки тому +6

      h8r Raider barnacle MAN!

    • @thebigdawgj
      @thebigdawgj 4 роки тому +10

      Yes is my answer too. It's like people never read Lord of the Flies. I have the conch, I am the leader.

    • @Gloomdrake
      @Gloomdrake 4 роки тому

      justin fwibber Why would I read a book that’s unavailable in my area?

  • @ToxicTony15
    @ToxicTony15 2 роки тому +41

    The undercover government agents immediately breaking their cover once questioned in the slightest broke my brain. It’s official, whoever wrote this show isn’t human. I refuse to believe it. A turtle that crawled towards different writing notes that they then used must of written this. Surely a human writer can’t be this dumb?

    • @Dextrome
      @Dextrome 9 місяців тому +1

      I'm not surprised by humanity's stupidity anymore xD

    • @knightmareza9478
      @knightmareza9478 Місяць тому

      Ooooh yes they can. The average person SUCKS at writing. And when you write by committee this is the quality you get

  • @Fray2221
    @Fray2221 2 роки тому +50

    "So guys it turns out that this island isn't deserted and that civilization is only a 5 minute walk away."
    "I am not going anywhere, I want to just lie on this beach and die."
    And this just goes on for a whole season.

  • @hidayahsufee2677
    @hidayahsufee2677 4 роки тому +662

    This show feels like a high budget censored pornography, where it's all set up but nothing happens.

    • @marianatheschizoid5912
      @marianatheschizoid5912 4 роки тому +74

      The dialogue and acting surely sound like something out of a porno

    • @umok8433
      @umok8433 4 роки тому +27

      It should have just been a huge orgy

    • @monkeyishi
      @monkeyishi 4 роки тому +12

      thats aan insult to pink films

    • @anonb4632
      @anonb4632 4 роки тому +7

      It looks like a version of Lost.

    • @heyitsvonage2768
      @heyitsvonage2768 4 роки тому +10

      True, if these people all got naked and starting banging each other, the dialogue would make a lot more sense!

  • @TheWorldLuvsABastard
    @TheWorldLuvsABastard 4 роки тому +647

    When waking up with amnesia on an island first you need to establish a popularity order THEN survival strategy. Everyone knows that.

    • @novakrabby
      @novakrabby 4 роки тому +110

      Priorities:
      1. Popularity
      2. Who's hotter
      3. Who wants to bang who
      4. Go swimming in cheeky outfits
      Never once mentioned food, shelter or even explore where you are

    • @snatchadams69
      @snatchadams69 4 роки тому +36

      Don't forget the conch, the conch is the key to all of this...

    • @monsterhanna6691
      @monsterhanna6691 4 роки тому +31

      snatchadams69 "All hail the Magic Conch!"

    • @Snowmon89
      @Snowmon89 4 роки тому +9

      Strangely enough, that's exactly what happened in Lord of the Flies....

    • @wilmagregg3131
      @wilmagregg3131 4 роки тому +12

      @@Snowmon89 to be fair they were kids who new very little about survival while most adults know pretty decent survival knowledge the only time adults would lord of the flies is if the island there on has very little resources for human survival like food and clean water which unlike most cartoons make it seem is pretty common as most islands dont have coconut and banna trees for easy food

  • @bluecrossfire2375
    @bluecrossfire2375 2 роки тому +9

    Chase at first: Finds things to help everyone better their situation
    Everyone: HOW DARE YOU!!!

  • @dlbutters7164
    @dlbutters7164 2 роки тому +17

    "it's too hot here..."
    Says that while the strong wind blows his hair across his face...

  • @ByrdieFae
    @ByrdieFae 4 роки тому +378

    Wow. This looks so painfully dumb. Bless you for watching this crap for us.

  • @stephm8932
    @stephm8932 4 роки тому +499

    The characters clothes are whiter and cleaned pressed like in a detergent commercial 😂😂😂

    • @J.G.Wentworth69420
      @J.G.Wentworth69420 4 роки тому +32

      They're all dressed like Peter Griffin...

    • @Gloomdrake
      @Gloomdrake 4 роки тому +1

      strontiumXnitrate Wait, is this show just Lost if Lost started off badly?

    • @adamgray1753
      @adamgray1753 4 роки тому +1

      This show is Discount Lost, @@Gloomdrake, as far as I am concerned.

    • @Gloomdrake
      @Gloomdrake 4 роки тому +1

      Adam Gray That’s an answer to my question, thanks

    • @obi1kNobi47
      @obi1kNobi47 4 роки тому +5

      Nope, it’s a Tide ad ✨

  • @JGSuttonJr
    @JGSuttonJr 2 роки тому +47

    That's the problem with these Netflicks series: there's barely enough content for a 90 minute movie and they stretch it out to seven or more episodes. In the 80s this would have been a single episode of a television show, and it would have worked as that.

    • @puppiesarepower3682
      @puppiesarepower3682 2 роки тому +3

      Stranger Things quickly comes to mind. Yuk.

    • @IhadToputAnameinHereSomewhere
      @IhadToputAnameinHereSomewhere 2 роки тому +7

      It would've been one of those failed TV pilots that got turned into a "movie" of two episodes squashed together, then covered by Mystery Science Theater.

  • @valgeir80
    @valgeir80 2 роки тому +9

    Not to mention: Blowing in a conch does nothing unless the shell is modified.

  • @evanward4303
    @evanward4303 4 роки тому +229

    Everyone has different sized steps. Measuring by steps doesn't add up. *_IT DOESN'T ADD UP!!_*

    • @thedude5295
      @thedude5295 4 роки тому +9

      Yeah, but if somebody's gait was smaller and it took 50 steps, it would just be 50 times how many people and that would still be the distance to the sign instead of only 39. That is sound. But it's the direction part that isn't. They had more or less 180 degrees of direction to walk (not into the water). How did they walk right to the sign? Where do you start walking from? From the last person? From the first person? From the middle of all the people?

    • @davidhirt9129
      @davidhirt9129 4 роки тому +1

      @@thedude5295 You´re so right Dude

    • @thedude5295
      @thedude5295 4 роки тому +1

      @@davidhirt9129 Yup. Usually people's noses are pretty good at smelling bullshit, but their brains just can't figure out exactly why it's bullshit. ;)

    • @ronmatry
      @ronmatry 4 роки тому +5

      @@thedude5295 except for the part where 39 is the magic number she uses to unlock the box with the gun

    • @thedude5295
      @thedude5295 4 роки тому

      @@ronmatry Hmmmm... Good point. You clearly have put a lot of thought into this. They should hire people like you instead of whoever writes this crap.

  • @rosalynredwood4542
    @rosalynredwood4542 4 роки тому +229

    This feels like live action representation of those wattpad teen romances..the worst ones of them 🤦🏻‍♀️

    • @umok8433
      @umok8433 4 роки тому

      I wheeze-

    • @glamglam8347
      @glamglam8347 2 роки тому +2

      omg were stuck in a deserted island and were trying to find civilization... lets kiss. literally sounds like you sister playing with her barbies

    • @wrestlinginmyblood
      @wrestlinginmyblood Рік тому

      That would make sense. Netflix has an awful habit of optioning Wattpad travesties.

  • @TheLakabanzaichrg
    @TheLakabanzaichrg 2 роки тому +45

    It gets ridiculous how an old lady actually kicked so many of the guards into submission, one would think that after 25 years her muslces would be atrophiated memory or not

  • @charlesloomis2224
    @charlesloomis2224 Рік тому +11

    Mark as one of the cast members written as himself would have been hilarious!!! And the “magnetic force field” doctor was the writer of this disaster. 🤣🤣 this explains why his character was there.

    • @derva1019
      @derva1019 Рік тому +1

      So, since when are Humans ferromagnetic? XD

  • @DamoBloggs
    @DamoBloggs 4 роки тому +125

    So this show didn't jump the shark - it was pushed into it...

    • @ahobimo732
      @ahobimo732 4 роки тому +6

      The shark refused to be jumped by this show. It was an affront to his dignity.

  • @eyeln9ne696
    @eyeln9ne696 3 роки тому +303

    What really blows my mind, is how they kept their shirts so white the whole time! I usually make it around 10 minutes before i mysteriously stain my whites.

    • @josephang9927
      @josephang9927 2 роки тому +22

      Maybe it's the simulation washing them. Nothing sus 😆

    • @be.A.b
      @be.A.b 2 роки тому +3

      Yeahh huh. At the end of the day whites get so dingy somehow. If you pay attention, you can literally see the dust setting in from the wind or something lol.

    • @x_VineM_x
      @x_VineM_x 2 роки тому +3

      "Stain my whites" sounds like a fancy term for shitting your undies lol
      🤦🏽‍♂️

    • @eyeln9ne696
      @eyeln9ne696 2 роки тому +7

      @@x_VineM_x lol, i can't believe i didn't even catch that!

    • @daveroche6522
      @daveroche6522 Рік тому +4

      You're on the beach for a full day and NO-ONE gets sand up their ass? Nah.

  • @20TonChop
    @20TonChop 2 роки тому +23

    I feel like showrunners are just having competitions between themselves at how dumb they can make a show and still have it made and create fans.

  • @cantthinkofafunnyname8309
    @cantthinkofafunnyname8309 Рік тому +12

    I’m so glad to find out this show is just as confusing as I thought, I’m waiting on an autism diagnosis and I really thought i was just not getting it bc I’ve recently learned my brain doesn’t work like other people. Good to know the writers are the problem lmao

  • @arturslunga3415
    @arturslunga3415 3 роки тому +188

    I feel bad for the actors. They probably thought "oh im gonna be in the next LOST".... and then they read the script.

    • @EnclosedPoolArea
      @EnclosedPoolArea 2 роки тому +31

      I'd feel bad for them if they weren't all terrible actors.

    • @blacksunapocalypse
      @blacksunapocalypse 2 роки тому +10

      Yea if they were actually good actors, then i'd agree :P They just saw dollar signs and ran with it, more like.

    • @JohnS-il1dr
      @JohnS-il1dr 2 роки тому +7

      Agents for actors say to their clients that if a studio calls asking if you can play a certain part you always say yes no matter what.

    • @blacksunapocalypse
      @blacksunapocalypse 2 роки тому +3

      @@JohnS-il1dr I guess the thinking is that bad exposure is better than no exposure..

    • @planescaped
      @planescaped 2 роки тому

      The actress playing the bitchy redhead especially, her character is so hateable and awfully written in a show so badly received that it might end up killing her career...

  • @balamtheknowledge9578
    @balamtheknowledge9578 3 роки тому +92

    When the woman with the knife says; "You got something and I got something" it would have been great if she cracked her over the head with th conch shell and then the credits roll.

  • @Unethical.Dodgson
    @Unethical.Dodgson 2 роки тому +8

    Not gonna lie. I had forgotten that I had actually seen this. I legit didn't remember the name, the premise, or anything... My memory was jogged when seeing certain scenes and then my brain was like "Oh yeah! We've SEEN this! We must have just... discarded it."

  • @darwinwatterson1050
    @darwinwatterson1050 3 роки тому +13

    12:00
    When KC repeated herself, I took it as the writer trying to emphasise something.

  • @IDK-uu9mt
    @IDK-uu9mt 4 роки тому +253

    The writers probably thought the "learning our names is enough for one day" girl would be a fan favorite because she is dark and brooding, and also a supposed "voice of reason" ...

    • @YOUNOTSMART
      @YOUNOTSMART 2 роки тому +10

      😂😂

    • @angelrivera-cw9be
      @angelrivera-cw9be 2 роки тому +2

      nope, just a child killer.

    • @Koyaanisqatsi12
      @Koyaanisqatsi12 2 роки тому +29

      Nah she is jsut the "STRONG FEMALE CHARACTER" or in terms of netflix: "BITCHY FOR NO REASON"

    • @NathanTarantlawriter
      @NathanTarantlawriter Рік тому +4

      The Big Ts are supposed to make her a fan fav.

    • @mckymcobvious3043
      @mckymcobvious3043 Рік тому +2

      @@NathanTarantlawriter ( _she's_ not the one with ... k, the one OP was talking abt is petite and has her shirt buttoned ALL THE WAY UP lol .. the mean red head)

  • @carronline1
    @carronline1 4 роки тому +124

    how can a character who immediately starting problems with other people expect someone to like her

    • @alexmuenster2102
      @alexmuenster2102 Рік тому +4

      What a stoo-pid remark! BTW: Can you please help me *survive* here?

  • @zmbdog
    @zmbdog Рік тому +4

    "It doesn't...add...up!" Wow, didn't expect her to start reviewing the show. How meta.

  • @shortycrawford9633
    @shortycrawford9633 3 роки тому +5

    As far as I can tell, reading up on the history of the show, it doesn't appear that this series actually had writers, just numerous producers taking writing credits. Is it really possible that Netflix would have looked at this situation and said, "Good, here's your $2,000,000 per episode now run with it." Well, apparently they did, because according to the internet the series cost around $14 million total.

  • @PassTheMarmalade1957
    @PassTheMarmalade1957 4 роки тому +266

    Funny how this show acts as though the island being a simulation is some kind of twist, *when the title all but gives it away.*

    • @trazyntheinfinite9895
      @trazyntheinfinite9895 4 роки тому +18

      but you see, modern writers do not care about the audience.
      In their mind, it is important what the characters feel and hink, not how the viewer reacts to them.
      For modern writers, the characters are not the tool to tell the story to the audience. The audience is graciousky alowed to witness the characters being the story.

    • @AusSP
      @AusSP 4 роки тому +18

      I, uh, didn't think the title was giving away the twist. But, you know, it did make me think "so, Apple? Social media?".

    • @narutowebby
      @narutowebby 4 роки тому +4

      I don't get it ho is the title a giveaway? Does I-Land mean something or?

    • @AusSP
      @AusSP 4 роки тому +8

      @@narutowebby "I" by it's own like that typically refers to information. It's a strong hint that there's something artificial about the island.

    • @PassTheMarmalade1957
      @PassTheMarmalade1957 4 роки тому +20

      @@narutowebby It's kind of old-fashioned now, but calling something an i-world or an e-market literally means it's online or electronic. It's probably even still obvious to a lot of people today, seeing as one of the comments above compared it to Apple and technology.

  • @goatgod2009
    @goatgod2009 4 роки тому +52

    All of them act like they just woke up on set with no memory of ever having read the script, and the director is an extremely hormonal teenager.

  • @Rashomon69
    @Rashomon69 2 роки тому +1

    I gave you a sub for this.
    I tried to watch this show when it first came out. I only made it through the first episode. I was curious about how it ended… but not curious enough to suffer through the rest of it. Thanks for taking one for the team. :D

  • @joshuablack8221
    @joshuablack8221 2 роки тому

    Brotha, what you do is genuinely appreciated 💯🙏🏽

  • @onetnecghoti3473
    @onetnecghoti3473 4 роки тому +222

    "ALL HAIL THE MAGIC CONCH!!"

    • @only257
      @only257 4 роки тому +4

      Onetnec Ghoti 😂

    • @snatchadams69
      @snatchadams69 4 роки тому +8

      Why are you speaking when I have the conch!?

    • @simonphelon7221
      @simonphelon7221 4 роки тому +1

      All hail the glowcloud

    • @hmdwgf
      @hmdwgf 3 роки тому +5

      WE GOTTA DROP THE LOAD

    • @dylanwolf
      @dylanwolf 3 роки тому

      Can I have a sandwich?

  • @logan4231
    @logan4231 4 роки тому +377

    When the guy said “maybe we’re on a work trip” and she responds “this isn’t teambuilding” I thought the twist would be that this was all a test run simulation used by workplaces to literally do just that. Kinda like an advanced escape room. The issue then would be the awkward dynamics when they wake up from the simulation after having tried to rape each other, kill each other, etc. I feel like this would’ve been an interesting twist

    • @latoyatea7333
      @latoyatea7333 4 роки тому +34

      This would be great! Sounds like something black mirror would do.

    • @the_inquisitive_inquisitor
      @the_inquisitive_inquisitor 2 роки тому +15

      Wish somebody had made *that* show..

    • @deletedwaffles
      @deletedwaffles 2 роки тому +28

      You just gave a better show plot than the actual show.

    • @trailerwager8850
      @trailerwager8850 2 роки тому +4

      That was her way of saying she would not be contributing whatsoever

    • @ahmataevo
      @ahmataevo 2 роки тому +19

      Whoever commits the worst crimes becomes the new CEO!

  • @Rothen_jnr
    @Rothen_jnr Рік тому +4

    Ten minutes into the film, I noticed an odd occurrence where two female characters seemingly developed a sudden animosity towards each other, despite having no prior connection. It was puzzling because they had both awakened in an unfamiliar location and had no reason to harbor such hostility. It felt implausible that they would instantly despise one another without any logical basis. Additionally, another glaring issue was that these characters couldn't initially comprehend why they were wearing identical outfits, which seemed quite nonsensical. Moreover, it was evident that the writers neglected to consider basic everyday hygiene protocols. It's highly unlikely that one's breath would remain fresh in the morning, and strangely, the female characters appeared to have glossy lips and flawless skin as if they were wearing makeup. The series took a disappointing turn when it prematurely revealed that the characters were actually part of a simulated environment, thus robbing the viewers of the anticipation and satisfaction that would have been derived from future episodes.

  • @phillipA123
    @phillipA123 2 роки тому +8

    I started watching this show accidentally on mute...and the first few minutes completely silent were fantastic. Then she met other people, I realized my mistake and lasted about 5 more minutes before I turned it off and never watched again.

  • @johnchickenloopers1803
    @johnchickenloopers1803 4 роки тому +207

    So this is like some sort of terrible remake of “Lord of The Flies”.

    • @laiskapyykki
      @laiskapyykki 4 роки тому +15

      The conch had me thinking that right away. The writers must be really lazy to bite so much out of that movie and not even credit it..

    • @jamstonjulian6947
      @jamstonjulian6947 4 роки тому +3

      @Aaron A420 Oh, if only.

    • @TheREALSimagination
      @TheREALSimagination 4 роки тому

      Or the Bear Grylls laugh fest.

    • @trinidad17
      @trinidad17 4 роки тому +4

      More like "Lost of the Zoomer Flies"

    • @blueflare3848
      @blueflare3848 4 роки тому +4

      The conch shell made me think of Lord of the Flies right away. Except, you know, Lord of the Flies is actually good.

  • @grapeshot
    @grapeshot 4 роки тому +187

    I remember watching Gilligan's Island with my grandfather when I was little. And I remember him saying the professor can invent a lot of things except for a way to get off that damn Island.

    • @markslaughter9497
      @markslaughter9497 4 роки тому +26

      I think they were in hell and Gilligan was Satan

    • @doctorthirteen5727
      @doctorthirteen5727 4 роки тому +28

      He didn't want off the island, he wanted to be stuck there with Mary Ann, as would anyone.

    • @UnownDepth
      @UnownDepth 4 роки тому +6

      @@doctorthirteen5727 true

    • @zenhaelcero8481
      @zenhaelcero8481 4 роки тому +5

      @@doctorthirteen5727 Do you think the Professor was a Mary Ann or a Ginger kind of guy? I was always partial to Ginger, myself.

    • @SanMarcosBlanket
      @SanMarcosBlanket 4 роки тому +10

      @@zenhaelcero8481 both would be his students, one will do anything for an A while the other is thinking about that D

  • @itsm6433
    @itsm6433 10 місяців тому +1

    This has been most entertaining, wish most reviews were done like this! 😂

  • @davexmit
    @davexmit 4 місяці тому +2

    "Why is the shell marked 'Property of...'? It's a simulation!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @sedevacante0027
    @sedevacante0027 4 роки тому +129

    The Island of failed careers of one shot wonders and one shot onlys.

    • @mrsoshadabaadman
      @mrsoshadabaadman 4 роки тому +10

      Oh man but by gum all the female characters are stunning. They might recover in a Dallas it was all a dream fashion 🤣🤣🤣

    • @uno9331
      @uno9331 4 роки тому +5

      Mr Sosha Da baad Man
      Yea chase is thick

    • @chujackam
      @chujackam 4 роки тому +1

      I only know that one chick from Death Race with Jason Statham.

    • @maxbrandt6
      @maxbrandt6 4 роки тому +4

      An island of has-beens and never-wases.

    • @subraxas
      @subraxas 4 роки тому +2

      K.C. is played by Kate Bosworth. I immediately recognized her.
      Maybe you should check out her filmography to see what she's accomplished.

  • @monsterhanna6691
    @monsterhanna6691 4 роки тому +173

    "And if you die on the island, you die in real life." What is this, A Nightmare on Elm Street?

    • @MegaDcmp
      @MegaDcmp 4 роки тому +10

      Oh, it's a Nightmare. . . but on My Street

    • @Statsy10
      @Statsy10 4 роки тому +7

      No, it’s the matrix, but...... stupider. Sorry, I meant to say stoopider.

    • @TheVanOvanShow
      @TheVanOvanShow 3 роки тому +3

      @@MegaDcmp lol will smith

    • @multitudeofidols
      @multitudeofidols 3 роки тому +1

      I got flashbacks to that beach scene in _A Nightmare on Elm Street 4: The Dream Master._

    • @andypayne2743
      @andypayne2743 2 роки тому +2

      Nightmare on Netflix

  • @kokosan09
    @kokosan09 2 роки тому +4

    I wondered why I had never heard of this show before now.
    I'm not wondering about that anymore now.

  • @o6ina
    @o6ina 2 роки тому +6

    Ten minutes in, I suddenly remembered that I've seen this series. This video explaines my amnesia.

  • @PhDFl0pp
    @PhDFl0pp 4 роки тому +427

    *Acts logically when stranded on a deserted island.
    The I-Land: “We don’t do that around here”

    • @sarafontanini7051
      @sarafontanini7051 4 роки тому +5

      and that's exactly why one of them ends up loosing a hand. because she's a fucking idiot.

    • @thecatrooms
      @thecatrooms 4 роки тому +9

      We don't like them thinkin' types 'round here, boi.

    • @davejones9469
      @davejones9469 2 роки тому +2

      "There's no such thing as smart here. It's just dumb or dumber.

    • @adamrak7560
      @adamrak7560 2 роки тому +5

      to be fair, most character are criminally insane in the show. (including the warden, and the prison guards, etc..)

    • @BoleDaPole
      @BoleDaPole 2 роки тому

      It's a Netflix movie. It's not made to be taken seriously

  • @BigSisterNeko
    @BigSisterNeko 4 роки тому +178

    The actress who plays KC is... doing her best but it seems like she’s mad a the script lol. Love the video

    • @cannibalbunnygirl
      @cannibalbunnygirl 4 роки тому +26

      Well she used to have a halfway decent career. Poor Kate

    • @monsterhanna6691
      @monsterhanna6691 4 роки тому +7

      Can you blame her? 😂

    • @FrancescaS.
      @FrancescaS. 4 роки тому +5

      Jacob Seed is my husband i feel so bad for her... And While We Were Here was such an amazing film :///

    • @anonb4632
      @anonb4632 4 роки тому +2

      @@cannibalbunnygirl Blame the agent.

    • @cratonorogen9208
      @cratonorogen9208 2 роки тому +1

      She was a producer on the show

  • @TRD57
    @TRD57 2 роки тому +1

    I live in Hawaii and use to work as an entertainer in Waikiki. Trust me, you can't just blow into a conch shell to make a sound. You actually have to blow into it like a trumpet. Which is difficult if you have never done it before.

  • @cynodont7391
    @cynodont7391 2 роки тому +3

    That reminds me one of my main critics about Lost. I could not understand why the various characters were constantly hiding important survival information. Find a plane wreckage? Keep it secret! A door in the jungle? Secret! A pirate boat? Let's not tell anyone. An underground base full of equipment and food? Secret!

    • @cynodont7391
      @cynodont7391 2 роки тому +1

      @Dayspring It's not so much about real secrets but how important information did not propagate as they should within the survivors. I could be wrong but I think that this happened with the polar bear. So in S1E2 a polar bear is killed by a group of 6 and I am pretty sure that several episodes later (or even seasons), it is revealed that another character is not aware of the presence of polar bears on the island. I checked S1E3 and it seems that the group of 6 'forgets' to warn the other survivors about the presence of aggressive polar bears on the island.

  • @FumblsTheSniper
    @FumblsTheSniper 4 роки тому +109

    All I need to know is that it’s called “I-Land” for me to know it’s going to be complete garbage

    • @Dreadjaws
      @Dreadjaws 4 роки тому +18

      The worst part is that the name doesn't even make any sense. At first you think "Oh, it's called I-land because it's some sort of electronic/virtual place, right?". But then it later turns out the "i" means "1" because it's the first island. So in reality it's just a lame pun, but one that only works with the first island you build, because as soon as you make another one then it'll stop making sense.
      I swear, this show has to have been written like a game of telephone.

    • @cannibalbunnygirl
      @cannibalbunnygirl 4 роки тому +1

      @Heavy Metal Collector
      Hadn't got to that part yet, that's amazing 🙈 can't believe they actually did that

  • @87you87tube
    @87you87tube 4 роки тому +83

    I heard a story about someone finding a beautiful big shell on the beach, and right at the moment he reached for it, a big centipede crawled out. I was hesitate to even pick up shells on the beach after that, let alone blow them.

  • @fedos
    @fedos 3 роки тому +4

    I really connected with that shark.

  • @PutridPenguinPoots
    @PutridPenguinPoots 2 роки тому +1

    I come back and watch this every couple months because it's mind-blowing that not only did a group of people write this but then a group of people read it and thought "We need to get this to the masses ASAP!"

  • @lw3646
    @lw3646 4 роки тому +159

    I swear Netflix has just given up all attempt at quality control....

    • @anonb4632
      @anonb4632 4 роки тому +10

      The aim was to knock out the competition, then become worse. It's like when a corporation undercuts its competition through underpricing, then when it has eliminated them, it cranks the prices back up.

    • @lw3646
      @lw3646 4 роки тому +17

      @@anonb4632 even the original shows they created which used to be great are declining in quality. Nobody I know thinks season 3 of the crown or stranger things were the best.

    • @anonb4632
      @anonb4632 4 роки тому +7

      @@lw3646 Amazon Prime is going down a similar route. The first two series of the Man in the High Castle were impressive, the last one a cop out.

    • @skylx0812
      @skylx0812 3 роки тому +3

      Oh just wait till those fools trot out some movie called "Cuties"...

    • @mrsoshadabaadman
      @mrsoshadabaadman 3 роки тому +2

      But it makes it more fun and dangerous. If every show was overly curated and tested it would take away so much fun.

  • @anuemokita5379
    @anuemokita5379 4 роки тому +152

    Agent:"Did you read the I-Land script I sent you?"
    Actor:"Yeah, man, but this is really shyte. It's like a bit of Lost with a shot of The Tempest, the characters and dialogues are like from a Theatre of the Absurd/Teenage Drama hybrid, and then - big twist - it's just a matrix like prison VR simulation that is a play on the punishment speculation of simulation theory. Lots of other en vogue themes like domestic abuse and capitalism criticism but I have no idea what the message is supposed to be if there is one at all. It just feels like somebody had a nice idea and then lots of people added their own thing and after 20 rewrites everybody just gave up."
    Agent:"Yup. Pretty much. And it really doesn't pay that well, they only have 14 million for 7 epsiodes. But it is shot from mid october to mid december in the Domenican Republic when the weather is the nicest. So basically it's gonna be a 2 month all-inclusive vacation with lots of rum based cocktails and a lot of temporarily single people ... if you know what I mean."
    Actor:"Where do I sign?"

    • @jsteinman
      @jsteinman 4 роки тому +7

      Anue Mokita Lots or surprise sex too, apparently

  • @workingman9019
    @workingman9019 4 місяці тому +2

    MARK YOU GOTTA COVER I-LAND 2! WHEN IT COMES OUT! 😂 THIS VIDEO IS HILARIOUS!

  • @whatifschrodingersboxwasacofin

    If you take the number of steps between people and multiply it by the number of people, you get…
    The exact distance over which those people were lying when the awoke. 😳😂

  • @cleobinx
    @cleobinx 4 роки тому +41

    “Forget survival instinct , let’s just....bang it out “ 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @Etherman7
    @Etherman7 4 роки тому +203

    I don't know about you, but as a white dude who has spent a lot of time outside without immediate shelter, taking clothes off is the last thing to do. Good luck with that 3rd degree sunburn on a deserted island.

    • @novakrabby
      @novakrabby 4 роки тому +28

      But you know, aaaaaaabsss

    • @monsterhanna6691
      @monsterhanna6691 4 роки тому +15

      That would mean that these characters were smart. 😂

    • @samierking2256
      @samierking2256 4 роки тому +5

      😆😆😆💯

    • @YOUNOTSMART
      @YOUNOTSMART 2 роки тому

      As a black dude the sun and nature does not hate me

    • @mr.porkchop6377
      @mr.porkchop6377 2 роки тому +6

      Did they even have any drinking water? Running around getting dehydrated would be a huge problem

  • @20TonChop
    @20TonChop 2 роки тому +6

    It seems like some of these shows are like when rich parents shell out money for their extremely untalented children to make something they have no business making. Like a rich kids project while they are suffering from the Dunning Kruger effect.
    Or someone made a bet that that people are so stupid they would watch a show written by a child. Then they have their 10 yr old son write a script and fund its production.

  • @chloekm7958
    @chloekm7958 Рік тому +1

    This is quickly becoming one of my comfort videos.

  • @mcmoose64
    @mcmoose64 4 роки тому +77

    Your production was much more entertaining than the show could ever be . Thank you for saving 4.5 hours of my life .

  • @cherrycola1144
    @cherrycola1144 4 роки тому +85

    FanboyFlicks is like everyone’s uncle who’s really cool. Both are really cool guys. Nice.

    • @pothatuu
      @pothatuu 4 роки тому +1

      I guess FanboyFlicks is kinda like my uncle: friendly, gives me an unexpected gift from time to time, a lot in common...
      Except I would have preferred if Mark took my virginity.

  • @applegal3058
    @applegal3058 2 роки тому

    4:35 is an absolutely great piece of advice for life in general.

  • @Nofashists
    @Nofashists 2 роки тому +9

    This show is aimed at young people as everyone is good looking and moody, don’t think good writing is top priority

    • @BoleDaPole
      @BoleDaPole 2 роки тому

      This is soo true!!, I can't stand the show but my kids ( 7 yr old nb and 12 yr old girl) love the show but I just roll my eyes lol

  • @yukiayumi6242
    @yukiayumi6242 4 роки тому +62

    My friends and I watched this show quite a while ago and we ended watching half of it mute, coming up with new lines on the spot and voice acting them. That was funny. Sad thing is that you could just watch it mute for a long while and when you turned on the sound again you wouldn't have missed a thing. Also our version of thr show was a lot more fun and also made more sense eventhough we were just going with random stuff.

    • @southanime
      @southanime Рік тому +1

      Usually that is a case of style over substance, but this show somehow have neither.

  • @J.G.Wentworth69420
    @J.G.Wentworth69420 4 роки тому +152

    Why are they all dressed like Peter Griffin?

    • @sarafontanini7051
      @sarafontanini7051 4 роки тому +7

      it was the cheapest costume they could think of

    • @year111
      @year111 4 роки тому +7

      They want the characters to match his intelligence. As they act as he would if he were cloned a several times.

    • @fumomofumosarum5893
      @fumomofumosarum5893 4 роки тому +2

      same IQ.

  • @Romann2112
    @Romann2112 2 роки тому +1

    Whoah, new thumbnail. Nice one Marky Mark

  • @TheGrumpyGameDev
    @TheGrumpyGameDev 3 роки тому +2

    I watched and read Lord of the Flies a number of times, so if present or future me wound up on an island with a conch, I'd blow it. When meeting the group of other people, I would also continually remind them that "I have the conch," a reference to Lord of the Flies that I would not expect the other islanders to "get". The fact that they did not get this reference would amuse me, and I would continue to make it, and I would get even louder with my "I HAVE THE CONCH!" bellows until they got tired of me, overwhelmed me, and beat me to death with the conch.

  • @JoeFiorelloFilms
    @JoeFiorelloFilms 4 роки тому +138

    "It's like Lost meets The Matrix.... except it sucks." classic

  • @Distractingly_Dope
    @Distractingly_Dope 4 роки тому +97

    This whole show... It just doesn't add up

  • @wickedlester5320
    @wickedlester5320 3 роки тому +3

    Want to build a shelter. No
    Want to find food. Nah
    Want to find a source of water. No
    Want to walk down the beach in a random direction for a random reason and shit on what we find. Hells yeah.

  • @rednax3333
    @rednax3333 2 роки тому

    Dude where did you get that sweet Thing T-shirt? I dig it 😎👍

  • @MrRyan-wu4jx
    @MrRyan-wu4jx 4 роки тому +58

    The guys just found out their names are Brody and Donovan. That is enough for one day.

  • @dogstar5039
    @dogstar5039 4 роки тому +39

    If i woke up holding a conch shell on a beach i would immediately think its lord of the flies and go sharpen a stick to make a spear

    • @the_inquisitive_inquisitor
      @the_inquisitive_inquisitor 2 роки тому

      You're better off finding a nice fist-sized rock first. You need something sharp to sharpen the stick with.

  • @wangson
    @wangson 2 роки тому

    Hilarious, spot on and totally well done man!

  • @spoonsexe6368
    @spoonsexe6368 Рік тому

    I love your videos sooo much bc of your sarcasm😂

  • @gcooper642
    @gcooper642 4 роки тому +291

    It's a good thing whoever dumped them on this Island made sure their legs and bikini line were waxed. How thoughtful for the moment you might want to go swimming.

    • @anonb4632
      @anonb4632 4 роки тому +35

      And chests. I've never understood the need to look pre-pubescent by removing all body hair.

    • @alfredoprime5495
      @alfredoprime5495 2 роки тому +4

      @@anonb4632 it started with female neoteny which then lead to male feminization.

    • @glamglam8347
      @glamglam8347 2 роки тому +12

      good think they made sure to style their hair as if theyre about to say "easy breezy beautiful cover girl". love how they have amazing make up, 0 stains, and no sand in their hair what so ever

    • @katroamleft4721
      @katroamleft4721 2 роки тому +1

      😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    • @applegal3058
      @applegal3058 2 роки тому +7

      @@anonb4632 amen to that! It's just strange to have absolutely no body hair as an adult. But I'm not one to judge others. It's just my preference.

  • @Mr_Porter
    @Mr_Porter 4 роки тому +96

    Mark, you were hitting on all cylinders this episode 😭😂🤣
    I haven't seen you freaking out at such bizarre writing/acting since your review of The Ring reboot. I laughed hard throughout this entire episode with 21:45 being my favorite part.

    • @catastrophic3
      @catastrophic3 4 роки тому +2

      Mr. Porter Yeah I enjoyed this one a lot! I hope he can find more shitty tv series to review!

    • @brytonup1551
      @brytonup1551 4 роки тому +2

      catastrophic3 Netflix’s Daybreak or Daybreakers is pretty awful

    • @Sickoflife
      @Sickoflife 4 роки тому +2

      He was freaking out so much he started morphing into Jerry Seinfeld. (Not that there's anything wrong with that) 😅

  • @AbdulKareemAbdulRahman
    @AbdulKareemAbdulRahman 2 роки тому

    you have saved so many peoples' hours with this. god bless you!

  • @HarleyAMV
    @HarleyAMV 2 роки тому

    "Trusty Shell" Broke me! xD

  • @nate_d376
    @nate_d376 4 роки тому +41

    Man, I guess they'll give anyone a series on Netflix...this means I have a chance!

  • @mstheman10
    @mstheman10 4 роки тому +33

    Remember that Disney show "Flight 29(?) Down" that show that was about those teenagers who crash landed on an island? That show and those characters acted more rational than the ones in this show

  • @sandraminarovic1523
    @sandraminarovic1523 Рік тому

    Love your t-shirt!

  • @gildardorivasvalles6368
    @gildardorivasvalles6368 2 роки тому

    Mark, you do us all a public service, and I am truly grateful. Bless your heart.
    By the way, the kids in "Lord of the Flies" acted more rationally 😁

  • @MrAdamFC
    @MrAdamFC 4 роки тому +66

    out of context the title '' The I-Land'' sounds like the future of the apple corporation, Like this is what happens to the people who dont read the terms and conditions on their I-phones

    • @devote
      @devote 4 роки тому +11

      Now that's a better idea for a show.

  • @aaronlambert2947
    @aaronlambert2947 4 роки тому +60

    I guess she had chicken fingers.

    • @injoymints
      @injoymints 4 роки тому +4

      Aaron Lambert highly underrated comment

  • @RandolphTheWhite1
    @RandolphTheWhite1 Рік тому +2

    Here's my rewrite of The I-Land: as they begin starving they contemplate eating someone. Eventually, one of them kills themselves and so they eat that person. As they're all eating, some fireworks go off and they realize they're on a vacation hotspot, with hotels just over the hill

  • @maniak1768
    @maniak1768 2 роки тому +1

    At first, I thought this show was somehow related to the Aldous Huxley novel 'Island', also since the first episode of the show is called 'Brave New World'. But no, no obvious relation except the island-part.