Is mental escapism dangerous?
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- Опубліковано 21 бер 2024
- Overindulging in mental escapism can harm your real-life relationships and motivation.
The side effects of dissociation, derealization, and depersonalization can be devastating to actual relationships.
Use this approach sparingly to avoid serious life damage.
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But I do care.
It's true..this is why introverts have a hard time in the world..The more isolated you are you lose social skills and are more prone to ''negative'' experiences and it's a circle..
Yep, that's true.
Damn never thought about it like that
So true!✌🏻
What a terrible circle it becomes. After too much time alone, or even alone with my family my filter starts slipping, and I say things that often don't serve me well.
@@elizabethhannah6836 me too…I’m glad I’m at least able to recognize my patterns. ✌🏻
I have been escaping for a really long time now. When you feel like you're a waste of space you start occupying the space between your ears.
that can be a lonely place....it sure is miserable sometimes
Your last sentence is so true, except I suppose learning to recognize that nothing about you is a waste of space, and then believing it. I hope this happens for you.
@@elizabethhannah6836 thanks...it is currently a big struggle that seems insurmountable
@kelseymathias3881 it's not insurmountable. Keep trying.
@@marywiggins7411 thanks..I appreciate the encouragement.
This guy is freaking me out ...like every topic he covers is straight up true to life and he always has actual genuine & helpful applicable stuff to say. Most of the gurus online are literal charlatans, I'm actually shocked that there's someone who seems to know what the hell it is theyre talking about.
Same!
💯
This is the third short from him I’ve seen and every one of them is breaking long held life paradigms I’ve been living under in my lifelong struggle with depression and anxiety. I haven’t done any actions yet, and I can see clearly the difficult challenges this will bring, but I feel it resounding in my soul that these are the tools I need to see the light of hope…
I understand and totally agree with you. But unfortunately this can be a double edged sword. Sometimes the fantasy world is the only thing keeping you from leaving the real world. I have been escaping into my fantasy world for many years now. In that world I have no pain(physical or mental). In that world I am needed by others. In that world I still have value. In that world I can socialize and talk to people. In that world others want to socialize and talk with me. In that world I still can contribute to the society at large. In the real world, for me, none of that applies. I have been leaving my fantasy world more lately and it only shows me that I shouldn't exist.
😢
Oh, that's so relatable. It's what's been keeping me anchored here, too. Multiple times I've considered leaving this world, as other people took away from me the only means that I had of making my day better - my creative expression. "Good" and "well-intentioned" pieces of advice that were just tools for others to manipulate me, and ruin my enjoyment... because they wanted to see me squirm, I guess. And so, after all this, the only thing that I had left was creating some fantasies, fantasy worlds, fantasy people, to distract myself from the fact that, for some reason, every single one of my attempts to escape this cycle ends the same way.
And then my creativity started dying as well. It stopped giving me any sort of gratification. I floated out from the depths of the fantasy into the grey sludge and mist of everyday life, where every second is equally as pointless and unworthy. Where every single one of my actions and changes ends with the same pitiful results. And I guess that I'll have to inhabit this mist until the day I end, or the day I help myself end.
Fun, fun, fun!
Yes, I totally agree. I'm trying to stay more in the moment these days. But it's so hard my life keeps going by, and I don't remember the day, date, or month. Everything is just a blur as if I'm really not living.
If you live in the past, you live in depression, if you live in the future, you live in anxiety, if you live in the moment, you are contempt. Or something close to that, I'm learning to do the same, live in the moment, I have barely any experience in it.
Also, as far as life flying by, it all being a blur, try and do as much none routine stuff as you can, go see something you never saw, learn how to ride a motorcycle, whatever, knitting is fun I hear...... why not, then drop it do guitar (I actually know how to knit....its been a while though).
My theory is if all the days are the same, how are you going to differentiate between them, it all becomes one day. I'm trying to do this, need to pick up the frequency. Best, find people that do this, figure out where they would hang out, and go hang out there, see what happens.
I'm working on this, no results guaranteed. Food for thought.
@unclejim1528 good advice!
That is some grade a, top shelf sarcasm right there. 👏
Well, this is a truth that hit home for me today. I didn't know it had a name. I thought it was just a little bit of no-brainer time. Now I realize the danger in it; for me it is isolating.
Almost everything I enjoy in my life comes from escapism. Even if I could fix the parts of my life that aren't working, I enjoy the things I use for escapism enough I'd still want to partake in them. I'm grateful I do have an active imagination and that I enjoy fiction, because that's a big source of enjoyment for me, even if I didn't have to use that for escapism as I currently do.
Is this the same thing as maladaptive daydreaming?
Not sure if this is going to make any sense, but I think I finally found some practical beneficial applications for the richly detailed fantasy world part of my brain. I ask myself, "What parts of this dreamworld could translate into making my real life better?" It can be something as small as changing my words or tone of voice to treat a real person the way I would treat a "friend" in my imaginary universe. Or thinking about what things about the fake world I enjoy, and making sure to notice those things (or their approximations) in the real world. Or working on making the positive attributes of my imaginary self into a reality. I figure that if I can make changes within myself to make my real existence better and to provide experiences, behaviors, and feelings I'm lacking, I won't need the fantasy world except as a useful tool to sketch out ideas for goals and self-improvements.
Now if you'll excuse me, my bridge crew on my starship is waiting for its captain to return... ;)
Just realized I've actually been doing that for a long time! I remember watching "American Gladiators" (the late '80s original one). At the time I was in my early 20s and had ZERO athletic ability (picked last in HS gym class, etc.). Fantasized about being a Gladiator (Zap, to be precise), and bought some cheap weights and a how-to book. Did my unhealthy, unrealistic, obsessive, lost-in-a-fantasy world happen? Nope. Did I end up with a lifelong enjoyment of physical activity and better health? YES! I never got to be Zap, but I sure did get to be a better me. (And I still pretend in my mind to be an American Gladiator sometimes. I just make sure not to get stuck there.)
I totally agree with you about the possibilities of using the fantasy to improve both physicsal (self defense) and psycological (interfering with people) skills.
But the last sentence is the best. I love it !!!
How do we escape escapism? This lesson scared me a bit.
Its like using a muscle you havent used in a while over another muscle thats been overused. We all have that power but each time we give in to escapism and rely in it the harder it will be to break out of it
@@ejgames8484what is considered to be escape though? Is it video games, online friendships not grounded in reality, or perhaps creating a world within your own imagination and then believing it is real?
@@elizabethhannah6836 many things can be considered escapism, video games, tv shows binges , day dreaming, rage posting on the internet, hell even sleep can become a form of escapism.
Its on a spectrum and everyone does it differently. For me its for avoiding life responsibilities like school work, gym, eating etc. Ill binge tv shows, video games and sleep and it varies when im awake I find myself avoiding going to sleep, but when i wake up from sleep I fight to go back to sleep. Ive missed classes, flunked classes, lost unhealthy amounts of weight and had times when I had to get medical treatment. The issue is when these patterns become automatic and you feel as though cant stop and it interrupts daily life.
@@elizabethhannah6836All the above are forms of escapism, although online friendships much less so than the other two. They aren't the same as face-to-face interaction, but they are still social interaction with real people.
@@elizabethhannah6836i think that mental escapism mostly entails daydreams and imaginative scenarios that may be seen ‘better’ than our current reality and circumstances. it’s normal and everyone does it from time to time but it gets rly dysfunctional when it starts to take over your life to the point where you feel like you’re split helplessly btwn two worlds: the one which is pleasurable bc you feel like you’re at the end of achieving something which you desire (like for eg: a healthy relationship, good job, fame and fortune etc) v/s your real world which just seems so grim and worthless infront of the former
Yes, this was a huge problem for me many years ago when I escaped via soap operas on television. I woke up one day and realized it was not real and decided to stop viewing them. It was really hard at the time because of the depression and feeling so disconnected with Blige and people and my place in the world. I still am not in the best place but I have gained strength through my faith and have wonderful friends who have stuck with me and also a husband and family that have not given up on me. I look at the bigger picture now and with Dr. Scott's help I can make sense of the troubles within me....🙂
I can have a dream of things being just right, but that doesn't affect my view on reality. Reality is a sh!t show. I escape in to the woods. A few miles and a couple hours later and it feels like I was on vacation. And it's real, not just some delusion.
Life is out there waiting for us all, while we make lists and plans and generate all kinds of unrealistic expectations for ourselves. Letting go has been my hardest lesson, but it comes with huge rewards. Huge, unburdening and enlightening rewards.
Are you saying that you actually go to a wooded area and walk, or simply spend time there? I'm just looking for clarification for my own purposes, of course please only reply if you want to.
Totally do that envisioning the 'perfect' setting, and then yes it's hard to dial back the expectations.
@@elizabethhannah6836 oh I go hiking. There's a few spots where I'll take a short walk to a nice view, but I try to get a few miles out whenever I have time. Been solo hiking for decades.
@@marywiggins7411 Once I was given great advice that has stuck with me for 30 years now.
Don't anticipate, participate.
High-fives to my fellow "woodsy" person! I hike, watch birds, look for wildflowers, etc. I got into "bushcraft" when it showed up randomly in my youtube feed in 2021. Wish I'd known about it decades ago. It can be as simple as taking an hour to build a tiny fire, heat up water, make and enjoy a cup of coffee, and go home. Or if I feel like getting really hardcore into it on a given day, I can do that. Whatever I do, it really helps me get into the present moment to the exclusion of all else. I highly recommend just the quick tiny fire/cup of coffee thing for emotional first aid. Enjoy!!
Imagine people actually wanting to be there for you and not "srry im busy" but thats just unrealistic
Self-help, therapists and psychology in general is hardly doing anything to help with the loneliness epidemic.
The ultimate way is to brainwash people into caring about one another.
If only I’d known this 20 years ago. Now how does one undo the damage??
I know. Because of my childhood trauma triggers it's second nature to escape this reality. I learned to do this to feel safe.
@@tracyzimmerman7912 💯 This has been my survival mechanism.. Still is.. just didn’t realize the adverse effects it would have. I totally understand what you’re saying!!! Actually, I understand too well 🥲
@@Michelleck29 I’m sorry.. A ‘Mycologist’??? I don’t understand. Don’t they deal with fungi..etc.. I’m confused.
@@Michelleck29 What part of the country is this doctor?? TBH.. I have never heard of this at all.. maybe due to the ‘hush-hush’ of mental health.. I appreciate any info! And definitely appreciate your insight! I’m desperate for help! Many blessings 🙏🏻
The shroom experience stands as my most remarkable journey, an awe-inspiring encounter that left an indelible mark of amazement I'm dependent on it but not fully addicted
So true, I am not so bad with it now, but when young it was a real problem. 😢
I'm listening to you from Ukraine, it's near the front line. Escapism - is a real thing here, sometimes people in a modern case of "successful success" do not take into account certain difficulties in other people's lives, but you make more sense in those UA-cam Shorts or vids than anyone else. By the way, when the russians were still here and I was a part of territorial defense I was watching "Friends" on Netflix in my free time. It really helps, but once russians interrupted my entertainment by blowing up their own SAU "MSTA" infront 150 m. (≈ 500 ft.) of me. Friends were the end for that time, but a new live show began as "Fleeing russians".
Stay safe my friend. War is horrific and senseless. If anyone has a reason for escaping it's you. I have been struggling with it escaping for a while now and I'm not in a war zone. However because of my childhood trauma it was I learn to do so I could feel safe. I have CPTSD depression and anxiety. I was diagnosed a year ago with MS. I feel trapped in my circumstance.
I'm sending you love and light from the US.
Please take care of yourself.
Greetings from Denmark. 🇩🇰
I am so sorry for what you guys are going through. So, so sorry.
@@tracyzimmerman7912 Thank you, my friend so much ❤️🩹 Even a good word could help. I really hope we all can go through, there is so much beauty in this world. Stay safe and strong too. Every new day is a win! Sending you the Force 🙌🏻 You are a good person and I believe you must be that good to yourself and don't need to underestimate our enemy and our feelings.
@@JeDindkThank you so much! ❤️ Your support is greatly appreciated! Be safe too and try to enjoy every moment.
I've often fallen into the trap of imagining a potential relationship and how good it could be, only to have it shattered by reality.
I think it's normal to fantasise about possibilities to try them out in theory, but it's important to not become lost in them, and to be prepared for people rarely feeling the same way.
Most love is unrequited.
I agree with you 100%. But for some of us, it's the last grace. It's the only reliable thing, tool, mechanism, that we have that enables us to actually keep going.
Thank you for all your awesome content! Can you talk more about the serious damage of escapism in another video? Definitely something I indulge in.
Reality is such a nightmare. My fantasy world in my head is the only thing that keeps me going.
Thanks for your videos ,they are eye opening.
OMG. I've just put a name to what I've been doing almost on a daily basis as far back I can remember. The worst part is that I've talked to my psychiatrist about it, and I still have gotten more information in this minute and a half video. 😣
Its fantastic! THANK YOU
Great insight!
It’s sooo tempting though. I’m trying to figure out how to push past the temptation without just finding a different escape method
loneliness is a killer
That should be in all caps! It's also something we, everyone really, need to find accessible ways to circumvent it, loneliness that is.
@@elizabethhannah6836 absolutely! I mean ABSOLUTELY
How's that? Give yourself a stroke?
"Real life" is dangerous. Escapism is an attempt to escape that real danger, which you have already experienced . . . many, many, times and often as child with no other escape available. And "real life" has made you more aware of the depressive and endemic danger than others, and anyone that aware would want to escape. Don't let anyone make your escapism "bad" and "a behavior to end" -- it's a tool and you just need a few more tools in your kit, and a project that brings you joy to work on -- so you're not a hammer that is only designed to "break glass in case of emergency". You can learn to properly examine your dreams and daydreams and escapist dreams in film, novel, games or mental fantasies ("properly" is not woo woo nonsense) and live a life richer than all those folks with a hammer they call "logic" with which they beat down all creative thought and any recognition of the dangers of reality.
I've severe untreated CPTSD, lost my entire world & my identity 12yrs ago - no treatment works - & what I was recommended costs too much.
I'm an Empath so I intensely feel energies, emotions & feelings & absorb them like a Sponge..
So the Hell going on in this world affects me drastically & makes my personal pain & suffering from Complex PTSD unbearable💔
I'm not functional in any way & my automatic escape - which aint helping - is that I stare into space, lost in my own Hell..& sleep..
💯% Broken & Burned Out😥
Sorry to hear that. With problems like this you wish to just have broken your legs - that's easy ti cure......
Best wishes from Germany !!!
Thanks!!
I’m alone with poor health and agoraphobic. What else is there but to escape into my own thoughts? I don’t follow soaps, in fact don’t watch TV at all. I do read a newspaper every day so I’m aware of the real world I just can’t live in it without an escape route. I had a happy childhood but also invented my own idea of the world even then. I actually enjoy colouring and painting - I’m just amateur but I can lose myself for hours. I still appreciate the difference between the real and imagined but I don’t feel comfortable with the reality of my life such as it is now. I’m coping the only way I know how or perhaps not coping is more accurate. I’d like to hear more of your views on this topic. Very unusually for you were opening Pandora’s box without giving any hope at the end.
Ive had to recently stop watching all comedy shows, because ive developed some kind of maladaptive daydreaming around them. They have been like a surrogate social life, as Im really isolated for various reasons - i am autistic and have a chronic illness, and some other stuff. The fantasy was nice at the start, but then it became addictive, and I have not been in control. As soon as i get stressed or overwhelmed or lonely, my brain will flip into some fantasy about being on a comedy show or something like that. Ive also developed a fairly obsessive crush on a famous comedian, just as the icing on the cake.
Since ive stopped 'feeding' the fantasy though, by stopping watching the shows, it is gradually fading to more healthy levels, i think. Im trying to get more of an (actual real) social life, and i think when I manage it, the fantasies will probably reduce even more. They have also shown me whats important to me (connection, laughter, friendship) and I think i can work towards getting my own version of that, in reality. Its difficult, though.
Connection? Laughter? Friendship? With neurotypicals as a person with autism? Don't waste your time. I think a fantasy world is very helpful to keep your sanity. But I'd rather keep it active (produce the story yourself, even write it down if you like) not just consuming it from television, because you can learn a lot about yourself, your wishes, your needs from those stories and they can be a safe space throughout your entire life whenever you need one. I'd rather deem it a creative special interest than a dangerous escape from reality. Better than meltdown or shutdown, isn't it? Look out for some other person with autism and a sense of humor like you and keep the faith - there are lots of us! And if your story is really funny - please share it with us!
can you please make an in depth video about this? I'm currently stuck trying to break this addiction and failing over and over again, I don't know what I'm doing wrong and I feel like you could provide some actual insight regarding this issue because you helped a LOT with my suicidal ideations
I haven’t watched yet, but I personally have decided my mental health is better with some escapism. I need it to stay calm and out of constant fight/flight activation.
From my experience, mental escapism just leads to more fight/flight activation. It might make you calm in moment, but once you "return to reality" again then all that anxiety will just come back to you like a brick wall. And on top of that, when you constantly rely on mental escapism to calm down yourself down then you never learn to properly deal with the anxiety and how to grow from it. (When I say "you" I also mean myself, as I also tend to fall into this trap)
@@zugrath16 From my experience it doesn't. It leads to creativity, relaxation, a tempoary break from anxiety and better recovery.
@@DuDe-qw3zo I guess it depends on how you define "escapism" :). I don't think there's anything wrong with watching movies or playing video games for fun when you have time off... but as soon as you"re using it as a coping mechanism to escape anxiety then it does more harm than good (in my opinion). Then you become dependent on it and never really learn how to deal with the anxiety
@@zugrath16 It depends. And you need to define "dependent", too. I think it is a legit coping mechanism, especcially if you're not consuming but producing the story and if you can't fight or flight a situation and you have to go through stressful times. It can improve recovery, reduce stress and lead to very creative results. But I am speaking from an autistic point of view. For neurotypicals it might be dangerous if you think so, I can't say anything to that. But for me excessive daydreaming/writing and indulging in other special interests has helped my mental stability, my career and even my family life. I would strongly encourage it for people who are autistic or hypersensitive to regulate emotions. Consider that prolonged anxiety and stress can really damage your mental and physical health severely. Don't expose yourself to overwhelming stressors for longer than necessary.
@@DuDe-qw3zo I mean "dependent" as in being the only way for you to regulate your emotions. I have had periods of my life where I was binge-watching tv shows whenever I was tired or stressed out. I wanted to stop and do something more healthy but it felt impossible - since it was the only way I knew to deal with those negative emotions. I became "dependent" on it in the way that I wasn't able to stop whenever I felt bad. I wouldn't go as far as calling it an addiction, but it had many similar symptoms (since I couldn't control it and it negatively affected my life).
But I think you make a good point that this might different for people with autism. I can understand that for "neuro-divergent" people it's necessary to have things like that to stay in balance.
But my main point is basically - be aware of when you can't control your escapism. That's when it becomes harmful rather than beneficial.
So Doctor shatter-my-preferred-world,
What do I do?
100% agree.
I wish I knew how to mentally escape occasionally!?
There are lots of methods. For me, it's either working on fiction stories or worldbuilding, watching movies or TV, or playing video games or tabletop RPGs. Basically, it's immersing yourself into some sort of imaginary scenario that feels better than real life in some way, even if that way is just giving you the feeling that you have the power to change things when you feel powerless in real life or giving yourself an illusion of positive interaction with others that you may not get in real life.
I guess even social media scrolling and drugs are forms of escapism, too, in the sense that they disconnect you from whatever is wrong with your life, but I'd say either of these methods are way more damaging than the others I mentioned. Drugs for obvious reasons, and I've never used those, but social media scrolling has definitely done a number on my memory and attention span and wasted huge quantities of my time without providing any satisfaction aside from the online friends I've made that way.
Like he said in the video, if you get too deep into the habit it becomes way more motivating to just escape real life than to try to fix your real life. At the same time, I'm grateful I have a good imagination and that I can enjoy escapism, because that's probably at least 90% of what's enjoyable about my life, and has been for a long time, and I've been unable to fix my real life so far, and even if I had a good real life, I'd want to be able to enjoy these things at least sometimes.
Guilty here
Escape bedroom, lights off , darkness don’t wanna wake up in the morning - go back to sleep …. Day after day after day . What’s the bloody point ….
Now I have to add this to the list of reasons why it's too late for me 😂. I hope you will make a video on how to heal from/fix this "serious damage" we've already done after doing this for a long time (maybe our whole life)... Unless there's no way out anymore 😅 (30yo here who still can't believe she's 30😅)
I would give my left and right arms to be able to escape momentarily from Current Year. The world today is just one long intrusive thought.
Brilliantly put.
If we stop it the entertainment industry would collapse 😂
Oh no
I am in neither world!! 😮
Is there a way the two worlds can cross over ?
I sleep for 2-3 days without eating, drinking, no shower at all, ofcourse because I slept too long and when I woke up, I feel so tired and hurts my whole body and also dry like I feel so dehydrated, is that normal?
No, I don't believe this is "normal" nor is it good for anyone, physically, mentally and emotionally. This is only my opinion, I hope that you can find a way to a mental health professional.
#immersivedaydreaming #MaladaptiveDaydreaming
Dangerous? I don't know. I try not to think about it. 😶
Nah, I'm legit considering retiring full-time to my memory palace, a la Hannibal Lecter.