The Hidden Link Between Intelligence and Depression

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  • Опубліковано 24 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 3,3 тис.

  • @famousutopias
    @famousutopias 5 місяців тому +2691

    When I was a kid I assumed that at some point as I grew to adulthood that the adult world would finally make sense. I’m 62 and still waiting

    • @lornalouw5548
      @lornalouw5548 5 місяців тому +26

      Same!

    • @sadiemakesmesmile
      @sadiemakesmesmile 5 місяців тому +145

      The adult world makes sense to me now, but it isn’t pretty… it’s very very sad.

    • @jeankipper6954
      @jeankipper6954 5 місяців тому +13

      I sure get that.

    • @GoatMan20240
      @GoatMan20240 5 місяців тому +57

      I had a similar experience. Thought that as an adult i would just understand what to do in life, and i would not be as anxious... lol yeah right

    • @GoatMan20240
      @GoatMan20240 5 місяців тому +15

      ​@@sadiemakesmesmilei felt that way after listening to noam chomsky

  • @januaryoctober8618
    @januaryoctober8618 5 місяців тому +1786

    "The more youre aware of what the world is all about, the sadder you become. But it's also incrediby validating." So, so true.

    • @turtleanton6539
      @turtleanton6539 5 місяців тому +13

      Indeed🎉🎉🎉😊

    • @marcodarko6941
      @marcodarko6941 5 місяців тому +90

      I'd rather deal with and face the unpleasant and painful truth than adapt to a flowery, comfortable lie.

    • @natcat1984
      @natcat1984 5 місяців тому +4

      Exactly 💯

    • @rongike
      @rongike 5 місяців тому +67

      @@marcodarko6941 the average people aren't comfortable anymore either, they're all in fear and chasing pride to band aid their insecurities, it's exhausting to look at.

    • @marcodarko6941
      @marcodarko6941 5 місяців тому +6

      Yes.
      Indeed it is.@@rongike

  • @doob.
    @doob. 5 місяців тому +1258

    It’s frustrating when you can’t talk deeply with anyone, because talking normally is already deep for half of them.

    • @I_Kan
      @I_Kan 5 місяців тому +9

    • @mikel9656
      @mikel9656 5 місяців тому +59

      Depending on where you fall on the Bell curve, it's far greater than half lol

    • @ak5659
      @ak5659 5 місяців тому +24

      Hell, yes! Half the population is is 2+ SD below me and roughly 3/4 is 1+. Life's bad enough for me. What about the people who are really smart?

    • @hauntingattiffanys2537
      @hauntingattiffanys2537 4 місяці тому +5

      Agreed.

    • @mshonest07
      @mshonest07 4 місяці тому +11

      Yes, and it makes me want to cry…

  • @jaeljade3609
    @jaeljade3609 5 місяців тому +2445

    The world is for sure a kinda crappy place. No amount of medication is ever going to change that for me.

    • @favouritemusic8959
      @favouritemusic8959 5 місяців тому +121

      Beautifully said. So sad but true. Sending healing and 💚 from me to you. 👍👍

    • @OccuredJakub12
      @OccuredJakub12 5 місяців тому

      Solution: Fuck the world, get off the web

    • @mrs.reluctant4095
      @mrs.reluctant4095 5 місяців тому +65

      So true for me too. Best wishes to you

    • @johnCjr4671
      @johnCjr4671 5 місяців тому +65

      Agreed but theoretically we are in charge of our own lives and can try to make a living and try to find something satisfying for us rather than just making $ that we cant seem to keep anyway ! 😅

    • @peterneumann7145
      @peterneumann7145 5 місяців тому +76

      We are stuck with it. Make the best you can. Old age arrives rapidly so try and enjoy every second, even the bad ones

  • @Redmage913
    @Redmage913 5 місяців тому +650

    My dad told me when I was around ten that I noticed too much in life, and that I’d have a difficult time through life because I was so aware, made hidden connections, and immediately saw flaws in systems. He said it in the kindest, sympathetic way; it wasn’t an attack, or said to put me down. It was understanding and empathy in action.
    Got my autism diagnosis at 35, Asperger’s-style.

    • @jfo3000
      @jfo3000 5 місяців тому +59

      The ability to connect the dots can be difficult gift.

    • @lesawilkes5673
      @lesawilkes5673 5 місяців тому +22

      WOW! God blessed you with a decent father...

    • @drebugsita
      @drebugsita 5 місяців тому +13

      My dad was similar. I had trouble taking school tests and he remarked how it reminded him of his older cousin who he admired as a kid, very inventive and smart but he never passed a certain required test because of how he reasoned through one of the questions - all of the probabilities. My dad saw the comedic side but I think he was also baffled by our minds. In my thirties (after he'd passed, alas) I got diagnosed with inattentive ADHD.

    • @JeffCaplan313
      @JeffCaplan313 5 місяців тому +7

      The reason connecting the dots is so painful is because they're all arranged in a spiral formation making us feel like we're loopy or spinning in circles.

    • @lesawilkes5673
      @lesawilkes5673 5 місяців тому +16

      @@drebugsita I don't value any diagnosis; you can see multiple professionals/doctors and get multiple "labels." I believe we are hypersensitive for whatever reason. I don't take meds. because they worsen my condition, horrible side effects... God bless you.

  • @stevenpace892
    @stevenpace892 3 місяці тому +36

    Rumination: a useful intellectual trait, basically hyper-persistent, but obviously a trait associated with depression.
    Self awareness, powerful but also with a potential for depression.
    Also, If you are intelligent, the pressure is often on you to come up with the solution whenever something goes wrong.

    • @TheJeremyKentBGross
      @TheJeremyKentBGross 2 місяці тому +4

      Rumination allows near flawless engineering solutions, IF I can channel it that way. Often it goes into conversations that already happened or some other thing that probably isn't emotionally healthy but increases understanding.

  • @harbingerbk1
    @harbingerbk1 5 місяців тому +431

    "So in conclusion, being depressed doesn't mean you're stupid, it might actually mean you're really smart. Being smart can suck sometimes because the world is kind of a crappy place. The end." This is exactly it 😭

    • @jackmabel6067
      @jackmabel6067 5 місяців тому +14

      Ignorance is bliss!

    • @EggEnjoyer
      @EggEnjoyer 5 місяців тому +11

      Nope. That’s not what he said.
      He said that smart brains construct depressive narratives easier. So it’s not that smart people are attuned to some kind of truth. No they just manufacture negative states of mind very well

    • @jeremyjackson7429
      @jeremyjackson7429 5 місяців тому +22

      @@EggEnjoyer While you're correct that smart brains construct depressive narratives easier, those depressive narratives also tend to be closer to reality. This phenomenon is known as depressive realism. The term "depressive narrative" arises because most people tend to construct overly optimistic stories about their lives.
      I do admit, functioning in modern society often necessitates a degree of self-delusion. Why? Because most people mistake charisma/confidence with intelligence. That's why everyone regurgitates "fake it till you make it" (aka self-delusion & hope nobody notices).
      And much of the time this self-delusion works but not always which is why we have Bernie Madoff, Elizabeth Holmes, and Sam Bankman-Fried.

    • @EggEnjoyer
      @EggEnjoyer 5 місяців тому +1

      @@jeremyjackson7429 I largely disagree. Your self beliefs define you. Fake it till you make is the means enough which one becomes competent and confident. You can’t excel socially if you operate with the negative belief that you are disliked. And I don’t think such a presumption is closer to reality or helpful to your functioning at all.
      There’s a reason intelligent people are known to die alone in the gutter and it’s not because they have a more realistic view of reality. It’s because anxiety and depression more easily dictated their minds and stunts them and leaves them marooned. It’s a fault. Why glorify or vindicate it?

    • @2bNot
      @2bNot 5 місяців тому +15

      Remember also that if you have a high IQ, including in most scenarios, even being gifted, you will become a target and people might be jealous, but also malicious.
      Which is not what high IQ's might expect.
      Those things will often make no sense to an intelligent mind.
      Especially if they were also suppressed or rejected in childhood.
      Their psychology can sway towards feeling inadequate, or inappropriate, or somehow not worthy.
      Tending towards depression, having been suppressed, oppressed, unfulfilled...
      Just saying on behalf of a friend.

  • @justone3243
    @justone3243 5 місяців тому +1220

    Living with dumb people and beeing forced to do dumb things makes me sick and pulls me down.
    Not beeing able to live your full potential kills your whole life.

    • @nataliaalfonso2662
      @nataliaalfonso2662 5 місяців тому +46

      No one brilliant is living even 10% of their potential.

    • @smrtt92
      @smrtt92 5 місяців тому +4

      Are you sure you know what the full potential is

    • @MissAstronautCat
      @MissAstronautCat 5 місяців тому +48

      I use to think the same way but then I thought to myself how true is this statement? What conditions will make me see my true potential? Isn't this victim mindset? So many thoughts tbh

    • @nataliaalfonso2662
      @nataliaalfonso2662 5 місяців тому +40

      @@MissAstronautCat almost nobody in the history of the world has ever reached their full potential. Not how reality works.
      It’s not a victim mindset if it’s understood as part of the human experience.

    • @natasavelimirovic6155
      @natasavelimirovic6155 5 місяців тому +52

      Yes! I tried so hard for decades to suppres my intelligence, not to be a black sheep, not to make me look like an arrogant person. But at the end, they still took me for one and I ended up with depression in hospital, loosing my identity completely. Now, Yes, I am intelligent and Yes, you are welcome to call me arrogant, I actually do not care anymore. Last check with my doctor, she asked me if I think that I am intelligent and smart and for the first time in my life I dared to say YES, I AM. And I felt good about it.

  • @peternolan4107
    @peternolan4107 4 місяці тому +63

    I was severely abused in my childhood, so I never had that idyllic phase. I also have a very high IQ. This episode really hit me between the eyes!
    I am 75 and have dealt with depression virtually my whole life. Your assessment of high intelligence and a clearer view of how the world really is makes perfect sense to me. And it makes sense of why so many people have told me over the years, "You take things too seriously!" I usually feel others don't take things seriously enough.
    Thank you.

    • @marietteestabrook4098
      @marietteestabrook4098 3 місяці тому +1

      I have a feeling your high IQ is in part why you were severely abused. I’ve worked in a mental health capacity most of my working life and frequently saw high IQ kids get beaten by their parents or caregivers. It’s not your fault it’s just you could see injustice, hypocrisy and probably spoke out. Authoritarian figures don’t like that.

    • @btw500
      @btw500 Місяць тому +3

      You take it easy and try to find some peace.

  • @bravelittleroomba
    @bravelittleroomba 5 місяців тому +870

    Learning that humanity can only thrive in ignorance has been a tough pill to swallow.

    • @JB52520
      @JB52520 5 місяців тому +43

      Because there are at least some people of stunning intellect who are capable of thriving, humanity is still making progress. And if humanity gets smart enough, the likelihood increases that intelligence can be artificially boosted and depression can be eliminated. So maybe your statement is only true for the majority of humanity for the time being. If it's not a fundamental aspect of human existence, then it's okay to be smart and well.
      As for my life, I'm so depressed that I can only evaluate my intelligence based on my failures, like being utterly incapable of understanding scientific papers, learn languages, find love, make money, or take care of my life. I'm permanently alone, disabled, and poor. I can never afford my own transportation, I'm dependent on my mom, and I'm 48. I'm a moron who understands the futility of my existence with painful clarity. Everything will only get worse, and it's already terrible. With intelligence, I could overcome this. Unfortunately, I care about things which require it, and this makes me feel exceedingly stupid.

    • @danielj3594
      @danielj3594 5 місяців тому +6

      Neohumanism is the ideal model for humanity.

    • @bobsnittle3793
      @bobsnittle3793 5 місяців тому +1

      sure is

    • @pysq8
      @pysq8 5 місяців тому +8

      😅 gotta put quotation marks around "thrive" on that one ❤

    • @AntonioPardini
      @AntonioPardini 5 місяців тому

      @@JB52520Keep Your Head Up Man, Your Alive, well, able to read write and obviously Able to articulate yourself and your feelings.
      We woke up today, many didn’t
      Besides, these skills most don’t have… don’t get down on yourself by judging from other.
      We all play our part and they are ALL equal contrary to popular belief or how it may look to you.
      Dont believe everything you think or feel, sometimes our brains lie to us…
      (just a thought)
      🙏❤️

  • @NicholasRawlins-tf7ug
    @NicholasRawlins-tf7ug 5 місяців тому +374

    High intelligence + autism +depression makes it nearly impossible to be positive or functional around normal people. You see the problems, the lies, and the precipice long we are going over it. Some days you hope you're lucky and aren't here when it finally all goes over the cliff.

    • @ChickenMcThiccken
      @ChickenMcThiccken 5 місяців тому +31

      so basically on hardcore mode with negative starting stats LMAO

    • @EUROPA-THE-LAST-BATTL
      @EUROPA-THE-LAST-BATTL 5 місяців тому +7

      Same here

    • @tnix80
      @tnix80 4 місяці тому +12

      The gifts come at a high cost

    • @NewYasmine-nl9jq
      @NewYasmine-nl9jq 4 місяці тому +5

      Just hang out with similar people

    • @ranmakb
      @ranmakb 4 місяці тому +4

      Same thing here...

  • @TheDextermat
    @TheDextermat 5 місяців тому +159

    In high school I had an IQ test, got 141 IQ. Realize in these days how cruel are human beings and never recover. 30 years later still can't adjust to a profoundly sick society. Thank you for putting in words what I am feeling and living.

    • @EUROPA-THE-LAST-BATTL
      @EUROPA-THE-LAST-BATTL 4 місяці тому +3

      Same here I always questioned how life is going and then stumbled in the rabit hole..
      We live in a zombie land no one is aware of nothing just consuming whatever !! They don’t know that we are being led to hell and all of it is by design this sick society that you’re talking about!! I’m 28 years old 20 of them depressed 😔 and now actually isolated and having no clue how to fit in society
      Europa
      The
      Last
      Battle
      May give you a relief that there are some creatures responsible for all of this pain in the earth.

    • @dianecleary1054
      @dianecleary1054 4 місяці тому

      Yep. Me too

    • @goblinorgy
      @goblinorgy 4 місяці тому +13

      135 here and yeah been self medicating the burn out. I can't imagine the utopia we could build if we focused on lifelong education instead of infinite profit. Who knows how much brain drain we are suffering under our economic order of society.

    • @VitorFM
      @VitorFM 4 місяці тому +5

      Same here, on 1% bell curve. But to me, the most cruel thing, is that people don't like to use their brains and prefer to slowly kills themselves then stop and give second thoughts or do a less shallow analysis. Because if everyone is driving like I will force my car over others, nobody is having any advantages... The more kindness you give, the more you would receive. But people think they are smart by taking advantages of kindness, but in reality, they are shooting theirs own foot.

    • @impyrobot
      @impyrobot 3 місяці тому

      @@EUROPA-THE-LAST-BATTL meh as long as you acquire wealth and power you will just be fine, the masses are the ones who usually suffer, historically speaking.

  • @kevindie
    @kevindie 5 місяців тому +337

    *_I know people that watch TV all day; the same shows at the same times, sometimes new episodes, sometimes reruns… I used to think how sad of a life that was, but as I grew older, I realized they were extremely happy with their life and I was the one living the sad life. 😅_*

    • @ngeee10
      @ngeee10 5 місяців тому +12

      This is a very good way of looking at it 😂 I do this all the time.

    • @Ana-jf1ch
      @Ana-jf1ch 5 місяців тому +28

      @@kevindie it's called confort shows. We all have those movies and series we watch to feel good and in peace, I love old black and white movies and crime series!

    • @cathlaurs9754
      @cathlaurs9754 4 місяці тому +16

      Watching TV got me through the worst times in my life. It's a fantasy world and a comfort that I escape to - I thank TV!

    • @lynnc5649
      @lynnc5649 4 місяці тому +9

      I didn't grow up on TV and never took to it. UA-cam is awesome though!

    • @krymz1
      @krymz1 4 місяці тому +3

      @ana-j no, I have to wait years to rewatch something I already seen, and even then I don't really feel like it. If I already know what is going to happen then there's not much interest in that.

  • @simonrobinson2484
    @simonrobinson2484 5 місяців тому +503

    If you lose someone you love - grief is a contextually appropriate emotion.
    In a world of confusion anger and war - what normal person would not feel depressed ?

    • @nocando89
      @nocando89 5 місяців тому +34

      Very true comment.

    • @ChainShrine
      @ChainShrine 5 місяців тому +100

      “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” - Jiddu Krishnamurt

    • @D.A.E.504
      @D.A.E.504 5 місяців тому +13

      I lost it when I lose my brother it been 7 to this day I light a candle every morning for him I'm sick of people saying to get over it way can't I move on

    • @TheSubpremeState
      @TheSubpremeState 5 місяців тому +5

      Cos your addicted to the......news.....cos bad news gives a adrenaline hit. Been there doing that as we speak but you got the Break away from that.
      Me after watching how China's paper tiger army would actually take over Taiwan in an hour plunging us into a depression 😂

    • @M-i-k-a-e-l
      @M-i-k-a-e-l 5 місяців тому +3

      Good one.

  • @MagdaleneMinistries
    @MagdaleneMinistries 5 місяців тому +83

    This is why I was on drugs for so many years I've been sober for almost three months and im learning to cope with being stuck here .

    • @brainkill7034
      @brainkill7034 4 місяці тому

      Good for you, stick with it!

    • @matussatek6006
      @matussatek6006 4 місяці тому +3

      Keep it up bro, it is nearly full 1 year for me (alcohol) - i tought, that it was the booze, that made me miserable - nope, i used the booze just to cope with cartloads of BS and sheer stupidity of people

    • @Xstr3ngthz
      @Xstr3ngthz 3 місяці тому +1

      @@matussatek6006holy shit same here kinda glad I found this video and that I’m not alone I also struggle with alcohol and I really wanna get it out of my life because of the many negative things that happen with it, using it as an escape from reality can turn bad lol

    • @latterette
      @latterette 3 місяці тому

      un stuck is freedom

    • @matussatek6006
      @matussatek6006 3 місяці тому +1

      @@Xstr3ngthz After that time i can say, that fighting off alcohol is rather easy - you know who the enemy is, what he does and so on. After sobering up, i saw all the BS in true colors - building a relationship, trying for a career in this F economy (purposefully f-ed up might i say) - like i sobered up for the ˇworldˇ or ˇlifeˇ and it is this BS? From time to time i contemplate relapsing, because even if it is S, it is atleast S i know

  • @svenjadrums
    @svenjadrums 5 місяців тому +536

    I was just thinking about this today, combine a high IQ and some form of childhood trauma and you will learn way too early that this world is a dark place...I remembered that I used to ask myself these questions when I was like 6 or 7 years old...why life on earth is the way it is, and what if everything was different? What if I was never born? What if I had different parents?What if there were no humans at all....couldn't find answers or talk to anyone about that and it always left me with a very unpleasant feeling in my stomach.

    • @1chumley1
      @1chumley1 5 місяців тому +36

      Since childhood I have always gotten stuck on philosophical questions. I remember asking my dad if there was a hell, shouldn't we spend all of our short time on Earth doing everything to avoid going there for eternity? Never got the answer I wanted, but being raised in the church didn't help with this. I took it seriously.

    • @thijsjong
      @thijsjong 5 місяців тому +52

      @@1chumley1 when I was 8 or 9 I concluded religion was wrong. Life made no sense and I knew I could not talk to my parents about it because I knew they never thought about these things and my questions would scare them.
      Why would a god create the world as it is. Why create death. Why create heaven or hell. Is that all made up. Is the bible just mythology. Etc. Etc. Religon offered zero answers or the abswers were illogical. I rejected the premisses of religion.

    • @thijsjong
      @thijsjong 5 місяців тому +61

      Being too intelligent can ruin your childhood. You discovered questions most pepple dont discover in their lifetime. You leapfrogged parts of your development. Like the movie isnt fun when you know how them movie will go after the first 10 minutes.

    • @chana8301
      @chana8301 5 місяців тому +29

      Lol, I remember in kindergarten going around to other kids early on and asking them if they could think. I wanted to talk about thinking. And I was noticing racism already in the classroom. Specifically how the kindergarten teachers were treating kids differently based on skin color and separately, but to a lesser extent, whether they were wearing nice clothes. The other kids were friendly but seemed a bit confused by me and my interests, oddly enough.

    • @DaveE99
      @DaveE99 5 місяців тому +14

      @@chana8301 like “bro this is a Wendy’s”

  • @TheDutchessOfCornville
    @TheDutchessOfCornville 5 місяців тому +431

    I feel like a constant failure, so it’s kinda nice to be reminded once in awhile that I’m not awful.

    • @mYcRiSpDiScK
      @mYcRiSpDiScK 5 місяців тому +5

      You're a beautiful soul, keep at it!

    • @Subdood04
      @Subdood04 5 місяців тому +4

      FWIW, you’re not alone.

    • @rongike
      @rongike 5 місяців тому +7

      it's not bad to be a failure in a failed society. own it.

    • @xxxthwagdrakexxx4672
      @xxxthwagdrakexxx4672 5 місяців тому

      Same

    • @deborahbull5968
      @deborahbull5968 5 місяців тому +2

      Your not a failure just our brains don't work like other people's in a sometimes crazy world we feel things to much 😘 Hun

  • @antinatalope
    @antinatalope 5 місяців тому +11

    I was asking myself existential questions as a kid. This is really hitting home.

  • @jhfdhgvnbjm75
    @jhfdhgvnbjm75 5 місяців тому +629

    At 13, I was tested and got 138. At 35, life is really lonely, dark and miserable. This video is very helpful to know I'm not crazy and completely cracked.

    • @joostvhts
      @joostvhts 5 місяців тому +26

      Same, we're apparently not alone

    • @diandriasmith889
      @diandriasmith889 5 місяців тому +74

      It's not just you. I personally have no idea what my IQ is (I always assumed it was just average) because I was never tested. Funny enough, I'm now one of the people who does the testing. But everything is very lonely and disconnected, even with my family around. I hate it. I'm trying to combat it every day. I notice that I'm becoming part of the chronically-online community, mostly because I'm trying to escape my feelings. I hope everyone can find something positive to hold onto.

    • @pmarreck
      @pmarreck 5 місяців тому +15

      Same IQ at same age.
      Have you had the relationship where you were perfect matches emotionally and physically but because the mental interaction was not close enough to the same level, you had to go, but also never found anyone else that close to you emotionally and physically (if mentally)?
      Would not recommend.

    • @nataliaalfonso2662
      @nataliaalfonso2662 5 місяців тому +4

      @@diandriasmith889why don’t you take one of the tests you administer?

    • @C-Farsene_5
      @C-Farsene_5 5 місяців тому +5

      as someone who has a below average rating score, I can relate, and I'm a tad younger

  • @DawnTrelawney
    @DawnTrelawney 5 місяців тому +168

    This is why they say "Ignorance is bliss." I am hyperaware of everything going on around me (I then analyze it). I also love to learn. That said, my depression has haunted me my whole life.

    • @DeepsGnome
      @DeepsGnome 5 місяців тому +3

      Sorry, but the reality is the world can be a hard and difficult place, but an intelligent person can assess and process this without letting in cause them depression. Actually, most people that are depressed are mid/average level intelligence. Depressed people are not the least intelligent people, because they can at least assess and understand hard situations around them, but they aren't intelligent enough to navigate that situation in a healthy way.
      Sad truth. If your depressed you're most likely mid/average intelligence.
      A strong link between depression and personality type, is narcissistic tendency. In that you analyse the things around you, but you make it all about you, and centre yourself in the situation, which increases your level of sadness, without the intellectual ability to navigate and process that.

    • @Allyfyn
      @Allyfyn 4 місяці тому +1

      ​@@DeepsGnomeI somewhat agree, I've always thought that I'd be depressed if I *wasn't* smart because I wouldn't have the ability to process things.

    • @DeepsGnome
      @DeepsGnome 4 місяці тому

      @@Allyfyn just to clarify, i didn't say people that were depressed were more likely to be not smart. I said more likely average, or below intelligence. Average people are still intelligent, just not at the highest level of intelligence, which most people are not. Most people are at the average. That's why it's called average.

    • @Allyfyn
      @Allyfyn 4 місяці тому

      @@DeepsGnome Yes, I understood. By 'not smart', I mean not average.

    • @DeepsGnome
      @DeepsGnome 4 місяці тому

      @@Allyfyn yes, but its also not the full story. Narcissistic and ego-centric personality traits also contribute.

  • @bratanyaroslav3561
    @bratanyaroslav3561 4 місяці тому +14

    YES!!!! that is exactly why I love alcohol! I was sober for a year and couldn't stand it. People constantly say things that make no sense, like going to a location where it is logistically difficult to get home at the very time we have planned to go home. If I'm drunk its way easier to just go with that stupid plan and not be the "difficult" guy in the group. Ever since I've been young, I've thought why I love alcohol so much, because it has always been related to socializing.

    • @btw500
      @btw500 Місяць тому +1

      You just nailed it. Thank you for letting me know that you’ve experienced this as well.

  • @johnomirth
    @johnomirth 5 місяців тому +402

    When I was about 10 years old, an older cousin said to my mother that she didn't understand why people would want to bring children into such an unhappy world. My mother was shocked at such an attitude, but I totally agreed with it. 10 years old, and already such a dark view of life! Ten years later I saw a psychologist for a depression that had led me to drop out of college. He gave me an IQ test, and told me I had an IQ of 139. I've struggled with depression almost my entire life, and I've often felt far less intelligent than an IQ of 139 would indicate. I have gradually accepted that it has been my depression that kept me from fully harnessing my potential intelligence. Your talk today confirms my theory. It also confirms my belief that the more aware you are of reality, the darker and more pessimistic your outlook on life is. I remember reading a Time magazine article from 50+ years ago about a Scottish psychologist or psychiatrist named Laing who thought insanity was a reasonable response to the realities of life. Did I read recently that there's a theory that various brain chemicals, like dopamine, serve to impair our perception of reality, and that lower levels of those chemicals allows one to perceive reality more clearly...which in turn leads to psychological problems like depression?

    • @Job.Well.Done_01
      @Job.Well.Done_01 5 місяців тому +26

      Your story is very similar to mine.

    • @OfWavesAndWinds
      @OfWavesAndWinds 5 місяців тому +23

      Thank you for sharing your story. Very interesting.

    • @SweetStuffOnMonarchLane
      @SweetStuffOnMonarchLane 5 місяців тому +27

      Interesting. I have ADHD Inattentive type, which means I have low dopamine levels, or my brain is unable to use it correctly. I remember thinking about big, worldly things as a child, and I still think that way. I routinely got high marks in school/college but have never had my IQ tested. I sure have been feeling a decline in that area over the last few years though.

    • @Cocoanutty0
      @Cocoanutty0 5 місяців тому +40

      I also had an IQ test done. My parents had called me smart my whole life, but I never felt that way. I did ok in school but not amazingly or anything. I often missed milestones and social cues and felt stupid and confused a lot of the time. I had even been bullied once by being called dumb in high school. My IQ is 132. I’ve been depressed since childhood, and, as it turns out, also autistic. Which was not at all obvious so I’m honestly surprised I ever thought about it enough to pursue testing when I was 25. The lady doing my autism assessment was the one to do my IQ test, and she told me that intelligence masks things like autism because we can logic our way out of situations and appear ok when we aren’t.

    • @7Whims
      @7Whims 5 місяців тому +17

      watched a video by healthygamergg recently on yt, what you're saying about how depressed people see reality more clearly is right, however it comes at the cost of being unable to view yourself clearly; humans arent built to see reality clearly

  • @ewmurphy
    @ewmurphy 5 місяців тому +274

    Sad but true, ignorance is bliss...

    • @leemorris8723
      @leemorris8723 5 місяців тому +6

      truth and also my one wish

    • @error53ish
      @error53ish 5 місяців тому +15

      The great irony is that it is only truly valued, and understood, by the people that suffer from the negative connotations of this quip.

    • @polespinosa4858
      @polespinosa4858 5 місяців тому +6

      Not for me. My brain can't lie to itself.
      Ignorance and trust just harms me. People are dishonest or delusional. And It hurts a lot.

    • @ewmurphy
      @ewmurphy 5 місяців тому +4

      @@polespinosa4858 Ignorance as in not knowing, is not denial. Scott suggested denial which is lie to oneself. There is a difference.

    • @wintermatherne2524
      @wintermatherne2524 5 місяців тому

      Willfull ignorance

  • @likeke.benoyt
    @likeke.benoyt 2 місяці тому +7

    For in much wisdom is much vexation, and whoever increases knowledge increases sorrow. -Ecclesiastes

  • @avimae4225
    @avimae4225 5 місяців тому +176

    2nd grade I read at college level. While in 7th grade, they put me in 12th grade advanced math. The kids beat me up. They pulled me out and put me back into 7th grade class but gave me the advanced math work. The kids made fun of me for being stupid and "kicked" out of senior math. It was a no-win. IQ of 138. My dad told me every day I was stupid and no one would ever love me. He did things to me that should have put him in jail. I became really good at solving problems. It's been a lifetime of on and off depression. Thank you for filling in the blanks for me! I'm 60 now, and my life finally makes sense.

    • @skeletorlikespotatoes7846
      @skeletorlikespotatoes7846 5 місяців тому +1

      Okay 😂 everyone has a story now

    • @SteveShiyan
      @SteveShiyan 5 місяців тому +10

      I put up with mental and physical abuse as a child and I thought as I grew up that things would change for the better but I was mistaken. I thought people would eventually mature and become better human beings. But those same people today are still the assholes today as they were then. I decided to withdraw from interacting with society and I am so much happier without dealing with the people that were dragging me down.

    • @dangerpowers4582
      @dangerpowers4582 5 місяців тому +7

      I'm sorry that happened to you. I've found that people - especially when they're kids - tend to be extremely envious of smart people. I assume they perceive the reason for an intelligent peer answering a lot of the teacher's questions, as showing off.

    • @lesawilkes5673
      @lesawilkes5673 5 місяців тому +6

      @@dangerpowers4582 I perceive that not only do they think that you're showing off, but they strongly dislike it and can be very unkind, even hateful. I had some awesome friends though...

    • @dangerpowers4582
      @dangerpowers4582 5 місяців тому +6

      @lesawilkes5673 I'm glad to hear you at least had some good friends. At the end of the day: we're social creatures, and we need at least a few good people in our live's. One thing I wanted when I was around 11 or 12 was friends, and I wanted a lot of them, but eventually, I found my friend group, and I realized it's better to have a few friends you can count on than a lot of friends that won't do shit for you.

  • @yellow_jacket3260
    @yellow_jacket3260 5 місяців тому +256

    I am not sure if any other smart people can relate, but have you ever felt like you are being punished for being smart? Its like the world is trying to gaslight you in thinking they understand, but really they just don't

    • @askask7468
      @askask7468 5 місяців тому +41

      This has been my experience in life. Punished for being smart, as a result I'm behind in everything compared to my peers

    • @miguelheat
      @miguelheat 5 місяців тому +18

      This is probably the first time i can relate to someone else on this one. Wow. Thank you, both of you

    • @coltthestarsheriff3544
      @coltthestarsheriff3544 5 місяців тому +57

      I don't think I'm smart, but I have got the impression that people don't really like intelligent people. Unless you have obtained some status symbols (good grades, PHD, a good job, money) to back it up. Otherwise it's like it doesn't count, being smart for being smart. If you're not successful, people will regularly attack your opinions, call you stupid and all other kinds of bullying, telling how you are full of s..t.. And they will call less intelligent but more successful people smart. There is no consistency in applying adverb intelligent, no fixed meanings, only to say how much they hate your gifts if you can't adjust to social expectations.

    • @douweworks
      @douweworks 5 місяців тому +7

      @@coltthestarsheriff3544it sounds smarter to say you’re not smart than to say you do.

    • @coltthestarsheriff3544
      @coltthestarsheriff3544 5 місяців тому +10

      @@douweworks maybe it does, but that feeling of being stupid will never leave me. When you have learning disability, it feels like you're stupid on most days. And people weren't forgiving about that when I was growing up, they still aren't. In practice day to day life, it's like you don't have IQ at all.

  • @M.Sforza
    @M.Sforza 3 місяці тому +16

    When I was about 9 years old I would look at myself in the mirror and say my name over and over and feel like everything was unreal including myself. I would run to my mother and just ask her to hold me as if doing that made everything real again. I guess I was experiencing depersonalization and derealization. I would question what we were all doing in this unreal world. A world that didn’t make much sense to me. I felt like I came from another planet and was dropped off here with no instructions. I felt abandoned.

    • @theinfamousTeyo
      @theinfamousTeyo 3 місяці тому +1

      I feel that I have never felt human I didn't feel understood and I've felt this the moment school started for me I would walk around in the fields just thinking if I wasn't with my "friends"

    • @ak5659
      @ak5659 3 місяці тому +3

      I feel you on the 'no instructions' part. I've noticed most people insist that I got one but that I just refuse to read it.

  • @bonessasan
    @bonessasan 5 місяців тому +141

    No wonder ADHD has a high correlation with depression, the symptoms overlap a lot.
    "But you're so smart!" has been said to me by multiple people throughout my life when I was struggling a lot. Well yes, I'm smart, but I can't always utilize that intelligence well and sometimes it's like I can't at all. The fastest car in the world would be essentially useless if it couldn't be steered, no matter how fast it was capable of going.

    •  5 місяців тому +18

      Just was I was thinking. Was diagnosed just a couple of years ago, and I am soon 50. Always been told "you are so smart. Why do you not perform better?" ADHD seems like having the symptomes of depression, but there is no real cure. Like having a really fast computer, but the mouse and keyboard works really bad.

    • @TheBitPunch
      @TheBitPunch 5 місяців тому +1

      I relate so much to your description.

    • @yoloyoko4822
      @yoloyoko4822 5 місяців тому +10

      I HATE “but you’re so smart” or its cousin “You have potential” UGHHHHHHHHHHH

    • @anab0lic
      @anab0lic 5 місяців тому

      Adhd is bs, made up medical term to sell drugs. You most likely just need to train yourself to be able to focus better... average persons lifestyle these days does the opposite it erodes their ability to focus for long periods.

    • @ziephel-6780
      @ziephel-6780 5 місяців тому +9

      That certainly explains my own difficulties. My thoughts run faster than me being able to utilize them properly to take initiative.

  • @Samos900
    @Samos900 5 місяців тому +635

    Smart enough to know things suck, but not smart enough to know how to cope

    • @jessiejamesferruolo
      @jessiejamesferruolo 5 місяців тому +31

      Not really about being smart enough. More like ignorance. Sometimes you need to learn how to cope.

    • @bleensteen9331
      @bleensteen9331 5 місяців тому +67

      Being smarter makes you worse at coping or to be more specific, it makes your intelligence outpace the coping mechanisms that work just fine for ordinary people.

    • @thearcanamodernau8130
      @thearcanamodernau8130 5 місяців тому +79

      spoiler alert: you can never be smart enough to know how to cope. You can only be willingly delusional, at least to some degree, just enough to convince yourself things aren't that bad.

    • @goldensloth7
      @goldensloth7 5 місяців тому +6

      @@thearcanamodernau8130 yup pretty much

    • @juless7807
      @juless7807 4 місяці тому +16

      Coping isn't intelligence, it's a skill. And, unless you end it, you are coping... just maybe not effectively. Yet, addicts have found an effective coping mechanism that doesn't serve their overall health or life- in most cases. Coping is about more than just being smart.

  • @blissiimo2064
    @blissiimo2064 Місяць тому +3

    Im a clinical psychologist, currently going through a period of sever depression and I got a great deal from this podcast, I learned some brilliant distinctions. thanks for sharing your energy and expertise !

  • @ImprobablePhantasm
    @ImprobablePhantasm 5 місяців тому +223

    The social isolation of a high IQ is real. It often comes from both sides, without any malice or ill intent. Often, you just don't have anything to talk about with most other people. You don't think you're "better" than others, but you just can't find common ground. Others meanwhile might see you using an extensive vocabulary, or wandering off into topics that are too deep or obscure for their personal interest. At best, their eyes glaze over.
    All too often, they think you're showing off by using all those big words, when really it's just how you normally talk. Or worse, they might think you're somehow judging them, thinking to yourself how stupid they must be. Arrogance is too often assumed, and that only makes the rift grow even wider.
    It's lonely, and depressing.

    • @GjVj
      @GjVj 5 місяців тому +11

      Excellent summary.

    • @christinacutlass1694
      @christinacutlass1694 4 місяці тому +7

      Nailed it. I’m 69, dying from cancer, isolated my WHOLE LIFE!

    • @impyrobot
      @impyrobot 3 місяці тому +1

      Only a stupid person cannot figure out how to talk to others of varying levels of intelligence. The most intelligent people can explain their extremely complex niche topic of expertise to a layman.
      Learn to simplify your vocabulary and explain things in simpler terms and find common ground. You can't expect to talk about psychology or neural network architecture as you would with academics to a menial labourer, if you struggle that much just make small talk about sports, news and the weather.

    • @pawloiox2585
      @pawloiox2585 3 місяці тому +2

      You described a fragment of my feeling wonderfully, thank you

    • @smusssato
      @smusssato 3 місяці тому +9

      Isolation also makes me insanely paranoid, bc I never had bad intentions towards people and always tried to help them in some way. Hatred and distancing is all I get. Being called weirdo, creepy, so on.
      Even my parents hate me to the guts.
      When I ask myself "why" I come to all kinds of conclusions except the most logical one.

  • @GotoGodDaily
    @GotoGodDaily 5 місяців тому +15

    “For in much wisdom is much grief. And he who increases knowledge increases sorrow.” Ecclesiastes 1:18 🙏❤️

    • @yvonnelebens1324
      @yvonnelebens1324 19 днів тому

      Yes, that is how i feel, my whole life allready!

  • @pamelatanner788
    @pamelatanner788 2 місяці тому +11

    My IQ is in the top 1% of the population. I had come to the conclusion several years ago that it is lonely at the ends of the bell curve. Even if it is the "good" end. I not only have depression but also ADD and cognitive dissociative syndrome. One of the things that depresses me is being aware of my intellectual abilities but not being able to use them much because they are handicapped by those disorders. Like having a race horse with shackles on its legs. Thanks so much for this video. It is very validating. Especially that being more aware of the big picture can be very depressing. And so frustrating that so many people wont even consider that big picture. Much less do anything about it (such as environmental problems).

    • @yvonnelebens1324
      @yvonnelebens1324 19 днів тому

      I am very gifted and I am very limited at the same time and that realisation helps me to accept it a bit more. I see the big picture too and it is so frustrating and painfull for me to live here but, here we are........what to do next. The older i get the harder it is, wisdom comes now more and more but the pain that I feel about the world and my anxiety make it so hard to life, then knowing that I have so much abilities and so much to give but have no clue what to do with it. Thanks for you share, it helps me and makes me feel less lonely!!! greatings, Yvonne

  • @Laz_RS
    @Laz_RS 5 місяців тому +145

    I have an IQ that is quiet high, my best friend has an IQ that is quite low. I've always been a envious of how much easier life is for my friend. This video really articulated what I've been feeling. I've always abstracted it as most people would choose to have the dumb lovable dog over the smart nervous one.

    • @catherineblair550
      @catherineblair550 5 місяців тому +16

      The theory is ridiculous, My IQ is as low AF and I am the most depressed person on the planet....mostly about having a low IQ.

    • @brasileiroloko5375
      @brasileiroloko5375 5 місяців тому +13

      ​@@catherineblair550I guess the grass is aways greaner on the other side.

    • @dblr4931
      @dblr4931 5 місяців тому +11

      Depression still exists completely outside of this conversation. This could just be one of the reasons a person can be experiencing depression. Others can be mental health, lack of financial stability, family life, not having quality friendships, just to name a few. The reason(s) discussed in the video doesn't negate other reasons for depression.

    • @blackdong4footwangnosucky
      @blackdong4footwangnosucky 5 місяців тому

      @@catherineblair550me too I’m dumb as a box of rocks

    • @blackdong4footwangnosucky
      @blackdong4footwangnosucky 5 місяців тому

      @youtuber-cc8sx50

  • @XZaceX
    @XZaceX 5 місяців тому +144

    Putting the whole 70 to 100 to 130 cognitive abilities into context actually really helps me. I so often wonder what is wrong with me that I just can't seem to be like normal people. To be so sucked into simple things like social media or what blah blah blah said or omg did you hear what (insert person) did etc etc. That when I talk about my interests people will zero into what I am saying and tell me how smart I am. You'd think I'd eat that up, but instead I find it so lonely. I don't want to be told how smart I am, i want people to challenge me and add their view point/opinion so we can learn and grow together. My mind is constantly under stimulated and I ironically find more comfort in the world of fantasy rather than the world of science even though I love it just as much. At least in the world of fantasy I have a lot of friends and am valued for who I am, rather than what I have to offer.
    That being said I love humanity and have a lot of hope for us. I just wish I felt a little more connected to said humanity. Instead of the black sheep that I've been most of my life. To anyone reading this, I love you and I so dearly hope with all my heart that you can find a reason to smile every single day. No matter how hard it is at times.

    • @JB52520
      @JB52520 5 місяців тому +6

      I've found that learning a foreign language is exceedingly humbling. I can't do it. But if you can, you'll be a new person. I'd learn Mandarin if I could. At least trying gave me a more realistic sense of my capabilities.
      Social inhibition prevents me from saying much about the love, but... Thanks, you too.

    • @nataliaalfonso2662
      @nataliaalfonso2662 5 місяців тому +7

      Well people that say “wow you’re so smart” are often saying “wow you can’t read a room.”

    • @XZaceX
      @XZaceX 5 місяців тому

      @@nataliaalfonso2662 Huh, I never thought I might have cpoor social skills. Thanks wise,mysterious stranger!

    • @MielaMaze
      @MielaMaze 5 місяців тому

      ❤❤❤🌝

    • @CH-fc8dm
      @CH-fc8dm 5 місяців тому +1

      Thank you! ❤

  • @myeyesburn641
    @myeyesburn641 2 місяці тому +4

    That actually makes a lot of sense. As a young teenager I had a girl in my class who has a really high IQ. She was very often missing school days and a few years later I learned that she actually suffered from depression. She often seemed to be lethargic and almost annoyed when she was talking to people like me (probably because the other classmates and I just have an average IQ). I also suffered from severe depression at that time, but I was able to function very well in my day to day life. But my depression came from being outsized and bullied, not from having a high IQ.

  • @pinkpeonyy
    @pinkpeonyy 5 місяців тому +65

    I was depressed for the longest time and I tried every drug possible.
    I finally realized that my whole life people tried to make themselves feel better around me by trying to make me feel bad or do something hurtful. Men took advantage of my naive nature. I finally learned how most humans operate and can now avoid their tactics. I spend most of my time alone working on my fitness when I’m not at work and I am very selective with who I spend my time with. So avoiding mainstream life and people along with leading a healthy, active lifestyle has been the antidote to my depression that I suffered for decades. I literally had to just understand the realities of life and take utmost care of my being. I hope this helps someone

    • @clarahudson8283
      @clarahudson8283 5 місяців тому +3

      Yes it certainly does Thankyou 🙏

    • @NM-dw8le
      @NM-dw8le 5 місяців тому +2

      It really does, thank you 🙏🏼

    • @aylinmadenci7344
      @aylinmadenci7344 4 місяці тому +2

      Thank you.

    • @cup_o_TMarie
      @cup_o_TMarie 4 місяці тому

      👏👏👏YES! This is me too, I just dove into my nervous system, spiritual healing & nutrition first.
      Now I’m working on fitness & finances.
      I DEFINITELY found that relying mostly on myself & not having a ton of people around has made an amazing difference. As well as not worrying about mainstream society. I’m lucky there because I’ve never been afraid to forge my own path.
      I have one good friend I can talk to but even she isn’t deep enough for me but her heart is good & she’s done healing work so she isn’t toxic.
      Wishing you the best🤍💪💫

    • @AntonioSarmiento26
      @AntonioSarmiento26 3 місяці тому +2

      This is what I’m doing at the moment, focusing on fitness and avoiding anything that ruins my mental health. Accepting the hard truth that this is real life and sometimes being intentionally ignorant helps a lot.

  • @jeankipper6954
    @jeankipper6954 5 місяців тому +127

    This explains so much. I've been "depressed" for 70 of my 73 years. And my IQ is 135. And the most recent diagnosis is CPTSD, which also explains so much. And often no help. In working with my current therapist, when triggered I almost immediately become completely inarticulate. Back to infancy. And it is extremely lonely.

    • @batintheattic7293
      @batintheattic7293 5 місяців тому +16

      Are you forced to speak, too, when it might be the case that you are much better at explaining in writing?

    • @jeankipper6954
      @jeankipper6954 5 місяців тому +14

      I write, very well. That's very comfortable. I also can speak very well, I've had ovations. Then, I have to retreat, like to a dark quiet place, until I get back to ok. Retirement is SO much better. This is tough stuff.

    • @catlifechannel3886
      @catlifechannel3886 5 місяців тому +9

      That’s very sad that the impact is so strong. Being intelligent and realistic is hard.

    • @jeankipper6954
      @jeankipper6954 5 місяців тому +2

      Yes.

    • @mamaurku
      @mamaurku 5 місяців тому

      @@jeankipper6954 Ditto. 🫂

  • @briansunday7099
    @briansunday7099 4 місяці тому +5

    Bravo for the clarification. I have to admit that I never had this problem - I genetically suffer from chronic depression and anxiety, but I was the most gifted kid in my school district, and I can testify at age 63, that never goes away. I’ve never felt stupid - in fact, my depression can often be triggered by that fact that I feel intellectually isolated from others.

    • @MugatuJag
      @MugatuJag 3 місяці тому

      I completely concur. I am 38 years old, I know I am intelligent and articulate. However, I do struggle with depression, motivation, but to the casual observer, they would look at me and say oh clean shaven, nice car, clean clothes….. It’s a façade.

  • @deborahbull5968
    @deborahbull5968 5 місяців тому +171

    Yes my body and brain feels so slow and I'm so forgetful

    • @probablypoetic8759
      @probablypoetic8759 5 місяців тому +12

      Yes, same here.

    • @Yamuma
      @Yamuma 5 місяців тому +6

      same!

    • @TeaRose9
      @TeaRose9 5 місяців тому +25

      Same. I struggle to get through each day without tremendous anxiety.

    • @experiencelifelittleone
      @experiencelifelittleone 5 місяців тому +3

      I feel that too

    • @ColdSensor
      @ColdSensor 5 місяців тому

      Over the year's this problem has gotten worse for me and I'm not sure what caused it to get this bad in such a short time

  • @womaninwood9177
    @womaninwood9177 Місяць тому +1

    Who doesn't want to hear that, right? But it explains a lot. Life is easier when you don't see as much. It hurts to see that many people opposing change, where change is crucial to heal the world.

  • @leemorris8723
    @leemorris8723 5 місяців тому +66

    i gained more insight from you in 20 minutes than i have in 30 years of 'therapy'. thank you is not adequate to express the hope you have just provided to me.

    • @jeremyjackson7429
      @jeremyjackson7429 5 місяців тому

      Most therapists are not trained or mentally incapable of dealing with very intelligent people.

    • @mat41174
      @mat41174 2 місяці тому

      Well stated. Time for me to pony up some cash.

  • @TheKrispyfort
    @TheKrispyfort 5 місяців тому +128

    The problem with being able to see the patterns is that typically you can also see the solution. It's the inability to affect what we consider meaningful change that would make a difference that is the crippler.
    Change needs cooperation from other people.
    Too many people fight against change because change threatens their idea of themselves.
    "The truest demonstration of sanity is the ability to change your mind"

    • @dotcassilles1488
      @dotcassilles1488 5 місяців тому

      My problem is getting the medical people to believe me when I point out the patterns in my complicated list of symptoms. At the moment one doctor who took over from my old doctor is upset because I know my own medical history but he doesn't. there is no way he can read it all (from hundreds of appointments) in the 10 minute appointments as well as giving me scripts, asking for current symptoms, giving me an injection (B12) and sending me for further tests/investigations. At the moment he treats me like I don't know my own body or that I'm being unreasonable when I expect him to find out why I am so unwell.
      To me it's crazy to expect me to use measures that were temporary "bandaid" solutions until I could see specialists as the only treatment I receive.
      I'm getting worse and yet I'm still not sick enough to get help. The medical people are waiting for me to have an emergency or get worse before they then have to rush to help me get better. I don't get help unless I'm in crisis.

    • @dotcassilles1488
      @dotcassilles1488 5 місяців тому

      Forgot to add: I'm diagnosed with a mental illness but can't take the medications, haven't taken them since February 2023 because of chronic vomiting problems and can't get to see the gastro doctor because they have triaged me as a category 2 and they aren't taking new patients because their wait list is more than 2 years. That is the public hospital. I went to a private gastro, he took almost $200 then wrote my GP to say to refer me back to the public hospital.
      I was told that if I was admitted to the bigger city ER then they would be forced to investigate and get everything managed before they released me.

    • @BillyBasd
      @BillyBasd 5 місяців тому +10

      It's not only that change would threaten their sense of being. It's that the change we drastically need requires powerful people to take a big monitary hit and lifestyle rollback.
      Not to mention a huge restructure of global trade. It is absolutely insane to ship things around the world because labor is cheaper half a world away than closer to the point of consumption.

    • @nvmffs
      @nvmffs 5 місяців тому +9

      I thought no one else had come to that realization but I guess you have. So you probably know the frustration one feels when people refuse to cooperate or change in any way. We have the ability to foresee what's going to happen to a person/a plan/an idea/ or the world itself well in advance, yet we can't do anything to stop it. Drives me insane to this day even though I'm practicing stoicism because I often find myself wondering "Why do I have this gift if the world doesn't let me put it to use ? "

    • @jeremyjackson7429
      @jeremyjackson7429 5 місяців тому +1

      Can confirm. Saw covid coming in late 2019 & started stocking up on toilet paper before anyone else.
      Now I see climate disaster coming & can't do a single thing about it to protect myself. Then I see stupid people exclaim "we need to be less selfish & save our grandkids from climate change". And it angers me because I WISH it was your GRANDKID's PROBLEM. The only reason I even care is BECAUSE I'M SELFISH.
      I'm on the Titanic & 50% of the stupid people think nothing bad will happen while another 50% of stupid people think that the crisis will be delayed until their grandkids' generation. LMFAO.
      Only stupid people on the Titanic would worry about lifeboats for their nonexistent grandkids. Meanwhile, I don't expect to live to my parents' age.
      And nobody can gaslight me otherwise since those same people were wrong in late 2019 & don't even have the awareness to notice how they didn't notice the most obvious thing in the world in late 2019. I swear, the unnecessary suffering caused by stupidity is morally indistinguishable from intentional malice at this point. In fact, it exceeds it.

  • @PeggyGallagher-y5p
    @PeggyGallagher-y5p 2 місяці тому +1

    ...the perpetual "dark cloud"...
    My thoughts to all of my brothers and sisters suffering today.🙏

  • @mocajrx1047
    @mocajrx1047 5 місяців тому +67

    This idea has grown on me for about 50 years. At times, I do find low tolerance for happy, less intelligent people.

    • @famousutopias
      @famousutopias 5 місяців тому +8

      I had a sticker on my old workshop door that greeted people with the words “thank you for not being perky”

  • @JohnNathanShopper
    @JohnNathanShopper 5 місяців тому +40

    This literally explains everything. You’re the only one who understands, Scott Eilers.

  • @JennCampbell
    @JennCampbell 4 місяці тому +2

    Whew. Now I know why I had breakdowns over dying at 4 years old, and why I've always been super aware of my own mortality. And feel better and worse....

  • @jomckee4447
    @jomckee4447 5 місяців тому +331

    I have always thought there was a link as people with a higher intelligence may think more deeply. But then there are plenty of intelligent nasty people around also. Will be an interesting listen

    • @presentfuture7563
      @presentfuture7563 5 місяців тому +31

      Maybe they're nasty because they're depressed!
      Anyway this should be good...

    • @tacarat
      @tacarat 5 місяців тому +56

      Overtuned defenses and pettiness comes at all IQs.

    • @fideldisalvo
      @fideldisalvo 5 місяців тому +42

      It's about awareness not intelligence. Awareness is definitely a form of intelligence but intelligence comes in many different forms.

    • @donwanderley7156
      @donwanderley7156 5 місяців тому +8

      Intelligence and disposition are entirely different

    • @evil1by1
      @evil1by1 5 місяців тому +20

      Intelligence and Temperament aren't related. You can be brilliant and cluster b, autistic (not that they are intending to be jerks but plenty of them do not work on their symptoms they know are perceived as assholish) cptsd, depressed, nihilistic, mentally ill and any other personality defect/flaw. Their Intelligence probably contributes because of the link as described in the video. Its really hard to be pleasant to idiots who are not going to reciprocate and are ultimately the cause of tons of the suffering. As they say "Forgive them Lord for they know not what they do."

  • @RJones-tn5vg
    @RJones-tn5vg 5 місяців тому +228

    I would gladly trade my intellect for happiness.

    • @normanclatcher
      @normanclatcher 5 місяців тому +4

      Fair trade.

    • @anjellalo972
      @anjellalo972 5 місяців тому +3

      Every emotion is valid and useful, putting one on a pedestal, you can never be content

    • @Randy-v9x
      @Randy-v9x 5 місяців тому +1

      Amen

    • @di3486
      @di3486 5 місяців тому +16

      I actually prefer intelligence.

    • @normanclatcher
      @normanclatcher 5 місяців тому +3

      @@di3486 The based choice.

  • @higherselfignited
    @higherselfignited 5 місяців тому +3

    Sending so much love to all the gifted folks struggling to be well in a world that is anything but.

  • @lameduck6786
    @lameduck6786 5 місяців тому +47

    I wish you were here in my home country of Germany. I have been looking for a therapist in my area for a long time (here in Germany it is generally very difficult to find a therapist with free capacity), but I am not very satisfied. My current therapist is a wonderful and understanding person, but she often does not understand my problem, my annoying, never-ending depression. But your videos help me a lot, I watch them almost every day. Please keep up the good work on UA-cam. You are an empathetic, absolute expert with realistic, tried-and-tested solutions!!!

    • @Maria-nl3px
      @Maria-nl3px 5 місяців тому +1

      Me too

    • @nvmffs
      @nvmffs 5 місяців тому +1

      Kind of a side question but how come there's no therapists with free capacity in Germany? Is everyone having a mental crisis over there ? Is that a new thing? Since Covid maybe ?

    • @are_you_f_serious
      @are_you_f_serious 5 місяців тому

      Moin Moin @lameduck6786 - Deutschland mhm .. du also auch? Nord oder Süd? West oder Ost? - Ich bin in MV .. und du so? Falls du jemanden zum Reden suchst. Ich würde mich mehr als freuen.

    • @raisti6608
      @raisti6608 4 місяці тому

      ​​@@nvmffs There are Lots of Therapists in Germany but most of them aren't covered by your heathcare plan, so you have to pay for yourself. These who are covered by healthcare are overrun and have long waittimes

    • @womaninwood9177
      @womaninwood9177 Місяць тому

      There are not enough "Kassensitze" for therapists in Germany. Whoever made this system in which you need to buy a "Kassensitz" to work as a therapist.

  • @debbysimon120
    @debbysimon120 5 місяців тому +72

    Yes! This is me, used to be able to multitask and now all I can do is focus on one thing at a time

    • @_Lord_of_Misrule_
      @_Lord_of_Misrule_ 5 місяців тому +22

      Maybe this perspective can help a little bit: we as humans aren't really made for the kind of multitasking we are practising today. We aren't that different from the early humans. And like the hunters and gatherers, we are able to focus on various things for a certain amount of time (like when hunting back then) but this is not supposed to be our standard mode of operation, so to speak. So it makes perfect sense that you used to be able to multitask (so did I btw) but hit a point where your brain slows you down because it isn't designed to do that forever.

    • @listentotheanimalscreamsha1511
      @listentotheanimalscreamsha1511 5 місяців тому +4

      I multitask but I think I'm adhd it's a trait of it.

    • @caveyful
      @caveyful 5 місяців тому +3

      Mindfulness reveals many insights not obtainable with multitasking.

  • @LarsBjerregaard
    @LarsBjerregaard 24 дні тому +1

    Oh lord, that was brilliant! You're so spot on. I'm still depressed but knowing why is a good thing. -"Ignorance is bliss".

  • @judithstephens-wilson8857
    @judithstephens-wilson8857 5 місяців тому +48

    This video is absolutely the best video I have ever seen about depression and intelligence. I have always believed that the higher a person’s intelligence’ the more likely they are to be depressed. However, I never knew the why of this. You have finally given me the why. Thank you, thank you!

    • @Debra-zy5vg
      @Debra-zy5vg 5 місяців тому

      Yes! Thank you Dr. Eilers ♡

    • @DeepsGnome
      @DeepsGnome 5 місяців тому +1

      Sorry, but the reality is the world can be a hard and difficult place, but an intelligent person can assess and process this without letting in cause them depression. Actually, most people that are depressed are mid/average level intelligence. Depressed people are not the least intelligent people, because they can at least assess and understand hard situations around them, but they aren't intelligent enough to navigate that situation in a healthy way.
      Truth is. If your depressed you're most likely mid/average intelligence.
      A strong link between depression and personality type, is narcissistic tendency. In that you analyse the things around you, but you make it all about you, and centre yourself in the situation, which increases your level of sadness, without the intellectual ability to navigate and process that.

    • @annelbeab8124
      @annelbeab8124 5 місяців тому

      ​@@DeepsGnomeno brain, no headache.
      It's up to us to get past those headaches that are just rumination out of habit (not intelligent) and not making us a separate centre of the world (not real, hence not intelligent) and deal with limits of all sorts (intelligent).
      I trick my mind into turning away from mood and self pity by saying "hey, is that really smart ?"
      Or "is this all happening now and new or really old?"
      If I catch myself in time, these two approaches prevent me from drifting into prolonged grief.
      Being compassionate and realistic about the state of human kind is a different affair. If we don't like things as they are, we need to change or rather drop all the garbage piled up by our memory function. It's sufficient to remember the way home. And a few other helpful details,)
      But we think our memory equals (our) existence which is just a delusion.

    • @DeepsGnome
      @DeepsGnome 5 місяців тому

      @@annelbeab8124 ive never heard of that process your using, but if its working and making you feel less depressed than i am happy its working for you. I'm confused with some of it, but as long as it makes sense for you and working, thats great.

  • @kerahamilton2643
    @kerahamilton2643 5 місяців тому +37

    Dr. Eilers, I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder when I was 13. I'm 74 now. While the mood lifts a bit, it never goes away and I have thought of myself as just "wrong' for most of my life. I also have a measured IQ of 132. You said this video was "probably the worst" one you've done. For me, it is the best. Now, perhaps, I can begin to understand why I find it SO difficult to interact with people . I had the feeling I was over their head and I thought that was arrogance. I fought against the sin of pride. Having worked with intellectually disabled athletes for the past 15 years, I thank you for the 70 to 100, 100 to 130 explanation. Never thought anything like that, and I thank you for putting it in my brain. Can't wait to see how it helps me in the future. As always, you have been more helpful for me on UA-cam and in your book than four past therapists who seemed to just give up on me. Thank you!

    • @catlifechannel3886
      @catlifechannel3886 5 місяців тому +7

      The 70-100-130 analogy explains so much.

    • @scepticalchymist
      @scepticalchymist 5 місяців тому +3

      In think the problem with intelligent people is, that they (i) always look for a logical reason for their emotions (because essentially they cannot really handle them by "just" feeling), (ii) always seek the solution to a perceived problem as if it is mainly caused by themselves. One should treat is as a kind of mantra, that no problem whatsoever is mainly caused by oneself. Sometimes it just is part of the outside world, without logic applying to it, and without a solution to find. It is a kind of psychic hygiene to not put blame on oneself, to not talk bad about oneself internally, to ignore as many unimportant things as possible. Difficult to manage, I know, but worth the try. One way to do it, might be to ask two questions: (i) Does feeling bad/blaming yourself make a bad situation better? (It never does!), and (ii) Do you think the current problem is important in a week, a month, a year to come? (It almost never is!).

    • @M-i-k-a-e-l
      @M-i-k-a-e-l 5 місяців тому

      Much love, Kera. Aporeciated your comment.

    • @anna_d5150
      @anna_d5150 5 місяців тому

      Have you considered a late adult diagnosis of autism?

  • @holke79
    @holke79 Місяць тому +2

    This is extemely good content. Thanks indeed!

  • @24tommyst
    @24tommyst 5 місяців тому +72

    Yep, scored 128 on my IQ test in 2008 after 12 years of LSD, cocaine, meth, and alcohol to dumb myself down--it didn't work very well. "Isolating" is an apt term for what you go through in the USA when you're a free-thinker with a decent IQ. Honestly, it's more like being a hated enemy! It took me over 15 years to become a chill humanist with empathy for the less gifted and to forgive those who treated me like shit. We're all the same, really, wanting to be connected with others, to have a reason for living, and to be happy and healthy. It does not matter if you have a 50 IQ, like probably many special kids I've worked with, or if you're genius, we're in the same hideous meat bodies that will betray us at any moment and spinning around on this rock in the universe with no real obvious mandate for what to do with our lives. We should work together and enjoy it!

    • @jenhasken
      @jenhasken 5 місяців тому +9

      Love this!

    • @antpoo
      @antpoo 5 місяців тому +4

      ‘Negative, I am a meat popsicle’
      The 5th element.

    • @paulgoogol2652
      @paulgoogol2652 5 місяців тому

      takes an iq of 128 to figure out that drugs are bad? took me much less of both iq and time. iq is overrated as funk.
      "hilarious meat bodies"... is this all you see? no interest in biology whatsoever? just the fact that such complex creatures as us came to exist just by trial and error and "memory" in the shape of DNA fascinates me. just meat... meat is everything to us. so I don't eat that.

    • @testowykana1763
      @testowykana1763 5 місяців тому +2

      It's really interesting, I came to similar conclusions. I now believe that all people (maybe expect psychopaths) want the same thing: to be loved. But so many people were hurt in their life, that they become cautionous, to not get hurt again. People then sublimate their need for love in very different ways, often forgetting what is their main motivation (being loved): some become eg. players and seduce women, engage in casual sex. Some people buy expensive stuff to get validation. Relationship are hard, but it's worth to take the risk and try to connect with people, and be good to each other.
      Funny how I also used the same way of describing world: that it's a piece of rock hung in the space.
      Thanks for sharing, I'm sending you warm greetings from the other side of the "rock" (Poland) :)

    • @tnix80
      @tnix80 4 місяці тому +1

      Sounds like my path

  • @keloreilly7017
    @keloreilly7017 5 місяців тому +28

    Thank you, Scott. I have lived under the umbrella of anxiety/depression my entire Life. You are helping me navigate though it in a way that makes me feel hopeful and lighter. You are a true Gift.

  • @tautalogical
    @tautalogical Місяць тому +1

    Yup, major existential crisis around 7, nothing but blank looks and dismissal from everyone around me. It's never left me.

  • @patc2296
    @patc2296 5 місяців тому +17

    I learned long ago, not to expect anything from anyone. Expectations only bring disappointments. I don’t bother anymore with trying to find someone to make me happy. My happiness is not up to others, but up to myself. Learning to distinguish what is worth getting depressed vs. what is not, has saved me from many unnecessary heartbreaks. Inner peace is the key to healing depression in my case 😊. Peace ☮️

    • @markcoledrumteacher
      @markcoledrumteacher 3 місяці тому

      I keep thinking that I never want my happiness based on someone else again.

  • @NetflixTopVideos
    @NetflixTopVideos 5 місяців тому +156

    So true, and i feel like an outsider, almost always, had some heavy stuff in early childhood, guess that is why. Thank you Dr. Scott. 😊

    • @miaa7097
      @miaa7097 3 місяці тому

      Thanks for describing me

    • @susanwright4414
      @susanwright4414 3 місяці тому +1

      Every kind, loving, or intelligent person feels alienated here. ❤
      Einstein said the only thing infinite is human stupidity.

  • @jennifergibson8566
    @jennifergibson8566 21 день тому +1

    Yes everything takes so much effort! And I wasn’t this way 10 yrs ago.

  • @bransonbeattie3441
    @bransonbeattie3441 5 місяців тому +19

    Struggling after losing my teenage son. Appreciate your help ❤

    • @mph1ish
      @mph1ish 5 місяців тому +4

      I'm so sorry. May he rest in peace 🙏

    • @robynmarler1951
      @robynmarler1951 5 місяців тому +3

      Oh no how awful. I'm so sorry, God bless your heart and grant you peace.

    • @davidredinger5938
      @davidredinger5938 5 місяців тому +1

      My condolences!!

  • @zenthr
    @zenthr 5 місяців тому +51

    Regarding the social isolation part, I think beyond just failing to develop social support, that it's also isolating from the opposite end. Since being "smart" is a "good thing", it entitles people to legitimately not care about you in the first place. Not in an explicitly terrible way, but a phrase comes to mind- "You're smart, you'll figure it out". That phrase, which I absorbed from so many places is entirely demeaning and belittling. Cruel, even. And then the learning kicks in- "I don't get support." "I don't get cared about". By middle school, it was certain- "I will live and die miserable and alone:" That thought has not been wrong for decades.
    I have nothing but contempt for anyone who calls me "smart" or "intelligent" for good reason- they said to my face "I don't give a shit about you as a person."

    • @Claudia-vn3fb
      @Claudia-vn3fb 5 місяців тому

      Yep, and add to this that everyone feels entitled to get your support with nothing in return, but when the support or advice isn't to their liking, you're the annoying smartass.
      So you learn to be self sufficient, because what else is there left to do. And then you're being told you're "avoidant" and a weird loner. Sigh.

    • @samsprague3158
      @samsprague3158 5 місяців тому +6

      I’m really sorry you’ve experienced this, and I know what you mean. But it’s really unfair to put that on anyone who gives you credit for being smart. As a counter example, high EQ people can be good at encouraging and supporting others while being “less smart”. These people are likely to compliment you as a way of lifting you up, while standing steadfastly by you in your times of need. Let them, without holding them in contempt.

    • @Julia69016
      @Julia69016 5 місяців тому +4

      If a child is doing well academically at school while not going out of their way to cause trouble to anyone, it seems to me that everyone is very happy tending automatically only to their most practical of needs and letting it be all together. Never concerned as to how this child is actually experiencing life.

    • @DanielBjorndahl
      @DanielBjorndahl 5 місяців тому +3

      @@Julia69016 exactly, if you get good grades and don't have bad behavior, doesn't matter if you have zero friends, depression, or any other issue which should be addressed! Only once other issues lead to performance issues at school, only then they might notice that something is wrong in that child's life

    • @smusssato
      @smusssato 3 місяці тому +1

      And when you grow up it turns to "if you're so smart then why you're so poor")
      Maybe bc I write dictionaries in state institution while you sell stuff, I dunno...

  • @amberyooper
    @amberyooper 19 днів тому +1

    This explains a lot about my general mental state and my struggles with depression and anxiety...

  • @Green-ie1dn
    @Green-ie1dn 5 місяців тому +12

    Max Planck's insightful observation, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change,” strikes the heart of human experience, suggesting that our perception shapes our reality. It's a philosophical gem that reminds us of the power of perspective

  • @MaybeHimSingh
    @MaybeHimSingh 5 місяців тому +53

    To all the 15k people watching this video, WE ARE SAME AND YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
    Though we will never MEET! But know that you are not crazy, you just know the LIFE better.

    • @Sana-go4zl
      @Sana-go4zl 5 місяців тому

    • @samsprague3158
      @samsprague3158 5 місяців тому

      Don’t give up man. We could still meet. Keep your heart and your ears open.

  • @bakerinthehouse5346
    @bakerinthehouse5346 4 місяці тому +3

    This is one of the best videos I have ever seen. You just articulated how my life has been forever. Thank you so much.

  • @Tweston3ny
    @Tweston3ny 5 місяців тому +8

    One of the times I was hospitalized for depression they tested me. My IQ dropped 20 points. It’s no joke, and very real.

  • @Dave5400
    @Dave5400 5 місяців тому +36

    Being more "intelligent" compared to your peers isn't just a case of "look at how stupid these peasants are", more often than not its the other people who assume that you think that way. I could not tell you the amount of times I've been accused of being posh, stuck up, or just generally having an inflated opinion of myself all because people see that you are a quicker learner (as you kindly put it).
    It's more that you really can't stand having conversations with people who's idea of a meaningful conversation consists of how big someone's boobs are. Being around a lot of those kinds of people exaggerates how different you are and subsequently you are mocked for being such.
    Years of that shit really takes its toll, and it makes you realise what depression can truly be. Then you come across videos like this and you go back to thinking: what the Hell was I worried about?

    • @KeepCalmCapybara
      @KeepCalmCapybara 4 місяці тому +3

      Yeah, I know that very well. It's not so sad anymore, it's just tiring, very tiring.

    • @sxwrtr918
      @sxwrtr918 4 місяці тому

      Yes! The amount of willful ignorance regarding ideas, abstract concepts, and understanding what is happening the world around them and how it affects them is astonishing. No interest, no curiosity. Can't have a meaningful conversation or exchange of ideas with such people. They often don't get humorous cynicism either, or it angers/frightens them because it's based in dark truths they don't want to acknowledge.They don't want to upset their simple, comfortable little cocoons and want life to be like a Disney cartoon. Lol at the boob-size comment. So on point.

  • @skippy7208
    @skippy7208 3 місяці тому +1

    Mensa member and anxiety sufferer here 👋 Currently learning about the brain’s Default Mode Network and how it can go into overdrive, during times of mind-wandering. I wonder if those of us with an above-average intelligence have a particularly active DMN? I used to love just letting my mind wander when I was in younger adulthood, but as I got older, it became more and more negative, fuelling anxiety. An excellent book is ‘Break Through’ by Hosein Kourous-Mehr which explains how this happens, and how to overcome it 👌

  • @philly8184
    @philly8184 5 місяців тому +61

    We are relational beings, not social. One on one, being seen and understood while seeing and understanding and relating to one other is what we long for. Not groups and socializing- that’s where the masks are, at the liars ball.
    Thank you for this video. Living this experience will certainly drive a person to the love of solitude AKA Isolophilia.

    • @OfWavesAndWinds
      @OfWavesAndWinds 5 місяців тому +9

      I don't think that's true for everybody. I think people with average to lower IQ are social and people with higher IQ are relational. Generally, of course.

    • @GloryBlazer
      @GloryBlazer 5 місяців тому +1

      I'd go with perspective of instinctual variants Sexual(intimate one-on-one), Social and Self Preservation all playing their part.

    • @chai_lattes
      @chai_lattes 5 місяців тому +18

      I struggle with this. After hanging out with people, I feel this wave of sadness and existential alienation. It's a terrible feeling.

    • @AlbertaMartian
      @AlbertaMartian 5 місяців тому +5

      @@chai_lattes Same. And I don’t understand why.

    • @macroscopes
      @macroscopes 5 місяців тому +6

      I never heard the term "relational being" but it sounds exactly what I have always thought. I love talking one on one, or maybe between 3... that would be the maximum... otherwise unless everyone is able to be respectful and give the chance to everyone to talk and share, it becomes a competition of who talks louder/says the funniest thing. I wonder if it is because they think that is the purpose of a gathering, or they feel insecure about their egos being diminished if they are not the centre of attention.. It is not always the case, specially when you are all true friends, but most of the time people are not able to stop their talking and listen to the others... I really don't understand it.

  • @LemonAde-zs9oz
    @LemonAde-zs9oz 5 місяців тому +63

    I did this in the context of a very small town and, in hindsight, I see that what damaged me was not the fact of being intelligent but the LABEL of intelligence applied to me. I was sexually abused as a child. I was not believed. I went into a freeze response that lasted many years and found my escape from life in books. But, the response from the adults around me was never "Why is this child so withdrawn?" It was always "She's fine. Doing well in school. She's just clever and bookish."
    That LABEL of intelligence followed me everywhere and accounts for much of the 'difference' I was made to feel as a child.
    I do sometimes envy those who skim the surface of life and find happiness in dim and shallow lives, but what has saved me many times is to remind myself that intelligene isn't a gift - it's a responsibility.

    • @brendalg4
      @brendalg4 5 місяців тому +1

      I was labeled as intelligent too... My IQ test was average. I didn't have it until my 50s, when health issues might have caused it to be lower. Do you have the symptoms he talks about in the video? I have some. So now I am wondering if trauma caused me to have these symptoms or if it is intelligence.

    • @dotcassilles1488
      @dotcassilles1488 5 місяців тому +6

      Your story is mine
      Books were and are my escape..
      I ended up bed bound with a list of chronic health challenges. Most of my family didn't see my worst days, only my disabled mum who cared for me saw.
      I keep being told "you are a strong woman, so independent, you can do anything" yet I know my body and mind are not strong, I'm struggling every day. My family chooses not to believe me or support me. I'm left alone to do what I can. People who aren't family assume my family is supportive and helping me because my family has always helped our community.
      I no longer tell my family everything, I tried and got told I was being dramatic and that "it's not as bad as you think".

    • @sadiemakesmesmile
      @sadiemakesmesmile 5 місяців тому +3

      @@brendalg4it’s both the trauma and the intelligence that cause symptoms but I love the OP saying it’s not a gift it’s a responsibility, as in find a way to make your intelligence work for you despite the trauma!

    • @JB52520
      @JB52520 5 місяців тому

      If trauma makes us withdraw, maybe that's what forces us to boost our own intelligence. Nothing but reading, seeking, analyzing, creating, anything to stop being in our own skin. This would explain some of the correlation between intelligence and depression. Of course it could go the other way, making people take drugs, play games excessively, and binge on trashy fiction. A balance between awareness and ignorance is bliss. Too much ignorance is its own kind of hell.

    • @Dave5400
      @Dave5400 5 місяців тому +4

      Sorry to hear that you had a bad childhood. Hope you're all doing well.
      What you say is true though about perceived intelligence. Its not that intelligence itself makes you an outcast, or even the fact that you may see yourself differently.
      Its because the rest of society sees you differently and if you are outcast at an early age because of it, then you really feel the effects in later life. It becomes your entire personality by default, even when you do nothing consciously to draw attention to it. As described in the video, its usually the result of trauma, no matter how seemingly insignificant.
      Ask me how I know...

  • @Amber-Lamps
    @Amber-Lamps Місяць тому +1

    Happiness is just delusion. I forget how miserable I am for a few fleeting minutes/days/weeks/months but eventually I come back to reality now I have to deal with the guilt of lying to myself.

  • @mimig6511
    @mimig6511 5 місяців тому +13

    This is fascinating. The one thing that bothers me because of the "research" is not having one friend. I have a husband who does not engage with anything on an intellectual level. I have self isolated due to depression and issues of non trust. I have started on a masters and using this as my "hobby" (in my late 60's) and this gives me some solace and connection (partly because it is online). I do not have anyone to chat with about my study (colleagues find it all a bit of a joke: old person studying ...how funny...wasting money on education when a crossword is cheaper!!). So, I see the importance of finding your group. Thanks for letting me rant. Thank you for sharing your information and yourself with this community....very generous of spirit.

    • @Lanmind01
      @Lanmind01 4 місяці тому +1

      Beautiful plan.

  • @PolarBearChicky
    @PolarBearChicky 5 місяців тому +8

    I think what adds to my depression making me feel really stupid is that because of the lack of motivation ive felt for so many years i haven't kept up in terms of skill development with my peers. Ive fallen behind in my career and its not because i dont understand things but because i just dont have the drive to do courses and learn in my own time. And of course that makes me feel even less connected and more depressed.

  • @megamanlinkfan
    @megamanlinkfan 17 днів тому +1

    this reminds me of when i was young i would often be told "you're too young to be thinking about stuff like that." "dont worry about that you're still young"
    The brain fog from depression makes a lot of sense. I feel i have moments where my brain refuses to work like im mentally disabled. I've learned to just laugh it off and some people think i do it on purpose cause of how surprising it is.

  • @whimsicalicicle9091
    @whimsicalicicle9091 5 місяців тому +10

    Thank you for this incredibly validating point of view. I was a “gifted/ high IQ” child who did start thinking about the big questions very early on in my life and this is the best explanation I have found of my experience. I have had lifelong depression and anxiety and started thinking about suicide at a very young age. I also have two teens who also struggle with this, but I have been able to support them in their existential thinking since they were young and they are much less self-destructive than I was as a teen. It’s still hard for them to find people they can actually connect with though and it’s hard not to think there’s something “wrong” with us. My kids are also diagnosed autistic so that adds another layer to it.
    I really like that you add in how we learn EVERYTHING faster. I definitely have a high sensitivity to rejection on top of actually being rejected and bullied by peers because I was “weird”.
    It’s really hard to find therapists who get this so thank you so much for sharing. I saved this so I can share with mine and my kids’ therapy teams.

  • @kimsnyder5456
    @kimsnyder5456 5 місяців тому +11

    I was tested three times while still in the throws of a serious brain injury and barely could read from short term memory issues... I averaged 135. I have no idea what my IQ is today but my child was tested at 145 at age 5. Throw that in with narcissistic abuse and becoming enlightened then estranged from my family. I am currently at rock bottom. I'm fighting my way back from this depression and I hope to get back into volunteering. Even though I'm depressed I seem to have a gift where I'm changing other people's lives for the better. Oh the irony of it all.

  • @blanktester
    @blanktester Місяць тому +1

    I have never felt more seen than by this video.

  • @thecozyconstellation
    @thecozyconstellation 5 місяців тому +34

    i needed this

    • @rowan7658
      @rowan7658 5 місяців тому +10

      I feel like that about my dog… the only reason to stay.

    • @catlifechannel3886
      @catlifechannel3886 5 місяців тому +6

      Similar here, on all those fronts. Cats providing an anchor to life for me, too.

    • @mamaurku
      @mamaurku 5 місяців тому +4

      I live in an indigenous rural village in the Andes with five dogs, a cat, and lots of chickens. Always successful attachment and emotional rewards with animals. Sometimes knowing I must care for them no matter how depressed I feel has been a real lifeline.

    • @sarahrose9944
      @sarahrose9944 5 місяців тому +1

      I hope y’all get more pets so you have more reasons to stay ❤

    • @g_g...
      @g_g... 4 місяці тому

      Smartness and iq are not the same

  • @Dani-ICU-RN
    @Dani-ICU-RN 5 місяців тому +25

    0:32 exactly. I went from saving strangers lives for a living. Being a busy PTA mom the cheer mom the basketball mom the Girl Scout cookie pimp etc etc to literally I can't stand up and even brush my teeth, stuck in a wheelchair and disability is 30 months now I'm waiting for help. The day my husband and my father died 3 hours apart, well I lost his income and the support of my dad and I'm just miserable now. Thank you for your videos

    • @juliz2500
      @juliz2500 5 місяців тому +6

    • @skippy7208
      @skippy7208 5 місяців тому +5

      Oh my goodness, that’s an enormous blow to recover from, I’m so very sorry for your losses. Sending hugs 🤗❤️

    • @gefleigh4264
      @gefleigh4264 5 місяців тому +1

      I'm thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers, I'm so sorry for your loss.

    • @bobvbryan1266
      @bobvbryan1266 3 місяці тому

      Damn. You're amazing. I understand what you're saying.

    • @Hope4all2
      @Hope4all2 2 місяці тому

      ❤️❤️

  • @MichaelJones-rg3hv
    @MichaelJones-rg3hv 5 місяців тому +6

    I enjoy conversing with people, especially when I can go deep into topics, but I often find myself shifting my focus to meet other people at their level. It's not often that people try to meet me on mine. Not that shallow analysis of a situation is always a problem, but I like to dive deep into themes and patterns.

  • @Red5x5x5
    @Red5x5x5 5 місяців тому +85

    "This is like the worst pep talk ever." 😂 True enough this is not the pep talk we wanted, but it's the pep talk we needed.

  • @paulinskipukprogressive4903
    @paulinskipukprogressive4903 5 місяців тому +13

    Thank you for what you do Scott
    You are one of the only ones who tackles the really difficult stuff
    Also you provide a lot of accuracy in your descriptions of how this actually works rather than academic theories

  • @Nothingtrueeverythingpermitted
    @Nothingtrueeverythingpermitted Місяць тому +1

    he nailed it on the head especially about talking to people

  • @user-dj8iu2xv6y
    @user-dj8iu2xv6y 5 місяців тому +14

    I’ve been trying to heal my depression by improving my life circumstances. Without meds. It’s hard but I’m determined.

    • @ngeee10
      @ngeee10 5 місяців тому +2

      Me too and my anxiety!

    • @Ana-jf1ch
      @Ana-jf1ch 5 місяців тому

      @@user-dj8iu2xv6y but remember, there's no shame in asking for help, sometimes we need it.

    • @BiffTannen-lo3gf
      @BiffTannen-lo3gf 3 місяці тому

      You can't heal your depression, you have to find a way to cope with it.
      Being active as much as possible can help a lot.

  • @melodycook4561
    @melodycook4561 5 місяців тому +27

    This is very validating, as I've been saying this for years. No amount of medication removes me from a late stage capitalistic hell-hole.
    Another depression inducing thought: those in power do not want to fix anything we all know is broken, because we seek distraction with our dollar. Money spent on drugs, alcohol, vacations, experiences, material goods, etc would significantly decrease if we lived in a world we didn't feel the need to escape from. That's why it all feels so hopeless, and why meds and therapy seem pointless. I'm too aware to be truly happy. It's like trying to meditate in a hurricane.

    • @catlifechannel3886
      @catlifechannel3886 5 місяців тому +1

      ‘Late-stage capitalistic hell hole’ is a great phrase. Govt’s don’t want to fix anything because sick people are more profitable - and easier to control.

    • @marcodarko6941
      @marcodarko6941 5 місяців тому

      Perhaps you should try moving to China, North Korea or Venezuela.
      I mean communism worked so well for those people down there in South America they are flooding up here to this country to turn it into what they are fleeing from.

    • @DeepsGnome
      @DeepsGnome 5 місяців тому

      Sorry, but the reality is the world can be a hard and difficult place, but an intelligent person can assess and process this without letting in cause them depression. Actually, most people that are depressed are mid/average level intelligence. Depressed people are not unintelligent people, because they can at least assess and understand hard situations around them, but they aren't intelligent enough to navigate that situation in a healthy way.
      The truth is. If someone is depressed they're most likely mid/average intelligence.
      A strong link between depression and personality type, is narcissistic tendency. In that you analyse the things around you, but you make it all about you, and centre yourself in the situation, which increases your level of sadness, without the intellectual ability to navigate and process that.

    • @melodycook4561
      @melodycook4561 5 місяців тому +4

      @DeepsGnome I never said anything about my intelligence. Interesting that your first move was to knock me down. Do you feel bigger after making others feel small?

    • @DeepsGnome
      @DeepsGnome 5 місяців тому

      @@melodycook4561 how have i knocked you down exactly? Im not speaking to your intelligence, i was speaking to the claim of the youtube personality in the video. I was saying that their intuition and claims are not backed up by the data. Im not here to feel big, just to inform people of the facts so they can navigate their depression in a healthy and productive way.
      Letting people know that depression is usually not due to their intelligence, but actually more likely thier life outlook and personality traits, can help people identify what may need to slowly change over time to see a change and potentially find recovery out of depression.

  • @catherineobrien8696
    @catherineobrien8696 5 місяців тому +2

    You hit the nail on the head. The more intelligent a person is the more realistically they see the world and life, neither of which is great, really a raw deal. And so of course you'll tend to be depressed.

  • @user-zk5rt3gb3e
    @user-zk5rt3gb3e 5 місяців тому +15

    You are providing such an important service. You're like the "Bob and Brad" for psychology. (for those who don't know: Bob and Brad are physical therapists whose UA-cam channel deservedly has 5 million subscribers. Because they give such effective advice. )

  • @cherolynrowland
    @cherolynrowland 5 місяців тому +8

    This video is so important. Thank you so much for making it. I know it will help people. It wasn’t until I found an article online a few years ago - of someone explaining what psychomotor retardation is and how they experience it with their depression that I even knew what I was experiencing had a name. I have had severe depressive episodes on and off throughout the last 27 years. As you can imagine I’ve sought out and tried so many treatments. I’ve also been to a lot of therapy and seen different psychologists and psychiatrists. None of them ever told me about this. I thought I must have something more severe than depression because during the worst episodes I found it almost impossible to move. I can stare at a glass of water on my nightstand and cannot sit up or reach my arm to the glass. I have been stuck in the bathtub until the water went cold because I was not able to stand up and get myself out. In the absolute worst of long term episodes my husband has had to spoon feed me because I literally cannot sit up on my own nor feed myself. I understand this is a severe case, but because of people like you are teaching us about these type of symptoms I don’t worry as much. I wish a doctor years ago would have explained this to me. The other scary symptom I get a lot is derealization and depersonalization. If someone had explained to me years ago what that is and that it is often a symptom of anxiety and depression I would have been saved so many months and years of fear. I would have understood that I was not going crazy and that this was another possible symptom of depression and anxiety. I found that out from another psychologist that makes videos like yours. Please keep doing what you are doing! Your knowledge and videos help me so much. And to all who struggle - do not give up. Don’t ever give up. Make a promise to yourself right now that you will never hurt yourself no matter how bad it gets - even if all you can do for weeks is stare at a wall and breathe in and out - that is your daily work. For comfort ask a friend to sit with you and stare at that wall. Friends never know how to help and they want to. And the only thing that they can do for me is sit with me doing absolutely nothing. Not even talking. Just having someone sit next to you as you go through the pain gives a little comfort. As they say, it will get better in time. Though I know it is almost impossible to believe that when you are in a major depressive episode.

  • @otto9468
    @otto9468 2 місяці тому +1

    Thanks, very informative video. I never realized how much of 30 IQ points of difference can make. I have an IQ between 130-140 according to the Mensa IQ tests and I'm so depressed most of the time. I learn everything very quickly, then it becomes all boring. Not to mention how difficult is for me to understand other people's problems, it all seems so easy. I don't say it's bad to have high IQ, but more difficult than many thinks.

  • @missbluesea
    @missbluesea 5 місяців тому +31

    “This is the worst pep talk, ever.” Haha- you’re the best, Dr. Eilers. Thank you so much for this and for everything. ❤️

    • @tamjg
      @tamjg 5 місяців тому

      A quote to remember!

  • @rebeccadoll1597
    @rebeccadoll1597 5 місяців тому +17

    Would you consider doing a podcast about rebuilding self esteem and sense of self (rebuilding of self-particularly when capabilities have changed due to a chronic mood disorder) ?

  • @Victoria-c4n
    @Victoria-c4n 5 місяців тому +2

    This is the most informative message I’ve heard in a long time. Thank you.
    70+ here… “big bang theory” was not taught in Jr. High. I remember arguing with my teacher about how the continents would pretty much fit together if cut out like puzzle pieces; he shrugged and didn’t comment. Yes, I had horrific childhood experiences & am was the “odd one” in my entire family. I feel at times that I was born “depressed” & have been on multiple medications over the years. I look forward to death at present but have no suicidal ideation; it’s simply almost my time to exit an often cruel existence. Luckily, my spouse & I have made our married life the best it could possibly be & have shared many laughs in “our sanctuary”.

  • @Cocoanutty0
    @Cocoanutty0 5 місяців тому +38

    I’m starting to believe in the whole “ignorance is bliss” thing. Like, of course it is! The anxiety of knowing and understanding the horrors of the world and how unrealistic rose-tinted-glass solutions are is extremely tiring and depressing.
    I saw a “would you rather” thing recently that asked if you’d rather be smart, beautiful, or wealthy, assuming you wouldn’t have the other two. So many people said either wealthy or smart. I decided I’d rather be beautiful because pretty privilege would make it much easier to become wealthy, and I wouldn’t be depressed all the time. Some said wealthy because they could just pay for plastic surgery, and there’s no way that’s realistic nor comfortable, lol.

    • @sashashaktiable
      @sashashaktiable 5 місяців тому +1

      You wanna know what's even worse than being smart? Being a smart and beautiful woman. Of course people all are conditioned to use and abuse each other to a certain degree, but when you are beyond average looking, people start to focus on you more, and with more recognition comes more projection. You become the target for all sorts of things that people just need someone to put the blame on. That of course goes for men and women, plus men also just see the shiny object that gives rise to all kinds of fleeting desires. What they all fail to notice is the true being behind the beauty. It has been a very miserable path thus far, and realistically the chances of improvement are practically non-existent. Anyhow, we all have to deal with the cards we have been dealt, and everything comes with advantages and disadvantages. I don't see anyone truly being better off - the people who consider themselves living what they refer to as 'happy lifes' mostly are just numb and blind on so many levels. Whereas someone who notices more is in my perspective much more alive - life is much closer to someone who sees more than others. But with that of course also comes more pain. A wider range of emotions in general, more depth. I still prefer not to be one of the zombies, basically.

    • @EUROPA-THE-LAST-BATTL
      @EUROPA-THE-LAST-BATTL 5 місяців тому

      @@sashashaktiableyou are my female version swear to god love every bit of your comment I’d rather be isolated miserable and not a zombie..
      By the way I’m also above average in terms of attractiveness and i was the target the enemy around any group cause i represent a threat for them..
      😂 F this society they care only about superficial things ego and beauty.

    • @sharong6945
      @sharong6945 5 місяців тому

      ​@@sashashaktiableI came here to say this. I would rather be less intelligent and average looking.

    • @sashashaktiable
      @sashashaktiable 5 місяців тому +1

      @@sharong6945 you know what I actually think? Our most natural state, meaning the state of our soul, is a state of unlimited, unimaginable beauty and intelligence. Which is the reason why beauty is so valued - because it reminds us of the state of our soul, of our true self. The reason why people are so envious of beauty also is that the beauty they see in someone else reminds them of the disconnection they feel from their inner divinity, from their authentic true expression. And they just don't know how to reconnect, so they just project the pain that they feel about their own disconnection onto the one who reminds them of the connection they lost. It is tragic really.
      I also learned through watching myself that I became more beautiful the more I allowed myself to live as my true self, which means to live by an impulse received in the heart. But that's a way of living that requires true courage, and only few people are willing to pay the price of inconvenience in a world that has fallen into amnesia of the self to the degree that you are conditioned to measure your own value by your ability to seamlessly disappear in the masses - which is not an achievement, it is just proof of your cowardice. And of how deeply you lost your ability to feel yourself. How far removed you are from your true self.
      The system we lived in thus far of course encouraged that state of disconnection through poisoning on all levels - physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. And through the early enforcement of that disconnected state, we fell into deep confusion, which is why it has been easy to condition people to look outside for guidance because they lost the inner guidance, yet true guidance is only to be found within through communion with your soul through learning to feel yourself. And the more you are able to sense yourself, the better you become at making healthy choices for yourself on all levels, which ultimately leads to natural self-optimization. But other than that being informed by an intellectual process (from the outside in), it is a spiritual process (from the inside out) that forms you - which will always be superior to intellect. That's also the reason why our world is falling apart now - because the structures built on intellect, on a disconnected state, are bound to fail. That includes all religions that require their followers to blindly follow rules and live by principles - from now on, only that which has truth, the essence of the soul, will survive. Only that which calls people into their own authority through reconnection to their own divinity will survive. Everything else will destroy itself. Especially Islam. Because Islam disrespects the female, and with that half of what creation needs in order to exist, and with that it attacks a part of itself. Only that which comes from inner union, and through that to the understanding of the natural union of equally powerful and necessary female and male, will survive. Because that's the foundation of life.

    • @sashashaktiable
      @sashashaktiable 5 місяців тому

      @@sharong6945 so I would base my choice on what is of most integrity to life, and that leads to becoming my true self fully, so that I do what only I came here to do. And that's what we all should do - become our true self fully, so that we live as our true self fully. This is the only way we can actually play our part in the puzzle of life. Only you can fill that space, only your true self. We have to stop trying to put each other down, to hold each other down, we have to stop copying each other - we have to return to originality, which of course can only come from our origin - from our soul. Every original expression comes from the soul. And this is how this world becomes what it actually is supposed to be. And funny enough, the embodiment of the true self actually also is the only thing that will fulfill you. Everything else is a parasitic dynamic, which of course is draining. So how about we get it right this time, shall we?

  • @BlueDoginRedSoLa
    @BlueDoginRedSoLa 5 місяців тому +34

    Ignorance is bliss.
    Once you know something, you become responsible.
    Sometimes I prefer to NOT notice things.

    • @DeepsGnome
      @DeepsGnome 5 місяців тому +2

      Sorry, but the reality is the world can be a hard and difficult place, but an intelligent person can assess and process this without letting in cause them depression. Actually, most people that are depressed are mid/average level intelligence. Depressed people are not the least intelligent people, because they can at least assess and understand hard situations around them, but they aren't intelligent enough to navigate that situation in a healthy way.
      Sad truth. If your depressed you're most likely mid/average intelligence.
      A strong link between depression and personality type, is narcissistic tendency. In that you analyse the things around you, but you make it all about you, and centre yourself in the situation, which increases your level of sadness, without the intellectual ability to navigate and process that.

  • @Rogerseegren271
    @Rogerseegren271 3 місяці тому +20

    Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health symptoms like anxiety and depression, I would like to try them again but it's just so hard to source out here

    • @AnaSolano190
      @AnaSolano190 3 місяці тому +9

      I’ve been researching on psychedelics and it’s benefits to individuals dealing with Anxiety, Depression, ADHD and from my findings, they really work and I’ve been eager to get some for a while but its been difficult to get my hands on them.

    • @AlbertoTorres894
      @AlbertoTorres894 3 місяці тому +7

      The Trips I've been having really helped me a lot. I’m now able to meditate and I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well

    • @Eddington451
      @Eddington451 3 місяці тому +6

      I was having this constant, unbearable anxiety due to work stress. Not until I came across a very intelligent mycologist. He saved my life honestly

    • @RicardoSilva12299
      @RicardoSilva12299 3 місяці тому +6

      ​@@AlbertoTorres894
      I feel the same way too. I put too much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels. I am also glad to be a part of this community.

    • @CarmenOrtiz440
      @CarmenOrtiz440 3 місяці тому +5

      ​@@Eddington451Does he deliver to various locations?

  • @vonniejellyhead
    @vonniejellyhead 5 місяців тому +6

    Thanks Scott. That makes so much sense. I don't know my IQ score but I'm generally pretty bright. I'm 59 now but when I was in my teens and 20s I just didn't feel like I was on the same page as my peers. I was a worrier and couldn't understand how others could be so carefree. I thought there was something wrong with me and even got laughed at for worrying so much. I've gained some good friends over the years, though, and have a very close relationship with my son who is now in his 20s. He is very bright and has unfortunately had his worries too but we are able to talk about things. Thankfully, mental health issues are much more understood these days and spoken about. Through things like your videos, I feel much more "normal" than I used to. I still get anxious and worry that a happy retirement may never come to fruition, for all the reasons you mention, but I can visualise it and hope it does. Thank you for the time you give to making your videos. They really help me as I am sure they help many others.

  • @susandrydenhenderson6234
    @susandrydenhenderson6234 5 місяців тому +5

    This is an exact description of how I’ve been feeling and I could cry with relief to have that “diagnosis” of depression confirmed (I’d not sought medication attention) and to know that somebody exactly understands what I feel like.